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Holy @*[Saturn]#!

Mary Worth, 6/24/11

Mary Worth continues to prove that just because you have no understanding of the ways humans think and feel and act doesn’t mean that you can’t try to heal their emotional pain! Did you experience a moment of life-shattering public humiliation and emotional trauma? Eh, just try remembering it differently, maybe you’ll feel better. Have you become sexually obsessed with someone who doesn’t reciprocate? Probably it’s because you hate your job! Sure, that totally makes sense.

Jumble, 6/24/11

Kudos to Jumble Jeff for taking the time to meticulously depict both of these fictional bears in their native garments (though I’m assuming he also deserves blame for the unspeakable pun that is the puzzle’s answer). For many years I’ve found Smokey Bear’s habit of wearing jeans and a hat but no shirt deeply unsettling. I mean, if he weren’t wearing any clothes at all, that’d be one thing — he’s a bear, it’s natural enough — but wearing pants means that he casually performs his ranger duties topless, which is a little weird. Not until this moment, however, had I considered the full-on obscenity of Yogi Bear, who wears a hat and a collar and a tie and nothing else. Is he some kind of ursine Chippendale?

I’m also a little unsettled by this apparent superstar team-up between straight-arrow Smokey and known criminal Yogi. Do you think Smokey’s co-worker Ranger Smith feels hurt by this? I imagine that Smokey believes that he’ll teach Yogi about agriculture and that will stop the constant pic-a-nic basket theft. He’s going to be pretty disappointed.

Ziggy, 6/24/11

Ha ha, Ziggy doesn’t understand that in fancy finance talk “buying debt” just means “lending money.” Anyway, long story short, some mid-level member of the Chinese Communist Party is going to be the proud owner of Ziggy’s kidneys real soon now.

Pluggers, 6/24/11

Wait, can pluggers swear? I … I don’t think pluggers can swear. Pluggers complain about other people swearing. Young people. With the hip-hop music. And the baggy pants. And yet here’s a cuss, plain as day. I have to go lie down now.

220 responses to “Holy @*[Saturn]#!”

  1. Doctor Handsome
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Ziggy has the exact same reaction to stories about Southeast Asian sex trafficking.

  2. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – I haven’t a Plugger swear this much since our local Country Kitchen stopped offering senior citizen discounts.

  3. Captain Tact
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Ha! Rufus and Joel aren’t depressed because they think Boog is dead, they just think they aren’t getting paid. Little do they know, Slim will reward them with the Lost Treasure of Gasoline Alley- A half-eaten sandwich, slightly used porn magazines from decades past, and a mountain of debt!

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Piranha Club — I don’t know about you, but I’m counting the days until Doris gives birth to her zombie baby:

    (I wonder if GERBER® makes pureed brains?)

  5. Fester Morgenstern
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Yay! Thany you, Josh, for putting in more than three entries today. Keep up the good work!

  6. Flummoxicated
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    MT: It appears we have a record, folks: the sheriff found Myson John in TWO DAYS. Nothing ever happens that quickly in the comics universe! The sheriff is so stupid that I’m not sure how this happened, other than Elrod is as bored with this story as we are.

    MW: I am deeply disappointed in the turn LiZa’s story is taking, which is just punishment for expecting any level of entertainment from Mary Worth. So the crazy obsession is the result of work dissatisfaction. If that were even possible, there should be a hell of a lot more stalking incidents than are currently reported.

  7. nescio
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    I thought Pluggers didn’t swear because words like “chickenfucker” and “dogfucker” are terms of endearment to them.

  8. commodorejohn
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Agnes – I love this strip.

    A3G – “This is my Thoughtful Face. Think, think think!”

    A.D. – Hee.

    Bizarro – A look behind the scenes in Beetle Bailey.

    DT – Lizz getting in a jab despite being tied up I’m pleasantly not-surprised by, but Dick holding someone at gunpoint? I mean, without shooting them? Gah, black is white, up is down, Crock is a good comic strip!

    Dilbert – “Luckily, all we have to do is cut them a check and we’ll go right back to artificially-inflated search rankings!”

    FW – Hahahahaha what. Hahahaha hahaha hahahahahaha what an idiot. Did Batiuk just figure it’d been too long since he’d had someone be a long-suffering martyr standing up to the Establishment? Oh, this is gold.

    GT – Lesson: when you piss Gil off, Gil gets really pissy. Next he’ll be calling out Hobart for borrowing a pen from the office.

    Luann – Frank deGroot, casual cuckold.

    NAOQV – Congratulations for stumbling on the only way to make skee ball interesting!

    MT – You know, somehow there was some part of me that was still expecting them to provide some kind of explanation with an iota of plausibility as to how Sheriff Dad could reach his conclusion from his premises. Ha ha, silly me. I might as well expect mosquitoes to do algebra.

    MW – “I can see forever. Whassin thiz coffeee?”

    Phantom – GEE, YOU THINK?

    RMMD – June, I’d just like to remind you that “‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day” is the perfect opportunity to have her tested.

    SM – They consider Spider-Man the #1 threat to their operations? What, are they in black-market napping?

    Edison Lee – What an awful little shit. Not even the funny kind, either.

  9. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Jumble – I haven’t figured out the solution yet – does this have something to do with what bears do in the woods? If so, then color me appalled…

    Pluggers (again) – I work as a dispatcher for the cable company. Try telling a female Plugger you can’t get a technican to her house to fix her cable for a day or two. Believe me, when a Plugger can’t watch her stories, she swears. A lot.

  10. S. Stout
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Jumble: Josh: Yogi wears a tie/collar to cover his neck because back in the day animation was difficult and expensive. When he turns his head they don’t have to animate the neck turning, just the head.

    Luann: I’m now convinced Greg reads this site. He’s completely backpedaled on Nancy being a bitch and Frank being a pushover. He’s actually giving Brad a chance to get another job like a normal family would do. Hell, he’s even acknowledging that Nancy likes T.J. a little too much! Thanks for visiting Greg!

  11. Effluvius Erratus
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: You’d be surprised how much a fella can love you these days, Lu Ann, what with Viagra and Cialis and whatnot.

    A3G Redux: Today’s unintentional punchline reminds me of the church in my neighborhood that had on its marquee, “Open up and let Jesus love you like never before.”

    FC: Dolly just questioned the difference between appearance and reality, putting her developmentally light years ahead of her siblings, and probably her parents and grandparents.

  12. mojo
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    “Liza … REAL love is mutual!” “Oh … like you and Dr. Jeff?” “*COUGH* *SPUTTER* *HACK* *CHOKE*WAITRESS! Geez, what does it take to get a goddamn menu around here?”

  13. Doctor Handsome
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Of course pluggers can’t swear. Pluggers don’t even understand how swearing works. I curse like a sailor, but I have never, in a moment of abrupt frustration or pain, exclaimed, “Oh, no!” and then let loose with the profanities. This swearing seems like premeditated, like chicken-lady keeps such a tight leash on his language that he has to pretend to lose his keys in order to passive-aggressively call her a cunt.

  14. Josh
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#10): The artists all visit this site, obviously, but nothing here would cause any plot to change course so quickly, as comics are required to be submitted to the syndicates many weeks in advance.


