Real comics coming shortly, but a couple of points of interest in a rare midweek metapost:
I got interviewed by New Yorker cartoonist Zach Kanin for the New Yorker cartoon blog! Our discussion, which naturally came ’round to the soap opera strips, seems to have inspired Zach to do his own take on the genre.
Speaking of soap strips, several locals have contacted me for my opinion on the latest comics purge in the Baltimore Sun, which has jettisoned those soaps that survived the previous purge (A3G, RMMD, and the Phantom) and compacted everything onto a single page. I long ago migrated completely to the Houston Chronicle for all my comics-reading needs, and now read the Sun only for its hard-hitting coverage of local public transit failures and fur-coat related mayoral scandals, but if I had a 40 handy I would pour a bit out on the curb in memory of the glorious Sun comics page that once was. When I first moved to Baltimore in 2002, the comics occupied two full, glorious pages, and the local paper’s collection served as my introduction to most of the soapers that I cover on this site. It’s pretty safe to say that if I had arrived in town just a couple of years later, when most had been jettisoned, this blog would not exist. Newspaper editors will tell you that monkeying with the comics pages gets a huge reaction from readers, and I’m baffled on why they can’t make some money off of that passion. Put the damn things in a separate insert and pump it full of more ads than a NASCAR race, but do something other than just cutting.
Oh, there’s always something to go with your COTW post, now isn’t there? This week, we have a fabulous report from another Comics Curmudgeon get-together, this one featuring a visitor all the way from JAPAN! Crazy! I’ll let faithful reader willethompson tell the tale…
John Shelton Reed said “Every time I look at Atlanta I see what a quarter million Confederate soldiers died to prevent.” He said that BEFORE I-85 went to 12 lanes (permanently under repair) all the way to Lawrenceville. But I braved it all to see True Fable, Squid Countess, Trotzenbonnie, and ChattyGenes and her puppets.
From left: ChattyGenes (visiting from Japan!), Squid Countess, willethompson (standing), True Fable, Trotzenbonnie
The Old Spaghetti Factory is located on Ponce de Leon, a street that was the center of a down-at-the-heels (aka Southern Bohemian) neighborhood that is being gentrified as the Bank of America tower glowers down on it. OSF is one of those places that manufactures atmosphere, or at least buys it by the truckload. Brass and tulip-shaped light fixtures fight with a faux streetcar for your visual attention in large, noisy rooms.
I wandered in about 12:30 and met TF and his boys (two INCREDIBLY nice young men) helping CG set up the puppet show in a corner of a downstairs room. Knowing that TF couldn’t drink, I was perhaps cruel in fetching a locally-brewed Sweetwater 420 but it was not without incident. An unattended bar? In ATLANTA? On a Saturday afternoon?? If he knew who I had to fuck to get that beer, I think he’d forgive me.
Trotz arrived next, with her sheepdog Miss Mollie (looking stunning in a pink ribbon) and Mr. T (looking stunning in a green T-shirt) who excused themselves to sample the pleasures of Piedmont Park. Squiddy was delayed by construction on I-75 (see: John Shelton Reed above), so we ate as ChattyGenes looked on, not wanting a load of pasta to interfere with her performance energy.
And yes, she fought the background noise of a teenage girl’s birthday party to deliver a sublime 50-minute puppet show with five featured characters (and two backup sheep) tailored to a very select audience (Hey, gh! She had you! And Big Sims, too!). AND she brought presents for all!! AND AND even some of the birthday party attendees came over to watch!!! Take a hike, Cyndi Lauper, we gotcher performance art right HERE!
All in all, a fine time was had by all in placing faces with screen names. As TF said, it was like CC but in real time. The only downside was a waitstaff that couldn’t seem to remember that TF’s boys had ordered Cokes. In Atlanta? Gotalmightdamn, they squeeze the stuff fresh daily just down the street!! What, they had transported it all to Beijing to fight the air pollution???
