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Ha ha, hippies, amiright?

Hi and Lois, 10/4/11

Fun fact about Hi and Lois (yes, fun facts about Hi and Lois exist): “Thirsty” Thurston was originally given that nickname because he was a chronic drunk. At some point, the strip toned down that aspect of his personality — you know, for the children — mostly by getting rid of his bright red nose and visible intoxication bubbles, and for the past several decades we’ve just been left to fill in the blanks for the origins of his shiftlessness, slovenliness, and unhappy marriage. But it appears that someone at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC suddenly realized (probably right about here) that children stopped reading the comics long ago, and so Thirsty’s boozehounding can now come back in full force! Earlier this week there was already a strip about how he passed out drunk on Hi’s couch and spent the night in a stupor, so I look forward to the hijinks that will ensue once he polishes off this minivan-sized box of Beer™ brand beer.

Apartment 3-G, 10/4/11

I’m pretty sure that we’re always supposed to find Margo’s high-handed demands unreasonable, which is why I find it odd that her current set of high-handed demands involve asking Lu Ann to do her job rather than comparing different shades of pastel for bridesmaids dresses and matching napkins all day. Rather than responding with “Weddings! Bah, humbug! My heart was broken by my fiancé’s death, so I must crap on your happiness!” it would kind of make more sense if Margo said, “Yeah, so, you know I’m paying you to, like, work at the art gallery, right?”

B.C., 10/4/11

Ha ha, those jokesters at B.C., they’re sure stickin’ it to those hippies, and their grass! Hippies eat grass, right? That’s how you “do” grass? If you’re a hippie? Anyway, long story short, this hippie is about to be savagely killed by a dinosaur, for his drug crimes.

249 responses to “Ha ha, hippies, amiright?”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    The ABCs of Comics:

    Archie… makes a late-night booty call to Miss Grundy!

    Broom Hilda — William Shatner: The Later Years (Ugliest…toupee…ever!)

    Crankshaft — As others have noted, October 4, 2011 is the 80th anniversary of the Dick Tracy comic strip. So why didn’t Batiuk include DT (in the background at least) of today’s sepia-toned flashback?

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Baldo Plays the Classics* —

    Deja que te lleve hacia abajo
    Porque yo voy a strawberry fields
    Nada es real y no hay nada que se colgaba
    Strawberry fields para siempre

    *Continued from @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y230)

  3. nescio
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    B.C. – The reason we’ve never seen the hippie before is that he usually goes around in drag as Fat Broad.

  4. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    BB: Eventually Gizmo will have to release and distribute all those PC’s that have been languishing on a loading dock in a remote part of the camp for the last eight years. In the meantime, Fuzz, Sarge and everyone else will have to make do with #2 pencils and paper for the daily manpower/chow consumption reports.

    ‘Shaft: Yeah. Wait until you see Masky, Lisa and Eugene all sitting at the same table….laughing….laughing at YOU !

    Curtis: So Günter’s sister is really his mom….in drag ? Wait…..

    Winky: So go sit in your shameful puddle of wrongness.

    Luann: Somebody is going to get deported, arrested or knocked up here.

    Hi-Ho: We get it. Thirsty is an alcoholic.

  5. S.Stout
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    H&L: “Yeah, and he tore off the garage door getting it in. Thanks a lot, homewrecker!”

    Luann: Since characters can’t evolve in Luann, Gunther is going to this unbearable the entire time they’re dating. Kill me now!

  6. Lenoxus
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    This typo followed me home! Can I keep it!

    “for the origins his shiftlessness” needs an “of”.

  7. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    JP: I see where April, living up to her name, has been lovingly depicted with a strategic clump of pollen on her blouse. Dust or first?

  8. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker-Anything looks good on April except bras which is why she doesn’t wear them.

    Mary Worth-Has Bobby’s team even shown up in town yet? How can Gina leave a message for a person who isn’t at the hotel yet?

    Mark Trail-Kelly is able to take care of herself. It has been about a month since we last saw her and she is still alive. Do you think she has been staying at that five star hotel across the street from your station?

  9. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    FW – They work at a pizza joint. How hard is it to keep up with your schedule?:
    Monday – Make pizza. Staff Meeting
    Tuesday – Make Pizza.
    Wednesday – Get drunk for breakfast. Make scrambled eggs. Apologize to customers. Drink some more.
    Thursday – IDONWANNAWHATYOUFUCKISTHIS?! (Sick day)
    Friday – Make pizza with tembling hands. Vomit in sink.

    JP -Too easy. “Just bought these today”. And yet another neutered JP character too busy thinking about his offshore account balance to notice the symmetry right in front of him.

  10. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#7):

    I thought those were her nipples.

  11. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    GA: Panel 1 is the classic result when Skeezix tries to view Tracy’s 4:3 mug on his new videophone’s 16:9 HD screen.

  12. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10): Is that what they are? Damn. Lemme go fetch my reading glasses.

  13. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Sinfest: Vespavenger, Year One.

    Doons: *gigglez* yeah, it’s a retcon, so what.

    IP: you FIEND!

    SB: heeee!

    JP: they look spectacular! (oh, you mean the earrings? Didn’t notice. . . . )

    RwO: Hammy, get off the teller’s window!

    6Cx: wow, first nipples in JP, now blatant innuendo here. naughty day on the funny pages!

    SF: but Ted LIKES robots! especially the monkey ones.

    snarpologies as needed.

  14. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    DT:
    “The old man always closes and then heads upstairs with his dough.”
    “Sounds like a pushover to me.”

    Hmm, I ain’t so sure. A turnover or a popover, yeah. Pushovers, don’t they take a whole nother kind of dough?

  15. Lord-z
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Margo use to be wedding-planner before she was almost-married into being in charge (owning?) a gallery? Why isn’t she in charge of this certain catastrophe?

    For gods sake, Lu Ann, if something has to blow up in someones face, you got an explosions expert right there.

  16. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    FC: This Stepford version of yogic flying may be their only recourse if they ever hope to surmount the dizzying compound walls. Flap those knees, kids!

  17. Darryl Heine
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Not mentioned:

    PEANUTS 1964 – Linus thinks of the power!

    BLONDIE – Mr. Dithers talks about trading – but is it for stock options, sports teams, or even worse – Dagwood Bumstead?

  18. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @Lord-z (#15): “For gods sake, Lu Ann, if something has to blow up in someones face, you got an explosions expert right there.”

    Stone cold, with ice water running through her brains veins.

  19. But What Do I Know?
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10): I thought it was the dust on my computer screen!

  20. Little Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    A3G’s Cartoon Classics:

    “Weddings a humbug, Margo!” said Lu-ann. “You don’t mean that, I am sure.”

    “I do,” said Margo. “Congratulations! What right have you to be congratulated? What reason have you to be congratulated? You’re pretty enough.”

    “Come, then,” returned the roommate gaily. “What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You’re single enough.”

    Margo having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said “Bah!” again; and followed it up with “Humbug.”

    “Don’t be cross, Margo!” said the blonde.

  21. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    FC: At first I thought the kids were trying to escape….in bags….but I was wrong. But hey; the look on Dolly’s face indicates she either just crapped herself from so much kinetic activity or broke her hip…..from so much kinetic activity.

  22. But What Do I Know?
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    JP — “What time are we supposed to be at Sam and Abbey’s?”

    Why, do you think we have time for a quick game of Scrabble?

    FC — Seriously, when’s the last time *anyone* saw a potato sack?

  23. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    “Anyway, long story short, this hippie is about to be savagely killed by a dinosaur, for his drug crimes.”

    While Hartsprick Peak chuffs complacently in the background…

  24. Doctor Handsome
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty disappointed that Hi & Lois dropped the ball on labeling it a “Big Box O’ Beer.” That’s Comedy 101, people.

  25. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Tits Ahoy! Judge Parker – This advances the plot how?

