The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: The Summer of Gail

Have things reached a tipping point when I don’t announce a lookalike contest but people still keep sending me lookalike photos anyway? Probably! Kaycee, who’s a faithful reader and close personal friend (I’ve seen her put away a bottle of wine, people!) recreated that golden moment when we first laid eyes on the Rock & Roll Carole King:

And faithful reader ElSanto was among the many who saw the reference to “the One” a few days ago and immediately thought of The Matrix. But instead of just moving on with his life, he created this awesome YouTube video based on the idea:

As a side note, I think it’s a sign of what a wonderful a summer of Gil Thorp madness we have to look forward to that we’re currently getting a return visit from the guy who cut his own leg off and that’s the B plot.

In other news, faithful reader jaybrrd wore his Molly the Bear shirt to Six Flags for his official Six Flags photo!

Reports of hostility could not be confirmed at press time.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 20, 2007 at 05:32 pm and is filed under Gil Thorp, metaposts. |

132 responses to “Metapost: The Summer of Gail”

The Divine O’F
July 20th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Geez, I feel like a slacker, what with not posting photos or dislocating parts of my anatomy to copy comics’ capers. Congratulations to everyone mentioned above, and I’d like to say that I greatly prefer Kaycee’s appearance to the real Gail.

Trilobite: I killed the last thread with a post to you.
ElSanto
July 20th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Thanks for the shout out, Josh! Though I’m pretty sure there’s a special spot in Nerd Hell for People Who Make Gil Thorpe Fan Videos. :p
Blade Runner
July 20th, 2007 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

Wow! That was an awesome Matrix parody. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but yesterday I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that Elrond from Lord of the Rings and Agent Smith from the Matrix are played by the same actor Hugo Weaving. I could hear him saying “Now, about the ring, Mr Baggins. Please hand it over.” All slow and spooky.
Maughta
July 20th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

That is one of the awesomest things I’ve ever seen. Which shows you that I need to get out more.
MossMoses
July 20th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

jaybrrd, what kind of response do you get from people while wearing your Molly shirt? I’ve had a couple of people tell me they aren’t being hostile and I have to explain to them that the shirt was not manufactured expressly for them nor is it directed at them personally. I never bother explaining the inside joke. It’s more entertaining that way.
TeacherPatti
July 20th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

Love the video and the picture!! As they say on that internet thing, WOOT!

Btw, a Carole King song came on Sirius radio today…I thought, fondly, of our very own Gail. The next step, of course, is to call radio stations and start asking them to play one of Gail’s songs (kind of like when we used to prank call radio stations, back in the days before caller ID, and ask them to play make believe songs. You would not believe how mad some of the DJs got at us teen girls :))
Uncle Lumpy
July 20th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

#3 Blade Runner –

Elrond from Lord of the Rings and Agent Smith from the Matrix are played by the same actor Hugo Weaving

And the voice of Megatron in Transformers, following in the footsteps of Orson Welles, Kenosha, WI boy last seen as the voice of Unicron in the 1986 animated version.

Terrific video, ElSanto – you’re a saint!
jaybrrd
July 20th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

#5 Moss — I most frequently wear it at work — I do the customer service thing and frequently deal with jackasses who don’t understand that they signed a contract, and then determine that they didn’t and that I must be doing this as a personal affront to them and …

But I digress. I wear the shirt mostly the day after some obnoxious confrontation, and for the most part, receive adulation for it. It makes me quite the hit with the ladies too, which is sad, since I’m gay.
Mooncattie
July 20th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

ElSanto, brilliant video!

MW – Dawn’s “Flapper” hairdo is a hint to what she hasn’t done in a while. She has a secret filthy fetish for dancing The Charleston, and she’s about to drag the unsuspecting Doctor into her sicko 23-Skidoo fantasy world.
OR she’s proposing a tennis match, and who will they bump into but Vera and Von and something less than hilarity will ensue.
edgeways
July 20th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

great video A++
True Fable
July 20th, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#1 The Divine O’F – So far my rant against Tom Batiuk was the last one yesterthread, and I am going to leave it there and not re-thread it (darn? re-weave?) but oh glory, it was a good healthy veins-in-the-teeth roarfest.

Batiuk interview w/ dumbass remarks + Fable state of mind + rant = small mushroom cloud over Greater Metropolitan Roopville.
The Divine O’F
July 20th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

11 True Fable: Yes, it was an excellent rant. You are probably the King of Rant, an inspiration to us all (me especially). However, this particular rant did not kill the thread. The thread was still alive when I composed my reply to Trilobite, and the new thread was up by the time it appeared.
True Fable
July 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#12 The Divine O’F – Oh, I see what you mean. That is true. Yours served the death blow. My rant came after yours and started while that one was still viable but took so long to compose, I didn’t know there was a new one started.

You slay me, darlin’. In a good way. :-)

Josh – where are the other Gail Martin lookalike contenders? Can we see, huh Spike, can we can we? Huh?
The Divine O’F
July 20th, 2007 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

13 TF: I usually compose my posts elsewhere, then renew the CC page before posting. Especially since, appearance to the contrary notwithstanding (I always try to use that phrase once or twice a year), I do take some time over my posts.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the evening. I’m outta here till tomorrow.
Jude
July 20th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Wow, that video is composed of pure, unmitigated win. Good show!
SmartPeopleOnIce
July 20th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

So is that a real hairbraid or a Sears hairbraid?

Once-bitten, twice-shy an’ all. Just sayin’…
AT
July 20th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Even though it’s just a trailer, I can say without doubt or hesitation that The Milford Matrix is a far superior movie to The Matrix, More Matrix, and Please God Enough With the Matrix.

Although I don’t quite see Clambake as Morpheus. Clambake would obviously be Agent Smith. And Cancer Solidarity Girl could be Neo.
holli
July 20th, 2007 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

like so many great things that video is simultaneously awesome
and deranged.
Dean Booth
July 20th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

What great pics! ElSanto, I’m in awe!
Joel
July 20th, 2007 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

Well done Kayce! The braid on the left says, “sure the braid was on the right, but I’ve been rock and roll carol kinging my heart out for so long, that there’s not telling where that crazy thing will wind up.”
Ukulele Ike
July 20th, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

…..I always thought that Laura Nyro was the “rock ‘n roll Carole King.”
bats :[
July 20th, 2007 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

No, Divine, I killed the last thread.

