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Some are more funky than others

Funky Winkerbean, 6/29/12

I had never given it much thought, but I can see why Les, a goateed self-styled intellectual, would feel a certain affection for Snowball, the character in Animal Farm meant to represent Leon Trotsky. It’s more of a stretch, but I’d even be willing to see Les and Funky’s sometimes strained friendship as a metaphor for the relationship between Trotsky and Stalin. You know, anything to move us along to the part where Les gets killed in Mexico by a guy with an axe.

Gasoline Alley, 6/29/12

So this week Gasoline Alley abruptly pulled away from its extremely mildly entertaining storyline about a demon-haunted cat to instead focus on Skeezix’s problems with his electronic equipment. “How could this get any more boring?” I said, but then I got to today’s strip and I was all like “Oh.”

Gil Thorp, 6/29/12

“You know, come over here unannounced and then whine to your two-year-old son about his athletic failures. I can’t decide if it’s more creepy or more pathetic. Is there a word that combines the two? Creepthetic?”

144 responses to “Some are more funky than others”

  1. KreatureFeatures
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Tragically, Les had to leave Summer’s corpse high on the shoulder of Mt. Kilimanjaro and hurry home to make insipid comments about Funky’s car. On a positive note, the conflict with his girlfriend over whose daughter gets the Kent State basketball scholarship is now resolved.

  2. Chareth Cutestory
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Whining about one’s athletic failures and forcing your son to practice a sport with you from a very young age is, well, actually, a bit commonplace now that I think about it.

  3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MT: Geez, Mark, is that a gun in your lap, or are you just happy to get a confession?

    And I suppose that any legal system that would accept “crumpled, wet gum wrapper some guy pulled out of his pocket” as incriminating evidence would also accept “unrecorded, unwitnessed confession extracted under threat of bear mauling.”

    MW: I had assumed that advice columnists receive a number of letters, sift through them, and then choose one or two to answer, submitting those answers to the newspaper for publication. But it appears that “Wendy” responds to each letter as it comes to her. Of course, when you receive only three letters a week, it’s not a burdensome job.

  4. C. Sandy Cyst
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    It was an icepick. Not an axe.

  5. tb4000
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Lio: Good show, man.

  6. sporknpork
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Either it’s my eyes, or one of those girls in panel two of Gil Thorp is a centaur.

  7. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MW-Let me tell you about the time I thwarted a kidnapping so I may bask in your praise.

    MT-Beneth that nice guy facade Mark presents to people he is really a bastard. He constantly promises to take a boy(?) fishing and now he has sicked a bear on two people and won’t help them unless they confess to a murder which given the way they tried killing Mark they obviously didn’t do.

  8. Balto
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    GT: Is that supposed to be a little kid, or a ‘little person’? Seems deformed, especially around the face and chin…? And wouldn’t his stilted exclaimation ‘Throw ball’ make more sense if he wasn’t already holding the damned thing?

  9. RavenHawk
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW: Is that Les’ doppleganger? I thought he was going to be climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro?

    Hmmmm, maybe he’s now “astral projecting” his smugness.

  10. Dennis Jimenez
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    FW – Hey, call it Frosty, because this strip frosts my ass….

    GA – Hey, Slim – the silver side goes down, not up….

    GT – How appropriate – the universal sign for Loser….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  11. Dennis Jimenez
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#4): But it gave him a splitting headache, right….

  12. Braniff
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    FC: The melonheads’ rampant act of vandalism continues. This is the third time they demolished the expensive chinaware at the Keane Kompound. They are also suspected of breaking the chinaware (with help from Ida Know, Not Me and Nobody) at the households of the Winslows, the Flagstons, the Cleavers and the Bumsteads.

  13. gleeb
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#4): Actually, it was an ice axe, you know, one of those things people use to climb Alps.

  14. C. Sandy Cyst
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#13): That’s just a fancy-dancy name for an ice pick. If it’s a small curved point, it’s a pick. DEAL WITH IT.

  15. Pozzo
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    “Trotsky! My lack of God; it’s Trotsky!”

  16. bats :[
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#1): Thanks for the explanation. I was already getting steamed, realizing that Les had made a magical reappearance from the wilds of Africa to make an ass-hat comment to Funky. Either than, or time is compressed in Funkyville (kind of like it is in the SF classic Nude on the Moon…the entire trip to the moon, including the 45 minutes that the astronauts intend on being their, will take a grand total of 48 hours. No, I am not making this up.).

    MT: Confess, pursued by a bear.

  17. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#13): Or a snow-capped mountain in Africa.

  18. Hibbleton
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#14):
    Actually, I think it was a “Rocky Stoneaxe.”

  19. RavenHawk
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    RMD: With Special Guest Star, Gary Oldman.

  20. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Not content with being the Specialest Snowflake, Les has now become the Specialest Snowball. When he becomes the Specialest Avalanche, then it will be time to stop reading the funnies.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    GT: To make matters worse, the little boy also defeated him handily in a baseball game!

    GA:
    “Okay. Sorry ’bout that! …..Okay, you work here. I have a problem with….”
    “Nope. Still me again, grandpa!”

    FW: So Les is supposed to be a smug ass, and his hateful expression is actually drawn that way intentionally. So, here, he’s hardly a Specialest Snowflake… but just an insufferable douche.
    Hey, you’re finally catching on, Tommie boy…!

