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“Launches an 18-footer” also sounds kind of suspect

Apartment 3-G, 2/13/08

Yes, what must he think of you, Lu Ann? Since last we saw your art opening was actually in progress, and “meanwhile” you’re moping around Apartment 3-G, I’d imagine that he’s thinking something like this:

“God damn it, where is that moron? It’s not like these profoundly mediocre fern paintings are going to fly off the walls by themselves; since Margo has gone out of her way to make the show all about Lu Ann and her ghostly inspiration, the least she can do is come down here and sell this crap. She’d better be wearing something low-cut, too, that can only help. I swear to God, I — hey, there’s my connection! Gotta run!”

For Better Or For Worse, 2/13/08

Amusing as it is to see toddler Elizabeth wandering around with a toilet on her head (all the better to prepare for a life of being crapped on by Anthony! Har har!), I’m even more tickled by Ellie’s opening sentence, which sort of implies that her mother worries that she in fact does not plan to potty-train her daughter, but will rather allow her to go through life urinating and defecating in her pants whenever the mood strikes. “We were going to train Lizzie, mom, but you saw what a jerk Michael turned into after we did it. I swear, it’s too bad Freud isn’t alive; he’d have a field day with what learning to poop in a bowl did to that kid’s personality. We figure a lifetime of changing diapers will be a small price to pay.”

Gil Thorp, 2/13/08

“…starts muscling Andrew Gregory…”

“A slick back-door cut…”

“…shakes loose underneath…”

You know, some days this stuff pretty much just writes itself.

Family Circus, 2/13/08

“There’s only one way to figure this out — I’m going to pee on his head!”

OK, that … that was probably unforgivable. But why did they draw Billy fumbling with his fly if they didn’t want me to make this joke, huh? Why? Why do you tempt me, O Family Circus?

199 responses to ““Launches an 18-footer” also sounds kind of suspect”

  1. Sans Sense
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Add to that the wistful gaze of Mr. Martin Moon…

  2. Sans Sense
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Barfy must have learned from Thel to pretend he’s asleep when Billy’s “in the mood”.

  3. Sans Sense
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    1 and 2? What gives? Is the Intertube down?

  4. Hasty Penguin
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    It’s a good thing those Family Circus kids have matching shoes for their outfits. They always look so cute when they’re sneaking up on the dog. The dog looks content as Jeffy is about to turn around and walk into oblivion with the sadness of his failing.

  5. Trekkie
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Luann – And once again the girl-who-crushes disses her friend because someone with a Y chromosome calls. Just seconds after promising not to put boys first.
    I think, therefore, that Greg Evans writes his comics on a Mobius strip.

  6. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Barfy’s done bein’ Barfy.

  7. Sirkus Peanuts
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    So is the Valley hoop mounted sideways like that one ritualistic Aztec game? If so, I can’t wait for the part where the losing team gets eaten.

  8. Kibo
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Why is every “Gil Thorp” strip slowly listing to starboard? Is the strip trying to tell us that it’s a sinking Titanic? Or are they just trying to tell us the Joker is plotting a scheme to corrupt the youth of Milford?

    (“Boys and girls, go back to your studies! Believe me, nothing in life is free!” — Batman)

  9. Shlomo
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    The pair in the “Slick back door cut” looks like the Ambigously Gay Duo.

    I don’t play much basketball anymore, but I think the A-train missed the shot in panel 1 because he doesn’t have the damn ball and he is out on the court raising his hand if he is sure.

    Josh, you think your thoughts are unforgiveable? My thoughts were worse, especially as Billy lowered his mid-section towards Barfy’s mouth.

  10. Sans Sense
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    9. Shlomo -

    I think Culver Vale is one of the panel two duo…

  11. True Fable
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Andrew Gregory launches an 18-footer – Holy SHIT, what a prom night ahead for him.

  12. Zaq
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s up with that Family Circus. I don’t want to know. That pose is not natural.

    Meanwhile, Gil Thorp had me slightly worried, since I actually kind of understood what was going on for a period of a week or two. Thankfully we’re back to normal; I don’t understand a single panel. Bliss.

  13. Phaleux
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy: Ohhhhhh, so that’s what they mean by weiner dog!

  14. Adfella
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    I can almost tolerate the fact that Family Circus is by turns sickeningly saccharine or decidedly unfunny, (after all, what business is it of mine if some people are amused by such drivel?) but…….

    As a graphic artist, I am most offended by the piss-poor drawing.

    Look at the composition of today’s laugh-fest…disembodied Billy and Jeffy float on a flat sea of purple, which extends to the edge of a wall of white emptiness that extends seemingly outward to infinity.

    And that gaping, ugly, empty hole between the two young lads is…..gaping, ugly and empty

    If the Keane Team is content with lame puns and non-humorous punchlines, couldn’t they at least devote a few freakin’ minutes to creating an eye-pleasing composition?

  15. Daijinryuu
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    I love that Lu Ann says that they “quarreled.” Maybe she’s going to mourn with tea and crumpets.

  16. BigTed
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy may not have taught Barfy how to stay, but from the way he’s positioned, it looks like Barfy taught him how to stand on his hind legs and beg.

  17. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    #8 Kibo — that’s kind of what I was going to say. Like, are they leaning to the side when they draw Gil Thorp, or…

  18. Mac
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    So, that’s four comics today, and the scoreboard reads:

    SEX: 1
    DRUGS: 1

    So, pretty much a normal day, then.

  19. frumpiefox
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    GT: An 18 footer??!?! Somebody OD’ed on the Dual Action Cleanse….

  20. nerowolfgal
    February 13th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    GT – Another gratuitous crotch shot from Gil Throp! I think, if I hated someone, I would hang panel 2 from a wall and make them stare at it. Then I would have them try to explain what is going on. Are the people lying on the floor? Are two standing and a dead body is lying on the floor? The more you look, the worse the perspective is.

  21. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Josh, your FC/pee quip left me snickering silently in my cubicle.

    A combination of having an office job and access to the internet is training me to laugh silently all the time, which concerns me. I may sprain something.

  22. jules
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Did no one else see Elvis in Panel Two of Gil Thorp?! Elvis, y’all! I seen him! Thankyavurrymuch.

  23. Zorba the Geek
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Josh, how could you be so cruel to poor Lu Ann? “Profoundly mediocre”? I think not. Why, I’ve seen art every bit as good at that at K-Mart. Wal-Mart, even.

  24. Josh (not THE Josh)
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    You missed the fact that Andrew Gregory’s got an “18 footer” to “launch.”

  25. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll see Elvis – mostly the one in the middle, though.

  26. Mars
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    I like the old FBOFW much better, and today’s gag is a prime example why. Some of the funniest little-kid jokes the funnies have ever had came from those early years. The potty on the head is awesome!

  27. Laura c
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Actually, in its original context the “of course we’re going to train Lizzy” line would have made sense. Parents in the 60s and 70s potty trained kids later (in line with Dr. Spock and kindred). Previous generations tended to potty train kids early — partly because they didn’t have disposable diapers.

  28. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    #21 Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator – Indeed, I have found that silent snickering must be performed with caution, lest your sinuses explode.

    Well, that’s what it felt like, anyway.

  29. kippetje2000
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Elizardbreth: Once a shit-pot-head always a shit-pot-head.

  30. Obélix
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Can someone ‘splain to me how the burglary and robbery of the house of a retired small-town gas station owner comes under FBI jurisdiction, let alone turns into a top Bureau priority?

  31. Islamorada Girl
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    I think Barfy might be dead. He died from the humiliation of being in this awful, awful strip, poor baby.

  32. Perky Bird
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus– Ah, now that I see it in color, it’s not quite as disturbing. Well, it’s still disturbing because Billy is about to wiz on th dead dog. But in the black-and-white version, there is no “ground” line, only a vast white void in which the three figures float creepily.

  33. Crankier Word
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    I about choked when I read Gil Thorp. Even if backdoor cut is a real move, nobody should ever put the word slick in front of it. Especially not with the expressions the two gentlemen in that panel are wearing as they awkwardly position themselves.

  34. Perky Bird
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    If Andrew Gregory just “launched an 18 footer”, let’s hope he doesn’t have one of those wimpy “low flush” models. Otherwise, he’s gonna need a mop and a plunger.