(and I am Spartacus!)
Jamus The Bartender
July 20th, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

The Gospel Of Josh According To Jamus
Book Of Curmudgeonites, Chapter Three
And it came to pass that after Great Emperor Chennux got his starship, the “Tarzana Nights” out of the San Francisco Police Department impound yard, Josh said unto the assembled Curmudgeonites, “Let us take this conveyance and travel around the world with it, and bring the Word Of Snark to the people who need it and bless them.”
Actually it was more like, “Let’s take this thing for a joyride. Who’s buying?”:
And many were the questions asked, “Is there a wet bar?” , ” Can I bring my plants?” , “I have a cat, can I bring her along?” ” Do we need that many potatoes?”…until all boarded the ship, and flew off towards the land called…Ohio.
After landing the ship, Josh and his disciples came upon a place of much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Montoni’s Pizza.
The disciples looked around with wonderment, “I have never seen a place so ultimately depressing, not even Tempe when it doesn’t rain” Dingo said.
The Divine Ms O’F said, “It’s not New Orleans, that’s for damn sure.”
Spider-Brick said, “There’s probably no model train stores here either”(congrats on the job, SB)
Jamus, the giver of wine said, “I’m not getting laid here, am I?”
Then, many and numerous came up to Josh and the Curmudgeonites, asking to be healed.
“Heal us….we are alcohoics with many forms of cancer.” “Unclean, unclean.” “My comic book store’s basement flooded”
Josh said to the assembled, “Um…well, that’s not really our thing…we…um….we’re all about snarking”
“Snarking…what is that?” said the music director who could not hear, “Is that like music? Is it depressing? Will it make the listener want to cut their wrists down and across?”
“No, no, ” said Les The Teacher, who was soon to be one spouse less, ” Snarking is like when you get really bad news and make a funny smile, even though it’s not appropriate all the time”
” That’s SMIRKING,” said Les’ friend Funky, who was still named Funky even though he had a child and was sort of an adult.
Two goth kids asked Josh to “Tell us of this snarking if it is appropriately depressing. This pleases us. Does it involve dark clothing?”
Then, the king of the depressing Ohio town, a man who went by the name of Batty Uck, said to Josh and the assembled, “Heal any of these people , or show any hope at all and I swear to God i’ll haul your asses into court.”
“You don’t know what you want. I’ve got it all planned out….wait ten years…you haven’t seen anything yet. Carcinoma, HPV…we’ve got it all.”
“We were just leaving,” saith Josh to King Batty Uck. “Haul up Curmudgeons….we’re off to Charterstone…”
In the ship, many were the discussions of the town. ” That place sucked, and not in a good way, ” said Dingo.
“It kind of reminded me of American Splendor, but without the compelling storylines, or hope of any kind.” Jamus said.
“SHALL I FIRE THE MAGMACANNONS, LORD JOSH?” asked Emperor Chennux.
“Nah…better give it a rest…we’ll need the fuel for our next stop….”
maurice
July 20th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

more matrix mule
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 20th, 2007 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

Jamus, can I fling myself at someone’s skull next stop? Make sure it’s someone deserving.
Jamus The Bartender
July 20th, 2007 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

26. Definitely. This seems like a good time to mention that i’m gonna be out of town , and NO internet access, (damn luddite family) from July 23 to the 31st. I’ll be in the northwoods visiting family and re-communing with nature and sleeping till noon every day, unless my sister asks me to watch her kids, which she will. Meantime, i’ve got stops planned for Skull Cave, Charterstone, the woods where Mark Trail hangs, a certain suburb of Toronto, and a certain basketball court.
Actually, this should be taken with a grain of salt. For all I know, the basketball court thing may be resolved by the end of July. Or not.
AhClem
July 20th, 2007 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Kaycee: The Left-Handed Rock & Roll Carole King!
Big Sims
July 20th, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

Oh so many threads ago, I think 188 yesterday.
Bootsy, chilly Gentilly? Go ahead wit yo bad self. I’m an uptown fella myself but that’s where I could dump the boys off with the grandparents and my wife and I will gladly make it to the Quarters.
Who else is in? There has to be more mudges from the Gulf South!
Dingo
July 20th, 2007 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

So, my neighbor had a garage sale today and there was a woman at said sale with a little girl with blonde hair in a pony tail. I came very close to asking if I could snap a photo of the moppet with my cellphone to post on the internet when the thought of those words actually hit me. And I didn’t.

Josh, you have great friends!

ElSanto, that was awesome!

Jaybrrd, do you bill yourselves as los tres tamales calientes?
ralph
July 20th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean: I am among those who have chosen to not read FW, also known as Mean-about-cancercancercancer to the nth power. (All the recent rants and the continuing posts just reaffirm my personal choice, so thanks to those who continue to read it. ) Today after reading a news article featuring none other than the gloating mean cartoonist, I dreamed a better plot. In my fantasy the cancer character discovers that the MD (yeah the same one that mixed up the lab results) is just a batty old fraud. That person is arrested for impersonating a real MD. The sickness the cancer character has been feeling was from all the treatments that she didn’t need. She escapes the strip, a la Old Bean’s version of For Better or For Worse. Hooo! NEXT: She stops feeling depressed and lives happily EVER AFTER.
kingkong
July 20th, 2007 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

simply the best vid ever
alamo
July 20th, 2007 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

congrats and a tip of the old alamo dome topper to the cotw winners.

i am still in mourning that my intellectual offerings were not found acceptable to the god(s) (josh?) who determine the worthiness of same sacrifices.

mea culpa mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. my joke-soul is not worthy that thy imprimatur should come unto my humour house, but only say the word and my bon mots will be healed.

hey…. it’s been a long week!!
Jamus The Bartender
July 20th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

The Gospel Of Josh According To Jamus
Chapter Three Supplemental
And it came to pass that in the days of the visit to the town of wailing and gnashing of teeth and tumors too numerous to mention, Josh and the Curmudgeonites did travel in their ship the “Tarzana Nights” for a short while.
Until someone spoke up and said”We’re hungry and tired of potatoes. And we were supposed to eat at Montoni’s , but didn’t. Can we get something to eeeaaaaaaat?”
“I’LL TURN THIS SHIP AROUND, ” said Great Emperor Chennux, the ship’s owner and current pilot, as he’s got the tentacles to fly it.
“We’re out of tuna casserole” said Josh’s wife, Amber.
“I know where we can find some excellent Risotto.” said Trotzenbonnie, who was the faithful Curmudgeon who went to New Orleans and not Divine Ms O’F, and Jamus feels like a dumbass for not checking his facts, and is wearing a hairshirt even as he writes this.
GE Chennux landed the ship in a little town called Pitts, which sounds depressing, but is actually not so much. The Curmudgeonites did disembark from the ship, and come upon a man trapped in a tree.
“Frank DeGroot….” saith Josh unto him.
“YOU! COME! DOWN! ” shouted the collected Curmudgeons in his direction. “For we’re going to your house today, for some fine Risotto made by Brad’s buddy TJ, who suprisedeth everyone with his fine cooking skills. We’ll buy the rice.”
Frank looked sorely embarrassed and said, “The ladder fell down and I got stuck up here trimming branches…” Then a big fire engine pulled up whereupon the Son Of Groot disembarked and helped him from the tree while his neighbors laughed at him and called him a bird and mocked and spat upon him.
Soon, Frank forgot about his vexing problem, and had a good time eating risotto with Our Lord Josh and the disciples, and talked the night long about comic strips. “Blessed are you and your family, Frank, for although you are no Doonesbury, or even Sally Forth, you and yours are an entertaining slice of life strip,which, although unambitious, is also humble, competent, and often clever without being presumptuous. And, in these post-Calvin And Hobbes days, that is no small thing. Blessed be unto you, Frank DeGroot. Now we must depart…where’s Jamus?”
Jamus was in the backyard with the Daughter of Groot, who was sunning herself in the backyard, pouring glass upon glass of tequila unto her, and giggling….”So, you’ve just turned eighteen, huh?” Luann nodded and giggled….
“GET IN THE GODDAMN SHIP JAMUS!” yelled most of the Curmudgeonites , for they had seen this before.
Here endeth the lesson.
Allie Cat
July 20th, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

I am disappointed to learn that Tom Batuik plans to jump 10 years ahead, but even more disappointed that we didn’t get to witness the act of Darin impregnating Hottie McTits. Throw us a bone, Batuik! I mean, the mussed-hair afterglow was lovely, but I’d love to see the look on their faces at climax. I suspect its a barely perceptible smirk.

