The Comics Curmudgeon

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A gewgaw that says you’ve given up

For Better Or For Worse, 3/20/08

Indeed, Liz! Once you have that ring, you’ll have physical evidence that your sweet charms are no longer up for grabs! For instance, without a ring, if your ex-boyfriend show up at your apartment in the middle of the night, you’ll have no choice but to mewl helplessly as he claims to be still dating you and answers your phone. But if you had a sparkling diamond set into gold — one that was purchased for you by another man, one who’s staked a claim on you — why, then you’d have some leverage. For instance, you could really do some damage to your ex’s eye with it if you punch him in the face with your left hand.

Elizabeth has apparently learned her lesson after the unfortunate shouting incident: all loud and joyful expressions of exuberance are to be restricted to thought-balloon form, and all emotional conversations are to be conducted in the same tones in which one would discuss a car loan. Welcome to your new world of feelings left forever unexpressed, Mrs. Caine!

Apartment 3-G, 3/20/08

It’s not like Anthony did anything super-romantic, like briefly considering giving up his smack habit for her. Since Alan is a failure at everything he does, I’m really, really looking forward to his disastrous foray into the world of dealing drugs. If we’re lucky, he’ll have no choice but to turn to Margo for the qualities you really need to succeed in the drug trade: business acumen and propensity for violence.

Luann, 3/20/08

I don’t know what’s sadder: that Brad’s father is horrified by the thought that his twentysomething kid might finally have sex, or that Brad is puppyishly eager to replicate his parents’ hot, hot sex life.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 10:06 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, Luann.

317 responses to “A gewgaw that says you’ve given up”

Albatross
March 20th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

We are all doomed, now, to follow the next five years of FBOFW leading up to the wedding. Let’s see, shopping for a ring will take three months. Telling her family will take three months. Burying Grandpa Chinnuts will span Christmas…

By the time the panel showing Lizardbreath kissing Granthony at the altar is printed, we’ll all be rocketing around in flying boots and hobnobbing with androids…
juan mortyme
March 20th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Liz & Anthony – at last. (sigh)
kippetje2000
March 20th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Now If Brad’s Dad had cologne that smelled like somoa’s or thin mints, then Brad is going to be the hit of the ball.
The Party Sim
March 20th, 2008 at 10:13 am [Reply]

But don’t expect Brad to wear a tux to the Firefighter’s Ball. Just a really ugly tie and some stink in a bottle.
Loopina
March 20th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Oh, dammit – a post late and a dollar short.

#204, Dr.Mabuse: Being that this is FOOB, wouldn’t the proper term be “cheap grease”?

I’m not a victim of presby or any other sort of -opia, but I misread Irving as commenting on Cathy’s fat-girl cereal. Would that it were so…

Curtis: Look at the barber with the funny head getting all political! Personally, my fave at this point is the “old white dude”.
http://www.issues2000.org/Senate/John_McCain_Tax_Reform.htm

Even if his tax plan resembles Cathy: flatter, lower, and simpler.
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

I wonder what kind of cake the FOOBfest will feature – Tuna casserole, Kraft Dinner, Cheeseburger? Or maybe girl-cereal?

Whatever it ends up being, a security guard will have to be hired to keep Elly and John from devouring the entire thing before the *urp* nuptials.
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

If Alan Lang had any class, he’d hand over that fairy dust to that guy in the diner who gives him all the free eggs and bacon every his hopped up little head can choke down.
Mr. Fogarty
March 20th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Brad will get the killer cologne.

The problem is that he will put it on before he heads out and TJ will be naked and worshiping his “little god”.

Toni will walk in, see the scene and leave Tony’s phone number.
4EvahFan -- Guest Book Monitor
March 20th, 2008 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Luann: …or that Brad has no idea what cologne is.
Matthew Rossi
March 20th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Run NOW, Anthony. The woman and her family are all insane.
queek
March 20th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

RMMD: sez Dr Reed: “I think its pink-eye”

Mutts: Thursdays recital indeed! (see Mondays strip) awwwwwww.

PBS: goes Dilbert, but funnier!
Don, the Rebel without a Blog
March 20th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

I can hardly wait to see Alan arrested for selling drugs. With any luck, we’ll see an Apartment 3-G/Judge Parker crossover with Sam Driver defending Alan.
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

9CL – Heh.

A.D. – Hey, this is actually funny.

BB – You’re in the Army, genius. You probably shouldn’t be getting all high-and-mighty about war.

Crankshaft – Oh, the constant humiliation of the elderly just never gets old, does it?

Curtis – So…Gunther’s voting for Ron Paul, then?

FOOB – God, whoever said they’d rather endure a thousand Worthisms than one Foob proverb was oh so right. Alright. If the Word was with God and the Word was God, and God is omniscient, He’s seen what Lynn has done with words. Is a little brimstone too much to ask?

FW – Oh Lord, he’s doing the absurd illustrative gestures. Is Funky Winkerbean turning into Mary Worth? We can only hope.

GA – Mr. Scancarelli, Yale called. Something about suing your ass off for misrepresentation.

