“Mary pounding at the window, desperate to hear more about this estranged cousin situation. Former best friends? Decades apart? Major upcoming life event that gives them the opportunity to reconcile? ‘THIS BETTER NOT BE A THROWAWAY COMMENT TO TEE UP ED’S POOR WORK-LIFE BALANCE’ she shouts, smashing a wet muffin in her hand as rain lashes down.” –Dan

“A ‘still-hard Herky’s bar’ sounds way dirtier than anything in a so-called ‘kid’s’ comic ever should.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Good to see Lee Falk is unhappy as the rest of us when forced to think about The Phantom.” –jroggs

“I think the world post-Animalpocalypse is probably much more oxygen-rich than our own, which helps the animals have much more powerful brains and allows Mike to grow so large (since, after all, chitin is relatively strong for its weight). That might also explain why Slylock is so often standing around with that loopy grin on his face. It’s not only smugness. It’s also a teensy bit of hyperoxia.” –Chance

“Man, when you start adding people from the ‘estranged relative’ section of your guest list, your wedding is either too big or you don’t have enough friends. I’m betting on the latter in this case.” –pugfuggly

“Actually, Mike the Monster Mosquito won’t be ‘feasting on flower nectar and plant juices,’ he’ll be starving slowly to death as his hijacked body flings itself helplessly but uselessly against the skin of terrified animals under the Count’s command. Sorry, that got a bit grim. Although not as grim as ‘This pit bull we’ve never seen before is getting the wrong medication for its illness’ and ‘Gertie’s cat is trapped somewhere and/or dead.’” –Schroduck

“Gee, I’m sure glad we went through this whole plot about how terrible bullying is so we can get something that would realistically cause more bullying.” –Needless Exposition

“I wonder if the employee of Walker-Browne Industries that wrote this strip was able to write off their trip to Kansas City as ‘research,’ or at the very least their meal at the rib place they ate at.” –Westing1992

“It’s funny because they’ll turn to the backup plan for winter warmth: beaver pelts.” –nescio

“Speaking as a northlander who once lived in a small village where in the winter the power and water would often fail from the cold and we’d have to huddle around the fireplace to survive the night (this happened last in 1996 by the way), I’m gonna say Hägar and family will probably be fine. Judging by their lack of a woodshed to keep the firewood safe, these are soft southerners, probably in Denmark or someplace warm like that.” –Amelie Wikström

“Dutch camera angles, characters who never look at one another when they speak and whose dialog is always mismatched … we’re only black-and-white film and long introspective silences away from the Ingmar Bergman era of Mary Worth, and you know what? It makes far more sense this way. Låt den svenska expressionismen rulla säger jag! Wilbur är mycket bättre på det här sättet!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“The usual way would be to get several manila folders, with a color-coded tab for each vendor, but if you’re making the folder from scratch — shredding wood, boiling it down to pulp, dying, rolling, cutting, and all — I can see why one would be enough until this whole ‘wedding’ excitement passes.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Start with the cameras facing the sea. Get me a geofence so we can see all the cell phones in the area. Hack the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency so we can get raw take from the spy sats. You, seduce the head of COMOCEANSYSLANT and find out if the Integrated Undersea Surveillance System sensors picked up any unusual splashes. Me, I’m going to go beat a bit of truth out of Poseidon, king of the depths. If anyone saw something, he did. Let’s get cracking, people!” –Voshkod

“That is the face of a man who knows about furries and knows his fiancée doesn’t know.” –Stronk Pony Club, on BlueSky

“Wilbur RSVPs: ‘Does it have to be a mammal?’” –Hibbleton

“Sage has been part of various French colonial projects for centuries, eventually winding up in Algeria. He’s committed many unforgivable sins, and the Haitian voodoo priestess warned him that not only would he have to live the years he cost the slaves he traded to the colony, but the sins of all those years would pile up into a karmic debt he would pay in the afterlife. No Catholic priest could forgive him, there is no home with the Muslim natives he oppressed, let alone the Jews after his collaboration as a member of the Vichy government. He lives in the cave to avoid adding more to his debts and hide from the looming spectre of death who walks the land with a parade of his many victims in tow.” –Philip

“Crock, sadly, makes more sense when you realize that they’re in the Sonoran desert, home of saguaro cacti, not the Sahara. You can write the whole mess off to peyote.” –Downpuppy

“Is casual dress even permitted at all in military offices? I don’t know Army policy, but then again the Beetle Bailey people don’t either.” –Tom T.

“Folks said please and thankee! That’s it! Folks only knew two words! Communicatin’ was difficult back then, we had t’git creative with inflection! That’s why young’uns wuz quiet and polite; they din’t know all these fancy pleases! I mean words! Shoot, there I thankee again!” –els

“Panel after panel of suspense-building. What is Marvin typing? What is that skritching? What is Marvin typing? What is that skritching? WHAT IS MARVIN TYPING? WHAT IS THAT SKRITCHING? And then we get (a) not gonna tell you, and (b) fleas. They could have done this as a weekday strip, is what I’m saying. It would have been just as lame, but would have wasted 57% less of my time.” –Twinkles the Elf

“‘You doing okay, Parker?’ ‘Why would you be asking me that weeks later at the Youth Center, as opposed to at school, where we run into one another all the time and the incident happened?’ ‘Listen, I don’t create this dialogue! — I just say what’s drawn in the dialogue bubble for me!’” –Bob Tice

“So what if people say it’s not ‘normal’ for 50 year-olds to hang at the youth center. Normal’s overrated. (‘Boring’ will always be in fashion though, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.)” –2+2=7

“Dot, envisioning a future as a ventriloquist, practices by saying ‘Stop’ without opening her mouth. (It’s the ‘p’ that’s tricky.)” –Pozzo

“The twins ending their parents’ ability to do any imagination is made even more sinister when you look at panel two, and see that Hi and Lois are both half-bodies floating in the olive-colored void. This is either Hi or Lois dreaming, but even in the personal space of sleep their children intrude to ground their attempts to live counter-factuals or alternative histories. Like the darkest days of an authoritarian regime, the children are trained to report on parents breaking the rules of the established order, so much so the parents fear them even in their sleep.” –Philip

“Sarge is canonically a WWII veteran, so maybe he is just paralyzed in fear that they are sending him into the meat grinder of the Pacific theatre.” –Ettore Costa, on Twitter

“‘Make sure the avocado has implied boobs’ is the kind of attention to detail you don’t get at Hi and Lois.” –Dan

“I unabashedly love the Jack Benny vibe Dennis gives off in the second panel, smartly complemented by his old-fashioned footwear (what are those, saddle shoes???). It all creates such an anachronistic vaudeville feel that I almost missed the fact that Dennis and Margaret are both standing in puddles of their own urine.” –Doctor Moreau

“The most menacing thing in the Dennisverse today is the concept that they experience their reality in the same format we see them in the comic, which would explain why the television today is oriented in what we consider to be portrait mode.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Who’s to say the A/C doesn’t dance a truly delightful little jig? It clearly knows its own worth.” –Plaid Phantom

“For all I know, Rodney and Barnes are two different guys. Rodney’s just sore, but Barnes had a bitter argument with Noble about that giant volume of Hans Christian Andersen stories that nobody bought this month. ‘On the bottom display rack, wrapped in plastic, and 20% off!’ Noble sneered, while Barnes wept bitterly. This would ruin his relationship with Torch, he knew that much for sure.” –made of wince

“Mr Wilson is never happier than when he’s pressing his soft belly into a spiky hedge. Just look at that expression on his face: it’s not a good feeling, but at least he’s feeling something.” –pugfuggly

“Good humor in Mr. Wilson’s case entails looking like a gleefully deranged Nazi war criminal as opposed to his usual sullen, dyspeptic Nazi war criminal.” –Violet

“Dennis cheerfully informs his best friend that his neighbor is having a great day. Menacing Level: Less than zero.” –astroboy

“[Taps sign] MUST DRIVE MASERATI OR BETTER TO QUESTION FUNERARY PRACTICES” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Dolly is actually giving good advice here. When you are asking for God to smite someone, you must speak with a more commanding tone.” –Ranger

“The cable guy’s air of contentment is about more than just the opportunity to set down his tool box, put his feet up, and sit a spell. The naysayers and gloomcasters have been telling him for so many years that nobody keeps a live-in cable repairman anymore; this isn’t the glittering, prosperous 1980s, when enthusiasm for the exciting new medium of cable television was sky high and limitlessly coke-fueled. He’s fought to hold on to the era-appropriate wisdom of Flashdance and most other movies: when you give up your dream, you die.” –Violet

“Lois strolls the Triangle d’Or en fleek in the hottest new Givenchy galoshes.” –Cleveland Mocks

“Wait, didn’t Lois put her magazine and glasses away and go to sleep? Hence the dreaming? Why is she suddenly awake and wearing glasses again in the … oh no. She’s being incepted! Wake up, Lois! None of this is real! Wake up before they make you deport yourself!” –jroggs

“I feel personally insulted by the fact that Marvin has seven panels that look completely identical, but upon close examination have clearly been completely redrawn for each one, with Megan looking slightly different even while being in the exact same pose (watch the mouth in particular). How do you create a strip that’s boring and repetitive to look at, yet still takes as much work as if you hadn’t resorted to talking heads? Own your laziness dammit!” –Morgan Wick

“I wanted to do a bit on internet searches that somehow reveal that a person is lazy and self-centered but I was too distracted by the way Megan is making eye contact with the reader. I know this is a problem for some child actors but I didn’t think child cartoons would stare at the camera.” –Victor Von

“What’s funny in this is that Dennis is delivering a pretty stock Mr Wilson punchline there. Which makes you wonder, is he destined to become his elderly neighbor in time, and get his own ‘brat noir’? [takes a drag of a cigarette] Time is a flat circle, man…” –pugfuggly

“Magical bagpipes that set the ears ablaze would explain how the king has managed to survive for as long as he has in a castle with walls so low that invaders could just lift each other over them.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I’m not sure how one could visually depict a screeching noise, but a bunch of eighth notes flying around is not it.” –Flipper

“You know what? I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna say something nice about Bizarro, and that something is this: I want that art on the wall. Bigfoot job-hunting, whatever, that’s fine, I give it a C-, but upside-down hat-birdie is pretty great and I’d happily hang that in my office. Then again, if I did that, I’d be constantly thinking ‘That’s a piece of art I somehow sourced from Bizarro, of all things,’ and my life would be about 5% worse than it would be otherwise, so maybe it’s better this way. Godspeed, upside-down hat-birdie. I hope the [squints] lit stick of dynamite hanging next to you spares your upside-down life.” –els

“In the broader comics category of ‘children hear but don’t understand adult concepts’ and apply them in hilariously cute ways, Curtis has completely misunderstood the two’s compliment method for representing signed integers in digital computations.” –Hibbleton

“‘Window?’ ‘Sign?’ Do you think this idea is good to convince rational people to walk in? No, it’s too stupid! It’s for social media!” –Ettorre

“You all are making jokes, but this is the unfortunate reality for those among us who adopt the furry lifestyle.” –Tom T.

“Mr. Wilson has a Dennis-sized tumor. Menace level: Stage 4.” –taig

“Trixie will be among the first generation with early-onset ‘YouTube Face.’” –Philip

“Pluggers aren’t just romantically smiling at each other, they’re predatorial carnivores and showing their teeth is a sign of aggression.” –Rex Thrillho, on Twitter

“livedtotellaboutit.com points to an unconfigured Shopify site, which is significantly more menacing than whatever wisecrack Dennis used to break down his last three sitters. Commodify your trauma, sisters!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“You’re a plugger if smiling hurts … because everything hurts. Life is a series of endless pain and suffering now as entropy is slowly killing you and it won’t stop until you die. Now, who’s ready for romance?” –OId Man Shadow

“Given that food is like sex for the Bumsteads, what we’re seeing in panel 3 is some kind of sick exhibitionism, and Herb’s wistful ‘You’ve got a gold medal wife’ takes on a whole new meaning. Do you think they ever swing together (i.e. eat meals cooked by each other’s wives)?” –Schroduck

“Olympic Logo Eggs! Or, as they call it at down at the diner, Five Eggs!” –RoofPig

“I love that Billy and Jeffy are just staring at the Olympics crowd scenes, presumably changing the channel when the camera stops panning the stands and focuses on the boring actual sports.” –Thelonious_Nick