  35. Weaselboy
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    I remember when launching an 18-footer meant you were taking your sailboat out. Ah, I miss the good old days when there was no such thing as sexual innuendo.

  36. Steve S
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Panel 2 of Gil Thorp clearly proves they’re playing the basketball variant where you use trampolines. Either that or the floating pair of legs in the background is a metaphorical representation of how high you have to be to enjoy Gil Thorp.

  37. teegee
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    FC: Barfy: “I hope my smile doesn’t betray the fact that I’ve purposely broken my left paw in the hopes that the searing pain will block the voices of these two idiots. Sweet, sweet, excruciating-yet-auditory-path-blocking pain …”

  38. Nate
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    I’m left to assume that they’re playing basketball in today’s Gil Thorp? Because honestly, given the fact that all the players seem to be floating in midair and that the hoop seems to be perpendicular to the ground, I kinda figured maybe they were playing Quidditch.

  39. Benjamin Baxter
    February 13th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]


    Does it bother anyone else that they’re playing the Valley Tech Aryans?

  40. Islamorada Girl
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    If Spider-Man has all these advanced degrees in physics, why is he working as a schlub newspaper photographer when he’s not sitting on the couch watching judge shows and other daytime TV? I knew academic politics were awful, but not that awful.

  41. fluffy
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Is that an actual classic FOOB or is it one which has been redrawn by today’s Lynn Johnston out of spite for the old ones? The heavy overuse of ziptones and the lack of graceful flowing lines (instead being all lopsided and weird) makes me think it’s the latter.

  42. Mac
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    I prefer to think that they’re playing the Mesoamerican Ballgame, on the off chance that someone becomes a human sacrifice.

  43. Harold
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    I believe today’s “Love Is…” has finally gone into the realm of porn, or pretty close to it:

    It’s the stiletto-heel boots. And the pose. And the suggestively-held gas nozzle. And the CFM bedroom eyes.

  44. Manos
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    FC:Can I take that image of Billy and make him peeing on a Chevy/Ford/Dodge logo? Or hey, maybe he can piss on Osama bin Laden. Or maybe on the words “Jap Crap”? Move over, Calvin Pissing, Billy’s Willie is in town, and his first victim is dead dogs!

    (do you suppose Jeffy killed Barfy for food, sacrifice, or both?)

  45. Hubris
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    With the doll apparently having been dropped execution style with a quick double-tap, it’s reminiscent of the “Layla” montage from Goodfellas–except it is static, lacks any artistic sensibility, and involves poop.

  46. Nate
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Also, does anybody else notice that Jeffy is wearing a Flashdance outfit complete with purple unitard under black dance pants and turquoise ankle warmers?

    He’s a maniac.

  47. smacky
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    Wow, that Christian single in the ad above has a huge rack! Mixed signals…

  48. Rickbee
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Lessee, in today’s Sherman’s Lagoon, a turtle and crab are debating the merits of driving a car underwater to the gym rather than the crab riding a bike (also presumably underwater) so the crab can meet “women”. The turtle says “seems silly”. Silly indeed. Not even a “Davy Jones’ Locker” gag.

  49. Tim
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    47: I’m seeing that too… maybe I gave up on the church too soon.

  50. Rainbird
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    31 Islamorada Girl

    I was thinking the same thing when I saw that dog. I wonder why Jeffy killed him. Poor thing. Didn’t like his name.

  51. Alan Vanneman
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    O ho! It was the tranquilizer dart that numbed Spidey’s spider sense, smart ass! I’ll bet you feel dumb–dumber than usual, that is. All together now:

    Spiderman! Spiderman!
    Does everything a spider can!

    Spiderman! Spiderman!
    Does everything a spider can!

    (Excuse me, I’m tearing up. One more time!)

    Spiderman! Spiderman!
    Does everything a spider can!

    Oh, Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!

  52. Hank
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    RE: Garfield and Dilbert A woman has a letter in today’s Ithaca Journal saying that “frequently I skip ‘Garfield’ and ‘Dilbert’ when their humor gets too black.”


  53. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    #43 Harold – o_O You’re right. Zits can’t say “sucks” but man, Love Is…biker-hooker roleplay.

    #47 smacky – Gah, everybody’s seeing the Christian Singles gal but me! Could someone save or Printscreen the image and throw it on imageShack?

  54. avatarjk137
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Comments 31, 32 and so on: of course Barfy is dead. You see that smile? That’s the unmistakable bliss of escaping those violent religious cretins for good. No living thing in the Keane Compound smiles like that unless it’s part of the regime.

  55. salmon pink
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Everywhere I turn, I see her! How do I make it stop?”

    Just keep grinding your grotesquely over-sized hand into your eyes, Drew. It will stop. It will stop.

  56. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    #55 salmon pink – Not necessarily…remember what really happened to The Man With X-Ray Eyes…

  57. Anna Nimity of the Western Division Jungle Patrol
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    47. Smacky – If you look at the Christian Singles girl REALLY close, you can see her thong.

  58. Niall
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Josh: You’re still being kinder on FC on an alternate caption than I was. So don’t feel too bad. It just can’t be rescued.

  59. Daktari
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

  60. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    #59 Daktari – I can’t get anything other than a thumbnail size, but I think I see what everyone’s getting at ;)

  61. Buck Ripsnort (is -not- an elephant)
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Lizzie’s butt-headedness started early.

    GT: “Back Door Cut” I forgive. But nothing, NOTHING in this strip has ever been “slick”.

  62. Islamorada Girl
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Speaking as a lapsed Episcopalian, I can only marvel that there are actually Bible- banging hookers out there, as portrayed in the soi-dissant
    Christian Singles ad. Things sure have changed since we were warned not to slow a sliver of slip, lest the boys be tempted into Sinful Thoughts.

  63. alamo
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    43 “love is…”

    launching an 18 footer!

  64. Islamorada Girl
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    I’m also happy to note that Christains can join for free. That’s such a relief. I was afraid they might reject those who were didn’t smell the burning rubber of Error on the Spelling Question

  65. Niall
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    43. Harold: Holy CRAP that “love is…” is disturbing!! In the sense of what it seems to convey – and I see no other reason than pure kinky sex there.

  66. Daktari
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    60 C-john-
    I’ve been having trouble uploading a closer pic because it won’t let me upload adware. But at least the x-ians are trying to use sexy women to sell their site.

  67. Cami
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    I was doing pretty good at keeping the laughter in check until I read the comment for FC. Then I had to explain to my roommate that:

    1) I was reading Family Circus
    2) I was laughing very loudly at Family Circus
    3)I was laughing very loudly at Family Circus because the suggestion had been made that one of the little boys was going to pee on a dog’s head.

    It was an awkward couple of minutes.

  68. dyslexic dog
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    #57 – Anna Nimity (WDJP):
    That’s not a thong. It’s a wedding ring!

  69. Daktari
    February 13th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    I was going to say “pimping their site” , but that would have been wrong. Right, Jebus?

  70. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    #66 Daktari – Perhaps if you use Paint’s “invert colors” option it won’t recognize it, and then I can un-invert it on my end…at any rate, thanks for letting me finally get a glimpse at what everybody’s talking about.

  71. Gabacho
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus – Barfy’s napping? Better be careful or Mary Worth will whisk him off to the vets and pretend to adopt him.

    Christian Singles – I am very disappointed in them. They do not accept Men Seeking Men for hot steamy fellowship. Also, they don’t list Mormons which means my last chance to meet the Romney boys is shot.

  72. Plaid Phantom
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    I still find it creepy when sites guess where I am based on whatever it is they base it on. IP Address, I guess.

  73. dyslexic dog
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a few more strips (and I mean strips) from Leon, the pen name of Bill Asprey, who now draws “Love Is…” with writer Stephano Casali. Check out Neptune in the bottom panel (and I mean bottom).

  74. dyslexic dog
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    #73: Sorry, it’s Stefano.

    I hate when my name’s spelled wrng.

  75. Citric
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    22: I can only see a mysterious floating crotch. What is your purpose, floating crotch? Do you mean us well, or harm? Are you the creator, or the destroyer? Can we gaze upon your majesty, or must we look away in shame?

