Archive: metaposts

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Hey all! I’ve been tweaking my ad setup a bit and I wanted to draw your attention to a couple of ad slots that are available on the site. There’s a big 970 x 250 billboard that sits between the first two posts on the front page and above the title on an individual post page; and there’s a 300 x 600 skyscraper that sits in the left-hand nav bar. They’re both great formats for striking comics art, and both get you a text shout-out in the Comment of the Week metapost.

You might remember Brian Carroll’s Two Party Opera as one of our big advertisers from last year. After his run completed, he sent me this very nice note:

I just wanted to give you an update on the success of advertising Two Party Opera on your site. A couple months ago, I was approached by GoComics for digital syndication and the comic has been mirrored there for about a month now. The visibility and readership for the comic quintupled overnight and I suspect that none of that would have been possible without advertising on your site (as I’m sure GoComics keeps tabs on the comics you roast).

Anyway, while obviously past performance doesn’t guarantee future results, etc., it’s a sign of what can go right for you if you choose to showcase your comic on a site dedicated to comics. Or showcase anything else, if you want! I won’t turn down your money! To start the process, head over to my BuySellAds page.

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Your comment of the week is happening … right now!

“I dig the classic ‘don’t try this at home, kids‘ vibe in panel two. All the while knowing that comic book nerds everywhere are sticking plutonium up their butts, hoping for some super power other than rectal cancer.” –Dennis Jimenez

Your runners up are … also hilarious!

“Another fun fact is that sea turtle used to be considered something of a delicacy in the Caribbean before protection laws stopped the hunt of these majestic animals. Of course … these ones are already dead, aren’t they…? [begins honing cleaver]” –pugfuggly

“I thought Josh would point out Dennis’s prayer as the menacing point in today’s strip. Isn’t saying ‘…and that’s it’ to the big guy akin to praying something like ‘…and we better have world peace by 5:22 tomorrow or you’ve had it’? Threatening the Lord is about as menacing as you can get, IMHO.” –Charles Nelson, Really!

“It’s no coincidence that Mark refers to sea turtles as ‘ancient mariners.’ Clearly, the real reason they’ve become endangered is that one of them ate an albatross — a fact that Mark is helping hide from the public consciousness due to his longstanding symbolism debate with the CliffsNotes corporation.” –BigTed

“Our scientists said there might be enough oxygen for us to live on the moon for another year or two if we gave up smoking cigars. But then, what would we be living for?” –Peanut Gallery

“‘Mary, together we’ll make a great team!’ Ted shouted. As he moved to embrace Mary, though, doubt flashed through her mind. ‘Team?’ she wondered, ‘Is that what he intends? But that would mean acknowledging him as something like an equal! Doesn’t he realize that I alone am the greatest being on the face of the Earth? That I am a jealous biddy and do not share power or glory?’ ‘Goodbye, Ted!’ she said aloud, calmly and forcefully. She felt some small sadness at having to abandon this plan to spread her meddling, but there would be other opportunities. Mary was confident she had made the right decision.” –JJ48

“I dunno, but it appears to me that this plugger has finally realized just how much time you can save in total if you start out the day, you know, dead.” –seismic-2

“After getting bored mid-sentence writing the hundredth variation of the ‘Going out tonight? Here’s the shocking reason your drink might kill you’ clickbait that keeps local news barely solvent, the Perfesser starts googling ‘regrettable tattoos‘ in a desperate bid to persuade himself that there are people out there who’ve made worse life choices than him. This is the most accurate depiction of journalism I’ve ever seen.” –Schroduck

“It would the best if we got two more days of uncomfortable creepin’ with the payoff Friday when Mary hits him with a quick gut punch and flips him through the coffee table. ‘How do you like the taste of them muffins!’ she cries before kicking her prone foe in the face with her sensible shoes.” –Aphthakid

A recent study shows that 3-5 alcoholic drinks per day by birds may result in tender, pre-marinated flesh that is just perfect for roasting.” –Voshkod

“Snuffy Smiff keeps trying to replace the Daily Jumble, but for hillbillies.” –Hogenmogen

“Snuffy’s idea of romance: demanding (as usual) that your wife do manual labor for you so that you can be as lazy as possible, but with a pun involved.” –Enlong

“Ah, Pepper’s. Prime competitor for Lemonwasp’s and OMG Tuesday’s!” –Pak-Man

“I thought ‘Ghost‘ was some sort of cut-rate Phantom of the Opera, what with the mask and the tuxedo and such. So I was reading his last line in the sense of ‘I’ve built a set of secret passages around a giant lake/luxury home/torture chamber in the basement, and I’m going to keep running this restaurant from the shadows. Do you think you could sing lead soprano in Hannibal?’” –Rita Lake

“I must confess that I saw the restaurant’s name as ‘Preppers,’ which normally would indicate that I’m spending too much time in the dark corners of the Web. However, it would make perfect sense in light of the Ghost’s refusal to sell. Everyone knows a Prepper would never trade his bolthole for government scrip!” –But What Do I Know?

