Archive: metaposts

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We’ve got some running around to do this afternoon; I’m hoping to get Sunday’s strips up tonight, but, in case I don’t, I thought I’d get the CsOTW out of the way now. Here’s the top comment, which just about sums up the week’s drama.

“Remember the world before the Internet? I remember it as a time of innocence, when it would never occur to us that somewhere, someone is beating off to Slylock Fox.” –Rocky Jones

And here are the almost-made-its — a big list, this week.

“So really the nickname Clambake has little to do with an actual clambake and more to do with the fact that you can’t get him to shut up. One imagines that the people who gave him his not-all-that-meaningful moniker could have come up with something a little more accurate, like Gumflap or JesusChrist,SomeonePleaseHaveThisMan’sVocalChordsSurgicallyRemoved.” –Hannah

“If a saw-toothed hairdo guy in a Punisher t-shirt can hang with a purse-carrying kid wearing a bellhop hat, then why oh why can’t we all just get along?” –Trotzenbonnie

“Golly, if the words ‘come-hither expression’ don’t apply to the look on Jamaal’s face in the first panel, then I just don’t know what. But I wish they didn’t.” –Keg of Curd

“Like most of the recent FBoFW plotlines, the tale of Liz’s turn as a bridesmaid will be half drearily predictable bullshit and half character assassination. You’ll see the ultimate conclusion looming ominously from a mile away but will still be surprised at how unlikable the characters have become.” –Trilobite

“GODDAMMIT JUDGE PARKER IS STILL ON THAT ONE DAY” –Gabe

Beasley, I am ashamed of you. You are a government employee with a strong union backing. You should have responded as follows: ‘I save the special deliveries for your wife, you colic-haired mutant.’ And then when he swings at you, you mace him to suit your whimsy.” –Sunny Mel Blatherscythe

“Meanwhile, the squirrel reads the backstory blurb in utter disbelief. ‘Oh my paws!’ he cries, ‘In a single sentence they’ve summed up five weeks of this crazy strip.'” –Proteus

“I keep coming back for the coveralls that the villains must wear by law in Mark Trail. Not since the Cylons in the original Battlestar Galactica, with their ping-pong ball eye, has a villain had such a useless yet consistent prop.” –King Folderol

“My God, the only thing stiffer than the characters in Mark Trail is the dialogue — it’s like watching two mannequins attempt innuendo written by a five year old. I’d make a joke about the stiffness and Mark’s penis, but let’s face it: neither of those … things in this strip seem to have genitalia.” –GG

“What’s wrong, Tommie? You’re white as a sheet exactly the same skin tone as me!” –Josh Millard

“Gabriella is off her meds again. Tommie’s an angel for happening to work in a hospital, Alan’s an angel for — GASP! — having a key. Maybe the doctor’s a unicorn or something.” –commodorejohn

“If Shawna-Marie walks down the aisle to anything other than the theme from Car Wash, I will be bitterly disappointed.” –Dingo

“Hmf. A sandwich buffet for Shawna-Marie’s rehearsal dinner. The bride gets cream, but the coffee gets 2% from the Loeb’s on Bathurst.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Margo’s hair is perfect, but she’s got bedhand.” –Edgy DC

“Q. How many Clambakes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Why, back when I was in the Negro Leagues, the white players usedta sneak into our locker rooms and bust all the lightbulbs. But we wouldn’t let it get us down. We’d let our bats speak for us. It’s important to keep your eyes fixed on one socket and keep twisting, no matter what kind of lightbulbs life hands you. [The days of practice roll on … and so does the lightbulb story!] And remember when it seems darkest, just pull your head and keep doing it. Did I tell you about when I played with Sockless Bob Farlon and Red ‘Blue’ Green? I recall one time I ate a sandwich, and it was really good, but I didn’t know what was in it. ‘What’s in this sandwich?’ I asked everybody in the room. Folks called me ‘Sandwich’ for a while there. But back in 1952…” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“But Professor, if we wait till morning, maybe Lu Ann will be dead, and then I won’t have to go at all.” –flotsam

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So, uh … uh … well, just here it is DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU ARE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH WHATEVER FEELINGS IT WILL INSPIRE AND ARE NOT AT WORK

It’s incredibly detailed, I’ll just say that.