    Aw, who cares, it’s more interesting than anything else they’ve come up with recently…

  26. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#24): Well, we can argue the merits of the apostrophe vis-a-vis the matched hyphens, but either’d be an improvement.

    I think we’re being too hard on Thirsty, though. He’s just stocking up early for Halloween because last year he wasn’t paying attention and all the stores had left was Jolly Rancher. He doesn’t want his house to get TP’d again this year, so he’s giving the good stuff.

  27. wossname
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    MT – How did Kelly figure out this entire insane plot in the space of one panel? I think she’s doing psychic readings with the Elrodball.

    MW – Panel 3:
    Desk clerk: “Well, I wouldn’t normally do this, but since our voice mail system is down at this incredibly important time when the New York Blazes are staying here, why don’t you come to the hotel and I’ll smuggle you into your friend’s room on a linen cart?”

    Alt panel 3:
    Desk clerk: “You should follow your dreams, miss. Seek your destiny! You can live your life fully once you have answers to your questions. We can only do the best we can with what we have where we are. Where there is love there can be no fear!”

    DT – Could I just mention for the millionth time how awesome this comic became when Staton and Curtis took over? Look at that streetlight. Look at the bad guy putting on a bandana as a mask. Look at that quaint concept of “We can’t get married until I’m making a good salary.”

  28. Doctor Handsome
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    If you think jokes about Thirsty’s tragic alcohol dependence are too edgy for a family newspaper, you definitely don’t want to see the original “big box” pun they were going to use.

  29. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MT – Houston, we have comprehension!

  30. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Juggs Parker: It’s no fun teasing Judge Parker when they’re just going to come right out and draw naked women adorned with skin paint that vaguely approximates clothing.

    MT: Be careful, Kelly! The wilderness is no place for a woman!

    Every time Cherry shows up in MT, I get that Neil Diamond song stuck in my head. Since Kelly looks a lot like Cherry, she triggers the same response. Thank god I don’t know any songs about Royal Canadian Kilted… aw hell.

  31. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Crank: “Eugene……..I’m a lesbian.”

    FW: Hell. I still know someone who’s main source of internet access is Web TV.

    Luann: ………….I so want to choke Gunther and put him out of his misery.

    MT: Just who is Kelly supposed to be talking to?? The comic-viewing audience??

    Marvin: At least Armstrong doesn’t draw Jenny Miller in bed with earrings on anymore. I said “Jenny”……..in bed…….rawr…….oooo yeah.

    MW: Gina, go to the Foobiverse and get in good with Elly! Then, everything will just magically work out for you!

    RMMD: I am *SO* glad she didn’t say “Anal Sex”…

  32. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#31): Luann: ………….I so want to choke Gunther and put him out of his our misery.

    Fixed it for ya.

  33. LUJBEM FEJF
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    BC- Hah! Hippies! That’s so funny. What about those “flappers” ? Those tarts! And I thought putting flying toasters in the today’s Jumble was a nod to the past. Well played BC, well played.

  34. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    DtM: Dennis, not having reached the age of reason, can’t be expected to deduce that the same effect can have different causes, and therefore a single type of adverse occurrence can be referred to by multiple names.

    It’s not as difficult as you always insist on making it, Dennis, if you’d just learn to focus: “Boo-boos” are injuries suffered through your own ignorance or negligence; “Owies” are those perpetrated on you by those more powerful than you, to edify, enlighten and guide you into the path you must follow.

  35. sporknpork
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    What’s with the sky’s black rounded edges in Hi and Lois? Is this all taking place in Thirsty’s alcohol-induced masturbatory dream bubble? I guess we’ll find out for sure if his wife and Lois start making out while being sprayed down in booze.

  36. Doctor Handsome
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    “Hmm, all the caveman characters are already long-haired and unshaven, so how to communicate visually that this one’s a filthy stinking doper? Of course! We’ll slap a Volkswagen hood ornament on his chest, and give him some of those ‘sunned-glasses’ the kids are always wearing! Nailed it.”

  37. Dennis Jimenez
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    The hillarity today!!!

    H&L – Great packaging – if you stacked it the other way, the head would be on the bottom….

    A3G – In panel three, we can see that Margo torqued her bun a few lbs too tight today….

    BC – Is that a steaming pile fo teradachtyl dung in the middle of the panel? How apropos….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  38. word-doctor
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#30):

    “Way up next to his chain-saw,
    And under his orange hats… he keeps Labatt’s”
    From “Labatt’s” by Classic Ruins, on their “Lassie Eats Chickens” LP.

    Marmaduke: Finger sandwiches? I think he likes them up to the elbow.

  39. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD – So Summer is a Plugger?

  40. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    I have to run out, so here’s some unverified snarks:

    Ferd’nand gets a visit from the 3G extra players today. Damn, his place is big!

    Gasoline – Staton’s doing a fine job on Dick Tracy, but I think Scancarelli’s Tracy is damn good.

    love is… having a dog that looks more real than you do.

    Marmaduke – “MAAAHHM! Marmaduke’s tossing his cookies all over our tea party!”

  41. Binder's Butter Beans
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    I love how the hippie’s whopping great peace medallion looks more like Flavor Flav’s clock than anything else. Peace out, yo!

  42. Swordsmith
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    FW yesterday’s strip was pointless and lame; both a paper calendar and an electronic one are GIGO devices. Today’s strip inexplicably doubles down on the already failed point. Is this gonna go on all week:

    Wednesday: I keep my appointments on this electronic device, you keep yours on paper. Yeah, but I put the right day down and you didn’t.

    Thursday: My electronic device is superior to your paper one for reasons I can’t be bothered to explain. Yes, but since my paper one has the right date and yours has the wrong one, my paper one must in fact be superior to yours.

    Friday: Your paper device could be lost in a fire or flood! Yes, but your electronic one could suffer electrical failure, and I entered the correct date, so that means paper beats electrons.

    Saturday: This device is similar to a Kindle, which everyone knows is much better than paper. Two words, Mary Worth!

    Sunday: Some kind of band turkey in the rain joke. Hey, they can’t drag this stuff out forever you know.

  43. Chip Whittle
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: So is Margo more upset that Lu Ann is pretending to move outside her grip and into the Linski Collective’s, or that she remembers being semi-competent wedding planner and she’s not getting the semi-job?

    I’m looking forward to seeing the Ghost of Fiancees Yet To Come, who will be Mr. Love Is.

    Crock: Wait, Crock is doing continuity now? More, it’s doing continuity so it can make fun of reality TV. This could finally answer the question of what happens when the walking punchline of reality TV meets the dead anti-comedy zone of Crock.

    Crankshaft: Uh-oh. Look out, she’s gonna marry River Song!

    Dick Tracy: “The old man always closes and then heads upstairs with his dough.” “Gee, boss, why doesn’t he leave it in the kitchen?” “…” “He’s just gotta take it downstairs again to bake it.” “Remind me again why I hired you away from Simon bar Sinister.”

    Funky Winkerbean: I still can’t believe they scheduled a staff meeting, for two people, who’re both there and talking, about how they’re not having a meeting.

    Oh yeah, now I know why Montoni’s in here at all. In Florida one out of every two households is in foreclosure, so he’s gone to Westview where things are really dismal.

    Grin and Bear It: See, it’s funny because……it’s…about abusing women?

  44. Esther Blodgett
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    GA: I never, ever read this except when it’s mentioned here. But this one may be a print-and-frame. “Tracy’s back! Yea!” indeed.

    GT: Is he kicking footballs, or is that a bag of oversized Mentos?

    MW: The voice mail is down? Oh, if only we had some kind of system for transcribing speech into written symbols that could then be passed along to the message recipient via a physical medium!

  45. Chareth Cutestory
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is saying “BAHH!!” in any form a catchphrase yet? BAHH, we’ll just keep trying!

  46. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#30):

    Every time Cherry shows up in MT, I get that Neil Diamond song stuck in my head. Since Kelly looks a lot like Cherry, she triggers the same response.

    You think of Solitary Man?