  76. dyslexic dog
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    Well, Citric, my friend, it looks like we’ve closed the place down.

  77. Wilbur of the North
    February 13th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Let’s ignore the Christian singles ad. After awhile they’ll try a different marketing strategy… topless Christian singles

  78. Oddball
    February 13th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    How can Andrew miss the shot when he’s not even holding the ball? The guy is digging his elbow into the A-train’s ribcage while he’s fake-shooting?

  79. commodorejohn
    February 13th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    #77 Wilbur Of The North – No, no, they’ll have her use her feminine wiles to lure the non-Christians in to be desexualized, but for her to *shudder* display the mammaries God gave her would be a sin.

  80. Mighty Max King
    February 13th, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    Please please please could somebody photographically recreate panel two of Gil Thorpe? Handicap: can only use three dimensions.

  81. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    February 13th, 2008 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    So “Love Is…” used to be drawn by a woman, which explains the girlish drawing style, and is now drawn by a man, which explains the sexual joke and stiletto boots. Gotta say, the combo is disturbing. It’s like Hello Kitty doing porn.

    On to Christian Singles. I’m seeing that ad too. I have, in fact, clicked on a lot of ads on this site, but never that one. I don’t click on the ladies; that’s not how I roll. Anyway, I can’t help but wonder what key words are triggering it? Oh hell, what if the keywords are “Family Circus”?

    Speaking of which, today’s strip, with its awkward patty-cake/gotta-pee posing, makes more sense if you think of it as a cut and paste.

  82. Flipper
    February 13th, 2008 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    From: Karen Moy
    To: Joe Giella
    Sent: Sunday, March 11, 2007 11:48 PM
    Subject: RE: Where’s the damn outline?!

    Joe –

    This wouldn’t happen if you’d stick with the pacing AS INDICATED! Mary should have been in Vietnam for MONTHS more.


    Day 1 We meet sassy Vera Shields at Affect Advertising
    Day 9: Vera meets Mary
    Day 14: Vera moves into Ella’s old place, begins brooding
    Day 51: Mary learns Vera hates her brother Von (fill in details)
    Day 85: Vera & Von reconcile
    Day 94: Mary invites Vera to pool party (so it has to be SUMMER)
    Day 103: Mary invites Drew to pool party
    Day 109: Drew meets Vera
    Day 115: Drew meets Dawn
    Day 119: Drew’s brown hair turns black (don’t ask why, just do it!)
    Day 123: Drew calls Vera, is rebuffed
    Day 127: Dawn calls Drew, makes lunch date
    Day 131: Dawn invites Drew “horseback riding”
    Day 140: Dawn and Drew are closer after weeks of “horseback riding”
    Day 147: Colleagues harass Drew for “horseback riding” with a child
    Day 154: Vera calls Drew, makes dinner date
    Day 156: The Date begins
    Day 161: Vera and Drew kiss (make it HOT!!!)
    Day 164: Drew begins ignoring Dawn
    Day 184: Vera tells Drew she wants to go “horseback riding”
    Day 190: Dawn catches Drew with Vera
    Day 197: Drew is sad and alone, talks with Mary and Jeff
    Day 210: Dawn receives roses from Drew
    Day 212: Vera receives roses from Drew
    Day 213: Von calls Vera; offers her money; she says no yes
    Day 220: Drew calls Vera, she yells at him
    Day 231: Mary and Jeff discuss Vera and Drew
    Day 232: Mary saves a dog or something
    Day 310: Drew receives call from Vera while jogging
    Day 316: Drew meets Vera at local café (donut shop? bagel shop? your call)
    Day 322: Vera’s new hunky beau Ben Frank Ryan Harris shows up
    Day 329: Ryan leaves
    Day 336: Drew leaves
    Day 337: Drew drives into the night, parks at Lovers’ Leap
    Day 340: Ryan and Vera drive up and make out

  83. kubiak
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    After reading the comics you posted today I have a new appreciation for the art in Apartment 3-G. The other three seem to exist in the same weird, limbo-like reality where there are no walls or backgrounds. Everything sort of floats in negative space. Especially panel two of GT. It looks like someone is either floating or laying on the ground. You know, or whatever passes for ground there.

  84. Carly
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Do you think modern Liz is embarrassed that there are pictures of her wandering around with a toilet on her head in the newspaper, where everyone can see them?

  85. Uncle Lumpy
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    9/14 Mark Trail

    Arrow-ass knows what to eat:
    Gooey red Cro-Magnon meat!
    And when there’s nothing left to chew
    He’ll chow down on Svetlana, too!

  86. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    PBS My own Crate O’ Sadness used to be a bottle of Jack Daniels Black Label. Now that I have sworn off the booze, my Crate O’ Sadness consists of a yoga mat. It’s hard to get blissfully drunk with a mat, but at least a mat doesn’t spill or make you walk invisible lines on the side of the road.

  87. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    FBoFW (a) Michael was a filthy little boy. Lots of little comic boys are filthy; Dennis got his annual bath the other day, but thanks to his single-panel format we didn’t have to see him squirm around to avoid getting clean.
    (b) Elly still gives him baths. I suppose if you have such a filthy boy on hand you have to make sure he gets clean somehow, although turning a garden hose of cold water on him might make him a tad more diligent about doing a thorough job of it himself with warm water and a washcloth.
    (c) He’s there to take a bath in which he refuses to clean himself, yet he gets a toy ship to play with. Again with the rewards for bad behavior! Elly, once again you figuratively step in your own poo.
    (d) *shudder* I do not want to know just how closely Ellie looks at Michael, I really really don’t.

  88. Suicide_Blonde
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Is Jack Chick the artistic consultant on the strip? Because today’s looks distressingly like one of his tracts.

  89. Mariko
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    I thought Mary Jane was supposed to be a good actress. Why is she pointing with her downstage hand? And why does the ‘set’ look suspiciously like a television sound stage? Oh, dear God. No wonder Peter actually made this play– he could have written it!

  90. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Like A Doll’s Eyes Just to be sure, Dolly, let’s shoot you in the butt and see if it hurts or not.
    Fuzzy Wuzzy Doesn’t Understand Your Hostility *grunt snuffle growl* Yep, that sounds like Mark right now.
    Juris Prudence I love the artwork, but Sam’s mention of the 12th century might have been current events when this storyline started for all we know.

  91. teegee
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    Christian Singles I’m going in … nothing to lose, and I can hold my own on the surface aspects of the New Testament, and, damn, she’s piqued my interest. I’ll report back. If I’m not heard from in 48 hours, I’ll assume that … well, hell, no one responds to my stupid comments anyway. But Josh makes money by the click, I assume.

  92. NotThatGuy
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    FC: Honest to goodness, I thought Barfy was dead. And happily so.

  93. Cheese-n-Pear
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    DT: “Hey, boss! Here’s a clue! I hear that people whose portraits are in the museum are disappearing. Did anyone mention that yet? Also there’s a rumor the pictures are kinda icky.” With topnotch detective help like that, it’s no wonder Tracy appears to be filled with even more rage than usual.

  94. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    Hello, Mary! Jack Chick Gone Wild!
    I, Platypus Oh thank God for the last panel, I had the most HORRIBLE take on what was really coming out of those pens, because I didn’t know they were pens.
    Ghost-Who-Is-Still-Painting-Over-Graffiti Next: WAIT!
    Obese Stereotypes I Recognize Actually, today’s is a nice little Valentine for service men and women. Only it’s kind of insulting since Brookins USUALLY MAKES FUN OF THESE PLUGGER TYPES.
    That’s A Gun In My Pocket Wait, what is Rex doing in panel three? Template Boy, you’re fired!!
    Cassandra Filler Panels The dog is plating the second course. The cat is waiting to lick the spoon. The woman is Elly Patterson. The man is my seventh grade phys ed teacher. Those are my meds in the cabinet. There’s a sunlamp over the table.
    The second panel reveals none of these things.

  95. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    #91 teegee – I’m expecting a full report from you! Now go forth, be fruitful and — er, well nevermind the rest. Just watch that you don’t get smited.

  96. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    #95 oh, and teegee! – Remember, the first line of defense: “Why, what’d you hear?”

