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Folks, it is time for your first comment of the week of 2021, but first, a link I have been sorely remiss in sharing with you: faithful reader Mark Carlson-Ghost’s comprehensive guide to Mark Trail’s long, weird history. Check it out!

And check out this week’s top comment!

“I’d love it if Tootsie had an alliterative nickname for everyone in her social circle. ‘So then Chatty Charlene told me that Frowny Frances never wants to see Hairy Harry again. Anyway, how’s Dumb… I mean, how’s Dagwood?’” –Mr. A

Also: Enjoy this week’s hilarious runners up!

“Happy holidays from Mary and friends! Well, she could only get one friend to be with her on Christmas — despite the fact that most of the others live in her building — and the one who’s there is mostly in it for the sex (or maybe the muffins). Mary’s advice? Try not to get estranged from your family this year!” –BigTed

“Wait, are they just piling up damp clothes? I know it’s winter, but good lord, at least hang them up. Slim’s nudist lifestyle will be mercifully cut short by black mold poisoning.” –Schroduck

“I like that the dude is drawing the line at killing five men. He’s just a murderer, not a mass murderer.” –Rube

“I like that a full panel of this is just a peace symbol. To remind us who the true enemy is.” –Joe Blevins

“Today I learned something: you can take two distinctive types of vagueness and abut them to create the semblance of a joke! ‘Boy, past year was quite difficult for a number of unnamed reasons. Not unlike the reports that you prepare about the various activities we perform at this company. Coffee?’” –pugfuggly

“Is Saul bangable? On the one hand, he still has all his hair, he regularly goes for walks to stay fit, and he’s never not in a suit. On the other hand: pink shirt, green jacket, beige slacks, and a yellow tie?!” –Ace

“Finally. Some ‘hot lady pulling on khakis’ action!” –lorne

“The Phantom needs someone to shoulder his blame
And so Hawa and Kay are pulled back in the game.
When a guy needs some stooges for damage control,
He can call on the girls of the Jungle Patrol.

That luchador hombre’s an obvious dupe
And Worubu is once again out of the loop.
The gals take up their rifles and shoulder their role
As the cleanup brigade for the Jungle Patrol.

The Patrol is a front for a thug wannabe
Who murders folks extrajudicially.
The girls are accessories, not in control
Of the crime at the heart of the Jungle Patrol.” –Uncle Lumpy

“There really is endless potential in these pluggerized slang terms for sexual partners. Like how a plugger’s ‘side piece’ is an extra order of curly fries, or how a plugger’s ‘young friend on the down low’ is a neighborhood kid who will take fifty cents to crawl under their porch and clean out the dead cats.” –jroggs

“Sorry, but that is infuriating. Curtis, you cannot introduce a talking, trunkless elephant and then end it with, ‘I’m not magic,’ and consider the matter closed. If this was the banal, The More You Know-style, ABC Afterschool Special lesson you were going for, why not use a wise old hobo/possible genie? That would work. Talking, trunkless elephant? DOES. NOT. WORK. I believe it was Chekhov who said, ‘If you introduce a talking, trunkless elephant into your comic strip on Monday, there better be some god-damn explanation for it by Wednesday.’” –Chance

“It’s so great I asked you out to do a thing I don’t like and turns out you don’t either!” –Jay Pennington, on Facebook

“Tootsie’s name was on the van, but after a strong cease-and-desist letter from Tootsie Roll Industries, they had to drop it. The band Blondie is currently retaining counsel.” –Voshkod

“Of course Marvin is number 2. What other number could he be? I’m so tired, you guys.” –els

“‘Ha ha ha! Imagine if this kid didn’t sit meekly in the corner, as he was told, but did so in a way that defied his mother! Wouldn’t that be outrageously rebellious? How wonderfully absurd!’ –The thought process of someone totally unfamiliar with actual children.” –Urlance Woolsbane

“I admire this guy’s outfit. Does he want to be a trucker, or a character in an old Woody Allen movie? Yes. The answer is yes.” –made of wince

“Wilson is telling the random vagabond he’s come upon that Dennis’s parents are just ‘ordinary people‘ and wouldn’t have the financial wherewithal or political connections to mobilize a large scale search should their child go missing or something.” –Hibbleton

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, it’s the end of the year and faithful reader Wanders has once again put together the best of Mary Worth for your consideration for the Worthy Awards! You have the opportunity to vote in such important categories as Outstanding Performance By An Inconsequential Character, Best Prop, Panel of the Year, and, of course, the most highly anticipated category, Outstanding Floating Head. Make democracy meaningful by weighing in!