  47. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#40): Lobster Hair is… having a dog that looks even more hallucinatory than you do.[*]

  48. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    FW -Besides, you can’t wipe your ass with that electronic device. Heh, heh.

    Wanna bet? I got an app for that.

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    dang, Hammy is getting in on the naughty as well!

    human Plugger?

    end of this month at Lio’s house.

    extremely floofy corgi pup. your brain is now mush.

    OCD has a bunch of corgis in costume, well worth the look if you don’t already go there.

  50. Little Blue Bicycle
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G, where only the boxes of prepackaged food are colorful.

  51. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    And in today’s exciting installment of Luann, Luann and Quill continue their captivating coy wordplay, Gunther continues to stumble and stutter around Rosa to our complete amusement, and Crystal offers to buy Knute a hooker.

  52. Pozzo
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Umm…that’s Clumsy Carp with glasses and a peace medallion, right? Did he just adopt a new defining trait, or don’t they have the money to hire a new caveman? (You *do* know you can just draw them, right?)

  53. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Luann: A shockingly daring leap into near-verisimilitude.[*] Still trying to cross a 20-foot arroyo in two 10-foot jumps, though.

  54. Chip Whittle
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Mandrake: “It’s not like Tex to be gone! It’s also not like him to sneak up on unsuspecting human prey! And it’s very unlike him to tie us up and hold us hostage to his extremist demands! We’re here on a very lucky day, Mandrake!”

    Mark Trail: I just like that Kelly Welly’s gone to her Thinking Chair to sit at an awkward angle and watch the lamp vibrate.

    Popeye: So what trait was it about Otis O. Otis which made Bud Sagendorf say, “Hey, I got something hot here, I gotta stuff him into the next story right away!” Was it the way he walked around paying little attention to a baffled Popeye while making pronouncements of imminent plot developments that don’t pan out?

    Rex Morgan: Look, what’s with this strip, where a teenager and her mom talk about generational differences with the sweet awareness the differences are actually the casual trappings above deep commonalities? Shouldn’t they be on The Internets They So Evil?

  55. Austria
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Curtis: He’s a sweater-around-the-shoulders short of actually being Carlton. Right now he’s more like Will.

    FW: Uuuuugggggghhhh I was right. Sometimes I hate being right.

    PBS: I hope this keeps up.

    RMMD: YES. FINALLY AN ADULT IN THE COMICS ADMITS TO IT. Take note of Summer Knight, MONTONI.
    (and Mama and Papa Zits.)

    Zits: Every once in a while, we get a glimpse of the old days. Every once in a while, Zits indulges us. Every once in a while, Zits does it right.

  56. word-doctor
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#51):

    I find it much more entertaining to switch dialogue and even whole panels when both Luann and Curtis are getting their Gunthers on.

  57. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#54): Mark Trail: I just like that Kelly Welly’s gone to her Thinking Chair to sit at an awkward angle and watch the lamp vibrate.

    Funny, I didn’t see her write anything down in her handy dandy notebook.

  58. TheDiva
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    A3G: How much “wedding business” could LuAnn have anyway? They haven’t even set a date yet, and anyway she’s probably going to be married from the Linski compound in Gramma Rose’s old dress with one of the uncles taking the pictures on his new Nokia and a potluck reception following. It’ll be like the FOOBocalypse, only with even more unsettling cultish behavior.

    9CL: Diane’s baby bump appears to be located somewhere around her upper thighs. Is she giving birth to Dionysus?

    FW: THis just in: people who keep track of their schedules The Good Old Fashioned Way never make errors. In other news, cell phones are the only cause of distracted driving, marital infidelity was invented with Match.com, and pretentious hack comic strip writers never got criticized until blogs made it possible.

    HotC: It’s not a very plausible costume, Heart, but if you post the drawing on DeviantArt…

    MT: Kelly Welly’s hoping if she sits there long enough, she’ll surprise Mark coming out of the shower again.

    MW: “I don’t know, have you tried calling the team manager?”

    Pluggers know they are of no importance to anyone anywhere, ever.

  59. Snowshoecat
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MT– Jack Elrod should take lessons from Woody Wilson. He tries so desperately to show how sexy Kelly Welly is with closeups of that misshapen, ghastly face. If he drew her like the babes–I mean women– in JP and RMMD, who would care about his insane non-plots?

    Andy Capp– one strip I hqve not seen here. Began reading it once he stopped beating Flo (yeah, that happened in ye olde dayes). But on earth is with the joke about microwaves? Haven’t they been around for, like, forty years?

  60. Droopy Says
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#53): Carlos Castaneda. Thanks. I was trying to think of who might be the hidden force between the mystic mucho masko struggle in the Phantom. Carlos Castaneda and peyote, lubricated with Jose Cuervo.

  61. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#58):

    9CL: Diane’s baby bump appears to be located somewhere around her upper thighs. Is she giving birth to Dionysus?

    That’s a sure sign it’s gonna be a cockroach.

  62. catondan
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    GT – What does it mean when you are kicking field goals by yourself and two guys come up and Say “High Five” and wiggle their fingers at you? Kids these days!

  63. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    FW – Y’all work in a small pizza parlor with a handful of employees. If you have to use a Blackberry to keep track of a staff meeting in a place like that, you’ve got bigger problems than just merely putting in the wrong meeting day.

    Luann – ‘Cool, thanks, Crystal! Can you make sure you get one that offers GFE?’

  64. Dood
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Does this mean Margo’s going to get visited by three wedding spirits? Cool.

  65. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @4d ultrasounds (#y240): More spamholes at y240 and y241.

    @catondan (#62): Kicking field goals by yourself has to be really, really tedious. Kick. Go get the ball. Return to kicking position. Repeat until bored as hell.

  66. Ian Beste
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#63): Luann: “Cool, Crystal! Uh, can you look for one that mentions femdom…?”

  67. Dood
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: My glasses are fogged up, what are we toasting again?

  68. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#63):

    Unfortunately, she offers the Greg Evans High School GFE, which means she shows up, starts putting on makeup, insists you agree that you will be together forever and ever and then awkwardly discuss the relationship for hours before she is willing to kiss you.

    They should have asked for the PSE, the way they did when they secretly hired Rosa to join the cast and pretend to be interested in the Gunt.

  69. Chip Whittle
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: “Has Flo’s cooking improved since she bought that microwave oven, in about 1982 when everybody finally got microwave ovens?” “Naw, we couldn’t scrape £2/15/6 together for the license.”

    Heart of the City: Oh, tch, Heart. Tell him he’s playing a bantha. Know your audience.

    Love Is… the wacky reincarnations of Mrs. Love Is!

    Reynolds Unwrapped: Hey, you get comedy gold like this panel, you don’t save it for sometime within six months of Easter! You run with it!

    Rose is Rose: So, guardian angels are just Nurse Gina-grade stalkers? Creeeeeeeepy. This is the sort of thing that puts people off the religion of Orthodox Mawkish Sentimentality.

  70. Red Greenback
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    GA: “The Urge” to old-fashioned phone you to the moon.

  71. Esther Blodgett
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    FW: Of course, we’ve seen Montoni’s staff meetings before. Darin mentions some kind of TECHNOLOGY, Tony mutters about the good old days, Funky stares blankly and wishes he had a drink, and Les makes his weekly motion to name a new pizza after Lisa, cancer, and/or himself.

  72. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#71): I think you summed up the entire strip.

  73. Mibbitmaker
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Just time to skim right now. Oversnarpologies, if.

    A3G: Really, Margo? You really ‘went there’?

    Archie: Cue porn musi– Oh, God, I can’t go through with it! I can’t go through with it! YECCH!

    9CL: Finally…. getting…. to…. the….. point…..

    ReFOOB: Really? It’s not just that the kid’s being a pest when one needs room to concentrate on thinking and writing for one’s job? Huh. Who would’ve guessed?

    GA: That was embarrassing! Give me a Pastis or Tatulli parody strip any day!

    JP: “Well, we should arrive at 6 o’clock… and your boobs at 5:58!” *rimshot!*

    MT: “….If I could get unstuck from this repetitious clip-art of me in this easychair, I could find out….”

    MW: Storytelling contrivance will do that.

  74. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#32):

    Thanks Buddy!!

  75. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#66): ‘Sorry, Knute, Rosa’s with Gunther already.’

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#68): Wait a second – has anyone ever kissed anyone else in this strip? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it.

  76. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#73):

    Re: JP – “And meanwhile, I will be coming at 6:02!”

  77. Iconoclast
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Actually, Thirsty didn’t buy that generic Big Box of Beer on Lois’s recommendation. It was a present from his friends Herb and Jamaal.

  78. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#75):

    Well, there was the time that Aaron Hill made out with Lisa’s Ghost on top of a piano on Garbonzo Bean Day. Or maybe I’m confusing my comic strips?

  79. sporknpork
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Today’s Curtis is either a classic example of the Oedipus complex or sexual narcissism.

  80. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    H&L: The Simpsons pushed Barney off the wagon, too. That’s because they realized he wasn’t as funny sober as he was drunk. Thirsty isn’t funny either way. Makes you think.

    A3G: Margo’s heart isn’t in it. She’s just blatantly reading off the cue cards, like Bob Hope.

    BC: A hippie joke that would have been less anachronistic during the actual stone age than it is now.

    SFx: The cheater is just providing a distraction until his confederate the watch thief can get clear.

    BSt: Joke, anyone?

    HCliff: Okay, so what would Freud make of a mute cat ejaculating leaves all over the neighboring couple?

    GT: That’s not exactly the way you do the “live long and prosper” gesture. Of course it’s not easy when you have advanced arthritis.

    Drabble: Count your blessings, Norman. Of all the things your buddies could have put under the leaf pile, a wading pool is the least disgusting.

    Crock: This just in! Grossie is fat! Also, the sets for reality shows are about the size of a food court Ben & Jerry’s stand.

    JP: Hard nipple alert! Manley makes history today.

    RMMD: “The telephone. Or massive rails of blow. Honestly, I’d say it was a tossup.”

  81. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#73):

    Archie: Cue porn musi– Oh, God, I can’t go through with it! I can’t go through with it! YECCH!

    Hey, that’s Archie’s line!

  82. Red Greenback
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    B.C.- And since that fateful day, he was known as THC-Rex. “Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean really looked at them? Man, they’re tiny!

  83. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#Y245): “WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!” I am not eating a Plugger. I know where they’ve been.

  84. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – But they still believe the phrase ‘I am the deposed Minister of Finance for the former Nigerian government…’

  85. T. Chicana
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Well, Gina, it looks like you ARE going to have to camp out next the arena tonight after all. See how much easier it is when you just listen to Mary in the first place? Now, grab your tent, Depends and North Face outdoor ponytail holder and get down there, girl!

  86. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Iconoclast (#77): Actually, Thirsty didn’t buy that generic Big Box of Beer on Lois’s recommendation. It was a present from his friends Herb and Jamaal.

    Did Herb and Jamaal (a/k/a “The Ambiguously Gay Duo”) buy the beer at enormous-shop.com?

  88. Poteet
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    A3G — Seriously, did I miss the part where Lu Ann and her Aryan Prince settled their fundamental disagreement about where they are going to live? I would say a few caustic words about how planning the wedding instead of planning the actual marriage is a recipe for disaster, but Lu Ann IS kind of a minor disaster, so what’s the point. And in Panel One, she shows again the very weird thing that sometimes happens when she goes into full profile, which is that she turns into someone else. People do that in A3G, and it unnerves me.

  89. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#73): Oh, God, I can’t go through with it!
    Understood. I rejected “You aren’t trying to seduce me, are you Ms. Grundy?” for much the same reason.

  90. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#86): Wow, that little girl must be from Wisconsin. ‘Smile and nod politely’ is the state motto.

  91. bunivasal
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Since Thirsty’s fallen off the wagon and General Halftrack is becoming a belligerent drunk, I get the feeling there’s something slightly more sinister happening at Walker-Brown Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC.

  92. Walker of Dog
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#43): Margo’s fiance gave her a semi-job once. Boy, was she mad… BAHH!

    @Pozzo (#52): I recall an old series of B.C. strips where someone – maybe Clumsy Carp – started a big grass-eating fad. Is this a modified rerun?

    @But What Do I Know? (#22), @Esther Blodgett (#44), @Swordsmith (#42): As the Plugger quietly stews on hold with AT&T Customer Service, he remembers a simpler time when hotel front-desk receptionists could take down a simple message, calendars hung on walls (with tasteful photos of a young Plugger-ladies or tractors), and parents would let their precious little babies race in honest-to-God itchy burlap potato sacks.

    Meanwhile the customer service reps are playing Angry Birds.

  93. bunivasal
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    I need a way to describe Mort Walker’s legacy strips that isn’t just a joke I didn’t realize I was stealing.

  94. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#28): “You definitely don’t want to see the original “big box” pun they were going to use.” Woot’s Big Box o’ Crap but without the Woot?

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#33): Wow. Jumble, After Dark!

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#80): Damn you to Hell, Ben. I read Heathcliff because of you. Damn you to Hell or the “Mary Worth Suite” at the Santa Royale Hilton.

    @Mibbitmaker (#73): “Cue porn musi– Oh, God, I can’t go through with it! I can’t go through with it! YECCH!” Hey, that’s Gunther’s line! Hey, that’s any teenager’s line in Luann.

    @bunivasal (#93): Boring, unfunny big boxes of CRAP.

  95. Mr B
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t read BC as a drugs or hippy joke. I thought it was a reference to the guy being a vegetarian.

  96. Hank
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Poor Josh. That hippie joke in BC obviously hit a little too close to him.

  97. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Curtis this week could be a “Three’s Company” script. Any second now Mr. Furley will come bursting through the door, goggle-eyed and ascot flapping.

    Yesterday I thought Marvin’s dad had Duplo half-lodged where a turkey leg goes. Today I’m thinking ass cheek cancer.

    I love, LOVE how the desk clerk at the Santa Royale Hilton, pencil in hand on a tablet of paper, is smilingly jerking Gina around.

  98. This Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Is there a limit to plugger skepticism? If they find a new thing to disbelieve, must they give up disbelief in something else in order to maintain a minimum level of credulity?

  99. Esther Blodgett
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#97): A guest spot by Don Knotts would improve Curtis immensely. In fact, now that you’ve brought it up I can’t think of anything else.

  100. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers’ original caption: “Of course my refrigerator is running. Why do you ask?”

    You know, Miss Avis doesn’t look half-bad with eyes. It helps that Ruthie and Joe are puncturing Avis’ pretention.

  101. H-Bob
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Margo is allowing someone else to be the Queen Bee at Margot’s gallery ? Shouldn’t Margot be planning some type of coup at the “performance” ?

  102. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#99): I wouldn’t mind seeing Floyd the Barber working with Gunther.

  103. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#99): A guest spot by Don Knotts would improve many things immensely.
    Curtis, spam ‘n cheez, political debates.

  104. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#100): That Ruthie and Joe are a hell lot more menacing then Dennis.

  105. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#27): Re DT awesomeness. Agreed. I wouldn’t have thought it possible to do a strip like this now, but these guys have, fulgently!

  106. Pseudo3D
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Who is “Queen Bee”? Margo herself?

    Curtis – Congratulations to Baka Gaijin for calling this one!

    MW – Wow, Santa Royale has a brand-name hotel? Who knew?

    RMMD – “Really, I’m a teenager who never left 1993, and my maturity marginally outweighs yours.”

    FC – Thel never struck me as the type who would go to no-name organic food stores.

