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Maybe I’ll be paid in Reese’s Cups, if I “negotiate to yes”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/6/12

Since much of electoral politics consists of convincing large groups of people that all their problems are caused by small groups of people, it was only a matter of time before attack ads started singling out individual private citizens by name. Picking on Snuffy Smith and his friends is a smart move, actually, as it won’t lose anybody a single vote; due to a misunderstanding of the phrase “no taxation without representation,” Hootin’ Holler refuses to allow the Elections Board to set up polling places in the community, because they believe that in so doing they’re also keeping out the revenooers.

Momma, 8/6/12

God help me, but I love Francis’s sly look in panel three. “Hmm, I hadn’t considered that, actually! You know, for all her bluster, Momma does have some sound business sense. Gosh, I love lollipops!”

Apartment 3-G, 8/6/12

If by “tall,” you mean “the exact same height as Margo, who has never been depicted as particularly tall,” and by “shy,” you mean “openly discussing his emotional state with a total stranger within seconds of meeting her,” but otherwise, sure, whatever, narration box.

336 responses to “Maybe I’ll be paid in Reese’s Cups, if I “negotiate to yes””

  1. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    And so B.C. draws to a gory post-apocalyptic end as the Hunger Games conclude with all of the strip’s characters shot and their corpses burned, just as Johnny Hart always intended. Amen.

  2. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh look. Dawn has a new imaginary boyfriend. oooOO “At least I found this Italian hunk to love me”. “Hey lady, can you quit grinding my crotch”.

    MW2: I know the Italians are a laid back people but they can’t even be bothered to use a harness when lifting people off a sinking boat?

  3. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Okay, quiet down class. I’d like you to complete these word problems before the end of the day:

    A3G: Mr. Graham is identified as “a tall … man,” and Margo appears to be the same height. If the door in the room is a typical 80″, what is the average height of an Apartment 3G New Yorker?

    FC: If London is 5 hours ahead of the U.S. east coast and Dolly is watching the Olympics live, how many times has that TV screen been re-purposed from from past strips for past Olympics?

    GT: It takes 280 joules to punch someone in the balls, and Steve consumes 2500 calories a day. How many people did Steve have to “mis-hit” in the balls before he was completely exhausted?

    MT: Rusty is traveling south on Old Dead Ram Trail at a rate of 17 ft/second. Cherry is traveling north through Galloper’s Gulch at 4 mph. If Galloper’s Gulch is at the half-way point of both trails, how many weeks till Mark punches someone in the face?

    Popeye: If the average Popeye storyline takes 10 weeks, and this storyline promises 50,000 Grumpers, how many weeks until the narrative is an incomprehensible mess of crazy that may or may not be appropriate for children because who the fuck knows what the hell’s going on?

    Zippy: If Griffy’s comic contains four classic comic titles about which nobody who isn’t Bill Griffith cares in one volume, how many days of ironic, nostalgia-driven neuroses are we in store for?

  4. CanuckDownSouth
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Phantom I know the lucha libre’s gotten a bit out of hand in this city, what with the Good Guy making TV appeals implying he’s an actual vigilante and asking for crime tips to the police, but would the whole population really get so wrapped up that they’d automatically revile the real-life man playing the Bad Guy in the ring? If I knew that rather than being an entertaining narrative, prosecuting the drug dealers, murderers and other dregs of society actually depended on a policeman somewhat randomly being able to beat a well-matched thug in a ring, I wouldn’t stick around that place very long.

  5. Droopy Says
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    How can you tell how tall anyone is in A3G? How often do you see anyone below the rib cage? For all any of us know they lack lower bodies and have their torsos planted in life-support units that float on anti-gravity devices. The apparent differences in their heights could be due to constant altitude adjustments in their bionic modules.

  6. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Confession: today, I am Dagwood. Do not judge me.

    BGaSS: I refuse to believe that Hootin’ Holler has anything as modern as radio (or electricity).

    FOOB: Young Michael Patterson mounts a horse who then drags him around, doing anything she pleases. This is a literary device known as “foreshadowing”.

    Love is… having a steering column jammed through your pelvis.

  7. Dennis Jimenez
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    BG&SS – Now if’n they paid in moonshine and ‘backy….

    Momma – Paid in gum – and magic beans – don’t forget to hold out for the magic beans….

    A3G – Well, he’s bound to be intimidated with the book self lined with tomes like Fear of Flying, Vally of the Dolls, and Women, Our Bodies, Ourselves….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  8. Sea Gale
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Who wouldn’t be nervous about meeting Margo?

  9. Izzy
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    And if by “young” you mean obviously dyed neon blonde hair…

  10. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    JP – Shockingly, Sam’s life of privilege and unearned reward is turning out to have a downside. He is completely unphased to find that the back-woods fishing cabin owner has a fully-stocked wine cellar and is willing to let him help himself to bottles of thirty-year-old wine that must be worth at least a few hundred dollars each. A normal person who isn’t used to having strangers walk up to them and hand them vast … tracts of land … might be a little suspicious as to what is going on.

    9CL – Yep, a week’s worth of dance porn, leading to a pit jump and hand fucking. Nice angle to choose for today’s stroke bait, Brooke. Can you do “upskirt from behind” for tomorrow’s entry?

  11. Schroduck
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Not only is he neither shy nor tall, he’s only a “young man” if by young man you mean “Generic Apartment 3-G blond wearing a suit the likes of which America hasn’t seen since the Kennedy era”.

  12. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Point:

    Wizard of Id rips stories from the headlines and brings them to life just 10 months later! Next week, a stinging indictment of the decision to shut down Google Buzz.

    Counterpoint:

    Wizard of Id doesn’t rip stories from the headlines. It’s grandmother carefully clips out headlines, mixes them in with photos of obscure relatives and an expired coupon for Fanta, then mails them inserted into a belated birthday card along with a check for $10.

  13. Narration Box
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MW: So, I forgot to add that Margo was wearing platform espadrilles. Stop busting my balls, Josh! It’s Monday for Crissakes.

  14. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#12): My kingdom for an ‘edit’ button that would allow me to fix “It’s” to “Its” and bury my shame.

  15. Snarkotix Addict
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    MW Ah, very clever! Using a two-panel format, they have separated “vacation with my father” and “nightmare.” Nice try, but we know what Dawn was thinking all along.

  16. Lucky
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Buckles – …has wandered off to Lost Forest.

    Snuffy Smith – Any candidate that promises to eliminate Snuffy Smith would get my vote.

    Spider-Man – “Oh yeah!? Well… you just got robbed because I’m a lousy superhero. Ha!”

  17. Flat 4 H
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    This story line with Margo looking for a new assistant shows promse. It has the look and feel of a lot of pornos I have seen.

    Not that I have seen that many. Actually, most have been described to me by a close friend. One whom I am trying to help with his “addiction”.

    I don’t have time for this kind of stuff. I am too busy going to church and cleaning my BVD player and the like.

    Carry on.

  18. Mibbitmaker
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

    And now for the fake fake news…

    *********************************

    A3G:
    Shulock: “I said a TALL, shy…”
    Bolle: “C’mon, Marg’, you know we only have so many actors to work with here (about 3 men…)!”
    Shulock: “Okay, wise guy, I won’t make him shy, either! So THERE!”

    Doones: Too many Pierce Hawthornes?

    H&L: IT’S SHRUNKEN THE BOY’S HEAD!!!

    MW: There’s alot that’s hard to believe, Dawn….

    S-M: Triple J’s shocked — shocked! — to learn what he already knew!
    (He did know, right? That sequence was too stupid to follow well)

  19. Fish K
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Good Lord…what thin, spidery object is levitating from the top of Francis’ head?

  20. Nekrotzar
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    The narration box wanted to be more accurate, but “Generic non-kerchief-wearing A3G male is pasted in and…” just didn’t fit.

  21. Charly
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: I didn’t know Anderson Cooper played second cello.

  22. Cheeky
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Lady, if you’d taken care of your niece’s every need, that would be incestuous and pervy and gross, and she wouldn’t be getting married right now.

  23. Pozzo
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Is Momma displaying some sort of gang symbol on her wall. Is she one of Hell’s Grannies or the Really, Really Crips?

  24. Snarkotix Addict
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MT Well, Rusty could be anywhere by now, even in the Southern Part of the State!

  25. Nekrotzar
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Momma: Ha! It’s funny because the workers are being exploited by the bourgeoisie, thus sending us headlong to the moment when the proletariat seizes the means of production. Remember: lollipops are the opiate of the masses.

  26. sporknpork
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    The punchline in Snuffy Smith really hit home with the help of that small zoom out to reveal a single container on a high-up wooden shelf.

  27. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    I think Francis has a sly look on his face in panel three because he’s thinking that the world would be a better place if he would push that miserable old bitch into the oven.

  28. Irrischano
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    So is Margo auditioning porn actors with a “casting couch” now? Given the rate at which Apartment 3-G plots progress, he should be down to his trousers by the winter solstice.

  29. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MW: As a helicopter rescues Dawn and Wilbur from the sinking cruise ship
    As Dawn finally begins to experience her inevitable epiphany. . . .
    There, fixed it for ya, Narration Box!

    And who besides me is incredibly disappointed that we didn’t get to see the Hot-Pink Helicopter Crew struggling to fit Wilber into a rescue harness?

    JP: Most people, sent down to a stranger’s wine cellar with a request to bring up a couple bottles, would choose something not too expensive—maybe not the cheapest bottle, but something decent and mid-range. We all know that Sam, on the other hand, went straight for the good stuff, as is his right.

    CtH: The art is in this strip is universally acknowledged to be craptacular, but I’ll tell you what: In 3 weeks, I’ll be looking at young men pretty much identical to that backwards-baseball-cap boy.

    MT: Rusty, you’re on horseback while they’re on foot, you know the territory while they’re unfamiliar with it, and you have a head start. The only way they could catch you is if you do something incredibly stup—oh, wait. Never mind.

    A3G: “You see, Ms. Magee, I frequent an internet site that describes you as a voracious devourer of souls and mistress of pain, so I’m both terrified and titillated at the moment!”

  30. langostino
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Margo is sure to take him on as a client, because he has “that face.”

    That face that every single 20- or 30-something man in the 3Giverse has.

  31. Doug Puthoff
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith and Luke are moochers! Ayn Rand would have a field day with them.

  32. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: This Mr. Graham guy is tall. He’s just on his knees before Margo, as is the custom.

  33. Droopy Says
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#27): Good idea. Not only would death-by-oven fit into Momma’s family heritage, but then Francis could take all the candy canes and lollipops from the outside walls and eat them himself.

  34. geekwhisperer
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MW And so the helicopter is supposed to…WE LANDED A FREAKING SUV-SIZED ROVER FULL OF AMAZING SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS ON MARS USING A SERIES OF KINETIC AND PYROTECHNIC MANEUVERS SO COMPLEX IT BOGGLES THE MIND …with his sandwiches and that stupid freaking jacket.

    sorry, a little distracted today.

  35. Marc
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    A3G- I’d say that the not so tall, shy, or young man is doing pretty well only feeling nervous. Most people, upon meeting Margo for the first time, feel bone chilling darkness and an inescapable feeling of impending doom.