  97. Trotzenbonnie
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    FUNKY WINKERBEAN – Okay. I have a question for all of the fathers of teenage girls in the audience and I know there are plenty of you out there so I expect an answer. Are any of you that freaked out by the prospect of your daughter making the varsity basketball team?
    I understand that nightmarish daydreams of your little girl growing up too fast could be provoked by her mother telling you “Oh, darling. Come here so Little Susie can show you her new training thong.” or “Hey, hon. Can you run to Walgreens? Little Susie is plum out of BufferGel.”
    But making the varsity basketball team? Doesn’t that just make you proud?
    Help me out here, dammit!

    Is it possible that Les saw ‘Personal Best’ one too many times…?

  98. Frank Parsnip
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: Lu Ann is pretty hopeless if she’s still worried about Alan — despite everything that he’s already seen about Margo’s scheming, he’s made his mind up to hate Lu Ann for every bit of it. She should move on to one of the other generic blond men that populates A3Gland.

    MT: Reminds me of that Gary Larson cartoon in which the bear is using human skulls as hand puppets for a show for his cubs:

    “OK, I’ll do it one more time and then off to bed… ‘Come out, Trail, we can hear you!’ ”

    Jugs Parker: OK, let me get this straight — the Taliban evildoers decided to “assassinate” Steve by putting a frickin’ landmine outside his tent? If they were right outside his tent, why not shoot into it — I mean, it’s a frickin’ tent, fer crissake. And it’s not like our troops in Afghanistan just have tents sitting outside with everybody asleep on the inside hoping that the enemy wouldn’t be so uncouth as to attack a sleeping soldier in his warm tent. We normally do have people who are awake and do guard the places where we sleep, usually well enough to watch for guys coming right up to tents and spending a long time burying frickin’ landmines.

    And the Taliban still have him “marked for death”? Right… if this story arc is going to involve Taliban death squads going to the U.S. to punish a legless JAG officer whose only crime was figuring out that they killed someone they actually killed, then I will be sorely disappointed. However, if this involves a lonely Steve making up war-hero stories to get it on with Gloria, at least I could see the human-nature angle on it.

    My guess is that this whole vet thing is going to go in a funny direction and Steve is going to turn out to have exaggerated the source of his injury. A flashback will show Steve doing the “Master Cylinder” dance on his last night in Afghanistan, naked but for a strategically placed tallboy can and juggling a bunch of grenades. Because of the implications to the rest of the JAG investigatory team with him, they all agree to write it up as a “landmine” injury.

    Steve will admit to “living a lie” and will earn Sam’s respect. And we will all realize that Steve, in his own way, is one of the tragedies of war.

    GT: The A-Train has its engine about 6 inches ahead of the rest of his body. What’s throwing off his shooting is the way he’s being drawn this week with his neck protruding his head way out there.

    MW: Dr. Drew normally finds great solace giving speeches from his balcony overlooking Munich.

  99. Mibbitmaker
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:19 am [Reply]


    S-M: First there’s Roger Clemens and his personal trainer with just one person between them, now it’s Peter Parker and Simon Krandis with two people. Everyone’s playing with fire lately!

    Lockhorns: I don’t know if it’s just my paper, but this one appears without the dialogue it clearly intended to have. The effect is weird. It shows Loretta holding up a sweater Leroy apparently got her for Valentine’s Day, unimpressed, while Leroy just stands there going “Duuuhhhh…!” non-verbally. Sadly, it kinda works.

    FW: …And then, standing firmly on the ground, Summer looks up at tree-bound daddy, and grinningly brays, “SUCKERRRRRR!!”

    A3G: Margo made the limo come late for Tommie and LuAnn on purpose for the art show… and LuAnn’s surprised? Lu, have you even met the woman???

    GT: In spite of everything, in the last panel you can’t say A-Train hasn’t stuck his neck out for the coach! (ducks)

    (unducks) Curtis: Hey, Chutney, you were the one who went as far as scheming with Miss God’s Gift To Modeling to get Curtis all to your as-stalkery-as-he-is self! You had to know what you were getting. This is what is known as karma, Chutney.

    Ditto in today’s H&L + Nancy in today’s Nancy = Future Lockhorns. With mutual gender attitudes like these, those two strips are doing all of Lynn Johnston’s work for her.

    FOOB: Gee, Mikey’s improved SO much since those days, hasn’t he? [Ouch, I think I sprained my sarcasm muscle on that one!]

    FC: “…And by that, I mean I’m going to hurt you, Jeffy!”

  100. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    #97 Trotzenbonnie – yeah, I don’t get that. I’d be very pleased if my daughter made the varsity ball squad; any such achievement should be applauded by a parent. But then I am not threatened by someone else’s physical superiority the way Les is.

    Because I am…. Fable! pfft! A legend in my own mind.

    Maybe Les is just afraid his daughter will bully him the way Bull Bushka i.e. All Jocks did. Or maybe Batiuk’s just making him that big of a loser. Either way is pretty lame.

  101. Mibbitmaker
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    More Thursday comics:

    9CL: That horoscope was really written by Mitt Romney.

    JP: Lady, you really are too well-drawn to be sporting a Mark Trail speech balloon. Honestly!


    RMMD: “No, no, no, idiot! When I said to get a “chopper” to help find them, I was refering to a helicopter! And what’s worse, what in hell can Mikey Teutel possibly do to help us with lost hikers and two fugitives, anyway?!?”

    MW: Drew, the possibly nuclear glow of the city is telling you, “Juuuuump! Juuuuuuuuuuummmp!!”

  102. Trotzenbonnie
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    #100 – Truest of Fables
    Thank you for confirming that my confusion doesn’t mean I’m nuts. It just means that Batiuik is an asshat.
    May I trouble you with just one more question?

    It’s time for bed and dreams of beagles….
    Ba-roooooooooo, y’all!

  103. TB Tabby
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    Blondie: “Nearly?”


    DT: That’s right, they’re JUST NOW starting to consider questioning the artist who painted the portraits. This is a comic for people who can’t handle the breakneck pace of continental drift.

    H&J: Ah, nothing says “romance” like life-threatening smoke inhalation.

    Luann: And thus, Bernice reveals the REAL reason she didn’t want Luann to date her brother.

    MT: Molly has let herself go since we saw her last. Now she FULLY understands your hostility towards her.

    Pluggers: If you want people to idolize firefighters, the first step is to never let them read Herb & Jamaal.

  104. mollificent
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    #99 Mibbitmaker: Oh good, so it’s not just me re: Lockhorns missing dialogue. Whew.

    In a rare moment of clarity, Dick Tracy muses aloud: “We need a clue.”
    (Has anyone actually tabulated how many &%^*$ times they have informed us that the Chief had her portrait painted (just like the others who are missing, in case you’ve been on frickin’ Mars for the last month)? What the bleep?

    FC: Ummm…I’m speechless once again. Yes, Dolly, somebody’s going to get hurt. Or pregnant.

    FW: I had to go back a few days and remind myself why the hell Summer is climbing the tree. After going back, I still have no clue why…all I know is it’s at some indeterminate time in the past. And we’ve completely abandoned the “Pizza World” storyline after only a few days. Short attention span, anyone? (Ooooh, twinkly lights! What was I talking about?)

    GA: Bad…dialogue…suffocating…me…can’t…breathe…make…it…stop!

    MT: Oh man, that bear looks PISSED. *rubs hands together in glee*

    MW: Yes, Drew, the laughs WERE all on you. We laughed our asses off. *evilgrin*
    On the plus side, Drew looks to be a marginally better kisser than Ryan. Then again, a flounder is probably a better kisser than Ryan. Sorry Drew, you’re still pathetic.

  105. mollificent
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    P.S. Dammit, someday I WILL remember to close my parentheses! Arrrrgggghhhh!!!

  106. Trilobite
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    Sneaking a peek at Thursday’s comics:

    Dick Tracy: What scares me is that I very nearly made the same face that Dick Tracy is making (crazy eyes, furious grimace, eyebrows twisted in frustrated rage) when I realized that in today’s strip, we learn yet again that the Chief has been kidnapped! And there was a portrait painted of her! Just like all the other people who were kidnapped! And I’m sure that tomorrow someone will mention that there are hideous portraits of people hanging in the art gallery, and that those people are going missing. After all, we’ve only been going over the same information for about two weeks so far, so by the rules of Dick Tracy we need at least two more weeks of repetition before we can move on to something else.