MT – So Steven Seagal and Shirley Not-the-duck are travelling the country in the Mystery Machine, kidnapping dogs by having their dog flirt with them? Sure, makes as much sense as any other Mark Trail plot. More, actually.

NS – Well, if the story of vulcanized rubber is anything to go by, that’s not a bad plan.

RMMD – Meth Momma has died, and Rex and June will adopt Niki for more ~~hijinks~~ homosexual innuendo and “garage cleaning.”

SM – Oh no! Spidey’s head is about to be impregnated by giant black sperm!
daphny
March 20th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

why is this in the newspaper my mind is continually blown by your blog EVERY DAY
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

I’m not in a hurry for Elizabeth and Anthony to get married, either. But I can’t wait for them to finish talking about it. I think we’re all about to feel “taken.”

“Would it be the appropriate time to begin an effort to peruse retail outlets, catalogs and possibly the World Wide Web in search of an appropriate piece of jewelry traditionally worn to symbolize betrothal of one to another, or would you prefer to wait until after you have fully evaluated my financial status, divorce settlement, medical records and the adequacy of my performance of the husbandly duties?”
Maughta
March 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

Ewwwwww. Bradsex. Ewwwww ewww ewwwww! Make it stop hurting!
UncleJeff
March 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

FBoFW: It’s “Love Is” with more words and more clothing!
(oh for the skills to put the heads of Granthony and Liz on the heads of the little naked boy & girl)
Abbey the Wonderdog
March 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

RMMD – Meth Momma has died, and Rex and June will adopt Niki for more hijinks homosexual innuendo and “garage cleaning.

Once you go trout fishing with Rex, you never want to clean another garage.

BARK! BARK! BARK!
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

FOOB – second thought – “A ring! The oval that says ‘I’m owned!’”
mattt
March 20th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Okay, I posted just in time to kill the last thread, so I’m posting this again:

S-M So his Spider Sense works for crap when he’s about to be hit on the head with a brick, or a stick, or a pole, or a club, or a… But by golly it’ll tell him when someone’s home. Spider-Man sucks.

Site ads Am I the only one getting fed the TogetherChristian.com ad at the top of this page? I think the copy is wrong. It should actually read “Meet Hot Christian Singles with Big Boobs in Your City” shouldn’t it?
UncleJeff
March 20th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Brenda Starr! OMG! All Dorita wants is “a piece of the Cratchit pie”!
Gal Friday
March 20th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

FOOB: Ending with a whimper and not a bang.

MW: I’d buy into Mary’s painful memories more except that I know little girls didn’t wear jeans and t-shirts in 1890.

SM: Oh wow, the Spidey Sense is back. Hoo-boy, watch out . . .
John C Fremont
March 20th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

A3G – I thought that was make-up Alan pulled from his pocket at first. I think I like the idea of Alan dressing up as a hooker at night, walking the “streets” looking for “thrills” with “Johns” doing “tricks.” I should get out more.

MT – That guy has an indentation on the side of his head the shape of Mark’s Right Fist o’ Justice just waiting to be punched. Man, this is gonna be good! Well, relatively speaking.

RMMD – I’m thinking that the serious problem Andy Reed has is related to whatever he’s watching on that television. I’ll bet he just found out they cancelled Scrubs.

DT – In the last panel, Dick shows off his version of Mark Trail’s RFoJ – Ladies and gentlemen, The Left Fist of Arthritis.

GT – Young William H. Macy is going to offer to play Andrew’s dad. I hope he does it as the guy from Fargo. Oh, geez, that’d be good, ya know.
Alt Comix
March 20th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan June’s problems are not over yet. With someone locked in the closet, and the good doctor in no rush to get to his patients, what will she do?

Click here to find out: http://flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2347080356/sizes/o/

By the way, if you have too much free time and if you want to get caught up on some of my other time-wasting drivel, there’s more stuff here: http://flickr.com/photos/altcomix/
dimestore lipstick
March 20th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Today’s Gil Thorp, panel three, seems to feature a young Roddy McDowell. Compare and Contrast:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/3/20&name=Gil_Thorp

http://www.librarising.com/astrology/celebs/roddymcdowell.html
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Shall we look for a ring?

Like what Granthony, you are planning to buy a whole lot of Crackerjack and paw through them just hoping that you find a ring?

Either that, or you will present Liz with the non-traditional engagement temporary tattoos.
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

I’ve found that a good, medicated shampoo will get the spider-sense a-tinglin’ in my scalp, too.
Dr. Mabuse
March 20th, 2008 at 11:03 am [Reply]

#15 Pete Moss: “I’m not in a hurry for Elizabeth and Anthony to get married, either. But I can’t wait for them to finish talking about it.”

Truer words were never spoken. LJ isn’t even THINKING anymore. She just knows that phrases like “We’re not in a hurry” and “We don’t want to rush” are good incantations, and anyone who says them receives guaranteed admiration. So she shoves them in without any attempt to think out whether they fit the situation, kind of like carrying a rabbit’s foot is supposed to bring good luck.

