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Apartment 3-G, 5/22/05

That may look like just another Wildly Inappropriate Margo Reaction Shot™ in the last panel, which is why Lu Ann is ignoring it and continuing her clumsy dumb-girl flirting. But Margo’s eyes are a little too wide and glassy — I’m beginning to worry that “custodian” is her secret sleeper agent code-word, and that by uttering it Scott has accidentally transformed her into a merciless zombie assassin. Quick, guys, run for higher ground!

Assuming that zombie-Margo doesn’t crack their heads open and feast on their succulent brains, it looks like Lu Ann and Scott are off to a good start: he doesn’t seem to have minded her horrible classist assumptions about him, and the crippling learning disability that leaves her unable to remember the punchlines of simple jokes will also keep her from noticing how often he compares her to his mother. Sadly, however, I fear that one of Scott’s own stereotype-based assumptions — that Lu Ann is blonde and stupid, and therefore easy — is going to come back to bite him in the ass.

Meanwhile, in one of the most egregious instances of soap opera strip laziness ever, Monday’s Apartment 3-G doesn’t just recap Sunday’s action — it actually just copies the dialogue, word for word. Don’t think we don’t notice this stuff, you bums!

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Sally Forth, 5/21/05

Poor, poor Ted. I have to admit that I’ve enjoyed watching his befuddlement this week as his romantic European getaway has been transformed into a hellish family trek through the abomination that is Euro Disney (“all the culture and fun of Disney World, but full of Dutch and German tourists!”) through a process that he cannot control and only dimly understands. Sally’s cutting, emasculating comment in panel three is just the coup de grâce as his hopes and dreams are gutted. Have fun, Ted!

Since we’re picking on Sally’s hubby, I offer him a bit of travelling advice: Ted, lose the polo shirt before you travel overseas. You might as well just have a sign that says “I am an American, please harass/spit on/pickpocket me.” Take a cue from your wife: her all-black ensemble will help her blend right in.

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Jumble, 5/20/05

How lame was today’s comics section? So lame that the first thing that caught my eye was in the first clue in the Jumble. I mean … there’s a cartoon in it, right? And it’s on the comics page, right? So it must be fair game for this blog. Anyway, I never do the Jumble, but it’s pretty obvious to me that the answer to the first clue is “kinky.” Kinky! Right there in the funny pages! My God, the children!

Anyway, in searching for an online graphic version of the Jumble that would save me from having to scan the thing, I discovered to my mingled wonder and horror that you can play a Macromedia Shockwave-version of the game online! No, really:

http://www.jumble.com/play.html

I swear, I don’t mean to sound like an ad for the damn thing — I certainly couldn’t be bothered to actually play, but I’m fascinated that this online version exists. Here is one of the most traditional, snooze-inducing, for-old-people-only comic features available, and it’s making use of cutting-edge (well, OK, 2003-era, but still) Internet technology to establish its Web presence. I mean, what’s next? Flash-based interactive Gil Thorp? Mary Worth virtual reality goggles? An upload jack that goes into the back of your skull and makes you believe that you are Hagar the Horrible? The mind boggles.

Also on the same pages: genuine, authorized Gil Thorp paraphernalia, including a “Property of Milford High Athletic Dept.” shirt. Just in case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas.