Homo jeffycus
B.C., 2/9/08
HO HO YES, THE POLITICIANS, THEY ARE ANNOYING! THOSE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS, THEY MAKE ME ANGRY! That’s exactly the sort of barbed and targeted attack on people’s closely held beliefs that will get you pulled out of the paper!
Legacy artist, please. Your shit-stirring does not impress. Start writing rambling, incoherent poems about Jesus and/or explaining how Christ came to put out the menorah and then we’ll talk.
Crankshaft, 2/9/08
If there’s one saving grace in Crankshaft, it’s Crankshaft’s total and complete dedication to angry misanthropy. In another kind of strip, this lame punny punchline (I think it’s supposed to be punny, though I admit to being at a loss as to just what “doodle date” is a pun on) would have been issued by a cheery old man in an avuncular fashion; but the ’Shaft’s facial expression in the third panel makes clear his utter disgust for those ink-stained wretches who have the nerve to quit drawing and move down to some nice place in Boca. “You know, I’ve totally screwed up my retirement savings plans and will have to drive a damn bus and deal with children I hate every damn day for the rest of my bile-shortened life, so I don’t see why any of these cartooning jerkfaces should get to enjoy their old age. They can kiss my white, wrinkled, hate-clenched ass.”
Gil Thorp, 2/9/08
Jeez, Gil, you’re lucky Andrew was able to shrug, seeing as his impossibly long and thin body in panel one seems to have been completely de-boned. Honestly, this may be the worst new-head-attached-to-random-body-from-somewhere-else drawing I can remember in Gil Thorp, and it appears in the same panel as someone who’s arm looks to be on backwards.
The dude peeking over Marty Moon’s shoulder in panel three, meanwhile, seems to be on the verge of complete rapture. I know that high school sports is the primary form of entertainment in the blighted wasteland from which the Valley Conference schools draw their student body, but that guy is just too excited about the Mudlark starting lineup. My guess is that Milford’s “spirit squad” has started handing out Ecstasy to fans at the door.
Family Circus, 2/9/08
“You also may be a Neanderthal, with your protruding browridge and subhuman intellect. What I’m trying to say is, we’re selling you to a circus sideshow.”
snork3455
February 10th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
B.C. has been becoming less and less incomprehensible as of late. I am dissapointed.
The Other Commenter
February 10th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
‘Struth. With Johnny on the case, you could at least count on a cute joke or two each month…
jvwalt
February 10th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
GT: Well, Andrew Gregory does have at least one bone in his body. Unfortunately, it’s an ankle bone where his wrist oughta be. Yikes! Genetic freak, or illicit plastic surgery gone horribly wrong?
jules
February 10th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I think “doodle date” is supposed to be a play on the phrase “due date,” which just makes it sound like only the pregnant comic artists are retiring. Crankshaft would probably be in favor of that, what with hating both women and children!
ponzicar
February 10th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I think I can end up liking this B.C. strip if it is only the first in a series where its protagonists embark on a spree of caveman justice against the comic page editor until their strip is restored to the paper. Of course, to keep things consistent, every panel of the storyline will have to be completely blank except for the last one. So go ahead B.C., take your time. Apartment 3-G time even.
Harold
February 10th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Is that Cully Vale in the third panel of Guiles de Thorrpe? Has his “KILL MARTY MOON” programming finally kicked in? No wonder he looks so happy!
Ben
February 10th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
“someone who’s arm looks to be on backwards,” Josh?
Godzooky
February 10th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
A round-up of “Same, but Different” Strip Day participants:
Café con Leche
Candorville
Golden Years
Herb ‘n Jamaal
Housebroken
K Chronicles
Mama’s Boyz
Tim Jackson
Watch Your Head
If nothing else, a study in different art styles and how to convey the same message in strips ranging from two panels to nine. I like the variations some of the cartoonists made, particularly the Andy Capp comment.
As far as getting the point across to those who need to get it, not sure how effective this will be. Most papers only carry one of these strips at a time, so most readers won’t realize their single “Black” strip is actually deliberately mimicking others.
Ah, what the hell, it’s worth a shot and you have to start somewhere to change things. Best of luck, guys.
satyricaldude
February 10th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Josh, you seem to forget that Milford is located on a cult compound ruled by an elite squad of retired high school sports stars. Failure to respond joyously to any sort of sporting event, no matter how tedious or boring, is punishable by a visit to the Reeducation Center.
They even let you keep the part of your brain they cut out.
The Ghost of Jarrod
February 10th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Come on, Josh, be fair to ‘Shaft. If you lived in a universe created and run by Tom Batiuk, you’d despise cartoonists, too.
monkey.dave
February 10th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
That BC link also points back to a “classic” A3G strip.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
February 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
GT:
Whatever happened to
GT: Whatever happened to Cully Vale, anyway? Did he run off the California with Matzo Ball or PopCorn or whatever that old guy with the clown’s rubber bald head on’s name was?
cu
Rainbird
February 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
4 jules I assumed he was making fun of play date or golf date, or something. Not funny.
8 Godzooky Thanks for tracking them all down. Our two local papers don’t run any of them. I was trying to explain it to my partner, but since we only get JumpStart, she didn’t get it. *sigh*
John C Fremont
February 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
GT – “and Gil goes off?” Am I missing something? I thought “going off” involved yelling or something. All he’s doing is standing there, and then going home and whining. “Did I mumble when I talked about the screen?” while radiating emotion lines – now that’s going off.
Gil Thorp — could be — an elephant.
Andrew Gregory — is — an idiot.
Marty Moon — remains — an alien.
BTW, I have officially been Mallard Fillmore free for over a year now. I think I’m supposed to recieve a chip or something.
ArbuckleLovesLyman
February 10th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Uhm, I’m sorry but . . . I had a forehead when I was 3. In fact, I believe I was born with one.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
February 10th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I’m not much of a typer.
Zac
February 10th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
What’s that about, Godzooky? Sounds like someone said something stupid and is being rightly lambasted for it. But I haven’t heard the story.
Sili
February 10th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Damn you for actually making me reread BC. I didn’t recognise that strip.
For good reason as it happens. It’s not the one Ucomics ran:
http://www.comics.com/creators/bc/archive/bc-20080209.html
What’s going on here?
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
#8 Godzooky – Hmm. I can’t say I’m impressed; it comes off more as complaining about the same troubles all new strips have getting started, only because the characters are black it’s therefore racist for old people to be cranky when their stale favorites get replaced. More whiny than “awareness-raising.” I mean, My Cage hasn’t run a strip complaining about how people don’t want a strip with anthropomorphic animal characters, which is arguably harder to get in the papers than a strip with black characters.
At any rate, at least one of these strips (Herb & Jamaal) shouldn’t be in the funnies. Because it sucks.
Bobdog
February 10th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Man, Billy is one to talk. In either case, I do not think this how human growth works. Now that the bones in their skull have not completely fused is another story — but they will always be a bit soft in the head, given the gene pool from which they were spawned.
girl friday
February 10th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Much better Crankshaft (well, anything would be better, but . . .)
“First panel: A comic artist just died
Second panel: That’s been happening a lot lately
Third panel: I guess they finally started making their deadlines.”
I mean, “doodle date”!
My rewrite might be in poor taste in light of the recent passing of Al Scaduto, but I think it’s safe to say that “poor taste” is not a major concern when it comes to Crankshaft.
Edmund Schluessel
February 10th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Doodle Dates: The Syrup Chapter
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 10th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
15. ArbuckleLovesLyman re FC: yes, but I strongly suspect that you come from a long line of mammalian stock. The Keanes are kind of like frogs or insects or turnips, having a young or juvenile stage that has them looking nothing like the adult form.
They also have an extremely LONG juvenile stage with many moltings that don’t necessarily progress to the next level of develop: one year is four years is a decade. Perhaps this is based on poor nutrition (requiring them to scavenge in sealed boxes, even if the food reward is of dubious quality), or poor environment (being placed outdoors in sub-zero weather, or being forced to live cheek-to-jowl with siblings).
Bonnach
February 10th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Those kid’s eyes in Gil Thorpe are wall-to-wall pupil. Judging by the “artwork” in the strip, they’re not the only ones.
Rainbird
February 10th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
commodorejohn 19 I though this too, and wondered if I was being racist.
I think all legacy-strips should be shipped off to a special page, and all the new strips brought in, and not this, take out one black strip and replace it with another. When Boondocks went the way of all flesh it was replaced with PBS.
Pity there isn’t room in the paper for all the strips to run. I mean, we can still get our news online, and it could be a whole newspaper of strips.
Rainbird
February 10th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
#25 I mean when Boondocks went away in the local paper, it was replaced with PBS.
When Cathy was taken out, I believe it was replaced with Secret Asian Man, I guess, to make up for the first transgression. The Mercury News actually said they were changing the strips to bring in more diversity.
Don’t see any Vietnamese or Indian (as in the sub-continent) strips yet. Considering the population of the San Jose area, you think they would.
Oddball
February 10th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Oh. Forehead. I get it. Har.
DAS
February 10th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Oh man, it must suck to be
Evil SpockMarty Moon: think of it — you dedicate your life’s work to covering high school sports? Maybe it’s ’cause I was a nerd in school and not a jock, but I feel sorry for Marty Moon, having gotten stuck with the beat he has.The pathetic thing is that he has started to believe the hype he has made to make himself look important and keep himself sane. It’s like when a cult leader starts believing he really is a Prophet (rather than merely realizing that he’s just in it to sucker people and convince hawt, impressionable young women to be with him as a “religious duty”).
Poor Marty Moon, I feel for your lost soul and pray for you daily — or would, if you were real rather than being in a comic strip echoing your pointless existance.
Is Marty Moon a synecdoche for the entire comic strip of Gil Thorpe? Do we need to give the author(s) of that strip more credit than we currently give ‘em?
Godzooky
February 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
#17 Zac: “Same, but Different” Day, explained. The E&P article was mentioned a couple of times in the previous thread, but I should have included a link to it in my post.
AhClem
February 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Crankshaft – If Crankshaft’s son-in-law (can’t remember his name, and have too little curiosity to look it up) has any decency at all, he will urge Batuik to join the ranks of retired comic strip writers. That would mean the end of Crankshaft as well as Funky Miserybean, a truly generous gift to the world.
It would mean his own demise as well, but, hey, sometimes you just have to take one for the team.
SpiffBereft
February 10th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Juist be glad Billy’s touching Jeffy’s threehead and not his threeskin.
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
#25, 26 Rainbird – Yeah, I actually like the idea of a “normal funnies” section consisting of all the legacy strips and then a separate section for newer, funny strips. Problem is, that would require the newspapers to devote more space to the comics, which is the exact opposite of what usually happens.
Interesting thought about minority-cast comics for other ethnic groups. On the one hand, it might help to break the perception of certain strips as being “black strips” if there were more than just black people and white people on the funnies page, (definitely moreso than today’s stunt would,) but on the other, I’d like to see a move away from comics that focus on character ethnicity (Curtis and Baldo,) rather than simply having characters who aren’t white (Jump Start is a good example, if I remember correctly, and I seem to recall that The Boondocks actually went so far as to parody the Afro-centrism of “black strips” with some of Huey’s antics, though I wasn’t a regular reader.)
I mean, if Star Trek could break television’s racial barriers without going OH MY GOD UHURA IS BLACK all the time, why should comic strips have to be either “about black people” or “about white people?”
brb
February 10th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Dang it, Oddball, I was perfectly content having read FC and dismissing it as typical idiocy. Now you have to go and point out that it was a pun! Yuck!
spinster with cat
February 10th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
#13 – The fact that your paper doesn’t carry any of the strips just proves what I first thought when I heard that this was something eleven different comic strips were doing. My thought was: If the point of this is to raise awareness about under-representation, how is the awareness going to be raised in the places where the under-representation is happening? I wouldn’t have had any clue about it if I didn’t read The Washington Post on Sundays (to which I subscribe primarily because of its large comic section and book review. None of that fancy-shmancy news-reading for me!). And even then I had to do an internet search in order to become more fully informed about what the deal was with having multiple strips run the same gag.
#19 – In one of the articles I read about the event, Aaron McGruder basically stated the same thing you did. I sort of agree; it is a difficult industry to break into no matter what. However, I don’t doubt that there are newspaper editors who would dismiss a new strip about African-American or Latino characters because they already have an old strip about African-American or Latino characters and they don’t want to upset their delicate readership.
Ultimately, it’s probably getting more difficult by the day to be a newspaper and stay in business. I suspect there are more people like me who turn first thing to the comics, rather than people who turn first thing to the op-ed or the local news. Most news they print in the newspaper I’ve already read about on the internet or heard about on the radio. I think it would be a smarter move for more editors to expand their comics section than to collapse it because they can no longer afford to run both Herb and Jamal and Candorville. I don’t think readers would complain about new strips being added, regardless of content and subject matter, provided they get to keep the same crap they’ve loved since they were six-years-old and started reading the comics.
Incidentally, speaking as a honky, I like Candorville a great deal and would appreciate if it was on the Houston Chronicle page. But as I don’t pay for the paper, I guess I’m not entitled to complain.
Kibo
February 10th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Oh, Josh, how could you see that blank B.C. final panel and _not_ start a contest for us to draw the final panel?
Also there should be a million-dollar prize.
And all the other comic strips should be printed on candy! I suggest Laffy Taffy or better. Hopefully much better. Laffy Taffy makes my stomach hurt just like eating any other type of vinyl.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
February 10th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
For Crankshaft fans, retired is a dog-whistle word for died. I gotta believe this strip was inspired by Al Scaduto’s death; Batiuk will create puns from sadness every time.
AlmostAGhost
February 10th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Is there anything worse than something mainstream pretending to be rebellious, like B.C. there?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 10th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
That B.C. is like the episode of the Simpsons where the two DJs are being told that they can be replaced with a computer called the “DJ-matic 3000″ or something. The computer has some recorded phrases that it says, one of which is “Looks like those clowns in Congress are at it again. What a bunch of clowns.”
To which one of the human DJs responds, “How does it keep up with the news like that?”
Mr. Barkie
February 10th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
GT — Andrew’s probably got attitude problems because he’s evolving into a seal. His hands are turning into li’l flippers.
And, hey, don’t go hatin’ on BC. Read the fine print at the bottom of panel one. It’s a product of Creators Syndicate. Thats what I call honest labeling. Although it’s troubling that God went Gotti and joined the Syndicate.
Mrs Buck Tuddrussell (Not Pirates!)
February 10th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
#15 Arbuckle – Indeed, we all did. Hell, when I was born, I was all forehead. I looked like an alien from “This Island Earth”.
ltrftp Hedly
February 10th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
What constitutes a colorblind comic?
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
February 10th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
The picture of Andrew Gregory lends credence that he is actually the young Plastic Man. He’s melting, I tell you, melting! No doubt by the hot rage of Gil Thorp!
Nekrotzar
February 10th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Was the Ecstasy given to the “spirit squad,” or was it given to readers of the comic, leading them to think that Marty Moon is sprouting additional heads?
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
#35 Kibo – I’ll take you up on that challenge.
MustacheMike
February 10th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I’m surprised H&J refered to the comics by their names. I was holding out for a “Oh that popular comic strip character who eats big sandwhiches.”