  15. Liam
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Jumble-Ranger Smith is being used for the fertilizer.

    MT-Wow! The logic here just escapes me. The thief was wearing moccasins. John Thrasher wears moccasins, therefore John Thrasher is the thief. Of course this sort of thing is expected in Mark Trail world where everyone just stumbles through life and Mark is the only competent person.

    MW-Real love? Like the love that you have with Drew’s dad who you henpecked until he is a shell of his former self or the unnatural love that Wilbur has for his daughter.

  16. ArchieNemesis
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Love Is: The thrust lines around Roberto’s naked crotch, his clenched face, the pride and fascination on Kim’s face as love notes spurt into the air … I’m really starting to like this strip.

    Shoe: Wouldn’t it be weird if there was a parallel universe in which Shoe was actually funny?

    MT: The Black-Eyed Peas song “Let’s Get Retarded” would make a great soundtrack to this strip.

  17. Sgt. Saunders
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Plug: So let me get this straight. Pluggers have the primary car key on a ring with the spare house key, and the primary house key on a ring with the spare car key. My head hurts.

  18. Maggie the Cat
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    I want Mary to slap some sense into Liza. Nothing with much emotion, just the cold hard facts delivered in a prim, manicured, elderly palm.

  19. Mark B
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MT: See! He’s wearing moccasins! That’s al the evidence I need! Wait, what’s that on your feet, Mark? Arrrrgh!

  20. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Luann: I know out there, somewhere, is an animal with a penis shaped like a whisk.

    Most likely amphibian or marsupial; in fact I’m willing to bet Miz DeGroot learnt it from Quill. However, I got rather sidetracked, however, when googling “weird animal penis”.

    (Particularly since the weekend is coming up, during which none of us deserves a date with the ECT techs, I urge you to retain the word “animal” when running this search.)

  21. commodorejohn
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#20): Ducks, man. Full fucking stop.

  22. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT – If I were these people, I’d be less concerned about who is or isn’t a thief, and more concerned with that giant bird that’s fixing to poop all over them.

  23. Saluki
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    “Wow me with your wisk.” Is that code?

  24. Maggie the Cat
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    A3G- Good question, LuAnn.

  25. Mr Foofram
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    I’ll agree that BARF UTERI is an unspeakable Jumble solution, but it isn’t much of a pun.

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    R&R: twins? where did these two come from?

    A&J: I like today’s strip in his blog better.

    rMC: yeah, we all know people like Rex.

    A3G: LuAnn is getting a dog. you read it here first.

    AD: oooo! Wolfie haz a fierce!

    Bizarro: O_o

    JUMBLE: backstory: Yogi was brought in as an edibility adviser (and to supply two more letters) after the obvious issues with Smokey’s initial orchard planted with O|N|L|Y Y|E|W

    Luann: /headdesk. repeat.

    NS: see above. (can we get Wiley and Lynn together in the next car in Gasoline Alley?)

    PBS: ROFL!

    Tank: more profanity. and the closest thing to a funny in weeks, if not months.


  27. elegantmechanic
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    I am less interested in Mary and Liza’s conversation than I am in the brown substance in Mary’s cup. She’s clearly tipping it about 45 degrees to the left and yet the solid brown mass refuses to spill out. Old people struggling to move brown solids is more what you would expect to see in a Pluggers strip.

  28. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#9):

    Since you mention bears crapping in the woods, I’ll mention that Roofie
    (One Big Happy) has me equally appalled by what she observed on James’ underpants:

    (I linked to because gocomics ran a totally different strip for 6-24!)

  29. Pseudo3D
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    FW: Maybe Les is controlling Susan like a ventriloquist.

    MT: Good lord, can you imagine if this is how law enforcement worked in real life? “We found some tennis shoe prints at the scene, and this man is wearing tennis shoes! He obviously must be the culprit.”

    S-M: Worst criminals ever.

  30. But What Do I Know?
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT — Apparently the sheriff never took that Logic 101 class in college where they teach you that the reasoning “A is a property of C” and “A is a property of B” therefore “B and C are the same” is false. What am I saying–they don’t hold with book-larnin’ sheriffs in them there parts (wherever they are.)

    The Ghost Who Doesn’t Talk — Well, aren’t you going to say anything? You know, something about how the real Phantom has lots of helpers who dress up like him, and they go around to different stores and ask little boys and girls what they want for Christmas, but that the real Phantom lives in the Skull Cave with the Bandar people and he comes out once a year to fight the bad people. If you don’t answer him soon, the African Harry Potter is going to stop believing in magic. . .

    Luann –Whisk this, bitch. . .

    RMMD — “We’re interviewing a woman to replace Berna.” You don’t say! Slow down there, and let me recap the plot line for June (the month.) Dex gave Rex a boat. Berna’s replacement is coming for an interview. That is all. . .

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @Sgt. Saunders (#17): Xrist. I’m a Plugger. #%&!@

  32. But What Do I Know?
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#29): Sheriff Encyclopedia Brown Saves the Day!

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#30):

    God is Love.
    Love is blind.
    Stevie Wonder is blind.
    Stevie Wonder is God.

  34. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#32): Does this mean that John Thrasher is Bugs Meany in disguise?

  35. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . while Bill Clinton plays the sax. [*]

  36. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Beetle – That’s life in the Army, Cookie. You ask, you get told. Sarge doesn’t want your “meatballs.” At least he still wants your “bologna.”

    Gil – Watch and learn, logic lovers! Today, Gil’s going to prove a negative!

    Mark – Faced with the twin circumstances of moccasins and facial hair, Mark reluctantly throws John under the moose.

  37. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Momma – Momma could spend less time cooking if she made, say, two cupcakes at a time instead of just one. On the other hand, who cares?

    Non Seq – Nick Meglin’s comedy is never unintentional.

    Phantom – “We’re gonna have to start calling you Ghost-Who-Bleeds!”

  38. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man“…I shall rid you of him forever!”
    He can do it, too, because he was bitten by a radioactive Lamont Cranston. Chances are, though, he’ll just cloud their minds so they think they’re rid of him. He’s a jerk.

    @Baka Gaijin (#y261): A pendant isn’t necessarily the sharpest implement in the jewelry box.
    No, but it’s learned a thing or two by hanging around.

  39. Dennis Jimenez
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MW – Mary doesn’t look right in panel two – like her eye are too close together or something – and this psycho-babble style meddlin’ doesn’t sound like our good ‘ol Mary either. Is it possible that the real Mary is a chained sex slave in Dr. Jeff’s basement, and this is some sort of look-alike imposter? Something to think about, isn’t it – Dr. Jeff employs Dr. Ruth in this insideous plot to possess the very fiber and soul of his purient desires – and all this Liza/Drew stuff is just a smoke screen whipped up by Moy and Giella to throw us all off the track – yeah, that’s the explanation I’m going with….

    Jumble – OK, me too stoopid to really figure out the puzzle, so it’s really like hitting the lottery for me to actually get it – but bears and woods – “Bear Shits” would fit….

    Ziggy – I mean if it Karma Ziggy references – after 30 years of this strip, the bill’s pretty steep….

    Pluggers – I wonder if noted symbologist Robert Langford could crack the whereabout of the keys….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  40. Digger
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    From what I can tell, the first two Jumble words are CRACK and METH (with an E on the end). What subliminal messages are being sent here?

    Pluggers only swear when they stick their hands in their pants and come up empty.