On the other hand, everything else in Liz and Anthony’s life is proceeding at the speed of light: old boyfriend dispatched? Check. Anthony’s jealousy done away with? Check. Reluctant step-daughter reconciled and won over? Check.
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy is about to punch George Washington for being so skeptical about his latest plan which will once again lead to some poorly drawn character’s grizzly death.
Oddball Turkeypanties
March 20th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

I don’t know – in my admittedly limited experience with engagements and marriage, which I observe from afar, it seems like purchasing the ring is usually good sign that the two lovebird will be getting married within a year and a half.

Also, perhaps Liz has no idea how much easier it is to get hit on when you’re wearing a sparkly bobble on your finger? Or maybe she DOES know?
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

A diamond engagement ring – the solitaire that says “I’m screwed”.

A diamond engagement ring – like a ball and chain, only smaller and way more expensive.

An engagment ring – the pink ice that says, “I peed on the stick and got a plus sign”.

An engagement ring – proof that size really does matter.

An engagement ring – give her the rock, and the resulting sex will rock you.
Sobek
March 20th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

Brad’s dad isn’t talking to Brad in that last panel, he’s looking straight at the camera, apologizing to the director for his improvised remarks that suggest — however remotely — that people in LuAnn know what sexual urges are.
Oddball Turkeypanties
March 20th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

In other words, “mewl” is perhaps my favorite word.
Oddball Turkeypanties
March 20th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

In other news. News. DAMMIT.
odinthor
March 20th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

I wonder, I wah-wah-wah-wah wonder . . .

Luann — Are we sure that Brad knows the difference between “cologne” and “colon”?

Brenda Starr — I wonder if there are readers just stumbling across Brenda Starr who wonder why two chicks are having an intense conversation about possibly being related while a near-naked handcuffed dude writhes in bed in the background. No? OK.

RMMD — Uh-oh, Rex. Someone ratted out that little circle of necrophiliacs you joined.

Apt. 3-G — Hey, I didn’t know that Sharpie Magnum permanent markers came in pink too! Sniffin’ the stuff, Alan? Way cool, man. Don’t get the big chisel tip too close to those nostrils!

GT — Great to see that Roddy McDowell got another gig! I wonder if they can fit a few choruses of “The Seven Deadly Virtues” into the story…? Hey, I see dimestore lipstick (#25) recognized him too while I was writing this! Way to go!
Loopina
March 20th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

MT is shaping up to be a valuable lesson in pet ownership.

For instance, don’t let your dog out to roam the streets at will. I mean, leash laws and everything.

Second, put a tracking device on your dog’s collar. Because, you know, collars don’t come off. And microchips have been around for more than a decade.

Third.. ok, I lied. There is no third. But don’t you love the heavy-duty foreshadowing in the third panel?
Loopina
March 20th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

MT again – I love how happy that poodle is to be kidnapped. Does Elrod actually know what a poodle, or any type of dog, actually looks like? His wildlife portraits are great, dogs notsomuch.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Just remember Granthony that the diamond industry has said it is best to spend two months salary on an engagement ring.

So that works out to what for you, $2200 Canadian? That’s what, $1.25 here in the U S of A.

Better go with the cracker jack plan.
G.
March 20th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

I would love to see a Spider-Man NEXT! narration panel do a guest appearance in the final panel of Apt. 3-G today.
DrBear
March 20th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

He’s probably schlepping drugs for Margo…
“More mules, mule!”
Mountain Mama
March 20th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

I’m hopelessly behind this week, but thanks for the nice comments as I’m riding the float again! I’m so happy!

Truly. You have no idea. I don’t have much of a life.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Marmaduke: “He is going to have your balls, one way or the other, little brother. Might as well let him have the fuzzy, rubber-and-felt ones.”

#81 – $2200 Canadian? That’s what, $1.25 here in the U S of A – not exactly, dude.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

81? 38? Whatever.
minor flood
March 20th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

I get a definite Bert ‘n’ Ernie vibe from Luann today. Looks like another night alone with his pigeons for ol’ Bert.
LAmonkeygirl
March 20th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

These FOOB strips have caused so much bile and vomitus to rise up in my throat, I’ve burned away my esophagus.
anonymous
March 20th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#19 – NO NO NO – it can’t be an oval! Or an emerald cut, or marquise, or multiple stones! It HAS to be One. Perfect. ROUND. Stone. Tiffany setting. The blandest, most cliched diamond ring in the world for our Liz, nothing else will do! Only choice: small and practical? Or big n’ gaudy? But it just has to be round.
BigTed
March 20th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Liz first learned that lesson about not shouting your feelings as an early supporter of Howard Dean.

Apt. 3-G: It takes a terrible addict — or a great one, I’m not sure — to forget that you bought drugs in the first place.