Update: Link removed at the request of (no, really) Slylock Fox artist Bob Weber, who was actually pretty cool about the whole thing. Get your rocks off elsewhere, Cassandra Cat lovers!

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Ack, for once I’ve missed my Sunday night COTW target. Let’s get to it before we start on the comics I’m behind on. Here’s this week’s top comment:

A3G: “‘Bad things happened here. I can feel it.’ Obviously, Gabriella has seen Lu Ann’s paintings.” –man behind the curtain

And runners-up!

“I thought it was fairly clear by now that Margo split her father’s forehead from the inside and emerged fully formed astride a chariot pulled by naked, nubile man-slaves. That ‘mother’ is a comically inept character actor she hired cheap from a failing production of The House of Bernarda Alba, and she’s been a bit sorry ever since, but not enough to sacrifice the cover and occasional inadvertent amusement she provides. Though if she ends up actually saving Lu Ann, my guess is it’ll be back to the shadowy realm of telenovela walk-ons and amateur psychic hotline-manning for her. No one saves that twit and gets away with it.” –SecretMargo

“What pisses me off is that Lynn, for some reason, thinks that this whole house-buying arc is somehow interesting in any way, shape, or form. I’m all for contrived melodrama if it’s crazy and ridiculous, but does anybody care about a fundamentally retarded family buying a house? … And even better, the backup story is an old man recovering from a stroke. WHEEEEEEE THE FUN NEVER STOPS IN CANADA” –ararrrar

“Abbey forgot to tell Sam the best part — that she just handed a check for $2.5 million to the bass player from Molly Hatchet.” –Squawk

“Rex is actually holding a crescent wrench in panel two, and when he’s done with Hugh’s bicycle, the subsequent traffic accident will show him how M.D.s deal out justice … hell yeah.” –Johnny Cat

“I wish we could see the reporters’ reaction after Cassandra’s ruse is exposed. ‘What, you mean whales aren’t fish?! No shit, Slylock! Hey, I’ve got another mystery I think you can solve. It’s called the Case of the Clobbered Cockblocker.'” –Piels

Dinnertime at the Morgan household is a festival of self-loathing and unspoken resentment. So basically, like the rest of their day, except with more food.” –Trilobite

“I like in MW that Charterstone’s garbage chute is big enough to stuff a body down without the awkwardness of having to chop it into pieces in the bathtub.” –NotThatGuy

“By any stretch of the English language, does ‘deep sleep him to the moon’ make any sense at all? It must be upsetting to get an urge that you can’t even visualize.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“And the best seat in a plugger’s house is perched precariously on what is probably a threadbare arm of the chair that is held on with duct tape? Pap-Paw seems to tolerate the young’un only because she is holding the bag of salty snacks.” –GotFuzzy

And some advertiser love!

  • Support indie artists at Shana Logic: Stylish gifts for you and the ones you love!
  • Joe’s Pub, NYC, presents ROFL!: The World’s First Internet Gong Show on Friday June 22nd! Featuring the Comics Curmudgeon, Josh Fruhlinger! (That’s me, y’all!) Plus Rocketboom’s Andrew Baron, Elisabeth Vincentelli of Time Out NY, Michelle Collins VH1’s Best Week Ever, and more!
  • Day Watch: Featuring the cinematic vision of cutting-edge director/writer Timur Bekmambetov, this is the second installment of a trilogy based on the best-selling sci-fi novels of Sergei Lukyanenko.
  • Take the shot and the clock starts ticking: Within 48 hours, you either gain extra-human abilities, or die. Will you take it?

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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