Also – Jaybrrd – I grew up in Hotlanta and remember fondly 2 things in particular about Six Flags over GA. 1. The Mindbender, which just kicks ass. 2. The fact that they haven’t ever changed out the soundtrack tape on the Monster Plantation – arguably the most craptacular ride at Six Flags. I haven’t been in a few years, but I recall a stand up coaster that we renamed “The Nutcracker” for the between-the-legs safety bar that could easily have rendered my husband sterile. And also, because there’s a roasted nut stand at the exit of the ride.
Major Hooples Boarding House
July 20th, 2007 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

Spectacular Spider-Brick

Congrats on the job! I’ve got 35 years of Model Railroader on my shelves. It’s a great magazine. Good luck & your choice of deity bless.
Major Hooples Boarding House
July 20th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

Dingo -

If you get that job at Niagara County Community College, the best place to live would be Lewiston. There’s the Artpark, jazz festivals and great restaurants and pubs. (it’s my home-town too)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 20th, 2007 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Hey, Ed Power, writer of My Cage… what’s the name of the town or city My Cage is set in? And where is it? If I point out to Jamus the opportunity to mack on Maureen Fox or maybe even Liv Tyger, I’m sure he’ll make time for a visit.
Jamus The Bartender
July 20th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

37. We are so there.
MeBert Uearnie
July 20th, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

#3 – At the Lord of the Rings showing, at the moment when Frodo wakes up to see Elrond hovering over him, I was seized with a horrible compulsion.

I leaned over to my husband and whispered in his ear, “Welllllcome to Rivendellll, Mr. Baggins.”

Oddly enough, we’re still married. :)
bubujin
July 20th, 2007 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

ElSanto: BWAHAHA * 10^7!

#4 Maughta: who needs to get out when we have everything we need right here?
Joe Btfsplk
July 20th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

The challenge: Construct an at least remotely plausible new caption for Family Circus, made entirely out of an anagram of the original caption. Here’s mine…

Look, salad tub! Fart not at our mad green cult god! I’m a dizzy twit.

(remotely being the key word here)
Trotzenbonnie
July 20th, 2007 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

Schlemeil! Schlemazl! Hasenpfeffer Inc!
Hooray, Spectacular Spider Brick and congratulations on your new gig in Milwaukee.
(Who dare say anything bad about model trains. I’ll have a go at them – but good. Mr. Trotz and I had quite the ‘O’ gauge layout in our basement -back in the days when we had a basement.)

It’s Mr. T’s birthday and we haven’t finished celebrating yet but SSB’s news was too good to let slip by.
rich
July 20th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

Tom Batiuk looks like…

…a cross between Christopher Guest and Mark Moses (“Paul Young” of Desperate Housewives).
dreadedcandiru2
July 20th, 2007 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

Foob 7/21: Gee, Mike, What else besides photographs can picked up, held and cherished? Here’s a hint, Boy Genius; it’s something in the room your in. Something on your LAP, to be specific, Mister King Author Man. Just as that nasty little girl Michelle is Curtis’ moral equivalent of his dad’s pack of smokes, fleeing your kids when things get tough is your addiction, isn’t it? Let’s hope the hybrid is your rehab, jackass!
Dingo
July 20th, 2007 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Tom Batiuk looks like Bob Balaban after a rough night of masturbation.
Moon Mullins
July 21st, 2007 at 12:06 am [Reply]

Tom Batiuk looks like –

His high-school-based comic strip is his way to exact some cathartic revenge against those cool kids who kept his head squashed in the Shop Class vise grip for so long, leaving him forever with a mug like a stepped-on rotting eggplant.
Dingo
July 21st, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: In today’s episode, Sam’s right breast begins to speak. The left breast is keeping lookout for the bird varmints and is silent. When Mark arrives, both breasts will sing It Must Be Him, made famous by Vikki Carr.
dreadedcandiru2
July 21st, 2007 at 12:09 am [Reply]

Cancer CancerDeath: Darin will find out about Lisa long after she’s dead. Who did not see THAT coming and why?

Curtis: Like I said, Michelle is his pack of Luckys. Why else he have the same body posture his Dad does when he harps on the evils of nicotine.

Crankshaft: Back in the day, he and his daugher were obstructed by girders. Now, the’re obstructed by groupies. Mirth ensues.

Luann: Now THAT’S a healthy fater-child relationshio. Take notes, Mrs. Johnston.
Moon Mullins
July 21st, 2007 at 12:13 am [Reply]

Saturday JP:

C’mon Barreto, you are just playing with us now. Of course you made Trudi lean over in such a midriff-baring top-heavy way that screams “do me doggie style while you grope my front!” But did you have to make her pants so tight that her taut ass reflects light?

I’ll be back online in a few minutes. Something’s suddenly come up.
Dingo
July 21st, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

Dawn Weston’s red lips /
Speak nonsense yet remind Drew /
Of her vagina

‘Riding horses,’ Dawn? /
Is that another way of /
Saying, “Pony up, Drew!”?

Dawn, back in saddle /
Spurs into Drew’s fleshy thighs /
She’s cocksure, yee-haw!
rich
July 21st, 2007 at 12:19 am [Reply]

The days ahead are not going to be easy ones to stomach. Batiuk promises to drag out the “Lisa Moore” death saga over the next three months, through to October. But wait — then the period of grieving will begin! And expect that to last for at least two more months. Oh, and FBorFW will be dying from here till September, hamhandedly tying up all its dangling storylines, as Elizabeth and Anthony…grow….ever…..closer.

Physically……closer.

Yes, the months ahead may be difficult ones to endure. So I’m reduced to pleading: Karen Moy! I’m sure you’ve been lurking here. We NEED you…now more than ever! I beg you to distract us from this oncoming tidal wave of bathetic putridity with a new, completely insane storyline on par with your “Tommy the Tweaker”, “Rita Begler”, or “Aldo Kelrast”. Even “Mary Worth goes to Saigon” — but with a much bigger payoff. I’m sorry, but the tragic saga of Vera and Von Shields didn’t quite do it. Karen Moy! We need you to hit one out of the park this time!!!
Moon Mullins
July 21st, 2007 at 12:19 am [Reply]

Saturday Mary Worth:

Today in panel one the role of Dawn will be played by Robert Smith of The Cure.
Poteet
July 21st, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

# 42 — Trotzenbonnie, just wanted to let you know that CrabbyGenes is fine. Busy with visitors, but fine. For some reason, Japan is more popular as a tourist destination than Iowa. Go figure:-).
Poteet
July 21st, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

# 51 — Karen Moy, please listen to rich’s plea. You can do this, Karen! We know you can! Batshit Kelrastian-style insanity — that’s what we need!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 21st, 2007 at 12:46 am [Reply]

A3G: Say it ain’t so, Joe! I guess we should have known this was coming when a bland, unattractive, personality-free, brown-haired, generic male showed up. He’s just the type to make Tommie seem interesting by comparison.

Archie: In panel 1, Veronica looks like a My Cage escapee. Hmmm… Beavers build Lodges, right? I foresee a Dean Booth mashup.

BB: Truth is, they were making out in the back row at the Bette Midler concert.

C’Shaft: What, no stupid pun or non-sequitur malapropism? How about “Talk about your obstructive cooze!”?