Nekrotzar
February 10th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
The B.C. committee has a point. It is because of its constant discussion of politics that such a witty, well-drawn, and thoughtful comic strip as Mallard Fillmore keeps getting canceled from papers.
Hey, you try saying that with a straight face.
Little Guy
February 10th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
8: Thanks for the roundup. The WashPost is quite diverse in that it has TWO of the strips in question.
But when Boondocks went AWOL, they plugged it with… Watch Your Head.
BC: First strip to be Cockpitted.
ScienceGiant
February 10th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
#$$ AUGH!. No one told be B.C.” meant kneel “before Cthulhu”
Zaq
February 10th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I love Gil Thorp a little more every day I read it. I’m not sure what’s best about this latest installment… the factory-second arms in the first panel, the nonsensical “goes off,” the totally drugged-out faces in all three panels (but especially panel 2), the nutty “always wet your hands before…”-style emphasis on versus in panel three, the abrupt shift of Andrew Gregory from “hotshot A-train basketball player” to “kind of lackluster and sluggish” that is sort of supposed to correspond with his alleged “arson” but doesn’t really make any sense no matter how you think of it… I love it, I love it all.
Niall
February 10th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Just a quick note to say I was amused at the A3G reference in Sally Forth, and how the whole My Cage week ended on a wonderfully sweet note that didn’t seem forced just for Valentine’s.
And that Cassandra also looks good in skiwear. Duh. :)
Vakar
February 10th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
MT: “More information about eating beaver can be found on the internet.”
Tracer Bullet
February 10th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
JP: On a comics page competing with mudfoots like Apartment 3-G and Mary Worth, I think today’s, “I better go.” “Goodbye.” “See ya’.” “So long.” “Okay, bye.” exchange creates a whole new level of stillness.Meanwhile, Sam has started chewing the leather on his office chair in a desperate attempt to obtain nutrients. While the man never get his corned beef on rye?
ArbuckleLovesLyman
February 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Re: FC. again.
Ok, it’s a pun, and I definitely didn’t see it. I feel stupid. Not as in I personally feel dim for not having noticed, but that my intelligence and the intelligence of all people, everywhere is called seriously into a question if we exist in the same universe as this stip.
Baka Gaijin
February 10th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Sunday Comics:
Slylock Fox: Cassandra “broke into” Sly’s room? No, Mr. Fox invited Cassie in and “broke into” her panties. If she were wearing any, that is.
Rhymes with Orange: I spy with my little eye, old mermaid nipples! Too bad they’re not attached to Darryl Hannah.
Pluggers: Ha ha, Plugger’s hovels are so mouse-infested that their cats are morbidly obese. Just like their owners.
Blondie: Dagwood’s audition pictures for Gil Thorp didn’t turn out so well. You can tell he’s the same gender from panel to panel.
Spiderman: I don’t read this strip. So Spiderman’s not an elephant? I guess he can’t do what a spider-elephant can.
Yes, another necropost. I hate getting late to the thread. Good night, Mrs. Calabash, where ever you may be.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 10th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
MT: “Beaver Problem Solver.” Why did my high school counselor not inform me of this career path?
Lolsworth
February 10th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Marty Moon’s resemblance to Mirror Universe Spock briefly got me thinking about what a Mirror Universe Gil Thorp would be like. Then I remembered that Gil Thorp is so stultifyingly bland that there would be no functional difference between the “good” universe and the “bad” universe, except the goatees. And slightly sexier outfits. (Brynna Antenna could end up with either one of these)
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
By the way, has anybody else heard the old Steve Taylor song “Meltdown?” I just read today’s Lio and now it’s running through my head.
Stranger...
February 10th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
*sigh*… I don’t have a link for Sunday Slylock fox… I usually rely on Josh if its worth reading, or drooling over…
wellsey
February 10th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
#27&33 OMG! Me too. I didn’t see that either. I thought Billy was just being his usual prick self. Turns out, he’s just an idiot.
Murph
February 10th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
There have been days when I’ve walked out the door and then thought to check if I had remembered to put on a pair of pants (so far, so good, and both legs used as well). I think the guy behind Marty Moon is happy because Marty forgot to double-check. I can just see the thought balloon: “Mmmmm. Marty’s moon.”
D
wellsey
February 10th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
In re: Same But Different day comics. Why are all the complainers old white men? I’d think it would be old white women complaining about ‘their’ comics at least that’s who I hold responsible for the crap on my comics page.
nerowolfgal
February 10th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
MW – What gets me is Drew’s tiny, tiny little face in the last panel.
Last week or so when he was full of self-worth his face was normal sized. In the agony of the (minutes? days?) spent in the donut shop talking to Vera, his face has gotten smaller and smaller as well as younger. Vera has successfully sucked all the testonsterone out of him and has literally deflated him.
All that is left is a tiny-faced eunuch, his soft piping voice announcing as he shuffles to the door “I am the one to leave!”
Mary Worth must be beaming with pride!
Carter
February 10th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the Family Circus family lives in rural West Virginia.