Luann: What’s really sad is that Brad’s father needs some kind of pheromone seduction cologne to get some from his wife of 30 years. I’m betting he also keeps some minor leather items and spicy board games on the top shelf of his closet.
Cupid Stunt
March 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

For those of you behind in your Judge Parker, allow me to recap:

2/28 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/1 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/3 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/4 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/5 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/6 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/7 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/8 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/10 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/11 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/12 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/13 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/14 – Biff and Elvira are concerned about Abbey’s suspicions

3/15 – Biff and Elvira are concerned about Abbey’s suspicions

3/17 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/18 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/19 – Abbey is suspicious that Biff and Elvira don’t have a working farm.

3/20 – Biff and Elvira are concerned about Abbey’s suspicions

Any questions?
smacky
March 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

#38: Justafoob, check the exchange rate, buddy. Today, an American dollar get you just $1.02 Canadian. A few months ago, the Canadian dollar was actually worth MORE than the American dollar, for the first time in over 40 years.

Anthony can buy a slightly better rock in Canada, not that an accountant at a used car lot is exactly rolling in dough on EITHER side of the border!
Superfecta
March 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

In what universe is ‘I’m just glad we talked about it’ an appropriate response to ‘hey, we’re getting married’ (even if said discussion was painfully dry and devoid of any real feeling)? It doesn’t even seem to jive with the ‘thank Jebus I’m some man’s property’ emotion in the final panel.

Is this a Canadian thing?
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#46 anonymous – Quite true. I’m afraid I’m just alliteratively out of practice.
FSogol
March 20th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Foob: For Anthony and Elizabeth, the ring is the equivalent to a dog peeing to mark his territory. Note to self: Don’t read tomorrow’s strip.

Luann: Replace the word “cologne” with the word “deodorant.” You’re welcome.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 20th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

I just want to say that this entry has one of the funniest titles I’ve seen. And it’s about as romantic as what Liz was thinking to begin with. (Thought for the day: Anne Boleyn was taken too.)
Steve S
March 20th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

I wonder what the median age is for comic strip characters to lose their virginity. Somewhere between 21 and never, I’d guess.
Bootsy
March 20th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Pete Moss sez:

Dick Tracy is about to punch George Washington for being so skeptical about his latest plan which will once again lead to some poorly drawn character’s grizzly death.

More bears! yay!
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

#13 – Oh, no, the dog-thief wife is named Shirley too (or three?)? What is up with this?

#17 – Hopefully Dean Booth or Bats will take care of the problem. ; )
Dingo does a great PS mashup as well. : )

#25 – Did you ever see “Dead of Winter”? : P
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

An engagment ring – the bauble that says “I’m bonin’ the same person for the rest of my life”.

An engagement ring – jewels for fools.

An engagement ring – she’ll clean it obsessively at first, but by your second anniversary, it’ll be crusted over with hand lotion, causing you to wonder why you spent so damn much money in the first place.
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

#48 – Yes, when will the quiz be?
Wisconsinite
March 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

RE: Luann.

Brad is like what, in his early twenties? He’s out of high school, through the fireman training course, and living on his own.

I’ll be (very) charitable and not mock the fact that he’s never needed a tie before now.

So he finally needs one. Um, why not go and buy one? You’re going to still borrow one from dad? What a loser! Is he planning on borrowing a suit as well?

I usually buy a suit first, and then buy shirt and tie combinations to match. Who starts with just the tie? Maybe dad should be giving him dressing tips, not cologne tips.

And what exactly is he planning on wearing beside the tie? Toni’s a lucky gal.

RE: FOOB;

On such an occasion, shouldn’t there be a lot less hugging and a lot more gettin’-it-on? I bet Liz sleeps at her own place tonight after another hug goodnight.

What a loserpalooza fest today.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

I am sorry, I get confused about exchange rates and stuff. Work here gets hectic and I lose sight of those things.

Work being at the Economic Advisers for the President.

Go back and snark amongst yourselves. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

i have to run now and do some errands but first, my car is almost out of gas, so I am going to fill up the tank. I think that a ten spot should cover it, don’t you?
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Looks like Moy and Geilla stole all of Little Mary Worth’s Spaghetti-o’s leaving only their tag inside the pantry just to taunt the little meddlin’ munchkin.
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

#49 – I think the CA dollar had more value than the Greenback around 1974-75 too. Not 100% certain, though.
Red Greenback
March 20th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Today’s Mary Worth Panels: Now ribbed for pleasure!
Master Mahan
March 20th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

I see Luann is starting to draw from the classics. I look forward to seeing Brad slay his father and seduce his mother before blinding himself in shame. Bernice will watch and make snarky comments.
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

#60 – A tenner in Euros, perhaps.
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 20th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

In spite of all our kvetching about Cathy’s dietary requirements, Foobian tokens of glurge, and the rest, look at the great things around us: St. Patrick’s Day, St. Joseph’s Day, Easter, and TODAY! Even though the weather in some places might not seem like it, Happy Spring!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2348111826/
Gabe
March 20th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Commodorejohn: Dogs aren’t in the military.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
March 20th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

I’m imagining Brad’s mom going out to dinner with her husband and thinking, oh god, he’s wearing the cologne again.

Special-occasion cologne: god forbid you should smell nice every day.

