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It’s your top comment, of the week, everybody!

“Rex understands that common courtesy dictates that you end conversations with ‘Nice meeting you,’ even if it’s insincere, but he has yet to grasp that at some point you’re allowed if not expected to ask ‘What’s your name’ or ‘What do you do around here.’” –Jenna

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Just remember, you’re playing someone who knows every single one of my warts and flaws. Think of what you already know about me, and then imagine someone who knows all that and much, much more, yet can still say ‘I love you’ without retching.” –Morgan Wick

“Olive oil can falls on woman’s toe and only causes a bruise! Bruise looks vaguely like France! Darkest part of the bruise is in the general location of Rennes-le-Château! Woman dies of blood poisoning while researching the Merovingian dynasty!” –Voshkod

“Remember how excited Rusty got when he was just talking about Jeremy Cartwright? Remember how Mark chastised him for getting too excited? Can you imagine what their respective reactions will be if Jeremy actually stays at their house? What I’m saying is, Mark may have to put Rusty down.” –Mr. A

“I like how nothing in today’s Rex Morgan indicates that it’s a flashback, Rex isn’t even notably de-aged, so it just looks like some deranged old woman is berating him for not cheating on his wife.” –Dan

“‘Two Leses cannot meet each other!’ ‘Does it put the time-space continuum in jeopardy?’ ‘No, it would just be extremely annoying.'” –Ettore_Costa, on Twitter

“Has Hi and Lois acknowledged the COVID lockdown? From Lois’ exasperation, it seems like yes, which makes Hi’s actions (i.e., getting dressed up in a suit to wander around in the rain just to feel normal and escape his horrible family) darkly hilarious.” –pugfuggly

“No thanks, Cherry! We will be eating lunch at A Local Restaurant.” –GeoGreg

“How dare Cartwright interrupt my explanations of every plant and animal on the table to complain that the meat was ‘so dangerously undercooked a well-trained vet could have brought it back to life.’ I tell you Cherry, the nerve of these coastal elites to demand their food be safe for human consumption!” –Corynaut

“A plugger’s version of ‘sweet afternoon delight’ is fighting cognitive decline by making it to the last letter of the alphabet without having to stop.” –grsblvnyk

“‘Say, Nick — do you know who that woman was?‘ ‘What woman? I didn’t see anyone. Unless you mean Melissa Claridge, the ghost who was murdered here 40 years ago, and who now wanders the halls, trying to entice lonely doctors into sexual-harassment suits.’” –BigTed

“Who says Jeremy Cartwright is a discourteous jerk? When someone brags about how their dad ‘takes them’ to their own backyard ‘all the time,’ promptly changing the subject is far kinder than anything I’d have to say in response.” –jroggs

“‘I need a drink!’ ‘What luck! There’s a whole lake of fresh, clean, cool water right behind you, Mr. Cartwright! [begins expounding on geological history of the Lost Forest watershed starting with the Carboniferous period as if he were describing the action-packed plot of a Jeremy Cartwright movie]” –Effluvius Erratus

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, your comment of the week momentarily, BUT FIRST: tonight, at 6 pm Pacific/9 pm Eastern/other times in other time zones, I trust you to do the math, it’s the first edition of the Internet Read Aloud … over the internet!

If you’ve already contacted me to get on the list, I’ll be sending out the Zoom URL in a few hours … but if you haven’t, email me at jfruh@jfruh.com in order to get on the list! Hope to “see” you all there!

But first, you’ll be seeing this week’s comment of the week!

“I hope Mark’s movie announcement is being picketed. He’s punched enough people that they might assemble to protest anything and everything that might bring him joy or prosperity, right?” –DevOpsDad

And your hilarious runners up!

“Look, I hate to do this, but ‘wedding tackle’ was in Austin Powers. And by ‘do this,’ I mean ‘admit that I have a clear memory of the euphemisms Austin Powers uses for his junk,’ not ‘nitpick.’” –Anonymous

“This doctor abused his position of power not to extract sexual favours from a nurse, but to solve some mild annoyance. Truly, Rex has always been Rex.” –Ettorre

“Just in case you were wondering if Marianne might be a character you could like, here’s a strip where she encourages Les Moore to talk.” –jroggs

“Wow Dick Tracy is actually kind of blowing my mind here. You got Howdy Doody (real boy version), a meth head, 30s era gangster, and a fat gourmond whose villainous power is fueled by hipster ice cream. They are mashing so many different genres of crap together that it’s making my sinuses ache.” –ArtistFKAtoxic

“It’s a little weird to point out how illegal what you’re doing is whilst you’re in the middle of commiting a crime, but this is still the most natural dialogue I’ve ever seen in Mark Trail.” –Rosstifer

“The worst thing about a plugger’s ‘accident’ in the kitchen is that it’s huge, because he’s a bear. Also, it smells like cooked cole slaw.” –BigTed

“Les is thinking it’s not the wig color that’s wrong but the wig itself. His dead wife Lisa died of cancer and she was BALD when she passed. Les needs to memorialize his dead wife the way she died, much like Christians depict Christ on the cross.” –jeltranksss

“Wow, Rex Morgan giving Mark Trail some competition for Least Convincing Affect by a Semi-Sentient Automation.” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

“I am rather concerned about the presence within the cafeteria of the orange-haired woman seen over Rex’s shoulder, since she has no face. Perhaps she is at the hospital because she is being treated for invisibility, but I fear it is more likely that her hospital gown is actually … empty. She is the Red Death, and she has come to claim the lives of everyone there. Now, I realize that Rex and June did not in fact die during their cute-meet, but remember that June is telling this story, and this is how she wishes it had turned out.” –seismic-2

