The Comics CurmudgeonBaby steps to mental health

Main content:

Baby steps to mental health

Funky Winkerbean, 4/17/12

So this perky underclassman nerd is attempting to woo jock senior Summer by means of anonymous text messages, which sounds like something that most girls would find spectacularly creepy and would probably earn him a punch in the face, but in the Funkyverse there’s a 50-50 chance this will result in true love. It did make me wonder (a) if anonymous text messages are even something you can send from your phone, (b) if so how a reply could get back to you, and (c) assuming such things exist, if anyone really calls them “restricted texts” as our amorous dweeb has been doing. Then I realized that I had just a little too much self respect to put the energy into researching the answers to these questions, so I didn’t! Aren’t you proud of me?

Mark Trail, 4/17/12

By “updating an aerial survey of his area,” Doc of course means “masturbating.” He knows that Mark will go in search of Tom, and hopes that, in stumbling upon him in the act of onanism, Mark will finally be forced to confront the reality of human sexuality. Decades of marriage to Doc’s daughter hasn’t done the trick, so this may be his last chance.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/17/12

So far, this plot’s central mystery has revolved around the dead Foster’s true character. Was he a lovable old rogue who perhaps drank a bit more than he should? Or was he a hateful alcoholic dick? The fact that he left for his daughter a book (one that everyone keeps emphasizing “reads like a screenplay”) that’s full of traumatizingly hot sex scenes involving her mother seems to tip things towards the latter possibility.

Spider-Man, 4/17/12

The last bit of dramatic tension in this storyline has been resolved without any help whatsoever from our ostensible protagonist, so now he can finally celebrate Spidey-style! Spidey-style celebration apparently consists of a little jig that’s frankly embarrassing to watch, because dancing is one of the many, many things Spider-Man sucks at.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 08:27 am and is filed under Funky Winkerbean, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D., Spider-Man. |

254 responses to “Baby steps to mental health”

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#y242): After (mis)reading Jeffy’s line as “foreign up”, I started to feel sorry for the kid. His Mexican “matricula consular” photo ID card is no longer being accepted in Arizona, so it’s back to Ecatepec City for Jeffy and his parents/siblings.

(Cosa… avete mai sentito parlare di un rosso-headed messicano?)
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

RMMD: That third panel art style seems a little different than the first two panels. I like it, but mostly because I imagine that outside the frame, our sexxxy cowgirl is recounting the dirty parts of the book in her head and, with back turned towards June, she is fondling her own breasts under her robe. Well, that’s what the artwork suggests to me, anyway.
nescio
April 17th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

SM: Whatever Spiderman is doing, it seems to please the gods of Asgard. “We behold the clenching of your thighs with great delight, mortal!”
Mumblix Grumph
April 17th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

RMMD:
GAH! June is turning into Andre The Giant in panel one!

The things that girl has to do to get finally Rex in the sack!
S. Stout
April 17th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Ooh web weaver
I believe you did nothing like you always do
Ooh web weaver
Please stop dancing and pretending to be a hero
Chareth Cutestory
April 17th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean: No, you dumb kid, I know you’re being sarcastic towards your friend but Brad and Angelina didn’t hook up through text messaging!! She is a snake woman who hypnotized him on the set of a movie, away from Jennifer Aniston!!! GAAAHHHH!!!
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

RMMD-I agree with Iris. No one should read about their parents having sex.

MT-Ever since his days as a POW in the war Ranger Tom Martin had a little cell built so he could relive the experience.

FW-There is a fine line between loser and stalker and Cody is about ready to cross it over into stalker.
Little Blue Bicycle
April 17th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

RMMD: “It’s painful to read…especially the explicit parts about Mom! You know, giving that guy “the guitar.”
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

Like Spidey, June Morgan once said “I love a happy ending!” I think it was at the end of the one-eye-Jack saga in 2006. I might not have the right episode, but I know she said it at the boring, anti-climactic conclusion to a Rex tale. Spidey must read and study the comics like he does the news.
Pozzo
April 17th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

“All is well in the Realm Eternal. Great, now I can go watch the Television Primetime! Maybe even have a Soft Drink Cold.”
Dennis Jimenez
April 17th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

FW – This is just how Hitler and Mousolini hooked up – ‘septin’ they used carrier pidgeons and a decoder ring….

MT – Using Google Earth, you web-savvy outdoorsman, you….

RMMD – Ah, what to snark on – the odd cleavage in panel one? The odd coffee maker in panel two? The odd dialogue in panel three? Wait a minute – did I say there’s cleavage!!!

S-M – I’m hearing Shroder’s piano riff, as Spidey does the Snoopy Doggie dance of joy….

Adios Amigos, DJ.
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Thor: We gods did not come to Earth, we brought your Earth to us! It seemed like a good idea at the time, mortal. However, now that it is done, perchance it was too much effort just to tell you so very little.
Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Dancing? I thought he was throwing dice and hoping for snake eyes. (Okay, so Spidey sucks at throwing dice, too!)
Jocelyn Knockersbury
April 17th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

I don’t read Funky Winkerbean because… well, let’s just say my dislike for Batiuk is well documented. But I do read the strips here and lately I’m struck at how poor the dialogue has been lately. Perhaps I’ve been away from FW so long I’ve simply forgotten it was this terrible.

My main gripe is that our little Freshman geekling looks exactly like Summer. It’s too much to hope for an accidental incest plot involving Les fathering said geekling after cheating on his CancerWife during her CancerDoom.
pugfuggly
April 17th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

FW I maintain that the word ‘restricted’ in this strip is used in the sense of ‘dirty’. And not just ‘dirty’, in fact, but ‘filthy, perverted and depraved’.
Squeak
April 17th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Pile of marijuana on the counter, Bob Marley poster on the wall (tilted at a far-out angle)… keep those aerial surveys coming, man!
Elmo
April 17th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

MT. Having recently learned that marijuana is being grown on government land, and that presumably includes Lost Forest, then Doc is some sort of CIA mole or maybe just a squatter. The other possibility which comes out of that is maybe Doc and Cherry are experimental androids with no sexual capabilities included.
pugfuggly
April 17th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

A3G Wow, just look at Scott work his seduction magic!

“She died so young and so tragically. I suppose I should tell you the whole story, it’s just that it makes me so sad, and angry, and sexily complicated….”
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

FW: Jennifer Aniston had no idea why, but she suddenly, out of the blue, felt no jealousy or hurt whatsoever. “Thanks, mysterious feeling from out of nowhere… I guess.”

MT: “Wait, hon’… what in tarnation is a ‘cell’?!…”

RMMD: Congratulations, cowgirl, you are now officially a Bluth. Given your… drinking problem, your new name could be “Lucille 3″.

S-M: To Spidey, “You err, web-weaver.” is the story of his life.
McManx
April 17th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Spiderman — Given the way Spidey is jacking his hands back and forth, I think he means he is looking forward to a “happy ending” at his favorite massage parlor.

Mary Worth — ” ‘You were shaken awake…,’ which is what you will have to do to me if you don’t get to the point where you praise me for my advice.”

Mark Trail — Mark looks awfully gleeful at the prospect of going to look for Ranger Tom. Perhaps this is “Brokeback Lost Forest.”
Bill Peschel
April 17th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Stan Lee is playing the long game with the Amazing Spider-Dork. He’s waiting for the moment when movie-goers realize, at the premiere of “Iron Man Meets Ghost Rider,” that superheros are actually pretty silly. Then he’ll strike with “Spider-Man!” the “Airplane!” spoof. Just don’t anyone tell him Leslie Nielsen’s dead.
sporknpork
April 17th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Funky-fail. I can’t feel horrible about humanity if the strip makes no god damn sense.
Will
April 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

What the hell happened between the first and second panels of Mark Trail. During what is ostensibly a human conversation, Kelly responds to Doc only after she stops pouring Mark’s coffee, moves around the table, sits down, and picks up her cup. How long an awkward pause was that. I can only assume that when Doc said that “Tom” “forgot,” his dementia finally has caused him to forget his own name, and that Mark and Kelly are playing a cruel game on the old man, attempting to see if his confusion extends to remembering how conversations are held. They should remember that Alzheimer’s has a strong genetic component before they lord it over the crazy old coot.
Marc
April 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Mark Trail- Cherry seems awfully well connected to Ranger Tom Martin…. Although, I do have to wonder how they have cell service out in the middle of the forest in the middle of nowhere.

A3G- Oh come on, another trip down memory lane? I’m starting to suspect that they’re never going to get to the adultery.