Meanwhile, a cologne story: the other day some random guy approached me on the street, introduced himself, and shook my hand. (I assumed he was going to ask directions, but he never cut to the chase, so I’m left assuming the place he was trying to get to was in my pants.) Anyway, after I extricated myself from the conversation, I found that my hand smelled like his cologne the rest of the evening, which was kind of creepy. I’m figuring there must have been cologne on his hands, and I assume that must be on purpose. So my question is, is this something people do? Put cologne on their hands so it rubs off on you when you shake hands? And could I use this in business to intimidate people?
PTrig
March 20th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Is it my imagination, or did Anthony grow a rat tail mid strip today? If ever there was cross-over potential between Apt 3G and Mary Worth it is now.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Anyway, when Granthony and Liz go looking for a ring Granthony will have to keep the diamond size in mind.

Ummm, bigger than a raisin, but smaller than a cinnamon roll, with a band of gold about the color as a crueller. . . ummm errrrr…. Hey wait! Is that a Tim Horton’s across the street. Excuse me.
Uncle Lumpy
March 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Foob — How they all must envy Farley.
Loppie Scaduto
March 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

MT – So these folx are “smart” enough to think to remove the collar. Are any of them also capable of surgically removing the microchip that is, nowadays more likely than not, implanted in said pooch?

I’m thinking “no”.
Pozzo
March 20th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Brad’s folks don’t go out all that much — that particular bottle has been sitting on the shelf since the night Luann was conceived (or, as Mom remembers it, “The last time I had to do THAT!”)
Hank
March 20th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

RE: FooB. The sad part of all this is just how matter-of-fact both Anthony and Liz are discussing this marriage. The air of businesslike resignation is palpable, even on the printed page. It’s almost as if the characters have, ala Daffy in “Duck Amuck”, realized they are pawns of the writer-artist and are simply going through the motions that Lynn is forcing on them.
Little Guy
March 20th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Luann: Brad’s dad should just say he used it the night Luann was conceived.
Tonstant Weader
March 20th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

For Better or for Worse has set white people back 50 years.
Bootsy
March 20th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

Bunne, I hate when someone hugs me and I go around stinking of his cologne or her perfume all the livelong day. And since this is the south, and that’s how we do things down this a way, it happens way more than I’d like.

(I think random guy’s hands smelled like cologne becuase those were the insturments used to apply cologne.)
Uncle Lumpy
March 20th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

#68 Bunnë –

A cologne story — I bought a used motherboard to fix my laptop; now it boots to the scent of Airwick’s “Evening in Vilnius.”
Muffaroo
March 20th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @19 – “The rock that says I’ve been rooked.” “The ring that says I chose wrong.” “The sparkler that says I’m ’special.’” “The jewel that says I’m a tool.” “The diamond that says I’m dim.”
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 20th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

15. Pete Moss and others: I have to admit about the “taking it slow” for Liz and Asshathony. I’m hoping that if it’s slow enough, Liz’s biological clock will have gasped its last and we won’t have to consider the possibility of procreation on these two dweebs’ parts. (Someone mentioned parthenogenesis as far as Squiggly C’s origins — I have embraced that possibility wholeheartedly. It’s the most merciful explanation, at least.)

As for the “ring,” I do like someone’s comment about Liz not being ‘taken,’ but ‘Tolkien.’ Aside from the fact that Asshathony has even less charm than Gollum…
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 20th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

FOOB:

You haven’t been taken, Liz. You’ve been had.
Killgrave
March 20th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Okay, I’ve lurked here for years, and I finally have something to say…

FOOB! I can’t take it anymore!

Johnson is obviously extremely confused as far as what makes a man attractive. She’s pushing that “soft, sensitive, gun-shy nice guy” for all its worth. But is that what a woman really craves?

Um… I think…the..answer isNO!!! Sure, Granthony is a delicate flower in a field of clueless egomaniacs (at best) and potential rapists (at worse). He’s very non-threatening.

But then we see a decisive young man who has the balls to strut into a girl’s apartment in the middle of the night, clearly state his intentions without equivocation, and act like he owns the place. He is portrayed as being the antithesis of the shy, sensitive Granthony, and somehow this is supposed to make us root for the latter.

But does that have any semblance whatsoever to real life? Is a woman more attracted to bland, cringing milksop who lays at her feet like a loyal dog, or the cocky x-factor who is not afraid to act like a man, with the good and bad that comes with it?

This is not rocket science…
kippetje2000
March 20th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

#35 odinthor: After the Tony/Toni debacle, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see that Brad has mistaken his colon for cologne.

In trying to investigate where Liz and Anthony are registered I came across this…http://www.finishing.com/434/64.shtml. Do you think, with all our snark, we’ll be invited to the wedding? We should all live that long.
Alfred E. Neuman, Frequently Taken
March 20th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

#25 dimestore lipstick, #35 odinthor— It seems that more comics characters are being played by real-world personalities these days. In addition to Roddy McDowell in today’s GT, Gil Thorp himself is played by Robert Mitchum, Vera in Mary Worth is played by Tonya Harding, and Elvira in Judge Parker is played by Rush Limbaugh.

