Rex Morgan: White Collar Crime edition
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/20/07
Uh oh, it looks like June and Pete’s plan to take advantage of a man’s death and seize control of a multi-billion dollar corporation has hit a snag: Rex’s sense of right and wrong, by which we of course mean Rex’s petulant refusal to do what his wife tells him to. I note that June skips quickly from the “we need to help our dear friend in her hour of need” angle to the “insider stock price manipulation” angle.
Ziggy, 4/20/07
Yes, every day our once free nation becomes more and more of a police state by degrees, and who notices? Only Ziggy, apparently. If only more people cared about free speech and civil liberties. And about Ziggy.
The Lockhorns, 4/20/07
When I first saw this caption, I read “antidepressant” instead of “antiperspirant.” Frankly, I like my version much better.
michael
April 21st, 2007 at 2:12 pm
How bad is it when ZIGGY makes political commentary?
Hysterical Woman
April 21st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
This is the first time I’ve ever seen a Lockhorn that wasn’t about their failed marriage. Unless moisturizer means lube, that is. (Bad mental image there!)
Daisy
April 21st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Luckily it’s political commentary that doesn’t seem to be about any particular real-life thing, so it’s not *too* upsetting to my world-view. The day Ziggy really becomes relevant, now THAT will be frightening.
Dingo
April 21st, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Mark Trail
to the melody of ‘Jet Song’ from “West Side Story”
Snake: (Spoken) Against Mark Trail we need every man we got.
Jake: (Spoken) Those beavers don’t belong anymore.
Sally: Cut it, Jake. Beavers never belonged ’round Mark Trail. ‘nuf said.
Cherry: He acts like he wants it but then it’s like it doesn’t belong.
Rusty: Who wants beavers around? Well, who?
Cherry: Mark ain’t looked at my beaver for over a month.
Sally: Want me to clobber that beaver for ya?
Jake & Snake: We’ll clobber your beaver, Cherry!
Grumpy: Women. There’s a fine kettle o’ fish.
All: Ewww!
Rusty: Look out! Here comes Mark!
Mark Trail: (Sings)
When you’re Mark Trail,
You’re Mark Trail all the way
From the edge of Lo-Fo
To the great Hudson Bay
When you’re Mark Trail
You can hit Diver Dan
You can spin him around
And fuck him in the can!
You’re never alone,
You’ve got friends, well by golly
From the ubiquiducks
To the shape-changing Molly!
When you’re Mark Trail
With a capital T,
You can do what you want
Go outdoors for a pee!
When you’re Mark Trail,
You can do it with glee!
Rusty: (Spoken) Once Mark asked me if I’d like a golden shower. I thought it had somethin’ t’do with stuff in the sky.
Sally: Did it?
Rusty: Let’s just say there was a cock on the wing.
All: (Sing)
When you’re Mark Trail you don’t look for romance
And you don’t give a damn when the looks are askance
‘Cuz the forest supplies you with all that you need
From the food for your plate to the playmates you breed
And though the chicks dig you, ubiquiducks spy,
It’s those sweet hirsute woodsmen that catch Mark Trail’s eye!
Dan: (Spoken) Hey. Cool. Easy. Sweet. I was in the Army before meeting Sally. I can bear down on a cock like an anaconda with a sucklin’ pig.
Cherry: You’re in luck. Mark is a thoughtless, little pig.
Rusty: Ain’t that little, Cherry… if y’get it hard.
All: (Sing)
When you’re Mark Trail
Your the biggest dick yet
If you’re questioned ’bout it
Say it’s just sobriquet
When you’re Mark Trail
Your right hook gets its way
Any sweet little ass
Can serve you as your quay
Don’t even think to call a ranger
Mark Trail can smell your sense of danger
His right hook is in gear
His cylinders are clickin’!
Sweet patoots steer clear
He loves an ass that chicken!
Yeah!
Reepicheep-chan
April 21st, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Man, first June had to talk her husband into giving Nickie’s mom a job, now this. Does that damn woman ever shut up?
Tony Blare
April 21st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Is it wrong for me to be mildly excited by the fact that June is barefoot in the first panel? And if so, how wrong is it, really, in the grand scheme of things?
Tillman Fan
April 21st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I’m a little concerned that comic images of June Morgan cause me to get “the urge.” Oh, yeahh.
Trotzebonnie
April 21st, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Dingo –
Hurrah!.Another masterpiece.
I always love your show tunes.
