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Mary Worth, 11/4/04

OK, now that we’re almost done with this crystal meth story line on Mary Worth, let’s review the things that we’ve learned:

• Drugs are bad
• People never change
• You shouldn’t give anyone a second chance, even if they’re your own child, because they’ll just break your heart
• Once someone has failed you twice, you really ought to just write them off
• Don’t buy drugs out of an open brown paper bag, as they’ve probably gone bad
• Meth can go bad
• Blue sansabelt pants, a Members Only jacket, and a Eurotrash ponytail do not make for a cool ensemble
• When a mother becomes extremely upset about her son’s misdeeds, her face develops black splotches and she starts talking like Bronte heroine

By the way, Iris, I’m sure that Tommy learned plenty during his time in the joint. Sadly, it was less about the chemical composition of pharmaceuticals and more about making shivs.

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Herb and Jamaal, 11/3/04

Herb and Jamaal loves to do strips in which poetry by African-American writers accompanies some moment in the lives its characters. Which is all well and good, if potentially infringing certain copyrights. But usually there’s some at least vague connection between the poem and the action in the strip. Here, all I’m getting is: “Herb’s mother-in-law: she exists, and she lives in this house.” Which doesn’t have anything to do with the poem, as near as I can tell.

So, here’s my challenge to you, IRTCSYDHT readers: come up with some poem that fits this strip better than this one! I’ll take the best ones and Photoshop the new text in (or, more likely, ask Photoshop blackbelt Dalton to do it). We’ll show that we can beat Herb and Jamaal at its own copyright-infringing game.

(You know, now that I’m looking at it again, Herb’s mother-in-law is looking oddly … busty … in that last panel. You don’t think “walk a high wire” is some kind of wire bra reference, do you?)

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Hi and Lois, 11/2/04

Of course, comics should have a slightly (or perhaps extremely) skewed worldview, but they’re best when that worldview is internally consistent. It’s not just funny when people say wacky thing; it’s funny when people say wacky things and other people react to them as if they’re normal.

That’s why this strip fails for me. Not only is Mr. Thurston’s question about cartoon characters totally without context and deranged (were there any cartoon characters running in previous years? Ross Perot doesn’t count), but Hi’s reaction to this question is exactly what your reaction would be: wide-eyed horror. That’s not a joke, that’s just dementia.

Fun fact about Hi and Lois: Mr. Thurston was once referred to continually as “Thirsty” and had the bright red tell-tale nose of a drunk. Now the nose and the nickname are gone, though the slovenliness and dysfunctional marriage remain. Maybe his question comes from a bad case of the DTs.