Luann- That really must be the spawn of satan if she’s giving off her death sneer at a lady she just met. Oh but I forgot, that lady is trying to run a business successfully so she can keep her job and therefore is the worst person on earth because she asks that her employees actually, you know, work while on the job.

Funky- Hey Batiuk, I looked it up, and guess what? YOU CANNOT SEND A RESTRICTED TEXT MESSAGE FROM A CELL PHONE! Goddam it, can you write anything based in reality?

9CL- Unless you’re going out to shop for a fucking pregnancy test, I don’t care.

Curtis- Last time we did this story arc, Cousin Andrew ended up in jail and is apparently serving an indefinite term.

Family Circus- I thought it had been pretty well established that Jeffy was, well among other things, illiterate?
3oddnames
April 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

S-M: Spidey is doing his campiest Shatner impression in panel one complete with choppy line reads and tortured jazz hands. In panel two he is showing his joy with the latest dance craze: “Army Paratrooper”
Darryl Heine
April 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Remember in a Marvel Fun Puzzle Book in the 1970′s: “Change Stan Lee to Lady Sif in 7 Easy Steps”.
Gringo
April 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Wunky Finkerbean: Brings this to mind:

Don’t say you love me when it’s just a rumor/
Don’t say a word if there is any doubt/
Sometimes I think of love as just a tumor/
You’ve got to cut it out.
debussy fields
April 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

MT–What a bunch of bullshit. Who would react this way? Where will he even begin to look for a guy lost in the wide-open great outdoors? Cherry, sipping her coffee, doesn’t even seem all that concerned, so why would Mark react to her words in any other way than to utter, “Fuck him. Let’s eat.”
tb4000
April 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

S-M: “You err, web-weaver”. No matter how it’s said, this is basically the entire credo of this strip.
UncleJeff
April 17th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

McManx @ 20: Mark Trail — Mark looks awfully gleeful at the prospect of going to look for Ranger Tom. Perhaps this is “Brokeback Lost Forest.”
(any excuse is a good excuse for getting out of the house)

JP: Is today’s strip in the Seattle P-I a mistakenly repeated strip or have I just lost track of how much swag is being traded around the 1% of Parkerville?
Ned Ryerson
April 17th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

The Amazing Spider Man: Oh yeah, and there is one other thing. I was telling the Lady Sif about how I threw you into that Asgardian force field and how awesome it was when your mortal body FRZZZ-APPED into that thing and the Lady Sif just loves that kind of Jackass style shit soooo, and I’m just askin’ here and you don’t have to agree to this but the Lady Sif would really dig it if you let me throw you into some kind of force field type thing or like whatever you got down here on earth, like maybe some high voltage power lines or something. So, whaddaya say, buddy?
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

SF: Hold it, Alice. This is a job for Cuss Skunk.
RavenHawk
April 17th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Spiderman: I think he’s doing the “Time Warp” (…you bend knees in tight).

Judge Parker: THRILL, as April looks for air freshners for her two new cars!!! SCREAM in horror, as Randy spills his triple latte on the front seat of his new car!!!

The drama of new car ownership, has kept me on the edge of my seat, for the last week. Did you know that April also got an unlimited gas card, too? Know, how I know? THEY HAVEN’T STOPPED MENTIONING IT!!!
sldawgs
April 17th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Do the Spidey Dance!
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
April 17th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Crank: A fucking rodeo?? REALLY??

Luann: HIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Love is…: “Taurean”? Is that even a word?

RMMD: Yeah. Explicit. Just like your exposed (yummy) cleavage!!
TheDiva
April 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

FW: Teen dating, like everything else in Funkytown, is conducted in a passive-aggressive and implausible manner.

MT: “Oh all right, if it will make you feel better I’ll go look for Ranger Tom Martin! But I’m missing out on pancakes!”

SM: Sif: “I did not believe thee, beloved, but thou hast spoken truly…he is a total tool.”

9CL: What, did Brooke decide he didn’t devote enough time to the Love in the Time of Concentration Camps story?

A3G: Here it comes, the inevitable “Nina’s mom died in childbirth which is the only plausible reason why any woman would not be deliriously happy at the prospect of motherhood” revelation….

BRSG: Obvious joke. True, but obvious.

C’shaft: Why do I get the feeling the “school bus rodeo” is yet another one of Batiuk’s passive-aggressive attacks on service personnel? “Buses always stop in front of puddles! I bet they do it on purpose, just to inconvenience me specifically!” (And I realize I’m using “passive-aggressive” to describe both Batiuk strips today, so give him credit for consistency.)

Luann: Ann immediately hates Shannon, once again proving she’s the sanest, most sensible person in the strip.

MW: Mary desperately tries to get some meddling in at the buzzer. “You were shaken awake! Did you see how I, Mary Worth, pointed it out for you? You should thank me for my insightful observations, without which your personal revelations would be worthless!”

Pluggers should be thankful they no longer have to jam their fat fingers into those little holes.
Dood
April 17th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

That scene of Spidey dancing will go viral in the Realm Eternal.
Dartpaw86
April 17th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

Nah, Spidey just really has to go.
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

SpdBmp: So that’s how the young, hip, with-it Plugger hooks up!
Weaselboy
April 17th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Now that Mary realizes that she can’t take any credit for Nola’s awake-shaking, Look for her to tell Nola about the time she helped rescue a kidnapped girl.
Gringo
April 17th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Frazz: And another strip climbs on the tech-bashing, dead-tree-hugging bandwagon …
Austria
April 17th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

Arch: Okay, what? I want that dress. Gimme.

FC: Ha ha. He thinks he’s going to age. What do you think this is, Jeffy, For Better or For Worse?

Luann: Clearly the two of them are about to form an alliance. The world will never again see the light of day.

S-M: “Man, how I love a happy ending! Now I can get back to my TV!!!”

Zits: Unrelated, but I had a dream last night that Jeremy was getting the stuffing beaten out of him…and the artwork was really quirky and good.
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

This one was especially satisfying to post after the weekly group hatchet job TwoP gave “How I Met Your Mother” last night. I really hate when they do that. It’s like… snarking mercilessly on FW well before 1992 or something. I just don’t go onto that site in the same spirit as I come here. It’s easier to read a bad, or once-good, comic strip than it is to sit through and entire TV show that I think sucks just to snark it online. And even sitting through an entire bad movie is palatable when Joel/Mike and the bots are riffing on it throughout the whole furshlugginer thing!

Does…. all this actually “sell” anyone on reading my web comic? I better stop here before it all turns into (gasp) Pibgorn/McEldowney!
Dennis Jimenez
April 17th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

@sldawgs (#34): Right side, cross – Left side, cross – Step, step – Toes, waist, celebrate!
Hiro Protagonist
April 17th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Spiderman should never, ever, under any circumstances, say the phrase “happy ending” while making those hand motions ever, ever again.
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

MT – Cherry obediently pours Mark another cup of coffee as Mark has come to expect of her ever since he hid all her copys of Gloria Steinem’s Ms. magazine.
sporknpork
April 17th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Spiderman’s dance is truly embarrassing, in a “Do the Urkel” kind of way that haunts your subconscious. At least Cleatus the FOX Sports Robot has dignity… and some sweet moves.
Santa Royale With Cheese
April 17th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

S-M: I like to think that Spidey isn’t dancing, but moving around like Ed Grimley. Triangle solo! I’m going positively mental!
Binder's Butter Beans
April 17th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

I’m going to see how many times I can work “You err, web-weaver” into my conversations today.

(Now taking odds on the possibility that by the end of the day, no one will be speaking to me, or even making eye contact!)
Binder\'s Butter Beans
April 17th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#48): That Pat Sajak seems a decent fellow, I must say!
Horace Broon
April 17th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Blondie: This completely fails to make any sense on multiple levels.

Crankshaft: Ed isn’t just an unlikable asshole, he’s the greatest unlikable asshole!

FC: Never, Jeffy. You will always be whatever age you’re supposed to be now. And too moronic to play games aimed at that age group either.

FW: Suddenly struck by how much Cody looks like another nerdy kid who was in this strip when it started. Was Batiuk sitting at home thinking “How can I make the Moore family dynamic even more screwed up?”

MW: It’s supposed to be a mark of a good strip if it can make you feel what the characters feel. And, like Nola, I feel like I need shaken awake.
Perky Bird
April 17th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

If the spider that bit him transferred its powers, Spiderman’s pathetic dance moves show he couldn’t have been bitten by a black widow spider, or he’d have more rhythm and soul. Even if he’d been bitten by a brown recluse, he could have managed some sexy salsa moves. Was he bitten by some sort of really, really white spider? Maybe one that also wears glasses and a dental retainer?
queek, mouseless
April 17th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

grrrr.