And I love West Side Story.
But now I have this nagging image–instead of Tony, I see Diver Dan singing “Something’s Coming” with slightly altered lyrics.
TurtleBoy
April 21st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Am I the only one creeped out by the random people Joe Giella inserts into MW’s panels to interject a “sense of realism”? (Today’s installment features a blandly nondescript mustaschioed dude who’d look at home fishing for muskies with Anthony Caine on some small lake in southern Ontario.) It reminds me of early Nintendo games like Zelda II, where the towns you’d visit would be populated by characters (many of whom were identical) that had nothing to do with the game’s resolution. The effect on the player was a disconcerting sort of busyness.
Is Charterstone so overcrowded that its halls are forever clogged with dorkish white guys and interchangeable twentysomething chicks with ponytails?
evie oh oh
April 21st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
On and unrelated note…Is anyone finding the humor in Crankshaft. I’ve tried and tried to understand why we should be laughing at hedge pruning jokes (unless there is something sexual, in which case, that makes me feel more like weeping). I’ve even tried reading them aloud in a cranky old man voice, thinking maybe that is the key…alas, it still seems like a bunch of old ladies listening to ed talk about gardening.
SixFootJen
April 21st, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Is Loretta slathering $25-an-ounce moisturizer on her armpits?
Weasel Boy
April 21st, 2007 at 2:41 pm
“I think my moisturizer and my antiperspirant are cancelling each other out…and I hate my husband.”
Blade Thorpe Runner
April 21st, 2007 at 2:48 pm
From the previous thread ( I was out mowing the yard)(No, not cleaning the garage, get your mind out of the gutter):
#227 – Islamorada Girl: Thanks for the update.
#229 and #4 – Dingo: Nice Job! I wish I could do show tunes, but I don’t know any.
#230 – John: You’re acting a little out of sorts. Maybe Mary Worth can bake you a pie.
In today’s thread – I think June Morgan is reverting to her old Romulan self. Old Rex better put his shields up and be on red alert when he gets home.
Gabe
April 21st, 2007 at 2:49 pm
What the hell is this? There’s no photos! Really, you should stick to photowhoring, Josh. This isn’t even funny.
And there are other comics out there besides Ziggy and the Lockhorns. Why you always droning on about them?
Kurdt
April 21st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Ziggy and The Lockhorns are two of the worst comics in the paper and deserved to be mocked until they die, Mr. Critical.
Muchacho
April 21st, 2007 at 2:57 pm
June is hot. Period.
RaJ
April 21st, 2007 at 2:57 pm
June’s positioning in that Rex Morgan strip is almost as sexy as Neddy’s in yesterday’s Judge Parker. Not that I begrudge some sexy (read: deeply unlikely (no seriously, try it)) posin’, I just think it’s a bit glib during such a grim situation. Now if Abbey and Neddy were just relaxing by the fire in teddies, sipping hot cocoa, that would call for more sexiness. As it is: not so much!
Also, the only one who should be wearing the T-shirt Mary’s got on today should be a twelve-year-old boy. Except, the “blang! blang!” sound-bubbles would be coming from extremely-detailed firearms. Also, I would hate that kid.
Gabe
April 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Kurdt: I will refer you to a Mr. “John” (if that is his real name) and the commotion in the last thread.
Daisy
April 21st, 2007 at 2:59 pm
There was nothing wrong with John’s feelings, it’s just that he needs to learn to keep his crushing negativity and embitterment inside his thought balloons, that’s all!
Like thus: Speech balloon– “Great blog, Josh!” Thought balloon– God, how I despise you all.
Moon Mullins
April 21st, 2007 at 3:01 pm
#4 Dingo: Awesome.
#14: Kurdt: Gabe was making fun of a troll from the last thread who said CC always did the same comics.
reader-who-posts
April 21st, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Lockhorns: I really don’t want to think about what’s going on in Loretta’s pits…or any part of her body, frankly. Neither does her husband.
A3G: Looks like the ghost slipped Luann a micky!
DT: I think it is safe to say that no fight scene ever depicted in comic form has had the characters posed in the way they are in the second panel here. And for good reason.
GT: Dammit Gil, he said to call him Clambake!
Pluggers: Pluggers recognize the crushing blow of reality that causes them to sell bean bag chairs that went out of style in 1976.
MW: Now we see what Vera’s problem is – she is obvously an incredibly bad judge of character.
