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It’s time for your comment of the week!

“Change dot org petition to end every Mark Trail comic like this. ‘Well, Cherry, the lifespan of the common wood beetle is roughly’ [JUMP CUT TO BEAR]” –Dan

It’s time for your runners up!

“I have to give the Pluggers artist credit for their ability to imply a dog with a receding hairline. It shouldn’t work but it does.” –RexDartEskimoPi, on Twitter

“Who’s speaking here? Loretta’s gritting her teeth, and Leroy looks like he’s panting too heavily to be coherent. Maybe the car itself is voicing a vague threat, which explains their scramble to escape.” –Bill L

“I like to think Dagwood has been around so long, (Interjection: ‘How long has he been around, Johnny?’) so long, that he still acts like the phone has a cord, out of habit. He can’t place a call because he picks it up and waits to hear, ‘Number, please?’ Dagwood misses yield signs because he thinks they’re still yellow. He never turns his high beams off because there’s no switch on the floorboard.” –White Rabbit

“Mark Trail suddenly looking like a gritty Pluggers reboot.” –pugfuggly

“Last month they read Irma’s choice, Anna Karenina. ‘Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,’ Irma slurred after her fifth shot of vodka, ‘and ladies, I’m living proof.’” –Mr. A

“The real headline in Sarge’s paper today: ‘Man Ghosts Dog.’” –Marcus Theory

“Why does it seem like Lilian is staring incredulously at that woman’s retreating butt? Some people have butts, Lilian. You’ll have to learn to cope.” –made of wince

“‘The Thinker is looking at his phone‘: Bad topical joke, late to the phenomenon. ‘The Thinker is touching his face’: topical and timely.” —Ettorre

“That stunned look is Lilian finally registering that her books are someone’s favorites. It’s the cognitive dissonance, more than the missed opportunity to sell a woman a book her mother already owns, that will eventually cause her delicate mind to snap. ‘I’m tired of WRITING about murders,’ Lilian will say out loud, to no one. ‘I think it’s time to try my hand at COMMITTING them.’ (Spoiler alert: She’ll turn out to be equally terrible at both.)” –Doctor Moreau

“Congratulations to Andy on obtaining Large Foreground Creature With The Conversation Far In The Back status.” –nescio

“Why would you ever ask Les if he’s ‘excited’ about something? What do you think his answer is going to be?” –Joe Blevins

“That’s not a separate compound next to Mark’s house. That’s Cherry’s house, so they can sleep without their private parts sharing nighttime air.” –Jen

“Luckily, when COVID-45 hits they’ll have this strip to pull out of the archives.” –Randllw

“Soon, the Family Circus children will attack each other in an attempt to win their father’s love and to obtain the pride of being the gift-bearer. This was all in the plan: for this father’s day, the only true gift he wanted was bloodsport.” –Mike Podgor

“Well, let’s see — who’s paying for this gift? That’s right. You kids want your Daddy’s affection, you earn it with macaroni and glue.” –Bill L

“Fascinating to see Marvin of all comics take an early stance on a topic that’s been highly debated as of late. Going to present the essential rhetorical question, ‘Who needs cops when we have bladders?’ at the next town hall meeting I’m allowed to attend.” –Irrischano

“If Gil Thorp ends with Corina hitting the winning home run against the Mudlarks, I’ll be happy. If, as she runs the bases in triumph, The Mayor starts triggering the carefully planted explosives around the field, I’ll be really happy. She runs on dark summer night under the floodlights, and as she clears each base, it explodes, throwing shrapnel and Mudlarks across the infield. She slides for home as the light towers go down, shedding sparks like falling stars. She stands, covered in dirt, as the pitcher’s mound detonates, and sheds her helmet, tossing it aloft as the bleachers erupt in fire and The Mayor runs out of the dugout to embrace her. That’s how you hit a home run, and that’s how you end a comic.” –Voshkod

“‘Someone has to protect Lisa.’ From being played by an actress Les saw in an in-flight movie. At an audition all three characters don’t want to be at, for a movie the main character doesn’t want to make at all. If you don’t see the deep emotional stakes here, you just don’t get Funky Winkerbean.” –Banana Jr. 6000

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Without any ado whatsoever, it’s time for your comment of the week!

“Notice the troll doll, symbolizing Trolls World Tour, the film that may have changed the course of history by bypassing theaters and going directly to streaming. To parents of young, hyperactive kids, the real heroes are the ones at DreamWorks Animation.” –Joe Blevins

And here are your very funny runners up!

“I love ‘Doctor Research,’ because it shows the semantic shift going full circle: Title for holder of expert knowledge -> Title for medical professional -> Generic title for superhero -> Title for super hero with medical background -> Superhero whose superpower is expert knowledge.” –Ettorre

“Everything in this strip looks vertically stretched. They must be foreshadowing the day when the unwatchable Lisa’s Story movie gets buried as a direct-to-video release in the wrong aspect ratio.” –Peanut Gallery

“I see Mark dialed back the affect on his Cherrybot 3000.” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

“So … the evidence ‘suggests’ that Count Weirdly ‘may’ be lying. Good luck in court, Slylock!” –Zla’od

“Have any of you ever heard of a guy losing his dog on vacation then trying to convince his family that the problem might solve itself?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“You want your dehumidifier back? Fine. I’ll just keep my castle dry with my weather control device. I hope you like sunny days, because that’s all you’re getting from now on!” –A Concerned Reader

“For once in his life, Les is right. Lisa’s Story is not going to be Alien, since that was a good movie.” –seismic-2

“Mason pulling out a notepad and scribbling down, ‘bitter, petulant one-liners’ while whispering, ‘this is gold, keep going.’” –Dan