“I’m more worried about the extreme nonspecificity of ‘a catering event.’ Either it’s something so criminal that Blondie can’t talk about it, like the hitman in the cake in Some Like It Hot, or it’s a euphemism for something too terrible to talk about, like the International Nuclear Event scale. Either way, a lot of people died for those mini-cakes.” –matt w

“Um, it’s simple, MJ. Webs can cover Hulks … but, um, Lizards eat Spiders … while Hulks smash … ah, forget it … isn’t Judge Judy on yet. Hey, Bruce, you wanna watch someone you’ll like when she’s angry?” –Where’s Rocky

Bruce and I barely understand what radiation did to our blood. Same goes for the Lizard. That’s why we’ve spent the last day and a half swapping it around our bodies like a game of transfusion musical chairs with no forethought or follow-up. It’s called science.’ –Dan

“‘Look, you’re a beautiful young lady, but you don’t know anything about radio — or the world. Let me give you lessons in both,’ said Marty Moon, just before they castrated him.” –Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

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Your comment of the week in a moment but first: there’s a new book out from friend of the blog/RiffTrax writer/hilarious human Conor Lastowka, The Pole Vault Champion Of The Entire Universe, and you need to check it out! It’s got pole vaulting, space aliens, micronations, and the Olympics — what’s not to love? Conor also wrote Gone Whalin’, so you know it’s gonna be good stuff. Is it related somehow to the Far Side Memes group Conor also created? I’m not actually sure, but you need to get onboard with all his multi-platform #content.

But you guys make content too, and here’s the top content-unit from you this week: this week’s comment of the week!

“On the ground below, Carlos Alora readies his 40-foot extension ladder and once again tries to suppress his abject fear of heights. It’s Thursday. And the house plants Mary had firmly instructed him to place on the outside of the fixed windows in her apartment… Must. Be. Watered. The metal creaks ominously as, with the watering can clenched in his teeth, Carlos shakily begins his weekly climb from hell.” –Charterstoned

The runners up are also hilarious!

“I hope this arc ends with Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart or some other big-shot suing Mary for branding a recipe that she wrote down off of the TV one morning. After all, seeing what Mary ‘can’ cook, this is the only plausible explanation.” –Dimensionalotter

“I cherish Mary’s bitterness in the penultimate panel. ‘Those assholes who read Ask Wendy never bother to ask, Hey, Wendy, what’s your real name? They actually think Wendy is a real person. Can you imagine that? Jesus, what a bunch of dumbshits.’” –Joe Blevins

“Oenophiles the world around recommend a dog’s bed for long term wine storage.” –nescio

“Well, you heard it here first: Ed is so careless with his pills that he is singlehandedly driving up the price of pharmaceuticals at a national level. While those dopes in Washington argue over risk pools and pre-existing conditions, they could solve the whole thing with just one well-aimed drone strike.” –pugfuggly

“Wow; Gil Thorp gives a big hint about its politics in the second panel of today’s strip, which features a black hand throwing a white towel. The Black Hand, of course, supported a unified Serbia and is best known for the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand, which ignited the First World War. But here, the Black Hand is throwing the white flag, the traditional symbol of surrender. Down with the Black Hand, down with unified Serbia, eh, Gil? I knew from the start that you were Herzegovinian nationalist. I bet Thorp is the name they gave you at Ellis Island because the immigration officer couldn’t figure out all the diacritics.” –Voshkod

“You’d think after 50 years of this annual tradition of celebrating New Years on February 5th by devouring an entire box of moldy, ancient candy that his wife would be vaguely aware of it.” –Aphthakid

“‘I like the Beatles.’ ‘I eat beetles every day!’ ‘I like the ’Stones.’ ‘I spit those out.’ ‘I like The Who.’ ‘What?’ ‘No, Who.’ ‘Who… who?’ ‘Oh, are you part owl?'” –Hogenmogen

“Rex is now impressed because, to him, a ‘hobby shop’ is what he calls a medical practice.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Everything about the Perfesser’s date — from his not-so-subtle ‘I like the KINKS and DATING MYSELF’ hints to her cruel undatelike demeanor and use of the taunting double-entendre ‘KEEP BORING ME’ — suggests this is an elaborate humiliation roleplay organized through whatever the bird equivalent of Craigslist is (Craneslist? Eggslist?). Everything, that is, except the pink turtleneck.” –Schroduck

“[folds arms, looks bored] Whatever, I’ve never even heard of the Doors. I don’t own a TV, and I have a lot of thoughts on David Foster Wallace. This date is supposed to be going badly for me.” –Dan

Crankshaft has the form of a three-panel comic with a punchline, but the payoff is just Crankshaft’s confused face, his veneer of belligerence stripped away to reveal a vulnerable old man whose body is breaking down so much he can’t even handle the medicine that’s supposed to slow the breakdown of his body. Which is punchline enough! God knows it gives me more pleasure than all the strip’s jokes combined.” –matt w

“Quick question: A school bus isn’t considered ‘heavy’ machinery, is it?” –BigTed

“Sell me a muffin and I eat for a day, Mary. But give me a muffin and June Brigman draws ninety-eight panels of me sitting on your couch over the course of three months.” –Hopester

“Mary does not care if her name will adorn her muffins for she knows that each one will be shaped like her iconic head, lovingly mass baked in MW-shaped muffin tins. And each one will come with the slogan, ‘Eat, this is my body’ because Mary is the true savior of ungrateful, sinful humanity.” –McCapwell

“Looks like the setup for a murder mystery, Dial B for Boring.” –Liam

“‘Did you listen to to Jorge’s game on the radio last night?’ ‘No, I’m out of potatoes and couldn’t power up my wireless set. Seriously… radio?’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

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