    Mark Trail- The idiocy of MT villains never ceases to amaze me. Local bush pilot Mike Harris ran Mark down with his plane over a gum wrapper and now these two morons are off on a chase the mutant because he took a picture of their faces only. No pictures of them with the goat or the gun or anything. Just the faces. And nobody can reason that perhaps they don’t know that. Rusty narrated his every move out loud within earshot and full view of the sheep killers. The inane gets inaner…more inane…inane in the membrane.

    Mary Worth- I find it hard to believe that anybody might not have survived. What with the ship being 100 yards from shore, completely above water, and with no visivle damage at all.

    9CL- I’m sure the conductor won’t notice that his his cello player disappeared and some guy he’s never met, who’s never rehearsed, or seen the music is now sitting in his spot. But once he learns that it’s all being done for the most beautiful ballerina ever, I’m sure all will be forgiven.

    Luann- How is everyone in this strip not morbidly obese? The only place to eat in town is Weenie World, and they’re always there.

    Funky- To what do we owe thesudden reappearance of PTSD Wally, his girlfriend whose name I can’t remember, and the only likeable character in the strip, Buddy the good feelings dog. As long as Les doesn’t show up though, I won’t complain….. too much.

    Snuffy- And so it was decided that Hootin Holler was the worst town in America. A fact that interestingly enough, the townsfolk were proud of.
    (Comic Books Guy voice) Take that East St. Louis!

  36. Powers
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    A3G – I think this is the opening of the world’s worst porno flick. Note how she already has him calling her “Ms”. “I’m sorry, Ms. Magee, I’ve just never… done anything like this before…”

  37. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Hootin’ Holler must have an impressive network of tightly connected strings and tin cans.

  38. The Grandstander
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: As Dawn is being hoisted up to the rescue copter, everyone on the ship below is looking up her skirt. And all along, Wibur thought she was talking about some kind of exotic sammitch whenever she mentioned going out and “getting a Brazilian”.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A&J: Janis goes tablet. *insert size-queen jokes here*

    AD: aim for the knee.

    CdS: *Yoshika voice* I LOVE the beach!

    IP: unseen ASM, better than being seen in his own strip.

    Lio: at least he’s not sparkling. :\

    SBp: free range is SO last week.

    Crank: explosive hijinks will ensue. *yawn*

    OBH: OI! *grrrrrr*

    6Cx: KLANG!!!

    SFx: you can have it in any color you want. . . .

    F-: could only be improved by the incipient veggie-tentacle raep. why do I still have this strip bookmarked?

  40. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Powers (#36):
    I was just thinking that Margo is interviewing potential Gigolos.
    “I’m pretty shy, but hey, I have eight inches!”

  41. Calico
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Oops, #40 was me.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .meeting cute. *bleargh*

  43. Digger
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    A3G: At least the narration box got the “young” part right, since Mr. Graham just rolled off the Apartment 3-G Pretty-Boy Assembly Line only seconds earlier.

  44. Perky Bird
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Hootin’ Holler may have a high unemployment rate, but it must somehow also have an overabundance of food, given that its residents apparently wear large grilled sausages as footwear.

  45. HoHoJoHo
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo could be standing on a box, you know…

  46. seismic-2
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MW: So, where’s Wilbur? Did he try to leap off the cruise ship to the helicopter, miss, and get chopped up by the helicopter’s blades into thin-sliced sandwich meat? Life is brutal, but sometimes it is also just.

  47. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    RWO: Ah yes, how modern: show exercise equipment that was in fashion back when Kellogg was inventing a cereal to stop young people from masturbating.

    Six Chix: Golly! I guess the $8,875,000 that Al Gore paid for his ocean front home last year was discounted from $10,000,000.

  48. Dennis Jimenez
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Irrischano (#28): I can already hear the wah-wah guitar soundtrack – wacka-wacha-woo-wacka-wacka…..

  49. Noel Schornhorst
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    I’m confounded by the scribble in the corner of today’s ‘Momma’ strip. Just what the hell is that supposed to be?!

    Okay, granted, everything in ‘Momma’ is a horrible barely discernible scribble, but that… whatsit… is bothering me far more than it should.

  50. Dennis Jimenez
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Doug Puthoff (#31): Umm – Russian Pastrami on Hillbilly Whitebread Sammich….

  51. TheDiva
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    A3G: I look forward to finding out how Mr. Graham will get romantically entangled with Margo and then prove to be a completely unsuitable match.

    BGSS: Huh, I never would’ve figured Hooten Holler for a battleground state.

  52. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    FW: We all know what’s going to happen. Buddy will eat too many fried pickles and get CANCER…

  53. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT – Breaking news HEADLINE from THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE…
    “HEAD-ON HORSE COLLISION ON BIGHORN MOUNTAIN”

  54. T. Chicana
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MW: So I guess we’ll have to wait until Dawn gets back to Charterstone to have Mary spell it out for her that she’s LUCKY she SURVIVED. God.

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @HoHoJoHo (#45): Or a pedestal.

  56. dr
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: We know what’s going to happen here, nerd boy is in LOVE, therefore will be playing so beautifully that somehow she will distinguish his cello alone in a large orchestra. She will therefore dance so beautifully that the audience will swoon and then erupt in thunderous applause. The company will re-evaluate their decision to fire her. Sweaty hand sex and then things back to normal. Too predictable?

  57. TheDiva
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    9CL: Good thing this is Edda’s final performance, because if she keeps dancing like that she’s going to snap her ankle.

    FW: Buddy has also dyed his fur Russian Blue for some reason.

    Luann: Silly Delta. Don’t you know none of those Australian sheilas can hold a candle to Luann’s teeming bounty of Super-Special Inner Beauty?

    MT: Horses, do you have anything to throw in here?

    MW: I’m just impressed Dawn’s managing to hang on to the rescue lift just by lightly grabbing the straps around the Coast Guard’s body.

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “I had to fight for my right to draw butts!” (In other news, I’m not surprised the Fallacy of the Talking Killer is particularly pronounced in McEldowney’s universe.)

    Pluggers don’t own pencils.

    SM: Yeah, but he wasn’t defeated with a “Kick Me” sign. I’ve got to give this round to Jameson, sorry.

  58. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Noel Schornhorst (#49): “I’m confounded by the scribble in the corner of today’s ‘Momma’ strip. Just what the hell is that supposed to be?”

    That’s just the remains of the old kitchen curtains Momma’s had hanging since the last time her kitchen was remodeled back in 1951.

  59. Liam
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    MW-Watch as they are rescued by the United States Coast Guard which operates nowhere near Italy. Why because the writers felt like they haven’t insulted Italy enough in this storyline.

    A3G-Oh my god! Look it’s Graham. The famous Graham is one of Margo’s first clients.

    RMMD-If you are losing a companion you are asking the wrong doctor for advice.

  60. Mark B.
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Color me a little disappointed that Wilbur and Dawn didn’t try to desperately swim for it and become sharkbait. Wilbur could have demonstrated his heroism by sacrificing himself and gumming up the shark’s jaws with mayonnaise.

  61. pastordan
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (y#358): What is Hee-Haw, if not a live-action cartoon? Also, God I miss Buck Owens.

  62. Wally Winkerbean
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#52):

    Hopefully they will run into Ed Crankshaft, Wally will have a horrible flashback and will kill two strips with one deep fried pickle.

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    what Morpheus didn’t tell Neo.

    meanwhile. . . .

    Ocelotta squee.

    corgi doing a fennec impersonation.

    fluffy corgsqui.

    o dear, CORGIPALOOZA 2012 (8+ minutes of frappage and fun.)

  64. nescio
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#33): I was Anonymous #27, my cookies were deleted last week. Glad I don’t have to rely on Momma to bake more.

  65. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    ocelotta squee relinked. (the ONE time I don’t preview .. . )

  66. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y243): *gleeful squigglez*

    yesterday was a good day for petting dogs. Along with the beagle/setter mix yestermorn, I got to pet all the usual neighborhood dogs, including the “growing like a weed” rottie pup. (twice!) and the Westies next door.

  67. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    I think I’ve solved the Momma mystery. The panel-three squiggle is just her ridiculously short curtains (as seen in panel two) drawn even more shoddily and partially blocked by the whitespace around Francis’ looming head. (This is way too much time analyzing the art of Momma.)

  68. seismic-2
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: Mr. Graham is so tall, shy, and nervous about meeting Margo that he enters the room by crawling on his knees. The preferred way of applying for a job with Margo is off course to beg while supine on the floor in front of her, but then we would never be able to see that. More grovelling, mule!

  69. Patrick formerly of Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    dr @56 has totally nailed it. No need for me to make the identical prediction as exactly the same thought crossed my mind this morning. It’s almost too easy.

    Mary Worth: Just another day where the depth of field is so bad the helicopter looks like it’s parked on the water and Dawn and the harness guy are also standing on it next to a quarter scale section of the cruise ship. Apparently they were out of money for the aerial perspective budget.

  70. The Ghost of Jarrod
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    FC – The better question is this: How is Dolly watching the Olympics live? Is she a witch?

  71. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Archie – Fred Andrews awoke one afternoon from uneasy dreams one afternoon in 1990 to find himself transformed into a gigantic insect.

  72. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#71): Archie – Fred Andrews awoke from uneasy dreams one afternoon in 1990 to find himself transformed into a gigantic insect.

    There’s a lot of that going around.

  73. Alter Ego
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    love is… distracted driving.

  74. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT – I’m confused. HOW can Rusty and Cherry both separately be riding Roy Roger’s horse, ‘Trigger’, while galloping toward each other from different directions?
    …OH, I forgot, we’re talking about Lost Forest which is located in an extremely desolate region of THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE STATE where the recycled clip art supply has become extremly limited these days due to their poor local economy!

  75. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Why does Slylock doubt Shady Shrew’s claim to have had hot sex with Morgan Fairchild in a riverboat on the moon?

  76. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Dick – Junior Tracy: “I hate Moon Day!”

  77. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Herb – “You you don’t need a hearing aid.”
    Great. Now I’ll have the jingle for “Double Chex” going through my head.

  78. NoahSnark
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Francis tried to get a raise at the candy store, but had to quit when he discovered his boss had sour balls.

  79. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    love is… …a crashing bore. No. Two crashing bores.

  80. Tony
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m not an A3G expert, but it seems to me that Mr. Graham looks a lot like the young man that LuAnn almost married, but his parents disapproved (didn’t they want LuAnn to wear a weird long-sleeved wedding dress?) He also looks like Rick, Scott, and all the other youngish men in A3G. Now, cynical people would say that the artist just doesn’t have the ability to render different-looking people, and can only draw one young man who fills in all the male roles. I think the artist is trying to make the point that we’re all actually one person, one collective consciousness, and the physical differences between us are mere earthly illusions. That’s why the characters often change appearance between panels. Am I on to something here?

  81. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Nutz – Small Foob shout-out in the background today.

    @Mr. Manchineel (#3): If Griffy’s comic contains four classic comic titles about which nobody who isn’t Bill Griffith cares

    I care. (Also, there are six titles in the strip. Which two didn’t count?)

  82. Chip Whittle
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: I’m looking forward to Harpo and Chico popping up and the music suddenly breaking into the Theme From Gilligan’s Island.

    Get Fuzzy: Whew! After nearly two weeks of seeing the outside of the apartment and the odd value systems of cats and dogs in the world, we’re finally back on golf strips! I mean, Bucky makes up movie title strips!