There are few things that tickle me more than knowing that the humble Website I churn out in my pajamas at odd ours of night has brought people together in real life who otherwise would never have met! Don’t forget that you can arrange your very own meetup on the Comics Curmudgeon Forums!
Also of note from my in-box this week was this find from faithful reader Matt K. in Brooklyn, who has solved a mystery that has been bedeviling the DeGroot parents: where their boarder gets his money. “I saw this ad while flipping through the latest Timeout NY and immediately thought of TJ. Classy job.”
And finally, for everyone who was despairing that Captain Thunder’s brilliant Dennis the Menace-based Regency pastiche had run out of steam — fear not! The Luck of Dennis St. Michel, Viscount Stokington is back, and better than ever!
And with that out of the way, it’s finally — finally! — time for your comment of the week.
“What does John think a ‘simple wedding’ means? Boxers and a trucker hat? Sorry but YOU STILL HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES.” –psychobiddy
“Now at Six Flags: The Mary Worth Roller Coaster! They strap you in and the cars just sit there for all eternity.” –Calico says
“We all know that Toni’s getting it, but clearly not from Brad. I’m surprised Brad doesn’t wear his black concert t-shirt from the ‘Monsters of Abstinence’ tour.” –trey le parc
“A Southern teacher should, however, definitely know better than to wear blackface into the classroom. Her attempts to appear old enough to remember when minstrel shows were not considered offensive will not save her from community ire — unless, of course, the community is made up entirely of pubescent boys. In that case she can basically wear a Klan hood, as long as the costume doesn’t extend below her neck.” –Bad at Net Handles
“Judging by the beady-eyed look of horror from the concessions worker, I think the ‘gold’ in question is a reference to the several inches of liquid butter at the bottom of the bucket, which this plugger bear is shown pawing at, reminiscent of Winnie the Pooh gorging himself on a pot of honey. The difference of course being that Pooh died from complications due to his type II diabetes. Plugger bear here, though he likely suffers from hypoglycemia if not full-blown diabetes, is probably going to go out from a massive coronary during the movie.” –Colinski
“So is Mary Worth always like this: picking an interesting issue, building up to it by way of weeks of intense boredom, and then ending without any kind of interesting climax whatsoever? It’s like digging for treasure and finding only my own grave.” –Amanda
“I guess since pain and human suffering are timeless it doesn’t really matter when FW occurs.” –CortJstr, on the chronological implications of Funky Winkerbeans timejump
“I see Michael married a gal just like the gal that married dear old dad: an impatient rageaholic.” –Hank
“Dear God, what life must Toeby have had before meeting Ian that the purchase of a documentary would cause such excitement? I’m almost afraid of the day she gets a library card.” –Dingo
“The craziest thing about this Mark Trail is how plausible it is. I totally believe that Mark would give this long dissertation about fleas aloud in a stentorian voice when his only ‘audience’ consists of his dog and some terrified squirrels.” –Joe Blevins
Those of you who put cash in the tip jar are to be thanked and praised! As are our advertisers:
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So, your COTW is coming in a moment, but there is a truly EPIC amount of material from faithful readers and others to wade through before we get to it. We must begin with the Web site that has the entire Mary Worth-reading community buzzing: Enormoushop.com. It’s where Toby shops for second-rate birthday gifts for her third-rate husband, and now you too can enjoy the savings at the Internet’s most enormous shop! I have no idea whatsoever who created this brilliant thing — please stand up and take a bow, sir or madam!
Next! You might recall the Protectors of the Earth video I posted a while back, in which Mary Worth, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, and Garfield join forces to fight crime! Have you been patiently waiting for a part two? Well, your wait is now over!
These videos are the product of a newly-moved-to-LA comedy collective called Your Girlfriend.
And! Speaking of funny YouTube videos, I have been remiss in not drawing your attention to faithful reader Dingo’s fantastic “Mary Worth: Dancing Queen.” Watch it with someone you love!
