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Mary Worth, 9/6/19

“Yes, ma cherie, I decided I wanted to give you a keepsake, back in the car when I realized you were going to make this a whole … how do you say? … thing. Par bonheur, I had time to duck into the airport gift shop when you were in the bathroom, weeping.”

Sam and Silo, 9/6/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because these women are literally running away from the overt and clearly unwanted sexual advances of their town’s only policemen!

Six Chix, 9/6/19

Hey, guys, the weekend’s coming up! Do you have any plans? Gonna hang out with some friends? Maybe do some late summer barbecuing? Go see a movie? Me, I’m going to be staying in, staring at today’s Six Chix, and trying to figure out what the fuck the quote marks around “like” are supposed to be doing.

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Six Chix, 7/23/19

Look, folks: I make fun of Six Chix quite a bit here, but the truth is, not everything is for everyone, you know? These strips aren’t really written with me in mind, and that’s OK! They’re for people who are maybe a little older, who maybe have little less “edgy” sensibility than I do. Suburban moms who just want to open the paper and laugh at life’s little foibles, to see a joke then can relate to. Who among us hasn’t run into a few problems with short-term memory as they age, right? Who among us hasn’t had long stretches of the day that they can’t remember, that they can’t account for, but feel a gnawing sense that something horrible happened in those missing hours? Haven’t we all had “one of those days,” where you come to, not sure whether it’s “wine o’clock” or even what day or time of year it is, covered in blood, so much blood, you’d think there’d be a body here with all this blood, but it’s nowhere to be found? Maybe the body’s in the closet. Is there more blood around the closet? It’s so hard to tell. The blood is everywhere.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/23/19

You might think it cruel that Snuffy is laughing at his nephew for trying and failing spectacularly to bake himself a tasty dessert. In fact, he’s laughing that anyone — especially anyone who lives with him — would assume he owns anything as useful and potentially economically productive as a hammer and chisel.

Sam and Silo, 7/23/19

Wow, I have to admit that I haven’t been keeping up with the latest currents in Roman Catholic theology, but I’m pretty surprised they’ve gone from Vatican II to “humanity is an infestation of vermin too powerful for even God to kill” in less than sixty years.

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Mary Worth, 5/21/19

As I predicted, Mary has dragged poor Terry Bryson, an actual cybersecurity expert, down to Estelle’s apartment to help her process her post-scam life, emotionally. Terry’s full of stats meant to buck Estelle up, like the fact that the average romance scam cost its victims $14,000, so Estelle, who only coughed up ten large, was actually like 30% less dumb than the averarge dumb person who gets scammed online. Still, I think it’s kind of insulting that Terry is just casually surfing the web as they talk, showing off the fact that she doesn’t need her full concentration to avoid falling in love with some creep who’s using a photo of a handsome male model on his dating profile.

Sam and Silo, 5/21/19

I’m not sure which syndicated newspaper comic I expected to advocate for tax resistance as a form of civil disobedience that could starve the American imperial war machine, but it definitely wasn’t Sam and Silo!