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Saturday quickies

Archie, 7/21/12

Whenever a pretty girl walks by, Archie is so consumed by lust that he can’t even feel, say, a weed-whacker cable tearing into the flesh of his shin.

Spider-Man, 7/21/12

Haha, Spider-Man is super-worried that Clown-9 is bent on revenge against MJ’s dumb unwatchable play, when really he just wants to steal money and get drunk like a normal person.

Ziggy, 7/21/12

Ziggy’s plan to shame-binge on fun meals has been foiled.

Apartment 3-G, 7/21/12

“Gasp!! They know my real name! I’m going to have to kill all of them!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/21/12

Oh, the Morgans have more than $10,000 in “bug-out money” just lying around the house, by the way.

283 responses to “Saturday quickies”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    DT — The villainous Pruneface was a Nazi agent* during WWII. Could the new Woman of Mystery be his granddaughter, “Prunella”?

    *His code name was “Boche” — the French derogatory term for “German”!

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    9CL — Mary Rosenzweig decides to take her obsession with the late George “Goober” Lindsey to the next level.

    A&J — After fleeing from the prospect of yet another sexual liaison with Arlo, Janis escapes into the arms of a good… book.

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    A3G: Its been said before, but its good to see Nina up on her feet walking around so soon after giving birth. That is, immediately soon after. And, thanks to the waist-up style A3G provides us, we don’t have to see all the afterbirth that she’s trailing around the apartment.

  4. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Show of hands – who thinks Clown-9 should skip the theater scene and just rob the Morgans?

  5. skeltometer
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

  6. Baka Gaijin
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    The captain’s final speech balloon was truncated. The full text was “We’re going to have to evacuate everyone but that mopey bowl-haired chick. The contact depression will cause the other passengers to grab heavy things before they jump overboard and increase the body count unnecessarily.

  7. Señor Tortilla
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]


    9CL: You’re still a loser, Amos, don’t worry.

    H&L: “Well, as it turns out, we’re out of ice cream. How does a microbrew sound?”

    RMMD: June could make for a good Chell cosplay (Portal 1), but her anatomy…

  8. Baka Gaijin
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Rocky Stoneaxe @#2 on Arlo and Janis: I’d thought she wanted to give her overused vagina a rest. She left a warm cherry pie in the kitchen for Arlo [wink, wink].

  9. Baka Gaijin
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Rocky Stoneaxe @#2 on Arlo and Janis: I’d thought she wanted to give her overused vagina a rest. She left a warm cherry pie in the kitchen for Arlo. An American pie. [wink, wink]

  10. Baka Gaijin
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Sorry for the duplicate post. The Internet here is spastic today.

    So who thinks Mrs. Worth will float up in a big yellow WWII surplus raft carrying a tray of salmon squares and mayo-on-white sandwiches?

  11. Davey
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    MW: It seems that Karen Moy didn’t do her research into the Costa Concordia incident. The captain isn’t supposed to make a quick, rational decision to evacuate his passengers; he’s supposed to dither about for an hour, then jump into a lifeboat with half the passengers still on-board, and then spend about ten minutes having “Vada a bordo, cazzo!!” screamed at him by an angry coastguard.

    Then again, considering that the captain resembles Edward Smith, the captain of the Titanic far more than he does Francesco Schettino, maybe this is Moy doing a “What if the Costa Concordia and the Titanic swapped captains?” scenario.

  12. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    MW: The reanimated corpse of Edward Smith looks on in horror as history repeats itself. Hope you brought enough life boats this time, buddy boy.

    Funky Winkerbean: “Which is why I decided to leave her outside in freezing temperatures to die of exposure! Look, there’s already a bird waiting to feast on her tiny, adorable carcass.”

  13. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    ….and Davey beat me to the Edward Smith punch while I was trying to identify what kind of bird was in Funky Winkerbean, with no luck. Curse you, Batiuk!

  14. Droopy Says
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Spiderzero: You’d think Jameson would want to cut a deal with Asi9. “You want money? I’ll make you as wealthy! Keep humiliating Spiderman and supply me with photographs! It’s the same deal I have with that layabout Peter Parker, who for some reason only gives me flattering shots of Spiderman and was nowhere to be seen when you trounced Spiderman last night!”

  15. odinthor
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    In an analytical mood . . .

    H&J. — Whereas if you, Yolanda, had lost, you’d have done exactly what?—considering the fact that, as a winner, your code of behavior deems it desirable to humiliate the loser… And could it be that your penchant for humiliating your opponents is exactly what prompts them to try to evade responsibility for the loss?

    MW. — Doesn’t “we’ve lost control” usually imply that some dynamic force usually under “our” control is now furiously mastur doing things not directed by “us”? Wouldn’t the normal assessment of the results of a flooded engine room be along the lines of “Gasp! She’s dead in the water”? And doesn’t the officer realize that an unsecured tie can lead to pernicious mischief? Oh the humanity!

    FC. — Years later, in therapy, Jeffy would realize that Dolly’s unthinking statement was what led him to search for a husband for the rest of his life. After all, no man wants to be a single mother.

  16. tb4000
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    9CL: I reiterate, why does every woman, and some men, in this strip find Amos hot?

  17. Cloudbuster
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: As I am only familiar with the motivations and actions of humans, and have to struggle to intuit those of the beings that inhabit the world of Chickweed Lane, it’s difficult for me to predict what will happen. Naturally, being human, I wish for the course of action that will bring the most pain and suffering possible to Edda.

    If Amos were human, I could foresee him leaving Edda for Mary because Edda is psychotically unstable and self-absorbed, and he is only now realizing how his entire life has been a web of passive subservience to her unreasonable whims and active enablement of her pathologies. But, Amos not being human, probably all that has really happened is that Diane’s speech confused him. After Amos’ antics have provided enough fodder for Edda’s hysterics and enabled her to firmly cement herself as the center of the universe, someone will explain to him that he’s an idiot and that of course he loves Edda. Because, of course.

    RMMD: The idea that the Morgans have more than 10k cash in “bug-out” money fascinates me. At what point do we expect their nefarious criminal enterprise to be exposed, forcing them to “bug-out” to Costa Rica?

    Luann: Tiffany, excited about meaningful opportunities to pursue her dreams. What a loser, eh?

  18. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: Eh, I wouldn’t worry too much about the tokenly Jewish interloper, Seth. She’s not showing nearly enough leg for McEldowney to masturbate to write as anyone’s soul mate.

    Luann: [approximation of the average GoComics commenter] Yeah, Tiffany, what a loser! Winners don’t brush themselves off after a disappointment, ready to sieze the next opportunity that comes their way. Winners spend months stringing along their non-boyfriend, never venturing beyond the comfort of the status quo, only to sulk for weeks after he leaves. Go Luann! [/seriously, Greg Evans, get help]

  19. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#16):

    I think it could have something to do with his charming use of terms such as “goober”. Read his dialogue with a nasally voice and a snort after he says “goober” and you will see his appeal.

  20. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#17): “Naturally, being human, I wish for the course of action that will bring the most pain and suffering possible to Edda.”

    I like the way you think, sir.

  21. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Okay, who called it on the baby name? Anyone who picked “Margo,” please step to the side for public shaming as false prophets. Those who picked “Nina’s mom’s name” and “Abigail/Tommie,” please step to the side for public shaming as unbearable dweebs.

    Meanwhile, whoah, that last Rex Morgan is sinister. Makes me think Rex was the fight doctor in Pulp Fiction.

  22. Cloudbuster
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MW: “There’s water! There’s water!” Um, of course there’s water. You’re in the middle of the mediterranean. You’re only now noticing this? Oh! You mean, “There’s water in the engine room!” A crisis is no time to get sloppy with your language. Which is obviously English. Are there any Italians on this cruise?

  23. BigTed
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    The film-noir close-up of Rex’s furious yet cold-eyed expression in the last panel suggests that he doesn’t really want to turn over that ten grand — and that he’ll do anything, not short of murdering a would-be screenwriter, to get it back.