    Mark Trail: Apparently Mark Trail sounds exactly like an angry, sleep-deprived bear. I’m not sure what I’m going to do now that I know this, but it’s the kind of thing I don’t think I will ever forget.

    Mary Worth: I swear, Drew is such a drama queen. Someone needs to shake him and tell him that losing Vera is hardly the worst thing that ever happened to him. The chemotherapy he’s going to need after spending so much time gazing down at that tiny radioactive model town, on the other hand…

  107. True Fable
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    #102 Trotzenbonnie – Time for sleepy-bye, baby doll. May your dreams be of Old English Sheepdogs winning Westminster.

  108. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    #97 Trotzenbonnie–
    I have a 10 year old granddaughter who wants to play organized basketball. I would love it if she eventually made her high school team. My concern is the way she’s being taught the game. The coaches in her league are teaching the girls to play “streetball”, where learning to throw an elbow or to grab a jersey on the sly are more important than learning to dribble or to make a layup. Even at age 10, the games she’s in are extremely rough, and I’m worried that she’ll lose some teeth or suffer some orthopedic damage. This is not taking place in some inner-city rec center, but in a high-income suburb. If this is typical of how kids are being taught basketball these days, Les’ concerns may be well-founded.

    Aw hell, I just showed sympathy for Les. My main motivation for seeking, finding, and participating in Comics Curmudgeon is my hatred for FW, the most perverse and perverted comic strip in history. Now here I am supporting creepy Les. Oh, the shame! Now I’ll have to stay up all night washing my brain out with a bunch of new snarks.

  109. Joe Btfsplk
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:32 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – The whole squirrel collage thing a while back was amusing, but when the imagery starts recycling at the rate that it’s been doing over the last few days, it becomes kind of sad.

  110. Chesteralph, Jungle Patroldog
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    I would like to see a Funky Winkerbean/Crankshaft storyline where they realize they’re in a comic and meet Batiuk, the architect of their torment, sort of a tribute to the classis issue of Animal Man where he meets Grant Morrison

    “we made things darker and more violent to make it more realistic. God help us if *that’s* what that means.”

  111. teegee
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:29 am [Reply]

    95 True Fable: Dang it. I’m logged in, and there are pictures to remind me that these are real people. Bastards! Bastards, I say!

    Bastards. Did I say that already?. Now if the heavily endowed spokesmodel engages, which seems unlikely (ironically, by god! Or, you know, not ironically at all!), all will be reported.

  112. Clumpy
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    You haven’t taught him to stay, Jeffy, this time you’ve killed him! You’ll never be gentle, Jeffy! You’re not like the rest of us!

  113. Frank Parsnip
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:57 am [Reply]

    Trotzenbonnie (97): It’s not the women’s basketball team you have to watch out for, it’s the women’s softball team. Although some people wildly claim that women’s softball is as rife with same-sex indoctrination as the average English boy’s boarding school, I think it’s clear that we really need go no further than Brynna Antenna to see what sport to steer youngsters away from. At least on the basketball court, we don’t see a bunch of skinheads carrying bats.

  114. Arnaud ("I accidently typed 'Biff Dickens'") du Tihl
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:58 am [Reply]

    #97 Trotzenbonnie says:

    Are any of you that freaked out by the prospect of your daughter making the varsity basketball team?

    Quite the reverse: the freak-outs come from picturing the varsity basketball team making one’s daughter

    Thank you and goodnight

  115. Tats
    February 14th, 2008 at 5:31 am [Reply]

    In a coup of cost-cutting, the writers of the posted 3-G seem to have hired both the wardrobe director and the set designer from Mary Worth. It’s all about unions, I guess.

  116. Erez
    February 14th, 2008 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    “I’m going to train Lizzie, but she’s not ready. I see in her much anger. She’s like her father. The force is strong with her.”

  117. And The
    February 14th, 2008 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    DT: I like how each panel in sequence builds in the reader feeling of disgust until it reaches a crescendo in the final one. Gosh, Tracy and the gang need a clue (mild cursing and snickering)? They need to *find* Liz (sneering disdain and expressions of contempt)? And her (expletive deleted) portrait was hanging in that (list of extreme profanities) museum?

    A-3G: Margo, my admiration for you increases. Maybe you can actually sell some of those insipid paintings of Luann’s before she shows up and destroys the careful illusion of a mysterious, tormented artist you’ve created.

    JP: Gosh, a new law partner marked for death by the Taliban!? (*dun* *dun* *dun*) Less wistful gazing and more kidnapping….

    MT: Yeah, Trail! Those previous gun shots were merely intended to communicate our urgency to speak with you!

    MW: Man, if he gets this worked up over Vera, I hope Drama Boy never loses a patient.

    Phantom: If this is any indication of quality of Officer Hawa’s memory, I can see why the police force had her handing out traffic tickets. Hawa, the man was practically an albino in a blinding white suit!

    Popeye: Wow, she’s a mechanical genius, a nautical terror *and* a gifted poet? What a triple threat.

    Spider-Man So the whole thing was indeed yet another of Spider-Man’s dismal failures? I can’t get too mad at Peter (my expectations were already so low). Too busy being repulsed by Krandis in the final panel.

  118. gleeb
    February 14th, 2008 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh yeah, create the impression that Lu Ann has so much goin’ on that she can’t make it to her own opening on time. Except, do you really think Lu Ann can keep up her end of that ploy? Especially if you don’t tell her about it?

    ‘shaft: No, his name is “Uninformed Electorate”. If this guy’s already got the job, you should at least know his name, Ed. It’s not like you have so much going on that you can’t follow the news. Heck, if you had a gallery opening, you’d show up 20 minutes early!

  119. Kurdt
    February 14th, 2008 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    Is R. Kelly writing the Family Circus now?

  120. Dingo
    February 14th, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    I haven’t been following Judge Parker lately so I really don’t know what’s going on but, in today’s strip, we’re introduced in panel three to a talking vagina. Not only a talking vagina but a thinking vagina. Puts a whole new spin on “thinking outside the box.”

  121. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    #2 – Not now, sweetie-I have a headache!

  122. Inspector Dim
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    THE DAILY THORAX HORISCOPE: You will skip right over 9 Chickweed Ln. and proceed to Beetle Bailey until they stop running these stupid Thorax-themed strips. And maybe not even then.

  123. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    #120 – Dingo-not much to follow these days, now that Abbey’s breasts and magic treats have taken a backseat to an endless sea of droning juris doctors and shades of brown.

  124. Inspector Dim
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    What the hell is Popeye doing that the Sea Hag needs to keep such close tabs on him? She’s in for hours of Popeye’s family bitching at him about money, and Wimpy begging for more hamburgers to shove down his gullet.

  125. Quix
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    DT: Yes, Dick, you need a clue. More importantly, you need a plot!

  126. Gregoire
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MW – Jump..jump..jump..jump…

    JP – yo…cooter be rappin’, y’all! Roll up anotha brownie, shawtee

  127. Quix
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: Does anyone else hear Little River Band’s song Lonesome Loser playing in the background?

  128. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    BB: Notice that in Panel 2, Beetle’s left arm has already straightened and repaired itself. Clearly, Beetle has the mutant healing factor of Wolverine. Except that instead of adamantium bones, his bones are made of rubber. Or maybe Chee-Tos.

    DtM: Mr. Wilson does his Dickensian villain impression. How I’d love to see him sell Dennis off as indentured labor in some Devonshire spinning mill. We’ll see how much of a “menace” he is after losing a few fingers.

    (WT)DT: GASP!!! You mean to say… the Chief had her portrait in the art exhibit like the other people who are missing, and now SHE’S missing TOO?! …No, no, you know what? Never mind. I can’t parody this any more because it’s impossible to exaggerate the stupidity, the repetitiveness or the pace that’s so slow it actually goes backwards sometimes. I expect The Baron to show up any minute looking for his Gretchen.