  22. Mibbitmaker
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

    Most comic strips would do this sort of thing as a lazy, week-long theme….

  23. Irrischano
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Even if that guy doesn’t work there, he should at least tell Skeezix that the device he’s gesturing towards is not a DVD player, but his penis.

  24. McManx
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Blondie – Mr. Dithers is going to get flowers to apologize to Cora? Wonder what variety of flower is endowed with the power of speech?

    Gil Thorpe – I think the creepiest thing about today’s panel is that the child to whom Dinny is talking looks like a hideous mutated version of himself.

    Phantom — Two days ago, I declared the Phantom in violation of Jungle Code for throwing a sucker punch. Today, Ghost Who Walks pleads guilty, but with extenuating circumstances.

    Luann — It’s not unnatural, kids, it’s called premature ejaculation.

    Marmaduke — After discovering all the grisly trophies of Marmaduke’s victims, I don’t think I’d be worried about my car keys.

  25. Renee J
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    FW- Les fell off the mountain and now he’s haunting Funky!

    MT- Is that a gun next to your pocket or are you Just happy to watch two people get devoured by a bear?

  26. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    FW: All Gloom is equal, but Les’ Gloom is more equal than others.

    Luann: I guess the “His & Hers” Body-Sprays really DON’T work, huh..

    MT: Total cheese.

    RMMD: “Movie Material”………..kind of like that asshat Michael Patterson’s “Stone Season”, right?

  27. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    GA: Skeezix is wise to consult a customer for help in fixing his DVD player. Those electronic technicians play by their own rules.

  28. The Guardian of the Guilded Boiler
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    There was a punk band named Trotsky Icepick – ’nuff said.

  29. Lenoxus
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Ah, looks like GT’s come to the real scandal! “Jaxon” is no illegitimate toddler, but an adult dwarf with the job of impersonating a child, for Darby’s inscrutable reasons.

  30. Trillian
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT: I won’t say Mark Trail is cold…but Cherry’s back at the cabin trying to thaw the waterbed with a hair dryer!

    A3G: Will we finally solve the debate? Which is more painful, childbirth or kidney stones?

  31. hogenmogen
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Way back when I worked retail, I never thought to diffuse an aggreved customer by claiming that I, too, shared their hellish pain of willingly flipping my hard earned cash over to this inept and uncaring corporate conglomerate. As I was forced to wear a name tag and a cheap-looking red vest, I don’t believe I could have pulled it off. Thank you, Gasoline Alley, though, for giving me a fleeting fantasy of having said “Ah, forget it! It’s not even worth arguing with these imbeciles! I’m leaving!” and the irate customer would unwittingly follow suit, never to darken the hallows of my hardware isle again.

  32. Jasper
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    GT- Two year old son? Those are some adult features he’s developed. He looks to be like an adult little person.

    MW- Dear Jaded,
    There are bad things in the world, but its not all bad. Perhaps you should consider moving to Santa Royale. We have a professional soccer team and when things get boring, we have pool parties (no one actually swims) where I hear there are some kick-ass salmon squares. There is an opening at Charterstone, and I’m pretty sure a soon to be unemployed father and his daughter will be moving out soon.

    I wasn’t aware that advice columnists responded to their advice seekers directly by email. Doesn’t this have to be run by the paper’s editor?

    Thats some great advice, Mary. That’s really going to do it for someone who’s lost all faith in humanity.

    MT- Careful Mark, think this through. That old grizzly is going to maul either Mike Harris or Elizabeth, who will then be implicated by the other in the murder of Elizabeth’s husband and get off with a hand slap. You, on the other hand could have directly prevented this gruesome mauling, but chose not to. That’s a felony, third degree manslaughter. Unlike your cheesy gum wrapper evidence, there is an eye witness to this. You will be sentenced to a prison in the southern part of the state where you are responsible for the incarceration of many of the prison’s hardened criminals. Constipation will not be one of your problems.

  33. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FW: Such is Les’ Specialest Snowflakeness that he can automatically teleport halfway across the globe for the sole purpose of snide more-educated-than-thou remarks.

    GT: Even the toddler thinks he should shut up and get over himself.

  34. hogenmogen
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    GA: Won’t play discs? Have you tried putting in a new needle?

  35. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

  36. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . oral

    I’ma going to bleach my brain now.

  37. Digger
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    I can see why Les would identify with Snowball, as he is also something of a rebellious pig himself. Okay, he’s not actually rebellious, but the rest is true.

  38. Lenoxus
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Say, did anyone else get an RSS post from… the future? Complete with commentary on what are cleamed to be… tomorrow’s comics? But with a link to a page that… doesn’t exist?

    Dun…

    Dun DUN!

  39. Marc
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail- So why is it that the bear is so intent on getting the two nimrods up the tree that he is completely ignoring the even bigger nimrod sitting on the ground 20 feet away? Mark is as easy a target as they come. Unless there is a pact between wildlife and avid environmentalists that the two groups shall never harm one another.