“Visiting an old man’s house right now is the most menacing thing he’s ever done, by the traditional metric of ‘Likelihood of ending in Mr. Wilson’s death.’” –matt w

“Dennis correctly points out that he and Mr. Wilson inhabit a timeless dimension inspired by the 1950s/60s period that most old white Americans would classify as the ‘Good Old Days.’ Last week was nothing but idyllic suburban life topped with meatloaf and ice cream, and the forecast for next week is the same thing. What’s your problem, man?” –pugfuggly

“If Saul is grumpy, maybe it’s because he still realizes that tens of millions of dollars worth of prime ocean-view property is being devoted to walking paths and water-thirsty landscaping around Charterstone, yet the condo board, dominated by Mary and Toby, refuses to allow any further development whatsoever. And since Saul will soon have his heart melted by a young person whom he might eventually want to mention in his will, he’d like his estate to include more than a heavily mortgaged two-bedroom that was last renovated in 1956.” –BigTed

“I like to think that Plato’s ‘Science Facts‘ is just Maxwell’s Laws and the Schrodinger equation, plus the text ‘go figure it out yourself.’ The dinosaur trivia is just Plato’s desperate attempt to make small talk.” –Marcus Theory

“I don’t blame Beatty for setting it up this way. After all, Rex actually doing regular medical work is a bigger ‘twist’ in this story than however he met June.” –2+2=7

“Leroy is the participation trophy of husbands. Somewhere, a single woman in the Lockhorns universe reaches middle age. A tube empties of goo, and a single Leroy, one of millions, steps out. When she wakes up, she will discover him in her house and a ring on her finger. Whether she wanted it or not, she has received her participation trophy, and there are no returns.” –Corynaut

“Loretta admits that Leroy isn’t really the problem and that she herself has never made more than a token effort. Call their bearded marriage counselor, this sounds like a breakthrough.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, a reminder that the Zoom show scheduled for today has been postponed but will happen in the future! Please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com and I’ll put you on the list to receive updates, and the URL when it eventually happens!

Happening today right on time: Your comment … of the WEEK!

“Today we address the age-old philosophical question: can Mary Worth create a storyline so dull that the strip itself cannot maintain an interest in it? The answer is ‘yes, if it’s about Toby.’” –Mr. A

And your very funny runners up!

“And that’s why I can leisurely sit around and drink on the job.” –nescio

“Notice the crude patches on both Doc Pritchart’s gown and the curtains. In Hootin’ Holler they don’t know how to spell ‘sterile’ and they’ll never have to learn.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Funky Winkerbean on weekdays: ‘Hollywood pursues dumb entertainment instead of supporting meaningful art like Lisa’s Story.’ Funky Winkerbean on Sunday: ‘I too would rather draw exciting and funny space operas.’” –Ettorre

“‘Just back from Miami‘ combined with sunglasses. Josh, that bird is on cocaine.” –Fattig, on Twitter

“I hope Toby just blindly follows a brownie recipe she finds online and accidentally gives everyone edibles.” –Eric Borer, on Twitter

“Has anyone ever said ‘Is that the face you’re going with this morning?’ and stayed married afterward? No, because no one in human history has ever uttered that sentence and lived to tell about it. Luckily, these two are about to jump right into an argument concerning dream interpretation, without even feeling sad that it’s the most interesting thing they’ll talk about today.” –BigTed

“Of course Alan Parker, the man who didn’t care one bit about prison reform until he spent a few days in minimum security lock-up, needs to contract COVID-19 in order for it to be taken seriously.” –TheDiva

“Listen, Mary, all that’s happened is that dumbass Toby has agreed to provide a dessert. That doesn’t merit an ‘all things happen for a reason,’ it’s not like she found Ian face down in a bathtub full of scotch.” –Northernlurker

“Is she cussing a swear or listening to that horrible swear music the kids listen to? When I was a kid, we just listened to [checks notes] never mind.” –Phil Gonzales, on Facebook

“Well Madi’s not a toddler anymore! She has PINK HAIR! and a PHONE! and listens to music with, uh, NEAR-PALINDROMIC SWEAR WORDS! Also, is she FAIRUZA BALK?” –pugfuggly

“This should be the shortest Mark Trail story arc ever. Andy’s owner is a vet, a vet who no doubt micro-chipped his dog that he lets wander around aimlessly all day. Truck driver, after cleaning what is no doubt 15 pounds of dog shit from his trailer, takes him to a vet, chip scanned, Andy returned. But this is Mark Trail so we probably won’t even see the dog shit until August.” –Terry McG

“This kid is going to be reformed in the process of making an instagram account for Saul’s bow tie wearing dachshund.” –Conynaut

“Ah, Westview, where red stop signs are considered too cheerful.” –Voshkod

“I was hopeful that Les was referring to Crazy Harry the Muppet, because Lisa’s Story with Kermit and Miss Piggy in the lead roles is something I really would pay money to see.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Clearly, Dennis asked to be here. He probably made up some impish excuse about being frightened. In truth, with his deep understanding of human frailties — gained from many hours of painstaking research on Mr. Wilson — Dennis knows that by acting as chaperone, he gives Alice and her dashing dentist the excuse they need to express their desires more openly. ‘Go ahead,’ he says, menacingly. ‘Nothing you do with me in the room could be that wrong, could it? Don’t you want to live deliciously?’” –Navigator

“I like how Lyle is putting so much emphasis on the word ‘living’ while saying ‘closest living relative.’ Um, does Madi have a lot of close dead relatives? How close are they, exactly? Is their house just stuffed with rotting corpses? I can’t decide whether staying with Saul is an improvement or not.” –made of wince

“Tater’s look of indignation in the second panel makes it clear he has no intention of divulging the secret of eternal youth to these degenerate hayseeds. It’s the Illuminati or no one!” –Peanut Gallery

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!