  24. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#16): Do you want an in-strip explanation, or a meta-strip explanation? If the latter, it’s simple: he’s an author-avatar. If the former, I have no good idea. He’s… inoffensive? Plays a musical instrument? Edda likes him?

  25. Holly Folly
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Archie’s love of girls is powerful it literally removes the background to his world. That has to get awkward on dates.

  26. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#24): Ah, no, simpler explanation. He’s the only male creature in the strip other than Thorax who’s not (a) gay, (b) claimed already by a Burber (so far), or (c) both. Given a choice between Thorax and Amos, which would you choose?

  27. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Frazz: beans, beans, the mystic legume . . .

    Dilbert: Outleak happens that way.

    Luann: perky breast powers ACTIVATE!!!!

    Speed Bump Is . . . fisting.

    GT: Let’s Go RED WINGS!!!

    JP: *plot falls into place* Bubba was the one who saw Avery in the ganja patch.

    Pluggers: close enough. Not a plugger.

    SFx: more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

    F-: the fate of Cartman.

    Retail: Lunker is spending that bonus cash from his guest-starring stint in Luann.

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .that floating post-O feeling. (and for once, I “heart”-ily agree!)

  29. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Ziggy-Except for you, Ziggy. You don’t get any Fun Meals. We don’t want you to have fun.

    A3G-Abigail would have been the name of Tommie’s daughter if it wasn’t for the abortion.

    JP-Don’t worry we will soon be feasting on city boys for dinner.

    MT-Andy by wildlife people I mean Mark whenever he gets home from helping his bestest fishing buddy Frodo get rid of a ring or is he helping his bestest fishing buddy Michael getting rid of a Fredo. Apparently Mark is the only who can do anything around.

    MW-Of course there is water. You’re on a ship in the middle of the Mediterranean. What do you think would be there a vast trackless expanse of sand.

    RMMD-It’s our bug out money for when the threats of malpractice suits get to be too much and we have to leave town and create new identities.

    Slylock Fox-Look it’s a barrel full of monkeys and yet I am not having any fun.

  30. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    A3G-You’ll have to wait till Monday to ask her because tomorrow we have to go through this whole nonsense again.

  31. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    If this Alley Oop storyline ends with Yochi coming out of the closet to his parents, I am going to be very disappointed.

  32. TheDiva
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: Don’t act so flattered, Tommie. “(What is) Abigail” was the answer to Final Jeopardy a couple nights ago, and the name just stuck.

    SM: Why do people in superhero stories even bother with fancy parties anymore? They must know by now it’s an open invitation for the villain du jour to crash and create a havoc…

  33. John C Fremont
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#27):
    “Where, oh, where is sweet little Avery?
    Way down yonder in the ganja patch.”

    MW – “Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink.”

    Uh, your tie is tilting in the wrong direction, sailor. Remember, gravity is a harsh mistress. Giggity.

  34. Little Blue Bicycle
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Gasp! Nina knows about my Abigail Adams fetish! She must remember the ladies! Send pins, John. Pins. Saltpeter!”

  35. aprilglaspie
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

  36. Gringo
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @stopdropreload (#13): trying to identify what kind of bird was in Funky Winkerbean

    This being Funky, it’s obviously the Blackbird of Unhappiness.

  37. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

  38. TheDiva
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Now I think you’re a creepy, unstable, emotionally immature whackjob who never evolved past the fourth grade and who should be castrated for the good of society. Now never come within three hundred feet of me ever again.”

    C’shaft: It’s Hans, the loveable Nazi on the team!

    FW: Does Owen know you stole his hat?

    GT: “Which is kind of a dickish present, when you think about it, since it’s extremely difficult to use with only one hand.”

    Luann: Ha-ha, that Tiffany! Always refusing to dwell on disappointment and pursuing her ambitions in spite of it. What a dumb loser!

    MW: The officer is surprised by the presence of water on a cruise ship, but his shipmate’s ability to transform from the Cracker Jack mascot into a Delta Airlines pilot doesn’t even cause him to bat an eye.

  39. Gringo
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    MW: “My God! We’re going to have to evacuate everyone!”

    No worries, Captain. By the looks on their faces, I think everyone’s already evacuated themselves, if you get my drift.

  40. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    FC-It was that point Jeffy realized he was a woman trapped in a melon head’s body.

  41. Clowns 1 through 8
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    “…Clown-9 is bent on revenge against MJ’s dumb unwatchable play … really he just wants to steal money and get drunk like a normal person.”

    It used to be about the rare art of misguided and utterly ineffectual vengeance, man, and now it’s all about bucks and booze? What happened to you, bro? You used to be fucking beautiful!

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    I got Chinese take-out for dinner last night. The fortunes were as follows:

    QG: “You would do well to work as a team in the coming week.”

    me: “Versatility is one of your outstanding traits.”

    applying the “in bed!” theory, it seems we’re supposed to be having “fun with guests” this week. o_O

  43. Dan
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Is there some sort of backstory where a woman named Abigail winds up with the nickname Tommie? Is it because, for the first several years they knew her, Margo and Lu Ann assumed she was deaf, dumb, and blind?

  44. stopdropreload
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#43): Perhaps she plays a mean pinball.

  45. langostino
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    So, stealing wallets drinks. Clown-9 is just a petty thief. Finally, someone in Spider-Man’s league.

  46. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#43):

    Margo and Lu Ann assumed she was deaf, dumb, and blind?

    Yes, but that deaf, dumb and blind girl sure played a mean pinball!

    (It had to be said)

  47. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Too late!!! Timing is everything! There’s water everywhere, I’ve lost control!

  48. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    New noir Pop Culture’s Kids up!/b>

    In other words, since this story goes 12 parts long, these next two Saturdays have new strips. Mustn’t end a storyline on a Tuesday, must one?

  49. Geekwhisperer
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

  50. Geekwhisperer
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#10): also here

  51. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    New noir Pop Culture’s Kids up!

    In other words, since this story goes 12 parts long, these next two Saturdays have new strips. Mustn’t end a storyline on a Tuesday, must one?

    (and one mustn’t get the tags wrong, either!)

  52. Tophat
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    I like how Tommie is absolutely blindsided that Nina and Scott have remembered that she’s in the room. “Welp, helped Nina burst forth with child, guess it’s back to standing in the corner and looking bland. Oh, she wants to name it Abigail Ann! Ann is a pretty name. Abigail? Why is that… familiar? Wait, why are they looking at me?! What… what is this?!?! OH WAIT SHIT MY NAME IS ABIGAIL TOO WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM STILL A MAJOR CHARACTER!?”

  53. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    BB: You know, when I was in the Navy, there was nothing my division liked better than putting on our dress uniforms, getting off the ship, going on liberty, and visiting a local art gallery or museum. We always used to see the Army guys out there too. This strip is so authentic.

    // I understand the Air Force guys are crazy about classical music concerts, and you can’t keep the Marines out of ballet.

    Jesus & Mo: I know the others, but I’ll have to check out that “Sophisticated Theology” book. Looks like a good beach read. I’m a sucker for “sophisticated”.

    MT: I recently read an article that says that small natural history museums are closing all over the place, and are selling off, or donating their stuff to other museums when they can. Sportsmen used to donate taxidermied specimens all the time – or their widows did – but now you practically can’t give them away. Even examples of rare or extinct species are going for almost nothing.

    Anyway, don’t “big game trophy hunters” kind of prefer to collect their trophies in person? No, my guess is that these bad guys are smugglers supplying the Chinese Traditional Medicine market.

    MW: “An officer emerges from the engine room with bad news. “Captain! There’s water! There’s water! We’ve lost control of the ship!”

    Is there a Bad Dialog Award of the Year?

    Anyway, the fellow in the striped shirt and quaint pantaloons is not an officer. Some kind of strange Italian non-silent mime, perhaps?

  54. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Clown-9: “Please, spare me your applause!”
    Everyone on the planet: “DON’T WORRY!”