    Mary Worth- Dear Jaded, the world is not all bad. Take me for example. I reunited a kidnapped girl with her parents by staring at a poster and nagging a waitress into stalling them and calling the police. I also reunited lost childhood lovers by suggesting that another miserable, unfortunate haired waitress look on the internet. And don’t forget that time I repeated the same platitutes over and over to a sex loving go-getter with a good job until she was attacked by a drunk and renounced her ways. I am the good in the world.
    Signed,
    Substitue Wendy

    Luann- It felt much more natural for Luann when she was rubbing all that lotion on Tiffany.

    Funky- Isn’t this asshat supposed to be on his way to Africa so can climb then fall off a mountain? Either Les is such a douche that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t stop off to sneer down at Funky before he left or Batiuk can’t write to save his life. Or perhaps both.

    A3G- No, that pain you feel in your side is still the baby. It’s well aware of what a horrible mother you’re going to be so in pre-emptive payback for the miserable childhood it’s going to be forced to endure, the baby is going to do as much damage as possible on the way out.

    BGSS- It would appear that Snuffy has somehow wandered into the Lost Forest. Which lends more proof that not only can he not tell time like he is pretending to do here, but he also has zero sense of direction.

  40. Government Cheese
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MW: I don’t think that Mary is actually typing – she’s perplexed and creeped out that the monitor is actually talking to her. The talking monitor is the source of Wilbur’s success as an advice columnist.

    Luann: So I guess the next day we’ll see them sitting naked saying “well this feels unnatural.”?

  41. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Here is a photo of the alleged Trotsky murder weapon.

    I think Les Moore droped it off of Mount Kilimanjaro and it rolled down the mountain with such velocity that it was flung into space and fell in Mexico and killed Leon Trotsky.

    The way the Funkyverse screws with time this is quite possible.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#145): yes, yes it is. :-) also shows up in quality webcomics.

  43. OMEGA SUPREME
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    The ice pick/ice axe thing is one of history’s greatest mysteries. I’ve heard both from presumably reputable sources. I like to think Trotsky was killed with an ice pick like Morrie in Goodfellas.

    @RavenHawk (#19): RMD: With Special Guest Star, Gary Oldman.

    Well, he couldn’t be any more embarrassed in this than he was in “Lost in Space”.

  44. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#35):
    Your mouseover didn’t talk.

    This is a test, isn’t it.

  45. gleeb
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#14): But with the mountain-climbing aspect, it ties in to Kilimanjaro. See, eventually it’s good writing.

  46. hogenmogen
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Funky: Yes, it is a sad state of affairs in the world of American education that they include a dipshit like Les Moore who constantly critiques grammar and pop-quizzes adults about supporting characters in books that they might have read 40 years ago.

    I named the car “Snowball” because it is white. Duh. Why the holy fuck would I name a car after a fictional Communist pig in a novel written before I was born? Hey, Les, did you name your daughter Summer because of the Don Henly hit from the 80s “The Boys of Summer”? You don’t know what I’m talking about because the question doesn’t make any goddamn sense? Yeah. Welcome to the recieving end of smug bullshit, Les.

  47. Gringo
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    You know, anything to move us along to the part where Les gets killed in Mexico by a guy with an axe.

    I think that’s why everyone conspired to have Les “win” that trip to Kilimanjaro — some guide with a snow axe will eventually get fed up and Trotsky him.

  48. Josh
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

  49. Gringo
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I’m hoping the last panel — “movie material!” — is simply the kickoff to a hilarious Juggs Parker-style outing that ends with Rex tumbling down a cliff into a marijuana patch and being Uzi’d by the cartel.

  50. Jasper
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Dear Wendy,
    I’m a single mother of two boys. Though I work a full time job, we are just eking by. I have a great baby sitter who is very flexible with me, however between my job and getting the boys to the sitter, its a 40 mile commute. My problem is my car. It is old, unreliable and has disappointed me time and again. I’ve given up all hope for this car, can’t afford the constant repairs or a new car, however without it, our lives will come crashing down. I hate to feel that I’m about to be rear-ended.

    Dear rear-ended,
    Automobile ownership can be hard. There are bad cars in the world, but they’re not all bad. Cars do perform well during times of crisis, but also during ordinary times..
    Mary, er I mean Wendy

    ps- Have you considered letting your mechanic or local used car dealer do some rear-ending of their own.

  51. Jim in Wisc.
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Luann: (Jon Lovitz, as Evelyn Quince) “Tonight’s Tale of Ribaldry is a racy, randy bodice-ripper!”

  52. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    9CL: I suppose when your sole artistic function is look like a pin-up girl, dressing in comfortable lounge wear counts as penance. (Also, why is Juliette punishing herself? It’s not like she told Edda to be an indecisive idiot….)

    A3G: To nobody’s surprise, Tommie and Nina have mistaken acute appendicitis for labor.

    Luann: “What happens naturally”-awkwardness, discomfort, and a complete inability to express their feelings. In other words, nothing will change. Except Quill now has justification for telling Tiffany to back off, which he probably won’t because it’s so much more fun to mock and humiliate her.

    MT: Later that day…
    “Hey Mark, Gene Jackson just signed a confession! Turns out he was guilty after all. Guess you never really know, huh?”
    “Yeah, I guess not. Um, completely unrelated, but Al Chavez’s widow just happened to be mauled by a grizzly earlier today…”

    MW: “For example, did I tell you about the time I saved a little girl from being kidnapped? It’s a fascinating story…”

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “I use ‘honesty’ as an excuse for being a total asshat.”