  41. Tagged
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: I’ll be glad when this storyline is over..full stop.

  42. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Meanwhile, the plugger wife haplessly pecks at the windows.

  43. commodorejohn
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#35): God dammit, now you’ve got me picturing Clinton guest-starring in Love Is…, and there’s something I’m never going to be able to un-see.

  44. Dan
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    The coffee in Mary Worth seems to be overflowing from their cups.

  45. Ranger
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I see Rex has taken up a side job at the Wilson & Nolan Garage. They even gave him a uniform to wear.

    Zits: I personally feel Jeremy is the most unlikable character in the comics universe. You’re not “Coastal”, you’re just a douche. And who even buys a surfboard while living in Ohio? Must be some mean breakers on Lake Erie. Did I mention I hate Jeremy?

  46. Little Blue Bicycle
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#39): “Mary’s” abnormally long hands and face suggest alien replacement to me.

  47. Esther Blodgett
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    S-M: “Hahahahaha! I enjoyed your little joke. Now seriously, who’s actually a threat to your operations? Come on, I’m a busy hooded figure.”

    MT: Mark’s got his bold on. And he’s marshalling his giant bird army. Things will get exciting any week now.

    FW: Who says that? Who says “tendering my resignation”? On the other hand, I love how Les recoils from Susan as if she just announced she has cooties.

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    a cupful of squee.

    The Daily Puppy is a floofy Golden.

    O Hai!.

    the lol-snark and squee were few and far between today. :-(

  49. Hibbleton
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Maybe Rex should sell the boat and buy a front door that’s over five feet tall.

    BB: The joke might have been funny if Cookie had asked “what do you want on your ‘meatball’ sandwich?” Of course, when you’re merely transcribing old strips, it’s easy to drop a word or two.

    JP: Officer McDufus is cleaning his teeth with a futuristic electric toothpick in panel two. WTF?

  50. Esther Blodgett
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Jumble: I think Smokey is working undercover. He and Ranger Smith agree that Yogi is a mutual problem. When Yogi’s back is turned the shovel will fall, and there will be a freshly turned mound of earth at the back of the orchard. And then Smokey’s “Only you can prevent forest fires” campaign will find itself fully funded for the next decade. Boo-Boo will quietly be shipped off to a nature preserve in Idaho where he can’t talk to the media. Problem solved.

  51. Comcis Fan
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    FW: Oh, this is just patently ridiculous. Also, there’s a caucasian flesh-colored orb floating behind Les and Susan. I know what you’re thinking about that orb, and I refuse to say it.

    MW: She looks like Mrs. Olsen of Folger’s fame.

    Pluggers: Pluggers cuss now because the oldest Baby Boomers became eligible for Medicare this year. Not only does that make them Pluggers, but when they signed up for the first time, they let out a collective @#&%!

  52. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Jumble: Do Yogi and Smokey have a Beetle-and-Sarge thing going?

  53. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Shhh! Mary’s having one of her “you’re soaking in it” moments.

  54. Effluvius Erratus
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Well now, College Boy, who told you phantoms don’t bleed? The Monster Manual?

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43): here, maybe this will help?

  56. rotts
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Josh – since nobody else has said it so far, I have to: it’s “Smoky Bear”, not “Smokey THE Bear”. But you already knew that, right?

  57. Effluvius Erratus
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#51): Woah! That means that someday, there will be a Plugger sitting on an airplane whose idea of a good pilot is the stone temple variety. I pray the zombie apocalypse will happen before then!

  58. Navigator
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Luann: “Also, we haven’t had sex since I found out your seed was capable of producing Brad and Luann. So you should be worried about that too.”

  59. pugfuggly
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MW: So Mary’s advice is …what, exactly? “Well dear, it’s obvious to me that you hate your job because you’re bad at it, and nobody will return your affections because you’re clingy and delusional. Maybe you should quit your job, give up on love, and I dunno, join a cult or something. I think it may be the best you can do….”

    Ziggy: There doesn’t seem to be any kind of banner on that newspaper? Is it an informational pamphlet sent over by our new economic overlords, or did a chinese consortium buy up the NY Times and simply rename it China Buys U.S. Debt, Suckers!

    A-SM Ah, Stan Lee, master of suspense. I hope they keep us in the metaphorical (and literal) dark all of next week too….

  60. Greg
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    MW: Beyond Ms Worth’s worthless (see what I did there?) pontificating, I’m more upset by the laughable perspectives going on with the coffee cups on the table. Mary’s is ROUND while Liza’s is ELLIPSOID. Artists could get away with this in Giotto’s time, but… I don’t know how to finish that sentence.

  61. Anonymous
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Mark B (#19):

    /looks down/

    “son of a….I’m wearing moccasins too!! Well, I wish I could arrest the both of you, but I think I’m going to have to take myself in first…”

  62. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    S-M – I just wonder what they’ll say is the number one threat to their legal operations, and what the glowstick here will do about that.

  63. Gulielma
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    PBS: I love how Pig is unconcernedly having a drink while Rat goes batshit crazy.

    Doonesbury: “Why now? [therapy] I’ve been begging you for years.” Perfect.

  64. TheDiva
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    MW: Well, there you have it. There is no problem–absolutely none whatsoever that Mary cannot solve with watered-down pop psychology and a well-worn aphorism or two. Ah, if only we’d had such a woman throughout human history, how things might have been different…

    “Countess Bathory, you can bathe in the blood of virgins all you like, but will it really make you feel better about yourself? Real beauty comes from within!”

    “Mr–the Ripper, was it? It seems to me that butchering prostitutes is not the best use of your talents. Think of all the good you could do with your surgical skills!”

    “Adolf, maybe this desire to conquer Europe and wipe out the Jewish people stems from a need to prove your self-worth. Isn’t there a better way you could do that? For example, you could make a lot of money on the lecture circuit!”

    Pluggers: Of course Pluggers can swear. Get them going about them damn libruls in Washington, and they’ll use language that would make George Carlin blush.

    9CL: Would YOU listen to you if you didn’t have to, Seth?

    DT: You idiots! This is not the real Doubleup. You’ve captured his stunt double! His stunt double! [*]

    FW: Having failed to prove her love for Les by committing actual suicide, Susan attempts to do so by committing career suicide and is rather more successful. Meanwhile Les feigns shock at the announcement, while secretly grateful that his romantic entanglements have been solved without any unpleasantness, or indeed effort at all, on his part.

    Luann: What does it say about this strip (and/or myself) that I initially read the word “cook” as…something entirely different?

    MT: “That’s ridiculous! Why, you could say I’M guilty, because the robber stole a television and I have a television in my home!”
    “Say…you’re right! Get your hands up where I can see them, Trail!”

    PBS: From the Crankshaft line of home furnishings, no doubt.

    SM: I don’t know who this is, but anyone capable of producing their own nova is bound to be a serious threat to Spider-Man.

  65. S. Stout
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#14):

    I know some do, but all? I can’t see certain artists coming here.

    You’re right though, I forgot about the advance planning.

  66. But What Do I Know?
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47): MT — The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming!

  67. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43): God dammit, now you’ve got me picturing Clinton guest-starring in Love Is…
    No resemblinks. It’s pretty clear that the original artist had an unrequited crush on Desi Arnaz. I expect the female character must be a wacky redhead.