    Nina: “Well, you didn’t expect me to name my little girl ‘Tommie’, did you? That’s a boy’s name. A man’s name!”
    Scott: “A man’s name, huh…… Sorry to overrule ya, hon’, but it’s going to be ‘Tommie’!”

    RMMD: Rex thinks: “Stupid Rex! I really shouldn’t have offered so much of my glorious, glorious money! Jeez, what kinda Woody Wilson character am I, anyway?!”

    RMMD, continued: Margo pops in. “You’re going to name her Margo, period! That’s all there is to it!”, she spouts, then leaves.

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

  56. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Gringo (#36): “This being Funky, it’s obviously the Blackbird of Unhappiness.”

    Actually, it’s the minah bird from the old Warner Bros cartoons:

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#53): re BB comment: especially the Windsor Ballet.

  58. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#54): That should be “A3G, continued”, dammit!

    Saturdays shouldn’t be so f’ed up!

  59. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Happy 64th birthday, Yusuf Islam! (That’s “Cat Stevens” to all you infidels…)

  60. odinthor
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    #53. NS.

    [...] and you can’t keep the Marines out of ballet.

    Their interest is purely professional.

  61. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#57): Fascinating. I didn’t know that euphemism. I did a little research just now, and it turns out that there was a real “Windsor Ballet” classical dance company, from about 1976 to 1986.

    I figure they died of embarrassment.

    // But their “Nutcracker” was awesome.

  62. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#60): What a coincidence! I, too, am Spartacus! Pleased to meet you.

  63. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Tank McNamara: Lately this strip has been satirizing some sports issue by framing it as a ban on grunting in women’s tennis. I got curious about what the real-world issue was and after some digging on Google, I finally figured it out:

    It’s about grunting in women’s tennis.

    That’s right — the present Tank McNamara story line is not using grunting tennis players as a device to satirize something else — it is simply recounting a real issue facing sports people today.

    Which is grunting tennis players.

    You see — they grunt when they hit the ball. In tennis. They grunt.

    Sports is a multi-billion dollar industry, and while schools can’t raise funds for actual educational resources, they can always manage to finance their sports department (which, in turn, tends to support the actual educational aspect of the school), and one of sports’ major issues at the moment is that some of their top athletes grunt when they exert themselves, and fans find it distracting.

    I don’t know which I find more ludicrous, the “issue” itself, or the fact that the International Tennis League Body Authority People haven’t told the fans to get stuffed, and are instead actually going to ban grunting during matches. It seems, however, that the Tank comic strip is taking the side that the tennis players should be able to stop grunting pretty much on demand.

    Perhaps they’ll take on excessive sweating in sports next.

    My days of not taking sports seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

  64. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    RM – “it’s our tweak-out money!”

  65. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#36):
    It’s a Puffin. : )

  66. John B
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Once again, Archie has trouble whacking the weed!

  67. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    This morning I dreamed I was hanging with the Firesign Theater (all four). And they laughed with something I said. I’d buy that for a quarter!

    Dennis – They’ll locate your bag the same way as always, Dennis: by the dead-frog smell.

    love is… …thinking as you plummet about how soon you’ll be with Dead Hubby forever.

  68. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#63): It’s more of an issue than you realize. The “grunting” is more like a primal scream, and I personally find it irritating as hell. I think the noise female tennis players make is really a tactic they’ve started using to psych out their opponents. And this is why I’ve stopped watching professional women’s tennis.

  69. Will
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#63): According to one article I read on the subject, the players don’t grunt during practice. It alleged that they grunted during the matches to intimidate the opposing player. I’m not sure I buy it, but if it is the case, then the banners may have a point.

    MW: Captain: “We have to evacuate!” Officer: “I already did!”

  70. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Tiff bummed: Crystal happy. Tiff happy: Crystal feels actual pain.
    Just wait till the premiere, Crys. Evans will find a way to make you so happy, you’ll hallucinate unicorns crapping rainbows.

    Marmaduke – “Get those kids off our lawn! And don’t track them across the carpet!”

  71. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#53): Meh. “Straightforward theology” usually turns out to be a better read. (Says the guy who’s read enough Barth and Niebuhr to know.)

  72. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Rx – Bug-out money? From the size of those bills, Rex and June are going to bug out to Marvin Gardens on the B&O Railroad.

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#26): Given a choice between Thorax and Amos, which would you choose?
    Easy! Lifelong celibacy and/or suicide.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#62): I’m Spartacus, and so’s my wife!

  73. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I’m developing a theory that Clown-9, aka Hardy Laurel, is actually a thinly-disguised version of somebody’s annoying kid brother, and this storyline is simply a metaphor for his awkward, embarrassing antics at family gatherings.

    Yes, the Amazing Spiderman is much more enjoyable when read as a chronicle of WASP-y dysfunction. I like it. I’m keeping this theory.

  74. Dr. Moreau
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s staring at that suspiciously flat, wooden fast-food counter with the tiniest glimmer of realization in his eyes. Deep down, his subconscious is wrestling with the fact that he’s in an asylum that softens the blow by having orderlies dress up as fry cooks, refer to patients as “customers” and dispense “fun meals” to make the meds seem more palatable. The last time he accidentally ingested two “fun meals,” he awoke to the truth of this terrible reality, like Neo in the “Matrix,” and became so hysterical that he was subjected to the facility’s harshest disciplinary tactic: He was permanently “pantsed.”

  75. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#68): @Will (#69): Okay, so it might be a tactic. Have they banned that whole “batter-batter-batter” stuff they apparently do in baseball to throw off the batter? I mean, this isn’t golf, where you take five minutes of concentrated study for one shot. This is an extremely physical sport.

    It’s also the only sport I really played in high school, since it was completely non-team, and I got pretty good at it. But I can’t imagine that my opponent grunting, screaming, or reciting The Jabberwocky would have interfered with my game in the least. And if it did, I’d expect any referee would tell me to grow a pair and ignore it.

    Still, I admit — I do not understand the whole sports mentality from start to finish (aside from playing sports — that can actually be fun), so I’m just going to put this issue to one side along with such eternal mysteries as why people insist that jeans are more comfortable than regular pants and why Kim Kardashian is a celebrity.

  76. Jessy
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: How depressing . . . I have bug-out money, too, but mine is $200. Are RMMD and Judge Parker deliberately feeding the class warfare thing?

  77. Red Greenback
    July 21st, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#72): I’m not going to jinx your Rex Morgan comment by saying anything good about it, IYKWIM.

  78. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#68):
    The best tennins, and the worst noises, came from matches between Aranxa Sanchez Vicario and Monica Seles. It sounded like rough sex most of the time
    Once my Mom said of Monica, “Someone should stuff a sock in her mouth.” : P

  79. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]


  80. SurrealKangaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Honestly when I first glanced at today’s Archie, I thought his leg was cut off.

  81. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#16): It’s well known in 9CL circles that Amos is well hung. That’s why Seth does a happy dance whenever he’s around.

  82. greghousesgf
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    I think that’s Midge Archie was ogling, so Moose is going to pound him anyway.

  83. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#71):

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#53): Meh. “Straightforward theology” usually turns out to be a better read. (Says the guy who’s read enough Barth and Niebuhr to know.)

    Sung to the tune of Orff’s “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi”

    I borrowed some Barth from my neighbor
    For something to read on the beach,
    Because reading Niebuhr’s hard labor,
    And this fall I’ll need something to preach.

    But maybe I’ll go with Chris Hitchens
    That’ll wake ‘em in the back pews,
    But then there’ll be moaning and bitchin’s,
    For “god is not Great” is old news.

  84. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Moreau (#74):

    Man, I would so love seeing Ziggy played by Jack Nicholson!

    That’s the only thing that would make your explanation even more hilarious than it already is. It totally explain Ziggy.

  85. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#79):
    it was a benign mistake. it would have been more misleading if you had typed “teninch”.