    SM: MJ can’t go anywhere until she’s properly threatened by the villain du jour.

  53. Gringo
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    FW: Actually, what’s a sad comment on the state of the American education system is that Les remains employed as a public school teacher. Of course, he’s been removed from English class and these days is solely focusing on self-esteem class. Guess that makes it a master class.

  54. bats :[
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

  55. Voshkod
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    A mountaineering ice axe, often incorrectly referred to as an “ice pick”,[9] was used in the assassination of Leon Trotsky by Ramón Mercader in Mexico City in 1940.[10]

    [9] Leon Trotsky murder weapon resurfaces in Mexico”. USA Today. 11 July 2005. http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2005-07-11-trotsky-icepick_x.htm. Retrieved 4 May 2010.

    [10] See Robert Conquest, The Great Terror: A Reassessment, Oxford University Press, 1991, ISBN 0-19-507132-8, p.418 for a detailed account

    If you can’t trust Wiki, who can you trust? Though I feel like I should throw a [citation needed] in there for Josh.

  56. Little Blue Bicycle
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    FW: Eventually Batiuk will erase all of the other characters until only Les and his Lenin beard are left.

  57. Cloudbuster
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): “…why is Juliette punishing herself?” She has once again been reminded that she is responsible for bringing Edda into this world.

  58. Dood
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    FW: Four smirks good, two smirks bad, Komrade Pizza Bourgeoisie.

  59. UncleJeff
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    DT: Did we ever find out if the police chief shot Lt. Teevo or did Teevo shoot the chief?
    And who is this “Mushroom Lady” who is suddenly being nostalgic with Panda about their “first gang” experience?

  60. Jasper
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#34):
    Have you tried rewinding it?

  61. Dood
    June 29th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    FW: In Soviet Westview, cars name you.

  62. Holly Folly
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    It’s a white car. Why on earth would the first thing to pop into your mind upon hearing it is to be named Snowball is animal farm? Is there a dead pig in the trunk I should know about?

  63. Jim North
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    BB: Or a 5! A 4! 3! 2! 1! KABOOM!

    FC: A fascinating look into the frayed life of adult Jeffy, current writer and artist of Family Circus. Being a sibling of the torturous and overbearing Billy and Dolly smashed his poor psyche, and the only way he knows to try to pick up the pieces is to continue doling out comics of the melonheads on a daily basis, forever trapped within the family circus of his own mind.

    H&J: Ah, the good ol’ phone-slam. Let’s the person on the other end know you mean business and ain’t gonna take their shit no more. Truthfully, I’m not actually sure that the person on the other end can actually hear you slamming down the phone, as I have never been on the receiving end of such a slam. But there is something very satisfying about it anyway, and I am a firm believer that cordless phones and cellphones should all be equipped with a slammer button, which ends the call with a nice little slam that’s audible on both ends.

    Oh, right. Herb & Jamaal. Herb made a stupid joke that no one would laugh at even if they could hear it, which they can’t because he only thought it. I’m sure there’s some snark to be had about that!

    JP: “Avery’s not here, man!”

    Luann: This porno sucks. I should really pay to get one of the other channels unscrambled.

    MW: “Dear Wendy, people suck. Sincerely, Jaded.” “Dear Jaded, no they don’t. Sincerely, Wendy.”

  64. catondan
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FW: Hey, I thought the pig in that book was named Wilbur, not Snowball and I …nevermind

  65. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    FW: Funky thought Animal Farm was a book about the Muppet drummer trying his hand at agriculture.

  66. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

  67. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”He is being nice to Jaxon so he can get into your pants.”

    JP-Avery is going to fly back up the hill to Sam.

  68. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    GT: Jaxon looks more like “Mr. Big” than Dinny does.

    FW: Is this a flashback, or is it yet another time jump (to a time after Summer’s funeral following the ill-fated Kilimanjaro ascent), or is it just further proof that you can never really leave Westview? The plane to Africa just circles the airport and lands again, and you think you’ve been somewhere. You’ll be here all your life, and your children too will all grow up to teach at Westview H.S. and serve pizza at Montoni’s. It’s Castrovalva, I tell you.

  69. Doug Puthoff
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Amessing Spider-Man: This is getting boring! Cut to the chase: Peter whining at the TV!

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#44): the irony of that is, the mouseover was supposed to be “hey you kids, get off my lawn!!”

    ROFLs

  71. Gringo
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Luann: “Well, this feels unnatural”: Quill tries to gently break it to Luann that Gunther is more his type …

  72. Gringo
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#68): The plane to Africa just circles the airport and lands again, and you think you’ve been somewhere.

    I think what really happened is that the Ghost of Saint Lisa called Les on the courtesy phone again and warned him not to get on that plane. Then he hung out at the airport for a couple of days for appearance’s sake, and came home to smug it up over everyone again.