Lio: *hearts*

CdS: yay, Loris!

Zits: *gigglez* nice panel 2 and punchline.

PMP: service fail.

rMC: o Ashley, you can do so much better.

F-: DOG!
Holly Folly
April 17th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

Okay, did they really need an extreme close up on her face when she was talking about ‘the sexually explicit parts of Dad’s book.’ Really?
queek, mouseless
April 17th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

Love Is . . . horny, like bull. (in “Peggy” voice)
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

JP-Sorry but you don’t get the gas card that comes with your car. I gave it to my lawyer.

JP 2-Are those cars? Those things look to big to be cars. Maybe April and Randy are really Hobbits.

JP 3-Either those things are cars are Germany is secretly rearming by making tanks look like cars.

JP 4-I know they like big breasts in this comic but I didn’t know they liked big cars as well.
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

MT-”Finally a chance to get out of here and away from your cling self,” Mark gleefully thinks to himself
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

MT – “Oh, all right! IF it will make you feel better I will go and try to find him for you, DAMN-IT! EVEN if it IS before my pancakes are ready,(grumble-grumble)!!”

“THANK you Mark, but you know how you could REALLY make me feel better? By you finding ranger Tom Martin and then having you leave us again for another three months or so. But DON’T worry Mark, ranger Tom Martin knows HOW to help me around the house!”

“MARK! Before you go, WILL you fullfill your promise to take me fishing with you? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?!!”

“NOT now kid, CAN’T you see there is a possible emergency situation at hand here because a good friend of your mother’s is not answering her calls? At times like this I can NOT be bothered with such trivial nonsense, especially taking mutant kids like you FISHING! Ferget-it kid! You may as well pawn yer fish’n pole!” *#!SLAM!#*BUMP!*#POW!#*#SMACK!!*#*OW!”

“MARK! THAT’S the door to the celler!!”
captainswift
April 17th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

I wouldn’t think “reads like a screenplay” would be complimentary. I assume they mean “You can see the movie in your mind” as you read it, but reading the actual screenplay of a film is generally pretty dry and functional.
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

MW-You were shaken awake. Shaken like a baby is shaken.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Fred Basset: Oh, no. Are we about to have Marvin-like Bitsy farting episodes?
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#48): Spin wheel, spin!
sporknpork
April 17th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

@Sequitur (#61): Possibly that combined with Family Circus-style dotted line adventures.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

@Squeak (#16):
Yes, I was admiring the Rastafarian / Selassie vibe in Mark’s house too.
Lively Up Yourself, Mark! I wonder what Cherry made for dessert.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

@queek, mouseless (#53): So sorry on the loss of your mouse.

(Can you even click on a link?)
Stroker Ace
April 17th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

FW – Such wimpy teens. In my day we were doing something constructive: shoplifting.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

@sporknpork (#63): The strange thing is on the FRED BASSET SCALE OF FUNNINESS this is absolutely hilarious.
giraffe-o
April 17th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

Which one of the gazillion Marvel ‘multi-universes’ contains the wussy comic-strip Spiderman? Cos really, Galactus should come over and eat that Earth. Or at least have Spiderman from Earth-616 show up, slap down the comic-strip pretender like a bitch, and abscond with Mary Jane.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

@queek, mouseless (#53):
Did you lose a small pet? If so, I am sorry.
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

JP-”Nothing happened between us last night much to my disappointment,” June remarks.
The Ghost of Jarrod
April 17th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

FW – Okay, this is really starting to annoy me. Look, Nice Guy™, sending an anonymous message to the girl you have a crush on is weird even if it was technically possible to do it the way you did. You want to date her? Go up to her and ask her. There’s no other way to do it. She might say yes. She might say no. But at least you’ll have an answer, and you can move on from there.

Ultimately, stuff like this bugs me because it teaches that you can’t deal with members of the opposite sex the way you’d deal with humans. Instead, you’re supposed to be passive-aggressive and secretive and come at things from an odd angle. I’d be aghast at the lessons Batiuk is teaching kids these days if I believed anyone under 40 read Funky Winkerbean un-ironically.
Esther Blodgett
April 17th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

@Stroker Ace (#66): Not comics-related, but your comment reminded me of a recent conversation with a 40-something friend, who was slamming his 20-something employees as “lazy.” I reminded him that at that age, he was not only lazy but constantly stoned. To which he replied, “At least I had a reason!”
btown
April 17th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

@Perky Bird (#52): while it’s well known that P. Parker/Spidey is a straight up punk, his grotesque position in panel 2 could be (mis)interpreted as some pretty funky dancing, like here.

This is subliminally reinforced by the fact that his facial structure in Panel 1 is very similar to Michael Jackson’s
The Ghost of Jarrod
April 17th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

@Liam (#70):

See, I read this conversation between June and what’s-her-name differently. I mean, sure, she was tired, and maybe it wasn’t her best effort, but that doesn’t mean she made a fool of herself.
Frank Lee Meidere
April 17th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Spider-Man: Let me show you the dance of my pedipalps.
Little Guy
April 17th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Funky: I thought it involved a self-pitying creature who lost her partner to a more attactive woman and wouldn’t stop whining about…. wait, she’s actually perfect for this strip.

RMMD: And here I thought the plot revolved around a woman in a cleavage-revealing robe. Silly me.

ASD: Double handjobs for all!
Droopy Says
April 17th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

@Jocelyn Knockersbury (#14): At first I had the same thought about Summer and Cody being related, which would allow Batiuk to add incest to his list of relevant story lines while retaining FW’s gag-a-day status. Then I realized what we have here is a Midwich Cuckoos rip-off. Funkyville has been targeted by gloomy, smirky, dull-eyed aliens to host their offspring, who will band together and mope: the Village of the Idiots.
queek, mouseless
April 17th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

bb,u knows that this is what it’s all about.

Brad Pitt at 14.(aren’t you all glad that EpheboBear isn’t a meme?)

Poteet’s hungry dreams.

The Daily Puppy is a handsome mix.

floofy corgsqui.

doood, like I can hear the grass growing! (derpy corgsqui.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

RMMD: “Who knew mom could fit so many ice cubes in her mouth? Well, good for her I suppose.”

S-M: Spider-Man sure does love happy endings. In fact he’s getting ready to give himself one right now. It’s just a question of which hand.

JP: Man, the suspense is killing me. Not killing me as in separating my head from my shoulders, unlike with some people in this storyline. More a “please move on to something else” killing.

SFx: The mermaid is in training for the whale jump at this year’s Mer-Olympics. They have to do really extensive steroid testing for that one.

GA: She was addressing the kitten, not Slim. Two very different beings. The kitten may someday be able to read at high school level.

Popeye: This being tax day makes me wonder if Haggy is remembering to declare bribes and explosives as business expenses.

MW: If this one ran in black and white, it would look like Mary was stroking Nola’s hair in the second panel. Would give the proceedings an interesting new dimension.

BB: Amos reminds himself never to put Zero in charge of the motor pool.

Garfield: The butterfly just remembered that it’s actually Zhuangzi.

Marvin: As it happens, you can’t spell “poor job performance evaluation” without “poop.”

DT: I don’t know exactly what Dick’s plan is, but I assume landmines are involved somehow.
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

9CL: See, Brooke? You can be charming instead of insufferable! More of this, please?

Crank: Christ, what a Crankshaft!

Curtis: This strip’s on a storyline tape loop!

MW: Shake ‘n’ Bake! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(Really, Moy, you’re boring me to tears here!)

NS: Of course Danae is insufferable — she gets it from her dad.

And the Vocabulary Word for today is… “insufferable”.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

@sldawgs (#34):
S – P – I – D – E – Y
Spidey!
I can dance if I want to.
I can leave Asgard behind.
‘Cause the gods don’t dance,
And if they don’t dance, well they’re
No frie — HOLY CRAP, it’s time for my shows!

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#48): spot on, Sir and/or Madam!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 17th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#72):

I had a reason to be stoned, too. The reason being all the pot I had just smoked….

Wait, what?