    @rotts (#56): Smokey himself has referred to the middle name in some sources, and there’s that song by which busloads of school children have learned to sing about the bear. The “official” version of the name doesn’t stand a chance. Also, there’s an “e” in “Smokey.”

  68. Lurker Bob
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Jumble: I’d just like to point out that the first three clues of today’s jumble can be used to spell, “Crack”, “Meth” (forget an “e”), and “buy ton”. Jumble Jeff seems to be subliminally encouraging us to start taking drugs.

    Hmmm…let’s see. If I unscramble the words, one possible solution is: “eat rib fur”, it could explain why neither bear wears shirts, but there are too many words. Other possibilities are: “Tear bi fur”, “Fear. Rub it!”, “Rub I After” and “Bit Ear Fur”

    If I try to get the right number of words and letters, I wind up with “Tube Friar”…I don’t know what that means, but it sounds kinky and I am beginning to see a theme here. There is also the possibility of “Bare Fruit”, which could explain Yogi’s pants less state. The possibility of “Barf Uteri” as a solution clearly indicates these bears disdain for the fairer sex and really goes a lot farther in explaining the semi-clothed, Village People-esque appearance. The possibility of “Fair Brute” implies that our two semi-clothed protagonists are about to get a bit rough, perhaps?

    Frankly, this is the most shocking, subversive Junior Jumble that I have ever read. It reeks of Ursine homo-eroticism, drug use and sexual practices that could cause the Marquis de Sade to blush.

  69. Anonymous
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47):

    S-M: “Hahahahaha! I enjoyed your little joke. Now seriously, who’s actually a threat to your operations? Come on, I’m a busy hooded figure.”

    Yeah, spidey’s incompetence aside, isn’t the Marvel universe’s NYC literally crawling with superheros that are plenty more capable? I mean, you’ve got everyone from the X-men to the Avengers to Daredevil and Ghostrider. Superheroes with mutant and/or supernatural abilities of demigods, and you’re worried about one costumed twit whose ‘spider powers’ don’t seem to do him much good, even at the best of times??

  70. pugfuggly
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#69): that was me….

  71. Binder's Butter Beans
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    “Ursine Chippendale” would be a great name for a band.

  72. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#67):
    Smokey the Bear, Smokey the Bear
    Prowlin’ and a growlin’ and a sniffin’ the air.
    He can spot a fire before it starts to flame
    That’s why they call him Smokey, that was how he got his name.

    The fact that I remember this is a little disturbing.

  73. seismic-2
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MT: I want to see “Rambo” Myson snap at this outrageous and unjust attempt to haul him back. I want to see him go all John Im-going-to-string-you-up-in-a-snare-and-then-skin-your-worthless-hide-for-more-moccasins-and-then-poke-you-in-the-back-with-a-stick-and-then-impale-you-through-the-torso-like-a-goat-with-a-word-balloon-and-then-chop-up-your-idiot-ass-into-shards-and-bale-them-up-using-a-gigantic-John-Deere-wheat Thrasher on him. And by “him” I of course mean Mark, who just can’t leave a guy alone no matter what he wants. @#*&%$!!! [*]

  74. Kinghasnoclothes
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    FW: Bravo Susan! There’s a lot of growth potential in leaving Lesworld.

  75. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh good, I was afraid the psychic was a charlatan.

    DtM: If Dennis is subtly threatening to tell Alice about the escort service charge on Henry’s credit card statement, he’s well on his way to getting his menace back.

    SFx: Stood a little too close to the pirate. Luckily these are old shoes.

    OBH: “Brown smurfs”? When did Parker and Stone take over the strip?

    Baldo: “Bring down the whole success thing”? What the hell does Sergio even do?

    JP: Apparently the arbitrary time limit where police allow hack thriller writers to do the job for them is about up. There’s so much about New York municipal law that I don’t know.

    BB: Guess what, Sarge? As soon as you’re not looking, Cookie will rub his “meatballs” on your sandwich anyway.

    H&J: That’s the thing about putting two characters in boxing gloves. If a third party happens to be drawn with flipper hands that can somehow grip a coffee mug, you draw even more attention to that.

    DT: Hey Dick, was it your shapely leg that snapped forward and sent Doubleup flying into the water? I think not!

    Blondie: You just don’t fire a man in front of his dog. It’s part of the grumpy boss’ code.

    9CL: I don’t know how it came to be that a cross-dressing Ronald McDonald is barfing on Seth’s couch, but there probably is some justice to it.

    Big Boss: Tell me, who do you consider the #1 threat to your illegal operations?
    Three Not-So-Wise Men: Spider-Man!
    Big Boss: Ha ha ha! You guys are great! Never change. But seriously, who?

  76. Dennis Jimenez
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Kinghasnoclothes (#74): More is Les-less….

  77. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47): Oversnarpologies on Spidey.

    @But What Do I Know? (#66): And life in the fast lane will surely make them lose their minds.

  78. John
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Jumble: The true solution to the puzzle is FIRE U-BRAT. Obviously they are planting a ton of trees on a mountainside sloping down towards the city, and then setting fire, using the slope to have the fire spread quickly and burn the city down with little warning to the people. Their picnic baskets will be full of roasted humans. Someone should call Ranger Smith to avoid this horrible act of terrorism.

  79. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#67):

    According to my research [nods to Earl Pickles], Smokey Bear’s first screen appearance was in this Walt Disney cartoon:

    (Look for SB’s cameo at 6:10)

  80. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @Kinghasnoclothes (#74): Lesworld? Hey, I heard about that place. It’s like Westworld, but instead of the androids going crazy and killing off humans, they just contract digital cancer and die.

  81. Captain Plaid Pants
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    MW: So yesterday Mary is teasing us by holding her left hand as if it will commence slapping any second now. Today she taunts us with her right hand held in a frozen karate chop. I want this beat-down to happen so badly, I have the comics-page-violence-against-clueless-stalker equivalent of “blue balls”. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I had it.

  82. Red Greenback
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    A Plugger’s “spare key” is a rock.

  83. Randalll
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    The bears are not planting an orchard, they are constructing a bear outhouse. (What do bears do in the woods?)

  84. seismic-2
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    JP: Just wait until Constance sees that there is now a Smokey-and-Yogi Topps card. Watch out, Angel – Constance will kill to get her hands on today’s Jumble!

  85. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @rotts (#56): According to the WikiGods it’s “Smokey Bear” but the common tongue does usually add a “the.”

  86. Mark B.
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    DT: Scarlet Sting? Apologies, I’m on the wrong set. I’m the Crimson Crunk! Crimson Crunk!

  87. Esther Blodgett
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#77): Great minds…I actually liked yours better. :)

  88. the good ship thetis
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Is Jumble word #3 a Gil Thorp reference (NUTBOY)?

  89. Red Greenback
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Hmm, let’s see: We have two partially-clothed bears engaged in a post-shrub planting conversation. I’d say the solution to this Jumble is: GROW OPIUM.

  90. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#79):

    Smokey Bear also appears in this Woody Woodpecker cartoon from 1957:

  91. Esther Blodgett
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Mr. Pluggerdog is going to feel pretty silly when he remembers that Pluggers always leave their car windows rolled down because no one would ever want to steal a ’82 Cutlass.