  73. Ned Ryerson
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Dear Wendy,

    My name is Tommy. I am fourteen. My geometry teacher,
    Mrs. Simmons is hella sexy and I’d really like to have
    sex with her in the back of a car. It’d be extra hot
    and freaky if we could get our freak on while my
    cousin drove us around town and took pictures of us.
    Also, I’d like to get Mrs. Simmons to drive me over to
    her townhouse after school and give me oral while I
    eat chinese food on her couch. Did I mention that Mrs.
    Simmons is hella sexy? She is. She’s way sexier than
    that “Hot for Teacher” teacher down in Tampa. Mrs.
    Simmons is about 55 and she wears her hair up in a bun
    and she has these sweet half glasses on a funky chain
    and I totally get a stiffie when she starts explaining
    sines and cosines. I watched her get out of her Yugo
    in the parking lot once, and the way the springs
    creaked as she lifted her 400 lb. hot body out of the
    driver’s seat made me want to….well, I think you get
    the picture Frosty. I know there’s some wild sexual
    chemistry between us. She’s always drawing smiley
    faces on my pop quizzes and stuff. Should I go for it
    Wendy?

    Dear Tommy,
    While I completely understand the powerful sexual
    urges experienced by boys of your age, I feel it would
    irresponsible of me to endorse a liason between you
    and Mrs. Simmons. Tommy, your body is a throbbing mass
    of powerful hormonal confusion right now, and to act
    out sexually at this point is not in the best
    interests of your long term development. Also, sex in
    the back seat of a Yugo with a 400 pound,
    post-menopausal woman is a near geometric
    impossibility, as I’m sure Mrs. Simmons would agree.

    Wendy

  74. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    FW – Hey, Animal Farm is a great read, an insightful parable about government and how it always, at root, is people (or pigs) exercising power over others. I still have a copy on my bookshelf

    Having said that … the copy on my bookshelf is old and yellowed, because like most Americans I read it as part of a High School English curriculum. Bragging about how edumacated you are based on having attended the 11th Grade is a little like keeping your “Most Improved Trier” trophy from elementary school. Yeah, that’s great, but the people who might be impressed by that aren’t the people who would be impressed by educational achievements in the first place.

  75. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    FW-Say, Les, this is a pleasant surprise. I thought you would be dead in Africa by now. How was your African adventure?

  76. Ned Ryerson
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#73): Yeah, I know it says Frosty when it should say Wendy. That should teach me to recycle old material. (This was published in the ultra rare periodical Oinky Pig in the Ask Frosty the Snowman advice column. Most known copies are in some guy’s file cabinet under a bunch of broken computer equipment)

  77. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

  78. Doug Puthoff
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Lio–Touching strip, but I’m worried the squid–or whatever it is–will go back to its mother tomorrow. I thought that squid had the potential to be the Garfield. Sell, sell, sell.

  79. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#36): No, I like it. I was wondering yesterday, but now I’m sure. “Love is…” has finally, after 42 years, run out of squishy cute things to say, and is now down to dental visits. Praise Cthulhu! Next: “Love is… finding a replacement carburetor for your ’74 Super Beetle in the junkyard for five dollars!”

    // Yes, “Love is…” and “Pluggers” finally merge. The Singularity is Now.

  80. Lawyerbob
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    FW: If Funky is Stalin, will he use Montoni’s to springboard himself to totalitarian rule over this town whose name I thankfully can’t remember? Will he then have countless residents killed and countless more sent into exile in some Ohio wilderness, all the while forcing unquestioning obedience to his every whim? God, I hope so.

    GT: I’ve finally figured it out. Milford is actually a refuge for mutants, like the girl in panel one with the freakishly huge hand and the giant and dwarf in panel two.

  81. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#66): Hee! That basset face had me laughing out loud!

  82. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Luann – So, after declaring that you didn’t really come over to record a song together, after being shown into her room and told that she wants to be more than friends, and then being told to do what comes naturally, you … sit and stare into space. Maybe if you excused yourself and sat in the closet it would feel more normal?

    This scene makes Mark Ratner from Fast Times at Ridgemont High look like a player by comparison.

  83. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#74): I taught the book, more than once, in my secondary-ed days, and the main specific thing I remember is that I cried over Boxer, every time.

  84. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley-”I’m telling everybody.”

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#79): the last two days have been really, really creepy. Yesterday my first thought was “taking the kids to the Swing Club for the first time” and they went down the gutter from there. Then we have today’s.

    *shudder*

  86. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Lawyerbob (#80): “If Funky is Stalin, will he use Montoni’s to springboard himself to totalitarian rule over this town …?”

    Nah. He won’t have a Snowball’s chance in Mexico.

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#81): me too! basset pups are the bestest. :-)

  88. Mibbitmaker
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: And by “other pain”, she means her husband (and how!)

    9CL: Edda’s expression? The whole universe is looking at Edda exactly that way right now.

    JP: “Everything’s good!” Everything’s always good! BAH! JP is FW’s exact opposite, and just as insufferable.

    Luann: In a convent, maybe!

    MT: Hey, great positioning of the rifle there, Trail! Just being a dick as always. And he’s the good guy in all of this.

    ZtP: Minus the “Fun”.

    FC: Cue the Average White Band.

    MW: Reply: “Dear Wendy — Okay, I’m no longer jaded and near suicidal. Now I’m just bored.

    N-S: The rest of the time, this guy provides results from studies.

    Glibporn: “Devoid of pretense”? “Integrity”? — Oh, right, the polar opposite of YOU, Brooke!
    Also, Brookie makes even critiquing politicians boring! Brooke McEldowney: ruining political satire for everybody.

    Popeye: Oh, I get it: WE’re supposed to be the ones shooting ?s out of our craniums now!