    Love Is… Mrs. Love Is has failed to off the current office-holder! She must try again!

    Nancy and Sluggo are about to be consumed in the life-destroying ravages of a gamma ray burster at short range! But…uh…God, so enjoy!

    Ollie and Quentin: I always like it when Quentin goes all bowling-ball. I can’t explain it.

  83. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#4): …would the whole population really get so wrapped up that they’d automatically revile the real-life man playing the Bad Guy in the ring?
    They somehow automatically know that he’s the crime boss! Because, you know… somehow!

    @sporknpork (#26): The punchline in Snuffy Smith really hit home with the help of that small zoom out to reveal a single container on a high-up wooden shelf.
    Now, thar’s a strip that urns its laffs! YAK! YAK!

    @TheDiva (#57): Good thing this is Edda’s final performance, because if she keeps dancing like that she’s going to snap her ankle.
    I think she’s doing choreography from ALL THAT JAZZ, where everybody was either lying down or jumping through the air all the time.

  84. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#y309):

    “I’ve never gotten into The Doctor, but was always impressed with the Whovians in Houston who worked the public TV fundraiser every year in exchange for having it run their show. I can’t think of any other program that raised such a dedicated bunch of fans.”

    Sticking to PBS shows, RED GREEN? Fans of same in the Twin Cities came out of the woodwork in the Twin Cities every year to work the fundraiser, mostly in costumes.

  85. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y314):

    Along the same line, I’m tempted to refuse to patronize any of the million local festivals that render “Thirdringsuburb Days” as “Thirdringsuburb Daze” and think themselves clever.

  86. Charterstoned
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#3): A3G – Is this a word problem????

  87. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#2): There is some sort of harness around Dawn, but the color monkeys totally dropped the ball on it. Or the harness was deliberately color-coordinate with Dawn’s usual purple apparel.

  88. Downpuppy, CPA
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#84): Red Green costumes? How can you tell?

  89. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#18): A3G: Seriously, a comic strip about the conflict between and up-and-coming feminist cartoonist trying to pay the bills with work on a legacy strip paired with a crusty old-school artist just trying to serve out his remaining time would probably be more interesting than A3G. One of those “Odd Couple” things.

    Hmm, or maybe more of an “Incredible Journey” thing:

    Margaret: “Frank, we’re lost in the wilderness! We have to make it back to the studio to finish the strip!”
    Frank: “Aw, quit yer bitchin. I know which way to go!”
    Margaret: “Hey, what’s that strange animal? It’s funny looking!”
    Frank: “Leave it alone….”
    Margaret: “Owwww!”
    Frank: *sigh*
    The Real Mark Trail: *punches the ‘animal’ into next week* I’ll save you!
    Spiderman: “Owww! Humiliated again!”

  90. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Cheeky (#22): This is RMMD you’re reading. Incestuous, pervy and gross are its stock-in-trade.

  91. Walker of Dog
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo just looks tall because she’s wearing high heels and standing on a pile of submissives.

    MT: Worst joust ever.

    JP: Sam is really roughing it here – the kitchen countertops aren’t even granite!

    FC: Originally published in 1948.

    Phan: All (gasping): “Mr. Withers!”

  92. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    S-M (panel 4): JJJ says, “and it was totally worth it.” (He hates Spider-Man, remember, Stan? Watching him get pwned by C-9 is easily worth two Rolex watches.)

    JP: Guess Sam is tapped out after Fishing Tales of Ribaldry, because now is a great time for a bottle of Ménage â Trois.

  93. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    MTIdeal Outcome: Cherry and Rusty’s horses have a head-on collision. Rusty is thrown face-first onto the sharp rocks, which actually improves his appearance.

    Probable Outcome: Something far less interesting.

  94. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#63): Oh man, that video was 8 minutes and 13 seconds of pure joy.

  95. pastordan
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Arlo and Janis: Can someone explain what’s going on in the last panel? Is she telling the store clerk to fish her out that one? What? Are my bifocals not strong enough to understand this joke?

    Apt. 3-G: Compare and contrast.

    Blondie: Same joke works here, and is also better in Spanish.

    9 Chickweed Lane While we’re on the subject of Things That Mystify Pastor Dan, can someone explain to me who the target demographic for this strip is? Perverts? Crazy old cat ladies? Crazy old cat lady perverts?

    Slylock Fox: Can shrews be sentenced to 18 months in federal prison, minus time served before trial, by a kangaroo court? Inquiring vigilantes want to know.

  96. AhClem
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#93):
    #93 was me. Damn disappearing cookies!

  97. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#74): To be fair, pretty much all palominos look alike. (Incoming: accusations of racism from the Palomino Defense Fun).

  98. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#97): Oh, so that’s what “.pdf” stands for; I’ve always wondered!

  99. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Mr. Gigi and the Squid: I don’t know if this is the first use of the term “nipple clamps” in a syndicated strip (are all the strips on gocomics.com syndicated)? But I’m pretty sure it’s the first time “Nipple clamps” and “E-Z Bake Oven” have ever been used together.

    ASM: Sorry, Spidey. You still lose. Jameson doesn’t claim to be an “amazing” superhero crime-fighter.

    A3G: What kind of person who needs a publicist is nervous about meeting a publicist?

  100. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#98): The Palomino Defense Fund gets royalties every time you create a .pdf file. They are enormously rich. Cross them and you wake up to find a severed jockey’s head in your bed.

  101. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Luann – Well it took Quill, what, five years to get to first base with Luann, so I doubt he is already knuckle-deep in anatomy studies with the Sheilas downunder.

    Of course, Quill is turned on by inner beauty, the kind that Luann has oozing out of every pore, but is invisible to mere mortals.

    “Did you find my inner beauty yet? My jaw is getting sore!”
    “No, still ugly all the way down. But I thought I felt something, let me try again. Open your mouth a little wider this time, and try to suppress that gag reflex.”

  102. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#89): Turns out Shulock herself is 62. I assumed the Six Chix ladies were younger than that. Apparently you have to qualify for AARP membership to get assigned a legacy strip.

  103. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#95): 9 Chickweed Lane … target demographic.

    Perverted, nerdy, smug, onanistic cartoonists.

  104. Mark B.
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Is that Jerry Sandusky appearing in Mother Goose and Grimm? That’s dark, man.

  105. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#84): Ah! Good for them. This all happened after I’d calcified my memories of the Whovians (ca 1983), but I should be able to remember Red Green. I called my public station and raved about it after I saw it one time, and not long after that, it became part of the line-up. Not implying causation: RG’s star was rising.

    @Cloudbuster (#103): Perverted, nerdy, smug, onanistic cartoonists.
    I’m assuming the ess before the period was just a slip of the finger.

  106. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    MT: What i find fascinating is the little rolled-up blanket Cherry has strapped to her saddle. Why? Who does that?

  107. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#105): No, I bet Greg Evans also reads 9CL.

  108. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#3): Are we allowed to disregard friction? Answers in metric, or traditional English units?

  109. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#106): Someone whose life experiences have taught her that venturing out for a simple horse ride will likely end up in a kidnapping, extended time lost in the woods, or some tense hours in a cave with a mountain lion.

  110. kkarenb
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Gee, if only there was a writing implement which would allow the writer to make changes when he makes a mistake.
    Seriously, does anyone who is not a genius work crossword puzzles in pen? And geniuses and Pluggers are mutually exclusive terms.

    Mark Trail – Time to activate the Mark Trail Universal Comment: Can this possibly get any more stupid?

    Rex Morgan – I intensely dislike this makeover of Melissa. She used to be a spinsterish, solid, stuck-in-her-ways old lady. Now she comes across as a rich, entitled bitch.

  111. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: This “Mr. Graham” looks like the missing Linski.

  112. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#29) said: “JP: Most people, sent down to a stranger’s wine cellar with a request to bring up a couple bottles, would choose something not too expensive—maybe not the cheapest bottle, but something decent and mid-range. We all know that Sam, on the other hand, went straight for the good stuff, as is his right.”

    Sam’s behavior is logical. When you never have to pay for anything, you might as well not pay for the most expensive bottle in the cellar.

  113. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5): In that case, cleaning the apartment bathroom could be more interesting than I had figured.

  114. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: I don’t know why Conan O’Brian is disguised as a blonde, but hilarity is about to ensue! I hope the bear is involved.

  115. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: If they’re going to call him “tall” and “shy” they might as well go for the gold and call him “distinctive looking” as well.

    MW: On the bright side, Dawn may be heartened later on when the passengers who made it onto the lifeboats send her thank-you notes for wearing a dress.

    WofI: So how’s the ten month lead time treating you?

    C-Shaft: Pam’s look of appalled panic in the last panel is, if anything, more understated than the situation warrants.

    Crock: This is where you say, “Oh, sorry. I’ll go move my car. Be right back.”

    Archie: “Sorry to tell you, dad, but you’re not awake yet. Here come the giant spider’s digestive juices.”

    JP: As Bea and Avery toast Thomas Hardy, Avery has a brilliant idea. A remake of “Jude the Obscure”, set in the VR-enhanced Hong Kong of 2065. He’s about to get on the horn with Leo DiCaprio and make it happen.

    RMMD: Sonia Hobbs from Momma? Is that you?

    H&L: Not a great punchline, but not as offensive as the “Why can’t the _____s stay in their _____” Mad-Lib could have made it.

    GT: Wouldn’t this—or, you know, sometime in the past—be a good time for Steve to get a prosthetic arm? Or does he just like odd numbers?

    Blondie: Watching Dagwood watch beach volleyball? Pass. Watching Blondie play beach volleyball? That I could go for.

    Phantom: You can tell this revelation comes as a shock. Especially to the old guy in the back, the one foaming at the mouth.

    S-M: “Damn! You’re right. I thought I had just left my wallet at home.”

    SFx: Slylock knows that if you gave Shady Shrew a nickel it would die of loneliness, so the odds of his owning a priceless century-old car are somewhat less than nil.

    OBH: Aw, why did Grandpa refuse to take the call from good old reliable Nathan?

    Marvin: New jokes? Where we’re going we don’t need new jokes.

  116. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#34): Mary Worth- I find it hard to believe that anybody might not have survived. What with the ship being 100 yards from shore, completely above water, and with no visivle damage at all.

    In the real Costa Concordia disaster, some 30 people died (out of about 4000). Most of them were somehow trapped inside the ship. If you could make it to the weather decks, you were ok.

  117. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#84): Iowans are such Red Green fanatics that for a few years in a row, Iowa won the annual national fundraising-for-RG award. I think the award was a statue of a dead possum. Then Utah won and took the possum away, but I think Iowa won it back the following year — can’t remember for sure. Anyway, as an award for winning so often, a busload of Iowans went north to be filmed as Possum Lodge members for one show. I don’t remember any notable acting, but they had fun.

  118. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#81): Plastic Man and Nancy.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#108): No friction. Archaic Sumerian measurements are preferred, but metric and English units are acceptable.

  119. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#40):/@Calico (#41) said: “I was just thinking that Margo is interviewing potential Gigolos.
    “I’m pretty shy, but hey, I have eight inches!”

    “I have eight inches!” is what the narration box meant by “tall”. Margo always likes to be on top.

  120. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Edda is such an amazing dancer that she can do it with her eyes closed and her beautiful long dark lashes downswept against her damask cheeks. I worship you, Edda! Worship! Just as Brooke intended!