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Folks! Now is the time when I take my traditional end-of-year break from blogging! Thank you all for hanging in here for 2020, which has turned out to be not …… the GREATEST possible year for all concerned. Fortunately, the production of comic strips, and the mocking thereof, are things that can happen at a social distance, and I promise to keep up my end of that operation as we head towards the light at the end of this pandemic tunnel. See you in 2021, but until then, enjoy this final comment of the week:

“Santa is examining Overall Guy’s mouth to determine his recent facial expressions. He’d better not have been pouting.” –A Concerned Reader

And enjoy these hilarious runners up as well!

“This legacy strip is pulling out all the stops today and using everything they’ve got in their tiny toolbox. Dagwood likes baths, Dagwood loves food, the dog is a passive participant in Dagwood’s antics, Blondie is cooking while repping the westside, the clone children are remarking on their Dagwood’s wackiness while beep-booping on their newfangled techno-gizmos, and the puns are clumsy as can be. Except for Elmo, a bird store, and Dagwood shirking his work responsibilities, pretty much every traditional Blondie comedic element is on display.” –jroggs

“Dustdad knows that most people don’t remember or care much about It’s a Wonderful Life apart from the third act. Dustmom, meanwhile, reflects on the scene where Mary is revealed to be an unmarried career girl and how one person’s nightmare alternate reality is another’s road not taken.” –TheDiva

“Sprite came up with a catchier parody of ‘It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,’ Dagwood. I’m disapp– no, this is about exactly what I’d expect from you.” –Enlong

“Dustin’s father is losing his mind and he will soon be a burden to his wife, so he wants to rub it in her face that he will continue to piss and shit, even when the cleaning will be somebody else’s responsibility.” –Ettorre

“In a salmonella-induced fever frenzy, Dennis attempts to draw the offending chicken, along with the caption ‘Help! I think my mom is trying to kill me!’ It comes out looking like a crude sentient ball underneath nonsensical runes. Henry proudly tapes it over his bed, because it’s the most competent drawing Dennis has ever made.” –made of wince

“That’s quite a pitch: ‘Your last guy left town, and you haven’t cared enough to find anyone else. What do you have to lose?’” –But What Do I Know?

“I see they’re starting off strong with the nerd-dunking-on. Look at this goober who doesn’t know his US states! That’s the one thing nerds are good for, and he can’t even get that right!” –Nemryn

“Is there something behind you, Santa? Something threatening, perhaps? It would be normal for parents to be watching me and you interacting, but they’re looking behind you. It could be that something horrible is about to happen to you, couldn’t it? We wouldn’t want that to happen, would we? Give me the right presents, man, and nothing need happen at all. Got that, Beardy?” –odinthor

“The lack of masks suggests that the pandemic did not happen in the Dennis the Menace universe. So it’s possible Henry and Alice are asking for ‘a better 2021’ for strictly personal reasons and that ‘us’ refers to the Mitchells, not humanity. So please, Santa, let Henry dig his way out of his gambling debts next year … or at least let this family enjoy one meal that doesn’t escalate into an argument. That’s all they ask.” –Joe Blevins

“From Dennis’s black and red scarf I gather that he’s taken to supporting the AC Milan football club. A way to get on Gina’s good side? Someone have a little crush? Anyway, they’ve had a winning season so I don’t see what he’s complaining about.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Dinkle ran things like the… Prussians? Leave it to Funky Winkerbean to get Godwin’s Law wrong.” –Banana Jr. 6000

“Retail is known for being totally cool with it when their employees say ‘Good news, boss! I got a new job, so here are the hours I can’t work any more.’” –Malaclypse, on Twitter

“How is Tommy planning on working 18-hour days? Not by using drugs, that’s for sure!” –Ace

“Assuming that ‘school monitor’ is a job for which Tommy has the necessary qualifications, it likely means that he goes to the school every day and checks off a box on a form saying ‘Yep, it’s still here.’” –seismic-2

“Seriously, is Funky old enough for OK Boomer? Because OK, Boomer.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“The terror on the face of that farmer, a salt of the earth Middle American, as he realizes he’s being subjected to one of the greatest horrors imaginable: free dental care.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Hugging my teddy bear was my way of self-soothing, back when you were an inanimate object! God, I regret wishing you to life.” –Mr. A

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!