  86. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    If Cloud 9 is a lame (very lame) takeoff on The Joker, what else might be coming at us? PussyGirl? The Puffin?

  87. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#86): Clown 9. Freaking spellcheck.

  88. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#86): They haven’t really thought it out that far. The whole object was to see if they could come up with a villain that readers would rather punch than Spider-Man.

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#72): So, Spartacus walks into a bar, and the bartender says:

    1) Hey, we have a drink named after you!
    2) Oh, not another one!
    3) I’ve got a great idea for a cartoon. Wanna hear it?
    4) So, it has come to this!
    5) Sorry, the giant Easter Island statue just left. By the door.

  90. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#85): “record of her favorite blues.”

  91. debussy fields
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    MT–”I’ll report it to the wildlife people. Then I’ll call a person who works at a desk in an office and a couple other indoor people. One of them ought to know what to do about this problem.”

  92. Old Standby
    July 21st, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89):

    6) I knew this would happen once Disney got involved.

  93. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#59):

    I continue a running joke about the “Mark Trail” character Doc (if that is indeed his real name).

    Cat Stevens wasn’t even his real name…well, not that I should be surprised about the “Cat” part. As a child I expressed extreme doubt that could truly be a person’s name. To this day, anyone with an animal name for a first name is suspect, in my book.

    True, I did know someone who *said* their Christian name is “Cricket”. But, if you ask me, that sounds less Christian and more like a lifelong, cruel joke.

    Anyhow, Cat Stevens’ real name is supposedly: “Steven Demetre Georgiou”

    WTF? Dude, names aren’t like Kleenex. They just aren’t.

  94. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Yes, we know that Abigail was your name before the sex change, Tommie!

  95. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#93): Everyone get upon the Peace Train……BOOM!…..infidels.

  96. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#91):

    Doc (if indeed that is his real name) was probably thinking.
    “I need to report to the wildlife people anyhow. I’m long overdue for a

    (most likely because Elrod wanted to include the horse head*, that thought balloon wouldn’t fit.)

    *and who doesn’t like the day with a horse head hanging around? Yays? Neighs?

  97. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    MT “I’ll report what you saw to the wildlife people.”
    The end.

    MW The guy in the cap and red and black striped shirt is translating the captain’s words into mime for the entertainment-impaired.

    GT Oh, nice move, Gil!
    It’s supposed to be a surprise. Thanks for the spoiler.

    Who’s the ginger little dick
    That’s a melonhead in all his pics?
    You’re damn right!
    You see this Jeffy is a very good mother -
    (Shut your mouth)
    But I’m talkin’ about Jeffy!
    (Then we can dig it)
    He’s a complicated melon
    But no one understands him but his sister.
    (Jeffy Keane!)

  98. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#38): GT: “Which is kind of a dickish present, when you think about it, since it’s extremely difficult to use with only one hand.”

    Not if you use the cuff-link on the armless sleeve. I bet that’s how Becky pins up her sleeves. She has an assortment of designer cuff-links.

  99. Mark B.
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#96): Usually, in Mark Trail, a lot more care is taken drawing animals than people, but this panel is an aberration. The horse head looks like it should be on a broomstick instead of being a real horsehead. Maybe Elrod does poorly with domestic animals.

  100. Lynn
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    I had not realized that Nina had a Severus Snape-sized honker.

  101. Joshua
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    FC: Dolly is standing way too far away from the plant to be impressed by its growth.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Turbo Assembler: Clown-9, super criminal. Stealing wallets, and disrupting theatrical performances. “Look upon my misdeeds and despair!”

    // Next: Sabbath breaking & jaywalking!

  103. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Old Standby (#92): 7) Now I know how the Pilgrims felt!

  104. bats :[
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @stopdropreload (#4): who thinks I should go and rob the Morgans?

  105. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#75): “But I can’t imagine that my opponent grunting, screaming, or reciting The Jabberwocky would have interfered with my game in the least.”

    You are tough. “Calloo, callay, O frabjous day!” would definitely throw off my serve.

  106. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    So what would be the recipe for a “Clown-tini?”
    Maybe they could feature it as a special at the famous martini bars in D.C. – it would be oh so appropriate, now wouldn’t it?

    Life is brutal.

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#103):
    8) You know this is a gay bar, right?
    9) You know this isn’t a gay bar, right?
    10) No, sorry, haven’t seen a big horn sheep. You need to call the wildlife people.
    11) Oysters, or snails?

  108. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#100):
    Hahaha! I was thinking that too, but not that particular description.

  109. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#90):

    Ha y’all, Aerosmith recently performed outdoors in QC – my gf’s daughter went to the show avec her hubby.
    First time I heard “Toys in the Attic” I was 15. Best AS album IMO.
    Last night I was singing the high parts of “Dream On” from the debut album to my gf as we were discussing the QC appearance of the girlboy.

  110. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#93):
    I’ve heard it as Steven Dimitri Giorgiou.
    He’s a Greek. Seriously.

  111. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#106): So this clown walks into a bar, and the bartender says:

    1. What is this, some kind of joke?
    2. You know, we have a drink named after you!

  112. bats :[
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#76): RMMD: “You people just don’t understand our needs!”

    And over on Mt. Kilimanjaro…

  113. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#93): To this day, anyone with an animal name for a first name is suspect, in my book.

    I went to elementary school with a “Bunny,” but I was never sure if that was her actual name or a childhood nickname.

  114. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]


    I just re-read what I wrote about Stevens. I don’t mean to bring up religion in any way, shape or form.

    The problem is seriously centered around names.

    Using Doc from “Mark Trail”*…I don’t know what kind of doctor he is. Is he really a doctor or are they just humoring him? Sometimes people might call someone “Professor” because they “seem” smart or act a certain way.

    Since it is a character, there must be a particular reason for the name but I still have no clue what it is and I never feel like researching why he is named “Doc”. I’d kind of just like him do something that befits the name.

    With Cat Stevens, I’ve known plenty of Catherines who go by the nickname “Cat”.
    So, for a while I thought his full name was Catsifur or something ridiculous. (Oh wait. Maybe it is just me that is ridiculous.) Seriously though, I did think that it was a variation of his given name. I guess in the earlier post I should have written “given” rather than Christian. But, I had a good follow-up sentence that seemed kind of witty.

    *Mark Trail, whose very name is a pun

  115. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#114):
    There is a fiction novelist in Australia who goes by the name of “Cherry Ripe.”
    And let’s not forget “Oakey Merlot” from JP!

  116. Poteet
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

  117. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#114): I didn’t associate what you wrote with religion. Although it’s hard to disassociate a name like “Yusuf Islam” from a specific religion. (I wonder if anyone has ever changed their name to “Joe Catholic”?)

  118. bats :[
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

  119. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Archie: So why does Archie’s weed whacker chew through his jeans but leave his flesh unmarked? Well, this isn’t the first time he’s been distracted from yardwork by a sweet pair of titties walking by. Long story short, that leg is mostly titanium.

    S-M: Since at most you’ll have to fight Spidey—and even he’s cooling his heels outside the theatre—yeah, you can afford to get a little tipsy.

    A3G: It’s okay, Tommie. You can still use your real first name. It’s not like the Gaineses are buying out the exclusive rights. Or are they?

    RMMD: “Friend in L.A., you say? Any chance we might be able to get into her will? Just a thought.”

    MW: “My God, we’re going to have to evacuate everyone… eventually. I’m going to lie down for a nice nap now. When I wake up, remind me of that thing we have to do.”

    WofI: Just don’t cut the ribbon. Obviously the Huns can’t climb over it or go around it onto the grass. Their only options are stand there politely or give up and go home.

    C-Shaft: Well, Crankshaft learned how to read sometime in the past few years. I guess he could advise the mobs on which books to burn.

    9CL: Oh good. Now there’s a fresh face in the masturbatory fantasy.

    JP: You think Sam said that Bubba is “growing on” him because he knows that Bubba is really growing ganja on the grounds? Me neither.