  121. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#108): @Mr. Manchineel (#118): You’re only allowed to disregard friction because none of the questions referenced 9CL.

  122. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#118): Well, those are good choices. I also care about Scrooge (presumably Carl Barks’s “Uncle Scrooge”) and Lulu (who I take to be John Stanley’s “Little Lulu”). I don’t recall reading Tom Corbett. I do remember reading Baby Huey, and can’t honestly say I invest much caring in it. So.

  123. Percival Dunwoody
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    JP: Apparently Sam, the wine connoisseur, has selected three bottles of the finest Missouri wine to be found. Mmmmm, sweet. He is so concerned about having to share this fine beverage that he appears to have hidden one of the three bottles he brought up from the cellar somewhere between panels one and two.

  124. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    MT — What did the horses ever do to deserve this?

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Now that is scary.

    Love is…: I’m just guessing. Created by some random word generation software?

    Zippy: Mr. Toad is back! Hooray!

    SG: Now that’s kinda sweet. Gary, the obese retired vampire, saving his friend Travis, the disembodied head in a jar, from going over a waterfall.

    // And to be able to write a sentence like that, accurately, about a real comic strip. Eh, Spiderbrick?

    Argyle: It’s funny because the soldiers are centipedes, and have 100 legs, so… Hilburn, honestly?

  126. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: What kind of an “agency” does Margo run again?

  127. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Forget the gigolo theory, alas. Mr. Graham has all the smoldering magnetic sexual appeal of Billy Budd.

  128. Dennis Jimenez
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#127): Margo will be sure to see that he’s well hung….

  129. Anachrosaurus
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: Please, whatever gods may be, let that not be a rescue helicopter, but rather an elite cabal of opportunistic kidnappers/perverts attracted by Dawn’s Monroesque fluttering skirt and willingness to dry-hump any uniformed stranger rather than get her clothes damp (from the sea, that is)… If only Moy and Co. were up to it.

  130. Dale
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Funky

    All the smirks should include a lolling tongue as in Snuffy Smith.

  131. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#126): It’s just a plain, unmodified “agency,” as in “the faculty of exerting power; the state of being in action; action; instrumentality.” Catering? Curating? Event planning? Whatever, wherever, whenever, however — Margo gets it done or [someone else] dies trying.

  132. Snarkotix Addict
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @ #106 Cloudbuster
    … little rolled-up blanket Cherry has strapped to her saddle.
    Why? Ranger Tom Martin
    Who does that? Ranger Tom Martin

  133. Dale
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#3):

    2500 calories (the dietary kind) = 37,382 punches. What percentage of his intake can he spare for punching?

  134. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

  135. Cynthia
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Did nobody at the wrestling match notice that El Guerrero Latino’s skin color has gone from being brown to white (during the match) to brown again?

  136. Marc
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#93): As long as neither of the horses are injured. Cherry and Rusty can get as maimed as they want, I just want the horses to make it out alright. They had no choice in what family they were going to be owned by.

  137. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

  138. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Cynthia (#135): You mean within the strip? Nah.

  139. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    “Mark Trail- The idiocy of MT villains never ceases to amaze me. Local bush pilot Mike Harris ran Mark down with his plane over a gum wrapper and now these two morons are off on a chase the mutant because he took a picture of their faces only.”

    Ah yes. I still fondly recall one arc from maybe six to eight years ago where the bad guys had hidden swag in a hollow tree; Mark found out (and didn’t tell anyone else) and moved it and then hid nearby to get an “incriminating” photo of — er, of two random guys looking inside the hole in a random hollow tree.

    I’m surpised they didn’t give them the death penalty for that. Hollow tree gawking is a serious offense in Lost Forest.

  140. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#139): Did the bad guys find Cuss Keebler Elf in the hollow tree?

  141. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#133): Anything not used by sulking may be applied to punching. Also, assume he is left handed and that his victims’ pants can absorb up to 50 newtons.

  142. Sequitur
    August 6th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#126):

    Apartment 3-G: What kind of an “agency” does Margo run again?

    Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

    //Especially Big Balls.

  143. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#34): Rube Goldberg is victorious!

  144. tallyHO
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#132):
    … little rolled-up blanket Cherry has strapped to her saddle.
    Why? Ranger Tom Martin
    Who does that? Ranger Tom Martin

    Wha?

    Ranger Tom Martin ™?
    The Ranger Tom Martin ™?

    I find that highly unlikely RTM ™ had anything to do…
    Wait.
    Unless you are saying…you seem like you are insinuating something!!

    Are you saying Ranger Tom Martin ™ is having an affair with a rolled up blanket that is strapped to a saddle?

    Just how lost is this forest?

  145. seismic-2
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#122): I assume that the referenced version of “Nancy” is not the Ernie Bushmiller strip but the John Stanley comic book, in which case it is certainly worth caring about (just as is Stanley’s “Little Lulu”). Oona Goosepimple!

  146. HAnzMFG
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Hootin’ Holler exists in a strange parallel universe where Rush Limbaugh chastises hillbilly redneck Republicans such as Snuffy instead of ignoring their welfare-absorbing tendencies, and regularly takes callers from stoned hippy Dittoheads, who are happy to agree with him.

  147. HAnzMFG
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Mein Gott! He is right!

  148. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @HoHoJoHo (#45):

    “A3G: Margo could be standing on a box, you know…”

    Or on a serf.

  149. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#46):

    “MW: So, where’s Wilbur? Did he try to leap off the cruise ship to the helicopter, miss, and get chopped up by the helicopter’s blades into thin-sliced sandwich meat?”

    That would put him in a rather deli cut position.

  150. Calico
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Noel Schornhorst (#49):
    It looked to me like a dead rabbit upside down, then I realized it is supposed to be a curtain.

  151. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Now, I’m not saying anyone should notice ‘Buckles’ but if anyone did happen to notice ‘Buckles’ you would notice that either Jack Elrod or Jack Elrod’s clip art file is moonlighting in ‘Buckles’.

  152. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#151): Jackelrod doesn’t HAVE a clip art file. Jackelrod IS a clip art file. That Jackelrod ball you see in every MT strip is the comics equivalent of a “Shutterstock” watermark across a stock photo.

  153. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#152): Am I the only one who wonders whether the courteous gentleman who is a MT artist and who sometimes posts here, is ever offended? (Well, if so, isn’t he foolish to come here, then!)

  154. Hei of the Zaraki Company
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#84):
    [Old Man] Muffaroo, I was one of those dedicated Houston Doctor Who fans that manned the phones for KUHT during their pledge drives sometime in the mid 80′s. I was also on a float during a St. Patrick’s Day parade dressed as one of the big kahaunas of Gallifrey. Good times. (Still a Whovian, and a rabid David Tennant fangirl, although thanks to my daughter, I also watch a lot of anime. But I think I am a bit too old to cosplay alas.)

  155. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    MOMMA — I’m intrigued by the existence of the candy store. The only actual candy stores I know about these days are kinda-upscale places that sell expensive chocolates, bon-bons, etc. Maybe in the MOMMAworld, there are still candy stores like the stores in my youth, like the ancient one that used to stand next to my old grade school, stores that sell a huge variety of cheap candy, wherein good (dumb) little girls shop when they get permission from their mothers, while their less-reputable and smarter little brothers never bother to ask for permission but just spend every nickel they can get their hands on. I must say Francis is so thin he looks like he never ate candy in his life. I hate you, Francis.

  156. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    ASM – I’m gonna make myself a couple of those punctuation thought balloons so popular in Spiderman these days ( ! ?) and bring them into my next staff meeting. I can’t wait to whip one of them out as soon as someone says something stupid or convoluted.

    RMMD – Every need, Melissa? Really? Every need? What exactly are you telling us?

    MW – Detecting the very strong smell of Dawn being lifted in her cocktail dress, schools of fish descend on the ship as if summoned by Aquaman.

    GT – In the spirit of my thought balloons in the staff meeting, I will have a sign made that says SHANK! I will take it with me when I golf with my friends. I’m sure they will be amused.

    MT – Because neither horse is outfitted with a GPS, a head on collision seems imminent. And there’ll be hamburger all over the road in….well…there….where they are.

    Jump Start – Marcus has a tattoo of that Dali-esque curtain in Momma’s front room.

  157. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#110):

    “Pluggers – Gee, if only there was a writing implement which would allow the writer to make changes when he makes a mistake.
    Seriously, does anyone who is not a genius work crossword puzzles in pen? And geniuses and Pluggers are mutually exclusive terms.”

    Using a pen is cheating. I’m a self-identified Plugger, and I work crossword puzzles (and cryptograms) in my head. It has nothing to do with genius; just practice and a good short-term memory. I’ll admit to resorting to using a pen for working Sudoki, though.

    (I’ll also admit that I can’t always finish the more difficult crossword puzzles that way, and that I have an unfair advantage with cryptograms since the idiots that do the ones in my local paper are so predictable that most of the answers tend to one of a half dozen standard format variations.)

    I’m lousy at bridge problems and don’t even try chess problems, though. (Not that a pen would help much with either, unless I used it to blot out some of my opponents cards or pieces, though.)

  158. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Have we ever seen Margo’s apparent assistant, Carla, before?

  159. CanuckDownSouth
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Cynthia (#135): They’re more confused about having two distinct sets of memories: one set of colourists got it right – Phantom was using body makeup of some kind to appear Latino. Presumably they’re ignoring the clearly ridiculous peach-toned fighter memories as they watch the perfectly reasonable spectacle of masked men pummelling each other every week to determine whether the courts and rule of law will be in force for a few days or not.

  160. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Edda is doing the exact same dance that Thorax did in Sunday’s strip. Look out, Amos, there’s gonna be pieces of that stage flying, as well as all of Edda’s fellow dancers being slingshot into the audience.

  161. CanuckDownSouth
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#155): there are some not-ridiculously-priced candy-by-the-pound places. One at a small mall here in MN and a fun chain (Sugar Mountain?) I’ve seen back in Ontario.

  162. Dawn Weston
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Anachrosaurus (#129):

    “MW: Please, whatever gods may be, let that not be a rescue helicopter, but rather an elite cabal of opportunistic kidnappers/perverts attracted by Dawn’s Monroesque fluttering skirt and willingness to dry-hump any uniformed stranger rather than get her clothes damp”

    (My forthcoming) Life is brothel.

  163. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#34): I, myself, had bet the mortgage payment on Curiosity augering into the Martian landscape somewhere north of Mach. I am very impressed.

  164. Mark B.
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#157): I use a pen on the NY Times Sunday crossword, although on some of the more difficult ones, I end up with a lot of write overs and it gets a little messy. I don’t bother with the daily ones in my local paper, way way too easy. The key to the NYT puzzles is figuring out the theme which is hinted in the title. Once you get that, it becomes a LOT easier.

  165. tallyHO
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#153):

    I wanna say that he said he mainly does the Sunday ones. Though, I thought he said he did some of the dailies, too.

    Maybe he isn’t the only one who Ghosts for Elrod*

    One thing I’m pretty sure of is that he says he lunches with Jack Elrod**. So, you gotta guess he at least approves of what goes out. And, he may wish to keep his look, warts and all. Maybe to Jack Elrod the art is still as good as it gets.

    Now, if Jack Elrod, or JackElrod Ball, were to show up and correct me, I’d say:
    You and what army of White-Out, Plugger-dude? sir…..

