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Do you hate Mondays like Garfield hates Mondays, or like you hate Garfield? There’s no need for hatin’ now that Monday COTW day!

“Say what you will about Blaze, but it’s January 9th, so he must throw one hell of a New Years Eve party.” –man behind the curtain

And with each COTW, you get an array of several runners up!

“I was originally under the impression that ‘plugger’ was a sort of term of endearment and the point of the strip was for aging working-class folk to commune about their common ailments and idiosyncrasies, but I think the author has become jaded and now loathes these ‘pluggers’ — perhaps his income from his syndicated strip has allowed him to move up the socio-economic ladder to the point where he has forgotten his roots. Or maybe the pressure to meet the constant deadlines of a comic that runs daily has crushed his soul to the point where he must lash out at those who he now sees as the source of his constant torment. In any case, I expect we’ll start seeing future installments where the pluggers start to have targets and gun sight markers drawn over them as they are subject to increasingly bizarre Dante-esque horrors.” –Bobdog

“But besides that, it appears the main reason Mr. Lodge is so mad is because Archie is interrupting his get-high-and-play-bad-versions-of-Pink-Floyd-on-the-flat-guitar-while-wearing-a-gorilla-hair-sweater time.” –The Uncola

“Mr. Lodge’s sweater looks more like AstroTurf than anything else, but since he’s supposed to be rich I guess it would be something rarer — like the AstroTurf featured on the hit television series The Brady Bunch.” –Kelsey

“I’m starting to get a mental image of the women who patronize Ruby’s chain of hair salons, unable to hold their heads upright under the weight of all the bows.” –Darkefang

“Pibgorn: Why do I keep going to take a look when someone mentions this strip? It’s incomprehensible and I haven’t seen fairy boobies yet.” –UncleJeff

“I think Andrew’s ex has actually been brutally dismembered, then reassembled with an elaborate ball joint system so her friend (read: jealous murderer) can pose her like some ‘My First BFF’ doll. This not only explains the incredibly awkward sitting position, but also why her hand can only grip items like an action figure grips an accessory.” –Craig

“Uhm, I feel there should be a discussion of the bows in Ruby’s hair. Although I think all that really needs to be said is ‘ew.'” –ArbuckleLovesLyman

“I’m more and more concerned with the fact that every A3G comic strip features two people revolving around each other like they’re trapped in some sort of crazy video game boss fight level. I always picture them going into some sort of modern dance routine while making their comments, sliding limbs over furniture and playing around with the negative space. ‘No amount of the flooring will ever be trod on for too long!'” –Hasty Penguin

“New Year’s Eve occurs a little late in Apartment 3-G because the cartoonist needs to be certain that the idea of New Year’s Eve is fresh in the minds of the readers. If it actually fell on December 31, it would have been a whole year since the readers had last encountered the concept. Now it’s only a couple weeks ago, and some of them will remember it.” –Mr. Nice Guy

“Say what you will about Sunday’s [Hi and Lois], but realize this: the exact same plot would have served as the basis of at least two months of Mary Worth.” –Hank

But that’s not all! You also get these fine sponsors to this operation:

• Days of Industry: The new blog that, according to Tire Manufacturing Quarterly, offers “an uneasy mix of flouride conspiracy theories and reviews of films like 1986’s Youngblood, featuring Keanu Reeves in a memorable turn as a French-Canadian hockey player.”
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Hey, everyone, new comics soon-ish, but here’s a couple of things that I’ve been meaning to link to.

• Gil Thorp aficionados are all well aware of faithful reader Jason Beattie’s This Week In Milford blog. Polls are now open there for best panels of 2007! All your favorites from last year are there — self-clubbing Tyler! Gail Martin! Gil orders a hit! If these are the best, I’m really looking forward to seeing the worst.
• Speaking of single-strip blogs, a few weeks ago faithful reader Dan sent me a link to his effort, Understanding Judge Parker. It might be better titled “Creating Fascinating But Inscrutable Art By Combining Judge Parker With Other Comics”, but it’s still pretty great!
• UPDATE: I almost forgot, I got the following e-mail the other day from Clifford Meth: “I am helping [recently deceased comic book artist] Dave Cockrum’s widow Paty sell off Dave’s personal comics collection — Golden and Silver Age books, his X-Men file copies, etc. Please be kind enough to mention this at your blog and share the news with others.” Done! Check out the details.