    Garfield: Garfield meets Ashlee Simpson’s mastiff.

    GA: Yeah, who can keep up when they use $5 words like “install”?

    BB: Well no wonder! He thinks the painting is Sarge cussing him out.

    DT: I guess the lesson here is that if you place a mole in the police department it will blow up in your face, but infiltrating emergency medical services is a wise investment.

    Blondie: Okay, who lets their kid drag their laptop around in an American Flier wagon? Of course the power will probably run out before they get to the end of the movie.

    FC: I hear Jeffy Keane is one bad mother—
    No he’s not!
    But I’m only talking about Jeffy
    Well don’t.

    DtM: At this point it’s going to sound like there’s a dead frog in it, kid.

    M-Dawg: Maybe it would have been prudent to open up a fire hydrant and wash off some of the blood and entrails. It doesn’t pay to be too obvious.

    SFx: As it turns out, a barrel of monkeys is only fun for 75% of the monkeys.

  120. Poteet
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — I wear a brimmed hat every time I step outside and never thought I’d meet a more hat-intensive woman, but Iris, you win.

  121. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#110):

    I just cut and pasted that name.

    Believe me, there is no way that I would memorize all three names a formerly full-time professional, famous singer unless that is how they were known (i.e., Stevie Ray Vaughn). Probably the only exception to that would be Elvis.

    That said, I guess the spelling is culled from another source of online list of Today’s Birthdays. The one I pasted is from one of those lists.

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#97): FC: Ah you got to it before I did and funnier to boot.

  123. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#86):

    PussyGirl? The Puffin?

    That first one might build up reader hopes too much. I know! How about the Blue Jay Frightener?

  124. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    So, Rex Morgan has “bug out” money, eh? Does that mean he was with the 4077th MASH unit? He DOES remind me of Frank Burns and, boy, does June remind me of Hot Lips.

  125. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#119):

    SFx: As it turns out, a barrel of monkeys is only fun for 75% of the monkeys.

    Exactly! The other 25% are the bottom of the barrel variety monkeys, the ones who can’t possibly be having a good time.

    What with the standing on the heads and on the tails and such. /catskills comedian*

    *i like to think that the Catskills was founded by a very industrious and talented feline. I like to think that and express that mostly to mess with people.

  126. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#63): Seriously? Isn’t grunting pretty much what separates tennis from Pong?

  127. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#123): Scarecrow!! Good one! How about a poor man’s Bane, called Annoyance?

  128. commodorejohn
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G – The best part about Apartment 3-G is when someone breaks just far enough out of Bolle’s stiff mannequin postures to bobble in shock. Tommie really does look like she’s just found out her cover identity has been compromised and has to kill all the witnesses here.

    A.D. – Today’s B.C. guest-written by Tom Batiuk!

    C&B – Phrase of the day: “pelt wedgie.”

    FC – Not touchin’ this one.

    FW – Hey, two characters that don’t ever say anything! Can we ditch the rest of the assholes and focus on these two, please?

    GT – …well, at the very least this isn’t likely to be as nauseating as the Ostentatiously Pinned-Up Sleeve Club over in Westview.

    JP – “Look, I’ve heard tell of that dolt in the plaid flannel from a cousin in the city! They say it literally rains money when he’s around! Go get the biggest baskets you can find, and we’ll scrape up everything we can!”

    Mandrake – “!?” indeed! Finally, someone has a sensible reaction to this gibberish.

    MT – Why is one quarter of Doc’s head at a 45° angle to the rest?

    MW – “My God! We’re going to have to evacuate everyone! And we don’t have enough lifeboats to make sure that that mook with the sandwich fixation and his mopey daughter are safely sequestered away from the rest of the passengers!”

    SM – Great, he’s got the drinks! Now he can team up with Electro and have sandwiches to go with them!

  129. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#114): i wasn’t referring to his religion, just the incongruity of some of his statements lately vs the lyrics of Peace Train. Same guy? Ouch!

  130. Cerastium nutans
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    I have been asked to speak for all the other flowering plants known by the common name of “chickweed.” We wish to firmly disassociate ourselves from the pile of toxic goo known as “9 Chickweed Lane.” It has nothing to do with us. We are not responsible for it. We are not to blame. We are considering a lawsuit. That is all.

  131. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#129):

    I read what you wrote and didn’t think you did. I just realized it seemed like what I wrote did. I didn’t decide to write that because of what you wrote.

    If you hadn’t replied to it with a link, I probably would have still expressed regret eventually.

    I just didn’t want someone “new” to the thread to read down the thread and then get to my comment and get offended by anything in it.

    That’s all. What you wrote is fine.

    (personally, there is a cover of the “Peace Train” song which I like better than the original. I forget if it is Edie Brickell and New Bohemians or 10,000 Maniacs or which band did the cover. So, when I read what you wrote, I “heard” the song Peace Train and then a…kettle drum…go boom. )

    Enough with this punishment of keys on a keyboard….from me….for now…..

    More Aerosmith allusions and grunts and Sandwich Floatation Devices.

    (“Quick, Dawn! Grab the Giant Bagel so you can float to safety! Though hang on tight because when I get nervous I like to nosh!”)

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#83):
    With apologies to M.P.

    Thomas Aquinas loved a glass,
    He was very rarely stable.
    Kierkegaard was a drunk blackguard
    Who could pray you under the table.
    Paul Tillich was completely sick,
    Til he had his morning drinky,
    And Karl Barth was a sodden fart
    Even worse than Ulrich Zwingli.
    Bishop Fulton Sheen was particularly mean
    Sucking down his booze in a jiffy,
    And WILLIAM LANE CRAIG is… permanently squiffy.

  133. bats :[
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Making use of what I have, but shamefacedly admitting that I wonder what Dawn and Wilbur are doing…

  134. Peanut Gallery
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

  135. sporknpork
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    That’s, um, quite the camel toe there. Eww.

  136. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#121): He had to change it. It just wasn’t working.
    “Now you can call me Steve, or you can call me Steven; or you can call me Dimitri, of you can call me S.D., or…”

    @Peanut Gallery (#134): I knew they’re reused the voice and laugh of Cuddles for Precious Pup, Muttley, Mucker, and modified for Astro and Rooby Roo. I was unaware that Cuddles’s shtick with the goodies was also imported intact.
    And yet, surprised, I am not.

  137. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#126): If you’re referring to Pong, the electronic game, I seem to remember a lot of grunting going on with that, too.

  138. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#122): Somethin’ just clicked in my head. I’ve always loved that “shut your mouth” part of Shaft. I think FC could get really interesting if the Keane kids all grew up to be bunch of “muthas.”

  139. Girl Reporter
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    I don’t get the concept of “crooked clown”. Are clowns charged with some sort of fiduciary duty toward the public in general or clients in specific? Do they act as agent in dealings with other people’s seltzer and cream pies? It just really shakes my world view to find out that clowns might be on the take. Would you have to slip Bozo a fat envelope of confetti to get the floppy-shoe contract?

  140. Roger Ln
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    “It’s our bug-out money! We show it to poor people and watch their eyes bug out.”

  141. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#119): A3G: It’s okay, Tommie. You can still use your real first name. It’s not like the Gaineses are buying out the exclusive rights. Or are they?

    Why, yes, they are. And they’ll be acquiring Tommie in the bargain, on the assumption that a good midwife *snicker* will make a good nanny *guffaw*. The Gaines are very rich; they are different from you and me.

  142. odinthor
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107):

    12) “Spartacus! I love you like a brother!”

    13) “Christ, what an anus!”

  143. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    MW-And, sir, the roof. The roof is on fire.

    Blondie-Aren’t those kids rather old to be riding tricycles.

    Curtis-I’m sorry, Curtis, but you won’t getting a haunted house just a run of the mill boring crack house.

    Hi and Lois-We are drowning our sorrows in milkshakes and bourbon.

  144. sporknpork
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    So is Clown-9 armed or something? He’s right the fuck there! Tackle him!!

