Post Content

Your COTW coming soon, but first: ITEMS! First up we have this stunning cache of Gil Thorp books discovered by faithful reader knittaplease at her local used bookstore:

I am so delighted that one of these volumes is entitled simply Sheesh! that I feel churlish in expressing my wonder that at least three volumes could be filled with Gil Thorp material deemed to qualify as “best.”

Also! I got this charming note from faithful reader Allison!

I thought you might like this Family Circus stuff I found. It’s a book and tape set with the kids singing in English and in French about going to get groceries and flying in the sky with birds. I used to listen to this tape and play my Family Circus computer game all the time when I was a kid but it’s funny how they’re even more entertaining as an adult. The game gave you a tour of their house and explained how washing machines and electronics work, probably very useful for anyone trying to break into the compound.

The Keanes teaching you a foreign, non-English language? Quelle horreur! Allison sent several scans from the book; this one, from a birthday party, is my favorite, because, as she put it, “The parents’ looks of despair are the best.”

And, finally: would you like to buy Ziggy’s munch box? Of course you would! (Thanks to faithful reader Aging Hipster for the tip.)

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I didn’t notice Delilah’s all-purple outfit in the prior strip. I wonder if she thinks that’s what ‘matching’ means.” –Carly

And your runners-up! A ton of them this week, but Charley sure seemed to solicit some comedy gold.

“Maybe Delilah will blindly stumble into Charley’s bathroom and become ever more horrified when she’s told what the toilet is for and how it works: ‘What, in the HOUSE? EWW!'” –Ed Dravecky

“So Delilah is horrified at the sight of a nude woman, and horrified at the notion of not having children. She does know where babies come from, doesn’t she?” –Flummoxicated

“Secret twist revealed tomorrow: Del has no idea what he means.” –Dragon of Life

MT: “Mark: ‘He’s no good to them dead.’ Sue: ‘So why didn’t they kill you? Wouldn’t that have solved the whole problem?’ Mark: ‘I … uh …’ *punch!*” –Hogenmogen

“I’ve seen a lot of shocking art in my life, but unless the woman in the photo is shooting boiling oil out of her hoo-hoo, I doubt anyone would be actually scarred. Maybe if the frame had a really sharp edge and you bumped into it.” –Old School Allie Cat

“Herb & Jamaal is treading on dangerous waters, today. My first impression of the strip lead to a gay joke, just like every H&J. But then I noticed something: Laurel and Hardy is an awfully contemporary reference.” –zamros

“I’m pretty sure that Charlie has a REALDOLL tied up in Japanese rope bondage. I guess that would creep me out. Then again, in Luann there’s a troll forcing a teenage girl into cosplay.” –DeGroot of All Evil

“The picture on Charley’s wall is a blow-up of an A3G panel from last year, showing Lu Ann working in her art studio. Delilah recoils in horror after seeing Lu Ann’s abysmal flower paintings.” –AhClem

“This is Mary Worth. Everyone is insane in an incredibly square way.” –commodorejohn

“Knowing this strip we’ll have weeks of details of Wally captive in his cave — ‘There were times I pretended to have cancer, just to remind me of home.'” –Professor Fate

“I would prefer to believe instead that the Legionnaire turns away in disgust because he has realized that the sort of man who uses Pick-Up Lines to Get Women to get women is — or soon becomes — the sort of man who will talk about a woman, in her presence, as if she were a fish. He is stepping back from the brink of the abyss of loutishness into which the librarian has plunged.” –Q. Pheevr

“Nah, if Charley were slipping Delilah a roofie, we would have seen him very obviously sneak it out of wherever he kept it, plunk it into the drink, and mix it up, glancing back and forth as he did so at Delilah, who would be looking on obliviously. He would have followed up this particular villainy by rubbing his hands together and cackling with glee, and possibly spontaneously growing a Snidely Whiplash-esque mustache, so he could twirl it.” –Nomstrosity