    GT: From his inappropriate verb tenses in panel 3, it’s clear Andrew Gregory’s living in the past… a past in which his failed last-minute shot hasn’t been thrown yet, and there’s still some question as to whether it will go in. Nobody knew it at the time, but this was when his sad condition began. Years later, Andrew would spend his days with his knees hugged up to his chest, rocking gently back and forth in the corner, chanting to himself “Go in, go in, go in…”

    JP: “It really made me think! I think I don’t want to get involved with someone who might get killed by the Taliban! President Bush says they’re everywhere plotting to kill all of us at any time, you know!”

  129. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Dear Prickly City,
    What the hell is the matter with you? PLEASE STOP.

  130. John C Fremont
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    # 127 – No, all I hear is LRB’s follow-up attempt, “Lonesome Moron.” Interesting artwork, though. Looks like he’s wanting to turn into the Green Goblin.

    SFx – No, those two aren’t Pattersons. Looking at them eat only makes me mildly nauseated.

    JP – “Marked for Death?” Funny, he doesn’t look like Steven Seagal. Let’s hope he’s a better actor, though. But I kid the pony-tailed mumbler.

    MT – “Traa-ail! Come out and play-yay!”

    RMMD – That sheriff guy. Isn’t that Jay Sherman’s boss?

  131. John C Fremont
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    And that guy with Sheriff Duke Phillips in the third panel – Isn’t that Rex Morgan? Well, the pouty-lipped Rex Morgan from the other day, as opposed to the numerous other versions of this shape-shifting “physician” we’ve enjoyed throughout this “trout fishing” adventure.

  132. Gabacho
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker – Finally, a comic strip version of the Vagina Monologues.

  133. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    2/14 VD Edition

    Lockhorns: What is this, the Hateeachothers Caption Contest? OK, I’ll try this one. “That sweater certainly is green, isn’t it?” Hey, it would have a chance at the New Yorker.

    OBH: Ellen seems to have been getting some forward text messages from teenage boys. She’s a dues-paying member of the MILF club.

    MW: Dr Drew Cory, Broken-Hearted Bee Grinder.

    SSmith: “Hee hee! We done stole another joke from Li’l Abner!”

    Luann: Sorry, Bernice. Luann seems not to swing that way. Hey, there’s still Delta, isn’t there?

    DT: Wait. Liz has been kidnapped? And she had her portrait painted? And the same artist did portraits of all the other people who have disappeared? The hell you say! I don’t see how I can ever keep up.

    BeBa: More proof that foreplay comes in all shapes, sizes, and levels of brutality.

    DtM: Raises two questions. 1) To whom is Mr. Wilson’s confession addressed, and 2) How long has he had mildew growing on him?

    WofI: Johnny Hart remembered with bad pun. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

    FC: The Keanes promote rubber tips for your arrow. Does Pope Benedict know about this?

    PBS: Aw, I was hoping they’d show the dogs again so I’d have an excuse to belt out Erasure’s “Chains of Love.”

    MT: Oh man, Torgo is about to bait the bear thinking it’s a 180-pound nature writer. This is why I keep reading.

    FW: Dear Mr. Batiuk. In the future, please refrain from having Les blurt out “Daddy’s coming!” Otherwise, there will be dire consequences.

    Blondie: Shouldn’t the Yankee pot roast be in the oven, rather than on the stovetop? Not that that’s the wrongest aspect of this scene.

    GA: So, Jimmy ran out of ammo so he decided to make a customer complaint instead? The most wanted list ain’t what it used to be.

    S4th: Hilary knows that you’ve been teased and bullied, Ted. She’s seen what happens when Grandma comes over.

  134. Krazy Kat
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Wow !! A-Train is a bad-azz! Do you think Gil will just go postal on him right there in front of everyone or bide his time and work out some sort of humiliation with Kaz?

    Also-ever notice that fires never seem to break out while there’s a basketball game in progress? Hmmmm?

  135. Sully
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    The two thugs should have peed on Spider-Wimp while he lay there helpless. That would have pretty much summed up that pathetic strip.

  136. Gagott68
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    PBS: Happy Valentine’s Day.

    89 Mariko: Don’t be silly. Peter Parker could not have written something this silly. Only St. Michael de Patterfoob could. If Spider-Man was involved in the stage, you know that a big overhead sandbag would fall and knock him unconcious.

    S-M: What is Krandis putting his elbows on? Has he pulled his knees up onto his chair? At his age, I doubt it. Or maybe random Fists o’ Justice have attacked. Finally, you think there’s a reason why MJ is wearing pants on-stage with the leering Krandis peeping up at her?

    S4th: With hand gestures like that, I’m sure Ted got bullied for many, many other reasons.

    MT: “We don’t want to kill you!”?!?!? You just whammed out a couple of shots into the cave after him. You just tried to decapitate him with your plane. You just tried to snipe him while he was paddling his little canoe. I don’t think even someone as dense as Mark would fall for that (Well, maybe). That, and the fact that everyone wants to kill Mark Trail.

    GT: Odd emphasis on “If THE shot goes in…” But the stilted dialogue goes along with the A-Train’s stilted, craned neck.

  137. Shermy Glamrocker
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    The Family Circus P-Dog gag reminds me of a crude comic I drew in junior high that showed St. Nick urinating down a chimney while shouting “Merry Piss-mas.”

    I was a sick child.

    Don’t make me describe the “Santa’s Coming” comic.

  138. Gagott68
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    BeBa: I’m really glad Beetle interrupted Sarge before we had to find out what Sarge wanted to bend.

  139. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    #126 – Brownie Blunts for Abbey! Ohhhh Yeaaaahhhh!

  140. Ginger Yellow
    February 14th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Clearly Spock has been neglecting his gravity-stabiliser maintenance duties while moonlinghting as a sports commentator.

  141. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    #127 – I hadn’t thought of that song for years.

    Let’s all put together a medley of rockin’ tunes for Dr. Heartbreak! He seems like a LRB, or maybe Duncan Sheik or Daniel Powter kind of guy music-wise.

    Or, I could put on Beck’s “Loser.” But I do feel for the poor fellow. Live and Learn, I guess.

  142. teenchy
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    GT: Did I miss something, or in the mad rush to homoeroticize/scatologicize this strip did everyone miss the fact that A-Train is easy to muscle because he lacks muscles himself?

    Seriously, how hard is it for the artists to buy an artist’s mannequin, or at the very least trace over wire photos of athletes in action (a/o/t Athletes in Action, the traveling evangelical Christian basketball team)? Hell, they could even trace over pictures of them, too!

  143. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    #133 – FW – I warned you all yesterday that this is Les’s new way of stimulating himself! Blaarrgg!

  144. Moss_Moses
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    I like the way the caveman has the primitive logic to match his looks. “We have been shooting at you with a sniper rifle from an airplane and are now blasting away indiscriminately at the cave you are in but we don’t want to kill you, Trail! We just plan to hold you hostage forever, so you won’t talk. We won’t hurt you. So, come out, now”!

  145. smacky
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Let’s take up a collection and send Drew a buxom Christian single. Could that be any more frustrating than the slo-mo train wreck he just went through with Vera? And Josh probably gets a cut!

  146. Niall
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Heart-pumping action Thursday!

    A3G: LuAnn gets introduced to the concept of “fashionably late”. We should forgive her ignorance of all things relating to fashion.

    Archie: The AJGLU3000 needs to have its grammar precision setting lowered a few notches. Just about every person in English-speaking countries would say “tests” instead of “graded test papers”. It is also ignorant of newspaper nomenclature, thinking the name of the town is all it needs.

    BC: Ahh, and here’s our first dose of cynicism on the day’s excesses, from an unlikely source. Unlikely to have been funny, that is.

    BB: Meanwhile, we get a lot of tough love in today’s strip. “It’s too late for apologies” is a line not seen anywhere outside of standard lovers’ spats.

    Blondie: I don’t know, her immensely oversized ribcage kinda upstages everything else for attention. Her spine should be cracking in half from the weight.

    DtM: Anyone else get the strongest feeling of Mafia ties for Mr. Wilson here?

    DT: …no. No. No way in hell are you going to tell me that the painter is the one responsible for this. “I’ll do hideous portraits of all these people, then kidnap them! No one will be able to suspect me!” This may be even more brain-damaged than the BARON, for chrissakes.

    Dilbert: Not funny, but I wanted to pay attention to the correct use of a diacritical in “Voilà”. It’s still rare, rarer even than the word not being a type of stringed instrument by mistake.

