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Your top comment this week is about 9 Chickweed Lane — trust me, it makes sense if you follow along:

“Hoo boy, will all you people feel silly when this strip goes back to unicorns and finger-fucking. ‘Bring back the Nazi!’ you’ll say, but too late.” –Buck Ripsnort

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Jenna must be a good accountant if she’s able to detail the Johnsons’ finances on a single sheet of paper. I imagine she simplified their money problems down to the basics: Income: $84,000 (very good!) Miscellaneous expenses: $56,000 (not bad!) Hideous pastel outfits: $49,000 (whoopsies!)” –BigTed

“Meanwhile in Trailville, sideburns have arrived.” –Sheila Sternwell

“Is there some kind of drug that you can inhale that makes basic budgetary details seem interesting? If so, financial counselor Jenna Thomas has been sniffing it off her right index finger all week.” –nescio

“The hostility coming off the clowns probably has something to do with Dagwood’s ridiculous hair and giant yellow button. I’m guessing they thought he was betraying his clown heritage, like some sort of clown Uncle Tom.” –BananaSam

“I’m pretty sure Mark Trail is just working its way down to advocating a return to a completely lawless, survival-of-the-fittest society. ‘This social contract, it only serves to rob poor, innocent, old women of their animal companions. Laws did this.'” –Dave

“‘Margo and Luann love lasagna, and they can’t bicker with their mouths full.’ I was praying that panel two would be a cut to Tommie sitting at the dinner table, covered in half-chewed lasagna that is shooting at her from either side.” –Grump

“Oh now that’s just ridiculous. You can’t arbitrarily stick a C3 (Commercial/Light Industrial/No Dogs Allowed) designation in a block full of R2s (Cheesily Sinister Snobbish Residential).” –Hogan

“[Wilbur] is stuffing food in his face in the least graceful way one can stuff food in one’s face without involving a pie cannon or spray cheese rocket.” –Chip Whittle

Too long to reproduce here in fall, but also worthy of your attention, is this epic Luann fantasy from Old School Allie Cat.

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we could be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Let’s get right to your COMMENT OF THE WEEK, people!

“I think we can all agree that even if TJ does embark upon a romantic liaison with an eight-year-old, this will still only be like the third or fourth grossest plot development in recent Luann history.” –Violet

And the runners up! Hi-larious!

“The other people in the hospital have the right idea. ‘LOOK AWAY! It’s too late for that woman, but we can save ourselves if we just don’t make eye contact!'” –Dragon of Life

“You better not talk/ You better not cry/ You better watch out/ I’m telling you why/ Margo Magee is watching you eat” –skullcrusherjones

“Luann is mildly funnier (and much more fitting) if one imagines Shannon pronouncing it ‘B-wad.'” –indrifan

“I’ve really no time to chit-chat, Bonnie. I need to get this Alexander Haig costume back to the novelty store.” –Doug Starr Twinkle

“Every time I laugh at Ziggy, I’m filled with equal parts nostalgia and shame.” –Jesse C

“As much as I love Gil Thorp, and I do, I think it’s time to tweak the format. Instead of giving us season after season of boring, middling teams who miss the playdowns, why not give us horribly, violently dysfunctional teams that miss the playdowns, with the culmination of every plot being Kaz brutally ‘separating’ the fighting individuals and Gil somehow not getting fired by diverting all blame to the kids’ parents/video games/Marty Moon? For those still on the fence, it would have the added benefit of seeing all the annoying jocks bloodily beaten at some point in each plotline.” –Drew Funk

“Reading Mary Worth today, I was struck with a compulsion to adapt this storyline into a parody of the Beatles’ ‘Doctor Robert,’ for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, I’m still a young man with hopes and dreams, and none of them involve spending more than thirty seconds of mental energy a day contemplating Mary Worth.” –Snuggs

“Tacos are ‘wraps,’ now. I guess the young folks call crepes ‘flats’ and biscuits ‘sports’ and tea ‘gerzzle’ and cars ‘hoot-a-root yer uncle Bob.'” –Jumper

“I feel for ol’ Number One in panel one of Gil Thorp. There he is, drowning in adolescent confusion as he laces up, his eyes dashing back and forth from the hetero-eroticism plastered on his locker door to the homo-eroticism 15 degrees to left, when BAM! — his gesticulating captain thoughtlessly whacks him in the side of his head. Suddenly aware that he’s part of the scene he’d been ignoring, he rapidly bends over to hide his boner from his teammates.” –Edgy DC