  145. Poteet
    July 21st, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#144): But that would make sense.

  146. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#136):


    Now you remind me that his made up first name isn’t Cat, it’s Ray.

    This multiple name thing is starting to seem like mathematics to me so I’m out. I will try to never mention his name(s) again.

  147. Red Greenback
    July 21st, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#146): So Cat Stevens is actually Ray Stevens, writer of “Ahab the Arab”?!?
    My mind is now blown….

  148. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#131):
    It was Natalie Merchant and 10,000 Maniacs – I actually have a copy of their LP with that song, before they pressed the same album later without that song.

  149. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#121):
    Six of one … : )
    I am a total music geek and grew up listening to Cat in High School along with other classics.
    If we were to play Music Jeopardy (sans rappers and over-singers) I think I’d do pretty well. ;)

  150. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#128):

    Re MT: Doc learned tilt his head like that by watching a continuously confused Andy who was trying to make sense of these story arcs.

    And WTF is up with the reference to “The Wildlife People”? Is Doc going senile and forgot how to say Game Warden, Ranger, DNR, etc.

  151. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#147):

    Well, isn’t it Ray “Cat” Stevens or is “Cat” the thing that separates him from “Guitarzan, the Guitar Man”?

    I’m not gonna look this up on Wikipedia and I already said I wasn’t gonna bother with this again (and, I am).

    And, if his real fake first name is not Ray then why did you remind me of “Ahab the Arab, the sheik of the burning sands” and “Guitarzan”?

    oh, nobody knows the mojo i seen.

    @Calico (#148):

    Ah, yes. That sounds familiar. Salmon Rushdie. How time flies when it has wings*.

    *and, yeah, I’m looking at you, Paul McCartney! Hang it up! Shoo! G’wan git!

  152. TheOmniarch
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: I definitely read “Only one FUNERAL…”

    This lead to the conclusions that:
    a) Ziggy pops in to the funeral home for a pick-me-up
    [These seems completely canonical]
    b) He goes there so much that the staff know that his weak attempts at joy are inappropriate, so management has rationed his attendance.

    Also (c) Ziggy picks the low-rent fast-food funeral homes to visit for said attempts at joy.

  153. Mr. O'Malley
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#131): It was 10,000 Maniacs, and it looked as though it was going to be a big hit, but Yusuf said he was going to use the royalties for a bounty on Salman Rushdie, so they pulled the song.

  154. Mr. O'Malley
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#115): Cherry Ripe is a popular Australian candy bar. It would be like calling yourself Mars Barre.

  155. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#153):


    You know before today, I rarely ever thought about him. Once in a while I would hear a song of his on the radio and go “Oh, yeah. That is the guy who isn’t Jim Croce (the man who’s seen fire and rain).”

    But, now, I’m just being constantly reminded of why I don’t like him at all. Oh, sure. Some of his songs are toe-tappingly good. But, man, I’m losing respect for him as the day goes on!

    Next, someone is going to tell me that he perfected a technique to play cat-cordians! (I’ll laugh. Until I think of the implications of such an instrument. Because it would sound annoying!)

  156. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#154):
    Yes, I know, and in Chef Ramsay’s “Boiling Point 2″ doco, he and Hector Dempsey (RIP) travel to Down Under for classes and interviews – the contentiousness between the two is intense, as one of her novels appears to be about him in a Harlequin Romance kind of light.
    At least here in QC we have the “Cherry Blossom.” : )

  157. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#154):
    I call our young Tortie “Snickers” sometimes, as she reminds me of a Snickers bar pattern-wise.
    Whe we adopted her, I had a craving for Snickers and ate 3 bars in one week. (*Ugh, not good for the old gall bladder*)

  158. Calico
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#150):
    Is “The Wildlife People” a new band, kinda like The Village People?

  159. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Dan (#43): I assume it’s because her last name is Thompson. This is Apt. 3G, after all, and interesting stories are few and far between.

  160. Red Greenback
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Capitano Canguro! There’s water! There’s water! In my pants! I’ve lost control of my bladder!

  161. Peanut Gallery
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y38): Re the pellet gun: You’ll shoot your eye out, k– uh, Old Man!

  162. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-I like how Jameson impotently waves his fist at Clown-9. It’s like he is saying, “Rob from me will you. Expect to see a heavily worded editorial about you in tomorrow’s newspaper.”

  163. Peanut Gallery
    July 21st, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#136): Not to mention Mumbly. But as for Cuddles, are you thinking of Snuffles?

    Can’t remember where I read it, but it might have been John Kricfalusi who complained that Hanna-Barbera cartoons just consist of characters “standing around blinking at each other.”

  164. Peanut Gallery
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    MW – It’s okay to copy the visuals from some old foreign-language seafaring flick, but they shouldn’t have copied the dialogue from those awkwardly translated subtitles.

  165. Alison
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: If Evans was going to insist on this weird we’re-friends-except-one-of-us-hates-the-other relationship between Crystal and Tiffany, he should have made them sisters, or at least first cousins. That would sort of explain why they hang out together despite Crystal’s bitchy attitude towards Tiffany.

    Also, I am enjoying the poster at GoComics who’s been calling him/herself “Ann Eiffel” and saying nice things about Tiffany and Ann, and crummy things about Luann. Wonder how long before he/she gets run out of town on a rail.

    “Rex Morgan”: Why even bother with art and dialogue? This strip should just consist of a gigantic “$” in bold font, every day.

  166. Horace Broon
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Okay, how long has it been in strip time since February, when Nina handed Scott a card that said “Nurse Abigail Tompkins” on it? Are we talking goldfish, or concussed goldfish?

  167. Horace Broon
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#166):

    Thompson, not Tompkins. I’m clearly casting stones from a glass house, here.

  168. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    What the hell else does Clown 9 have going for him except laughing gas, a propensity for pratfalls and a nasty attitude? Christ, JJ, man up and the the little creep out, willya?

  169. Ed Dravecky
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Dan (#43): Tommie’s full name is Abigail Thompson and it’s her last name that is presumably the source of the nickname. The source of her infinite blandness remains a mystery.

  170. Mibbitmaker
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#117): I think Snoopy did once, when he was pretending to be a priest. Not sure that one ever made the finished strips.

  171. Anonymous
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#83): Well done! You have a future in opera or ruling the world, whichever offers dental coverage.

  172. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#171): Whoops, that was me, trying to post from my iPhone.

  173. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#124): Wouldn’t “bug out” be more of a Radar thing? M*A*S*H’s Gary “Radar” Burghoff=bug off=bug out (get it?)

  174. pastordan
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): I believe Tom Lehrer’s responsible for “The Philisopher’s Song,” Nehemiah. And Martin Luther drank a gallon of beer a day, plus wine and other spirits.

  175. seismic-2
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): Let us not forget the contributions to theology of Rev. Elijah Craig. In fact, it’s about time for my evening devotional, so I shall go spend the rest of the evening po(u)ring over a distillation of his spiritual oeuvre.

  176. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#155): I really liked the Catman before he got that old-time religion (800 AD or so).

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#159): Apparently, no one in comics with the surname of Thompson uses their real first name. That’s why you have a character in Spider-Man called “Flash” Thompson.

  177. demoncat
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    rm. of course june and i have bug out money for its to make sure guests one don’t stay a long period of time and two in case rex ever gets exposed as a lousy doctor as bribe money. Mw. wilbur has two thoughts in his head how to avoid being trampled to death and also figure out if mary caused the ship disaster

  178. Ross
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    For those who’ve not been keeping up, Yousef Islam, nee Cat Stevens, recently converted yet again, to Judaism. He now wants to be called Steven Katz.

  179. Chaze126
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#173): Very clever, but no Gary Bugout. There was an episode of MASH that opened with everyone screaming “Bug out!!” because they had to move the unit. That memory was tucked away until my friend Rex reminded me.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Ross (#178): The Catman has more lives than a Felis silvestris catus.

