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Folks, it’s Friday, and that means it’s COTW day!

“Is this really the best time to cosplay as the Mad Hatter? I can’t blame Mr. Lilly for losing it. ‘Fifteen cents? And the price tag won’t even stay in one place? I don’t know what kind of drugs they have me on, but you’re not gonna testify against the Knave of Hearts if I can help it, you hear me? Go eat a teacup, doll face!’” –made of wince

And your runners up are also showcased today! Very funny!

“I can easily imagine Jeffy spending months just staring out the window, totally blank expression on his face. And, sure, we can pretend he’s thinking about tulips that whole time.” –Joe Blevins

“I firmly believe that if you are going to give Jeffy at least a faint hope of having functional elbows in the fall and winter, you should not cruelly yank that possibility away in the springtime.” –Poteet

“We don’t see so much of the women coaches, but this brief girls’ basketball storyline shows they’re more than a match for the men when it comes to half-assed motivation. Using implied threats to force players to celebrate the aftermath of a defeat is a morale booster Gil himself would be proud of.” –Schroduck

“Okay, I was able to track down a St. Hilaire and a St. Hilary, but no St. Hilarie. Is Dick Tracy allowed to create its own pantheon now? Will we start seeing fund drives for the St. Pruneface School for the Criminally Deformed?” –Pozzo

“That’s right, Harry L. Dinkle, and the L stands for Lyrical! Now, where’s that organ … ha, I kid, I know it’s that thing with the pipes and keyboard. Whata beaut! Gonna get some good sound offa that baby. OK, ladies, sit back and hold on to your garters, for here’s a little piece I call … Erschallet, ihr Lieder, erklinget, ihr Saiten! Yeah, I guess I should have said sit Bach, you get it? She gets it. Oh, I kill me.” –Voshkod

“Look, I’m trying here. I really am. But you can’t have a strip about Dinkle and the organ and expect us to hold off on penis jokes forever.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“There is a lady with half-lidded Garfield eyes on the right side of the first panel of Funky who looks like she is already just … so … over this we-need-an-organist arc. I’m afraid it’s just getting started, ma’am.” –jenna

“Does a bear shit in the woods? (No, but his wife wishes he did.)” –BigTed

“A plugger puts the seat down if he knows that what’s good for him is fiber, and that’s a big if. Otherwise he can leave it up for days.” –nescio

“This looks less like people birdwatching and more like a scene cut from that Alfred Hitchcock film. No-one seems to be that worried, which I guess is understandable: if I lived in a universe centered around a pun-loving nitwit of a kid, I’d probably welcome death too.” –pugfuggly

“The international System of Units had to invent a new unit measure to describe how little menace there is in a six-year-old boy enjoying bird-watching.” –Ettorre

“To celebrate Women’s History Month, Blondie features a woman with her own business and a woman who will resort to physical coercion in order to finally land a husband. You’ve come a long way, baby!” –Larry McAwful

“I don’t think I’ve ever before seen Family Circus so clearly created as a vehicle to express ‘my kids are morons,’ now of course in its second generation continuing as ‘we were, and possibly still are, morons.’” –Chance

“Anyway, here is the pose for the delightfully humorous cake topper we’ve picked out! We also have a sign for the ring bearer saying ‘last chance to run,’ ball-and-chain table decorations, and a fun pop quiz for the reception: ‘Is Dean getting married because a) he’s afraid of dying alone, b) he’s never figured out how to take care of himself and needs a replacement mom, c) pressure to conform to societal expectations or d) all of the above?’” –TheDiva

Oh, also, you’ll remember that earlier today I posited that the central figure in today’s Blondie was a caricature of someone specific. Well, faithful reader Zla’od did a little detective work and figured out exactly who that specific person is. The answer, given the “family business” nature of the comics, may not surprise you!

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, your comments of the week coming shortly, but first: has anyone heard from faithful reader Baka Gaijin? He’s a usual fixture here but has been awful quiet in the comments lately. Let us know if you know how he’s doing!

And now, your comment of the week:

“I know I’ve been seeing this for decades now, but for some reason I can’t get it out of my head this morning: Dagwood puts his hands in his pockets when he sits down to watch TV. Dagwood … puts his hands … in his pockets … when he watches TV. DAGWOOD PUTS HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS WHEN HE WATCHES TV! DAGWOOD PUTS– I’m sorry. I’m sorry; I apologize. I’m going to go lie down on the couch for a while. Probably won’t bother to take my shoes off, since I have to bend my knees at a ninety-degree angle in order to fit on there in the first place.” –Glarryg

And your runners up!