  107. Walker of Dog
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    GT: Brody: “Umm… Thanks. But that’s a Gil Thorp hand. No way I’m high-fiving that thing.”
    (looks down at his own hand)
    “AAAAGGHH!”
    Miles & Chip: “One of us. One of us…”

    HtH: Angry patrons, a swarm of bees, weaponry… who thought adding dribble glasses would be a good idea?

    JP: Privilege never looked so perky.

    Phan: To preserve the city and its way of life, the losing wrestler will be stoned. Call it the Shirley Jackson Memorial Pile-driver.

    S-M: Will the kids be inspired when they see their hero led through a perp walk? Meh, it worked for Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

  108. Rod Weep
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Hi kids. Here’s part 2 of my webcomic experiment. Any feedback is welcome:

    http://peanutshellscomic.blogspot.com/

  109. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#104): A lot more entertaining, too!

    @Pseudo3D (#106): Conrad Hilton himself opened the Santa Royale Hilton in 1933. Mary handed Conrad the golden scissors to cut the red ribbon at the grand opening.

  110. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Now we know why he never takes his hat off. Gunther might set a beer down on his head at an inopportune moment.

  111. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#103): A guest spot by Don Knotts would improve many things immensely. Curtis, spam ‘n cheez, political debates.
    Political biographies.

  112. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    A3-G: If this were Cranky, Margo would be inviting a visit from the Ghost of Dead Fiances Past with her Scroogian response to LuAnn’s “wedding business” plans. Hey — mashup time!

    B.C.: You gotta admire a strip that’s anachronistic in so many different ways in a single panel.

    F. Wankerbean: So the point is, blame the technology, not the human error that led to the wrong date being put in? If the wrong date had been written into Tony’s calendar, I suppose it would have been paper’s fault.

    H&L: Is Thirsty Thurston somehow related to Barney Gumble? Someone needs to get off their Duff and find out!

    Juggs Parker: Um, I’m not sure if she’s referring to the earrings or the implants. But panel 3 sure emphasizes the latter.

    Merrily Worthless: Give it up, Gina. The cosmos are obviously in confederation against you. (I’d say “the dunces,” but that would have to include Gina.)

    Plug-grrrs: Pluggers get grumpy when they get put on hold while phoning ESPN to express solidarity with Hank Williams Jr.

    RMMotherDaughter: I miss the old Summer and Kelly — you know, the ones who looked like sisters and dressed like vixens.

    S4th: Give Sally some credit, Ted — she’s a sentient robot.

  113. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Spidey: Yep, after being played for lummoxes and tripping all over each other in front of a bunch of baby skells, NYPD is gonna go the nice and easy route and cuff him in front.

  114. Some Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: The only thing more idiotic than the plot is the way everyone figures it out as though it’s the most sensible explanation in the world.

    Phantom: I’m now fascinated to learn what police-chief-wrestler’s plan for saving the city is, and how it’s advanced by not unmasking his opponent. (And, presumably, by the “old friends” really beating on each other instead of using wrestling moves, unless we’re going to forget that happened.)

    Spidey: Hooray! Spidey didn’t let the kids down! Now they can see their hero getting dragged away in handcuffs, which will apparently increase their respect for the police!

    RMMD: Oh lord, another “evil technology addiction” soap strip. At least this one aknowledges that teenagers spending hours communicating with their friends via a device of some sort isn’t actually a new thing.

  115. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): Wednesday – Get drunk for breakfast. Make scrambled eggs. Apologize to customers. Drink some more.

    Actually, that’s the schedule for management at Montoni’s Pizza. Except for the scrambling of eggs and apologizing to customers.

  116. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#82): B.C.- And since that fateful day, he was known as THC-Rex. “Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean really looked at them? Man, they’re tiny!“ Proof that you can expand your consciousness even if your brain is the size of a walnut! Don’t bogart the hippie, dude!

  117. commodorejohn
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Margo, don’t you get it? The Linski clan has now laid claim to Luann’s entire life! They own her! (Though I can’t say it was probably a worthwhile investment.)

    A&J – THANK YOU, ARLO.

    Crankshaft – This is just going to be three weeks of absolutely nothing, isn’t it?

    DT – Admit it, Staton & Curtis: you just wanted to do some cool period art, didn’t you? …well, no complaints here.

    FW – Well whoop-de-fucking-doo.

    HOTC – o_O

    JP – …wow. So…was this the last vestige of pretense being abandoned, or was that earlier on and I just didn’t notice until now?

    Jumble – AFTER DARK!

    Luann – This is all completely nauseating, but at least Knute and Crystal had the decency to make a joke out of it. (For those keeping score at home, add “jokes about teenage prostitution” to the list of things less creepy than Gunther.)

    Mandrake – “Maybe we should ask that guy back there who thinks he’s a ninja if he’s seen anybody.”

    MT – So yeah, McQueen, not only was Mark Trail beating you at logic, you’re now falling victim to the keen psychological insights of Kelly Welly. You might as well just give up now and spare yourself further humiliation.

    MW – Oh, now Gina’s really in trouble! It’s like the universe is forcing her to take the next step! Go to the hotel, knock out the maid as she’s turning the sheets and lock her in the bathroom, and hole up in Bobby’s room until he returns! Obviously! It’s not her fault, officers, Fate made her do it!

    PBS – How tragic. Time to raise some Garbanzo Bean Friday awareness, eh, Rat?

    SM – Spider-Man! Giving depressed children an opportunity to watch their hero be carted off in chains for a crime he didn’t commit! That’ll cheer them up!

    WoI – The funny thing is, this has probably happened on at least one occasion over the course of history.

  118. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    MT-You shouldn’t be out in the wilderness alone or even working for a magazine or being anywhere outside of a house for that matter. What are you doing out of the kitchen, Kelly?

    Love Is-The leash is actually for Mr. Love Is. Mrs. Love Is is going to take the mister for a walk and has sent her dog over.

  119. Johnny Knuckles
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#23): BC: Ok, so I’m not the only one who saw Mount Cockandballs. It’s good to know I’m not some kind of weirdo.

  120. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#117): WoI – The funny thing is, this has probably happened on at least one occasion over the course of history.

    Kind of like the “Christmas Truce,” when the Brits and Germans stopped fighting in WWI and played soccer instead.

  121. littlestevie
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    JP: Oh Abbey, Abbey, Abbey. It looks like the competition is getting fierce in ol’ Parkerland. You have to step up your game if you want to keep up with April.

  122. Dood
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Bubbly with jubbly. This strip knows how to pair wines.

  123. Swordsmith
    October 4th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    PBS: Garbanzo Bean day is, according to the infallible Google, Oct 21, not Oct 7. No wonder Rat’s boss didn’t plan to give him the day off.

  124. Swordsmith
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    JP: Distance from camera to April, 8 feet. Distance from camera to mirror, plus distance from mirror to April, 11 feet. So how come April seems smaller than Mirror-April? I see only one explanation: that’s not a mirror, it is instead a slightly larger-than-lifesize poster of April. Further proof, Poster-April is looking down rather than level, and about a C cup, where real April is sporting D’s… which she just bought today.

  125. Master Mahan
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    I look forward to the upcoming Beetle Bailey/Hi and Lois crossover in which Thirsty and General Halftrack meet in rehab. I’m just kidding, of course. Halftrack will kill before he’s dragged into rehab.

  126. greghousesgf
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    BC–Hippie jokes. In 2011. Uh-yuh.
    Crankshaft— Lilly and Orville Redenbacher, separated at birth?

  127. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#117):

    Re: JP – Y’know, Judge Parker transitioned into hard-core pornography so smoothly, I hardly even noticed ….

    Oh who am I kidding – I noticed!

  128. odinthor
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    112. The Gringo Kid.

    Merrily Worthless: Give it up, Gina. The cosmos are obviously in confederation against you. (I’d say “the dunces,” but that would have to include Gina.)

    Ooh! Jonathan Swift quote reference! (See about three-quarters of the way down here.) Muy bueno.