    FC: Cynical, doom-filled romantic advice #2, also from an unlikely source. (At this rate, H&L will be sweet.)

    Garfield: …Um, I’ll be honest here. I found that sweet, not disgusting or cloying. Why is that? Am I starting to care about Liz and Jon?? (Or likely, with my own inability to find someone, I can’t throw stones through my glass house at this nerd for finding someone.)

    GF: Satchel suddenly thinking quickly aside, I just noticed that Conley signs the strip with his first name instead of his last. Can’t be too many who do that.

    H&L: I was wrong. Not sweet. Not cynical either. Just disgusting.

    MT: So Mark Trail has a gravelly, growly voice coming from lungs the size of his whole upper body, making no syllables?

    MW: “…even from this beautiful vantage point above shining El Dorado…”

    MC: Four frames of Ahsley. Yup, my valentine’s day is a good one now. :)

    PBS: I nearly spit my orange juice at panel 4. Now there’s the proper dose of cynicism!

    Jungle Patrol (JP): Not only does he fix his mistakes, he mentally ‘fixes’ everyone’s memory of him so that he no longer looks like an albino!

    Pluggers: For once, I’ll give them a pass. I wholly agree. The timing‘s a little weird, but perhaps it’s for the best.

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    134 Krazy Kat,
    No need to bite Andrew’s head off. It looks like it’s about to fall off on its own.

  148. commodorejohn
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    A3G – Good God, Tommie, what is that on your neck?

    BB – Lord, this gets more surreal every time they try to make a joke about it.

    Blondie – Lady, as long as you’ve got panel three there, you don’t need to worry. Holy mammaries, Batman!


    FC – Oh. My. God. Here I was thinking that the comments were exaggerated, but…no, there’s just no other way to read that. And as if this wasn’t bad enough on its own, Cupid looks exactly like P.J.

    FOOB – drown him drown him drown him

    FW – Man, Summer was already my favorite character out of the new improved Funky Winkerbean, but she just keeps getting more likeable. C’mon, kid, give him a heart attack!

    Garfield – Garfield is a voyeur.

    GT – Are we sure that Andrew Gregory is not, in fact, a giraffe?

    H&L – Hi & Lois made me laugh today.

    JP – Not that I think very highly of the Taliban, but would they really involve themselves in a local dispute to the extent that they’re willing to track down one guy to the US and kill him? Also, plenty of potential for image manipulation in panel three.

    Lockhorns – …okay, there’s no caption. Leroy is just staring blankly, mouth agape, as Loretta regards with malcontent a sweater that was probably supposed to be a Charlie Brown shirt until the coloring monkeys got to it. Somehow, I like this even better than the normal Lockhorns strips.

    Pederasty Incest Bitches – …tell me again how we’re supposed to relate to these characters? I mean, have they ever been anything but self-centered and unlikeable?

    MT – “We don’t want to kill you! These firearms are merely for show! Honest!

    Marvin – Some days I accidentally click on Marvin. Those are the days I question the existence of a loving God.

    MW – Chiming in on the “holy cow, it’s Jack Chick!” comments. Also, seeing as how we were talking about mashing up Pink Floyd and Mary Worth, you could pretty much just use “Two Suns In The Sunset” unaltered here, if panel two is anything to go by.

    MC – “Nice recap! Almost all in one breath!

    Spider-Man – Yeah, you may have utterly failed at being a superhero today, Spidey, but at least you didn’t protect your wife from her stalker, either.

    WoI – That’s…that’s actually kind of touching.

  149. Darkefang
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    DT: Assuming that he’s schizophrenic, “we need a clue” is the most true thing that Dick Locher has ever written.

    MW: “And the laughs were all on me!”

    It might be one of the signs of the apocalypse when the characters of Mary Worth become self-aware.

  150. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Just needed to say too that Josh’s FOOB comments up top o’ this thread are hilarious.

    Speaking of potty habits and surprises, I wonder if they serve this at the Bum Boat:

  151. Professor Fate
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]


    FOOB: – Just down the little bastard and have done with it.

    FW: Fall to your death! Please!

    Sorry Valentines day makes me cranky

  152. Flipper
    February 14th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    #99 Mibbitmaker: Lockhorns caption = “There…I bought you a space heater.”

    #104 mollificent: The FW Pizza World storyline returns Monday.

  153. Poewar
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    After a while Dennis kinda grows on you, like mold, or mildew, or melanoma, or scabies, or Jock Itch, or crabs, or ringworm, or Folliculitis…

  154. AhClem
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    #127 Quix -

    “MW: Does anyone else hear Little River Band’s song Lonesome Loser playing in the background?

    I was thinking more along the lines of “Alone Again, Naturally” by Gilbert O’ Sullivan.

    And I most sincerely apologize to those who will now have that damn song playing in their heads for the rest of the day.

    Including me. AAAAGGHH!

  155. Sans Sense
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    120. Dingo –

    I don’t think that is a vagina monologue, I think Gloria has a special Senorita Wences hand puppet that also learned stuff from Steve.

  156. Sans Sense
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    MW: I can’t find peace, even in my happy place scale model of downtown Santa Royale. Curse you Vera! Maybe I should get into trains…

  157. gkl
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    MW: As Mary Newton Worth might say, a plotline at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. This plotline is very much at rest, and with Drew alone in the middle of nowhere, I have a feeling that we’re going to be watching him not jump for the next twenty years.

    MT: It’s probably too much to ask, but I’m hoping that Mark’s absence from these panels reflect the fact that the bear just ate him.

    GT: I guess Andrew Gregory can burn cars, but he can’t burn up the court.

    BBailey: This violence is needless and excessive, and I like it.

  158. Sans Sense
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Lee Dillon, Desperado.

    Man, I like that.

  159. mere cog in the machine
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    15 Daijinruu: Yes, they had a “terrific row”, and now she’s feeling “all in”. No doubt she hopes that he’ll come back to say, “I’m awfully sorry for being such a bounder, old girl. Can you ever forgive me?”
    Let’s face it; this strip would at least be amusing for a week or so if the characters spoke like those in a Dorothy Sayers novel.

  160. Joe
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    FC: Too bad your daddy didn’t use a rubber-tip on his own arrow when he was banging your mom!

    Smirky Pantysniffer: Les, you fucking moron, don’t you understand that when a kid climbs a tree, it’s best to just leave them alone? Idiot.

    Luann: That Bernice is a real cunt.

    A3G: Ya know, I’m sick of seeing these women dress, talk, act, and style thier hair like it was the 1950′s. Three young, attractive, single women in modern-day New York City should not be resemble June Cleaver.

    MW: I’d like to reach in there and pimp-slap that sniveling crybaby. Dude, get over it. Stop acting like a wuss.

    SFx: There are actually 8 differences today…….the man’s feet for one, and the lady’s leg for another.

    FOOB: Now’s the time to drown his ass, SmElly. Get rid of the little cretin!

  161. Sandy
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    GT – First Panel – Andrew Gregory might not miss as many shots if he actually had the damn ball!

  162. gh
    February 14th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]


    Lean, Drew! Lean harder! Push! Railings don’t give way on their own, you know.

  163. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

  164. kingklash
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, One-eyed Wolfdog (#163). I was getting bored with the old emotional scars, and you just gave me a new one. To top it off, now I’ve got the Ohio Players “Fire” looping through my head.

  165. Islamorada Girl
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Drew will jump if Dawn shows up and gives him a little push.

    Hey, it’s MW! It could happen!

  166. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Next, Drew stops bathing, grows a humongous Billy Gibbons beard, and heads off barefoot to live in a Yurt in Northern Cal, searching for that elusive “something.”

    Seriously, I think what may happen next is Drew will save someone nearby with his med skills, and feel rejuvenated career-wise and personally.
    Just a plotline “maybe.” But we won’t know until July ’08, because this is Mary Worth.

  167. Non-Shannon
    February 14th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Good God, ‘mudges! It’s Valentine’s Day and all I can think of now is greasy orange anal leakage, Jamaal buggering Herb, Big Daddy Keane’s rubber-tipped arrow, and Andrew Gregory “launching” “an” “18″ “footer” (wink wink, nudge nudge). I guess that’s better than thinking of the fact that my erstwhile sweetie is literally as far away from me as he can be without leaving the planet Earth right now. Sigh…

    Actually, no. It’s not better.