“I do have to give the Lockhorns credit. They get out and do things far more than my wife and I do, and we actually like each other.” –Larry McAwful

“If Sarge were any good at his job, he’d write up a glowing personnel report on Beetle, praising his ability to manipulate any group into liking him. Six months later, Bailey would be a corporal in the 4th Psychological Operations Group at Fort Bragg, and Sarge would have some new private to repeatedly abuse, maybe one that actually felt the pain and didn’t just get up in the next panel and walk away, one that internalized the pain until it ate them up. That’s all Sarge wants: for his blows to matter.” –Voshkod

“The real meaning of the blues is playing for the Lockhorns when they’ve run out of opera jokes.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The best part of this is that Pam could easily have solved this by helping Crankshaft out of his shirt and chose not to! (It really is the best part, I do not want to see Crankshaft with no shirt.)” –matt w

“I want to know more about Weirdly’s hench, er, animals. Did they join Weirdly at the time of The Great Change? Was there a purge that rejected reptiles and certain birds, similar to the Noah’s division of animals into ‘clean’ and ‘unclean’ but this time performed by the animals themselves? This leads down a real rabbit hole, and at the bottom of that hole is Weirdly’s snake with a rabbit-shaped lump in his middle.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Dustin’s grandpa firmly grasps his sandwich through all four panels, never setting it down, lest someone try to steal it. Meanwhile, Dustin’s dad is enjoying a steaming hot bowl of Cocoa Puffs.” –Mr. A

“If Caesar said anything, his last words were in Greek — Kaì sú, téknon — but Shakespeare is not wrong. Since his entire play is in English, the sudden interjection of a Latin sentence (the language of the cultural elite) would have had the same effect as speaking Greek (the language of the cultural elite) to a Latin audience. However, Latin is unfortunately not as popular as in the sixteenth century, so Dithers should use another non-standard language, which sounds pretentious and it is used by an overeducated minority with little contact with normal people. What I’m saying is, Dithers should tweet a hashtag.” –Ettorre

“How exactly did Roz get paired up with a death row inmate last time? I love the idea that this cut-rate dating service went to the local prison to harvest a bunch of fresh matches, knowing full well that their clients would get burned but would still come back anyhow for another shot at love. It’s horribly and hilariously depressing.” –pugfuggly

“I believe that a real teenager, upon seeing his father enjoying something unironically, might think, ‘How can I destroy this?’ So, yeah, I’ll take this as being realistic.” –Joe Blevins

“Since when do I have to pay taxes? I’m rich!” –TheDiva

“Meanwhile, the dogs are thinking, ‘Man, this old-people drama is getting us more walks than ever. Let’s hope they’re never happy!’” –BigTed

“I’m not convinced that Sarah is old enough to have such a firm grasp of genre conventions, or even what genres are. But I totally buy that she knows Rex would grow bored and want to ditch once Belluso refused his command to come out. ‘Welp, we tried! Let’s be spacemen or something now.’” –Doctor Moreau

“We’re really gonna get off the western story before seeing Buck get bit in the ass by his own horse? God damn it Sarah, do it right or don’t bother.” –Dan

“There is precisely one day, and one day only, when Thirsty abstains from alcohol, and that’s the day he gets to demonstrate that unlike those papist half-apes, his people — the orange-wearing Calvinist Protestants — are decent, orderly God-fearers. Sláinte his ass, he’ll thank God for a Queen to rule over them and get back to his scotch tomorrow.” –pastordan

“If you use a coffee cup, no one knows you’re drinking straight Scotch for dinner.” –Peanut Gallery

“That is literally the stupidest way to relax that I have seen in any comic strip in the last fifteen years, so I’m actually kind of impressed.” –Poteet

“I’m assuming, to maintain my prior belief system on the nature of Hootin’ Holler’s legal system, that Henry is carrying a set of dueling pistols in that black case to ‘settle’ the latest mediation. Gladys is tagging along to meet a soon-to-be-newly-available potential customer.” –Michael Blum, on Twitter

“Nothing says funny like going into a diabetic coma during a shoot-out.” –Maltmash3r

“Many people will cast aside this Rex Morgan, M.D., daydream as nothing more than the writer attempting to stave off the boredom involved with producing a daily strip. But isn’t it more likely that the creative team is trialing different settings — like Jeopardy’s current guest host approach for instance — while monitoring social media reaction to each, before making a permanent change to grow a shrinking readership? Maybe more contemporary settings will be trialed next week. Before you answer, let me remind you of what we’ve recently been treated to: an unlikeable doctor diagnosing an unlikeable patient’s diabetes over Zoom for four goddamn months. Rex Morgan, Amazon Warehouse Employee doesn’t sound so boring now, does it?” –Carsick Yankee

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks! Do not forget that TOMORROW, March 13th, is the triumphant return of my beloved live-turned-online comedy show, the Internet Read Aloud! Featuring Emily Chapman, Patrick Monahan, Kristin Clifford, and Tyler Jackson, plus me, your host! TOPICS INCLUDE: the Tumblr teens of yesteryear, Facebook candle drama, ethics in ad-supported iPhone gaming, defeating Spotify’s revenue sharing, and what people REALLY think of celebs.