“Once again, Ms. Buxley’s hopes are dashed. In this case, her hopes of being randomly proposed to by a skeezy guy she’s not dating. Really, though, isn’t that every girl’s dream?” –Evan

“Delilah plans to determine whether the unpleasant discolorations on the couch are semen or blood stains, by testing whether they can be removed with club soda. Depending on the answer, she will then decide whether to stay or leave. Adultery is hard work!” –DaveyK

“And as morals decay, Luann will eventually devolve into a series of plotless panels featuring nude underage girls lounging against one another. Of the men, nothing will remain but Brad’s tuft of hair and T.J.’s disembodied teeth.” –Cranky

“[Charley] shows great responsibility in not wanting to have children, thus assuring that the freakish combination of DNA that makes him look like the love child of Steve Buscemi and the Joker will remain out of the gene pool. Delilah, meanwhile, wants to inflict her strange, putty-like features on future generations. Who’s the real bad guy here?” –TheDiva

“When did Jack Chick start drawing the strip? ‘After we finish these drinks, why don’t we denounce Christ?'” –Dan Traut

“So let me get this straight … now that Mark Trail is in an actual toxic waste dump, there’s absolutely NO giant mutant squirrels to cut to in the 2nd panel?” –lunarhalo

“I’m seriously hoping that tomorrow, Mark Trail will feature a ‘Meanwhile…’ narration box and various scenes of Andy’s competence: Andy tracking the assassin (what do you call a guy who only shoots to wound?), confronting him, and chaining him to a log for the authorities to pick up later; Andy leading the EPA waste-disposal folks to the dump site; Andy directing the backhoe with his paws as it beeps beeps beeps into place to pick up the drums. All this will happen, of course, as Mark walks in the door of the hive-cabin and says to Cherry, ‘Where’s Andy?'” –buckyswife

“I like the range of emotions Del gets to express from one strip to the next, often without any kind of segue to guide the reader through her inner turmoil. First eagerly flirtatious, then horrified, and now cautiously optimistic. With any luck, the coming days will bring us rage, whimsy, despair, and finally avuncularity.” –Dan

“This strip affords us a wonderful opportunity to simply gaze at Mark Trail’s magnificent haircut and greasepaint eyebrows. He makes Superman look like some kind of damned dirty hippie in comparison.” –Joe Blevins

“Would Andy’s helping Mark Trail double the IQ of the team looking for the shooter, or is this one of those multiplication by zero problems?” –NoahSnark

“How does Charley drink? Is there a slot in his chin so that his maniacal smile is not disturbed?” –Dingo

“Curtis: I know it’s been said before, but can we skip to the part where he takes a sharpened brooch pin to his eyes?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Margo hears the ‘BRRROOOOM’ sound and immediately tunes out the rest of the boring himalaya-lama hooey, preoccupied with trying to remember whether she included ‘Sweep apartment’ on the yard-long list of orders, decrees, and miscellaneous directives she left on the fridge for Tommie.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“I suppose Marty is going to blame Gil for his missing eyes, too. Suck it up, kid!” –Elliegal

“MW: Wow. I knew the strip was in full-blown character assassination mode, but I wasn’t expected this level of horror. Forget tetanus, that leer is no longer human. It looks less like a leer and more like he’s trying to cut his head in two using only the muscles in his face.” –Brickers

“I love how Charley insists on punctuating even the most innocuous of conversations with a flagrant leer. ‘Why, Charley, what lovely guppies!’ ‘Oh, yeah? Well, if you dig those, baby, you oughta check out my (wink wink) neon tetras.'” –Violet

“MT: ‘See you later, honey! I’m going to track a sniper!’ God, I love this family.” –Chromium

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Camp Swampy is a pansexual B&D military fetish camp for the ultra-rich and NOT affiliated with the DoD. Miss Buxley will take your credit card information in the ‘General’s Office.'” –AeroSquid