Muffaroo
February 10th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Pluggers – Of course Pluggers eat red pistachios. Those are the inferior ones that they dye red so that somebody will buy them. I expect the canine one is thinking this is the last time he’ll buy them expensive foreign nuts, and he’ll stick to peanuts from now on, unless he can find enough acorns on the ground.
Chyron HR
February 10th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Wow, Black Cartoonists Strike Back Day must have been like Christmas for Stephen “Herb and Jamaal” Bentley.
“I get to shit out the same strip I do twice a week where the stupid white strawman makes an ass of himself, but I can pretend it’s a protest? Sign me up! Are you guys going to have a “Have your characters stand around looking smug while the cartoonist quotes Langston Hughes” protest, too?”
Jamus The Bartender
February 10th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Tales Of Goldberg’s Bar.
Strip Day
Calvin called me again to fill in at Goldberg’s. Business was kind of slow ever since Cassandra found me cheating with her sister, Carla, and hadn’t spoken to me since just after Christmas.
I was wiping down the bar when the ol’ detective walked in as his shift ended.
“Hi, Dick. Your usual grain alcohol and prune juice?”
Dick looked up from out of reddened, bloodshot eyes, and asked, “Little early, isn’t it Jamus?”
“For a drink?”
“No, for stupid questions.”
I mixed America’s Greatest Detective ™ his libation while he pursued the Sunday funnies…” Did you find the guy who stole Chief Liz’ portrait yet?”
Dick rolled his eyes, ” Like I give a shit….GODDAMMIT!” Dick exclaimed suddenly in a painful voice which made me want to hit the 911 speed-dial button.
“You okay, Dick?”
‘NO, I’m not okay. I hate this fucking comic strip…” I only had a chance to look at the title for a half-second, but I think it said “Obama Luvz His Mama” , or something like that.
” It’s another one of those strips that’s just another rip-off of Mama’s Boys and that shit.”
I nodded, knowiing what was coming next. Another one of Dick’s insensitive tirades that usually ended with him saying something like “I’m only sayin’ what everyone’s thinkin’ ” and me having to separate him from getting his ass kicked by any people of color in the place. There was a seventy year old black woman who looked like she could kick his ass. I started talking loudly about the Giant’s win at the Superbowl, hoping he’d lose track of thought. No such luck…
“The newspaper got rid of They’ll Do It Every Time just to bring in THIS piece of shit? It must be tokenism. Goddamn PC secret police…”
“Dick, the cartoonist of TDIET died about two months ago now…”
“That doesn’t make any fucking difference. ” Dick said, slamming down his drink, not spilling a drop. He wasn’t THAT far gone. “They need to get back to strips with more white people. Strips that EVERYBODY can relate to…”
Dick went back to reading his funnies…
Coming up in five…
Four….
Three…
Two…
One…
Wiping a glass, I asked, “Everyone meaning you?”
Dick didn’t answer….he was too busy murmuring something like, “Oo…yeah…take it off Luann….so sweet and tender…” I cut him off for the rest of the night.
——–fin——–
Allie Cat
February 10th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
#8 – Godzooky – I absolutely loved Keith Knight’s Andy Capp barb. It ran on Salon.com Wednesday. Also, I just love his artwork. I wish he’d do a daily.
Back when I was in 6th Grade, our Language Arts (which is to say, English) teacher paired us off, gave us Sunday Comics to work with, taught us how to use erasers to get rid of the text, and had us write new dialogue for the strips.
I remember that the guy I had a crush on made an ax out of Andy Capp’s pool cue, and that my partner and I had to redo John Patterson looking through garbage for Elly’s lost ring in FOOB. And guess what – she had actually laid on the window sill and it was there all along. Har, har har! Oh the humanity!!!
I guess this is where my love of the funnies and making fun of them started.
Spyglass
February 10th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
@ John C. Fremont, #14:
In U.K. English, “going off” is a euphemism for becoming spoiled (”I think the milk has gone off”). I think that may help explain today’s Gil Thorp.
Oddball
February 10th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
#51 – Incidentally, if you Google “eating beaver”, the first result is a site named The Great Canadian Beaver Eating Contest. I was giggling away at how my nutty country men could be so honky as to actually eat beaver. And then I went to the site. And uh… yeah, it’s actually pretty much about cunnilingus.
Hasty Penguin
February 10th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Gil Thorp always frightens me a little when Lucifer comes on to do the radio broadcast.
Also, B.C. has its downsides and has never been funny to my recollection, but I think the message of being aware of government censorship of the media is an important one (and at least shows someone isn’t being entirely apathetic regarding it).
John C Fremont
February 10th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
# 68 – Now THAT makes sense!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 10th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
#67 Allie Cat — you called it Language Arts in school? So did we! Where are you from? I’m from Victoria, B.C.
captainswift
February 10th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
So why is the basketball game taking place in Gil’s kitchen?
Kaitlyn
February 10th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
72 SQB – They called it Language Arts until high school, I believe, and I went to school in a Memphis, TN suburb. (And a military base, but I don’t remember.)
In middle school, did anyone have 2 separate periods for what would become just English in 9th grade? All 3 years of middle school, I had English one period, and Reading the next. In 6th grade, I was in apex because honors/advanced classes didn’t start until 7th, so I had different teachers for English and Reading.