JP – Usually, the goggling over unearned endowments (sic) only takes a strip or two. This overkill is really out of character. It’s like when an NFL player scores a touchdown then performs an elaborate touchdown dance. You should act as if you have been there before, and just calmly toss the ball to the referee. Same goes for storming the court when your team wins a basketball game. Judge Parker should have the same attitude as the University of Kentucky. We are the 1%, we EXPECT to win every game, there is no need for an over-the-top celebration. Accept your bribe, casually dismiss its significance, and go back to guzzling your wine and ignoring your woman’s charms.
Comcis Fan
April 17th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (YT#241): I was tired, it was late, I forgot to contem-plate.

If I were a forensic linguist or some such, looking at your poetry, I would guess you might be David Kirk of Miss Spider fame!
Mark B.
April 17th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#82): Honestly, can the receipt of a tank/car with no gas card … can that really be called a boon? Without the Sheik’s free gas, who can afford to drive it. Nobody, not even a Parker. And don’t say he can borrow April’s gas card, the Sheik has somebody to monitor the license plates, and if they violate the agreement, well, you saw what happened to jealous old castoff wife.

Naw, within a year, the burden of keeping up a giant tank-car that gets 0.2 MPG will bankrupt Randy within a year, and he’ll be sleeping in the car by the river.
Gringo
April 17th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Next on the list of Outrageous Bling for the Juggs Parker gang …
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

MW: “You were shaken awake.” Well, that’s a good start. Now let’s try for “slapped silly”.

RMMD: Iris, if you think it’s bad that your Dad wanted you to read a sexy memoir about your Mom, just be thankful you’re not a Burber.

SM: Spidey’s dance of elation is simply explained. “You’re speaking to me from Asgard? Hoo-boy, I got a new cable channel!”
Rusty
April 17th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

“Was he a lovable old rogue who perhaps drank a bit more than he should? Or was he a hateful alcoholic dick?” This hits a little close to home re: my self-image and my children’s perception of me.
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (yesterday*#245):

Jonn, are you suggesting that the newsprint and magazine industry, which has been in decline for decades, would experience a sudden revival if only Slylock Fox had better mysteries to solve? I’ll totally back you up on it, I just want to be sure that’s what you mean, though.

If Bob Weber, Jr. wants to expand the franchise he should tie it together with another franchise. Shylock starring in CSI: For Kids.

Go for the gold.

Now someone explain to me if Max Mouse, like Dr. Watson before him, is an M.D..

If he is a doctor, I have much, much more respect for him making it through medical school. It is one thing for a mouse to accomplish that but it is even way more impressive if he made it through without getting dissected.
Rob
April 17th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#15):

Oh, yeah, she’s texting roadside!
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

MT: It’s kind of like Peyton Place! Or Dynasty! In a forest!

Luann: while I’m not a fan of Ann Eiffel, I love TJ and Shannon’s interactions (about the only thing I like about the strip). This ought to be interesting, for once in a blue moon.
Ned Ryerson
April 17th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Yay! The return of the ever popular COFFEE POURING PANEL!

Gosh, I love that panel!
Johnny Knuckles
April 17th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

MT: “If it will make you feel better I’ll go try and find him.” Mark Trail: Passive aggressive hero.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#91):
Is there a US Patent on that panel? If not, there should be.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#81):
Montreal Shoutout! LOL
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#69):
Ugh, my gf found that a lovely young squirrel (who had his pro pic taken recently) had perished in our neighbor’s swimming pool-she saw the H2O looking a bit different and thought it looked like one of our cats-thankfully it wasn’t, but she was pretty bummed last night. : (
Where was Kelly Welly to report on this unfortunate mishap, and to tell people to deal with their damn overground pools in a safer fashion?
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Binder Butt #49- ewe air, non-color-coordinated earth dude!
commodorejohn
April 17th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

6Chix – One Marvin is way more than enough, thanks. (Though at least this isn’t rendered in a lazy knockoff of Jim Davis’s laziest period of art style.)

A3G – “Vague tragedy, Margo.”

Curtis – Good, this stupid plot that nobody enjoys and is never interesting is over! Now let’s move on to something else! Anything else!

Dilbert – xkcd must be jealous. Good one, Scott.

FW – Once again, Batiuk labors under the delusion that if you say something stupid and then just keep repeating it, it will become not stupid. Cf. “solo car date,” “vendos,” and the notion that Les Moore is something all the single ladies just can’t get enough of.

GT – So, uh, is Darby’s “ordinary straight hair with a giant bedhead snarl where the ends get tangled” look the hot new thing? Because if it is, I was totally doing that before it was cool. Unintentionally, but still.

HOTC – Uh, ha ha…?

JP – Good Lord, April is seriously going to be lifted off the ground by the antigravity force of her own breasts by the end of the week.

Luann – …why is Shannon staring directly at her boobs?

Mandrake – This is what I got for Mandrake‘s full-size version today. This is what there was for the reduced version. Can you spot the six differences? [*]

PBS – Pig lives in a better world than the rest of us.

Pluggers – …I was born in 1985. We didn’t get a touch-tone phone until the mid-’90s, and we didn’t take our rotary-dial phones out of service until 1997. My parents still have them, because they work in a power outage as long as the phone line’s still good. I know the authors of perpetual email forwards get a lot of yuks out of “hurr, and then the stupid young person says, ‘what’s this circle dealy?’” jokes, but they can’t really be that far out of general memory, can they?

Popeye – What the hell? Did they think Haggy was watching a TV in panel one? A TV surrounded by grass and bushes? Or is it a window, from one patch of lawn to another? King Features, seriously, hire some new color monkeys. I’ll even spring for a bunch of bananas to cover the training-in period.

RMMD – Panel Three Iris’s face says she’s Oh So Traumatized (Lichtenstein!) by the hot, hot sex scenes about her parents, but this is just a front. Panel Two Iris, facing where June can’t see her, is more bemused and intrigued by the subject. Iris, Iris, you’ll never be happy trying to conform to what others think you should be! You’re a cowgirl, dammit, stand up for yourself and embrace that parent-voyeurism fetish!

SH – If you’re going to excise the weird stuff from the lives of Bill Holbrook’s characters, what the hell is going to be left?

SM – In the lead-up to the release of Marc Webb’s The Underwhelming Spider-Man, Sony Pictures cuts a deal with Stan Lee to soften public opinion of the Douche Dance from Spider-Man 3. It’s working, guys, it’s working. Hell, I feel less bad about my dancing looking at this.

Ziggy – Your daily sub-Kevin and Kell-ism, everybody.
Will
April 17th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

CS: Stealing from Bob Newhart is pretty tacky, Batiuk.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
April 17th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

MW “You were shaken awake.”
Shaken, not stirred?

A3G “What sort of tragedy, Scott?”
“A Greek tragedy. She offended the gods and was eaten by a swarm of locusts.”

@Austria (#42): Luann: Clearly the two of them are about to form an alliance. The world will never again see the light of day.

Yes, they serve the same master.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

I miss Dingo, even in his non-filthy moments…I can only imagine (wildly) and put down on pixels (very poorly) how he might’ve animated ol’ Crazy Legs and Jazz Hands…
(Hopefully, it would’ve been in a supremely vulgar way!)
Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#79): GA: She was addressing the kitten, not Slim. Two very different beings. The kitten may someday be able to read at high school level.

And the kitten can be litter box trained.
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

MT-While you are out take Rusty with you. It will be good to do some fake dad/son bonding. You’ re always off on some adventure and you never take Rusty with you.

FW-The reply is just an ad for those penis enlargement pills.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
April 17th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#79): MW: If this one ran in black and white, it would look like Mary was stroking Nola’s hair in the second panel. Would give the proceedings an interesting new dimension.

Although, in panel 1, Mary does have her hand under the table. In her lap. Or, well, in someone’s lap.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#97):
Aw, I love a good rotary phone! I grew up with them (I am 49 years young)
Funny to think that some folks don’t understand these, or any size / playspeed of vinyl record, or pinball machines! : P
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#100):
; (

Dancing Queen(s) redux!
RIP dingo
Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#101):

We assume the kitten can be litter box trained. The kitten is in the litter box. It may be using the litter box. But if you take off the lid to try and confirm this, the act of observing will force a state realization similar to that in today’s Dilbert.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#104): Or ever played with a Magnetel.
Ez-92
April 17th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

So, now that Spidey’s wrapped up the Thor storyline, what’s the over/under that his next adventure somehow involves the Avengers?
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#104):

Aw, I love a good rotary phone! I grew up with them

And I grew up without them. I was in Junior High, I believe, when our town finally got those big-city rotary phones that meant you no longer had to pick up the receiver and tell the operator the number you wanted to call.