    RMMD: Oh, goody, we’re back to THAT again! Just one of your strips like that is already too much as it is, Woody!

  89. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#83): I haven’t read Animal Farm in over 45 years but when I hear the book mentioned I always think first of Boxer’s fate and I am saddened.

  90. Illustrator Steve
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Dear Wendy,
    For many years I thought the Mark Trail comic strip was being written by a five year old but I was wrong. After much investigating by taking the matter into my own hands by paddling many rivers with my own hands, (no paddle, just my hands), plus hiking extensively throughout the southern part of the state and checking my area I have finally dicovered the truth. As it turns out these crappy Mark Trail stories are actually being written by a silly little dog with attention deficit disorder who goes by the name of Sassy! I cannot help but feel cheated after so many years of leaving so many comments about an idiot named Jackelrod who, as it turns out, never even existed! Besides the fact you will inevidibly tell me the solution is for me to get a life and simply stop reading stupid comic strips, WHAT else do you suggest I do?

    Please advise,
    signed; Off the trail

    PS: You should also know that before I started reading MarkTrail comic strips I had always assumed that, at least in my head, I was very popular in my community, but since reading this stuff I have come to discover that I am not even very popular with myself!

  91. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#85): Continuing Dental Week at “Love is…” -

    - Love is… when your dentist, who looks a lot like the elderly Lawrence Olivier, continually asks you, “Is is safe?”

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    I’m glad that Funky didn’t get a motorcycle instead of a car. You know the saying, “Four wheels good, two wheels bad.”

  93. Esther Blodgett
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Love Is…a grown man giving a teddy bear to a little naked boy. Boy, did I have it wrong all these years or what?

    FW: Yay, Les is dying on Mt. Kilimanjaro, and he’s projected his spirit back to Westview to make one last douchey comment to Funky!

    Luann: For unnatural carnal knowledge. Seems about right.

  94. TomS
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Rose is Rose: Innocent merriment, now & then, dropping acid.

  95. This Guy
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    I’ll always remember the chilling final scene of Funky Winkerbean in which the elderly Cayla looks through the window at Les and Funky dining with the tumors–and she can’t tell the difference between them.

  96. Lynn
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    FW: Evidently the guys at the scrap yard let Les out of the trunk before they compacted Funky’s old car. Damn.

    Luann: I guess I’m the only sicko who looked at what was between Quill’s hands in panel 2. That’s his shirt tail, I hope?

  97. Santa Royale With Cheese
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    FW: Somewhere en route to Africa, Les is taking to alt-Funky about what he named his luggage.

  98. Girl Reporter
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    He came back to return the socks. Unfortunately, the receipt is in Funky’s old car.

  99. Lynn
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    98, Girl Reporter: good one, Miss Starr!

  100. Here come the Judge
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Lynn (#96):

    Yeah, no wonder it feels unnatural… Quill, you’re supposed to do that alone! Man, those Aussies sure have some different ways of doing things…

  101. Ranger
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Is it wrong that I misread Josh’s first line about Les as ‘goatseed’?

  102. Horace Broon
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    ASM: Given that hissy-fit he went off in, you could have a long wait.

    FW: Les is more like Benjamin the donkey: smart enough to see how bad things are, but too depressive and cynical to do anything about it.

    GT: So what do we think, another week of Dinny hanging out with Jaxon, just to make it totally clear that unlike that cad Bobby he really does care about the mutant tyke and isn’t just trying to get into Darby’s pants, and then he gets into Darby’s pants?

    JP: “Everything’s good … Everything in, like, the whole universe, is gooooood, man.”

    MW: “I sent Dear Wendy a letter that didn’t explain what my actual problem was, and she replied that people are capable of good things! Now I know I should stay with the guy who cheated on me!”

    Phantom: So why weren’t you wearing the wrestling outfit?

    S4th: If Ted was there, he’d point out that Body Snatcher-types go for small towns, so they can replace the entire population before anyone notices.

  103. Danel
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#4):

    I always remember it as an ice pick due to the way a kid in my history class once genuinely believed it meant a pick made out of ice: “But Mexico is hot. Wouldn’t it have melted?”

    Gasoline Alley made me remember TDIET. I’ve been confused for someone who works in a store in a whole bunch of times, just because I like to dress nicely.

  104. Lynn
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    102, re: Phantom, the wrestling outfit wouldn’t have fooled the guy. Remember, Vincenze and Ernesto have spent many an hour in one another’s arms. (Wrestling – what did you think?) I’d think he’d notice the difference if he wrestled with the Phantom.

  105. Illustrator Steve
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT – They say in order to wake up you must first fall asleep. My only remaining hope for Mark Trail to FINALLY ever wake up is for that loaded rifle with it’s hair trigger to go off after he drifts off to sleep!

  106. DownInTheValley
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    GT: “Creepthetic”? I’d go with “patheepy”…rhymes with “weepy.”

  107. enthrall
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Now my horror is complete: Jaxon turns out to be Peter Dinklage wearing “generic adult head #4 – face in the crowd at a basketball game” in profile.

  108. greghousesgf
    June 29th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @McManx (#24): maybe he’ll give her Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors and they’ll all get eaten!