  92. But What Do I Know?
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#72): No you’re not crazy–but if you have kids, you can drive them to insanity by singing that little jingle==or so mine claim!

    I’m just going to come out and say it–the Jumble answer should be “bear fruit.” I would never take the time (have the mental power) to actually verify that guess. . .

  93. nescio
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Dan Piraro emailed me back. I’ll paraphrase but he said he made a model of a Mobius strip and drew from that, and he maintains that his drawing is correct. I wonder if his model is correct. Anyway, I disagree but time to move on.

  94. Aviatrix
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    I spent too long trying to cram BURN DOWN or CATCH FIRE into today’s Jumble.

  95. Gloom Raider
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: “@#%! I’m dating a giant chicken in a dress? When the *@$! did that happen?”

  96. Esther Blodgett
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#93): I’m pretty impressed that he responded. Good on him. Thanks for sharing!

  97. Mark B.
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#93): You can easily verify it’s not a Moebius strip by tracing one edge. The strip has two distinct edges instead of the one that a Moebius strip would have. No biggie, anyway. I give him props for attempting such a nerdy math joke.

  98. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Jumble: Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindy Bear, but what about Smokey?

  99. Aviatrix
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Sgt. Saunders (#17): Nah all the spare keys rattle around loose in a drawer or the glove compartment, labelled with twist ties looped through scraps of brown paper. Pluggers just don’t put them back in the right place when they’re done.

  100. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Gloom Raider (#95): Mmm…barbecue.

  101. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#98): Oh, Cindy Bear’s been sleeping with Smokey for years. That’s why the confronation in the woods and the shovels.

  102. Lenoxus
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    So is it a Plugger thing to have a car old enough that you can accidentally lock it and a house new enough that you can accidentally lock it? That’s the inverse of the combination I’m used to; to lock my family’s old house from the outside requires the key, but our newish car will unlock if you close it without holding the door handle open, so there’s little risk for either. Maybe that’s not a widespread feature of modern cars, though.

    Future-pluggers remember when the e-security combinatorics only involved two systems that could prevent access to the other one. And when it happened, hell, they were grateful.

  103. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#92): It doesn’t work that way in my house. Tot and Dot would either a) complain that it’s not Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift, or b) insist that I sing the damned thing over and over until I’m the one being driven to insanity.

  104. Ned Ryerson
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @the good ship thetis (#88): Haha, nice catch! Nutboys, they’re shitty!

  105. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#101): Smokey and Yogi just removed the middlebear? (and buried her?)

    yup, Sarge&Beetle all the way down. . .

  106. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Car keys? Aren’t all pluggers’ sweet-ass Cordobas hotwired?

  107. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#101): Many have fallen for Smokey’s pick-up line. Put out a forest fire, indeed.

  108. Professor Fate
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    MW: “Real love is mutual, my realtionship is more of a master slave sort of deal.”

    Luann: A wisk? And this is what happens if you are plotting a major change by the seat of your pants.

    9CL: Laughter or vomit? you decide.

    PBS: I’m tempted to yell this at things I own and they are already assembled.

  109. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): Either that or it involves Boo Boo. I honestly don’t know, and I’m not really sure I want to.

  110. Ingeld
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    The cryptic answer to the Jumble– “Bear fruit” is obviously a politically incorrect reference to their forbidden love.

  111. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#45): “And who even buys a surfboard while living in Ohio? Must be some mean breakers on Lake Erie.”

    Well, I feel obliged to point out that this Hawaii boy surfed a Lake Michigan seiche in Spring ’70 just off of Indiana Dunes Park. Riding an old, beat up 7′ longboard that I got for $5 at a garage sale in Evanston. The waves were 4-5′ and all chopped out. There was ice in the water still, and I froze my kadongas.

  112. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Yogi’s proclaiming that “our pic-a-nic baskets will soon be full” is a metaphorical reference to their blossoming relationship. Either that, or he’s just eternally hungry.

  113. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Ingeld (#110): So would I be correct, then, that “bear fruit” == dingleberries?

  114. Alan's Addiction
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Ah, I see that Mary Worth is going for the cold, blunt, and brutal approach to breaking the news to Liza that her stalker-crush doesn’t love her back. However, she only mentions it for half a sentence before the segue into what I suspect will be a nine-panel-long lecture on what love should and shouldn’t be. I know she’s going into lecture mode because her cartoonish features are somewhat idealized to make her look more like a human, and the strip’s artists only do that before something big happens. The question is, will the lengthy, boring lecture be enough to chase away the horror of Liza’s realization that Drew doesn’t love her? Let’s hope not! That way, the meddling hijinks can last a few more weeks before the next clumsy storyline.
    I have a hard time believing today’s “Jumble” premise. The characters of Smokey and Yogi are both over 50 years old, which means their character traits are pretty well-known to most Americans. I just can’t imagine Yogi doing anything that doesn’t involve petty theft or running from Ranger Smith for committing petty theft. Similarly, there is absolutely NO WAY that Smokey Bear is doing anything not involving fire, or warning people about fires (look at it this way – when was the last time you saw Smokey and you didn’t also see or hear the word “fire” less than two seconds later?). So, I just can’t see the two giving up their only known activities to engage in productive, cooperative agriculture. Unless Yogi’s planning on stealing from his own orchard and Smokey’s planning on starting a fire there as a lesson about fire safety.
    I like to imagine that the headline on Ziggy’s paper is merely incidental, he’s actually looking at an add for a sperm bank and posing his question towards that institution.
    I don’t know about Pluggers, but when I’m swearing, I usually don’t lead with “Oh, no!” because that’s what five-year-olds do. I guess that today’s Plugger cussing lead-in serves as a warning for those who don’t want their retinas seared by the image of censored dirty words.

  115. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Has Yogi taken the measure of Smokey? Is he an average bear?

  116. cloudbuster
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    9CL: Edda is clearly trying to entice Seth to take her from behind. Just the way Fernanda likes it.

  117. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Actually, I think today’s Jumble is an anthromorphic version of Full Metal Jacket, with Smokey as Hartman and Yogi as Private Pyle:

    ‘What is your major malfunction, Yogi? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?’

  118. forgot
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    bear poops #@!$%^$#@!@#$&*&^&%!@#$#@!%^&^%$#$$$#@@@#!@@%^%$#&^*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!brain bleach

  119. AtomicDog
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    #72 Scott Bot – Now sing it to the “Spider-Man” theme!

  120. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    BUMJEL: I suspect it’s Yogi proposing the “agricultural” venture to Smoky, and asking Smoky’s advice on remote, south-facing slopes not too far from streams. Sorry, folks, that trail’s closed till fall! High fire risk!

  121. Ingeld
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Look, it is all very simple and all very politically incorrect. Smokey can spot fires from a distance. Yogi as a “flaming” homosexual is only perceived by Smokey who likes what he sees. The two of them together have “bare” bodies so their sexual inclinations make them “Bear Fruits.”

    Now was that so hard?

  122. Editer
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Smokey is going bear-chested! Haw! Haw!

  123. Darryl Heine
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Glad the Jumble artist drew Yogi Bear and Smokey Bear together? What’s next? Garfield meeting Sylvester? Snoopy meeting Scooby-Doo? Mickey Mouse meeting Chuck E. Cheese?