In 7th and 8th grade, I had the English 2nd period and Reading 3rd (or the other way around) taught by the same teacher. That was fun in 8th grade, because every Friday, for 3rd period (the second hour), we got to learn bits of a foreign language. (So we could decide which one to take in high school.)
dale
February 10th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Blondie -
Anybody ever happen to look into a copier when it goes off? In one blinding flash you will learn to turn your head if you have to work with the cover open. I wouldn’t try it face down even with my eyes tightly closed.
Prince Valiant -
Why does that fortress have gates that are 30 feet high? With all the steps, nothing on wheels is going in or out. Probably not even horses or camels.
Paul W.
February 10th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
#8 – Maybe it’s just me, but when the criticism is “people think our strips are interchangeable,” the best way to handle it may not be “let’s make our strips as interchangeable as possible for one day.”
Heck, they even used the same punchline. There are plenty of lame strips they could’ve picked on, so why use Dennis the Menace and Dagwood more than once?
Jamus The Bartender
February 10th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
The Cat And The Curmudgeon Valentine’s Day Special
I was in the middle of making coffee for Dick when she hobbled in on her crutches, a look of pain twisting her feline countenance.
“Feline countenance”. Damn. I must really be reaching here. Anyway, I mixed her favorite, a dish of cream with just a scosh of brandy. The good kind.
I looked up at her and smiled. “You’re looking good , baby.”
Cass didn’t look at me at first. Too much hurt had gone down. She smiled at Dick and kissed him on the cheek. “Hi gwandpa. ” she cooed.
Dick looked at her cast. ” How in hell did that happen?”
Cassandra pouted. ” I went skiing an’ went “boom” inna snow.”
“Only birds can fly, honey” Dick smirked, as Cassandra playfully punched him in the arm.
Dick got up to leave. ” I gotta tip out….Tess’ll wonder who i’m seeing now. Good seeing ya honey.”
” Don’t gooooo” Cassandra whined.
“Ahh….I gotta hit the sack…the Chief’s on my ass about this portrait…and besides, ” Dick said with an upturned rectangle eyebrow, ” I’m not the one you came to see and we all know it.”
Cassandra sat at the bar actively not looking at me for about five minutes. The seventy year old black lady left the bar.
As she walked out, Cassandra immediately tore into me. ” I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAD SEX WITH MY SISTER HOW COULD YOU I CRIED FOR A MONTH AND GAINED TEN POUNDS AND DID COKE AGAIN I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU…”
She was right of course….what could I say to that? Nothing. The only thing I could ask was, “What happened to your ankle?”
She shrugged it off, ” Twisted it. It’s okay…”
” Does it hurt?”
Cassandra nodded, tears welling up. ” My ankle, or me?”
I put down the bar rag. ” Both”.
” Need some aspirin for it?” I asked.
Cassandra looked at me, biting her bottom lip….and barely murmured two words, so softly it was doubtful she had said them at all….” Rub it?”
I walked over, sitting on the stool next to her, taking her ankle in my hands, an ankle which had scaled buildings and been wrapped around my back too many times to count.
” I’m sorry, baby.”
Cassandra nodded. “You should be. Asshole.”
” No…honestly….I won’t tell you how guilty I felt or ask me for a second chance or any of that …I’ll leave that dishonorable shit to Doctor Drew….I just hope we can still be friends. We’ve been through too much together not to be. Besides…I feel blessed that you’re even here with me today…”
Cass rolled her eyes a little…” Jamus. You’re an unbelievable moron…”
I nodded, ” I know…you don’t have to remind me…”
” No….I mean, yeah , you were a moron when you did that….horrible thing….but…”
Cass took a deep breath…
“I’m sitting here in a bar, with my foot in your lap, and you’re stroking my leg….and it’s four days before Valentine’s Day. Do the fucking math.”
She smiled a little,and before I could say, “Huh?”, she had her tounge down my throat, kicking off her cast, her hands running up and down my back.
I looked back into her eyes. ” What about the cast?”
” Oh, I don’t need it. My ankle got better after two days.”
She still smelled like vanilla. ” Happy Valentines Day, kittycat.”
“Happy Valentines Day, Jamus. Carry me upstairs. Now.”
The End
Joe Blevins
February 10th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Here’s my third panel for BC.
dale
February 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Kaitlyn & SQB
I went to school in a Chicago suburb. Didn’t have middle schools, never heard of one until I was at least 22 and living near Pittsburgh.
Junior HS was 7th and 8th grades. Language Arts was the term used to cover whatever it was supposed to teach.
The year I started 6th grade, “they” came up with a plan where the 3 section teachers would rotate such that 1 would do arithmetic, 1 reading, and 1 English for all 3 sections. The explanation was that this would get us used to having different teachers when we reached Junior HS. I thought at the time, and still do nearly 50 years later, that it was really a matter of what the individuals actually wanted or knew how to teach.
I still can’t figure out what could be taught in a 6th grade reading class, but I’m sure I got an A.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
#26 Rainbird – When you mentioned “Secret Asian Man” I thought it sounded interesting, so I checked the comic out and came up with this for today’s comic:
http://www.comics.com/comics/sam/index.html
Is it a commentary on what the “black” comics are doing today?