Moon Mullins
April 21st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
RMMD: Worried about 500 frigging shares? Unless that stock is at a Google-like $400 a share it probably won’t make much difference to the Morgan portfolio, unless he has been losing surreptitious golf bets to Dr. Troy.
magic8ball
April 21st, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Ziggy: actually, there have been some events in the past year or so where people have gone to jail in the US for journalism-related issues (Judith Miller comes to mind). And there’s a blogger somewhere in the US who just got out of jail, where he had been sitting for a record amount of time because he refused to turn over some video he took of a political protest. (Sorry I can’t remember more details.) However, I doubt that Ziggy is trying to make a statement about that situation.
Lockhorns: I too read “antidepressant” for “antiperspirant” the first couple of times, and boy was I confused.
Kurdt
April 21st, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Oh okay, I missed that part of the last thread. Now I feel stupid and I apologize.
RaJ
April 21st, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Also: What the *fuck* is that Ziggy supposed to be referrring to?
WithoutaK
April 21st, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Dirty word! I’ve just now been able to check the comics as my Internet was broken and I find that my hopes are being dashed left and right.
-Mark Trail coughs up Dan and Sally to the proper authorities after only one punch?
-Vera finds comfort with Mary instead of running, screaming into the night?
-Darin agrees with Jess instead of saying “Bitch, mind your own business” or “Sure, but then you have to do something for me. I mean have sex, in case that wasn’t clear.”
-and nothing happens (yet again) in Luann, DT, RM, and JP
My only hope for action is that Lu Ann in A3G really looks like she’s on death’s door. Was it just me or did she look really washed out and sickly? And yes, I know it’s naive to assume anything (cool) will actually happen but I’m a newbie at this strip so let me dream just a little while longer.
PeteMoss
April 21st, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Rex Morgan, M.D. is some kind of medical drama, right? Doesn’t Rex eventually treats patients, or does he just wait around to get instructions from June while feining a bad phone connection. “Sorry, dear, I just can’t hear you. Guess I’ll go down to the waterfront where the reception is better.”
Dorianne
April 21st, 2007 at 3:38 pm
If Loretta’s antiperspirant is cancelling out her moisturizer….where the hell is she applying the antiperspirant??
RaJ
April 21st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Also: I enjoy how lil’ Sarah couldn’t give less than two shits what were mother is yammering about into the phone. I wonder if she’s reading the new Tolkein.
RaJ
April 21st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Also: I enjoy how lil’ Sarah couldn’t give two shits what were mother is yammering about into the phone. I wonder if she’s reading the new Tolkein.
Trixie Belden
April 21st, 2007 at 3:44 pm
I just want to re-post the congratulations I gave to williethompson in another thread for his mad comic strip prognosticating skillz regarding the whole Rex Morgan Avery International stock insider trading plot twist.
bonnach
April 21st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
The cosmetics lady has quite the rack. That’s probably why she’s holding onto the counter top, to keep from falling forward.
Gabe
April 21st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Wille (not Willie) is supremely awesome, yes. I would have his babies, were it biologically possible.
Lynngineering
April 21st, 2007 at 3:58 pm
RMMD: Fine, I’ll risk a comment on old Rex and June. What could they possibly have hanging on their walls that the interior decorator demanded so much sq.footage of coverage? Certainly not family photos. Old Victorian porn I’m betting, disguised as “medical research” from the days Rex actually did something, and June worked FOR him.
As for June, it makes no sense to be sitting like that, but getting agressive, pose and tone don’t fit, but she does get to jut her breasts out and keep her hands clear. So win-win.
pesch
April 21st, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Judging from the room June is sitting in, the Morgans have taken on Gertrude Stein’s apartment on the Rue de Fleurus. Is that a Matisse I see on the wall?
willethompson
April 21st, 2007 at 5:09 pm
#33 Gabe – I’m assuming the M!B!S! T-shirt arrived, because, dude, I, ah, I’m not sure what else I could have done that would have made you SAY that. But thanks, in a Dingo-like-NSFW-link sorta way.
and Dingo – you are the master of the show tune parody. I bow or curtsy, or kowtow, or whatever signals maximal respect. or as we say down here, yeeehaaa!
Hysterical Woman
April 21st, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Actually, you could see Ziggy as related to the reason Imus scandal, as long as you believed his comment was an editoral and not just a random insult.
Proteus
April 21st, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Lockhorns:
When I read Josh’s commentary I though it was the caption. For reals. And I like my version way better.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 21st, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Just thought of this now. Do you think the salesperson Loretta is talking to might be related to June Morgan? She’s got a couple of attributes that say she might be.