“When Mary Worth ‘turns on the charm,’ she literally reaches up and flicks a switch behind her right ear.” –Perky Bird

“Whoa! Whoa! What happened to Bonnie? It looks like Doctor Roberts has sawed off her credit card hand and she’s still weak legged from the anesthesia. ‘What about YOU Dr. Roberts? Each day hundreds of physicians are confronted with lawsuits. Do you have the emotional and financial reserves to withstand this onslaught? Do you like tan glop? What are you doing tomorrow evening?'” –mustang

“Books? Pluggers don’t have time for that sort of east-coast intellectualism! Pluggers go to the public library because it’s the only place in town that still rents VHS tapes.” –Andy L

“I’d just like to know why Spidey is posing like that as he cracks wise. ‘In some nutty way, I guess I win! By the way, what do you think of my new bikini?'” –Luprand

“It took 3 years after Hart’s death for BC to succumb to the icy grip of Bolshevism! Next thing you know, the whole strip will be poster-style images of cavemen casting off their chains, and rejecting whimsical daily gags in favor of a harsh, unflinching Soviet realism, in celebration of the poverty and suffering which redeems us. So … it’ll basically be Funky Winkerbean, I guess is what I’m saying.” –Dan

“I don’t share your ethical concerns. The way I see it, we aren’t breaking into Margo’s apartment — we’re just breaking into Tommie and Lu Ann’s apartment. By the way, how would you like a handy stethoscope and some kitschy greeting cards?” –seismic-2

“‘Well, if you know somebody who’s right for me…’ Perhaps a service animal to help you for this grand mal seizure you seem to be having.” –LogopolisMike

“Oh yeah, that’s right, Mr. Wilson used to be a mailman. Except for a few years in the seventies, when he was Augusto Pinochet.” –Ktrout

“That is some well-groomed facial hair that Aristotle is rocking. No way he’s not spending at least 30-45 minutes a day combing that bastard.” –Grump

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we could be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Completing my Monday evening lightning round blogging, I give you your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Lu Ann is trying to decide if kidnapping Margo’s fiancé, tying him up in the closet, and faking his death in Asia counts as ‘boyfriend stealing.’ Give her a moment.” –Black Drazon

And the almost-as-hilarious runners up!

“This can only end with Sassy trapped in a well.” –Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™

“Glad to see that Herb and Jamaal made that vital leap from AOL to Hotmail, proving that they are always at least five years behind the most popular Internet program. Can’t wait until the 2015 version of the strip that tells us to visit the Herb and Jamaal Facebook page.” –Taquelli

“Come on, there is no way Lu Ann would be able to refrain from verbalizing her every thought, Spider-Man style.” –Steve S

“Wait, come back! You didn’t pay your bill!” –Calico

Re: Spider-Man: “The fact that the [comic book] is pretty good only serves to make newspaper Spider-Man worse. It’s a bit like if they made the New Testament into a newspaper strip, and it was Ziggy.” –Push Trot

“As a dog owner, I know that the best way to deal with a runaway dog is to stand in the doorway and try to reason with it.” –Iconoclast

“Luann’s mother clearly needs to be blitzed out of her mind to deal with her daughter in any way, shape, or form. This makes her the closest thing in the strip to an audience surrogate.” –Dragon of Life

“Why would anyone tell a young person, ‘Why do you feel the need to be romantic toward anyone?’ Maybe because I’m fueled by raging hormones, you lifeless, spirit-crushing robot. Her track goes somewhere: straight into the void where her soul should be.” –Joike

“Only in the world of Jack Elrod does one find a vet so dispassionate that he merely comments on a pup’s sure death as the collar-less stray runs off into Big City traffic. Mark’s next Sunday InfoStrip nugget: ‘Many veterinarians are avid taxidermists!'” –Bennui

“You’re a plugger if you think diabetes is a myth invented by lettuce farmers.” –mustang

“I wouldn’t be so sure that Bonnie has her shopping habit under control, considering that she just stopped to purchase a liter of blood.” –BigTed

“And I have good news about Ernie! He died in a car crash near the Aldo Memorial Crevasse while he was fleeing our loveless marriage! I can shop all I want, now!” –Snuggs

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we might be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.