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 10th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
#8 Gadzooky,
Up until reading your comment I had only read the “Herb & Jamaal” version of that routine. It seemed weird for H&J to be taking up the cause of edgy, urban comics, since it’s basically Hi & Lois with the occasional Zora Neale Hurson quote. The point is a good one, though. Newspapers have enough troubles. It would be stupid to purge the darker-hued strips from the comics page. These Archie Bunker guys won’t be around forever.
Kaitlyn
February 10th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
79 dale – we had to rotate classes in fifth grade to prepare us for 6th grade!
There 3 5th grade teachers, and they all taught “Language Arts”. Mine taught Social Studies, the other one taught math, and the third taught science. We got to dissect an owl pellet and use a fake checkbook! And the SS class was awesome beyond words, because at the end of the year, the fifth grade went to Shiloh! It was always a school day, and we rode in buses and took pictures and had lots of fun.
What wasn’t so fun was the tornadoes. When we got back to Memphis, they hit Shiloh. And my sister (who was in 2nd grade) was at my dad’s trailer the whole afternoon! (We had to spend a lot of time at his place during the divorce proceedings, and we both hated it.)
What also sucks is that within a couple years, they moved the Shiloh trip to Saturday, and god knows if they still do it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 10th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
#58 Stranger…,
The online version of the Washington Post has Slylock Fox. I have a feeling Josh will be snarking on it anyway, since it’s a Cassandra day.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 10th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I missed the oh-so-not-funny pun in FC. I don’t care. It’s way passed the time anything in that comic was funny.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 10th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
HotC: Looks like Tatulli has gone all crossover and put Heart into Lio’s world. Excellent. I can hardly wait to see Lio’s tryout for the pep squad.
Weaselboy
February 10th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Don’t worry, Jeffy. Your forehead will develop about the time your testicles drop.
Harlequin
February 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Is a forehead some sort of rite of passage in the Keane household? Does Jeffy in fact have to go out and slay a sleeping hobo to be eligible to have a forehead?
Or is it in fact that Billy’s getting a little jealous that he’s getting up in his years and that Jeffy is now the Cute Keane, and is trying to shatter Jeffy’s self esteem with poorly-expressed logic?
BigTed
February 10th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I know I’m far from the first to point some of these out, but I just wanted to delight in the pop-culture characters populating today’s “Gil Thorp”: (from left) Billy Batson, Plastic Man, Ted Danson, Frankenstein’s Monster, Felicity Huffman in “Transamerica,” The Invisible Man, Ashton Kutcher, Evil Spock, and, most appropriately, Dauber from “Coach.” Of course, the basketball is played by Wilson, the volleyball from “Cast Away.”
Vince M
February 10th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Today’s “The New Adventures of Queen Victoria” should be of interest to folks here.
fancycwabs
February 10th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I’m just curious as to where the 7 vials are in the Bible.
SecretMargo
February 10th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
8: That may be the best Herb & Jamal I’ve ever seen. It’s even paced the most naturally of the strips you linked to, probably because the deliberately hackneyed rhythms of the script they came up with actually suit H&J’s usual method of settin’ ‘em up and knocking ‘em down almost perfectly(as Chyron at #65 points out). The only real deviation was the somewhat shocking specificity of the punchline, which made it slightly funnier.
Well, okay, upon consideration, this is the best H&J ever. But you can only go to the hardcore porn place so often before the effect dwindles, as RMMD has demonstrated for what seems like the past twenty years.
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 10th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny
Saturday’s SFx has the graham crackers if you’ve got the marshmallows.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080209&name=Slylock
1) Only the boy on the left will hear the following phrase within the next week: “Now, using the doll, show me where the snowman touched you.”
2) The bird on the right is an ex-mourning dove.
3) The marshmallows in the bag on the right were manufactured by MarshmallowsInAPaperBag, whose motto is “Freshness is a Temporary Thing.” They went bankrupt in two months.
4) The creature in the snowman on the right is the same bunny we met last Sunday: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080203&name=Slylock
5) The boy on the left’s hands are freezing. The boy on the right is wearing flesh-colored gloves.
6) The boy on the right was forced to make S’mores after dark for his entire Cub Scout troop as a hazing ritual.
This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by the Rolla Roaster.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
February 10th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
BB: Beetle, Ziggy called. He wants his “Mom’s Diner” schtick back.
B.Starr: Spiff, Aldo Kelrast called. He wants his look back. He says you can keep the Flock of Seagulls hairdo, though.
FC: Who still enjoys this hoary old gag? “Not me!” “Not me!”
FW: Batiuk, don’t remind us of the days before you sucked.
DT: Hell of a 24-hour guard you got there, Dick. How long does it take to succumb to chloroform? Long enough for a supposedly trained and fit cop to break free of a one-arm hold, I would think.
Rusty
February 10th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
9CL’s Brooke McEldowny will show his support of the black comic strips by introducing an African-American character. He will be a janitor at the Ivy League college where the professor teaches; it will be a non-speaking role.
Deborah
February 10th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Have we already decided that Marty Moon is really Evil Spock from That Opposite World Episode With a Memorable Name? I think that headset hides his pointy ears.