God, I’m older than dirt.
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Spiderman-We speak to you from Asgard but we can’t speak long because calling Earth is expensive.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#109): I’m agog :/
That is a teensy bit on the venerable side (OTOH, you might’ve just grown up in the sticks, which is just a stone’s throw from the boonies…).
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

@Ez-92 (#108): I’d love to see Emma Peel and John Steed put down Spider Man.

(Okay. I know you probably mean the Marvel Comics guys. But still…[.])
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#20):

Mark Trail — Mark looks awfully gleeful at the prospect of going to look for Ranger Tom. Perhaps this is “Brokeback Lost Forest.”

I dunno. That would imply that he has some sort of libido. Doubt it.
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

@Elmo (#17):

The other possibility which comes out of that is maybe Doc and Cherry are experimental androids with no sexual capabilities included.

I think that better explains Mark.
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

S-M — “We’re back to wearing heavy hideous uncomfortable costumes and living in architecture uglier than your fourth-rate bankrupt shopping malls! So actually we’re down here to grab a couple of armloads of drugs, because that’s how we cope up there, plus the cases of booze Loki steals from your warehouses when he’s not being a dick.”
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

MT – Panel 2: Doc looks like Jean-Luc Picard.

Make it so Number One!
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

@queek, mouseless (#78): Amazing.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

@Der Schnärkïnätör (#116): I think Doc would actually care more about making a number one, like so.
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

9CL — So Edda is happy about being pregnant? Or happy to just wait and see whether or not a baby pops out of her lady-parts several months from now? Or happy to be part of her family’s very weird reunion, with any possible pregnancy being unimportant by comparison? Oh hell, why do I even wonder.
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#111): You may be right about the boonies. Not only did we pick up the phone and tell the operator the number we wanted to call, we also actually all knew who the operator was who asked for the number. (She was Mrs. Shook, and her daughter was in my grade at school.)

So let me amend my previous comment: I’m older than dirt, and I grew up in Hootin’ Holler.

There. I feel much better about myself now.
Mark B.
April 17th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#120): Not quite there, but I remember the party line at my grandma’s house. It wasn’t as much fun as it sounded like. I just remember listening for the special ring so we could know the phone call was for us and not for the Scholtz’s, who lived about a half mile away.
Señor Tortilla
April 17th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

A3G – “I killed her with an axe and threw her body in a dumpster. I mean, nothing.”

BB – Going for the old Gasoline Alley “We’re not funny at all, and we recognize it?” gambit. Here’s a hint: it didn’t work for them.

Curtis – “And Cousin Andrew is still in prison, too!”

RMMD – Cleavage?

Popeye – Given how much water Doomsday Doll produced, presumably from some sort of mechanical wonders inside of her, the witch who looks sort of like Popeye could make a killing by renaming the DD and sending her to drought-stricken areas. Cut Lex Luthor A Check, again.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
April 17th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

RMMD — So he wrote a combination porn novel and stage layout for a later movie?
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

RMMD-I keep looking at Iris’ robe hoping a breast will fall out at some point.
cheech wizard
April 17th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

SM – All this stuff about old Nordic gods has me wondering just how many newspapers carry Spiderman in the Bible Belt. Because this kind of stuff is way, way worse than evolution.
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

@Mark B. (#121): And for the first maybe 10 years of my life we had one of those, too. One long ring for us, a short double-ring for the Johnsons upstairs. Our phone number was 712-R.

I had better stop thinking about it now, before I remember the wooly mammoths in the back yard.
Artie
April 17th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

You can always send a text from a burner. Not strictly “anonymous”, but less the recipient sees the incoming message and says, “Oh, a text from X!”
Anonymous
April 17th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

bLuann: I like Shannon. She’s got spunk, and she responds to people like TJ who know how to talk to her, and she recognizes evil (or what passes for it in this strip) and phoniness.

You can’t bullshit her! She sort of like a female Calvin (r.i.p.). Sort of. There of course will never be another Calvin.

You have to feel sorry for Anne Eifel (sp.?). She’s trying to do her job, as has been pointed out. How would YOU like to be the manager of a place called Weenie World?

Hasn’t everyone noticed how much (relatively speaking) the strip has improved over the last few weeks without Luann figuring in the plots?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
April 17th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#126): I recently inherited a business card that belonged to my great grandfather. The phone number of his butcher shop was “2″.

I find that extremely hard-core. I wonder who/what “1″ was…
Sprobert
April 17th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

FW: An “anonymous” text message really just means that Summer doesn’t have his phone number, and that if she showed the number to any of her friends they wouldn’t have the number either. This young nerd has been willing to stay unpopular just for the ability to send Summer anonymous messages. Because any offspring of Les’s is worth that level of dedication.
GePop
April 17th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

MW: Raising public awareness of Shaken Nola Syndrome.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#91): that panel NEEDS to be offered as a cross-stitch or needlepoint kit. Of course, multiple kits would probably need to be offered, depending on whether you want to see Mark in a khaki or raspberry-pink shirt, and Cherry in the veritable rainbow of blouses that she has in her closet. (And I did note, as I was reusing my stash of panels that the curtains are available in different colors, too…what an embarrassment of handicraft riches!)
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@Marc (#24):
A3G: whether or not it is a trip down memory lane, now that the toasts have invoked the dead that leaves little wiggle room to go to another room to wiggle around with Margo.

Scott, you rich buzzkill, you.
BeckoningChasm
April 17th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

I suppose if one bought one of those pay-as-you-go cell phones, one could put in a fake name and thus send “anonymous” texts. But yeah I don’t care enough to research this.
Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#129): I wonder who/what “1? was…

Commander Riker?
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#129): Was Patrick McGoohan “6″?
Cloudbuster
April 17th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

A3G: As the toasting progresses….

Margo: An’ a toast to Nina’s cousin’s daughter!
Scott: Here, here! Bes’ fuckin’ wife’s cousin’s daughter evah!
Mago: (hic) I don’ have a cousin’s daughter. Dat makes me sad!
Scott: Dat’s OK, you can have Nina’s.
Margo: Rilly? Dat’s so nice. Yer so nice. (presses against Scott)
Scott: Yer nice, too. Best decorator in stiletto heels. So hot….
Margo: Hopin’ you’d notice.
(and then the sex)
Alfred E. Neuman
April 17th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man— Spidey shows his relief by engaging in a celebratory Valsalva Maneuver.
Dood
April 17th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: Verily, Sif, if you throw out your hands, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give them a push, even mortals are surprised that they are doing the French Mistake.
Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
April 17th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

MT: Cherry: I called his office, but no one answered, and then I tried his cell…he didn’t answer that either! I sent him an email, a tweet, and a text message, but still no answer! Finally, I tried a special signal that Ranger Tom Martin and I have, but still…nothing!
Mark: Special signal?
Rusty: Mark, you said you’d take me fishing when Ranger Tom Martin gets here!
Cherry: Yeah, I uh … on our flagpole!
Rusty: Please, Mark!
Mark: Flagpole?
Cherry: Yeah, a pair of my um panties.
Mark: And that’s a signal you worked out with Ranger Tom Martin?
Cherry: Yes, if he sees my panties on the flagpole, he will come to the house!
Mark: He’ll come right away?
Cherry: Well, not right away, it usually takes…
Rusty: MARK!
Mark: Rusty, for God’s sake! I told you that we’d go fishing when Ranger Tom Martin arrived! Is he here? Do you see him? No, he’s not here, so shut the fuck up! Christ, even a mutant retard like you should be able to figure that out!
Cherry: …quite a while! Yes, Ranger Tom Martin really knows how…..
Mark: If it will make you feel better, I’ll go try to find him!
Cherry: It will, Mark. Oh, it will!
Naked Bunny with a Whip
April 17th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

I send restricted text messages all the time. The best thing about them is you don’t need to know your recipient’s phone number. Nor do you need a cell signal, or even a cell phone. And the replies are never unpleasant.

