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The twentieth anniversary Comics Curmudgeon Fall Fundraiser is here!

Celebrate two decades of the daily comics mockery we’ve come to know and love. Contribute in the way that best suits your preferences and lifestyle:

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Click here for an index of links to legacy Comics Curmudgeon fundraising banners stretching all the way back to 2008. And thank you, generous reader!

–Uncle Lumpy

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FOLKS!!!! It is time for me, your faithful blogger, to take one of my occasional vacations from the comics and from this site, so you know what that means: your faithful guest blogger Uncle Lumpy will be guest blogging, starting tomorrow! And because only I have the authority to choose a best commenter from among you, I choose one today, whose COTW will stand the test of time until I return on September 22nd:

“I know people have been talking about how ‘disgusting’ and ‘disturbing’ the recent Six Chix is, but a bird with no pants on beaming at a possible cure for incontinence is what gives me the heebie-jeebies. (‘Roz won’t have to burn the seats I sit on anymore. Score!’)” –2+2=7

The runners up are also hilarious and worth your time!

“Wait a minute, narration box, you’re not supposed to use that about someone’s ex! ‘Ed is happily remembering the sex he had with Sheila, while lubriciously anticipating the sex he’s going to have with Estelle.’ That is … kind of a healthy attitude, maybe, but it’s not healthy to acknowledge it?” –matt w

“‘When do I get some rest?’ Mmm, I guess the other 16 hours Beetle is not sleeping on you! The bed is lazier than Beetle!” –Ettorre

“Estelle is a bit concerned. She’d been assuming Stylish Retired Schoolteacher was Ed’s type, but is he actually more into the Artsy Congresswoman aesthetic? Or has he put that behind him, one hopes?” –Violet

“Today’s Alice is very irresponsible. You can’t just ask newspaper readers to take the massive doses of psychoactive drugs needed to write Alice.” –Schroduck

“There’s a wonderful old hymn that I want played nice and loud at my funeral: ‘For all the saints, who from their labors rest…’ That ain’t a dream bubble and Alice ain’t organizing anyone, is what I’m getting at.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Sophie is smiling because she thinks the strip was cancelled and she can finally be free. But, like Sisyphus, her torment is repetitive and never-ending. Fall may have come to Judge Parker but the sweet winter of final release never will.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Only local and national news outlets? What’s the matter, AFP and Al Jazeera? Is high school football in some random American small town too real for your weak-hearted audience?” –jroggs

“She’s talking to me, isn’t she? Can she see me? I’m not dressed. Stop looking at me!” –Pozzo

“Everyone complained so much about Judge Parker plots being impossible to follow that they’ve resorted to explicitly stating when the current storyline is over. Now if they really want to be kind to their frazzled and confused readers, they’ll do like Gasoline Alley and let us have a nice little nap before the next story begins!” –Peanut Gallery

“Ha ha, imagine you had a roommate with dandruff so terrible that you were literally choking on it, and you couldn’t leave the small space you share together, and neither could he, and there was really nothing either of you could do about it and … guys, I don’t know if we should be keeping fish as pets.” –pugfuggly

“I do kinda appreciate Beetle Bailey stickin’ it to their demographic. Get with the times, gramps! I kid. They’re definitely on Facebook getting radicalized.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Now: ‘Look, please calm down, the police are on the scene and the FBI is on the way. We will find out what happened to this entire classroom of children but, if we had to bet, it’s Dennis’ fault.’

Before: ‘I don’t know, Dennis, but I know how we can find out! Let’s all get on the Magic School Bus and go to Lindisfarne in 793!’ Credit sequence, musical interlude, then screaming, burning, and finally silence broken only by the crash of the waves and the mournful call of the gull.” –Voshkod

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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As the seasons change, the comments of the week continue:

“Upon telling Estelle to take the reins, Ed was reminded of a horse he had to geld later this week. So much to do!” –Philip

As do the hilarious runners up!