  129. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#119): @Écureuil Écumant (#23): You could both be weirdos, after all. Which beats being a Plugger, not that that’s anything to be orgulous about.

  130. Poteet
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#90): If you add “then look down and mumble a little out of sheer embarrassment,” you’ve got the Iowa motto:-).

  131. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#129): “Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

  132. Dennis Jimenez
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#127): I’ve always thought of it as a comedy – because of the tremendous titters it yields….

  133. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    October 4th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Weep (#108): A few art notes:

    1) Shoulders don’t work that way. They should be on the sides of the torso, not the front.

    2) Hands are the downfall of many a cartoonist. (Just ask Rod Whigham! Bada-BOOM!) It takes longer to learn to draw hands than it does to learn to draw everything else put together. Start trying now. Even bad hands are better than puffy puppy paws.

    3) Early artists (like the Egyptians) drew people flat-on, in profile, or an unrealistic combination of the two. In the Dark Ages, artists discovered 3/4 views and more realistic poses, but still drew everyone exactly the same size regardless of position or distance from the viewpoint. Then in the Renaissance, painters discovered foreshortening and perspective. The same discoveries separate amateurs from artists today.

  134. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    MT-I feel sorry for Andy he is the only male in the entire comic that shows interest in a female and they lock him up for it.

  135. Violet
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: That is so funny; when Summer was a teenager the kids were all about the phones, whereas Kelly’s generation is totally into their…um, phones. Whatever, I’m just anxious to move on to the next phase of this storyline, which I imagine will be highly believable cause if there’s one thing punk rockers are known for, it’s their pool parties.

  136. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#132):

    An ensemble comedy, at that, as the titters are not restricted to the titular character, though the Judge is a titan in his own right. In fact, there are so many characters I feel I need a score card to keep abreast of their comings and goings.

  137. Dennis Jimenez
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#136): It’s udderly fantastic….

  138. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    JP – Manley’s depiction of April’s bodacious tatas seems to be distracting us from the fact that she’s completely wasted.

  139. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#133): I’ve never noticed how hands are drawn in Judge Parker.

  140. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#134): possible float material, that is.

  142. Uncle Lumpy
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#139):

    I’ve never noticed how hands are drawn in Judge Parker.

    They have hands, in Judge Parker now? You’re sure you don’t mean Dick Tracy?

  143. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#131): … the : ) which remained some time after the rest had gone.

  144. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140): And also…

    @Uncle Lumpy (#142): Dick Tracy I noticed but I keep getting distracted in Judge Parker.

  145. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#128): I actually screwed up my other reference in that comment by failing to capitalize “Cosmos.” Thank god nobody remembers the NASL.

  146. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Master Mahan (#125): Halftrack will kill before he’s dragged into rehab.

    If he were a real badass, Amos would go into rehab and recruit members of his treatment circle back to the dark side, like Pinkman in Breaking Bad.

  147. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Violet (#135): Well, in the old days, one could strangle him/herself with the various phone cords. Now, you have to wait for the radiation-induced cancer to set in your eardrum and head.

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#127): I miss the days when Barreto drew it – talk about soft-core! – now that man knows how to draw a woman. Now that he’s recovered, he’s doing great on the Sunday Phantom, but he’m missed at JP.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#136): Hooters! Total up your score at Hooters!

  150. Shrug
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Pondering MARK TRAIL: There’s a cliche movie scene in which a guy is locked in an old-fashioned jail cell, the guard is briefly away for some reason, and the guy is quietly encouraging a friendly dog to pull the keys down from the nail on the wall with his mouth and bring them on over.

    What we have developing here is this scene in reverse: Andy the dog is penned up in the equivalent of a jail cell, the guard/Mountie is going to be briefly away for some reason, and the dog will be quietly encouraging Kelly Welly to pull the keys down from the nail on the wall with her mouth and bring them on over.

    She’ll look cute while doing so, so cute that even Andy, while admittedly stressed, will not have the heart to yell at her when she bumbles around aimlessly, almost drops the keys, and so on, before finally delivering them.

    “Ahhh, isn’t that special,” thinks Andy as he skritches Kelly behind the ears, “it’s almost as though she’s intelligent and understands English!”

  151. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Archie-That’s right use that as an excuse to justify why you visting Ms. Grundy in the middle of the night.

  152. Dick Tracy
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#142): @Sequitur (#144): Hey! The eyes are up here, fellas.

  153. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal — Strangely enough, Sid is well-liked in the community!

  154. littlestevie
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): Yeah, but couldn’t that shadow army that is going to try to kill the Phantom have a few female types in it, just to liven it up a bit.

  155. seismic-2
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Why couldn’t they have drawn names to match the partners? If Gunther had wound up with Crystal, in less than a minute she would have reduced him to a quivering blob of blubber dripping across the floor. That would, of course, would be a vast improvement.

    And did Brad take this class when he was in high school? Have the authorities ever found where Mrs. DeGroot buried his partner’s body, after she decapitated the little whore?

    Spidey: What a heroic gesture – now the dying kids think that the only person who cares about them is a common criminal. Way to boost their spirits, Peter!

    DT: If this strip were to stay in this era from now on out, I would not complain in the least.

    JP: Or if April were to stay in that wardrobe from now on out, either.

  156. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#146): Amos “Amok” Halftrack, only man tough enough to rule the thunderdome-like hellhole that is Camp Swampy. He has the Solution!

  157. littlestevie
    October 4th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#149): Shouldn’t that be “Rack up your score at Hooters”

  158. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Heart of the CityKing Queen Dean of the Royal Mounted!

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#154): Don’t I wish! You’d think the mercenary army would spend some time in the fleshpots of corrupt ol’ Rhodia, while they gather their forces.

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#158): Excellent! You remember all those Republic (beep beep beep A Radio Picture!) serials, where the hero’s name just happens to be King? There was, of course, King of the Royal Mounted, King of the Rocketmen, King of the Texas Rangers. (Rocketmen was my favorite!). So MT has Queen of the Mounties, Sgt.. Cool!

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    The part of hotel clerk in Tuesday’s Mary Worth represents a career comeback — not to mention a return from the dead — for veteran comic Arnold Stang.

  162. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#144): “Dick Tracy I noticed but I keep getting distracted in Judge Parker.”

    If you want to see hands in JP, you have to look anywhere but the tatas.

  163. Walker of Dog
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#124): Randy bought April a customized, slightly convex mirror, so that everything would appear larger – because it’s only money, right? However, based on your cup analysis, it sounds like it’s going back to NASA for a do-over.

  164. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#150): “it’s almost as though she’s intelligent and understands English!”

    The key word being “almost.”

  165. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Speaking of which, where’s Tiffany? I guess since there are only three boys at Pitts High, Fogarty gave her the day off to even out the pairing-off numbers.

  166. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#155): re Luann and “family classes”… Do schools these days still use eggs as children, or have they all graduated to the lifelike baby-dolls with computers and recorders inside? I like the new computerized models, because they can be programmed to “go off” at all different hours, and you have to figure out which of the buttons (diaper, burp, feed, etc) to push, and the student has to wear a non-removable RFID tag for the duration of the class to prove he/she didn’t just leave the thing in a car trunk all weekend. (Of course, I know some adults who have jacked with students by shaking the doll when the student isn’t looking :) )

    Personally, I never had to go through this kind of class — at my school they were reserved for the home-ec students, while I was on the CP/AP class track. (No insult intended, BTW, although my wife would note that at her high school the students in those family classes often practiced on their own kids).

    Seems to me in my earliest Luann-reading experiences (pre-makeover, perhaps), that the strip already did this plotline, with the Tiffany/Knute pairing managing to drop their egg-baby on the sidewalk.

  167. commodorejohn
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#163): No, no, all he needs to do is move the mirror downward so that the center point (where the convex effect is greatest) is on level with the parts to be, erm, magnified.