“If readers of Cathy now know about Facebook, it’s all over. I say we beat a desperate retreat to MySpace, and hide in that HTML-littered wasteland of sexual predators, fake profiles from the Philippines, and preteen rexies who claim to be 18. If they find us there, it will be our Masada.” –teddytoad

“Of course, Margo doesn’t listen to a word anyone dressed in such odd clothes says, assuming it’s all gibberish anyway, but she does realize no-one’s said anything about her in the last five minutes, and that makes her sad. It will soon enough turn to anger.” –Donald the Anarchist

If you put some cash into my tip jar, I promise to invite you to my apartment and show you my “collectable” art! And thanks must go to my advertisers:

• Custom clogs on sale!: Multnomah Leather Shop clogs on sale! We make our clogs with leather and leather lining to fit your feet in 13 different styles and over 30 colors. Visit our website or call 503-227-4887.
• Slacker Heaven: Free games, pics, and videos. I haz zee funny!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

Post Content

Pardon me for interrupting this magical trip to Charley’s sex palace, but I do want to briefly feature several items that may be of interest to you, because I wrote them! First, and perhaps most exciting, is a new thing I’m doing for Newsweek’s Human Condition blog! It’s called “MediCinema” and can best be described as “like the Comics Curmudgeon, except for prescription drug ads.” Check it out! It could be a one-off thing or it could be a regular feature, depending on its reception, so receive it well, please!

Also! I wrote a couple of possible interesting things for ITworld.com yesterday — one about funny error messages going public by mistake and one about techies changing jobs to flee from terrible tools. Check ’em out, if you’re into that sort of thing!

Finally, to prove that it isn’t all about me — for those of you who need more detail on the whole Marty DeJong backstory in Gil Thorp, turn to the incomparable This Week In Milford blog, which has a good summary and links to the DeJong-related comics from 2003 (with special appearances from a young Brent Raptor). Turns out Gil sort-of-but-not-really advised Marty to skip college and head for pro baseball. How’d that work out? Not well, as apparently a modern high school education doesn’t even prepare you to be a decent arsonist.

Post Content

COTW coming momentarily, but first, a fun link from faithful reader CK! Comic artist R. Sikoryak has put a book of classic tales imagined in the style of various comic artists! You’ll enjoy the whole thing, but you’ll particularly want to move forward to page three to see role Mary Worth was born to play: Lady MacBeth.

And now, the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“The damage this week’s Luann is going to do to countless naive teenage boys is almost unbear — wait, I forgot teenage boys would rather swallow a bottle rocket than read Luann. You dodged a bullet there, little friends.” –Marion Delgado

And the many runners up! Very funny!

“I like how Archie is envisioning changing into a long-sleeve shirt before he punches Reggie in the face. Though perhaps it’s not Archie at all, but Mark Trail making a crossover appearance. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pictured Mark getting all punchy on someone who’s pissed me off. Well, actually I never have, but I probably will now.” –kevinbapp.com

“MW: I can’t really see where this story is going, apart from an increasingly bizarre series of spontaneous walks.” –Mooncattie

“The Dalai Lama wishes to give you a blessing, Margo. And by ‘blessing’, I of course mean ‘exorcism’.” –seismic-2

“Next week, in a very special Apartment 3-G, Margo grabs the Dalai Lama by the balls and yells in his face for six straight days.” –Lolsworth

“Exactly what kind of ‘story book‘ is Connie talking about here, The Soporific Non-Adventure of the College Acquaintances Who Eventually Became Neighbors and Made Desultory Conversation While Watching Their Kids Not Play in the Park? Sometimes ‘gripping’ seems like such an inadequate word.” –Violet

“I did nature programs at a summer camp for a few years, and I never saw kids standing around outside with expressions quite like that. Are they on wee little downers, or what?” –Poteet