Can our fellow ‘Mudges name any others? Let’s have a contest!
AhClem
March 20th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Blanthony will spare no expense in picking out a ring. Armed with a bag of quarters, he will relentlessly attack the “Treasure Chest” machine in the foyer of the local Food Town store until a capsule with just the right ring magically appears.

The only flaw in this plan is that he will likely be distracted by the Horsie Ride outside the store, and blow all of his money there. Meanwhile, Francie will be crying and pleading, “Please, daddy, can I have a turn now?”
Gal Friday
March 20th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

#48 JP I’m almost pining for the coffee house descriptions of war from a few weeks ago. Bring back the terrorists (who are not seen but described).
kippetje2000
March 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Liz and Anthony should register at:
http://www.sr-store.com/index.cfm?page=ourhistory
A four storey wonder. Which is three and a half more wonderful stories than we’ll ever get out of Lynn.
man behind the curtain
March 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

LuAnn — Once again, how to impress you hot girlfriend — dress like your middle-aged dad.

FBOW — hey slow down guys. maybe you should start off with a promise ring.

A3G — So this will be Season 6 of “The Wire” Alan heads down to Hamsterdam, and takes over Marlo’s corner.
Gal Friday
March 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#84 A3G’s Alan played by the late Tony Franciosa.
Shoshi
March 20th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

84–Garfield is being played by Morris.
Gal Friday
March 20th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

#84 Um, Elvira played by Shelley Winters.
Džefs
March 20th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

I like the firm grasp Alan has on how selling things works. “Just once, I could sell it,” he muses. Other, less well-thought men would attempt to sell that same tiny bottle four, five times! But not our Alan. His no-account beatnik friend has taught him well.
W.R.T. #48 – Judge Parker moves so fast! My head is left a’spinning.
AirForbes
March 20th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

I think Lynn keeps having her characters emphasize that they’re taking it slow to try to distract the reader from the fact that they’re going to be married with a full, everybody-in-Milborough, big-top style wedding six months from now. In fact, I think that was the main reason she extended her deadline for ending the strip from last September to this September. She couldn’t cram in the wedding and make it seem like anything but an abrupt ‘Rocks fall, everybody dies’ ending.

Of course, we would prefer to see Milborough and its inhabitants obliterated by a rockslide, but Lynn lives deep within Denial, ON.
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

#56 Calico – No, she’s not, but she looks exactly like Shirley the human.
GotFuzzy
March 20th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

89–Are you sure that’s not James Franciscus? Who’s up for a quick round of “Find the Finder of Lost Loves”?

And to be fair to the petnappers in MT, the microchip is not a LoJack. The chip contains the contact information for the owners, and it can be read by scanners at veterinarian’s offices and animal shelters. Ponytail and Shirley-Not-The-Duck probably hope the dog is chipped so they can call the worried owners, tell them they “found” their poodle and collect the presumably large reward. Which better be pretty large if they are going to cover the gas they burn cruising the “affluent northside community.”
Solocardate
March 20th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Loppie Scaduto @ 72: For what it’s worth, the identity chips what they implant in vets’ offices aren’t really “tracking” chips, as they can only be read with a scanner held right up to the animal’s neck. I suppose the dogfelons may be checking for some sort of GPS collar thingy, though.

Sadly, the last time this topic came up in CC, it was in a discussion of the Baron’s chip in Dick Tracy. Did you know the Baron has a Chip?

And does the poodle want his Gretchen?
Marco Milone
March 20th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Beautiful strips!
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

There is only one wedding gift that a true Curmudgeon could send the lucky couple, dollar store crystal swans.

I say everyone who reads this blog should cough up the five bucks (dollar for the swans and 4 for shipping) to send to the great Canadian couple.

Because we don’t have their exact address, may I suggest we send them to:

FBorFW.com
P.O. Box 100
Corbeil, ON
Canada
P0H 1K0

This could be the way that the CCers could show Liz, Granthony, and their great creator LJ our hopes for their future.

Don’t hesitate, do it today.
Cranky
March 20th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Alan is the best groomed junkie in history. Now he’s going to be the politest, most trusting smack dealer ever. “Um, sure, as long as you promise to pay me tomorrow. Pinky swear?”
The Casey
March 20th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

GT: See, now I was thinking that was Jim Carrey in today’s Gil Thorp. Bet he makes some funny faces!

PBS: And the EETAZeeB Corporation is powerfool. How do you know? Because it says so on their cardboard building, that’s how!

Also, are the Lockhorns getting robbed by a ballet dancer?
glutton4punishment
March 20th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

#82–Ditto!
Perky Bird
March 20th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

I have to weigh in on the whole “Let’s go look at rings” thing. I thought most men like to actually have a ring with them when they propose (especially if they’ve been thinking about marriage for a while). Or is it getting more common to go buy the engagement ring after you’ve proposed?