    *that movie is a 1940s tear-jerker. It would not surprise me that with the war on, they somehow found ways to recycle the tears back when it was in theaters.

    ** Oh, to be a fly on that restaurant’s walls.
    Buzzing from hither to yon/ hovering above beef bullion/
    licking grease off the ceiling/
    once then twice with feeeeeling.

    /sideshow bob-esque

    Seriously, though, the quip I was going to write:

    If I had lunch meetings with Elrod, every five minutes, I’d try to squeeze in a “Holy Mackerel”, an occasional “Hot Dog” (maybe with a little “Diggity” added for variation), at least one “Horse Feathers!”, I’d be totally squeamish about pulling out a “Poppycock”, but, I’d call him on the “B.S”.

  166. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#91):

    Phan: All (gasping): “Mr. Withers!”

    “And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling tourists.”

  167. geekwhisperer
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    MT Ok, so the poacher dudes saw Rusty trying to take their pictures. Rusty rode away on his horse.

    End of story right? Horse is faster than man on foot, certainly not enough time to get a shot off at him. We’re done here.

    But along comes Cherry, who has to enter the comic’s atmosphere with her heat shield, then deploy her parachute to get below the speed of sound in the thin atmosphere. Once they are only a few hundred meters above the surface Cherry and her horse will be maneuvered into position by a jet-powered skycrane, then lowered down with a series of cables.

  168. Little Guy
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Kwanzaa in August: Okay, I’m lost. I know Curtis knocked down the Little Old Lady, but I don’t see the threat that she’s going to call the police. Yeah, she said he knocked her down, and implied that Curtis could “volunteer” to clean the litter box, but I don’t see the Burberesque anvils.

    S4th: This is going to end with Ted going all Walter White on Sally’s mom, right Ces?

  169. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Frazz, take those big ass clippers you’re wielding and go cut Caulfield’s head off. I’m sure we will feel better when that is done. And, Jesus, I’m surprised that ultra-precious name, “Caulfield” (Catcher in the Rye….Get it? Get it?) hasn’t made its way into 9CL. God, I hate this strip.

  170. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G — What’s this guy an “applicant” for? If he’s going to work for Margo, I hope she’ll deck him out in a wig and high heels and French maid’s outfit. Cliche, yeah, but at least it would be a hint of wickedness. The NYC of A3G is so very, very bland that it makes some small Iowa towns look racy.

  171. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#161): Ah, interesting! Thank you. I need to get out more.

  172. Little Guy
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#70): Some of the events *are* being broadcast live, albeit they’re are 6-7 hours ahead. Water Polo at 8 PM local time, for example.

  173. tallyHO
    August 6th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#158):
    Apartment 3-G: Have we ever seen Margo’s apparent assistant, Carla, before?

    Well, if I’m not mistaken, that’s Nina’s Dad in Drag.
    If I am mistaken, I’m sticking with Carla being Nina’s Dad in Drag.
    If Nina’s Dad shows up while Carla is in the room, I call BS because they rarely show below the waist, so how would we know if that was really Nina’s Dad in the same room with Daddy Drag. Obviously Daddy Drag would have the incentive and the money to hire a Nina’s Dad look-alike.

    Oh, to try and make that strip entertaining…..oh my gosh, by golly…it is either way too easy or easy enough.

  174. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#145): Could be. Stanley’s Nancy has its charms. His Peanuts weren’t quite on target, sadly, and we never mention his Tintin.
    My favorite Stanley is “Thirteen Going on Eighteen.” The stuff is poetry from about issue 3 on. “Kookie” is also, like, pretty funny, but only lasted two issues, man.

    @Hei of the Zaraki Company (#154): Good times. We lived near Brad… uhm, forgetting his name. He had an apartment in the same place as us, near the dome. We left not too awfully long after he was bitten by another fan. We moved to Virginia, and saw her in the company of a big-name artist (whose work today looks better than ever, I must say) at our local convention and wondered if we should warn him. I still harbor some resentment over selling her a functioning Thingmaker with some viable Plastigoop, and she never made me the cockroach I said was part of the deal.

    @Shrug (#157): I cheat. And when I make a mistake, I usually have to fix it in ways that scream out “HE MADE A MISTAKE!” What really peeves me is if the mistake was just starting in the wrong box, and not a real MISTAKE mistake.

    @Chaze (#169): I read that damn book. The author had the foresight to croak beforehand, so I was unable to get satisfaction for the time I wasted on it.

  175. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#47): Frank, I was wondering if you had any intention of ever continuing The Sunday Comic. That was some funny stuff!

  176. Uncle Lumpy
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#164) and @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#174), inter alia:

    You guys need one of these. Srsly, the x-word inker’s friend.

  177. kkarenb
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#157): That sounds like a good memory exercise. However, it is ingrained in me that I have to have the answers written down. And I never use a pen, even on the easy ones.

    @Mark B. (#164): I haven’t done the NYT Sunday puzzles in ages – I got away from them and never went back to doing them. I’m a big fan of the NYT daily puzzles, though. They start out very easy on Monday and get more difficult as the week progresses. Some of the Saturday puzzles are really tough. I never use a pen, though, always a pencil.

  178. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#155): There are those mall candy stores, which despite my sweet tooth, I never go into because of the overwhelming unnaturally bright colors of the “foods” in there. Maybe Francis also likes it because it’s right in between Victoria’s Secret and Claire’s.

  179. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#174): JD Salinger knew he had caught lightning in a bottle and really had nothing more to offer “the phonies” who loved his book, so he didn’t try. I think they call it Harper Lee Syndrome.

  180. Occipital Lobe
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#149): “That would put him in a rather deli cut position.”

    Thank you. You must die now.

  181. Liam
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G-I’m sorry I’m so nervous. They don’t let me out of my cage often so I don’t have much experience talking to people.

  182. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Occipital Lobe (#180): I didn’t know Les posted here.

  183. Shrug
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Minneapolis seems to have several non-Mall candy stores, though I’ve only been in one in the last couple of years. It specialized in candy imported from other countries and hence not usually available in Yer Basic Candy Store, and I asked them to carry Violet Crumbles from the UK, of which Mrs. Shrug is very fond (she lived there for several years as an Air Force family kid). They tried but reported failure.

    I don’t think I have a favorite candy — as a good Plugger, my food obsessions tend to run more to meat-and-potato-based comfort foods. Grease and gravy, yum. (I would add “and salt,” but I’m trying to cut down on that.)

    I wonder if there is any candy out there based on grease and gravy?

  184. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Zippy – The current governor of Pennsylvania is a fictional character from a cheesy 1950′s space opera?? This explains so much. In fact, I sense a subtle editorial comment on the Gov in Wikipedia’s Space Cadet article: “The science of the Tom Corbett universe was, in hindsight, wrong in many places.”

  185. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#176): You’re talking to somebody who used to work with crud like that. I don’t miss it a bit.

    @Chaze (#179): I had to read the Japanese book Botchan (in translation) for a class, and got the same impression: a first-person narrative about a jerk who does nothing but gripe. There was no level on which I could say I was glad I’d read it, or got anything out of it.

    @Shrug (#183): I may have seen Violet Crumbles at Wegman’s. Next time I’m getting a roll of jellies or a Crunchie bar, I’ll have a look.

  186. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#185): I need to go see if the place in Fairport ever got Marmite-flavoured Walker’s Crisps.

  187. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#185): Oooooooh…..Wegman’s. I live in the home of Wegman’s – upstate NY. I have been known to spend days at a time there. They have everything I need. Alright, I’ve admitted being a fat guy.

  188. debussy fields
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    FC–The Family Circus’s daily take on the Games is ruining the Olympics for me.

  189. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Is the mission statement of Margo’s M&M Agency to provide clients with public relations that melts in your mouth and not in your hands?

  190. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#188): You’re getting Dolly’s tweets, too? Dang! Has the girl never heard of “spoiler alerts?”

  191. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s Family Circus: Why is Billy always on Greenwich Mean Time?

  192. Lawrence Fechtenberger, Interstellar Officer Candidate
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#184): What are you trying to do, start an argument?

  193. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else but me think that the Jump Start crew with their nurses, multigenerational cops, English teachers, genius kids and scores of NFL linemen, make the Huxtables look like a collection of pimps and crackheads?

  194. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#190): Someone needs to start a Twitter account for Dolly’s Olympical observations right now!

    I even have the first Tweet:

    “Mommy says she’s disappointed in Daddy’s ‘limpdicks, but I didn’t even know he was in London!”

  195. Mug Mellish
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

  196. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Lawrence Fechtenberger, Interstellar Officer Candidate (#192): You’re right. I apologize for my hasty and ill-considered remarks. I shouldn’t have called Tom Corbett, Space Cadet “cheesy”.

  197. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#194): I caught Billy and Jeffy being nasty. They said they were limpic resslers, but I dunno….

  198. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#193): I kind of like Armstrong’s Jump Start, maybe because I live near Philadelphia and get the local references. It can be sappy, though. Sort of an African American FOOB. (I usually like Edge City, too, so I guess I lose my Comics Curmudgeon cred. If I ever had any. Which I didn’t.)

  199. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I forget which one is Victor and which one is Ernesto, but does anyone here have a good enough memory to recall back near the beginning of this thread, 2010 it seems like to me, as to where exactly on his body El Guerero was shot? (I specify ‘on his body’ lest some wiseacre tell me, ‘In a plane’.) Somewhere his bullet scars don’t show, I assume? Which doesn’t leave a lot of territory, in that costume.

  200. Ben
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Waitaminute, are you guys telling me your offices come sans the customary 2′ applicant divot?

  201. Mr. Manchineel
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#197): “I keep tryin’ to tell Jeffy it’s ‘hurdles,’ not ‘girdles,’ but he keeps runnin’ around in’em anyway!”

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 6th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#130): A lolling tongue in Winkerbean would signify a cerebral hemorrhage. Which it might actually do in Snuffy Smith too, but the citizens of Hootin’ Holler don’t let it stop them.

  203. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#187): The Wegman’s here in Pittsford is the flagship store, with personal involvement by the present Wegman family head — Danny? It’s been a while since I heard his name. It’s possible the newest one they’ve built in Virginia or wherever is bigger. They’re building a new one on East Street in Rochester that may turn out to be fancier. I was sorry to see them tear down the old green storefront on that block to make room for it. One of those places that started out as a rather nice house and became engulfed by a commercial establishment.

  204. Hei of the Zaraki Company
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#174):
    The only Brad that comes to mind is a guy named Brad Frank. Big time James Bond fan. I alas, have forgetten the names of a lot of people from those days. I used to work the British sci-fi/TV conventions with the group Blake’s Several back in the day. Made me determine to never work a con again as staff, too much insanity and politics. Although I did get to meet and have dinner withTerry Nation and couple of guys from the Robin Hood series with other members of staff.

  205. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#198): Lynn, I’m not saying I don’t like the strip, but when he starts bringing on the NFL family members, I think he’s trying too hard. What’s next a multiplatinum sister act? Beyonce as a long lost sister?

  206. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#205): It’s really sort of unique that he adds this fictional character to an actual football team. I think the Glover family is sort of cute and – since I work with the homeless about 2 miles down the road from where a lot of the Eagles players live on huge estates – I get a kick out of the running joke that he’s thrifty.