  168. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    HiLo (redux): Some alternate contents of the BIG BOX:
    Big Box of Bear
    Big Box of Deer
    Big Box of Fear
    Big Box of Dead Ukrainian Hookers
    Big Box of Contraceptive Foam
    Big Box of Little Box’s
    Big Box of Botox
    Big Box of Ox
    Big Box of Lox
    Big Box of Ziggy’s Talking Poo
    Big Box of Lies
    Big Box of Missing Cats

  169. Walker of Dog
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#167): Her beautiful smile?

  170. The Gringo Kid
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#168): Big Box of Lox, with a side order of Big Box of Bagels

  171. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#168): Baka Gaijin is concerned about this Big Box of Clowns!

  172. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#171): Are they dead clowns…..inna box ?

  173. Little Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    yLuann: Boy-Girl, Boy-Girl, Boy-Gir…. I see you, Evans, hiding behind Lawrence’s flower shop. I know the letter-writing fanatics still live in 1950. Even Doonesbury is in the 21st Century. Just saying….

  174. Illustrator Steve
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    MT – WHAT is Mark Trail going to do around the quiet little valley while his dog is in quarintine?
    Well, let’s see… he COULD go looking for the golden leg-band bird-bander, (which, BY THE WAY, is the ONLY reason he CAME all the way up to that God-forsaken wilderness)
    Or, what the heck, he and his friend Johnny could just GO FISHING!
    “Hey Mark, is that a meteor heading right at us?”.
    “Don’t worry Johnny, I have my NOAA emergency radio on at all times. Just relax and enjoy the fishing!”.

  175. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#172): Baka can only hope.

  176. Illustrator Steve
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#160):
    Then there was,
    Sargent Preston of the NorthWest Royal Mounted Police with his faithfull dog….KING!
    Sky KING, KING Kong, and of course, from Pee-Wee’s playhouse.. THE KING OF CARTOONS!

  177. Little Guy
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#168):

    Big Box of Contrived Greg Evans Plotlines
    Big Box of McE Porn
    Big Box of SpideyAngst
    Big Box of Billingsly Resets
    Big Box of Barettos’ Best

  178. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#172): with a fox?

  179. Government Cheese
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    H&L: I think a “Big Box of Feces” would have increased readership.

    Luann: Gunter’s reaction reminds me of the Simpson’s episode where Ralph gets a valentine from Lisa and says “You choo-choo choose me?” Also, does Gunter ever do laundry? Or does he purchase all his shirts from a lumberjack depot?

    A3G: This “Margot is a bitch” shtick is getting old. I’m hoping she ruins the impending wedding ala MW Jill style.

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#179): re H&L comment: that’s Marvin. . . .

  181. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#178): “Drink to me only with thine fox…”

  182. Carly
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Are you sure Margo’s paying Lu Ann to work at the gallery? She probably expects her to do it for free, or at least less than is considered legally acceptable.

  183. Joe Blevins
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    (today’s zomby) AND TWO GREAT SONGS MISSING FROM THE SOMETHING WILD SOUNDTRACK!

    And to tie this into the “hippie” theme, one of those songs is “Wozani Mahipi” or “Hippies Come to Soweto.”

  184. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#126): BC–Hippie jokes. In 2011. Uh-yuh.
    Hell, it’s nice to see something in BC besides stories ripped from today’s headlines and/or golf.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#181): Wait, didn’t I say that on the other side of the record? I’d better check!

  185. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Jeebus! What kind of cheesy Deity steals a roll of toilet paper from the patient’s bathroom! And what’s he even gonna do with it anyway — put it on his razor nicks?

    Also, it’s unclear at this point whether Diane’s off to have an epidural, a C-section, or a hydatidiform mole.

  186. Shrug
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    “9CL: Jeebus! What kind of cheesy Deity steals a roll of toilet paper from the patient’s bathroom!”

    Well, to reuse a gag from a couple of days ago, this is how Sgt. McQueen will be lured away from his office long enough for Kelly to get at the key — she will tell him there’s a self-styled Deity a few comic strips over who just swiped some toilet paper, and that it’s his job to arrest him as a member of the Royal Canadian Monty Police.

  187. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175): Big Box of Dead Frown Clowns in Live Goat Coats !

  188. jnoble
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#179):

    And we can only hope Luann turns out like the end of that Simpsons episode:
    Rosa (angry): Now you listen to me Gunther! I don’t LIKE YOU! I NEVER LIKED you! And the only reason I chose you is because no one else will!!

    Gunther: (runs off crying)

  189. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#186): I’m not familiar enough with their statutes to know what he’d be charged with. Assbanditry?

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#177): Big Box of Borborygmous

  191. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Big Box of the ‘Other’ Keane Kids

  192. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190): Oops, that should be “borborygmi”, plural, you see.

  193. Rod Weep
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#133):

    Thanks sir. Most of that I already know, but I’m sure you knew that. The shoulders were an attempt to draw him kind of slumped, which I woun’t be doing again. :D

    The puffy hands will stay just because, that’s about all I can handle.

    Speaking of perspective, you should se the nightmare tomorrow’s strip will be. :)

    Personally, I’m going to use a thinner pen, thinner lines for the word balloons, and I like the muted colors in the background of day one better then the bright ones I used today. I noticed Lucy and Schroeder used to have a lot of pink behind then. Still though, too bright.

    On the upside, I sampled colors form an actual pic of Kurt Cobain to do the Schoeder character and I like the name of his alt rock band.

    More tomorrow. Thanks for the time:

    http://peanutshellscomic.blogspot.com/

  194. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#187): And a partridge in a pear tree.

  195. Rod Weep
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Oh and:

    @commodorejohn (y#88):

    Thanks for the jpeg advice. See? On day and I’m already less blurry! Sydication, here I come! :D :D :D

    http://peanutshellscomic.blogspot.com/

  196. Comcis Fan
    October 4th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#44): Amusing MW commentary!

  197. Old School Allie Cat
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury – How did I not see this coming? Well played, Trudeau.

    And that’s all I’ve got – amazing how a little gastrointestinal virus will drain the snark right out of you.

  198. commodorejohn
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Weep (#195): Indeed, the image encoding is a lot better, which brings out another issue: you’re not using anti-aliased text. What tools are you using to do this? Those word balloons look kind of MS Paint-ish, and as absolutely anyone will tell you, never ever use MS Paint for anything that isn’t pixel art. Pick up an old [*] copy of Photoshop 7, or try the GIMP, or something, but don’t use Paint. It also looks like you’re doing the colors with flood-fill on top of scanned lineart? Don’t do that. If you want a color comic, either do the colors on paper, or scan the sketches and do the inking digitally, and then use fills on a layer underneath. That way you won’t get those stray un-filled pixels around the line edges.

    None of which, I’m afraid, addresses the issue that this premise is just played out as all hell. You’re fairly handy with the actual dialogue, but to be frank it’s wasted on this strip. I’d say ditch it and create your own strip; it only seems like more work until you get a few key characters or concepts figured out, then it all tends to come together.

  199. commodorejohn
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#198): P.S. All-caps only works in hand-lettering. Even then, mixed-case allows a lot more range for expression.

  200. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    We had an interesting bit of in-yard squee this evening. The QG was turning her compost pile, and discovered that it was infested by shrews. (northern short-tailed, by the look of it.) talk about soft-furred critters! She mentioned that she was wondering about the lack of earthworms and other creepy-crawlies in the pile, and having 4-6 shrews there would explain a lot of that!

    I was inside making a batch of herb-garlic roasted red potatoes, which turned out wonderfully, to go with a pretentious Spanish red and cold grilled chicken thighs.

  201. Liam
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-There is enough alcohol there to give an entire fraternity alcohol poisoning.

  202. AeroSquid
    October 4th, 2011 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#201): or in other words: Tuesday at the Thurston’s

  203. Baka Gaijin
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#157): Auugh! I knew there was another set of breasts I could put in that quip. Thanks for finding them. I feel like Sam Driver.