  109. Sultrolevi
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#y240):

    “I once saw a production of Don Giovanni in English translation. The line I’ll never forget is when the statue came to life, Don Giovanni dramatically intoned “This is more than I expected!” ”

    It was funnier in the original Esperanto.

  110. Marc
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): 9CL: She’s punishing herself for raising such an indecisive idiot.

  111. Shrug
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Holly Folly (#62):

    “It’s a white car. Why on earth would the first thing to pop into your mind upon hearing it is to be named Snowball is animal farm?”

    Les didn’t think about balls of compacted snow as being white, because in Westview the rampant pollution that causes everyone to have cancer also means the snowfall is a sickly grayish-yellow color. He would have made the connection if Funky had acquired a car of that color and named it Sicklygrayishyellowball.

    It’s called writing.

  112. Snarkotix Addict
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#39): A3G- No, that pain you feel in your side is still the baby. It’s well aware of what a horrible mother you’re going to be so in pre-emptive payback for the miserable childhood it’s going to be forced to endure, the baby is going to do as much damage as possible on the way out.

    That baby is trying to claw its way out through Nina’s ribs because… it follows its own rules, not ours!

  113. Kremlin Spider
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @catondan (#64):

    “FW: Hey, I thought the pig in that book was named Wilbur, not Snowball and I …nevermind”

    !!!!! *S*O*M*E C*O*M*M*I*E !!!!!!

  114. Shrug
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#83):

    “I taught the book, more than once, in my secondary-ed days, and the main specific thing I remember is that I cried over Boxer, every time.”

    Yes, especially the scene where Boxer is being driven off in the knackers’ van when a drunk driver hits the van and Boxer has to have three of his legs amputated and settle for a job as a bandleader.

    I may be misremembering a few details.

  115. Marc
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#112): A rebel playing by nobody’s rules but it’s own eh? I’d say like mother like daughter, but we really don’t know what that thing inside her actually is.

  116. Snarkotix Addict
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS Hey, that Grizzly gets around. From the Southern Part of the State to Hootin’ Holler in the mountainous Northern Part of the State in one day.

    CS Bad news. Crankshaft has nine lives.
    Good news. Pam is feeding him cat food.

    FC Who dressed this child?

    MW “Dear Wendy,
    What?! That’s just a bunch of BS!
    I liked you better when you gave me sandwich recipes.
    Sincerely,
    Jaded

  117. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    FW-Les, I hate to pop your smug pretentious bubble we went to the same school at the same time.

  118. Snarkotix Addict
    June 29th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#115): … but we really don’t know what that thing inside her actually is.

    A carnivore, I hope.

  119. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – Phrase of the day: “full-frontal weird.”

    A3G – “That’s just gas, Nina.”

    Bizarro – I bet someone gets letters about this.

    DT – You know, if I were planning a defense, I’d maybe put the giant man-eating plants between you and the cops. Just a thought.

    FW – I was trying to figure out why Les refers to Snowball as merely “the rebellious pig,” rather than something more suitably villainous – indeed, not even referring to the pigs in general as villains. Then I realized that Les probably doesn’t think of the pigs, being Intellectuals, as the villains of the piece. To him, Animal Farm is probably the story of a group of Educated Persons taking their rightful place at the head of a tragically ungrateful mob of working-class schmoes who would probably prefer Spamalot! to a play about cancer, the beefwits! Maybe he thinks Snowball really should have been the one to take over, rather than Napoleon. “Oh, Snowball!” he cries to himself, when he gets to a certain point in the book, “the windmill could have worked! It really could have worked!”

    JP – “Shall I call the governor and get you airlifted?” “No, no, just send down a a team of slaves with a litter, will you?”

    Luann – *VOMIT*

    Mandrake – Nice mullet there, MacGyver.

    MT – I’d love to see the court where this is admissible evidence.

    MW – Mary makes a momentous discovery: with email, you can ramble on for as long as you want, and the other person can’t leave before you’ve finished!

    Phantom – Yeah, it kinda would’ve, wouldn’t it? Though your odds would’ve been better if you, you know, were dressed anything like the guy you were impersonating.

    RMMD – Say, isn’t that Mr. Raditch from Degrassi Junior High?

    SF – This one strip is about eleven thousand times sweeter and more romantic than the entirety of Liz-Anthony and Amos-Edda put together.

  120. terrapin
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): I’d read that.

  121. Snarkotix Addict
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann Whatever comes naturally. Panel 2, Quill seems to be starting with what is natural for him. Both hands – I must say that I’m impressed. Panel 3, Quill waits, stalls, hoping Luann will get the hint and leave him alone. Alone with his hands. Panel 4, Quill slyly implies that Luann is a buzzkill.

  122. terrapin
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger (#101): Oh, that just conjured up all sorts of horrible images!

  123. RavenHawk
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

  124. Bill Peschel
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    I find it amusing that I’m reading a lot more informed comment on “Animal Farm” than I expected, on a site like this. Would’ve wiped the smirk off Less’ face.

    (And, yes, I was deeply impressed with AF back in the day as well, and the teacher’s comment that you can’t have a power hierarchy in a society in which everyone is supposed to be equal.)

  125. Shrug
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#124):

    “Would’ve wiped the smirk off Less’ face.”

    I think that would take a jackhammer.

    But I’m willing to try it with a mere ice axe. . .

  126. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    FC-Sounds like Dolly has a good plan for her murder clean up business.