In addition! Longtime readers may be wondering whatever happened to Lucky the Beaver, the wayward semi-aquatic rodent who got caught in a trap, was nursed back to health by Mark Trail’s ward Rusty, released back into the wild, found true love with a lady beaver, then was menaced by some mustachioed ne’er-do-well before earning his respect. Last we saw, he had knocked up his beavermomma, and it was open to question how he was going to support his growing family. Well, faithful reader gnome de blog just found the answer, and it ain’t pretty.
Also! What would an excessively long COTW post be without some shameless merchandise promotion? Here we have faithful reader AMSTERDANG, sporting a THE URGE shirt. (His URGE involves eating s’mores, apparently.)
These shirts came out just before Al Scaduto passed away, so I haven’t really been promoting them much, but perhaps they provide a good way to remember the good times. The visible stains are, I hope, the fault of AMSTERDANG and not of CafePress. (If you’re a new reader and have no idea what this is about, I urge you to peruse the They’ll Do It Every Time archive post-haste!)
And finally! Faithful reader commodorejohn has set Mary Worth’s favorite aphorisms to music! Enjoy the funk genius of Mary Worth Told Me To.
And now, after all that jibber-jabber, it’s the comment of the week!
“You want excitement? Try counting how many different necklines Toby’s top has had since Monday. I count four.” –flodnak
“You know, a detective is as great as the foes he defeats. Sherlock had Moriarty, and apparently Slylock has the most petty criminals with the lowest IQ. Way to keep your standards low, Slylock.” –Foolster41
“Also, Cathy is offering a week(s?)-long object lesson in why we shouldn’t necessarily be too annoyed at Herb and Jamaal’s notorious nonspecificity. Or, if I can put that another way, Cathy: Shut the fuck up about the Prius already.” –One-eyed Wolfdog
“‘Paperwork’ = Forging the signature on the consent form to medically castrate Jeff.” –Tweeks_Coffee
“Hoo! I’m gonna hafta say April’s lingo an’ hairstyle are creeping me out.” –Moss_Moses
“Toby seems to be browsing in the “Documentaries About Other Countries” section (which includes such blockbusters as England, Japan, China, Italia…) So that movie on the far right in panel 2 is probably supposed to say Greece. But I prefer to assume that someone has mistakenly shelved the 1950s-nostalgia musical Grease in this section. Clearly that is what Toby should buy her husband. Ian would have a blast pointing out its inadequacies, while secretly thrilling to songs like ‘Summer Lovin.'” –Mollie
“‘Now let’s see if they sell my husband’s desired DVD.’ Damn, Toby, you need to start talking out loud. Thinking your words doesn’t seem to be working for you.” —WeaselBoy
“This is, of course, buildup to the epic scene where Grandma has a heart attack and her grandkids, despite her repeated cries for aspirin and an ambulance, stand around hugging her.” –Mariko
“I’m waiting for Eric to realize he’s spent the last few months at the Morocco Pavilion at Epcot in Orlando instead of Lhasa, Tibet. ‘Gone? Gone where?!’ ‘Who can say? Maybe he’s taking his break in the employee lounge.'” –Duckman30
Mary Worth: “I’d go to the ends of the earth for my man, and if not the ends of the earth, I’ll at least plunk my perfect ass down in front of my computer to order up that deadly dull documentary I’m fixated on.” –nomoho
“Is ‘mother of the bride’ the same as ‘shoplifted from a rummage sale’?” –dale
Special thanks to those who put money in my tip jar — you true heroes know who you are! And we gotta give some love to the advertisers:
TV Funhouse: The best Comedy Central show you’ve never seen! Featuring tons of dirty cartoons and the Anipals. Buy the DVD July 22nd!
Hip & Handmade!: They specialize in cute! Shop ShanaLogic.com for handmade jewelry, hot apparel, gear for guys, unusual plushes, and more!
To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.