    NOT SHOWN: For Blondie – On the annual “TAKE YOUR DOG TO WORK DAY” strip Dagwood has a found a way with Daisy to protect Dithers from firing Dagwood.

  124. Gloom Raider
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#100): Only if he can get her out of the dress…and I have now officially disturbed even me.

  125. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    You would think this plan to settle down, plant an orchard and wait for the soon-to-arrive full pic-a-nic baskets would arouse some jealousy from Ranger Smith.

  126. Jessy
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Snarpologies if anyone has already made this observation, but since when does a reader of the cards hold them like a poker hand? Also, isn’t the idea of a spirit guide a Native American philosophy in which the spirit takes the form of an animal? I don’t think Madam Psychic will find the spirit guide in a tarot deck. But I am probably wrong. Luann would never be taken in by a fake, right?

    FW: That’s right, Les, just say nothing. This is clearly Not About You and thus is of no conceivable interest.

  127. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    What’s Yogi’s next money-making plan, strip-mining Jellystone?

  128. Ingeld
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Alternate Caption for Pluggers. “You know you’re a plugger, when you are out on a date with a “hot chick” and you suddenly realize you really do need a prescription for Viagra.

  129. Vince M
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#30): MT: I expect soon the sheriff will have Mountain Man and a really, really big duck on a scale.

  130. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    “Cute. Kids really do say the darnedest things!”
    “No, Mom, seriously — what is that patriarchal drivel, anyway? Stupid story!”

    War of the sexists dept.
    The above is an example of a valid feminist criticism. Why is Prince “Charming” the be-all of a young woman’s life? He might as well be Bill Clinton! But, naturally in our pop culture, such trenchant, if unintentional, commentary is lost in a sea of the usual male-bashing. You’ll see what we mean in this (not) MAD look at…


    Writer: Mibbitmaker
    Artist: Wally Wood

    Ms. Play Misty For Me — job dissatisfaction.
    Mr. Looks Like Capt. Kangaroo — Loathsome drunk creep.
    Double standards much? (not saying the second one isn’t true…)

    NS: Furshlugginer sexism!

    END *

  131. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#93): The reply got me interested enough to cut out a strip, color one side and try to replicate Bizarro.

    Based on the drawing, either of you could be correct. The key is what happens behind the crossover portion of the “strip steak”. It’s easy to make the case that the top white strip of fat dips from R-to-L behind that crossover and comes out as the bottom strip of fat on the lower left of the crossover. And if you make a full twist and connect the test strip, it looks like a figure 8 but distorts to look just like the drawing. That’s your conclusion, and if you’re right, it’s not a Mobius strip.

    On the other hand if you assume the top white strip of fat stays at the top as it dips R-to-L behind the crossover — then you can’t see it after it goes behind the crossover, and what comes out the lower left of the crossover is still the bottom line of fat. And in that case, it’s only a half twist and it is a Mobius strip.

    Tie goes to the fella what drew it, but your interpretation’s not at all unreasonable.

  132. moss
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    The scrambled words in the jumble also suggest an odd message:
    crack, theme, bounty, unfair

  133. Écureuil Écumant
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Oh Unk cantcha pleasepleaseplease let #118 stay? Just turn the link into text? Canya huh? The lesser bots need dada examples of this caliber.

  134. Bring me the Hart of Johnny
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    I suck at anagrams, so I consider it a major accomplishment that I could solve each clue today (May I go home now? My brain hurted me). Usually I get three out of four and just make a guess at the final answer.

  135. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Yogi’s not wearing moccasins! The mountain man filched all those pic-a-nic baskets!

  136. Bring me the Hart of Johnny
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    I suck at anagrams, so I consider it a major accomplishment that I could solve each clue today in the Jumble(May I go home now? My brain hurted me). Usually I get three out of four and just make a guess at the final answer.

  137. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Darryl Heine (#123): More likely, Garfield would meet Heathcliff…

    Garfield (to Heathcliff): “I’m rather stale nowadays and hardly all that great, but, brother, compared to you, I’m freakin’ ‘Krazy Kat’!”

  138. Stroker Ace
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Jumble – Smoky can’t maintain a physical relationship. Whenever his partner gets hot Smoky beats him/her with a shovel.

  139. Marc
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger (#45):

    As someone who lives in Buffalo, I can attest that there actually can be some pretty mean breakers on Lake Erie. There is a spot on Route 5 which runs along the lake, and everytime there is a storm, the news stations all send out a reporter to stand on the road as the waves from the lake come crashing over the side of the highway.

  140. Marc
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I should add though, I agree Jeremy is a douche and nobody surfs on Lake Erie. If either of those two really needed saying.

  141. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I dunno, Lu Ann, ya got me! Haven’t a clue.

    BC: (to the tune of K. C. & the Sunshine Band)
    “Shake shake shake
    Yer neck neck neck
    By my fa-angs!
    By my fa-angs!…

    (no, the BC wolf is not Doubleup in disguise, why do you ask?)

    ReFOOB: Phil drums for the Muppet Show band, doesn’t he?

    GA: 1) Way to be tragically sadistic there, Scanky! And, b) Car crushers don’t work that way!

  142. Lurker Bob
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: I must be doing something wrong, I can’t get the clues to spell out “Double Trademark Infringement”….

  143. Marc
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Baily- Sarge will gladly have Beetle’s meatballs though.

    Luann- Oh I get it, ha ha. TJ banged Nancy.

  144. Calico
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Aw, I think I know the answer to Jumble (without even doing the puzzle!) but I am not a spoiler type of gal.
    It must have been the fantastic, buzz-inducing Irish Coffee I had after a terrific meal with terrific friends at Le Charbon last night! (Now that’s a restaurant Yogi would love!)

  145. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Ha, ha, Ziggy, don’t ever stop breaking that fourth wall. By the way, are you on the crapper?

  146. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    GT: Oh, Hobart annoys everyone! (God bless him)

    JP: Dammit! Damn those straw fascists!

    MT: Really, sheriff! Inspector Clouseau thinks you’re an idiot!
    Well, to be fair, he could’ve easily been the one to capture Whitey Bulger. Okay, this sheriff would’ve captured Whitey from “Leave It To Beaver”, but still……

  147. Calico
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Lurker Bob (#142):
    My silly (incorrect) answer: Mark Trail

  148. Sylocat
    June 24th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    “Ranger Smith?” I thought Smokey’s coworker was Ranger Rick.

  149. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man double-header

    S-M: “Oh, by the way, I just radiated all of you. Sorry ’bout that. It’s really not so bad, trust me.”

    S-M: Panels 1 & 2: Okay, here’s your “unintentional comedy”, Wiley!

  150. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

  151. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43):

    God dammit, now you’ve got me picturing Clinton guest-starring in Love Is…

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#67):

    No resemblinks. It’s pretty clear that the original artist had an unrequited crush on Desi Arnaz. I expect the female character must be a wacky redhead.

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the characters in Love Is… resemble “Lucy” and “Desi” from the animation buffers in I Love Lucy:

  152. Calico
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sylocat (#148):
    Ranger Smith is Yogi’s nemesis.

  153. MWDG
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Good God almighty…what is that solid dog food like substance in Mary and Liza’s coffee cups? I didn’t know Mary was into scat?