Of course, I don’t tell my friends about restricted texts. Except by using restricted texts. Judging by the restricted replies, they think I’m brilliant. And handsome.
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

MT – “If it makes you feel better I will go try and find him!”(BAM!*TUMBLE!#@#SLAM!#!#CRASH!#DAMN#! THUD!!#*BUMP!#’!SPLASH!!)
“MARK! THAT is the door to the WATERSLIDE!”
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

MT – “If it makes you feel any damnbetter I will go try and find the bastard!”(BAM-BAM-BAM! POP! ACK-ACK-ACK! BOOM!) “…..WHAT the FU__?!”
“MARK! THAT is the door to the FIRING RANGE!”
Northern lurker
April 17th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

FW: so how did dweeby guy get Summer’s number? And what good will it do if she doesn’t know who sent the text?
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

MT – “Well, IF it makes you feel any better I will go and try to find the son-ofa-bi..AAYHAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
“”MARK! THAT is the door to the BOTTOMLESS PIT you dug for Rusty!”
Shrug
April 17th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

@Gringo (#85):

“I thought *you* had rolled up the windows….”
Ned Ryerson
April 17th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#132): The most awesomest thing about this appearance of the CHERRY POURS MARK SOME COFFEE PANEL is that this appears just THREE WEEKS after the last appearance!. Most of the time you have to slog through months and months of PLOT before you get back to the friendly confines of coffee pouring!

Also, these last two panels both feature good ‘ol Doc talking about Ranger Tom Martin and his Aerial Survey, as if he’s just been stewing over there in the corner thinking about Ranger Tom Martin and his Aerial Survey for three weeks. It’s like this current plot is stuttering!

And hey, guess what everybody! This time around Andy’s tongue got colored properly so it didn’t just blend in with the table! Huzzah! What a day!
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#129): I’m pretty sure the Beatles number would be 9.
Calico
April 17th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#107):
Ha, or this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHMr–MkJOI
I’m pretty certain Kid #1 turned out to be a serial killer, and Kid #2 a lower figure in La Cosa Nostra.
Shrug
April 17th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#109):

Me too.
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

MT – “If it makes you feel like yer the one in charge I will go and try to find him!”
(WWWOO-WWOO-WWWOO-WOOOOOOSH! beeeep-beeep-beeeeep-beeeeeep…)

“MARK! THAT is the door to the flying saucer that landed last night!”

“Cherry, does this mean Mark will never be taking me fishing?”

“Well Rusty, lets just say if you still want Mark to take you fishing, you may have to settle for one of his favorite lakes or streams on Uranus!”
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

@Comcis Fan (#83): It is kind of you to say so. Sadly, I’m not familiar with David Kirk’s oeuvre. A specialist in entomological verse, isn’t he?

I model my serious poetry after that of W. Topaz McGonagall, though attentive readers of my early work will see the influence of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s hilarious dialect poems, and St. Thomas Aquinas’ jocular masterpiece, Summa Theologica, as well.
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#147):

Maybe I’m giving who ever does Mark Trail’s dailies too much credit but the reuse of that panel, almost verbatim, could be an ingenious method of reminding the reader about the earlier part of the story. It could even be used to set up foreshadowing. If it is used again maybe it will lead to something actually happening in the strip so it isn’t used again.

Some ring up Slylock Fox or Bronze Meddlin’ Mary Worth to get to the bottom of the mystery in Lost Forest. With luck, only Slylock will come back alive, licking his chops. (he needs a good meal; he’s skin and bones)
Shrug
April 17th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#126):

We were “two long rings.”

I forget how many families were on our party line (maybe six or eight). Obviously the system would not have worked in the Big Town we lived three miles outside of (with the population well over six hundred), since assuming there were, say, 200 households with phones in said town, a party line would have to allow for possibilities like “our ring is seventeen longs, eleven shorts, and then thirty-two more longs and one more short” and by the time you’d counted all of the rings and knew whether or not to pick up the phone, the person calling you would have given up and just walked over to talk to you.
ArchieNemesis
April 17th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#12): Ahh, that’s good snark.
Illustrator Steve
April 17th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

MT – “If he makes you feel better I’ll go try to find him for you! What th…” (ARF! *BONK!* ARF-ARF-ARF! *BOINK! BUMP!* ARF!ARF!ARF! I-ARF-found-jacket!ARF!-ARF!!)
“MARK! THAT is the door to Jackelrod’s LAST stupid plot line!!!
Frank Lee Meidere
April 17th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#126): @Shrug (#154): In Wainfleet, where I lived for a while as a young teen, our ring was one long and two short. The party line had certain advantages. For instance, if you were visiting a neighbour and heard your ring, you could answer the phone without worrying about any “call forwarding” nonsense. Likewise, if you knew a neighbour had gone for the day and you hear their ring on your phone, you could always pick up and tell the caller to try again later.
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

@Ned Ryerson (#147):

And hey, guess what everybody! This time around Andy’s tongue got colored properly so it didn’t just blend in with the table! Huzzah! What a day!

Good eye!

I pulled them both up of them (3/27 & 4/17) so I could click back and forth to see what else changed. The curtains went from light greenish-blue to white, and Cherry’s shirt color changed too. The older one is cropped a bit tighter on the right too. All of their expressions are still the same.

RangeTomMartin has no idea as to how lucky he is to be tied to a tree instead of in the cabin.
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#149): I wonder how those Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots would do against this guy?
Frank Lee Meidere
April 17th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#152):
I’m familiar with your serious work. I think my favourite would have to be, “The Mysterious Prime Mover of the Bridge of Tay,” which contains these immemorable lines:

It is certain that in the world
Some things are in motion,
But what this mover may be is not at all easy to say;
Nature won’t have her veils stripped away,
But this we know, on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
When mystery filled the light of day,
And the Demon of the air seem’d to say –
“I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”

As I recall, during your first (and sadly, last) performance of this piece, there wasn’t a dry seat in the house.
KreatureFeatures
April 17th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

@queek, mouseless (#55): I’m shocked to see penetration depicted in today’s Love Is.
Baka Gaijin
April 17th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

The light just came on. Ann Eifel and Toni’s brother did things that would make Dingo blush (God rest his soul) about 6 years ago. Shannon’s mommy abandonment-dar just pegged out.

Shook Nina to the core? Yup, first real orgasm, courtesy random stranger walking in the park.

I love seeing Alice ball up her dainty little fists. I love seeing Ted Forth ball up his dainty little fists, too. Have we ever seen those two in the same room together?
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

@Northern lurker (#144):

He just typed Summer’s name in the keypad and it went to her.

FW-Hey look at this Summer is a member of the Nigerian Royal Family and she needs my help getting out of Nigeria. Now that is odd I just saw her five minutes ago. Oh well. It also says that if I send her fifty dollars to help her leave then she will send me $500,000.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 17th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#100): Dingo would approve. Bob Fosse would be jealous.

@Mark B. (#121): @seismic-2 (#126): We also had a party line when I was a kid. The other party rarely used it. When they did, it would be tied up for hours, but no one was talking. All you could hear was someone whistling as they banged away with a hammer, as if they were building a house. We wondered why someone would have a phone at a house under construction, or if they weren’t building a house, what were they hammering for hours at a time. This compelled Dad to dig deep into our budget to get, as Batiuk would say, a solo restricted phone line.

@Anonymous (#128) said: “bLuann: I like Shannon. She’s got spunk, and she responds to people like TJ who know how to talk to her, and she recognizes evil (or what passes for it in this strip) and phoniness.”

I hate spunk.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 17th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

@Chareth Cutestory (#6): I was going to ask who cares about Brangelina any more these days, when, lo! I had my answer.

Seriously, though, I can’t imagine that your average high school kid cares that much about either of them, let alone knows anything about how they initially got together. Too old now, both of them, for high schooler crushes.
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#151): MT: MARK: “If it makes you feel any damn better I will go try and find the bastard! (SLAM) Hey, what’s that penny whistle band doing here? What’s with all these cowbells? Who’s laughing at me?
CHERRY; “Oh Mark! THAT is the Door Into Summer!”
DOC: Can’t be. She’s in Funky Winkerbean!
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

MT: Ranger Tom Martin isn’t answering calls from us. That settles it. I’m going to search through a hundred square miles of forest, river, swamp and underbrush on foot as night settles in. It will take me so long to find Ranger Tom Martin that anyone who is kidnapping him will certainly have long facial hair by that point!
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 17th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#36): Yep, my money’s on childbirth, too. *sigh*
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

you err, red&blue space alien
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 17th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else remember the dancing Spiderman gif? http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dancing-spider-man
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

very old Baltimore Orioles fan- you err, Earl Weaver

Nehemiah #166- re DOOR INTO SUMMER: I see you are clinging to the author of your namesake

Butt or Beans- YOUr ERRor, world wide WEB dennis WEAVER!
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Sorry, ERRor was intended to be dERRiere as in chERRy from mark trail has a nice one. Un-Marked, shall we say.
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#160): Those were grand days, when a poet could make a decent living whilst being pelted with eggs and rotten vegetables! The circus isn’t what it used to be.
ArchieNemesis
April 17th, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

@Der Schnärkïnätör (#158) and Ned Ryerson and bats:
It took a steady hand, an eye for detail, and an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Mark Trail, but I think I finally got the coloring right in the ubiquitous coffee-pouring panel.
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Margo: What sort of tragedy was it?