MrP
April 21st, 2007 at 8:25 pm
So wait, Loretta Hateeachother uses moisturizer under her arm? Man. This one panel tells me more about the inheritable skin problems on Loretta’s side of the family than I ever wanted to know. Ever.
Dean Booth (Bid Page)
April 21st, 2007 at 9:01 pm
#19. LOL Daisy!
Canaduck
April 21st, 2007 at 9:58 pm
I read it as “antidepressant” too. Man.
Anyway, I don’t get it. Either that, or whoever draws the Lockhorns doesn’t get it. Moisturizer isn’t supposed to make you sweat, you idiot(s).
Captain Thunder
April 21st, 2007 at 10:08 pm
“I bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too preachy too!”
AppleGirl
April 21st, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Lockhorns – How weird! I saw it as “antidepressant,” too.
Edgy DC
April 21st, 2007 at 10:40 pm
The ‘Horns are magic.
Though I actually think today we have our first Asian.
CrabbyGenes
April 21st, 2007 at 11:17 pm
Concerning Comments 14, 15, 18, 19, 20, 24 in this thread:
This probably goes without saying by now, but I’ll say it anyway. When commenting on/satirizing things in previous threads, it might be good to point that out. I happened to have read all the commotion about a certain commenter and “trolling” in the Metapost thread, so I knew what Gabe (#14) meant. At the same time, I might have interpreted it wrong had I not read the previous thread.
Much as I would like to read every comment on every thread, I just cannot keep up with them. How many comments I can read from day to day is pretty much dependent on the amount of work I have to do at work, and the amount of housework I have to do at home. When I have limited time for reading comments, I tend to skip entire threads. Other times, I try to skim all threads very quickly, but this means I might miss some comments.
Anyway, whatever you are referring to, adding to, or satirizing, number references (and commenter names, if possible, in case the numbering has changed) are always appreciated! But I know that most people already do this. Like I said at the beginning, it probably goes without saying.
Daisy
April 21st, 2007 at 11:54 pm
#46– Gee, sorry, Crabby. I thought about it, it’s just I was in such a hurry because I was trying to say something funny for the first time, like, ever…
Anyway, I made Dean Booth lol, so it was worth it. :)
skulking on the outskirts
April 22nd, 2007 at 1:08 am
Daisy, 47: It made me LOL, too! Thanks.
CrabbyGenes
April 22nd, 2007 at 2:05 am
#47, Daisy. Not to worry! Really! I wasn’t after anyone, or meaning your comment (which I too, found amusing!) in particular. I was just sort of issuing a general reminder, because when I first read Gabe’s #14, I thought, “I get it, and I think it’s funny, but a newbie or someone who hadn’t seen the previous thread, or who doesn’t know that Gabe is a “regular” here, might take it as serious criticism.”
As for making funny comments, you’re probably better at it than I am. It often seems to me that by the time I think of the great and funny snarks, someone has already beat me to it. Ah, well. I just tell myself that it takes all kinds of comments to make a great blog! (Which this is, Josh, so thanks again!)
schlimmerkerl
April 22nd, 2007 at 8:11 am
Antidepressant/antipers… i give up. Can’t spell it. But me too.
Joe
April 22nd, 2007 at 11:57 am
Thanks, Lockhorns, for making me visualize a middle-aged woman’s “moist” armpits. I’ll call you next time I almost get happy.
Jym
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
=17= RMMD (RaJ): If you take a closer look you can see that Jone’s sexy toes are likely to have Wonder Dog spittle on ‘em. Her dogs smell like dog.
=43= Ziggy (Captain Thunder): Foul temptress.
King Folderol
April 22nd, 2007 at 4:18 pm
RMMD – Deep down underneath that country doctor Rex pretends to be, is a jaded urbanite who knows better than to get involved. He’s the anti-Mary Worth, except that Rex’s annoying but hot wife insists on dragging him into these stupid adventures. Rex’d get a divorce, but where you gonna find a rack like that these days?
Ziggy – Perhaps this is a left-handed comment on Don Imus’s firing. Both Wilson and Imus have awful senses of humor, so I could see them hanging out in some fourth-rate Friars Club somewhere, trading bad jokes and comparing bad haircuts…
Cathy Viviano
October 19th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
June and Rex Morgan are HOT HOT TOGETHER. :)