  181. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#163): You are right. I cuddled when I should have snuffled. And I even have an old 45 with the character on it. Also, I’m pretty sure I missed at least one repetition of the character along the way.

    @pastordan (#174): The Philosopher Song is definitely Monty Python. It’s in their songbook, and it was on the show, on album, and I think in the first movie. I even got to see/hear Eric Idle sing it in person one time. It’s part of the curriculum in the Philosophy Department at the University of Woolamaloo, Bruce.

    Cat Stevens now goes by the single name Yusuf, per Wikipedia. I was naturally a bit disappointed in him when he was quoted as approving the Rushdie fatwa, but apparently all he did was answer a question about it at some event, and he clarified on that the next morning. He also said things on a TV show that were alleged to prove his perfidy — he says those were on-camera jokes that were edited to make him look bad. In 2001, he quickly condemned the 9/11 murders, and he has since worked for peace, winning some awards along the way.

    When DJs started burning his records, my reaction was to hope that they’d stand close to the bonfire and inhale the fumes. All they were doing was to temporarily deprive people of the albums, and after a while a lot of them would want another copy, and so Yusuf would mostly make more money because of it. I have one of his albums on my iPod, and a couple others on LP. Listening to his work now, I have to say he was every bit as good as I thought he was when the songs first came out. And his animated video for “Teaser and the Firecat” is sweet.

  182. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 21st, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    • The Cat Stevens stuff isn’t part of my comment to pastordan.
    • The animated video is for Moonshadow, but it stars Teaser and the Firecat.
    • I do not really have anyone’s nose in my hand. It was just my thumb, see?

  183. True Fable
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, Closeted Doctor Money Get away/ Back up enough so it will be okay/
    Money It’s a gas/ Watch me pull some bills out my ass
    Benjamins cringe a minute just long enough to thumb the wad and pay to make you go away

    Mary Wrath It had to be done.

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
    A tale of a father’s dare
    To take his daughter on a far-off cruise
    Without any salmon squares
    Without any salmon squares

    The weather started looking nice
    the seas were calm and blue
    If not for the whining of his daughter there
    Would be something to do
    Would be something to do

    Depression started crowding in
    the girl whined she was bored
    She brought down the spirits of the guests and crew

    The ship set ground on the shore
    with a pretty awful cast
    With Silly Fans
    Titantic’s skipper too
    a pompous Scot and his wife
    Wilbur Weston’s girth
    Dr Corey and Mary Worth
    Here on Charterstone Isle!

  184. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#182): Corrigienda! Great Zeus, but that nadgers my bogle in pleasant way. May your thermantidote never go dry, OM.

  185. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Crock: I’ve looked at this off and on all day. I officially give up. What is going on here? Anyone know?

  186. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

  187. True Fable
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Just what IS the draw about Amos?
    Other than being McElwanney’s stand-in?

    That’s it, basically. The awkward brainy goon is supposed to get the girl in every situation, MUST get the girl in fact, because McE sees himself as being just so damned literate, so underappreciated and so irresistible for lowly beefwits to marvel over, Amos can’t help but be the be-all, end-all in Manly Virtues. It’s why the big handsome larger-than-life manfigure Seth is gay and therefore out of reach for the women in the strip. The Ideal Man is an impossible goal, so women have to turn to the Ideal Intellectual to fulfill their wishes and fantasies. Don’t you wish you were Amos, who is oh so adorkable!
    Golly, he’s just like Zooey Dechanel only he plays the cello and his First Time at bat was broadcast all over Belguim cable tv. Just as overexposed, though.

  188. True Fable
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Oh man. I left out a line in the third verse and can’t remember what it was now. damn.

    Anyone want to chime in and/or improve it?

  189. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#150): And WTF is up with the reference to “The Wildlife People”?

    I thought maybe it was some feral tribe secluded in the deepest reaches of Lost Forest, like Nell or something.

  190. Sgt. Stoned
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#22): MW: “There’s water. There’s water.” Oh, I thought that Doubleup had taken a break from his gun battle with Tracy to go on a Mediterrean cruise.

  191. Snarkotix Addict
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#188): I left out a line in the third verse and can’t remember what it was now. Anyone want to chime in…

    “La la la… somethin’ somethin’… three hour cruise… somethin’ la la la…”

  192. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#174): “…Martin Luther drank a gallon of beer a day, plus wine and other spirits.”

    Undeniably a Great Man. His “Hier stehe ich” becomes even more impressive. Personally, though I too would stand, I would probably wobble a bit.

    // It was the Diet of Worms that made him strong. Protein!

  193. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#185): Wow. I stopped looking at Crock when it went, um, classic, so I didn’t notice it before you pointed it out. Is Bill Griffith doing a guest artist thing?

  194. Chip Whittle
    July 21st, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    The real revelation this week is that Nina has a memory so superhumanly good she’s actually about to remember information about Tommie Thompson.

  195. Chip Whittle
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#185):

    Crock: I’ve looked at this off and on all day. I officially give up. What is going on here? Anyone know?

    It’s a breaking-the-fourth-wall thing. The shades of night are drawn, but one of the stars is heavy enough it’s pulling down the top of the shade curtains. It doesn’t say much for the reality of the Lost Patrol’s existence, but then, what does?

  196. Nehemiah Scudder
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#175): Let us not forget the contributions to theology of Rev. Elijah Craig. In fact, it’s about time for my evening devotional, so I shall go spend the rest of the evening po(u)ring over a distillation of his spiritual oeuvre.

    A good candidate for a clerihew:

    The Reverend Elijah Craig
    Was a very Good Egg.
    Without him, Kentucky,
    Would be far more sucky.

  197. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    As it goes, I certainly don’t mean to make anyone defend Stevens or his music.

    I was just exageratting for effect when I wrote some of that stuff earlier.
    @tallyHO (#155):

    That was riffing off of the vibe from a Simpsons’ episode where Homer had an anger management issue, Angry Dad. And, it is playing off of that humor where you say one nice thing and quickly follow it up with nearly the opposite.

    It was just written for effect.

    In defense of Not Ray Cat (Man. Not Caruthers) Stevens, I have seen interviews with him, recent ones, too. He seems like a reasonable person. (Who is so vile as to hate a person of peace? Not I.)

    While I don’t have much deep knowledge of his music, the songs I know aren’t horrible. I could go off on the truly horrible songs some have made. (I’m looking at you, Elton John, and at you, William Shatner, and, now I’m not!)

    He’s just not on my radar at all. Until today. Suddenly, out-of-the-blue, poof! There he “is”.

    Speaking of mystical whatsits, (bad segue, I know) @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#182):, in that video you gave the boy and the cat a name. So, are there supposed to be characters in that particular song, “Moonshadow”? I didn’t her any specific mention of anyone since the song is in first person.

    Just curious.

  198. Liam
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy-I’m sorry, Ziggy, but there is to be no fun for you here. You’ll have to have fun somewhere else.

  199. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#193): Although it has a meta-feel to it and leavers me completely baffled, it doesn’t actually frighten me, so it can’t be Griffith. I’ve got no clue what the idea is, though. Is someone on the other side of the night sky using a hook to pull down the blackness? Did someone hang a star that was too heavy?

    But all is not lost. You see, because of your comment (@Nehemiah Scudder (#184)), I had to look up “thermantidote.”

    This is what I found:

    A device for circulating and cooling the air, consisting essentially of a kind of roasting fan fitted in a window and incased in wet tatties.
    Eg. Will you bring me to book on the mountains, or where the thermantidotes play?
    - Kipling.

    My first thought, of course, was, “What the hell is a roasting fan?” My second thought was, “Incased!?” And my third thought was, “Why would you ‘incase’ a ‘roasting fan’ in wet potatoes?”

    My fourth thought, of course, was, “What the hell is Kipling talking about, and is that example really supposed to clarify the meaning?”

    I looked up “roasting fan” and discovered it had to do with roasting coffee beans. A search for “wet tatties,” however, was pointless, since it either led back to thermantidote, or to a book about Florence Nightingale who apparently “had no idea of the cooling power of the wet tatties.”