Scott: A tragic tragedy. It’s tragedy when the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on. It’s tragedy when the morning cries and you don’t know why. It’s hard to bear, with no one to love you; you’re going nowhere.

Margo: Tragedy.
Hogenmogen
April 17th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

JP: I thought April gave the unlimited gas card to her lawyer. Eh, with this crowd, you can eat your cake and still have your cake, too, then be rewarded with another whole cake stuffed with $100 bills!

Ok, can we get back to Sophie and her phallic guitar story?
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#174):

Whoa!

Psychedelic and Groovy, man!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 17th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

100 IF ONERR(Among Thieves) = FALSE GOTO 400
200 $Cash = $Cash * 1.01
300 Return
400 $Cash = 0
500 End
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#178): I think that RETURN can only be used with a GOSUB, not a GOTO. I’ll have to check my GW-BASIC manual.

// But right now, I have a sudden urge to GOTO get some spaghetti.
Little Guy
April 17th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#178):

$Cash= IF (ONERR(Among Thieves), 0, $Cash * 1.01)
Mark B.
April 17th, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#180):

I prefer the sugared ‘if’ that you can use with C#

Cash = if ONERR(Among Thieves) ? 0 : Cash * 1.01;
Mark B.
April 17th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

Although I think the logic is backwards. It ought to be like this:

Cash = if !ONERR(Among Thieves) ? 0 : Cash * 1.01;
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#120): it’s probably what makes you so Bodacious (aw aw awww!).
Zerowolf
April 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

9CL: I know this is suppose to be heartwarming, but it looks like the start of geezer incest to me.
Zerowolf
April 17th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

A3G: She died in childbirth, Margo. What makes it so tragic is that had she not had Nina, I wouldn’t be married to that miserable shrew. Come on, let’s fuck!
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#156): I’m reminded of Frank R. Stockton’s sequel to his wildly popular short story, “The Lady or the Tiger?”, “The Lady or the Raccoon Chained to a Log?”.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#174): wow! That’s the most excitement to have happened in Lost Forest in years! And to think Rusty missed it!
Zerowolf
April 17th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

MT: Thank god, an excuse to get out of here before Cherry tries that icky girl stuff on me again.
Zerowolf
April 17th, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

JP: Look, I fell into a giant pile of shit, but my humongous knockers compressed it into diamonds! It’s good being a Spencer-Driver-Parker.
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#174): Very impressive work. Now if we can just get DeanBooth to dress them all in Zippy the Pinhead outfits…
Zerowolf
April 17th, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Who knew there was an ass-hat olympics.
Shrug
April 17th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#186):

Which would certainly be better than Stockton’s real sequel to “The Lady or the Tiger”:

http://tinyurl.com/yze4hzd
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#36): Re A3G, thank you for saying it so I didn’t have to. It’s pretty sad that A3G and 9CL are running just about neck-and-neck in The Great Mommyhood Stupidty Race.
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#193): And I put in that final typo on purpose just to add to the effect. Yeah. *cough*
The Ridger
April 17th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#82): The problem here is that April doesn’t really belong. I mean, what’s this “I can’t drive both cars” nonsense? She could drive one on MWF and the other on TTS and watch someone wash them, in short shorts, on Sunday. Or just leave one ostentatiously parked somewhere never driven because she’s just rich enough to own a luxury Mercedes SUV and never drive it. Oh, Grasshopper has a lot to learn before she is worthy to join the Parker-Spencer-Driver set.
TheDiva
April 17th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#193): I think A3G currently has the advantage, if only because 9CL seems to have a hard time remembering Edda is (maybe) pregnant right now.
The Ridger
April 17th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#176): Didn’t both cars come with unlimited gas cards? Because the sheik knows how to do things properly.
The Ridger
April 17th, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#197): Yeah, I thought I remembered that right: two cars, each with its own gas card. Or at least two cards – it’s possible the errand boys hate Randy and therefore aren’t telling April that the card can’t be used for any other car…
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

JimB Ridger #198- scout around, I’m sure you’ll find another car to use it on
Sequitur
April 17th, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#196): Oh, I’m not so sure. With 9CL you get the mystery pregnancy! And along with the mystery you get intrigue, drama and… No wait. This is 9CL. You’re probably correct, TheDiva.
crazy fungus
April 17th, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

Nehemiah #152- or is that arachnoidal adenoidal verse? Read it with a southern spider’s nasal twange.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 17th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#196): You know, it just occurred to me: if the pregnancy parts of these strips are so awful, what are the birth(s) going to look like?

Oh, holy hells, I do not want to know.
Ned Ryerson
April 17th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Whoa! Don’t drink the brown coffee!
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

April gave one of the gasoline-for-life cards to Sam, for all his outstanding legal advice during the crisis. (“Don’t let the sheriff take your shotgun.”) With free gasoline forever, now Sam and Abby will have a legitimate excuse to buy two or three more Road Queens, at least.
commodorejohn
April 17th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#202): I’m sure the Ultra-Perfect Burbers void their uteruses in a way that has nothing whatsoever to do with yucky proletarian biology; presumably, Spawn Of Edda will spring fully-formed from her forehead in an explosion of Pure Art, or something like that.

As for Apartment 3-G…
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 17th, 2012 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#205): I suspect you’re right, given that this Schrödinger’s embryo was apparently conceived as a result of two people twisting their hands together. Who knows how the heck it plans to exit her body to enter the world?
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#196): @Sequitur (#200): @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#202): @commodorejohn (#205): BWAHAHA!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 17th, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Apologies if someone has linked to this article, but I thought it was interesting—and it explains why the art in CdS looks a bit different now:
http://boingboing.net/2012/04/17/a-cartoonist-paints-a-wiggly-l.html

@queek, mouseless (#78): I was hoping for a hokey-pokey joke there.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 17th, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#193): @TheDiva (#196): @Sequitur (#200): @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#202): @commodorejohn (#205) Re: Burber pregnancy— My guess is that once Edda pees on a stick (a year from now) she will turn out NOT to be pregnant. From that point on, this non-event will be known as the “Immaculate Misconception”.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): Thanks for that link. It’s a fascinating article. I hadn’t known about Stacy Curtis, although I did notice differences between pre- and post-hiatus art. It’s crucial to the strip that Thompson be there to guide it. Of course from the artwork on his blog I can tell that Curtis is tremendously talented too.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2012 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#206):

Who knows how the heck it plans to exit her body to enter the world?

You could consult Clive Barker and David Cronenberg for ideas.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#97):

PBS – Pig lives in a better world than the rest of us.

That was my response too. Don’t ever change, Pig.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

@Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#103): Nola: Shaken awake, stirred aroused.
basilflash
April 17th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

Can’t help it. Whenever I see the name Asgard, I think “Ass-lard”. No more Spiderman for me.
Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

@KreatureFeatures (#161): “I’m shocked to see penetration depicted in today’s Love Is.”

It was penetration, I know
Seeing you alone with the moonlight above
Then I touched your hand and next moment
I kissed you
Penetration turned to love

Then I touched your hand and next moment
I kissed you
Penetration turned to love

(Apologies to Nat King Cole et al.)
Peanut Gallery
April 17th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#48): It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who thought that. I cast Thor in the role of Emil Gustav: “I say, our young friend Fred Grimley seems to be doing his little happy-dance, wouldn’t you say so, dear brother?” while Spidey Ed exults: “Oh, aren’t happy endings just the best? I’m as glad as glad can be, I must say!”
Liam
April 17th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace-”Mom never said anything about paying some other kid to hit Margaret for me.”

Curtis-Looks like Chutney has a new beau that Curtis is going to have to send to jail.

Dustin-What are you wearing?
Rocky Stoneaxe
April 17th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#170): Does anyone else remember the dancing Spiderman gif?

“Biggest Loser Spider-Man” laughs at your puny gif:

http://www.sodahead.com/fun/favorite-comic-book-character/question-2362677/?link=ibaf&q=&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yegeCC-Q7-w/TVqznA9awpI/AAAAAAAAAFU/AN_1n_rzdo4/s1600/fat%25252Bspiderman%25252Bdancing.gif
Baka Gaijin
April 17th, 2012 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Original Plugger’s caption: When Plugger’s get hungry, they get too jittery to dial the pizza guy.