    I don’t know where Mary, an unpaid hospital volunteer, gets off giving Liza, an RN, advice. This is pure foolishness. Liza needs to run!!! not walk out of that miserable diner before Mary offers to give her a pelvic exam or some lactation tips.

    Liza looks very very butch in panel one and her very presence may have sent Mary into a post menopausal rage! Perhaps we need an apperance from Terry Bryson?

  154. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#87): Many thnaks.

  155. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Reeky Rat is shaking his head at Myson Mike for sullying the good name of the burglary brotherhood with that inane cover story. Face powder. Moccasins. Cave. “Feh,” says the Ratman, “this wouldn’t even fool that mouse in the bowler.”

  156. Lurker Bob
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    More fun with Jumble: If you take all of the letters in the four clues and stir them up in a pot, here is what you can get:

    “Hence Furry Buttock Mania” – This explains a lot!

    As long as we are “borrowing” from other comics and their characters, using the same methodology, I came up with:

    “Hence Batiuk fan, cry tumor”
    “Batiuk, Cancer en thy forum”
    “Batiuk, Thy Cancer: more fun!”

  157. Tim
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Every time I see Smokey, I am reminded of this:

    A 15-foot tall creepy Smokey greeting small children by name? Now that’s entertainment.

  158. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “Who could love me that much?” I’ll give you a hint: It ain’t your roommate whose initials are Margo Magee.

    Zits: Hey Jeremy. I hear they have tasty waves about a half-hour’s drive over in Westview. Try the pizza. It’s to die from for!

  159. kkarenb
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#50):

    I recently saw a couple of Smokey PSAs on tv, and in each one he concluded with, “Only you can prevent wildfires.” I don’t know when that changed.

  160. Austria
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    FW: And then suicide happened. Seriously, you guys, I’m going to keep predicting this until it happens.

    GF: How much does it say about me that when Bucky said “Hoover” my first thought was not the vacuum, but Herbert Hoover, the president? Then I had to wonder what Herbert Hoover had to do with eating everything, and then I realized I’d interpreted it wrong.

    Luann: “Wait…you mean there are other jobs out there? Really? Everything I know is a lie!!!”

  161. Liam
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    BC-The dog would rather have booties made from your flesh.

    Love Is-The conflicting feelings to make a joke about a horn that she wants to blow but liking the innocence and simpleness of the series too much to make a joke like that.

  162. Liam
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    JP-That’s it boys she isn’t going to jump. It looks like we will have to shoot her off the ledge.

  163. Mustang
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#13): I think it’s supposed to be read “Oh No! (Pause as the realization of the enormousness of the calamity sets in) “@*#!”

  164. cheech wizard
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    MW – Gaaack! Look at how self-satisfied Mary is in panel 2. This is so simple for her, isn’t it? Why doesn’t she just tell everyone “Liza/Drew/Dawn/Toby/Aldo, why don’t you just get your head out of your ass? It’s easy!”

    Of course, doing that every episode would make this strip even more monotonous than it already is. Then again, it might lend a certain cachet, sort of like Lucy yanking away the football.

  165. bats :[
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#147): dang…it fits!

  166. Bill Peschel
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#28): Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! FREAKIN’ OW!

    One Big Happy turned into Marvin so slowly we never noticed.

  167. greghousesgf
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Cindy cheating on Yogi with Smokey didn’t work out. Every time she got hot he threw dirt on her and hit her with a shovel.

  168. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: More important than figuring out what’s going to happen to their orchard is figuring out which one of them is: (A) (F|U|R) (B|I|T|E|R)

  169. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#159): Sam Elliot doing the voice like he does on the radio spots? (along with Ranger “Smokey is famous and you’re not” Warburton!)

  170. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    OH! I forgot to mention it earlier, but Weaponized Ted Forth is back, heavily armed, and without dainty wrists. (Huey-X gets the great line, however.)

    just thought y’all might want to know.

  171. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#16):

    Love Is: The thrust lines around Roberto’s naked crotch, his clenched face, the pride and fascination on Kim’s face as love notes spurt into the air … I’m really starting to like this strip.

    Okay, you got me curious. So I look up today’s Love Is… and I see the caption is, “All that jazz.” No, really. Somebody doesn’t know the havoc could be called if a photoshopper changed just one letter.

  172. cheech wizard
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    OBH – This is either really racist, or really gross

    MT – “The thief also had two feet, and your friend here has two feet.”

    Phantom – “You’re obviously not a ghost.”

    “And you obviously know too much. You took a bullet out of me – now I’m going to put one in you.”

    SF – I’ve been wondering where Cassandra Cat has been the past few months. Based on today’s pirate, I’d say she’s been drawing the strip – naked.

  173. cheech wizard
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    FW – Situations like this were handled so much better in Lone Wolf and Cub. I’m surprised Batuik didn’t take a few pointers.

  174. Crankenstank
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    Josh, Smokey is clearly a “bear” which is some sort of category of homosexual, so I’m told, typically a hirsute personage fairly low on the evolutionary chain who does things like walk around with jeans and no shirt on. Um, so I’m told.

  175. Crankenstank
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t cuss. They say “asterisk star saturn hash exclamation point” when they do something like this, but they cannot spell these words, so they use the symbols instead. Get an asterisk percent dollar sign asterisk exclamation point exclamation point clue!

  176. Dennis Jimenez
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#127): Thar’s jelly in them hills….

  177. TheDiva
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Kinghasnoclothes (#74): For ordinary people, perhaps, but not for Suicidal Susan. She hasn’t gotten over Les in the twenty-whatever years she was away from him; she’s certainly not going to start now. Poor girl, to miss out on all that life has to offer because left her heart in Funkytown.

    @MWDG (#153): Congratulations, you found the one thing that could make “2 Girls 1 Cup” even more repulsive.

  178. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    The Hair Bear Bunch would be the ursine group growing mushrooms, poppies and hemp.

  179. cheech wizard
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MT – Mark knows that John is innocent. On the other hand, if John goes to prison, his family and friends will be able to see him again, so he just goes along with it.

  180. cheech wizard
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#30): re: Ghost. Frickin’ brilliant. COTW nominee.

  181. Red Greenback
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    I sincerely hope Ziggy isn’t referring to his shirt.

  182. Liam
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    MT-I want to see John Thrasher Billy Jack the sheriff.

  183. Anonymous
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#175): “Boxcar!”

  184. gleeb
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#160): Well, old Herbert Hoover was US Food Administrator during the Great War, but since that led to “meatless Mondays”, I guess that’s the opposite to eating everything.

  185. Effluvius Erratus
    June 24th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#182): That would be effin’ sweet. Between Mark’s fists and BillyJohn’s feet, the sheriff would come out looking more hideous than Rusty.

  186. This Guy
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#160): RE GF: This is probably a lot to do with Conley’s being an Anglophile again–they use “Hoover” as a verb meaning to use a vacuum cleaner.

  187. John E
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Bring me the Hart of Johnny (#134):

    @Bring me the Hart of Johnny (#136):

    I cheat by using the Internet Anagram Server

  188. Katy
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    The dippiness of the self-immolation in Funky Winkerbean is encouraging me to eat all the carbohydrates in my house.

  189. gnemec
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers curse, in their own way, like old-timers on family television shows: “Dagnabbit!” and “Cheese and Crackers!” In this case just read the symbols: “Spiral Star Saturn Tic Tac Toe!”