DtM: I’m really disturbed now. Dennis and Joey are giving their nighttime prayers together… as if they are about to retire together? Where does Joey live? Doesn’t he have a home? I’m about to abandon the “underage streetcorner trick” theory, in favor of the idea that Joey is a flesh golem, created by Mr. Mitchell because no real kids would befriend Dennis. Joey, on the other hand, is bound to Dennis by those same dark alchemic energies that animate his flesh. To leave Dennis’ side would rip the very soul from his body. It’s an artificial soul, but when that’s all you have, it becomes all the more precious.

FC: I’ll try your anagram challenge, Joe Btfsplk. Here’s today’s: “That city’s teenage homos love inner frogs.”

FBOFW: “Deanna! Come take these brats off my hands so I can print out some photos!”

JP: …a love consultant!

MT: Uh-oh! 60-foot-tall Secret Squirrel behind the sequoia has spotted Sam and is about to rat her out to Buzzard!

MW: She IS talking about the reverse cowgirl, isn’t she?! Why would she put “get back in the saddle again” in quotes if she was actually talking about getting back in the saddle? Dawn puts the “slut” in “subtle.”

Phantom: Okay, let me see if I have Stripey’s plan straight. Step 1: Swim to yacht and jump aboard. Step 2: Punch a guy. Step 3: Jump in water and swim back to canoe. Step 4: Go to Step 1. …um, couldn’t he just stay on the boat? At this rate, all the chafing is gonna give him a red chapped butt to replace his stripy purple one.

Popeye: Sweet Oyl is used to being jerked around by the hair toward Reep’s belt buckle, which is why she’s instinctively opening her mouth.

RMMD: “Lie down for just a little while… do it for me!” Come ON, Heather, does she have to do semaphore with her panties before you get the signal?

SL: Um… they’re all underwater. Nobody’s exhaling anything. Speaking of which, that shark’s just sitting there. Shouldn’t he be suffocating?

TDIET: If he has a car, why does he take the train? It would be more realistic if he bought a house within walking distance of the train station, then never rode the train at all. That’s something they’d do every time.
Jonathan Bogart
July 21st, 2007 at 12:47 am [Reply]

Early Saturday snark:

A3G: I’m reluctant to confess it, but I’ve always like Tommie best. She’s boring, yeah, but anyone who feels as relentlessly sorry for themselves as she does is a kindred spirit. Anyway, that knowing smirk in the final panel is her acknowledgement that briefly transforming into Lucille Ball in the second panel actually got Dr. McBlandypants to get inappropriately personal. But she’s about to turn him down, because she’s Margo’s girl, and when you’re Margo’s girl you’re Margo’s girl all the way.

Crankshaft: So what baseball league has fans so dumb that they wave their homemade signs facing the wrong way?

Dennis the Menace: Dennis and Joey are sleeping together. I don’t even have to take it out of context to make it horrifying.

Family Circus: When did I miss the plot line about the Keane family dying and going to Hell? That’s the only way I can make any sense out of the fact that an apparently popular kids’ show contains static shots of highway signs.

Funky Winkerbean: Aw! Now Bill Pullman’s shrunken-armed nephew is never gonna meet his birth mom! It’s all so unexpectedly tragic!

Mary Worth: Yes, Moy’s seen The Big Sleep. How cute. But “unfortunate adolescence”? Oh my God. Vera and Von fucked Dawn over somehow, didn’t they?

Non Sequitur: OMG you guys that must be Cap’n Eddie’s old flame! Like totally!!! Now for another year of living up to the title before we get any more plot advancement. (Not that I’m complaining. Dwelling incessantly on this whiny little circle of self-aware narcissists would rank somewhere between 9 Chickweed Lane and Funky Winkebean in bottomless misery.

Phantom: He said it was crazy, stripey-pants. He’s not wrong.

Pluggers: Nobody spends much time selecting their sleep attire unless they aren’t planning on sleeping. You fat, lazy schmuck. Actually, on reflection, I love the idea that pluggers think of those refined big-city liberals as people who hover in an indecisive panic for whole minutes in front of their walk-in closet, trying to decide on the silk pale-pink pajamas monogrammed by the Royal Family’s tailor, or the ones with a patterned print based on the flyleaf to the original French edition of À la recherche du temps perdu.

Rex Morgan: So close, June, so close! You should have just leaned in for the kiss anyway; I can’t stand to see that look of bitter disappointment in the third panel as Heather walks away.
Yitzchok
July 21st, 2007 at 1:03 am [Reply]

If this hasn’t been posted yet, more fun times are on the way in Fuck You Wankerbean:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/20/AR2007072000295.html

Oh, also I found out that the guy with black hair and glasses is NOT Funky Winkerbean. Apparently it’s some guy that works in a pizza joint who I’ve never actually seen in the strip. Woot.
etho
July 21st, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

Regarding the recent “Dad-in-a-tree” storyline of Luann: What the holy hell? Why is it so stunningly embarassing to accidentally kick a ladder, thus leaving you stuck in a tree? Why did he feel the need to call 911 for this unbelievably lame non-emergency? I realize they said that momma deroot was “out shopping” but what about any of the neighbors? Anyone that walks by on the sidewalk? Anyone at all that wouldn’t occupy an emergency response unit that probabl has better things to be doing?

But aside from all that, look at the tree! It’s not that tall? Anyone agile enough to climb a ladder and get into a tree should have no trouble lowering themselves down and hopping out of the tree. It’s maybe 8 feet above ground, maximum. Hell, I always see Brad as being a stubby little goblin so maybe something two feet above his head is only 6 feet high. But once you climb down and hang from one of the lower branches of the tree, you’d only have to drop, what, 2 or 3 feet to the ground? At an absolute maximum? Goddammit, this is why I hate LuAnn so very very much. It’s just plain poorly thought out. Which is a shame, because the art is actually pretty good.

When it was revealed that Brad would become a firefighter, I thought maybe, finally, the strip might show a hint of drama and excitement, something other than bland characters agonizing over which beautiful person to date. But no, it’s just taken the one character that has ever been remotely funny and reduced him to being yet another bland character agonizing over his dating prospects.

I think if any strip would be improved by a cancer storyline, it’s LuAnn. Y’know, where every character gets sudden severe brain cancer and falls over dead in a week. That’d be nice. Not the strip would have to end, just completely replace the cast with some characters that are actually interesting. That might require hiring a new writer though. Who does a strip that has really crappy art but at least reasonably good stories and characters? Is the Sally Forth guy busy these days?
Mibbitmaker
July 21st, 2007 at 1:11 am [Reply]

It’s back to the Abu Graib-like hell of Batty-ick’s Summer Of Near Miss ‘07… 13 very unlucky years from the last! Even Thorax the space-atheist has to believe in Satan; Batty-shit is proof! You’re a sadist, Batty! A vile, despicable, cruel, rotten, everything-Boris-Karloff-sang-about-the-Grinch-being, arrogant, inhuman, awful, diabolical, nefarious, pernicious, execrable, malicious, pea-brained, pee-brained, malevolent, malignant, adjective-too-extreme-to-be-in-the-English-language, furshlugginer, Nixonian, ferret-faced, puddin’-headed SADIST!!!

Spare us the ironic horror of the cruelty you insist on perpetrating, Batty. It was bad enough to endure the Rube Goldberg From Hell maze puzzle that burned the Long, Hot Summer of 1994. And the other 13 years of the nightmare we all endured since then were no picnic, either, but this is like a post-traumatic flashback to my least favorite stretch (except, you know, about a measly little comic strip. I have some perspective).