Hope of hopes, Chutney finally saw the light and is kicking Curtis and his doofy hat to the curb.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
April 17th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#90): “Nope.”
I laughed out loud – just at that one word.
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#218): The thing is at one point in time the Dancing Spiderman GIF MEANT something. When you saw it, it was like, yeah, dude. I know what you’re saying and that’s totally it and totally hilarious.

Now, upon seeing for the first time in years (it has been as long as when I last saw the maraca playing partially peeled banana) it is just

hil lar ee us.

And, totally it totally means something, dude.
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

If only the lamer comic strips got it and made Dancing Mark Trails, Jitterbugging Mary Worths, The Posing Roomies of A3G, Les Moore grieving spastically.

You all are missing out on the fun of moving cartoons*, dudes. Get with the 22nd Century before the 21st C. leaves you hanging out at the back of the soup line.

* I know there is another name for that but it escapes me at the moment.
Peanut Gallery
April 17th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#138): Well, that was an interesting link. Say what you will of the guy who created that web site, you cannot claim that he “doesn’t know squat.”
Peanut Gallery
April 17th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#160): Gee, “immemorable” sounded like a compliment until I looked it up.
Nehemiah Scudder
April 17th, 2012 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#224): Some folks claim ginkgo biloba helps. Or maybe it was ginseng, but it’s been used from time immemorial.
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): Thank you — I appreciate that link.
Poteet
April 17th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#209): Ooh, good one!
Sgt. Stoned
April 17th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

MW: And now Mary reveals that the “homeless man” was really she herself in drag.
Old School Allie Cat
April 17th, 2012 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

@Zerowolf (#185): After reading your proposed dialogue for tomorrow’s A3G, I now believe that the last panel “Christ, what an asshole!” could easily be replaced with “Come on, let’s fuck!”

It would turn Crankshaft into a strip about a bus-driving pedophile, but if that’s a downside… I’m willing to chance it.
Quinn Rossi
April 17th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

Since cell phones are relatively modern, I wonder how Cherry’s dialogue bubble in the second panel read at original publication? “…then I tried calling him with the can on the string.” “…then I tried smoke signals.” “…then I went outside an yelled ‘Hey Tom!’ really loud.”
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 17th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

@Quinn Rossi (#230):
Pony Express.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 17th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#223) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#138): Well, that was an interesting link. Say what you will of the guy who created that web site, you cannot claim that he “doesn’t know squat.”

Reading through that site is definitely a moving experience.
seismic-2
April 17th, 2012 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#223): I suspect that moreover he is a man of strong moral fiber.
bats :[
April 17th, 2012 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

@tallyHO (#222): like this?
It goes nicely if you sing “Peanut Budda Jelly Time!” over and over…
tallyHO
April 17th, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#234):
Well, that’s a fine pre-dickament. I thinks I will never dick again.

Yeah. It was something like that. The last time i saw it, the show “Family Guy”–which lost me yeaaars ago–did a bit based on that animated gif.

God, all of those things were much better than the multiplying gerbils that sang that haunted Diddlididdly Doe song. Once, I was in a room where about a dozen computers were playing it, each slightly off-sync. I ran. I’m still running.
Der Schnärkïnätör
April 18th, 2012 at 12:06 am [Reply]

MW – OK, when you think about it, Mary DIDN’T DO SHIT!

Since I don’t read it every day, did I miss anything?

Is this par for the course in the MaryWorhtlessVerse?
[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 18th, 2012 at 12:17 am [Reply]

3G – “Oh, it was a tragedy. She was run over by a streetcar, and it cut off her legs. I mean… you wouldn’t understand.”

Snuffy – “Squeak Squeak SQUEAK! Great balls o’ fire, I’m bodacious!”
[Written hours before I read #183, actually. IF YOU MUST KNOW.]
Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Popeye: Yesterday the Hag told Wimpy: “Tell Miss Oyl you’ll give her this five thousand if she will let Popeye kiss the doomsday doll.”

Today Wimpy tells Olive Oyl: “I’ll give you five thousand if you’ll get Popeye to kiss my country cousin.”

Is there some reason they can’t say the word “dollars”?
Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

@Der Schnärkïnätör (#236): No, that’s pretty much it. Most of the time Mary doesn’t do shit. Other times she doesn’t do squat. But to be fair, sometimes she actually dithers.
seismic-2
April 18th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

Curtis (4/18): Curtis has a busted ukulele. He needs Chutney to “give him the guitar”.
Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#240): And what the hell does a ukulele have to do with a parade in the first place? I’ve seen hundreds of parades in which they’ve played bagpipes, xylophones, clarinets, trombones, drums, and even tubas. But ukuleles? Not once.

Maybe at George Formby’s funeral procession. Aside from that — no.
Poteet
April 18th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

4/18 MW — AAAIEEE, look at Nola’s alleged hand! Look at that so-called thumb! I thought Josh was kidding about her being an alien! Run run run!
Poteet
April 18th, 2012 at 1:02 am [Reply]

MT — Well, looky at that big wide open meadow. And here I thought, based on the scenery of the past two centuries, er, couple of weeks, that we were in a forest. A couple of days from now, we may see Mark striding through a desert with saguaros all around, or maybe we’ll see him trudging through deep snow on a mountain top, or maybe we’ll see him on a lakeshore asking a pair of giant beavers whether they’ve dropped any trees on top of forest rangers recently. You just never know what will happen in LoFo.
Poteet
April 18th, 2012 at 1:19 am [Reply]

S-M — Thor was dumb enough to believe Loki, who is known even to humans as The God Of Making Trouble. So face it, Spidey — you weren’t even able to fool the dimmest bulb in the Asgard chandelier.
Droopy Says
April 18th, 2012 at 1:45 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#243): Given Mark Trail’s personality, we may find him returning to his home in the Uncanny Valley.
Droopy Says
April 18th, 2012 at 1:55 am [Reply]

The Amusing Spiderman: Would that we all could see through Spiderman, as well as Stiff and Sore. It would help if Lieber and Lee drew the strip with invisible ink.

EffYou Wankerbeat: Getting ready to rip off “The Courtship of Miles Standish,” eh, Batiuk? Or is this a remake of “You Got Mail” and its antecedents?

Mock Trail: It’s no surprise that the pot growers would ask the head of the local giant beaver community for criminal advice. But how far should they trust a beaver who doesn’t show good dental hygeine? His teeth are so filthy that they left brown stains all over the exposed wood on that tree.

Pluggers: A catnap? So that’s what Pluggers call a threesome with the family pet.
Ellie
April 18th, 2012 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Rather than cook up long term scenarios for atonement, shouldn’t Nola just call her boss and tell him she lied about her co-worker stealing???
tb4000
April 18th, 2012 at 7:57 am [Reply]

9CL: I’m starting to like old Kiesl.
gleeb
April 18th, 2012 at 8:08 am [Reply]

@Ellie (#247): But she did. A week ago she told Mary that she had told and that The Boss intended to call whats-his-name and offer the drunkard his job back. I can’t blame you for missing it. Life moves really slowly in Charterstone, and one finds oneself as often as not in a confused slumber.
Hogenmogen
April 18th, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

MT: Oh, clever beaver, make it look like an accident!

I’m going to have to say “clever beaver” at least two more times today.
Hogenmogen
April 18th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

Nola (thinks): I was wrong. New leaf. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever this lady wants to hear. Just keep a straight face, get absolution from St. Mary, drink her putrid coffee and get the fuck out of here!

Having dwelled on Mary Worth plots for far longer than is healthy (the USRDA is a maximum of 10 seconds per day), I’m thinking that Nola will be granted an extended week to find true love in the class that she’s taking. Maybe it will be an art class, and she’ll paint something to replace the picture of pot plants in Mary’s dining room.
greghousesgf
April 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@tallyHO (#88): Shylock starring in CSI: For Kids.

Mickey Mouse’s dead body falls out of a cupboard.

Jiminy Grissom: I guess someone slipped him a Mickey.
WHOOOOOO ARE YOU, WHO WHO WHO WHO….
Mistah Big
April 18th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

What disturbs me most about Mark Trail is that it appears to be drawn all of a sudden, instead of slapped together with templates and rubber stamps handed down from a previous generation!
Crazy Jay
April 18th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Why the hell is our friendly, athough completely worthless, neighborhood spider-man doing the pee-pee dance? Is there no toilet in Asgard?!

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

The Comics Curmudgeon

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Baby steps to mental health

254 responses to “Baby steps to mental health”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery