Archive: metaposts

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Please enjoy the follow comment, deemed by me to be of the top quality!

“There is a pill for writer’s block. It’s called benzedrine and about half of the great novels of the 20th century were written with it. That said, his main audience might not be ready for an epic manic Kitty Cop on the Road or a mind-bending Three Stigmata of Kitty Cop.” –Effluvius Erratus

These other comments? Almost as funny, definitely tip-top as well!

This is a dream right? At some point we switched from Sarah’s, unrealistic, unentertaining fantasies over to Buck’s?” –Carsick Yankee

“‘Max, what are we going to do?’ ‘As my grandfather would say, let’s pretend it’s not an immediate problem and completely ignore it!’ ‘But, Max, your grandfather is an idiot.’ ‘Yes, but somehow he’s still in charge of children’s safety. Life is funny, isn’t it?’ ‘No.’” –BigTed

“Huh. ‘I’m going after Kadaver’ is usually Dick Tracy’s euphemism for seeking out sexy time, by which he means shooting someone.” –pastordan

“The three stages of life today: Waiting for lunch, having lunch, getting shot with a blowdart.” –matt w

“I like that Dick doesn’t even try to respond to Sam’s whiny little plea, ‘But he died in Europe!‘ I’d imagine that, for sanity’s sake, Dick tunes out about 70% of what his sidekick says to him.” –Joe Blevins

“Ha ha! Lois is so blotto she’s doing her dishes in the living room! Silly Lois, you forgot why you had a plate and dishcloth in your hands, did you? She has a problem, lol!” –Tabby Lavalamp

“‘Well,’ Lois snapped, ‘if you think Heidegger’s Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics is boring, then maybe you’re not the daughter I thought you were. We drink the wine to get drunk. The thing is the thing.’” –Voshkod

“How do you know Zero is stupid? Beetle is also a perfect marksman, but he doesn’t show it to Sarge because it is a one-way ticket to a combat zone.” –Ettorre

“The look on Marvin’s face in the third panel is truly disturbing. ‘I’ve seen worse things than a man with multiple strains of hepatitis,’ he’s thinking. ‘I’ve seen the inside of my own diaper.’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

Kitty Cop appears to be a parody of the wildly beloved Dogman series by Dav Pilkey, which features a policeman with a dog’s head who raises a cat. It didn’t occur to me that newspaper strips were allowed to be aware of anything that came about after 1998 unless it was a cell phone they could be smug pricks about.” –Bunivasal

“Wait, isn’t golf a sport that’s too ‘high-end’ for the stereotypical working-class pluggers? Let’s get this comic back to its roots by having Mr Dog Man get hit in the head with, say, a bowling ball.” –2+2=7

“Have you considered that Corina may be growling these words ferally while biting pizza to show her contempt, because she is the best Gil Thorp character?” –Dan

“A hundred million dollars says the writer guy (whose name I don’t care about) tries some EXTREMELY low level ‘supplement’ to help him get over writer’s block, becomes addicted, and has to talk to Buck about talking to a doctor and Buck (whose name I am embarrassed to admit I know) arranges for him to meet Rex Morgan MD (whose name legally has to include the MD because he didn’t spend 6 years in poorly-drawn med school, etc etc), which gives the girl (this joke has run its course) a CHANCE to meet writer guy. She won’t get to meet writer guy because Rex won’t even try to tell her about it in advance, but at least Rex will give her a one (or possibly two) word summary of his meeting with her idol.” –Briane Pagel

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It’s your comment of the week, right … now!

“Don’t worry folks, this extremely tedious series of strips where Harry smugly inventories his experience as high school band leader to confirm that it has prepared him to lead a church choir is going somewhere. Eventually one of the indistinguishable old ladies will mention an aspect of choir that Harry will have to admit he had no experience with, at which point he will be paraded up a hill and sacrificed to the Wicker Man.” –Francisco Arrowroot

And your runners up, also right now!

“For years, pediatricians have strongly recommended against pillows in the crib, for risk of SIDS. But we all know what ‘crud’ is synonymous with. Marvin shit the bed so violently that the artist had no choice but to draw a life-threatening cushion to block the carnage from view.” –Carsick Yankee

“Hey, did you know that despite the powerful enzymes in their stomachs, birds of prey still have problems digesting bits of bone and hair, which they vomit up in little hardened pellets. Anyhow, just a random bird fact to enjoy while you read today’s comic.” –pugfuggly

“Boy, it didn’t take long for this situation to go from ‘WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!’ to ‘WE NEED TO STAND AROUND AND TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE, AS SLOWLY AND VAGUELY AS POSSIBLE!’” –Joe Blevins

“I realize getting punched out and left unconscious is not fun. I still think, however, that Sam’s eyebrows should get a short break. Couldn’t his forehead relax just enough to let the brows become a little less frowny?” –Poteet