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Well, Keg of Curd has had a good 18-day run, but it’s finally time to crown a new comment of the week!

“Having moved as far as possible from menace, Dennis is now distancing himself from making sense, giving us this baffling nugget of Family Circus-grade confusion. Snowballs are free? Compared to what? Other roughly palm-sized objects that you throw at people?” –Rhekarid

And the runners-up! So funny!

“You know, I’ve been thinking about this recent Mark Trail storyline, and how the ‘small cigars’ played a major part. I just wish that there existed some diminutive by which we could refer to these small cigars … perhaps ‘cigar-ling’ … or ‘cigar-ina’ … or possibly even ‘cigar-ette.'” –Mariko

“Has anyone noticed the FOOB website is down? Did it collapse under the weight of its own desperation?” –Mir777

“I always appreciate the Kwanzaa story for both the insanity and of course the life lesson. While I’m absolutely amazed by the insanity of this year’s gem, I’m relatively certain that the lesson — don’t leave your pregnant buffalo-wife alone after stealing from a two-headed snake — doesn’t apply to most people.” –rhymes with puck

“Damn you, April. Damn you for having what I want: bangs tousled just so by the awkward breath of teenage angst, trying to guilt you into awkward sex.” –kitty

“Does Margo seriously believe people drink champagne to quench thirst? I think this might explain something about her.” –fluffy

“‘And after champagne, who’s going to the chiropractor after screwing up their neck?’ ‘I AM!'” –Fireball

“So Eric’s leaving for China, leaving his gallery in the hands of a manager with a single day of training and a short attention span, plus a guy who’s probably in the supply closet right now, huffing paint fumes and airplane glue. My guess is that the gallery has been hemorrhaging money and this is a convoluted plan to collect a surprisingly large insurance settlement.” –Darkefang

“I can buy that Lu Ann in hypoxia paints better than Alan drunk off his ass, but I think that’s more than balanced out by the fact that, sober or drunken, Alan can think in sentences and count money and stuff. True love waits!” –Dr Marion

“Abbey’s blacked-out face is a visual representation of her state of mind before what she’s come to refer to in her own mind as simply ‘it.'” –Nate

“I hate long goodbyes … therefore, our imminent lovemaking will be confused, frenzied, and brief.” –Hubris

[In response to Hubris’s comment above]: “Also known as ‘doin’ it Gil Thorp style.'” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I wish tomorrow’s panel would feature Slylock and Cassandra, sharing the bath and a Max sandwich. And I don’t mean the threesome type. I mean the really slice up the little bastard and eat him type.” –McManx

“I think Reeky Rat perfectly symbolizes man’s insatiable desire for self-betterment. Clearly he’s fighting an unwinnable war against his own revolting stench, but there he is, in the shower, trying to scrub off the repugnant hand life has dealt him and give himself the chance to ascend to a higher stratus of society, albeit through a life of crime, deception, and ill-fated schemery. ‘Get me a towel!’ he shouts jubilantly, ‘Everything’s comin’ up Reeky!'” –Stupendous Girl

“You know, I really wish FBOFW would spend some time letting us know how the characters feel about the way their lives change over time and to do so with either long, drawn-out exposition or with short, witty zingers to which we may or may not be able to relate.” –PeteMoss

And our advertisers! Thanks must be given!

• Days of Industry: Faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Hungarian Great Bela Tarr informs us that he is representing the estate of a Nigerian crown prince whose dying wish was to disseminate his sizable fortune among fellow aficionados of his favorite comic strip, Mark Trail. To secure your own personal $450,000 windfall, you need only submit your credit card information and Social Security Number to the Nigerian Royal Exchequer. You can do so at the new politics/pop culture blog, Days of Industry. (Once on the site, click on the marginal link labeled “Lago$ Windfall.”) As a further incentive to collect this payout, every visitor to Days of Industry will receive a complimentary SpyStealer software package. No installation required; just click on the link, and the SpyStealer program will be installed on your computer for good!
• Are you a sucker?: Embrace the darkness or seek a lighter vein at ErinMcCarthy.net.
• Have a Handmade Holiday!: Give the hottest handmade gifts this year! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!
• Evermore: A novel of the Darkyn: A willing sacrifice. An enduring bond. An unimaginable end.

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