“Ian as a silverback male gorilla and Toby as a marmoset are a natch but what about Mary? Do they make human sized wasp costumes?” –Hibbleton

“I appreciate how steadfastly Estelle wants an animal theme when Ed is all, ‘when I think about animals, all I think about is death.’ This might be the first emo wedding to feature lemurs.” –taig

“Well, Lois is being rude by not taking off her hat in the restaurant, so I’d say they’re even.” –Peanut Gallery

“The important thing is that the Flagstons are disrespected and everyone is unhappy! The emotional turmoil has caused Chip to literally regress to an eight-year-old, because the artists have forgotten that teenage boys usually aren’t a head shorter than their moms.” –matt w

“The wife’s problem will become clear when Ernie’s revealed as the ‘Choke ’em and Smoke ’em’ serial killer.” –Ken

“First today’s Pluggers made me contemplate mammaries on a bird, then I thought, shouldn’t Sheila Roo’s tits be inside of her pouch? Long story short, I’m in a dark place.” –nescio

“You’re a plugger if you always wished for a cleavage but you didn’t get it because, you know, you are a bird! But thanks to an entire generation of plastic surgeons raised on furry porn, your wish can come true!” –Ettorre

“Uh-oh. Looks like Truck’s fingers have become arthritic due to decades of masturbation. What? This is a ‘family paper’. Ok, it’s due to decades of [heavy finger quoting] ‘guitar playing’ then.”–2+2=7

“‘So send up our drones!’
‘Can’t, sir. They have some anti-drone technology.’
‘So deploy our anti-anti-drone tech!’
‘We tried. They’re using anti-anti-anti-drone fields!’
‘Cut though with our anti-anti-anti-anti-drone beams!’
‘No dice. They’re anti-anti-anti-anti-anti-drone shields are deflecting our anti-anti-anti-anti-drone beams!’
‘The deviousness. OK, can we launch our anti-anti…’
[Six weeks later]
‘…anti-anti-drone meerkats?’
”fraid not. They have anti-meerkat cobras in the field.’
‘Of course, but our anti-anti-meerkat-cobra-mongeese can surely handle that!’
‘Good thinking, chief!'” –Voshkod

“See I would have guessed that the next Truck Tyler medical issue would be a hive of parasites living in his muttonchops.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“So how many veterinarians are there in Santa Royale, anyway? I thought Ed was it. This kind of shoots down his ‘I’m too busy to help you plan our wedding’ excuse.” –Pozzo

“This doesn’t look like any convention I’ve been to. Where are the bored people at their booths desperately trying to give away free stuff in hopes of a few minutes of human interaction?” –Liam

“Specifically I’m reading this article ‘Annoying NASCAR-Crazed Grandma Ruins Race Day Again.’ You heard about this maniac?” –Schroduck

“General Halftrack’s computer has no keyboard. He merely taps his fingers against a board. For all we know, it also has no screen, and he just stares at a board, too. His desk has no telephone, pens, pencils, papers, letters, in- and out-boxes, stapler, envelopes, paper clips, or other office supplies. The ‘computer’ has no printer, and if it did, it too would likely be a board. This raises the question … how did the general’s wastebasket get full in the first place? I suspect that some other private, maybe Killer or Rocky, comes in ahead of Beetle, bearing a basket full of trash, which it is then Beetle’s job to empty. Scoff if you will, but this ritual is crucial to the operation of Camp Swampy. If it were not for this steady stream of full wastebaskets emerging from General Halftrack’s office, the Army would have every reason to have him declared legally dead.” –seismic-2

“‘WEET!’ ‘What is it, Coach?’ Son, no trash talking, okay? I want people to think of you, and the quality of having high moral principles and a stately demeanor, in the same breath!’ ‘No. Don’t say it, Coach.’ ‘Yep. Barnes and Noble!’” –Bob Tice

“What Jordan really means is, ‘Anyone who has achieved our level of verbal skills has no excuse for not being toilet trained. Simple as that.’” –MKay

“Gil, no! I need closure on this profanity!” –Dan

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!