    @AeroSquid (#172): It had better be a big box o’ dead clowns. It had better be on a truck headed toward the big tire fire on the edge of town. You can never be too careful in these situations.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#178): That fox had better be Courtney Cox, and she’d better be dousing with gasoline that box.

    @Government Cheese (#179): Margo will derail the marriage well before that. In a fit of pique Margo tells Paul that LuAnn is a bottle blonde, then sleeps with him in her room in 3-G, making sure to parade him through the kitchen the next morning in her crotchless panties. LuAnn, having her daily bowl of Boring Bran, notices but it takes 14 panels to realize what’s happening. Tommie is there too but no one cares.

    @AeroSquid (#187): Are the goats in the coats hungry? That would be good. But they’d have to be incinerated. That would be bad.

    @Old School Allie Cat (#197): Tis true. I was as shocked as her mother and Sarge.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#200): “… with a pretentious Spanish red and cold grilled chicken thighs.” Thus begins a porno for Pluggers.

  204. Rod Weep
    October 4th, 2011 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#198):

    Thanks again. Yes I am using MS Paint, and yes, I do know it sucks. :D :D :D

    Thanks for the GIMP. Never heard of it. Looks great. I’m going to fart around on it now.

    BTW: Anyone else here do a webcomic? Don’t be shy. Can’t be worse than mine. :) :

    http://peanutshellscomic.blogspot.com/

  205. Sgt. Stoned
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#31): MT: Maybe Elrod was out sick the day that Cartoonist School taught “the art of the thought-balloon”.

  206. Baramos
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    I can’t be too facetious about that B.C. comic. That is literally the funniest B.C. comic in years, sadly, possibly since it’s conception.

  207. Baramos
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Weep (#204): Absolutely perfect idea and I hope you can keep it going.

    Quality of the artwork ain’t everything, the concept is the important part. I mean I read Garfield Minus Garfield which is just Garfield strips with Garfield removed, showing John as an insane loner.

  208. Pseudo3D
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Weep (#204): I think you can only promote your website (or whatever) a limited number of times in the comments before it’s a bannable defense.

  209. Pucacodog
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rod Weep (#193): I liked the first installment very much.

  210. Uncle Lumpy
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#208):

    I think you can only promote your website (or whatever) a limited number of times in the comments before it’s a bannable defense.

    True dat, but it’s OK to use the “Website” box to link to your site.

  211. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#200):
    Mmmmm, herb-garlic roasted red potatoes. I heard they go well with basil-roasted shrew.

  212. Écureuil Écumant
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#200): “cold grilled chicken thighs.”

    Cooked by the Cerenkov radiation coming off the top of the cold fusion unit? Has that yummy free-radical tang microwaving just can’t provide.

  213. un malpaso
    October 4th, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Questions I Never Wanted to Have Answered:

    1.) If a dinosaur eats a stoned hippie caveman, does he (the dinosaur) get a contact high?

    2.) If Thirsty drinks a whole cargo-load of generic beer, does he fall asleep first, or black out and beat his wife first? Or am I thinking of Andy Capp?

    3.) If Lu Ann neglects her duties as token blonde at some bullcrap gallery “performance,” will the NYC art world collapse, and if so, will anyone notice and/or care?

  214. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Baramos (#206): Whoa. Now I know how those computer brains on Star Trek felt when Kirk told them two plus two equalled seven.

  215. seismic-2
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    I am curious about what kind of beer comes in a big box. Is this a box of Pilsners, a box of Porters, a box of Stouts, or a box of Bocks?

  216. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Baramos (#206): HUH?!

    *does a double take and shakes head like the Aflac duck when he met Yogi Berra*

  217. Scott Bot
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @jnoble (#188): Did Gunther choo-choo-choose Rosa?

  218. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 4th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#168): Big Box of Sweaty Jockstraps (courtesy of the Milford Mudlarks)

  219. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#160), @Illustrator Steve (#176):

    I know of at least two flying heroes named “King”: the Jeff King character from the King of the Rocket Men movie serial and Schuyler (or Skyler) King a/k/a Sky King from radio/television.

  220. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#219): There’s also acrobat Bert King from King of the Carnival (1955) — reportedly one of worst Republic serials ever made.

  221. Sequitur
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#220):
    Davy, Davy Crockett.
    King of the wild frontier!

  222. Terrapin
    October 4th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    MT: Normally I would make some comment about how old fashionally sexist Mountie’s dialogue is, but in this case he is absolutely right. Kelly shouldn’t be outside the confines of whatever institution she escaped from let alone running around loose in the woods.

  223. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 5th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#221):

    Then there’s Sonny Crockett, King of the Slip-on Sockless Loafers.

  224. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 5th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#223): Don’t forget that Popeye was “King of the Mardi Gras” in one cartoon.

  225. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 5th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#224):

    But Mark Trail’s Doc Davis is King of the Goose Liver Foie Gras*.

    *R.I.P. Goldy Goose!

  226. Droopy Says
    October 5th, 2011 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Once again the useless spidersense radiates bolts of lightning as though energy exists inside Spiderman’s head.

    Mock Trail: Sometimes it seems like Elrod pulls his ideas out of his ass, but I never thought he’d stoop to using a rabbit’s ass.

    Family Circus: “Daddy, when you were little were you any good at being a kid? Because you’ve spent sixty fucking years making your own kids look like deformed morons, and I’m kinda wondering if that signifies some deep-seated resentments over your own rotten childhood.”

    EffYou Wankerbeat: And you can’t fix stupid . . . because stupid covers everything with paper.

  227. Poteet
    October 5th, 2011 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    MT — What is this, a contest to see who can demonstrate the most irresponsible behavior in regard to dogs?

  228. FOOBed again
    October 5th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#166): Don’t ask why, but I found where Luann did the “Family class” plotline–it started May 15, 2000.

    http://www.gocomics.com/luann/2000/05/15

  229. A New Day
    October 5th, 2011 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    @Lord-z (#15): I wondered about Margo’s past as a wedding planner too. Wouldn’t having Margo ‘plan’ LuAnn’s wedding be a perfect way to show off both girl’s respective talents? Margo could brow-beat LuAnn into making ludicrous, bank-breaking suggestions, and LuAnn could whine about how she really wanted pastel-colored doves on the back of her wedding dress or something. And they could both be so wrapped up in the wedding that they ignore Tommie’s existence… though I guess they’ve got that part covered anyway.

  230. Just some guy
    October 5th, 2011 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    I like how B.C. has a bong in the background.
    It’s sure gotten edgier and less Jesus-friendly since Hart died.

  231. Mike Pike
    October 5th, 2011 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    Goddamn! Dinos and Jesus freaks really *did* live together!

  232. Mark B
    October 5th, 2011 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    I’m having a hard time believing that Kelly Welly figured this all out on her own. She usually exhibits the intellectual capacity of a paper clip. It’s just extremely implausible.

  233. Little Guy
    October 5th, 2011 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: I’d love to see this reaction in Spiderman when J^3 unmasks Peter.

    MT: No stock panel on Kelly laying on the bed in her slip? Jackelrodball, I am disappoint.

    Candorville: So, this plotline meanders without end?

    Curtis: Barry Wilkins…. OF THE FUTURE!!!!!

  234. MWDG
    October 5th, 2011 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    I think Gina should make an explicit porn of herself (perhaps with some of Mary’s Chartertone pals) and send it to Bobby’s iPhone so that he can see what he has been missing all these years.

  235. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 5th, 2011 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    @MWDG (#234): …and she could call it “My Little Ponytail”!

  236. Dennis Jimenez
    October 5th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#168): Big Box of Slylock Fox (and Lox)

  237. NotThatGuy
    October 5th, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh Josh, you are probably too young to remember Beer Beer, back when generics took over (briefly) in the stores. White label (or can) with black BEER lettering. Back before Big Box Stores, even, if such a time can even be imagined.

    “BEER. Ask for it by name. Accept no substitutes.”

  238. Bucky
    October 17th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    BION I’m ipmrsesed! Cool post!

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