You’ve given yourself 3 months, Batty. Enough time to get those characters where you damn well know we want them (and KNOW it!) .

DO! IT!
(pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!)
/rant
Dub Not Dubya
July 21st, 2007 at 1:43 am [Reply]

Spider-Brick, congratulations on the new job!

Karen Moy, please listen to Rich.

Yesterthread 170, June Morgan’s Larger Breast: I’m a Rhode Islander who wouldn’t mind a meet-up. Any others out there? Perhaps we should follow local tradition and actually hold the event somewhere in Massachusetts. ;)
jnik
July 21st, 2007 at 1:45 am [Reply]

Funky Cancerdeath:
He finds the card and learns his burth mother has died, then sees the postage date. “IT’S ALL THE FAULT OF THAT WHORE I BANGED THE NIGHT THE LETTER ARRIVED! Murder-suicide. Smirking ensues.
Alex Johnson
July 21st, 2007 at 1:49 am [Reply]

sooo, 6 flags’ picture template says “45 years of fun” but, according to the banner in the background, they’ve only had thrills for the last 40 years or so. It leads one to think there might have been 5 years or so where there really was only 6 actual flags. That’s…depressing?
Mibbitmaker
July 21st, 2007 at 1:54 am [Reply]

‘Sthataday?:

9CL: Hey, ThorAxe, stop willfully mixing up all the honest, decent believers with the extremist terrorist/blue nose perverters of the religions, okay? I don’t lump all non-believers up with the likes of you!

A3G: Make that “Al” and you’ve got yourself a song.

Cleats: Is that guy Chris Rock’s father (on TV)?

H&J: That joke is as old as Laurel & Hardy.

MT: That squirrel is stunned by Sam’s stilted monologue.

RMMD: *Sigh!* Easy come, easy go….

MW: She was a teenager in FW?
Brown-eyed Girl
July 21st, 2007 at 1:55 am [Reply]

Spider-brick — congratulations on the new job.
rich
July 21st, 2007 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Dawn’s unfortunate adolescence…She had a sex change, then had it reversed?
Skulking on the Outskirts
July 21st, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

‘And it came to pass, that the Skulker on the Outskirts heard the words of Jamus, who did tend the bar, and she said unto Jamus “Lo, I have heard thy scripture, and I do roll to and fro on the floor with merriment. Verily, I say unto thee, Jamus, tender of the bar, speak more on these matters, for I am in sore need of a good giggle. Even do I perish from laughter as thou posteth The Word. Say more, I bid thee, on the great journey of all the assembled ‘Mudges, and bring me along that I may getteth the hell away from my boring job for a time. Also I would meet with CHENNUX, the Galactic Emperor of renown, and the Pope who is called Noodlefoot, and Trotzenbonnie, and Poteet, and the awesome Dingo. And many diverse others who art too great in number to be counted, yea, even lurkers who dart in to post their offerings of snark and dart back out again, never to be seen anon. And should it come to pass that the great ship of the Curmudgeons, the ‘Tarzana Nights’, should pass over my dwelling place in the southeastern corner of Mundanity called Vermont, I pray thee, stop and gather me into the multitude, for I shall surely bring great quantities of genuine Vermont maple syrup for an offering.’

Hear endeth the prayer of the Skulker on the Outskirts.
Skulking on the Outskirts
July 21st, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

‘Crap, verily, that should have been “here endeth…” not “hear endeth” spake the Skulker.’
Jack Parsons
July 21st, 2007 at 2:38 am [Reply]

3: Hugo! Hugo was one of the stars of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert!

As was Guy Pearce! Of Momento and a lot of other fine flicks: “Ravenous” is a secret pearl.
Joe Btfsplk
July 21st, 2007 at 3:17 am [Reply]

#55 Spider-Brick – Nicely done, with the anagram . The best that I can come up with at 3 A.M…

Too near! The yang of Sting covers the miles.

That probably requires some backstory, like, he’s in town on tour or something. The sad thing is, the original caption makes no more sense than mine does, unless we assume that the kids have never seen either a scoreboard or a road sign in their lives before, or that, as Mr. Bogart speculates above, the picture has been showing nothing but that unmoving image since they turned it on, and they’ve had no leading shots to show them what kind of sign it is. This strip consistently annoys the !@#$ out of me. The kids don’t talk, behave or interact like real kids. The situations that they are placed in are artificial, contrived and unrealistic. We see nothing in it that mirrors real life in the way that it needs to in order to be humorous. I can’t imagine what TV program would be showing something like that in the first place, and no child watching it would say what Billy is saying in response to it. FC may have been a relevant slice-of-life strip at one time, but it must have been long ago. All I see now is an oddly-drawn, awkwardly-dialogued panel that is just never funny any more. But I do get some enjoyment out of playing word-games with the captions.
The Avocado Avenger
July 21st, 2007 at 4:20 am [Reply]

FW: What a shiny outlook on life, even in the B plot. Lisa’s dying, and it’s not bad enough that she now looks like a half-withered Crankshaft. Her real son Darin isn’t going to get her letter because his creepy girlfriend-slash-twin-sister fucked the idea right outta his head. He’s too busy smirking with the sexual satisfaction that comes with 27 seconds of teenaged fumbling to check on letters anymore.

It’ll be great when he finally gets the letter just days after Lisa’s funeral. We’ll celebrate, have some pie and punch, and listen to Batiuk gloat that Darin’s guilt will give him at least 3 solid weeks of comedy gold.
Little A.
July 21st, 2007 at 6:32 am [Reply]

GT: Oh ho, he’s going to train a one-legged boxer. Should make for some spectacular bouts, if his opponent is blind or has one arm.
Sili
July 21st, 2007 at 7:03 am [Reply]

Yes, this is blatant pimping, but I know Ryan Smith will never stoop this low himself and – dammit – I want to see him get that same spike Shortpacked was hit with.

So I’m gonna keep linking Funny Farm until somebody pays attention (or Smith stops his mocking).

I actually had to wikipeek the punchline to today’s instalment, but then I laughed. Those who’ve actually followed and loved Foob before it turned, should find it a fitting tribute I’d think.

Now, give FF a nod, dammit, or I’ll have to tap my foot disapprovingly and pout!
Jamus The Bartender
July 21st, 2007 at 7:03 am [Reply]

Yea, verily, Skulker, it shall be so. Many are called, and many are chosen, for it is a big ship with a lot of drinks and our Emperor’s ship has many mansions. Each one with a fireproof floor, as Bob Dylan used to say.
Tracer Bullet
July 21st, 2007 at 7:08 am [Reply]

A3G: Aw yeah. Just because your roommate might have brain damage (well, moreso than usual) is no reason why we can’t get it on, Tommie. The name is Joe. Remember it now; you’ll be screaming it later.

Doonesbury: After two weeks of therapy, I’m rethinking my support for this particular troop.

FW: This strip needs Frankie. “Knife to the eye, Batiuk.”

(DT)GT: I’d rather have a coach with instincts instead of ability, but as the only future Hopalong Cassidy here has in boxing is as a punching bag, I guess it doesn’t matter.

MW: It means she earned the money for med school by working as a truck stop hooker. Her use of innuendo is so terrible because it’s hard to have clever conversation with a mouthful of trucker.

RMMD: Plant? I thought men like Hugh were called a fruit.
Dennis Jimenez
July 21st, 2007 at 7:13 am [Reply]

Pitch a tent – pound a nail – back in the saddle again – praying for the naughy – OMG – it’s all more than I can take today.
True Fable
July 21st, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

A3G With Luann on the slow mend, the nebbishly generic men of New York City now turn to Tommie as their Adorable Girl. Welcome to Fantasy Island, Tattoo.
DtM Dennis is doing some pre-emptive prayers for Joey and himself before they go to bed. *shudder* Undeniably straightforward Saturday.
FC Dumbest kids in the world watch the most boring DVD in the history of Ever.
FBoFW As soon as Developmentally Challenged Robin empties his bowels in his pants again, Michael will pick him up and drop him back into Dee Dee’s care again to “take care of this mess.”
FW — of course.
JP Sam doesn’t need eyehooks to find discrepancies. Wait, different Sam, wrong comic! And is Trudi in panel three a warning of what Sophie will look like in ten years?
Luann Well, at least Brad is appreciative in today’s session of Brad Gets A Life.
MT And if Mark DOESN’T get there in time, you silly twit, it’s all on your impatient little head.
MW Who TALKS like Dawn? Did she take Stilted Dialog lessons from Vera Shields? I mean besides the “unfortunate adolescence”, who really says, “I long to get back in the saddle again?” (well, besides girls who like the reverse cowboy position?) Why doesn’t she say something like, “I’d like to get back in the saddle again” or even, “Let’s go back to my place and fuck”? Or the ever-popular, often-used “How ’bout if I slide under the table and give you a hummer”? Maybe that will all happen Sunday.
RMMD June would have liked to get Heather back into bed so she could crawl in and join her, but since Heather is so bound and determined to leave, June will just join Hugh. Grudge fucks are her specialty, since she has a grudge with damn near everyone.
TurtleBoy
July 21st, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

FC: “I’ve been stuck in front of this damned thing for so long my rib cage has started to fuse with the carpet. Too bad the only channels we get are the Geico Network and Highway Signs of America.”

Foob: I tried to put together a few sentences to help myself put a finger on just why today’s strip makes me loathe the Patterson clan even more than I did already, but nothing came out but profanity. I’ll settle for silent seething, knowing that y’all have probably got my back on this one.

MW: Get over it, Dawn! Your adolesence was, like, thirty years ago! Besides, “unfortunate adolesence” has gotta be the most transparent euphemism ever. I think Dawn’d have more luck gettin’ “back in the saddle” if she took off that Lego™ hair and stopped wearing fuck-me red lipstick with fuchsia blouses.
Calico
July 21st, 2007 at 7:46 am [Reply]

MW – cue Aerosmith!

#70 – Punch and Pie!
Who’s gonna sing and try to free our minds from the shackles of this miserable plotline?

BB – gets gayer by the panel. DtM is pretty much going the same way. This is not a bad thing.

JP – nice posin’ there, Trudi. Time to jump on the desk and bare it all for Sam. “Screw the reports – and me too!”
$10,000 check – escort service for greasy Ponytail man?
Calico
July 21st, 2007 at 7:51 am [Reply]

FOOB – Panel four – this is the time to drop another of your patented Shitb0mb5, Wobin. Don’t deny Daddy-kins the full experience, too.

3G – wait ’til Gary with the shiny new quarter sees Tommie on the street with his doctor brother, who apparently sees signing medical release forms as the perfect opportunity to try and get laid.
Joseph J. Finn
July 21st, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

Yeah, it’s a sign of hwo I’ve been reading this site too much that Elsanto’s video started up and I was waiting with baited breath to see when the punch through the head would show up. Right at the climax, where it deserved to be. Well played, sir/madame. Well played.
Little A.
July 21st, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

General comments which will be more specific later or in a few days. At the suggestion of one of the bloggers (thank you, you know who you are) I bookmarked the Houston Chronicle comics page to look at all the cartoons they carry, because many of the strips that are referred to and snarked here, I am not familiar with at all unless Josh reprints a strip or somebody links to one.

Except for several or a very few (and we know which ones they are) what a sad lot. What lousy humor, poor drawing, stupid lame jokes, mindlessness. Mostly terrible stuff.

That’s my initial impression. No surprises actually. The snarkers know what they are snarking about for sure.

As I said I have to read a lot of these strips for a while before I can really make up my mind but it doesn’t look like it will be a long while.
Mack
July 21st, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

7/21 FW – I’m intrigued to discover that, apparently, sex cures obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Ned Ryerson
July 21st, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

JP: Trudi is presenting like a mandrill. C’mon Sam, these books are crying out for a good auditing!
Ned Ryerson
July 21st, 2007 at 8:43 am [Reply]

My feelings about Foob can be sumarized as follows: “Mmm Mmm. Mmmmm Mmmmm. Mmmmmmmmm!”
AAckTTpth
July 21st, 2007 at 8:44 am [Reply]

BTW, anyone familiar with the comic PHD (Piled Higher and Deeper)?

http://www.phdcomics.com/
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 21st, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Sili @ 72: I’ve been checking out the strips you’re linking, Sili. I just don’t find the strip all that funny, even if they are making fun of someone who royally deserves it.
Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
July 21st, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! ESPECIALLY THE ONES CRAWLING AROUND THE ‘TARZANA NIGHTS!” DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!

GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR, THE ONE CALLED JAMUS! NO, DON’T TOUCH THAT BUTTON! MELKARDAMMIT! GREAT, YOU JUST JETTISONED THE DANCING SYRUP! AND THE ONES CALLED SKULKING, TROTZ, POTEET AND ILSAMORADA GIRL! THAT’S THE EMPEROR’S PRIVATE STASH OF ARDBEG! GO DRINK THE CHEAP STUFF IF YOUR GOING TO PUT ICE IN IT!

THE ONE CALLED gh! PUT THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER BRICK DOWN BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING! MELKARDAMMIT! NOW YOU’VE GOT GRANNIX PHLEGM ALL OVER APPLEGIRL’S SHOES!

THAT’S IT! EITHER THIS MESS GETS CLEANED UP OR I’LL DROP YOU ALL INTO FUNKY WINKERBEAN AND YOU’LL ALL TURN INTO TUMORS! CHENNUX MEANS IT!

EARTHERS!!!

END TRANSMISSION!
Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
July 21st, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

…AND WHILE CHENNUX IS ON THE SUBJECT, WHO IN GZOBSPLOOK TOOK THAT PICTURE OF CHENNUX EATING VIETNAMESE? MELKARDAMMIT, CAN’T A GALACTIC EMPEROR HAVE A BUN SAIGON (MADE WITH REAL SAIGONESE BUNS!) WITHOUT THE PAPPARAZZI STARING AT HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW? THAT’S THE SORT OF INVASION OF PRIVACY THAT MAKES MY MAGMACANNON FINGER ITCHY! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
Dean Booth
July 21st, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

A3G, MW: The business card count is catching up to the squid count.

Archie: Shockingly not terrible.

FC: There is a place on the graph where the Cute line crosses the Stupid line, and based on Billy’s position on the age axis, he’s an idiot.

BB: “There’s no need to impress a guy in polka-dot underwear.” — Old Jungle Saying (Stripes are a different matter.)

Boffo: The “Supercalifrag…cious” count is catching up to the squid count.

DtM: Sexual guilt, perhaps?

DT: The Gretcherian Candidate

FW: You may be a loser!

