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What’s that? It’s your comment of the week!

“And I want to talk to you about what Don Henley himself did for the love of it. That’s right, cocaine, lots of it! That and treating his band mates like disposable hired help. But mostly, let’s talk cocaine! You need it, I have it!” –Rhino Sandberg

And holy cow, it’s also your runners up!

“Cayla smirks for the same reason we all do. Les is hateful and his suffering is delicious.” –T.H. steady

“It’s Lisa’s story, not the world’s. Everyone should pay me just for being me, not demanding that I provide them with some kind of product or service.” –Peanut Gallery

“It takes a truly mature comic to stop their own narrative and just say ‘Look, over the last couple weeks we tried to bring forth a thoughtful and poignant message through the medium of daily comics, but we failed. Why don’t you just look up this popular song instead? It’s actually does much better job of conveying what we meant.’” –pugfuggly

“‘This is still a traditional and still-warm power lunch stop.’ It’s way too early in the day for me to feel like I’ve had a stroke. Goddammit Funky, just use normal people words.” –jeltranksss

“Gasoline Alley has its finger right on the pulse of the zeitgeist as usual. If there’s one complaint Don Henley gets the most about his music, it’s that it’s too loud.” –Chance

“Wait a second … he’s your ‘friend’? Meaning he’s going to pine for you, act like a jealous jerk, and ultimately try to steal you away from your significant other? Because that’s my definition of how a friend acts. I may have whew’d prematurely.” –Jenna

“‘Lisa’s Story is about Les’ is the smoking gun we all long ago lost our will to care about.” –C Trombley, on Twitter

“If Halftrack would invest in a door, this strip would lose a good 20% of its opportunity for ‘humor.’” –Pozzo

“The elevator pitch? ‘Like Love Story, but with bigger assholes.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“At this point, I’m thinking Mason has arranged this whole trip as an elaborate ‘let’s humiliate Les’ exercise. The ‘producers’ they’re meeting with are actually just friends of his who are in on the gag, and they’re secretly recording all of the sessions and will distribute a highlights reel once this is over. It’s a lot of work, sure, but it’s for a worthy cause.” –Dmsilev

“A male plugger happily doing the dishes is difficult to believe, but his wearing an apron pushes it to impossibility. Today’s comic is going to provoke a bunch of protests at state capitals across the country.” –nescio

“Yeah, I thought Jared’s car would be held together simply by the sheer power of his overwhelming neediness.” –2+2=7

“Look, I may be bored as hell by the subject matter, or skeptical of Buck’s ability to unload Truck’s merch online — but I am amazed and impressed by the way these guys hold their cell phones. Do you smell something meaty with cabbage? Yeah, that’s right — it’s a Reuben.” –Old (Home) School Allie Cat

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Hey y’all: it’s your comment … of … the WEEK!

“If we do have to accept a more narrow First Amendment in the future, I propose a ban on topical references in the funny papers. It’s disgusting to me that the Bumsteads don’t still have a candlestick telephone.” –Tim Cavanaugh, on Twitter

And your very funny runners up!

“Turns out, employing a whole office full of people to draw up fictitious contracts with funny names has been ruled a ‘non-essential business.’ I don’t like it any more than you do, Dithers.” –Peanut Gallery

“The sole concession Blondie and Cora will make to the Pandemic is to wear flats instead of heels. Keep it tight, ladies!” –lorne

“Do you suppose comic strip characters are as weirded out by real-world celebrities visiting their strip as we are? Does seeing the unnatural level of detail and precision trigger their Uncanny Valley revulsion?” –TheDiva

“Dawn … do you still feel like I do? With your skin? Or has being in New York changed you into a C.H.U.D., blind and desensitized, querulously sniffing the air for the scent of meat?” –Voshkod

“I love how the doctors in the background serve to highlight that no one wants to eat lunch with Jared, including and especially when he looks sad.” –Jenna

“Don’t count Ed out — he’s only made a pun on the ‘over’ part so far. He’s holding ‘head’ and ‘bin’ in reserve.” –Pozzo

“The dog got top billing over Mason; it’s that little extra knife-twist of indignity you don’t get anywhere but Funky Winkerbean.” –Dan

“Look at Les’s disapproving expression: ‘What, you sacrificed your artistic integrity AND passed up an opportunity to get a deadly disease to draw inspiration from? For shame, Mason, for shame.’” –pugfuggly

“I’m confused. Is ‘the lack of universal healthcare will ensure a steady supply of movies with funny animals‘ an endorsement or a condemnation of neoliberalism?” –Ettorre

“Thank goodness. His parents are probably frantically searching the silverware drawer, looking for the missing butter knife. ‘We can’t just have seven complete settings! We just can’t!’” –nescio

“You know what’s sad about this? Warren conveys the joke — he started speaking at an extremely young age — perfectly well in panel one. There’s no need for him to say anything else. But then, in panel two, he panics and adds gratuitous explanation. You sold out, Warren.” –Joe Blevins

“Between Friends is actually a lockdown strip; these characters haven’t been sober in WEEKS.” –Rosstifer

“The charitable explanation is that Mason set up these out-of-reach meetings deliberately to puncture Les’s ego and grandeur, so that he will be ready for the inevitable pivot to Hallmark and Lifetime.” –Tom T.