My husband had a ring when he proposed, but he had also done some (not too subtle) “research”. He knew I loved sapphires and didn’t want just a single diamond, and that I preferred white gold. He also noted that I sew a lot, and a raised stone would catch on my thread, so he got stones set flush with the band. We had to get it resized, but he at least showed that he had given this some thought and had paid attention to what I might like.

All I’m saying is, wouldn’t it have been more romantic to Anthony have shown Liz he actually knew about her likes/dislikes by purchasing a ring before he popped the question?
Professor Fate
March 20th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Should we look for a ring ?- Yo bland one you are encased in conventiality like a bug in amber – why would you even ask if you should look for a ring? Of course you get a ring.

And of course no sex before the wedding – and afterwards only when liz’s head is covered with a sheet so she can’t see you do ooky things.

God I hate this strip. This firehose of banal treacle without a single spark of human passion or compassion or life is deeply depressing indeed.
TheMagicMel
March 20th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Damn. Apparently, I am bland and cliche as I happen to love my round tiffany mounted engagement ring. And I thought I just enjoyed geometry and symmetry of form.
Poteet
March 20th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

A3G — Wow, what a cute tasteful sanitary little container of smack, with a pink childproof lid! Much classier than the dirty baggies of dope tossed into bushes by the perps in COPS.
Oddball Turkeypanties
March 20th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

I wonder if there will be a tie-in with the Canadian diamond industry? You know, the non-blood diamonds with the cute wittle polar bears engraved on them?

Then again, my hopes for a Timmy Ho’s tie-in were dashed. Is it sad that I think corporate sponsorship would make FBoFW more interesting?
Poteet
March 20th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

# 64 Master — BWAHAHA! I was trying to find some way to express how creeped-out I was that Brad is trying to replicate his dad’s sex life. Thanks for doing it so well.
Foobaphobe
March 20th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

FOOB:
For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot lately of the eating that will be going on at the Lizanthony reception. Does Lynn’s glorious palette of the English language contain enough variants of the words “slurp,” “guzzle,” and “slobber?”
Will there be enough cheeseburger and sausage macaroni casserole for all the guests?
Will delightful little Robin accidentally swallow the wedding ring? And will the dog die while giving him mouth-to-mouth? And will Gramps finally and truly choke to death on his prime rib?
Wait I cannot!
Mariko
March 20th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

“To love, Liz. On my terms. Those are the only terms a man ever knows–his own.”
–Citizen Caine
Poteet
March 20th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Foob — You all have snarked it so well, especially our Pope. Now all I have to do is shudder, toss down a wee drap of Lagavulin, and brace myself for what I dread next — seeing John and Elly caper proudly, their maws agape with ecstasy, at the joyous news.
Ribinin
March 20th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

#68 Bunnë – It is worse than Bootsy imagines. While true that he slapped it on with a heavy hand, one hopes it was very recently, because he has not washed his hands since.
Anonymous
March 20th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

“Pure as driven snow” Liz can’t marry Anthony for he is not a virgin.

Maybe the child was a product of Immaculate Conception or this being FBOFW a product of “Emasculate Conception”
scanman
March 20th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

“Pure as driven snow” Liz can’t marry Anthony for he is not a virgin.

Maybe the child was a product of Immaculate Conception or this being FBOFW a product of “Emasculate Conception”
Tats
March 20th, 2008 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

Well, this is great. Just as foretold in the prophecy, Anthony and Liz are entering this loveless union based on grim resignment, learned helplessness, and a mutual love of slacks.

This strip SUCKS.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Lizanthnony don’t have to worry about a lot of the details for the wedding.

Elly can get invitations done by the folks down at the old business.

John can take any old cake and make it special by running his trains around it.

Mike can write some really good toasts that people can use.

And Apewill can provide the music for your dancing pleasure. So long as you like fruging to Canadian-rock-angst-pop (CRAP) music. Why, I bet we can get Uncle Phil up there for a humorous song on the hosphonium. And for you older folks, Gwampa will get the non-drooling members of the bent-head rockers up there to keep it real.

*sniff* I can hardly wait.

I know my favorite part will be when John and Elly are driving home after the ceremony and reception and they reflect on their lives and how well their kids are doing and the great families they have started. Their job as parents is complete and they will bask in the memories of their lives.

All the while Apewill will be in the back seat fuming because she now she knows it is true, she WAS a mistake and her parents secretly wish it had been her and not Farley.

She will head south to join a gang of lesbian bikers.

One can dream. . . *sniff*
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
March 20th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#111 Ribinin — his hands were covered in motorcycle grease and he reeked of whiskey. Apparently I am too polite to refuse a handshake to anyone. I’m lucky all I got was a handful of cologne.

#78 Uncle Lumpy — brilliant! That’s awesome, in a way that probably gets old fast.
Patrick
March 20th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

A3G: As lame as Alan is, his internal turmoil is at least something compared to the predestined soulsucking mediocrity of Granthony and Lizardbreath. Why does nice have to equal boring? Who made this stupid rule? I’d love to see a portrayal of a nice guy who didn’t give up his balls or stopped being interesting because he was a nice guy.