Here’s the Facebook and Zoom links for the show! Brace yourself for laffs!

And also, here is the comment of the week, for you to enjoy!

“‘Everything looks delicious, Eve!’ Everything: glasses of ice water, mound of rolls (possible potatoes), unidentifiable baked lump of brown substance wearing goggles (possible Minion).” –pastordan

Not gonna lie: the runners up are themselves very funny.

“A Grown-Up Land rebrand recommended by marketing consultants recommended some colorful pennant flags replace the sign above the door that said ‘Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here’, but they had to keep at least ONE ominous warning sign visible for liability reasons.” –The Great Joe Bivins

“Yum, a chocolate chip cookie and swiss sandwich. With mayo. Yep, feeling menaced.” –Emily Riposte

“‘My brothers are boring. I wish I could hang out with Rex Morgan, M.D., instead!’ Jesus, Sarah just outright murdered two small boys.” –matt w

“Family Circus is so unrealistic. They completely leave out the part where the child reaches that age where their little football head is put into The Machine to reshape it into a regular adult-shaped head. Who doesn’t have fond memory of the cracking and resetting of bone?” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Dustin’s Dad didn’t get happy thinking of spanking his wife, he got happy considering estrangement.” –nescio

“Man, Snuffy sure knows how to insult a local business. This cave-hag hand-crafts each love potion, tailoring it the customer’s needs. She thinks about it long and hard (ahem), researches the plants and animal parts she’ll use, brews with care, and sells the finest bespoke love potions the Holler has ever seen. If Snuffy wants some mass-produced love potion, well, the general store sells 24-packs of Billy Beer for six bucks.” –Voshkod

“‘I mean, what kind of preposterous name for is Rex Morgan for a doctor?’ think Sarah. ‘Clearly this should be a pulp western adventure strip.”’ –BananaSam

“There are actually dust clouds of blow rising from that table. No one on this detail will be getting much sleep tonight.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Now all I can think of is whether an uncanny woman with a disturbingly amused expression is silently commenting on my life to an unseen audience. Hope they like dudes typing at computer screens because that’s all they’re getting for a while.” –Victor Von

“BIBLE CODE ON CEREAL BOXES PLUS CUPID SIGHTING MY VLOG #157.avi” –Urlance Woolsbane

“I read ‘100’ as ‘loo’, and if anything it made Shoe make more sense. Just two elderly British birds, discussing whether or not they’ll make it to the toilet this time.” –Schroduck

“I know just how she feels. ‘Godammit, guys! I don’t care what you’re blathering about, but can’t you keep the noise down? I’m trying to hang up shirts here!’” –Peanut Gallery

“My favorite part of this strip is that it looks like Blips’ butt is talking to Buxley’s breasts, which feel appropriate for a strip about two women discussing their limited paths for advancement in life.” –pugfuggly

“They’ll have a big laugh on Friday when they all realize he’s just been seeing Lisa’s ghost periodically like the rest of us.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“If there’s one constant across all universes, it’s that Rex Morgan will always be evasive and wary of anyone asking him to do his job.” –jroggs

“Politicians! Who elected ’em? I sure didn’t! I haven’t voted in 40 years!” –cheech wizard

“Say what you will about Crankshaft, but it knows how to spice up a boring conversation with unnecessarily dramatic camera angles. ‘Those politicians only care about pleasing rich lobbyists!’ ‘Yeah, they know which side their pork is buttered on.’ [zoom shot from Vertigo]” –Mr. A

“Randy, you’re a judge! Surely you know about castle doctrine. You have the right to defend yourself and the right to bear arms, that’s all you need to take care of this April problem. [waits patiently for Randy to get shot trying to kill a CIA assassin]” –Truckosaurus

“He’s putting the money back in his wallet. Loretta’s going out for coffee with their court-appointed social worker, and she asked if Leroy had any cash. He had two bills in his wallet, and he gave her one, just like when the social worker had them role-playing some basic marital interactions. She was supposed to avoid stretching for some weird supposed ‘joke,’ though. Dammit, they worked on this.” –Tom T.

“That drawing is the most dignity Leroy’s ever had. ‘Enjoy your japes Loretta, but I have nothing to prove. A penny saved is a penny earned. Tomorrow I may be drunk in the background of a sparsely-attended party. I may be sulking in line at the movies and venting my marriage frustrations at total strangers. But today I proudly place a dollar bill in my wallet, secure in the knowledge that it was earned through frugal responsibility.’” –Dan

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!