  207. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#203): I’m in Syracuse where Wegman’s caught flak for closing their oldest, smallest store because the neighborhood is poor. Our flagship is in DeWitt. I’ve been in their Chantilly store. It is incredible, especially their wine selection. Now, if only NYS will let retailers sell wine…

    So….we’re only a few Thruway exits apart, eh?

  208. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#206): Pretty tough day for Eagles fans, eh? Although I am a Giants fan, I’ve always had soft spot for Andy Reid.

  209. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#208): I’m not a fan, but naturally my heart goes out to the family. It’s never easy.

  210. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Okay…someone was at my office door. I held up my ! thought balloon but they wouldn’t go away.

    So…back to work.

  211. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Hei of the Zaraki Company (#204): That’s him! I tried Googling on the name, but you know how well that usually works. I’d forgotten he was also a Bond fan. I still have some VHS items I dubbed from him — one of them I just put onto DVD, as I’ve never seen it anywhere else (a public TV show on silent movies, narrated by Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.).

    @Chaze (#207): Small world! Maybe there’s hope for a western NY CC get-together. Too bad there’s not a ferry between Rochester and Toronto any more — the two cities used to be considerably closer to one another, and I think we have Mudges in Tronno. If I ever had out-of-town visitors, I’d show off our Wegman’s, with its bounteous hot foods section, and then take them to our Barnes & Noble, which has a Used section.

  212. commodorejohn
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “I’ll try, but I’m a bit nervous about-OH GOD PLEASE DON’T EAT ME!”

    A&J – Don’t drink the Kool-Aid, Arlo & Janis!

    DT – His wife’s name was Mister?

    F- – Meanwhile, in Troll

    FC – Why, to spite you, Dolly!

    FW – OH THANK GOD IT’S NOT LES

    JP – Three bottles of wine. Yeah, help yourself there, Sam.

    Luann – Sex, Luann. She means that he’s probably having sex with girls that put out instead of fucking around for…however the hell long it was (felt like about eight years) and then suddenly deciding to have sex before wanting not to and then dithering around and calling the whole thing off the minute it became apparent that he had to leave. Because, you know, it turns out that not everybody likes being jerked around for no reason whatsoever.

    MT – “CLUNK!

    MW – The people on the boat can see London and France, but they could’ve lived without knowing that Dawn’s underpants are the same sickly purple as everything else she wears all the time. The California Raisins weren’t as purple as Dawn Weston.

    OBH – Why, it’s good old reliable Nathan!

    PBS – Evidently Rat is not familiar with ’60s bubblegum pop.

    Popeye – I’ve reached the point where I begin every Popeye storyline knowing that it’s going to end up as the shaggiest of shaggy-dog stories, but I’ve yet to reach the point where I stop bothering to read Popeye. Why is this?

    SFx – Slylock Fox and 1910s Automotive Trivia for Kids.

    SM – So in other words, you’re both schmucks.

  213. Dood
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “Oh, there’s nothing to be nervous about. Carla, we’re ready to harvest the organs!”

  214. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#199):

    Phantom: I forget which one is Victor and which one is Ernesto, but does anyone here have a good enough memory to recall back near the beginning of this thread, 2010 it seems like to me, as to where exactly on his body El Guerero was shot?

    No idea, but one of the rec.arts.comics.strips people found the story started August 15, 2011, with the Phantom pirating cable after returning dear beloved E. Chesley, which can’t be right. The story’s gone on a while but that’s, like, nearly fourteen hours in 9 Chickweed Lane time.

  215. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    MW – Just be thankful McEldowney doesn’t draw this strip, or we would be looking at Dawn’s rescue from below, and know whether she shops for underwear at the same store as Edda.

  216. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#198): I like Jump Start and Edge City. They’re not perfect, but they’re usually well done.

  217. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#212): Dawn’s underpants were not purple when she put them on this morning.

  218. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#212): DT – His wife’s name was Mister?
    Nickname, maybe? Probably short for Mistopher.

  219. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#215): Edda? Underwear?
    Underwear’s not edgy!

  220. lynn
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#216): Thank you for the affirmation. So I can keep my cred!

  221. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#219):

    I wonder if the colorists for todays 9CL overruled the artist and drew it in, or if Brooke stipulated exactly what color and coverage her underwear would have?

  222. Ian Beste
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#193): And Ed Asnar as the Old Grumpy Cop!

  223. AhClem
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#171): If you ever venture north into Minnesota, there is an old-fashioned candy store called “Candyland” in downtown St. Paul. When the wind is strong enough from the north, you can smell the caramel corn all the way into Iowa.

  224. Ian Beste
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): Knocked that gag out in 10 minutes and headed out to golf course for a quick 18. Good day!
    @Ian Beste (#222): Yes, I know, Asner.

  225. Horace Broon
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    ASM: I love the look on JJJ’s face here, as though he’d completely forgotten that aspect of the night’s entertainment.

    Blondie: You know what? I feel sorry for the women’s beach volleyball teams, doomed to be considered a source of cheap punchlines rather than proper athletes. Even the Olympic Committee itself decided to play the Benny Hill Show theme between matches.

    Crank: I can’t wait to see what vistas of originality open up here. Will Ed blow the lawnmower up, destroying his and the neighbours’ gardens and necessitating the fire brigade? Or will he drive it into someone’s mailbox?

    HtH: Do Vikings have “troops”? Wouldn’t “warband” be more appropriate?

    Phantom: Gasp! The man behind the mask is a leading citizen! And the man in the other mask said, without providing a shred of evidence, that the man wearing the first mask is a criminal! Clearly he must be run out of town immediately!

    Pluggers: Pluggers believe pencils and erasers are the work of the Devil, whereas correction fluid was invented by the mother of that nice young man with the hat, from the safe version of the Beatles. (Pluggers, of course, have never seen Head.)

    Retail: I honestly can’t tell who I’m meant to agree with here. Is the joke that she’s been forced into becoming an ogre by the next level of management, or is it that she’s actually being reasonable about it, and the others are being ridiculous? Her actual request doesn’t seem to be humorously exaggerated in either direction; it just comes across as “busy and harrassed” more than anything else.

  226. yaoi huntress earth
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#57): Pibgorn: You mean those flat things he calls butts? No one would really notice.

  227. Horace Broon
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Manchineel (#131):

    She’s like an evil version of The Goodies!

  228. Baka Gaijin
    August 6th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    The expression on JJJameson’s face. The face of a man who unexpectedly got something forcibly jammed up a lower orifice.

  229. Perky Bird
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised Plugger Chicken Lady went to the trouble of buying correction fluid and didn’t just make do with her own chicken poo.

  230. Liam
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-Be careful what you say around the cats. They’ve already tasted human flesh once.

    Gil Thorp-As long as he’s not Jewish or a Negro then we’ll let him play here.

    MT-Rusty, you are fleeing some guys on horseback. They might be chasing after you on foot. You’ll be miles away from there before they can ever catch up to you.

    RMMD-You can always hop in your Tardis and fly around until you come across another Companion.

  231. Baka Gaijin
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Given the Pluggers’ implied intelligence level, that crossword has a layer of Wite-Out® thicker than Tammy Faye Bakker’s mascara on a particularly weepy day.

  232. UncleJeff
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#203): Ask the Wegman’s staff if they have the “Whizzo Quality Assortment”….featuring “the Spring Surprise”.

  233. Marc
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#185): Ahh, the Wegmans candy section. Boxed, bagged, and bulk. I don’t think I’ve ever gone down the candy isle at Wegmans and been disappointed afterwards.

  234. Marc
    August 6th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#207): I’m in Buffalo and I’m not sure which one our flagship store is. The two busiest are the McKinley and Sheridan Drive stores. I actually worked at Wegmans for 6 1/2 years through most of high school and all of college.

  235. Hei of the Zaraki Company
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#211):

    Dear God, the power of the Intertubes! Small world indeed.

  236. Hei of the Zaraki Company
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    I don’t recall hearing about the biting incident though [Old Man] Muffaroo. Ah well, middle age setting in the ole brain. :)

  237. CanuckDownSouth
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#232): but do they have Crunchy Frog?

  238. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#100): “Cross them and you wake up to find a severed jocky’s head in your bed.”
    OMG! And I thought waking up to find a pair of severed jockey shorts in your bed was creepy!

  239. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#106): “…the little rolled up blanket Cherry has strapped to her saddle. WHY? WHO does that?”

    Besides the US calvary, as portrayed in the eyes of John Ford, I haven’t a clue.
    …then again, CLIP ART CITY may hold the only logical answer!

  240. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#175): Thanks. I’ve thought about it, but I ran into two problems. The first was simply not having the time. But the second was in trying to decide on the direction. Many (many, many, many) years ago I explored creating an illustrated story Bible, which would tell the Bible story in pictures, but with humour. Did I want the Sunday Comic to be a more grown-up and irreverent version of this? If so, I would be restricting myself to the Bible stories. Or did I want a looser framework?

    Oddly enough, I’ve been looking it over again lately and thinking that while sticking to the Bible would be more challenging, the imposed structure might make it al that much better.

  241. Illustrator Steve
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    MT – “MARK! MARK! Some bad SHEEP KILLER fellows are chasing me because they saw me take their picture with your big camera lens which I took from your room without your permission!”
    “WHAT? You took my big camera lens from my room without my permission! GO straight to bed without supper or story time, young man!!”
    “Mark, honey! I took your horse to try and catch Rusty who went to take pictures of some very bad VILLAINOUS SHEEP KILLER fellows who have guns and knives!
    “WHAT?! You took my favorite Palomino horse without asking my permission! THAT does it! WHAT the hell do I need you for anyway?! I’ll show you, I’ll cook myself some pancakes and then quickly leave this hell hole for at least another six months or so! WHAT do YOU think about all of this, Doc?
    “NO, he’s probably outside!”

  242. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Are we still in the story about Curtis going to the store for his mother? I’m just curious because … no, you know what? I’m not. Whatever. It’s all good. Or — not “good,” but the opposite.

  243. tallyHO
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    They found Mary Worth’s burial barge (“Roman-era boat found off Italy”)

    Too bad the haunting of cruise ships didn’t have the intended effect of knocking off Wilbur. Though, he was unseen in today’s strip. Could it be that Ghost Mary, by way of the desires of Zombie Mary back at the condo, possessed the guy in the pink shirt eliciting a constant look of panic on his face that was a desperate cry for help? Could it be that his possession resulted in him taking Wilbur down with him to the bottoms of the shallow seas?

    One would only need to go back to the day that Wilbur was rescued to see that Pink Shirt was mad at Green T-Shirt for saving Wilbur.

    Of course this theory will only be bourne out if …..kzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ….
    uh….as I was saying, the thrills and excitement which are happe….zzzzzzzzzzz.

    //everyone who’s been following this part of the storyline knows that they could have just cut to Dawn and Wilbur being on the seashore at any time. There didn’t need to be this Dramamine induced Drama. But, nooooooooooooooo.

  244. tallyHO
    August 6th, 2012 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    Rusty Bucket is coming around the corner.

    Cherry Pitts Trail is also coming around the corner.

    It looks like this one race is going to be decided by a nose.
    Maybe two noses, colliding in a vain attempt at discovering the Clod Particle.