  127. Liam
    June 29th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley-Skeezix, stop throwing gang signs around. This is a nice clean mom and pop business.

    Gil Thorp-”Throw ball. Jaxon tired of hearing about your self pity. You like shoe salesman who talks about scoring four touchdowns in a single game.”

  128. Illustrator Steve
    June 29th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#119): “MT – I’d love to see the court where this is admissible evidence.”

    It’s the Jackelrod County Courthouse located SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE. According to Google ™ it’s the only court in THE NORTHERN PART OF THE HEMISPHERE that accepts laws allowing anyone with less than half a brain to decide for themselves that they are official crime scene investigators, murder suspect interrogators and vigilantes. The Jackelrod County Courthouse bylaws also allow items such as water logged gum wrappers and contaminated crime scenes to be submitted into evidence. Plus, in the Jackelrod County Prison you can hang out with your pal in his prison cell with total privacy anytime you feel like it!

  129. bats :[
    June 29th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Is the perspective askew in 9CL? I thought Edda and Juliette were about the same size — Juliette looks much more petite than Edda as they both sit on the couch (and I can’t imagine a primadonna ballerina like Edda massing that much).

    Or is Juliette slowly shrinking into her new role as a female Pap?

  130. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 29th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#128):

    “the only court in THE NORTHERN PART OF THE HEMISPHERE that accepts laws allowing anyone with less than half a brain to decide for themselves that they are official crime scene investigators, murder suspect interrogators and vigilantes. ”

    Just be careful, the prosecutor is a sly fox who plays by his own rules.

  131. Illustrator Steve
    June 29th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Mark is called to testify at the Jackelrod County Courthouse)

    “Mister Trail, I believe you have something you would like to submit to this court?”

    “Yes, you Honor. This mason jars filled with fresh beet and cabage preserves that Cherry just finished canning. I hope you consider them for the blue ribbon, your honor!”

    “Mister Trail, you are as inept as ever. You want the Jackelrod County Fairgrounds for those preserves. NOT the Jackelrod County Courthouse, you IDIOT!”

    “Yes, your Honor. Then I guess submitting this old soggy gum wrapper would also be out of the question!”

    “Mister Trail, Is that soggy gum wrapper by any remote chance the type people chew to try and quit smoking?”

    “Why yes, your Honor. Yes it is!”

    “The court finds Mike Harris GUILTY of the murder of Al Chavez! COURT DISMISSED!”

  132. McManx
    June 29th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#108): “Feed me Seymore, er uh Julius!”

  133. Alter Ego
    June 29th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#85):

    “taking the kids to the Swing Club for the first time”

    I’m glad that one wasn’t lost to posterity!

  134. baron
    June 29th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    I like to think Funky named his car Snowball after his favorite sex act. Retcon origin for his nickname?

  135. Alison
    June 29th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: How is it helpful to tell someone who has been let down by people over and over that people are good? This has obviously not been “Jaded”‘s experience. Mary’s response is basically blaming the victim. “Well, Jaded, it sounds like YOU have been hanging around with a bunch of jerks, since most people are good.” Yeah, thanks so much, Wendy.

    “Luann”: Seeing Luann and Quill face-to-face makes me realize how odd it is that Luann is drawn very cartoonish-ly, while Quill isn’t. Quill’s features are normal-sized, while Luann has big googly eyeballs and a round nose. Was it always this way? Reminds me of FOOB and how Elly Patterson’s nose started out looking normal-sized, and by the end of the strip looked like an eggplant.

  136. jnoble
    June 29th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Luann: This is the Luann Universe, Quill. Sly references to sex building up to a non-payoff is quite normal. No one in this stupid strip ever gets any, even the local high school whore.

  137. hypochrismutreefuzz
    June 29th, 2012 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Hmmm. Wasn’t Snowball a castrated pig? If memory serves, which it doesn’t, but I don’t have the will to go look it up.

  138. Snarkotix Addict
    June 29th, 2012 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @jnoble (#136): No one in this stupid strip ever gets any, even the local high school whore.

    Gunther?

  139. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 29th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @jnoble (#136):

    Even the town bicycle has rust in her spokes….

  140. Dennis
    June 29th, 2012 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    FW: I think I can explain why Les is somehow back in Ohio so soon. You see on The Smurfs when Brainy Smurf would act like a smug pedantic little trouserstain the rest of the Smurfs would literally pick him up and throw him out of the village. I’m guessing that’s what the people in Africa did when they got sick of Les and his specialest snowflake.

  141. demoncat
    June 29th, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    fw. seems Less survived his climb fast and is back taking advantage of funky slow metal decay that or this is all a dream as less is dieing on the mountain. gt. darby is trying to get over the shock that not only is dinny taking time to be with jaxon some more but also wondering is she should start looking at a restraining order on him.

  142. National Cheese Week
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    As the old story goes, from early 1940:

    Comrade Minister of Defense: “Comrade Stalin, how are we ever going to defeat Hitler?”
    Comrade Stalin: “Don’t ax me; ax Trotsky.”

    So they did.

  143. Sgt. Stoned
    June 29th, 2012 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    MT:p2 “The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman”.

  144. A Mindful Webworker
    June 30th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Thank goodness Baron went there, so I don’t have to!

Comments are closed for this post.