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— Uncle Lumpy

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Hey everybody! I’m off on a little vacation for the next week and change, but have no fear: your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be here to keep you up to date on Wilbur’s latest cat piss follies and tuck you in at night. See ya after Labor Day, but until then, here is your comment of the week, which will remain at the top of the leaderboard until I return because Uncle Lumpy is too kind to play favorites!

“I love the naivete of ‘I didn’t know that they even made shirts with that word on them.’ Michelle, t-shirt technology has progressed to the point where any word can be emblazoned on a shirt and therefore broadcast to the world. Isn’t that remarkable? What times we live in, huh?” –Joe Blevins

And your hilarious runners up!

“Art houses. Ha. This baby is going straight to video. Literal video. It’s going to VHS tape. Beta, too. Not DVD, not Netflix, just tape. Dust off your VCR, if you even still have one. Be kind and rewind, suckers.” –made of wince

“‘Not to be a buzzkill or anything’ is such a bizarre phrase to read in Funky Winkerbean. It goes against the whole spirit of the enterprise. It would be like a Lockhorns panel where someone says, ‘I love you so much.’” –Vice President John Adams

“Based on Michelle’s reactions — and given that this is Rex Morgan we’re talking about — I’d guess that the ‘legal?’ cousin is putting a flyer in someone’s ‘USPS’-approved mailbox. The second cousin is wearing a T-shirt printed with ‘portzebie.’ The last cousin, of course, is a member of A Flock of Seagulls.” –Bill’s Tummy Brain

“The key to getting Greg, a character wholly defined by disdain for social media and hip hop, to accept social media and hip hop, is one panel of flattery. Tell him he’s handsome, he will betray literally everything he’s ever believed in for two panels of fleeting joy before the self-deprecating hatred of his own appearance kicks back in. Friggin’ bleak, Curtis.” –Dan

“It’s funny because usually ‘leave the past in the past’ refers to trauma, not friendships. Of course this is the Rexverse, where all emotions are just one same annoyance.” –pugfuggly

“The writers of Rex Morgan, M.D., are trying their hardest to make us like Buck. But I’m not sure ‘At least he is not as much of a loser as Jordan’ is the right route.” –Ettorre

“I see the editor/owner’s point. Heather would probably expect to be paid, whereas someone who’s already put in two years in the newsroom has been disabused of that notion.” –But What Do I Know?

“Well, you can have this floor lamp, since we obviously have no place to plug it in.” –Pozzo

“I like Libby. She says what we’re all thinking.” –Truckosaurus

“I don’t know what’s more implausible. That someone covering high school athletics for a local newspaper is an institution, much less an institution in 2021, or that you can achieve institution status while being perhaps, on the outside, 30 year old. I mean look at that chin, you could bounce quarters off that thing.” –Jerp+Jump

“Telling Les that you can’t imagine what he’s thinking right now: classic masochistic move.” –Weaselboy

“Wilbur’s just mad because he already peed on that spot to mark it as his favorite. He has to meet Libby’s challenge for dominance head on, but frankly I don’t think he has the will or the intelligence to win this.” –Evelyn Waughluigi, on Twitter

“Remarkable restraint by the writers of a comic about an elderly woman to hold out 83 years before doing a story involving cat urine.” –Donny Ferguson, on Twitter

“It’s hard to get attention on the internet these days, but I think ‘Man’s mouth literally catches fire’ would go viral without needing a clickbait title.” –Schroduck

“The view of Dagwood eating chili in the video is the same as when the lunch counter appears as a location in other strips, which brings up a disturbing question: is Blondie found-footage?” –Blaueziege

“Okay, sure, Diet Smith could rule time and space like a tyrannical god and this could be Dick’s — indeed, humanity’s — only chance to stop him. On the other hand, maybe there’s someone with a weak chin and a weaker handshake committing a minor felony somewhere else! To the Dickmobile!” –jroggs

“How appropriate that Les and his latest victim are discussing cancer in Stage Five, a stage of cancer so virulent that it’s not even recognized by science. Stage Five, when all is cancer, when you are cancer, I am cancer, the world is cancer, the Moon is in Cancer.” –Voshkod

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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You want this week’s top comment? You got it, buddy.

“I’m actually super-impressed with the couch. Yes, it’s drawn super-low and weird… but the cartoonist OWNS that by making the guy look super-uncomfortable with his knees drawn up high, and an awkward look on his face. It’s not that it’s a badly-drawn couch, it’s a well-drawn bad couch.” –RoofPig

You want runners up? You got those too!

“How is Mason Jarre not being sarcastic here? ‘Hi folks, I’m the star of a billion-dollar space action franchise, and I’m on my way to a bangin’ wrap party for some Lifetime Channel cancer porn I shot during my lunch breaks! And look who’s with me! The writer who gets the based on credit! Not even the actual screenwriter! I was going to show you the production assistant, but he’s working his other job at Starbucks.’” –Banana Jr. 6000

“Hmm. So if a nationally syndicated comic strip is acknowledging Instagram, that must mean it became irrelevant at least a year ago, maybe more. Sorry you had to find out this way, Instagram.” –Joe Blevins

“‘Mason Fans?’ Mason Fans?! JARRE HEADS” –Dan

“Oh, snap! I hope Bemidji’s social media team is ready for the flood of interest generated by this wild twist!” –Powers

“We’ve survived a fire and a plague making this movie! But we refused to take the hint that the Almighty did not want this movie to exist and we produced it anyway! May God have mercy of all our souls!” –Ettorre

“It really seems like Crankshaft wouldn’t be buying checks online. I picture him going to the bank bright and early instead, intent on paying for his new checks with one of the last of his old checks. Because banking online? That’s how they getcha.” –made of wince

“Wilbur, I would wager any amount of money that Kitney Houston over there is a– No, wait, that Whitney Mewston over there is a– NO WAIT HERE IT IS, that Dolly Purrton, thank God I got that out of my system, that Dolly Purrton over there is a better singer than you.” –els

“Investigate every possible cause or motivation behind the fire? He should start with the fire’s acting coach. ‘Okay, your motivation in this scene is that you really, really hate this B&B. The sheets were only 200 thread count, and the French toast was soggy.’” –Peanut Gallery

“So the presumably deep-pocketed mayor just accused them, without evidence, of being arsonists on live television. Sam and Abbey would sue, but that might lead to courtroom drama, and we all know a strip called Judge Parker can’t have any of that.” –Where’s Rocky?

“For once the weird empty aesthetic of this strip actually works in its favor, in that those two definitely look like they’re having messed-up hallucinations in a crack den.” –pugfuggly

“Obviously Wilbur deserves to die, but also, what kind of idiot thinks ‘This cat is making too much noise, I will lock it up in a room where it doesn’t want to be?’ Has he ever met a cat?” –matt+w

“Very unfortunate that this Crankshaft strip happened to go out the week Afghanistan fell, since any other week a guy cracking wise at scenes of death and devastation in a faraway land would presumably be in perfectly good taste.” –Schroduck

“Cats kill by going for the neck. Normally they try to break the spinal cord, but all Libby needs to do is tear through Wilbur’s larynx and she will have killed all his hopes and dreams.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“My only fear here is that Wilbur is going to learn a lesson at the end of all this. I don’t want him to learn a lesson. Like God hardening the pharaoh’s heart for the final plagues I want the fullness of justice to be brought down on him.” –BananaSam

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!