“June busily ties an ear onto her head.” –Ukulele Ike

“If there is any comfort to be had from Crankshaft, it’s that Ed receives as little pleasure from his half-hearted wordplay as he gives.” –TheDiva

“[RING RING] ‘Oh no … not now … not today!’ ‘Ugh … hello, this is Drew Cory.’ ‘Drew! Your house is falling over! You need to get out of there right now!’ ‘But it’s supposed to be my day oooooooff!’” –jroggs

Buck’s go-to emotion is ‘wary of something slightly up and to his left.’” –Dan

“Try your best to not imagine what pops up in Harry Dinkle’s thought balloon when someone calls him ‘asshole’ (which I assume happens pretty regularly). Have a nice day!” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Two things I know about New York is that rats are horrible, and cars don’t slow down for pedestrians. That evil rodent is using the old lady as a shield! Next he’ll turnstile-jump in the subway, eat a pizza slice in the dumpster of the very worst Original Ray’s, and give the new movie version of West Side Story a bad review in Newsday.” –BigTed

“He’s a righteous rat who loves his city but isn’t afraid to break the rules — in this case the square cube law.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Hi is shocked at the capitalist overlord’s casual oppression of the proletariat. ‘Why may not the working class go pantsless?’ he reflected; ‘Are we ever shackled to suffer the indignities of unthinking bourgeois preconceptions?’ It was at the very next coffee break that he and his comrades began to whisper of beginning the great struggle — the People’s struggle — to assert Man’s undeniable right to go pantsless now … and forever…” –odinthor

“Say what you will about Leroy and Loretta’s marriage, but Loretta isn’t going to let her husband be jeered and ridiculed by everyone at his office. Jeering and ridiculing Leroy is HER job, and she’ll be damned if she lets anyone else horn in on her turf.” –Mr. A

“I noticed a flesh-coloured area in the window. That’s not a simple ‘shine.’ That’s the reflection of the arm of a 50ft angry Ashlee coming to tear the hospital apart with her bare hands, grab Drew, then climb a skyscraper while swatting at helicopters.” –The Rambling Otter

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Hell yeah it’s your comment of the week!

“This plugger seems to be jiggling both the toilet handle and his genitals simultaneously. And both for the same reason: to avoid having to pay money to a professional.” –Joe Blevins

Hell yeah it’s your hilarious runners up!

“Even by Family Circus standards, ‘I love my dead grandpa‘ is a punchline so weak you could use it in homeopathy.” –Schroduck

“There aren’t enough comments about the totally awkward position Granddad’s ghost has taken up in the background of the last panel. And it is bugging the heck out of me! He is leaning back against the wall, but while his form is in contact with the wall it is not disturbing the curtain. And why would a ghost need to lean on anything? You’re non-corporeal, you can just float. Do ghosts get tired enough that they occasionally need to lean on things? How’m I suppose to suspend my disbelief when it gets challenged so?” –The Mighty Captain E

“The problem with Family Circus is that just the first two panels would have made an incredibly funny comic. Know when to stop adding, Jeff!” –Dan

“Forget about Kitty Cop, let’s hear the ‘fascinating’ story of how Buck’s job works because this oh-so ‘interesting’ character must included at all times, even when he’s not physically present!” –2+2=7

“I understand that Dustin is merely closing the car door, but I prefer to see it as him affectionately patting the car. ‘Who doesn’t treat me like shit? Yeah, you don’t. You can’t hate me, you can’t hate anything. Don’t ever leave me.’” –The Rambling Otter

“I really try for a Wes Anderson vibe in here, and of course I demand they not give me those cowardly thorn-free roses. They’d kick me out of the coven. What would Joy Division think? What you should be asking why Rockabilly Womp Rat wants to frame me.” –jerp jump

“The elderly bystander, played by veteran character actor Tom Skerritt, appears to be a Doordash cyclist. If so, this probably doesn’t crack the top 5 weirdest things he’s seen on the job.” –Navigator

“Gertie has the terrified eyes and frozen smile of someone who realizes they’re going to subject her to the whole story.” –A. Mulyak

“Oh, it’s okay to look at Michelle and Jordan now, because they no longer need their privacy? I don’t agree. Michelle is certainly not fully dressed, and Jordan just shouldn’t be seen in those indecent sweatpants. Wait, a tucked-in tee-shirt, with sweatpants? Yeah, I’m telling you, I really, really didn’t need to see this.” –made of wince

“The People’s Clinic, Santa Royale’s only true Marxist-Leninist medical center, no matter what those revisitionsts at the Royalian Democratic Clinic tell you!” –pugfuggly

“Don’t give up on your dreams, they have teenagers in Africa too!” –BananaSam

“Not a word about Blondie’s fading eyesight? She’s doing a large print 3×3 sudoko.” –Hibbleton

“Dithers has found a form of ‘negging’ that is more disgusting than the sexual one.” –Ettorre

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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