“Are you thinking of me? Are you thinking of Hugo? Are you envisioning my shaggy, paleolithic head staring blankly at you from a cloud bank? Are you picturing my head on Hugo’s body, speaking in French about how Endor is a moon and not a planet? Are you secretly some sort succubus who specifically feeds on the love from nerd and Frenchman alike? Are you human? Or are you dancer? Jesus, these eighteen hour shifts are killing me. I … I need to get some sleep.” –Mighty Sean Young

“It was very clever of Dawn to store pictures of Jared in the cloud.” –Weaselboy

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Oh, hey, what’s today? Friday? I almost forgot, as if each day seemed exactly like the one before it and they all just kind of blended into one another and time had no meaning anymore, for some reason. Anyhoo, here’s your comment of the week!

“For a moment I thought the Dennis strip’s punchline was screwed up by the layout artist. It took several readings to understand that it was Mr. Wilson and Dennis trading lines. Then I remembered that layout artists don’t work at newspapers anymore and wished I could daydrink. Then I remembered we’re quarantined and that I could! Win!” –Bill Peschel

And your very funny runners up!

“Slick Smitty must feel terribly lonely, being the last man on earth. Just look at those picture frames hanging on the wall. Instead of holding photos of his family, loved ones, friends, co-workers, or just casual acquaintances — or for that matter even people he doesn’t really much like — they are empty. They are permanent, constant, heart-wrenching reminders that there’s no one else. You’re on your own, Bub. Hey, in these days of social isolation, I regularly see plenty of animals of various sorts running around in the yard, but I encounter no fellow humans. I feel your pain, man. I feel your pain.” –seismic-2

“I like Lois blushing at the tulip in the last panel. It suggests that there might have been a bit more interesting story we could have seen instead, even if it doesn’t actually go to the trouble to invent one.” –pachoo

“I imagine you could disrupt a parade just as badly by flinging freezing-cold saltwater into people’s eyes, but what do I know? I’m not a trained detective, or even a detective’s assistant illegally trespassing in someone’s kitchen.” –BigTed

“Hmm. There are six chix. This might be a self portrait. Is this one of their writing sessions? Where they talk about the weird neuroses that they are going to cartoon. Like group therapy? Because if 6C is therapy art that emerges from a group therapy session, I think the strip is fully explained.” –richardf8

“The real crime Slylock Fox should be investigating is why the wolf put a bottle of red wine in the fridge.” –KMD

“That is not just unusually wide but a weirdly shallow staircase, too. It’s like they’re going up to the mezzanine in a museum. It shouldn’t be that taxing for Leroy, unless his wife has poisoned him.” –Tom T.

“THE PILLOW LORETTA NOW IS THE TIME FOR THE PILLOW AS WE REHEARSED” –pastordan

“Look at the depressed look of the police chief in panel 2! ‘Yeah, we got a bomb-sniffing dog that is only good at identifying cinematic bombs. I’d rather have known this before the last terrorist attack. We lost so many brave agents and so many civilians.’” –Ettorre

“How is a sesame bagel with peanut butter unusual? The worrying thing is the straight razor he’s apparently going to use to spread it.” –Rosstifer

“Hey, so what’s the creepiest things about this strip? Boog’s dead eyes as his father talks about the Grave? The parrot who can somehow enunciate the difference between a ‘c’ and a ‘k’? The general moist, creepy ambiance that inhabits every Gasoline Alley strip? Nope: its Charlotte’s massive palms and tiny fingers, in what looks like the worst case ever of what my granny used to call ‘carny hands.’” –pugfuggly

“Honestly I find this development in Mary Worth very relatable. And I was checking to see whether the restaurant they’re at (Amélie Wine Bar on the Upper West Side) had curtains like that (of course not), and I somehow found myself clicking on a reservations link even though I don’t live in New York and also coronavirus, so I find all sorts of bad decisions relatable.” –matt w

“‘Me want cookies. Me also want web cache, registry, and pen register. Me want Title III wiretap. Me want this guy. Me want him bad.’ –Scene from CSI:Sesame Street:Cyber Crimes Squad.” –Voshkod

“Ah good, Hugo’s feelings aren’t hurt. Maybe don’t show him a picture of the guy you left him for though. No reason.” –Dan

“Eat Drink Man Dead Woman
Fists of Radiation
Farewell My Concubine, Because You’re Dying
Slouching Jackass Hidden Tumor” –made of wince

“If Mohawk Dude is married I’d love to eavesdrop on some home conversations. ‘No, honey, I love your white bean and olive soup. I’m just not sure the Chinese will go for an overcooked salty mess. Their words, not mine.’” –Artist formerly known as Ben

And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Start your own online ad agency! Learn more!

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!