    Wait!
    What do we have here?
    Is that what I think it is?
    It looks like we are going to see some action involving the Wildlife Peop

  245. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#229): I’m surprised Plugger Chicken Lady went to the trouble of buying correction fluid and didn’t just make do with her own chicken poo.
    They buy the bottle once, and then refill it.

    @UncleJeff (#232): “the Spring Surprise”
    I love that chocolate, but I can never finish one.

    @Marc (#233): The only disappointment is if I want Licorice Wheels. Then I have to go to a Wegman’s in Perinton. Or I can get them at the $5 store in Victor. Or the candy store in Fairport.

    @Hei of the Zaraki Company (#235): I always hoped if I blabbed my location enough times somebody would say “Hey…”

  246. Gringo
    August 6th, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#29): We all know that Sam … went straight for the good stuff, as is his right.

    Obviously, Abbey’s ta-tas are not classified as “good stuff.”

  247. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#211):

    …I think we have Mudges in Tronno.

    Me! Me!

    Well, St. Catharines right now, but that’s only temporary. (Please, dear merciful God, it’s only temporary.)

  248. Calico
    August 6th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#223):
    Oh my. : )
    There’s also this gem, the longest candy counter ever. I really think us adults appreciate it more than the young sprouts. When I last visited in May I looked for the hard candies called Charms, but they didn’t have any. (Bawwww!)
    http://www.chutters.com/candy/
    Our high school teachers Dan and Moocho Salomon have a wonderful music store a few shops down the street – a sign on the front door says “All unattended children will be used as percussion instruments.” (For the record, they have a couple of grownup kids, at least one of whom teaches and plays music)
    http://www.northernlightsmusic.com/

  249. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#178): Thanks for the warning:-)!

  250. Anonymous
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#223): Heading outside to sniff…

  251. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

  252. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#248): Now THAT’S a counter!

    The sign reminds me of one I saw in a veterinarian office. something close to “Small children left unattended will be given an espresso and a kitten.”

  253. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#252): Preview, etc.

  254. Liam
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    Momma-Sadly he loses his job when the manager decides to hire non-union Oompa Loompas to work in the store.

    MW-Tragically when lifting Wilbur the copter would be unable to lift him and lose control crashing into the water.

  255. The Ridger
    August 6th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#57): In other news, I’m not surprised the Fallacy of the Talking Killer is particularly pronounced in McEldowney’s universe.

    You sly dog! You got me monologing!

  256. Vince M
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#222): Yeah, he’s okay there, but I prefer him as ‘Cosgrove’.

  257. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#212): SFx “– Slylock Fox and 1910s Automotive Trivia for Kids.”

    Obviously a blue 1914 mint Model T would be much more rare than a black one.

  258. commodorejohn
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#255): The real surprise is that Pibgorn villains find time for villainy in between all the talking.

  259. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#240): Speaking of illustrated bible stories, are you familiar with Rev. Brendan Powell Smith’s brilliant work in the Lego medium? Well worth a look.

    // Vastly improved my understanding of the Bible.

  260. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#252): “Small children left unattended will be given an espresso and a kitten.”

    That is refulgent!

  261. Liam
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-Snuffy’s plan to destroy this country continues successfully.

  262. Sequitur
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#257): Shady Shrew needed to stay away from Earl Scheib.

  263. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#225): Retail: I honestly can’t tell who I’m meant to agree with here. Is the joke that she’s been forced into becoming an ogre by the next level of management, or is it that she’s actually being reasonable about it, and the others are being ridiculous? Her actual request doesn’t seem to be humorously exaggerated in either direction; it just comes across as “busy and harrassed” more than anything else.

    Isn’t there a general recognition that extended warranties are a kind of evil scam anyway, especially in electronics? If a tv or computer or anything else of that ilk doesn’t fail right out of the box, or in the first month or two, it will run forever, or at least until it is so obsolete you don’t care if it breaks. Such has been my experience. So there is the point that whatshername has gone over to the dark side, and is now pushing her people to sell worthless insurance to the customers.

    // Mrs. Scudder is an exception to that rule. She has an uncanny ability to destroy computers. I learned long ago to always get the extended warranty for her, and it has paid for itself many times over.

  264. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#262): Is Earl still around? I’d love to take my ’95 Dodge Dakota pickup in — “Old Eczema” we call it — Bourbon Babe will confirm this: All rust and peeling paint. Ugliest vehicle I’ve ever owned.

    // Mechanically sound, though, so I can’t justify getting rid of it.

  265. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#240): Sticking to the Bible stories sounds like a good way to go for a lot of reasons. They’re really great stories that have resonated deeply with millions over millennia, and they’re a rich source of humor, due to how deeply ingrained they are into popular culture. I remember Bill Cosby’s Noah sketch, for example. That was comedy gold without being disrespectful to the source.

  266. AhClem
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#248): I remember Charms! They were basically square, hole-free Life Savers (Or you could say that Life Savers are round, perforated Charms).

  267. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#265): Yeah, but then there’s Lot and his daughters. I’m kind of seeing a drunken Lot in a cave following the fall of Sodom, peering down at his daughter as he’s about to get it on with her and saying, “Ya…ya…ya know somethin’? Ya look kinda familiar.”

  268. Sequitur
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#264): Earl Scheib. Auto painting mogul who hired people not on their vehicle painting knowledge or experience but on how well they could sell. Earl Scheib, who promised to get the job done in one day and became a joke of the car painting industry. Earl Scheib. Where are you today?

    [Bill Henderson says] He’s dead.

    In fact he died in 1992 and his body shops all went out of business in 2010. No Earl for your Dodge.

  269. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#245): I heartily approve of the amount of brain space you have dedicated to the locations where your favorite candies are available.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#257), @Sequitur (#262): SFx – I hadn’t noticed that it said “in mint condition.” Now I’m glad I kept quiet about my objection that Shady Shrew could have had the car painted. You win this round, Weber…

  270. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): Not bad. Not funny, but a pretty good way of creating an illustrated Bible.

  271. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Nina sets out to redecorate Apartment 3G with Pre-Columbian art and, with that in mind, tosses Tommie and Margo out into the street for not “fitting in with her vision”. Seems she’d had enough of pale blue and green and yellow. She then placed an ad on Craig’s List, looking for roommates named Pinta and Santa Maria, you know..just to complete the Columbian thing.

    The baby didn’t fit in with the feng shui and was promptly done away with. That’s right….erased.

  272. Sequitur
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#268): Biff Henderson. Dagnabit.

  273. seismic-2
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#263): Yeah, the Poisson distribution governing the failure of electronic components is such that if it doesn’t fail during the normal (brief) factory warranty period, then the odds are that it won’t fail during the extended warranty period, either, so the house wins that bet. (And you’d better believe that they do in fact compute the cost and duration of the extended warranty in such a manner that they will!) It’s rather a different situation for machinery that involves a lot of moving mechanical parts, since flywheels, cam shafts, gears, belts, springs, etc. do in fact wear out from extended use. So equipment like that is indeed a classic case of “your mileage may vary”, since the likelihood that you will benefit from taking the extended warranty on something with a mechanical motor depends on the conditions of heavy use that you do, or don’t, anticipate.

  274. Peanut Gallery
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): The ghastly Lego smiles of the Israelites as they massacre the Midianites is certainly a sight to behold.

  275. Chaze
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#273): So….if it’s not gonna work or if it plans to fail, it pretty much will happen right away. Gad, that PhD comes in handy at times.

  276. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#274):Hey, it’s for the kids, you know.

  277. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#275): I’ve worked with electronics as a technician all my adult life. We call it “infant mortality”, and it’s especially a problem with bleeding edge technology. You get past that first couple of months, though, you are good indefinitely.

  278. GrafSpee
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#95): Re: Arlo and Janis. In the last panel, Janis is looking at/using a tablet device (such as an iPad), since it has a bigger display than the phone.

  279. Walker of Dog
    August 6th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#217):

    Dawn’s underpants were not purple when she put them on this morning.

    To the color wheel!
    My guess is red underpants + blue urinal cake from the breakfast buffet

  280. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    So the Rev. B.P. Smith carefully recreates biblical scenes, and then photographs them, using a relatively old, low megapixel Nikon Coolpix 5 camera. He probably has every Lego set ever made, or close to it, but admits to occasional manufacturing special pieces. His dialogue is from the New Jerusalem Bible, which version I used to dislike, but now is one of my favorite translations, largely because of Smith’s work.

    I seriously considered illustrating a couple of Thackeray’s Irish stories, using the same technique, but gave it up because (a) it would obviously be derivative, and (b) I was busy. (Mostly b. Plagiarism is basic to all culture.)*

    Smith was apparently something-or-other in Silicon Valley before the first Internet bubble. He and his gf had been in the habit of buying each other various themed Lego sets, one of those cute, young couple things, and when he lost his job, he put his free time to use.

    * I think I stole that line from Pete Seeger, who got it from his father, the ethnomusicologist.

  281. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): @Frank Lee Meidere (#270): Uh. I read some more. Definitely funny.

  282. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#267): I always figure Oedipus was sitting at the table, saying “Mm-mm! Honey! These are just like Mom always used to… make…” and then suddenly a look of dawning horror came on his features.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#277): I took electronics right about the time vacuum tubes stopped being much of a concern. When I was listening to Walkman-type cassette players, the wretched little things were given to suicide, and an extended warranty was a small expense that basically kept me in players for years.

    It’s a little like the “five-minute” deal on personal pan pizzas at Pizza Hut in the early 80s. They couldn’t make good on their five minute promise, so they’d give us a coupon for a free one on our next visit, so we would get many pizzas over many visits for the price of one. We almost felt guilty taking them, except for the fact that we were on a short lunch hour (my wife and I) and we really had needed for them to be ready when they said.

    @Peanut Gallery (#269): In the case of Licorice Wheels, I had to do a good deal of searching when we moved from Virginia. Come to think of it, I’ve been searching a lot longer for Jiri Mame (Jolly Beans), which I used to get at an Asian Market in Newport News. In fact, a while back, I asked a friend there to go check, and he couldn’t find any at the old place either.

  283. pastordan
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#278): I see. Or at least, she does.

  284. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#281): Careful. Addicting. Should have warned you.

  285. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#284): Yeah. I gave them a quick glance and figured them as being along the line of the Veggie Tales. Later I took another look. Uh — nope. Not the same. Not the same at all.

  286. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#282): I took electronics right about the time vacuum tubes stopped being much of a concern.

    In Navy Basic Electronics school we were given a thorough grounding (pun unintentional) in vacuum tubes, spending a whole chapter each on diodes, triodes, tetrodes, and pentodes. Then we had a short lesson on transistors. I remember our instructor saying they pretty much worked like triodes, but at a lower voltage, but not to worry about them. “You probably won’t see any in the Fleet.”

    Oddly enough, he was right, at least in that enlistment. My first ship was a WWII era destroyer, and the radar system I worked on had enormous rooms filled with cabinets of glowing vacuum tubes. It was easy to troubleshoot if something went wrong. You just looked for the tube that wasn’t glowing, replaced it, tweaked the power supply, and everything was good again.

  287. Cloudbuster
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#281): @Frank Lee Meidere (#267): Lego incestuous sex scenes … I … I never even imagined stuff like this as a boy, playing with my Legos. It’s spiritual to look at, right? Because it’s the Bible? Wait, it’s not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of him … oh, crap.