GT: I hope they’re talking about kick boxing!

JP: What was the name of that lady in Paris? Trudi has made me forget.

MT: More evidence that the characters in MT are unable to think except out loud.

MW: I’m hoping Dawn’s unfortunate adolescence experiences also involved horses.

Pluggers: Sarge is BB wears plugger sleep attire.

My life: I saw Crankshaft at a four-way stop yesterday, red cap, glasses, and all.
John C Fremont
July 21st, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

ElSanto – Great video! Keep them coming!

Jamus and Skulking – Y’all crack me up!

# 77 – TurtleBoy, we do indeed have your back regarding those wretched Pattersons.

RMMD – To borrow from either Beavis or Butthead, Heather has a tendency to wear too many clothes.

JP – Duuhh, Trudi hot! Me like! (Say, I wonder what’s going on in Paris. And why isn’t Trudi over there? Trudi? Abbey? Neddy? Think about it, won’t you? Thank you.)
bats :[
July 21st, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

I guess since Crapmeister Robin (sounds like a hip-hop name, doesn’t it?) is all cleaned up, it’s all’s well that ends well:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/?saved=1
John C Fremont
July 21st, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Shouldn’t that be “Cwapmeister Wobin?”
Professor Fate
July 21st, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

FOOB: Mike would it kill you to look at least at a little happy that your kids like you and want to be with you? These are you children you self absorbed nitwit not a trial to be endured.
Dean Booth
July 21st, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Sarge is a plugger. The similarity is pretty amazing.
odinthor
July 21st, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

MW — While Dawn is engaging in horse fantasies . . . or is it leather fantasies . . . or is it sex fantasies . . . whatever it is, Drew seems to accept her being “in the saddle again” with sophisticated equanimity . . . er, where was I? Oh, yeah–while that’s going on, we should not fail to notice the guest appearance of Martha Stewart, as she hides behind a menu in panel one. Or (gasp!) is it . . . is it . . . Princess Di?

A3-G — (Sniffle) To think (wipes away small happy tear), our own little Luann, maybe the wife of a docta (sniffle). They could settle down in a cozy home with walls the color of urine, to remind them of where they first got to know each other, and have a beautiful family of kids with hair in varying shades of auburn.

BB — Is this a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” joke?–or, um, “Ask, and Lie” joke?

FBoFW — Well, Michael, that’s very true. But before we get too dewy-eyed about the sentiment you’re expressing, let me tell you about all the things a person could pick up and hold, not all of them very choice, to my way of thinking: [Unsavory but well-nigh complete list of things one could pick up and hold deleted.]. And that’s just for starters. Now out to the gorilla cage at the zoo, where . . . oh, we’re having some transmission problems? OK, maybe later. Now, on to Sports…

Gil Thorp — “Around here, that still makes you an expert, coach.” Nomination for equivocal compliment of the week award. “How’d you like to train me?” Must resist reading sexual innuendo into this . . . must . . . resist . . . must . . .

MT — Miss Hill and the chaparral have a nice chat while a bemused squirrel looks on, perhaps thinking, “There’s a nut here somewhere.”

JP — Is Phantom’s make-up artist standing in for the regular guy at JP?
mere cog in the machine
July 21st, 2007 at 10:09 am [Reply]

H&J: Am I the only one who had disturbing visions of these two wrassling around in a tent after reading today’s strip? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
alamo
July 21st, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

fc — anagram of:
“family circus” = “this shit sucks!”
alamo
July 21st, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

more fc —
pittsburgh 2
family circus 0
alamo
July 21st, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

93 — foobville – this whole damn strip is a trial to be endured; i don’t know why these urchins should get off so easily.

i guess it really isn’t really their fault they got programmed into life in foobville. damn storks got lost flying over wisconsin!!
alamo
July 21st, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

hey …. where is everybody??? everyone reading harry pottersville?

oh my god the rapture!!!! tim lahaye was right…….

a-a-a-aa-u-u-u-u-u-g-g-g-g-g–h-h-h-h-h!
alamo
July 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

ok josh and it just you and me baby!!!
Big Sims
July 21st, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

I think the reality provided the Gil Thorp Matrix is the result of the fusion of an Apple IIE and a Mattel pocket football game. At least that’s what the “artwork” would have me believe.

In other news I’m disgusted with Mary Worth. Just disgusted. SHE’S THROWING IT AT YOU! And you want to dredge up the teen years!?!? Loser.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 21st, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

They call Kaycee “the rock’n'roll Gail Martin, only a brunette.”

7/21

DtM: Dennis. Joey. Single bed. Guilt. I think I’ve said enough.

Momma: Awww, a glimpse of Poppa in Heaven. That’s so… forgettable.

FC: The kids just can’t get enough of that Street Sign Channel. What did we do before digital cable?

Crock: Haha, the nursing home has violent felons as guards. Precious! Keep the laughs comin’.

Phantom: Those Islanders look pretty cheerful when you consider that Strepeybutt just put them in automatic weapons crossfire.

Marvin: Now if they would only drop that videodic player a little to the right.

S-M: Looks like Peter and MJ are living near a Crips retirement home. Watch out for the Bloods’ wheel-by’s.
Little A.
July 21st, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

I’ve thought about what I said up there someplace and decided sensibly that there is no need to tell you all what you already very well know, which strips stink etc. But now I will be able to see for myself every day, what strips really are terrible and not just take your words for it.

Thank goodness there are a large handful of really good and great strips!

Ah Sluggo you don’t have to roll over in your unmarked grave. That modern imitator ain’t you, he’s a fake t’roo an’ t’roo. That ain’t Aunt Fritzi, that’s some dame that Hugh Hefner rejected for Playmate o’ da mont’ aroun’ 1992. Too old for da job. Too much junk in da trunk and not blonde.

As I said a short while ago, GT may be one of the funniest strips “running” (actually stumbling, lurching) today, because of its ridiculous plots and awful artwork.
I will quote Holden Caulfield once more: IT’S SO PUTRID I CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT.
Jamus The Bartender
July 21st, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

87. After accidentally releasing the dancing syrup, i’ve decided to keep a low profile on the Tarzana Nights and spend some time reading Harry Potter Seven. This is good stuff. Talk to you later.
Little A.
July 21st, 2007 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Is a large handful?
stinky pete
July 21st, 2007 at 11:47 am [Reply]

The Wall Street Journal’s Salt and Pepper cartoon is rarely worth a glance, but today’s made me laugh.

In the Bleachers and Speed Bump continue to consistently amuse.
Big Sims
July 21st, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Wow, I guess everyone is away reading Harry Potter. That’s cool; it’s my plan this evening. I’m stuck at work now… ho hum.
mere cog in the machine
July 21st, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

I’ve just finished the last Harry Potter book. Not to be a spoilsport, but Gandalf dies on page 583, and a red fern later grows over his grave. Sob….
michael farris
July 21st, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

I’ve only read the first Harry Potter book (and not in English) so I’ll point out two incredibly disturbing points from today:

FOOB: Didn’t M didn’t start that way? He just picked them up and held them … until it was all over and the voices let him alone for a few hours.

FW: Meanwhile in the Freudian land of Cancery Cancerdeath, Darrin has rejected the cold, metal, box that his mother represents in favor of the soft, warm …. (I really shouldn’t go on now, should I?)
mere cog in the machine
July 21st, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

110: Beef Curtains?
MossMoses
July 21st, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

The plot sickens. Dawn Weston’s unfortunate adolescence refers to that horsegag.avi internet video and other “horsing around” youthful indiscretions she unfortunately participated in when she was a teenager.