Toronto
February 10th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
#49 Zaq: Spockears isn’t stressing vs – he’s using a typographical convention for foreign words. “Versus”, after all, has only been used in English for about 600 years or so.
It’s from the republic of Latonia, I believe.
lylebot
February 10th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Gil Thorp’s wife seems to be fantasizing about making out with Kaz (or Coach Shaw??) in panel 2.
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
#80 Anonymous – Heh, nice.
pleinedepoisson
February 10th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
My paper doesn’t carry a single strip that isn’t a legacy strip, except Get Fuzzy. So I saw none of those Same but Different strips in the paper.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
February 10th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
BC: I had to take a shot at a third panel, too.
Moon Mullins
February 10th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
79 dale:
Your Chicago suburb experience sounds identical to my Chicago suburb experience at Lake Bluff Junior High. But I have heard that they too have fallen prey to the Middle School phenomenon, and there is no such thing as Junior High there anymore. I was in Junior High from 72-74; I know it was still LBJH when my baby sister went from 82-84 (with little boys Vince Vaughn and Dave Eggers!).
So I am not sure when they converted to a Middle School, but I suspect it was around the time they banned Dodge Ball.
150
February 10th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
A third panel of BC. Go go MS Paint.
SecretMargo
February 10th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
100: Dean – Okay, now I just feel pandered to.
(….and it feels good.)
Lou Shumaker
February 10th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I love commodorejohn’s Lovecraftian version, if only because I have the book the art is taken from (Arkham House’s “The Call of Cthluhu and other stories”) Wayyyy cool.
commodorejohn
February 10th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
#104 Lou Shumaker – Heh, that’s without a doubt my favorite piece of Lovecraftian art. (That and Metallica’s “The Call Of Ktulu.” Good stuff.)
Deena in OR
February 10th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
69.
Honest-to-goodness story from when I taught in a private school.
The entire school was working on small group projects-basically presentations about countries being studied. One of the teachers (in all charity, English was not her first language…) sent a third grade boy out to our bank of school computers (which did *not* have nanny filters) to do an internet search for ‘beaver’.
I caught him just as he hit “send” on the Google page. I’ve never closed a page so fast in my life :)
Foobarski
February 10th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
It looks like Compu-Toon did a “meta-joke” on “Same, But Different” Strip Day.
Buck Ripsnort (is -not- an elephant)
February 10th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Umm– I’ve
readglanced at FC for most of my life, and no Keane’s have EVER had a forehead. The artist is too cheap for that little stroke of ink connecting their noses to their hair.Poteet
February 11th, 2008 at 12:02 am
# 106 Deena — I wish you’d been around to warn me before I did a MT-related “beaver” search. Never again.
boojum
February 11th, 2008 at 12:32 am
90. fancycwabs:
Seven vials — Revelation 15.
Mr. O'Malley
February 11th, 2008 at 5:15 am
I am signing off on my Microsoft Vista system. It is a total piece of shit. This is the second time it has totally lost everything I have been trying to enter.
Anything you see from now on will be on my XP system.
If you have any Microsoft stock, you had better sell it now! I foresee bankruptcy within a couple of years.
JPool
February 11th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I decided sometime ago that the drawing style in Gil Thorp was best explained as a result of the artist’s unique creative process: First of course, they write the storyline. Then, they break that storyline down into a series of vignettes. Then, they arrange several of their many department store mannequins into an “action pose” that best illustrates the drama of this particular moment, using suitable backdrops and props where necessary. The resulting tableau is drawn simply and clearly, with each “panel” placed sequentially in sets of three. A “strip” is now ready for the reading public.
If occasionally one of the mannequins has an arm misattached, or it’s head placed upon the body of another at an unfortunate angle, well those are the risks of the creative process.
gnome de la jungle patrol
February 11th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I actually thought Billy’s comment was kinda funny. Relatively speaking. Considering it was “Family Circus” and all.
Not to mention that it’s another example of the cruel tyranny Jefy suffered under as a child. But you have to power now, don’t you Jef!? Ha! Ha! Way to make your evil siblings squirm!
Dik-Dik Vendetta
February 11th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I haven’t read all the comments yet, but anyone else think that maybe Battiuk is sending us a signal about the future of his strip(s)?
Bonwah
February 11th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Agreed that Marty Moon is aping the alternate universe Nimoy. (The episode, by the way, is Mirror, Mirror.)
On the plus side, perhaps Marty can now publish an autobiography titled “I Am Not Spock.”
Jordan
February 11th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Wait a minute… Herb and Jamaal are black?! I think it says something about the artwork that the thought never before crossed my mind.
JC
February 12th, 2008 at 12:31 am
Actually, as to the wisecracks about “genetic freaks,” the Andrew character, with the “impossibly” long arms and weirdly angled wrists, looks like he could have Marfan syndrome. A lot of undiagnosed Marfans play sports like basketball, due to their height and flexibility, then die on the court. Since it’s “Have a Heart for Marfan month,” it would be cool if there were actually some kind of reference.
But I doubt it.
Cynic Sage
February 15th, 2008 at 12:07 am
“I pressed one of your body’s hidden power points, Jeffy. You’re already dead.“