  288. Ed Dravecky
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#212): Sez Wikipedia: “Moon Maid – The beautiful first wife of Junior Tracy. She was one of the moon people, an alien race with large eyes, giraffe-like antennae, and laser powers. [...] In 1965 she and Junior had a beautiful daughter named Honeymoon. In 1978, Moon Maid was accidentally killed by a car bomb intended for Dick Tracy. The bomb was set by electronics expert Little Littel, who was trying to collect on a million-dollar contract on Tracy’s life set by Big Boy Caprice. After his daughter’s death, the Moon Governor broke off all relations with Earth. In 2011, Moon Maid’s first name was revealed to be Mysta.”

  289. Poteet
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#240): Just read THE SUNDAY COMIC. Laughed. It’s great. Thank you.

  290. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#287): I like the delicate artistry of the red lines on Lot’s torso, suggesting a sagging old man chest, and potbelly. I don’t know if that is Smith mod, or is from a regular Lego mini-character. In the early days, Smith used mostly Star Wars figures for his bible characters, but with all the Pirates of the Caribbean themed sets that have come out recently, his palette has gotten much larger.

  291. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#290): Oh, Harry Potter figures, too. I think he uses Dumbledore for Moses, mostly. I think Smith’s best work is his Revelations. I never before understood the sheer psychedelic insanity of the book before I saw it in Legos.

    // A revelation, you might say.

  292. Girl Reporter
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#85):

    “Thirdringsuburb Days”

    Stealing that. Thank you.

  293. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#291): No “s” on Revelation. I knew you’d want to be correct on this, going forward.

  294. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#293): Well, right you are. Thanks. I think I was influenced by that old joke about the Bible beginning in a garden, and ending in revelations… how did that go? There was more to it…

  295. Señor Tortilla
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been on vacation. It looks like I haven’t missed too much:

    Clown-9 doesn’t have to try very hard to humiliate Spider-Man.
    Les climbed Kilimanjaro, and now is back to making lame puns that put down other people. Meanwhile, we’re back on Wally, and the dog is still alive and well (for now).
    Bea is appearing to get chummy with Sam and Avery. Not much has happened yet here.
    Rusty is acting like a fool. At least he doesn’t look like a troll anymore, but he’s still as dumb as a post.
    Marvin kidnapped himself, and he’s (they’re?) alternating between a jerk and a tool. As usual.
    No one died in Mary Worth, unfortunately.
    Popeye’s storyline finally ended. I don’t know or care how Olive got rid of the money. The new one won’t be anymore interesting, likely.
    I haven’t been paying attention to Dick Tracy too closely, but it sure looks like they’re bringing back Moon Maid, who was killed back in the Carter administration.

    …any particularly funny comments from the last few days that I need to know about?

  296. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#294): Oh, minced oath. Oscar Wilde. Woman of No Importance. Sometimes I miss my mind.

  297. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

  298. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#295): ……any particularly funny comments from the last few days that I need to know about?

    Not a one. Dullsville. Utterly somniculous. We’ve mostly been droning on about our favorite episodes of the tv show, My Friend Flicka, and whether or not it was better than Hazel when dubbed in Spanish.

    You know. The usual.

    // And slide rules.

  299. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 6th, 2012 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#297): Don’t blame yourself. They’d have probably stopped doing them anyway, even without your violence.

  300. Anonymous
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    8/7 MT — HAHAHA! It can be frustrating, watching one of these three-legged one-winged MT stories trying to launch itself into the air. But once it’s up there, flailing its legs and madly flapping its one wing, watching is sheer joy. Go, MT, go! You’ve slipped the surly bonds of reality and you’re up there in Batshit Crazyland!

  301. Poteet
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#300): And I’m up there too, apparently.

  302. Poteet
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    MW — I know I made a caustic remark about how incompetently Dawn was lifted into the air. But this is far worse. Only Dingo could really do it justice.

  303. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#274): The Christian philosopher William Lane Craig famously maintains that it is the Israelites who are to be pitied here. The male and adult female Midianites had offended God, and deserved to die. The innocent children of the Midianites when killed went straight to heaven. But it was the poor Israelite soldiers who had to conduct all this slaughter, and it must have been awful for them. One hopes they were able to get counselling.

  304. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#299): I’ll remember your words of comfort as long as I can.

  305. Der Schnärkïnätör
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#301):

    Looks you need to get you some more cookies, Girl!

  306. Poteet
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Yep, this Melissa is definitely nastier than her former incarnation. She’s starting to remind me of Helen….nevermind.

  307. Poteet
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

  308. Poteet
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    S-M — Asgard is starting to look pretty good, eh?

  309. Droopy Says
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: No way can New York have enough idiots and lunatics willing to support two Spiderman-obsessed newspapers. No city could do that. It would collapse and turn into Washington.

    Creepy Les: Try the fortune cookies. Red the message: “Life is one excuse after another to smirk.” There you have it, the obscure wisdom of northwest Ohio.

    Jugs Parker: So, Bea, what’s their best vintage? Tuesday morning or Monday afternoon?

    Mary Mirthless: Somewhere in Europe there will be an engine mechanic who is very unhappy at the way that helicopter was overloaded.

    Pluggers: I call shennanigans. Just the other day we were told that Pluggers wear exercise shoes. So why is this Plugger exercising without them? Pluggers are nothing if not inconsistent.

    Mock Trail: I’m disappointed that we haven’t seen more of the debate between the Flying Poaching Brothers. “Should we stay here and finish cutting off the head of the bighorn sheep that we killed for a trophy? Or should we compound the felony by chasing after the kid who took our picture with his camera? When we catch him, should we compound the felony by shooting him or by stealing his camera? If we let him live, will he be able to identify us in court?” Just once I want to see the kind of thought process that goes on in the minds of Mark Trail villains.

  310. Der Schnärkïnätör
    August 7th, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#309):

    Spot on!

    Especially your comments regarding MT…..

  311. Mr. O'Malley
    August 7th, 2012 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#183): My neighborhood grocery store carries Violet Crumble. I don’t know how much of a demand there is for it. Maybe there is a secret colony of Australians somewhere.

  312. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 7th, 2012 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#301): That’s a really lovely metaphor, by the way.

  313. Comcis Fan
    August 7th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    MW: “Ooh, Senor Soldado, is that a flare in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”

    “It’s your pocket, senor, and it’s un sandwich de mortadela.”

  314. Comcis Fan
    August 7th, 2012 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    H&L: Thirsty does sunflower seeds while Lois gets high. What have the suburbs come to?

  315. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 7th, 2012 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    9CL: Whoa. Serious doubling down on the “Edda’s crotch, let me show you it” thing.

    //Is that move even humanly possible?

  316. John C Fremont
    August 7th, 2012 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    MW – “Well, hello-o-o-o, sailor!”

    Wilbur wonders if this guy’s taylormade driver comes with the head cover. (This, of course, will make no sense once the above spam is deleted. But for now, it’s comedy gold. Well, aluminum. Tin. Okay, a chunk of solder on a welding room floor. But very naughty solder on the floor.)

  317. Doctor Handsome
    August 7th, 2012 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    Don’t get mad at the narration box, Josh. It could’ve said, “Kareem Abdul-Jabbar walks in with a dragon on his shoulder,” and the artist would have drawn the same damn thing.

  318. Geoduck
    August 7th, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#169): I know if I went to school with Caulfield, I would have strangled him years ago.

  319. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 7th, 2012 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    MW – Is that a gun mount Wilbur is being lifted past in panel 1? There is no turret, but it sure looks like naval artillery to me. Which gives a whole, sinister context to the idea that this “cruise ship” was loitering just off-shore looking for targets when a submarine found it….

  320. Little Guy
    August 7th, 2012 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    S-M: And this is why, in the Spideyverse, the denizens on NYC get their news from BBC America,

  321. Droopy Says
    August 7th, 2012 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#320): I think that must be a funnel in the first panel. The whole image is puzzling; yesterday the ship’s list was a lot less than 90 degrees, and if she’s lying on her side, those railings must have been horizontal before she capsized. Maybe we’ve identified this ship’s name. Based on the partial name in an earlier strip, she’s the SS Escher del Mare.

  322. Little Guy
    August 7th, 2012 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    DT: Okay, with all the chatter, I had to look…

    So, DT is ripping off past and current plotlines for General Hospital?

  323. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 7th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#264): No, that was a fine, noble vehicle, the envy of all other drivers! (Wait, how many martinis did I have that night?)

  324. Chyron HR
    August 7th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @taylormade r11s driver (#316): You don’t need a wrench to install drivers, dumbass, you just drop them into the system directory.

  325. Liam
    August 7th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MW-”Oh god let that be urine I’m feeling against his pants.”

    MW 2-Unlike all those other people who drowned at least you and Dawn survived because the world couldn’t go on without Wilbur Weston and his daughter Dawn.

  326. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Snuffy redux – Looking again at the strip Josh reprinted at the top of the thread, it’s clear that they have none of that fancy lectricitary stuff that makes the raddio box work, so Hootin’ Hollerites take turns crouching behind the wall and saying stuff while others take turns listening to it. I’ll guess that Parson Chickenthief is back there now, from the vague hectoring he’s giving Snuffy and Lukey.

  327. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#309): Just the other day we were told that Pluggers wear exercise shoes. So why is this Plugger exercising without them?
    Those are a plugger’s good shoes, so they save them for the many funerals they attend in any given week.
    Now you know. And knowing is half the burden.

  328. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @taylormade r11s driver (#316): Nice try, spambot, but you should know that cartoonists don’t actually come here to shop. I think most of them go to Goodwill.

  329. Joshua
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Red & Rover (8/6): Anachronism alert! Red wouldn’t be talking about the potential popularity of beach croquet if beach volleyball hadn’t been a popular Olympic sport already. But Red & Rover takes place around 1970 or so; beach volleyball wasn’t added to the Olympics even as a demonstration sport until 1992.

  330. Droopy Says
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#328): I suppose that before I can understand a Plugger, I’d have to walk a mile in his exercise shoes . . . wait, a Plugger never walks a mile in his own exercise shoes. Pluggers know jow to defeat anyone who would understand them.

  331. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#330): Yeah, I think this strip dips in and out of its designated era at will.

  332. Peanut Gallery
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#303): Well, they did get to console themselves by taking the virgin female Midianites as sex slaves. Except those who were reserved for Yahweh’s share. Always wondered what He wanted with ‘em… (I’m an ignoramus about the Bible; I only know about this whole Midianite business because Mark Twain’s Letters from the Earth features a particularly scathing rant about it.)

  333. lynn
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#329): Spambot thinks Sam Driver posts here.

  334. lynn
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#333): Since we are all waiting for today’s Josh post, I will bore you with my Bible story. When I was 12, I read ‘Gone with the Wind’ (Frank Lee, Medeire?) against my mother’s specific order that it was off limits. I felt guilty, so I picked up our big old Douay-Rheims, which was about the same size (much more text, I soon found out). Boy, was I horrified! I read every word, though, from Genesis to Macabees (and the Douay-Rheims has two of those).

  335. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Frazz: I miss Hudsons. they were a decent store.

    9CL: Brooke drew today’s strip one-handed. just sayin’.

    Lio: HAR! by Dog, I do love this strip so.

    JP: the smug, it burnnnnnsssss.

    Retail: *cries*

  336. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 7th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .stick shifting. . . .

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