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Ah, Finger Quotin’ Margo. How do we love thee? Let us count the ways. Or, hell, let’s just trot you out again for everyone to see.

Now, here’s the thing, kids. We all know that the Comics Curmudgeon merch store is desperately, desperately in need of freshening up. And it seems that what the people really want is some sort of Finger Quotin’ Margo product. But if there’s one thing that will bring down the wrath of the Syndicates with enough force to smash this little enterprise into dust, its me selling artwork to which I don’t have the rights on t-shirts. Only King Features can sell garments festooned with drawings of Finger Quotin’ Margo, and if they haven’t wised up to the obvious goldmine that such garments would represent, well, ours is not to wonder why.

But we can do the next best thing. We can’t use this drawing, but is there any reason we can’t … dress up like Margo and re-enact this scene? I’m betting the answer is “No”!

Yes, in a move that is totally and 100 percent not even a little ripped off from Drink At Work’s “Medium Large guy lookalike contest”, we’re having a “Finger Quotin’ Margo lookalike contest!” Just e-mail me a digital photo of yourself looking as much like Finger Quotin’ Margo as possible. You don’t have to wear a red turtleneck sweater, be a brunette, have hair in a bun, be stacked, or even be female, but all of those things will help your cause. (You definitely do have to make the finger quotes, though. C’mon people, put forth a little effort!) I’ll post the best of the pics here (so you also have to have a tolerance for public humiliation) and, if any of them are even close to the real thing, I’ll photoshop in a word balloon into the best and then slap it on a CafePress mug. (I’m thinking photos won’t really come out very well on a CafePress t-shirt, but if I’m wrong, please let me know! Also, I suggest you take the pic against a light-colored background.)

“Why should I subject yourself to your mockery?” you’re no doubt asking. Well, other than the fact that it’ll be totally boss if this comes even close to working, if I pick your picture for the mug, you’ll receive … a free mug! With your own picture on it. Just like the kind you can get down at those kiosks in the mall. Only, you know, awesome.

So don’t delay! Find a photographer and a red sweater and send in those pics!

Update: Mrs. C. has told me in the strongest terms that Finger Quotin’ Margo’s sweater is fuschia, not “red.” Make of that what you will.

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Hi everybody! This is going to be the first of a monthly feature here at the Comics Curmudgeon. It’s come to my attention lately that many of my readers are unfamiliar with all the stuff that this site has to offer. So, once a month, I’m going to highlight it all for you! If you’re totally familiar with all the doodads and hoohahs along the left side of your screen, you can just skip all this; but if you’re not, you might want to read on. It may surprise you! And in future installments of this post, I will highlight features that were added in the previous month.

Anyway, here’s some of the features of this site that go beyond the front page!

Archives. This site has been publishing for nearly two years now, and every single post is still available for your amusement. Check out the archives menu just below all the advertising (or click here to jump there). You can see all the posts that deal with a particular comic; see all the posts from a particular month; or search on a keyword or phrase. If you’re feeling reckless, you can also click on the Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery and enjoy an arbitrary entry from the past; this post will change every time you reload the page.

Discussion. Everybody knows that you can put witty comments on each post. But did you know that there’s a full-fledged Comics Curmudgeon discussion board where you can chat with your fellow comics fans? It’s true! Before you sign up to participate there, though, you should read the posting and discussion policies (which apply to comments on the main blog too, for that matter).

Subscribing. Tired of hitting “Refresh” on your browser over and over? Would you like to be alerted every time this blog is updated? You can, thanks to the magic of RSS Webfeeds. Check out the “Subscribe” heading in the left-hand navigational column. Click the “RSS” icon to get the URL to my feed for the newsreader of your choice. Alternately, you can click on any on any of the icons below it to add my site to a variety of popular feed-reading services. You can get updates on your My Yahoo!, My MSN, or Google homepage; add me to your Bloglines or Newsgator page; or even to your Livejournal friends list or your del.icio.us page, with just one click!

If the idea of getting Comics Curmudgeon updates automatically appeals to you but you have no idea what the hell anything in that last paragraph means, feel free to e-mail me and I’ll try to help you out.

Josh’s other comics projects. I do a bit of Comics Curmudgeoning on other sites as well. I write a weekly column called Cartoon Violence on Wonkette, a snarky political blog; it’s pretty much the same schtick as I do here, only with political cartoons, and lots more swearing, and it’s updated every Friday. I also write a short blurb called the Geek Comic of the Week for ITworld.com, a site that focuses on computers and IT; it focuses on Web comics and other cartoons outside of your daily paper with a geeky twist to them, and it’s updated every Sunday night.

Merchandising. Those smiling faces at the bottom of the ad bar aren’t just for show. They’re modeling delightful Comics Curmudgeon gear, which is available for purchase on CafePress! Yes, you can wear and/or drink out of merchandise reminding you of classics Comics Curmudgeon moments, such as “More zippers, mule!”, “In the absence of weights, I am employing isometrics”, Milford’s big gambling bust, “Roadside”, and Fence Post Frank. Um, and I realize that some of these catchphrases are pretty old by now. New ones coming soon! Maybe.

Advertising. Comics Curmudgeon readers are collectively the best people in the entire world, it goes without saying. Therefore, you’d be wise to market your product or service to them. And you can, by advertising on this site. Thanks to BlogAds, you can do so pretty easily. Just click here to get started. I think you’ll find the rates quite reasonable!

Tipping. “Gosh,” you may very well be saying, “Josh does all this for me; what I can do to make his life a little easier?” Well, you can always put a bit of scratch in my virtual tip jar through the magic of PayPal. Rest assured that every dollar I get allows me to spend less time on my boring real job and more time putting hilarious stuff on my site. Click here to start!

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your support, readership, and hilarious commentary. I’m way too narcissistic to keep doing this without knowing that you’re all out there reading this, so keep it up!

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Some of you may not have seen Monday’s Pearls Before Swine:

Those of you who did see it may have thought that its worse crime was the egregious punnery that brought Rat to tears in panel three. However, today’s Baltimore Sun ran a letter to the editor with a different view:

Crude comic insults the devotion of nuns

In light of all the calamities confronting our country, it might seem rather mundane to write a letter to the editor concerning the comics. However, there are so many ways that artists and writers chip away at any of the core values left in America.

Two of the most decent comics that were in The Sun, Prince Valiant and Mark Trail, were eliminated and replaced with yet more inane and offensive comic strips.

Could it be that those comics were dropped because they dared to mention God at various intervals?

On Monday, Stephan Pastis hit a new low when his Pearls Before Swine strip mentioned a nun having enemas with the crudest of entertainers, Eminem. How disgusting.

I had three aunts in the convent who dedicated their lives to the poor. The nuns in our parochial schools gave my children an excellent education that has served them well.

This cartoon is a slap in the face to each of these self-sacrificing women.

Polly Thornton

Elkridge

Mind you, this was written before they start putting bestiality in the Jumble, so things are only going downhill faster and faster. If anyone can point me to a religious tenant that declares enemas to be sinful — or for that matter, a religiously themed Mark Trail — I’d be grateful. Last Christmas Mark gave Jesus short shrift so he could focus on Santa, so I’m not convinced of his piety.

Speaking of the decline and fall of our civilization, faithful reader Victoria Solomon recently sent me a link to a video she and her little friends made mocking another good-hearted and decent comic, the Family Circus. Enjoy, heathens!