  168. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    He’s on an uninhabited spot in the middle of the Indian Ocean?

  169. Josh
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Re: Christian single girl: People! While I’m not a Christian myself, I certainly see no reason why a young lady with a gynormous rack shouldn’t be able to accept Jesus as her personal lord and savior. They’re just what the good lord gave her!

    Uh, on closer inspection, maybe they aren’t. But let’s say no more about that.

    Re: Les’s anxiety: I think one of the running gags in the post-time-jump Funky Winkerbean (“running gags” in FW meaning “insoluable soul-crushing dilemmas”) is that Les, having been a huge dork in high school and routinely persecuted by jocks, is having a hard time relating to his daughter who is herself a jock. I have a certain amount of sympathy for this position having been a huge dork myself, but I don’t think it’s particulary cool to make it quite so obvious to one’s child that you’re appalled by their social standing.


  170. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Heh. I stopped in after a break. There’s the FAMILY CIRCUS. It was dropped by the local paper, and I haven’t missed it. They’re still little ‘tards to me.

    And the NYC DAILY NEWS dropped FOR BETTER OR WORTS, and the response was underwhelming. The NYCD has a policy of not doing comic strip re-runs, so the strip was deep sixed.

    I took a look at the FOR BETTER website and saw a little box that read “Click here for the Patterson’s world.” Turns out to be a map of Canada. That’s real lame.

    Cathy has been dropped by the local paper too. No protests. Just as long as they do not replace it with the equally lame ass GIRLS AND SPORTS (which takes two untalented people to produce).

    I note no real progress made anywhere in the comics. Maybe because it’s that time of year. Cold, and annoying.

    LIO’s creator was making noises that someone wanted to produce a movie of Lio. I hope not.

  171. t007
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    In the Seattle PI – The Lockhorn caption is Leroy saying,”There….I bought you a sapce heater.”

  172. gnome de blog
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    “Things sure have changed since we were warned not to slow a sliver of slip”
    - Islamorada Girl, #31

    Yeah. Smell the Error. Be quick with the slip.

  173. Anna Nimity of the Western Division Jungle Patrol
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Today, Ted Forth tells Hilary he was called ugly in school, but he “…grew up to be a knockout.” Oh, Ted. You are SO GAY and I JUST LOVE YOU!!! Ted gets my vote for the Coolest Guy in the Comics.

  174. Sandy
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Also in A3G – Yes LuAnn, what must he think of you, now that you’ve apparently grown a mustache? Hmm…

  175. Anna Nimity of the Western Division Jungle Patrol
    February 14th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    68: dyslexic dog, If Christian Singles Girl is wearing a wedding ring, why is she on Christian SINGLES??? That would mean that Christian Singles Girl is accepting more than just Jesus as her personal savior.

    I think there is great poetic justice in Josh being paid by the Christian Singles folks to advertise to a bunch of curmudgeons who are really just interested in her “gynormous rack”. And her thong. I mean, wedding ring.

  176. Calico
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Dolly Parton actually had to postpone part of her tour due to back problems caused by her Rack.
    She’s the coolest. And I still love the movie “9 to 5.”

  177. mere cog in the machine
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Years ago I dated a Christian girl who, ostensibly at least, was opposed to sex before marriage. What her beliefs actually translated to, however, consisted of her getting on her knees, sobbing and praying for forgiveness each time we “weakened”. It was kind of neat at first, but quickly grew old, especially when I was prevailed upon to participate. I don’t know about you folks, but I like a little shut-eye after 3 or 4 minutes of torrid passion, and that crazy gal was keeping me up!

  178. Sans Sense
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Wizard of Id: Heart-felt homage or just plain creepy?

  179. man behind the curtain
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    LUAnn — REJECTED! Here it is, Valentine’s Day, and Bernice’s first lesbian come-on to LuAnn is rejected out-of-hand. Don’t give up girl. With LuAnn’s boyfriend history, she may be coming around sooner than you think. Needs must be met.

  180. Tonio
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    #47 – The ad is actually a test to see how Christian you really are – if you have impure thoughts when you see her, you receive an instant FastPass to Hell.

  181. Gregoire
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    #180 – Got my fastpass…see ya there!

  182. commodorejohn
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    #175 Anna Nimity of the Western Division Jungle Patrol – Hmm, maybe she meant to sign up for

  183. Solocardate of the Jungle Patrol Irregulars
    February 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    JP: That’s not a talking vagina. It’s just her answering cervix.

    (If Dick Tracy can have the same basic dialogue two weeks running, then I can jolly well recycle what I said months ago when a similar word balloon originated from Cherry Trail’s nether parts)

  184. Anonymous
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    That “Christian” girl in the ad on this page sure has some nice fake titties!

  185. aquagirl3
    February 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    I really, really hate Bernice and I wish she would die. I was SO ANNOYED reading Luann’s mother’s advice about “putting her friendship first” etc. etc. I’m sorry, but a friend is NOT ALLOWED to get annoyed over you dating her brother! That’s just retarded! They’re two totally different types of relationships (or they should be, anyway) so it’s not like you’re competing over him! If I was Luann’s mom I would have told her to tell Bernice to SUCK IT. I hate Bernice.

  186. Baka Gaijin
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    183 Solocardate of the Jungle Patrol Irregulars: “Answering cervix!” I’ll have to ask the OB doctors if they have one. Hee hee.

  187. Ellie M.
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    I must admit I had my doubts about Lynn Johnson digging out her old FBOFW strips and splicing them into the current storyline, but I see now that revisiting the formative years of Mike and Liz gives us a chance to learn just why they turned out SO HORRIBLY WRONG.

  188. Charlene, Arctic Jungle Patrol Waitress
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Why does Marty Moon have two microphones again?

  189. Non-Shannon (of Jungle Patrol Fame)
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    168 Skullturf:
    All right, all right. Not literally.
    Razza frazza…

  190. Joe
    February 14th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    #177 mere cog in the machine:

    I dated a girl sorta like that once. She was 32 years old and still a virgin (no way was I going to take that, she’d expect marraige!) . She said my attitude towards sex was too “cavalier”. I told her that her attitude towrds sex was too “puritanical”.

    That relationship lasted about 6 months.

  191. gnome de blog
    February 14th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    #173 Anna:
    Mine too.

  192. gnome de blog
    February 14th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    173 Anna:
    Unless Cedric the Butler comes back.

  193. schlimmerkerl
    February 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    I rarely comment (or, yea, even notice) FBoFW. However, having followed the Patterson’s oftentimes amusing antics in the early days, i wonder when Elly went from a kinda-cute youngmom to the potato-nosed horror she is today.

  194. june
    February 14th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Has the person who currently writes Apartment 3-G not watched television, read anything published after 1947, spoken to other people, or gone on the internet, EVER? No one has unironically said “What must he think of me?!” or used the word “quarelled” since my grandparents were on their honeymoon. That dialogue is so stilted and awful I think it gave me cancer.

  195. Harold
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    I know it rarely (if ever) gets a mention here, but Poncho’s line in the last panel of today’s Pooch Cafe really made me laugh.

    Is Garfield dead? He looks dead. First Barfy, now Garfield?

    It was nice to see the old-school Garfield clawing his way into yesterday’s Lio. What the hell is the deal with Garfield’s giant, human feet?

    So, has this week’s Get Fuzzy caused anyone else to read up on the Vasa?

    Dingo, dear boy! Good to see you again! Are you anywhere near the Northeastern quadrant of Pennsylvania?

  196. Jnoble
    February 14th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Luanne: Bernice, you are what is called a “cock blocker”. Or a “Mother Hen”. Just because no guys are interested in a slightly nerdy, bespecticled, cynical mousy-looking drip who always loses out to her better looking friend doesn’t mean you have to piss on her parade. You need to do some secret on-line shopping for some special toys that will relieve you of all that pent up frustration.

  197. LouieLouie
    February 16th, 2008 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Dagwood go to Local U?

  198. John
    February 18th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    The frantic tension in Gil Thorp’s overly-slanted italics has made them nearly unreadable, they’re about to tilt over and collapse. The announcer in panel 3 seems to have the same problem.

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