  190. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#75): Guess what, Sarge? As soon as you’re not looking, Cookie will rub his “meatballs” on your sandwich anyway.
    And that’s how the Army makes a Manwich!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#79): Before I look, I’ll guess “The Ranger of Brownstone.” (…) Darn, no cigar. I will note, however, that this was the cartoon that alerted even the obtuse, inobservant child-me that Disney had a serious butt fixation. Instead of “In the Bag,” it should have been called “In the Butt.”

    @Dood (#107): Many have fallen for Smokey’s pick-up line.
    I think it was Buck Brown who drew the immortal cartoon with the female bear telling an amorous Smokey “Not until you take off that silly hat!”

    @Dood (#115): Is he an average bear?
    He will sleep till noon
    But before it’s dark
    He’ll impregnate every female that’s in Jellystone Park!
    Yogi Bear is fatter than a hippo’s ass
    Just because he’s lower than a snake in the grass.

    @Vince M (#129): I expect soon the sheriff will have Mountain Man and a really, really big duck on a scale.
    “If he weighs the same as a duck… he’s a wood man!”

    @Calico (#152): Ranger Smith is Yogi’s nemesis.
    You’d think, but he was also a pretty serious enabler. I’ve got a recording off of an LP where Smith sings this kiss-ass song to Yogi that shows he knows who’s the star of the show and who’s just a bit player who’s gone as soon as the star decides to quit.

  191. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#190): pickin’ up the paper, put it in the bag! bump-bump!

    I loved that ‘toon as a kid.

  192. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    So this Jumble is like Jellystone meets Firestone.

  193. Roktober
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    If the Plugger Dog is angrily saying “son of bitch!” is he really cursing or just accurately describing his role in life?

  194. Dood
    June 24th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: More terrifying than asterisks and other top-level keyboard symbols is the prospect that plugger chicken lady might let loose with a piercing buh-gackkkk over those locked-up car keys.

  195. Scott Bot
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#194):
    When you find yourself in danger
    When you’re threatened by a stranger
    When it looks like you will take a lickin, (buck, buck, buck buck)
    There is someone waiting who
    Will hurry up and rescue you
    Just call for Plugger Chicken (buh-gackk!)

  196. BigTed
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t swear. This one is saying “Gosh!” — and is so ashamed by the blasphemy that he’s censoring it with symbols in his own mind.

  197. But What Do I Know?
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#180): Many thanks!

  198. Little Guy
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43): With Hillary.

    MT: What a dumbass sheriff. Everyone knows it’s Shady Shrew.

    Candorville: This better have a Deborah Ann Woll cameo on Saturday.

  199. littlestevie
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Is Nancy telling us she likes T.J.’s 12 inch whisk instead of Dad Degroot’s mini-whisk. I know Frank is thinking “its not the size of the whisk, but its how you use it”. Unfortunately, for Frank, he loses on both counts.

  200. ArchieNemesis
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m pleased that so many others of you are disturbed by the chicken-lady in Pluggers.
    Does she drop eggs, or give live birth to their offspring? What’s wrong with her headcomb?

    She doesn’t even have facial expressions, for God’s sake, because she’s a bird. At least dogs are mammals, and understand spoken language, so I can kind of see the cross-over to human traits.

    But why not just pair him with an alligator and complete the poor dog-man’s misery?
    Thanks for listening, I feel better now.

  201. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    A couple of quickies…

    Yogi the Bear was never the same after his stomach stapling surgery:

    Remember — Only TERRORISTS Start Forest Fires:

  202. Baka Gaijin
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#200): You know, that’s one area I don’t really want to think about on the Plugger anatomy: anything related to reproduction. Besides, everyone knows Pluggers reproduce by binary fission (AKA asexual reproduction).

  203. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#202): isn’t that what FurAffinity is for?

  204. ArchieNemesis
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#198): Slowly at first, then with accelerating intensity, all intelligence was sucked out of the woods. In the vacuum left behind, the mountain lions fell from their trees, bears walked in circles, trout floundered on the riverbanks, and the owls hooted “Huh? Huh?”

  205. The Ridger
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @rotts (#56): Ahem. I remember the song. “Smokey the bear, Smokey the bear, a-prowlin’ and a-growlin’ and a-sniffin’ the air: he can find a fire before it starts to flame! That’s why they call him Smokey and that’s how he got his name.”

    So, Smokey is Smokey the bear. :-P

  206. The Ridger
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#72): Damn. When will I learn to read on????

  207. Aviatrix
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    Yogi and Smokey have the same last name, (maybe Smokey’s family Americanized his to just Bear while Yogi’s kept the article the way it was in the old country) so perhaps this joint business effort is a family business.

  208. The Ridger
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#140): If you Google “surfing lake erie” you can even find videos of people doing it …

  209. Mr. O\'Malley
    June 24th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#93): @Mark B. (#97): I traced the edge and it turned out to be a Moebius strip for me. I’ve been wondering what people are talking about.

  210. commodorejohn
    June 24th, 2011 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): Damn, beaten to it.

    More information about oviposition can be found on the Internet.

  211. Mark B.
    June 24th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O\’Malley (#209): I guess it depends on how you interpret how things are connected in the portion which is hidden behind the front loop. The full twist interpretation seems more obvious to me because of the way the angles fit together. It’s certainly not the most important issue in the universe …

  212. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 24th, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    AG3: I’ve got to give AG3 credit for modernisation. This is the first psychic I’ve ever seen who uses a cell phone to contact her spirit guides.

    GT: I read the second panel as being a front view of Gill Thorp, and the speech balloon as coming from Hobart. Apparently, however, the speech balloon is coming from Gill, and the person the hand is pointing at is somebody else. If the artist is going to make everyone look alike, I wish he’s at least put in labels.

  213. ms. docweasel
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]



  214. demoncat
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Liza expression is saying yes you may be right Mary but i refuse to give in and accept your meddling powers. mary is sitting there saying only a matter of time before you give in and accept drew does not want you and find new work.

  215. Filthy Assistant
    June 24th, 2011 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    In yet another round of “Guess the Jumble Answer Based On Applicable Puns Because Fuck Actually Trying To Do the Puzzles”, I’ve come up with “BEAR FRUIT”. Originally I thought “BURN DOWN” but that’s a letter short and not a pun. Oh, Jumble Jeff. You and your wordplay fixation.

  216. Andrew
    June 24th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy… Instead of getting confused by newspaper headlines why not just try to sell something of yours since you can’t seem to afford pants.
    (The lawsuits from the restaurants for bringing in animals and possibly dead vermin I’m not surprised)

  217. Sgt. Stoned
    June 24th, 2011 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    MT: Hey Sheriff Sherlock, shouldn’t you at least be checking those moccasins for traces of face powder?

    MW: I guess Aldo Kelrast had a job that sucked too! But he’s out of his misery now.

  218. Liam
    June 25th, 2011 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    MT-It is time for Mark to prove why he graduated first in his class from the Slylock Fox Correspondence School of Detectives.

  219. True Fable
    June 25th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m late. So the Jumble answer wasn’t ‘shit in the woods’? Damn.

  220. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 2nd, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @ms. docweasel (#213):

    Nice post, thank u for this great work! Absolutelly agree with you!

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