“I plan to keep on reading Mark Trail no matter WHAT happens.” –True Fable

“It bothers me that characters in Judge Parker are constantly shrouded in mysterious and dramatic shadows while they say and do utterly mundane things. Meanwhile, the characters in Gil Thorp are invariably well-lit, despite their totally incomprehensible behavior.” –Trilobite

“Oh, Gil Thorp! How I love your giant manly knuckles, and your large slablike faces and guyish locks of hair falling over intense mysterious sunglassed eyes while you speak in deep tones of incomprehensible things! Oh my. I need to sit down.” –Bootsy

“Dear Lord! It’s 2019! ’Shaft should be hooked up to fully immersed VR Porn simulation until his kidneys and spleen give out! Please give him an honorable death!” –AeroSquid

“‘Unofficial P.I. Bob Kazinski gets to work’ is the greatest intro ever, assuming that you’re cool with ‘getting to work’ meaning ‘asking your unofficial client an awkward question’ and ‘leaping to an unjustified conclusion from said question and relating it to Kelly.'” –Cranky

“I just can’t look away from the Ringo the Ringmaster’s sad, soulful eyes in Panel 1. You can tell he didn’t think his life would turn out this way. He didn’t want to get involved in circus-themed crime. He just wanted to make children smile, and now Dick Tracy is going to punch out his spleen, shove it down his throat, and throw him into the tiger cage.” –Comrade Denny

“Kaz is so baked. Next he’ll be calling athletic supply companies: ‘Did somebody order a lot of balls? Like … a lot of them?'” –Donald The Anarchist

“There are three suspicious people with baseballs down at the county park. They’re easy to recognize as they have no facial features.” –zerowolf

“That’ll take care of any evidence I left behind! Now to walk back to the city on foot with a sniper rifle.” –Dagger

“And here I was, left without anything to bring my friend to her suicide party. A Ziggy cake will work great!” –Ista

“I figured out why Cindy looks twenty years younger than her decrepit peers. She escaped Westview years ago and thus no longer eats Montoni’s Pizza every single day. Maybe she even occasionally eats a vegetable that is not an oil-drenched topping.” –anty a

“Nothing ever sounds less stilted in the original German.” –Packherd

“I can’t believe Kaz keeps letting ‘Gil’s balls’ fly past him without taking a double entendre swing at them. C’mon man: ‘Made any progress today, babe?’ ‘Big Time, Princess Leia. No professional has ever touched Gil’s balls.’ It’s fucking T-ball, dude.” –lunarhalo

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave/ Something something Delilah’s a skeeve.” –Sir Walter Greenback

“Mary Worth is making the classic mistake of dealing only with the popular half of a quote. ‘Oh, what a tangled web we weave … when we practice to deceive.’ Except Delilah’s not deceiving anyone. Not only does her ex-boyfriend know she’s married, but she practically announced to Mary and her husband that she’s about to go shtup the moron, and will undoubtedly break down and confess exactly 0.3 seconds after seeing Mary tomorrow morning. Really, the only thing this half-quote has accomplished was to make me picture Mary Worth as a multi-eyed, multi-limbed spider-human hybrid. Thanks for that, Sir Walter Scott. Thanks a lot.” –Black Drazon

“I believe Delilah’s raven hair signifies her status as a fallen woman in the Worth-iverse. In recent storylines, Mary Worth has interfered in the lives of vacant blondes (like that ice skater and the other one who was married to Santa Claus) whose light-colored hair signified their status as naive innocents. Mary’s own hair, of course, is perfectly white as she is without sin.” –Joe Blevins

“Our last night in the pass was bitter cold, which is why I was wearing a windbreaker over my turtleneck, just in case.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“The facial expression of Gil Thorp’s culprit betrays his intention to soon commit Seppuku. ‘I have brought shame upon my family! Quickly, hand me that letter opener!'” –Disingenuous Penguin

Huzzah to those who put some cash into my tip jar! And thanks must also go to my advertisers:

• Meet your meat: Watch the video that shows what you’re really eating for dinner. Want fries with that? Watch Now!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.