“Mock Rocky’s outfit all you want, I’m glad that Beetle Bailey is giving us a peek into his pre-army life as a member of an ethnically-diverse 1980s Hollywood street gang.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Sarge is looking extremely shocked that the guy he’s known for over 60 years is acting true to his one-dimensional character traits. Brace yourself pal, I think Beetle might get lazy later, and it’s all fresh and terrifying to you every time, isn’t it.” –Dan

“Saul has experienced the death of his wife. He grieved the death of Greta’s predecessor. Recently his nameless cousin, who he apparently loved like a sister, died. Saul should understand the effects of grief but he abandoned Madi to Mary, who has never experienced an emotion.” –N.L. Urker, the Phillips screwdriver of the gods

“I always thought that Loweezy was a real large woman, given how she towers over her husband, but look at those giant dollar bills in her hand: she must be pretty damn small, and Snuffy must be absolutely miniscule! I guess the joke here is ‘severe malnutrition.’” –pugfuggly

“Putting the money in a bank is, of course, out of the question. The last bank in the Holler failed in 1933, when both depositors tried to withdraw their funds at the same time.” –Mr. A

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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This week’s ……. top comment!

“My Gram loved colors. Shapes, too … she was really into shapes. Textures, aromas … most of the letters of the alphabet … she was kind of a Renaissance woman, I guess.” –Pozzo

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Today’s revelation that you can’t spell Funky Winkerbean without ‘KY’ will haunt me for the rest of the week.” –nescio

“‘We no longer call our presidents ‘Honest Abe’! Mostly because there has been only one president named Abraham and it would be silly to call ‘Honest Abe’ a George or a John. Sure, lack of honesty is also a problem, but not so much as lack of Abrahams.” –Ettorre

“This Judge Parker may seem to have the most throwaway-able of throwaway panels, but papers who choose to run only the second and third rows are depriving their readers of an excellent opportunity to admire Neddy’s hair. Look at the sheen, the bounce, the luster! That hair is better cared for than any part of your body, that’s for sure!” –Joe Blevins

“Snuffy may not be an educated man, but he’s not stupid. Chicken farm owners press charges for burglary, but you know who doesn’t? The dead.” –jroggs

“I’m really hoping Jeremy Cartwright is a fat, balding method actor who persistently asks Mark questions like ‘What was your mother like?’ and ‘How old were you when you lost your virginity?’ And I hope he breaks into the cabin late at night, eats the leftover pink and orange stuff Cherry so lovingly prepared, and spreads Mark’s pomade all over his chest hair.” –made of wince

“You just know Sarge’s ‘after’ shots involve a toilet. You just know it.” –Voshkod

“I’m sitting next to the guy who wrote Lisa’s Story. Also, I’m, like, one of the leads of the movie, and a major movie star, and the studio should have told you that they’re expecting me on set? Also, since when do security guards explain what movie they’re filming instead of just saying ‘lot’s closed’? This is easily one of the top, I dunno, forty things about this storyline that are completely unbelievable.” –Green Luthor

“Now that Dawn is settled down with a nice ugly Star Wars nerd instead of gallivanting around with foreigners and clubbing with yoga-practicing college professors, Mary needs a new young protégé to keep on the straight and narrow path of respectability. Look at her focusing her gaze, laser-like, on that tuft of pink hair, like a bohemian weed that needs to be trimmed. Gonna have you shopping at H&M before the summer’s end young lady, just in time to thank your father for crushing socialism in the global south.” –Dan

“This is of course June’s fantasy of what happened, and like so many of her fantasies, the rugged Dr. Keith shows up at some point.” –Jenna

“Rex is annoyed because his friend, Dr. Darkest Timeline Mark Trail, is explaining things to him like you would a 5-year-old. ‘Dude, we went to medical school together!’ ‘I remember, ol’ pal. Now, the ankle is a joint above the foot…’” –BigTed

“It’s nice to see the kids recognize that Hi and Lois’s days are numbered so they’re practicing their self-satisfied but wholly unearned smirks in hopes of getting jobs in the Funkyverse.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Snuffy’s drool droplets are indistinguishable from the strip’s usual sweat droplets. Is he just sweating out of his mouth? Does everyone in this strip sweat out of their mouths instead of their skin? Are their giant, flapping tongues some kind of cooling adaptation, like the giant ears of a desert fox? I have never been more interested in this strip than I am right now.” –Mr. A

“Even though it hurts her soul afresh every time, Loweezy always sets out a plump stack of ones and quarters to distract Snuffy from the fact that she keeps meticulous records of his extralegal income, and apparently has been doing so for DECADES. When the revenooers finally descend en masse, well, Snuffy, let’s just say that Hootin’ Holler hath no fury like a woman scorned.” –Doctor Moreau

“I’ll save you the trouble: It’s that antique pocket watch he always has with him. Mr. Trail don’t approve of them newfangled electronic gizmos.” –Peanut Gallery

“Jeremy seems pretty polite for a Hollywood bad boy, with the ‘Mr. Trail’s and all. OTOH, he did say ‘me and Mr. Trail’ putting himself first where usage dictates he should be second. The tension! I can’t stand it!” –But What Do I Know?

“The sheriff is definitely bribing the doc in the last panel, right? I’m assuming ‘kickbacks’ is their code word for some kind of opiate that will keep Snuffy in a pacified haze, or if nothing else at least make him slightly less prone to biting.” –Brad

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!