    As a result, from this day forward, whenever I think of a thermantidote, I will envision a Victorian nurse trying to stop native East Indians from roasting coffee beans with a fan that has been wedged into a window by means of water-logged potatoes.

    So what I’m saying is thanks — Crock no longer seems quite so bizarre.

  200. commodorejohn
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#174): Martin Luther: drank like a fish, romanced a nun out of her habit, called the Pope an ass in a public forum. We all should aspire to be as cool.

  201. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#195): But only one star has a hook.

  202. tallyHO
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#197):
    “…that humor where you say one nice thing and quickly follow it up with nearly the opposite.”

    For other examples, cuz I may as well be funny and write about comic strips:

    He’s a perfectly pleasant man, for a drunken scallywag! Sure, he eats his spinach but it is in fermented juices. Just like his blood cells are in fermented juices. But, he does have a nice disposition, when he’s passed out cold. Which doesn’t last long because he loves his drink!
    He’s never been in therapy. But he gets by. I mainly worry about the rest of us.

    Marmaduke, you truly are Man’s Best Friend. (*whispers* –>I’m going to kill you in your sleep and save my family!)

    Martha, this is the best meal I’ve had in years. When did you get Mrs. Lockhorn’s recipe for burnt roast pot stickers? Oh, it’s ham?

    Blondie, you know I could never cheat on you. I love you and your cooking too much. Plus, I’m still making payments for your various nips and tucks! I could stick you with the bills but you’ll clean me out if we divorce. And, I love your sandwich skills so much, darling.

    Besides, with Wilbur, it isn’t technically cheating, it is just the two of us occasionally sharing a hotdog. You understand, don’t you? Dropping out of college doesn’t make you dumber, after all.

    Ha! They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Ladies, you’re worth your weight of two handfuls of diamonds.
    Oh, what? I’m sorry, Mr. Dithers. You have something under…I mean…on your lapels! Ample lapel ladies, I call it. Heh heh! I find the best way for an ample man to have clean lapels is to squeeze…..uh….according to Tits from Heloise. Did I say…? Yes, I meant “tips”, of course.

    I’m going home now, boss.

  203. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @filmoreeast: Congrats on Comment of the Week, however, I have to say that you can’t actually have “torn-apart whole mice.” They’re sort of one or the other — not both.

  204. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#187): Golly, he’s just like Zooey Dechanel…

    Yet Zooey Deschanel was named for the male character in J.D. Salinger’s “Franny and Zooey,” while Amos was named for one of the eponymous blackface characters in Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll’s “Amos ‘n’ Andy.”

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#200): Martin Luther also spent a lot of time on the crapper (apparently, not enough fiber in his diet) and famously threatened to throw some of his poop at the devil.

  206. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

  207. Ditch Fisher
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Abagail? WTF, Tommie’s a woman? I’ve been reading this strip on Josh’s site for nearly a year now and never realized…oh well, what the he’ll…guess I’ll just “go with it” like everything else in this strip.

  208. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#39):

    No worries, Captain. By the looks on their faces, I think everyone’s already evacuated themselves, if you get my drift.

    Drifting and floating, as it were.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#137): So the line is even blurrier than I thought.

  209. Former Commenter, Current Lurker
    July 21st, 2012 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#188): I could only come up with “Till they could take no more.” Well, that or, “Something something, Burt Ward.”

  210. pastordan
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#181): Ah, I see my mistake. Lehrer wrote a song about the history of western philosophy, and the MP song is in his style, so I mixed them up.

    I blame the beer, or lack thereof.

    Meanwhile, something about Rex Mirgan has been bugging me, and I finally figured out what it reminded me of: the scene in The Wire when Cutty finally screws up the nerve to ask the drug kingpins for 10 large to start a boxing program. There’s this long pause, and they bust out laughing. “Is that it? Damn, give him 15 just for asking.” That’s the moment we’re in, that long pause before Rex goes Iris 15 and a crack pipe just for asking.

  211. Farley's Revenge
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#155): James Taylor saw the fire and rain. Jim Croce warned against tugging on Superman’s cape and perused about time being shoved in a bottle.

  212. Poteet
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#150): In its own way, MT is just as determinedly-generic as CURTIS. We rarely find out where the stories are taking place, who owns or manages the land, or what agencies are involved. I’m keeping the theory open that MT actually takes place on some other planet. Among other things, that would help explain Rusty.

  213. Droopy Says
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    Spiderzero: Security can’t help, Jameson. Their contract requires them to leave supervillains to the jurisdiction of the Superheroes Union (Local #13). Of course Asi9 isn’t much of a supervillain and Spiderman is a superhero only as a technicality, but why take chances in these litigious times?

    Creepy Les: The only thing wrong with watching Les fall on his face is that you have to look at him.

    Mary Mirthless: Capain Smith, you have no control over your ship, so how are you going to beach her?

    Pluggers: Of course Pluggers have trouble with digital technology. Pluggers are all thumbs, and not one of them is opposable.

    Jugs Parker: I expect Bubba to return with a set of golf clubs. It would be the only way to make this more boring.

    Pluggers, again: “A bit of a learning curve?” Since when do Pluggers learn?

    Jugs Parker, again. Sam smiles because Bea didn’t kill Avarice with her hammer. I weep for the same reason. This makes one of us a bad person, doesn’t it?

  214. Poteet
    July 22nd, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    @True Fable (#183): Per the third verse, how about adding “Her hairdo was deplored”? Not the greatest addition, but I’ll bet it’s true:-).

  215. tallyHO
    July 22nd, 2012 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#211):

    My theme song for those whimsical folks singers of that time is:

    Send in the Clones

    They all blend together to me.

    Just being frank.

    For years I thought some Paul Simon songs were done by barely known One Hit Wonders.
    And, then the DJ (or the computer voice module?) says, “That was Paul Simon.”
    And, I go, “Hunh! Who’da thunk it?”

    It is just all the same so darn similar sounding to me.
    But, some of the songs are toe-tapping good tunes. I just don’t bother listening closely.

    I just don’t really know who did what.

    They may as well be all singing Ragtime songs.

    But, music is the something something that makes the whole world something something. So, to each his or her something something.

    Now, I suppose you are going to tell me there was really a group called The Beetles or something. Haha. Sure, Ol’ Jack Elrod Presents The Beetles.

    //gimme indie rock; no offense; unless it is Bob Dylan or Woodie Guthrie or Phil Ochs, when it comes to folks music: I tend to blend Kingston Singers with Peter, Paul and Mounds bars and I confuse John Denver with Gilligan (last name unknown).

    It’s like there was a strain of dark haired guys with mustaches who found the way to pick up chicks was playing acoustic guitar in a coffee shop (i’ve seen it before; who’d think it would still work.)
    I tried it once with a stick-on giant mustache, a Monte Hall Toupee but all I could find to play was a banjo and I had to accessorize with a Steve Martin Arrow to hold the wig on.

    Pickin’ up and grinnin’. It didn’t work out so great.

  216. Poteet
    July 22nd, 2012 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    MT — “Most insects are considered to be pests” is only true if one adds “by people who know nothing about insects.” The vast majority of insect species are not pests, and insects as a group are vital to the life support systems of this planet. It has been pointed out that if humans disappeared, most other life forms could keep right on going, but if insects disappeared, many other species, including humans, would be in catastrophic trouble within a few months.

    As for ladybugs, alas, some species are in trouble. People, including children, are being asked to look for them via the Lost Ladybug Project, below.

  217. Poteet
    July 22nd, 2012 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    MW — I can’t find “Point Gibilaro” on Google, so I assume this ship is headed for imaginary rocks. Better than the Costa Concordia, whose captain managed to wreck it in a way that threatened (and may still threaten, via fuel) one of the most pristine marine sanctuaries in the Mediterranean.

  218. Droopy Says
    July 22nd, 2012 at 2:40 am [Reply]

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