Doctor Drew will need to don the My Little Pony costume to really please her when she’s back in the saddle again – out where an injun’s her friend, where the vegetables are green and she can pee right into the stream, yes Dawn’s back in the saddle again.
Bobdog
July 21st, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

FC – What are these kids watching? A travelogue show about going to Pittsburg in which they actually show the drive to Pittsburg and the mileage sign en route? This is a long way to go for that joke.
Bobdog
July 21st, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

MW – Dawn is advertising she has emotional baggage. Classy move on a first date.
commodorejohn
July 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

A3G – “I don’t know. Is that your name?”

Archie – Veronica always kinda reminds me of Lum when she’s in a bikini. I ain’t complainin’.

DT – It’s okay. It’s not like he’ll remember the programming anyway. Besides, it probably consisted of “YOU NEED YOUR GRETCHEN.”

FOOB – More information about computers can be found on the Internet. You know, I didn’t think the future of FOOB could be worse than indulgent authorial self-masturbatory excursions into already published work, but I never counted on it being neo-Luddite as well.

FW – Gee, we only saw this coming like SIX MONTHS AGO. I do like the self-satisfied grin on his face. “Yeah, screw you, post office! You stupid bastard governmental institution!”

GA – Words fail. Again. (And by the way, it’s not actually a sin to worry. Although Christ did advise against it.)

JP – You know, for having been on this storyline for a couple months now, it would be nice if we were to learn what the hell is going on. I mean, c’mon, Mark Trail would be handing out Fists O’ Justice by now, can’t we at least find out what the Evil Scheme is?

MW – “I want to ‘ride horses!’ I long to ‘get back in the saddle!’ If you know what I mean…”

Pluggers – Who exactly does?

SM – Oh, the irony. The irony.

Edison Lee – is being at least vaguely entertaining and original today.
AhClem
July 21st, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

MW – Perhaps Dawn’s reference to “unfortunate adolescence” means she longs to be 10 again. If you combine that with the sexual innuendo of “back in the saddle,” it means she wants … no, I’m sorry, it’s too disgusting to contemplate further.

JP – “Trudy, this check stub shows that $10,000 was made payable to “Dastardly Deeds, Inc.” What does that mean?

GA – Holy shit, what happened to Slim in panel 1? He looks like someone hit him in the face with a bag of nickels.

FC – Next up on today’s kids TV festival: “Pavement Striping Around the world!”

Edison Lee – For a kid who’s always ranting about environmental issues and energy consumption, sitting in front of an open refrigerator with a fan seems somewhat contradictory.

FW – Along with all the other misery that passes for “humor” in this strip, now someone has stolen all the doors and locks from the front of the PO boxes.
rich
July 21st, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Heart o’ the City: Heart’s mother is a cute character, but please — no more extreme close-ups of her freakishly deformed hands!

Rose is Rose: Jimbo…dude…lose the “mom jeans”.
Bobbie Sterne Built My Hot Rod
July 21st, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

FW — As someone who deals regularly with the Ohio Department of Health, I must note that Batiuk has accurately rendered their actual logo in something like 1/100th scale in today’s strip. That almost makes up for the soul-crushing nature of this storyline in my book. Almost.
NaughtyNatureLover
July 21st, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

DtM, uncut
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
July 21st, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Spider-Brick and Jamus (37 & 38),

They live in New Bruinswick, Zoo Jersey.

If you get their don’t tell them about the strip. (a) It might inhibit them, and (b) they may want royalties.

Good luck (sorta).

-Ed
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 21st, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Regarding anagrams and the Family Circus:

The best I can do for today’s caption is:

My vice: Teeth on thong, I fart. Sore lass gone.

However, I also came up with the following, which I think is better.

Bil Keane’s admired creation “Family Circus”

is an anagram of

Sucks erection! Incredibly lame, I am afraid.
Mibbitmaker
July 21st, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

FC: Jeez, Keanes, wouldn’t it have made more sense to show the little simpletons looking out the car window on a ride? That’d work perfectly (for that lame joke). Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…

FOOB: I guess I’m a “neo-Luddite”, because I don’t want computers (or iThis or iThat) taking over everything. It’s fine as an option, but not the only way to have books, magazines, comics, TV, radio, movies, photo albums and scrapbooks. So I liked the final message (but not so much the cornball ‘punchline’ ) of the strip. Wisdom from a late-adolescent 5-year old.

Cranky: If I’d have to have a baseball game I was watching blocked, I’d actually prefer it happen if it’s like panel 2.
Mibbitmaker
July 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

#120: My Cage is to animals, as The Flintstones is to various rocks and stone-age stuff. (Renaming, that is)

….My parenthetic asides are to Foghorn Leghorn, as…
Sili
July 21st, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

The Spectacular Spider-Brick @ 86

Thanks. Can’t argue taste. With a few possible exceptions, of course.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 21st, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Ed Power @ 120: Thanks for the answer. If you didn’t have one, I was about to suggest Buffalo. Or San Bernardino (it’s Spanish for St. Bernard, ya know). Maybe that’s where Bridget’s parents live.
John C Fremont
July 21st, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

# 115 commodore – Veronica as Lum. Not as in Lum and Abner, I hope. That would scare me.

# 116 AhClem – $10,000 to Dastardly Deeds, Inc.? She should have called Dirty Deeds, which are done dirt cheap.

Do you really think people are off reading Harry Potter instead of being here? I refuse to believe they would prefer to be reading alone.
LTBF
July 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Dad, I guess we don’t need books anymore either. I’ll just go to this website and download this book for free and rip off the author from his royalties. So much easier to click a few keys.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Dingo: Be not discouraged in your job hunt. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard this, but the rule of thumb is, it takes one month’s worth of searching for every $10,000 of salary you hope to make. I heard that rule back in the ’80s, when money was worth more, but the job market is tighter now what with outsourcing and all, so it probably still balances out about the same. I’ve been looking for work since March, after all.
The Divine O’F
July 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Credit Where Credit is Due, early afternoon after incredibly frustrating morning and still no rain edition

Jamus: Margoing brilliant. You single-handedly cheered me up, a feat I did not think was possible any time this weekend. Or millennium. I love that the ship is called “Tarzana Nights.” And I appreciate the correction in Ch. 2, though I have BEEN to New Orleans.

El Santo: I think that’s a great video, but I never saw any of the Matrices. It definitely makes more sense than any DTGT story line I have read.

Trotz: Happy birthday to your hubby! Have a great celebration!

Rich: I second your grovel to Karen Moy. I too am sure she visits us. Karen, please, by all that is holy, save us!

How come everybody but me goes on vacation?
Weasel Boy
July 21st, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Here’s an anagram of the road sign in FC:

2 tight burps
commodorejohn
July 21st, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

#122 Mibbitmaker – Yeah, I’m not suggesting we go the Bill Gates Future route of everything on one little tablet PC, I just hate FOOB, particularily when it’s being preachy.

#126 John C Fremont – Goodness no. I mean Lum of Urusei Yatsura, which has to be at least somewhat Archie-inspired. (I mean, Mendo looks exactly like Reggie, for crap’s sake!)
True Fable
July 21st, 2007 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

What’s a vacation?

j/k. I went on one once. I came back.

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