FOOB: see above.

RMMD: Uh, oh! Rex might actually have to remember some of that medical training he supposedly got back in the 20th Century.

Luann: I’ve never paid much attention to it before, and now I see why.

Mary UnWorthy: The lack of imagination in this stupid flashback—is the artist or the writer? How many times do we have to literally see the cupboard is as empty as Mary’s soul?

Back to the A3G/ FOOB rant. I’m sick to death of milquetoast characters. Nice does not have to equal boring or saintly. This was well understood by television shows from the 1950’s through at least the 1970’s with characters from shows like Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Star Trek, MASH etc. Even if they were the more “sensitive” types like Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Hunnicutt, they still weren’t afraid to speak truth to power or slug an idiot now and then. Granthony types make me want to puke.
Shermy Glamrocker
March 20th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

So, Lizardbreath, until you have the actual ring you are — in the immortal words of “Otter” posing as “Frank Lymon from Amherst” at the sorority house to pick up his “date,” the late Fawn Liebowitz, — “engaged to be engaged.”

Which means I still have hope that Granthony will somehow drop out of the picture and she will ultimately marry Gap-Toothed Stary “Hoo” Guy.
warren x. copterpilot
March 20th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

I see white fish dinner for 100. White cake, white icing. White chairs in the backyard. In front of a burning bridal atrium, if I have any say.
Skeltometer
March 20th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Surely Liz Patterson will seek to change her name to Lido after the marriage. All the more numbing power!
Michelle
March 20th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

I can’t wait till Liz buys her first box of lowfat “girl cereal.”
WonderCat
March 20th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

48 – Thanks for the recap. Glad to see I’m not the only one who noticed the glacial speed at which the JP plot has been progressing this month. I mean, even in MT Andy would have sniffed out the drugs and Mark Trail would’ve been punching Biffby this point. (I don’t think the mustache is a coincidence!)

And of course, obviously a chicken farm that’s not what it seems is waaaaay more interesting than the threat of terrorists, bombs, and a really manly-looking old lady dying of cancer getting ready to mete out some vigilante justice with Dad’s old scattergun.
Anonymous for reasons of courtesy.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

okay, so maybe I am sharing too much in mentioning this, but my college boyfriend proposed to me in a manner identical to Anthony’s tacit proposal:

on veranda
bo: we make a good team don’t we?
me: (no response)

hours later:
bo: thanks for driving me home [many hours out of the way, late at night, due to car trouble]. I don’t think I would have been able to do the same for you.
me: (astonished grunt)
bo (holding my ring finger, caressing it): I think we need to figure out what to do about This.
me: (nervous giggle) You’re just trying to give me something to think about on the drive!
[goodbyes exchanged]

next day:
me: so we’re gonna get a ring?
bo: yeah.
me: okay.

two weeks later:
me: I don’t think we can do this anymore…[breakup ensues]

two years later:
me: so, when you said that about the ring, was that a proposal?
exbo: I don’t know; I guess so…

…

Anyway, Elizabeth is ridiculous for settling for so little effort or care in the commitment department. Even Elizabeth is worth more than a non-proposal-proposal. I guess ten years from now, they can have a non confrontational, no fault divorce. ugh.
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

#81 – My COTW Nom, for sure.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

#121 When Liz does do that she will be in for a surprise when she opens the box at breakfast, it will be empty.

Granthony will be looking at her with those big hurt puppy dog eyes and start to whine

“I had to eat it because I have no rolls!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaa”

As for lizanthony ever having sex, nope, not going to happen. They are both Virgins and it is going to stay that way.

Oh sure, lizanthony will discuss doing “horizontal curling” but the discussion will last hours, will involve a bunch of books, and by the time they figure out what they should be doing, Francoise will have to go to school. The next night, a repeat of the same thing.

This will go on for years until like most married couples “horizontal curling” (or in lizanthony’s case — talking about it) goes from hourly, to daily, to weekly, to monthly to the point where they are in the rest home reminiscing about it.

Remember when we talked about “horizontal curling” at Viagra Falls? Oh that was good. How about the time in Saskatoon when we almost finished the book and almost had to do it? Thank goodness for the fire alarm.
britbike
March 20th, 2008 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

102 Perky Bird –
My husband asked me to marry him, recited all the things about the ring that he knew I would want (and got them all right), but then said he wanted us to shop together because I was the one who was going to be wearing it, and he wanted it to be perfect. (It is). My sister had a very specific list of exactly what she wanted, and her husband surprised her with hers. It is also perfect, if completely different from mine. Both ways work with the right guy. (BTW, mine is also a non-solitaire sapphire–good choice!)
Someone from Texas....
March 20th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

102 Perky Bird.

Anthony could have proposed with a “joke” ring–something from a Kracker Jack box. Just a simple “I love you Liz. Will you marry me?” After many hugs & kisses, they could have made plans to shop for The Real Thing. (Sometimes guys don’t know what the ladies want….)

Instead, he mentioned his divorce & maundered on about how maybe they should think about getting married. Or something. Two hugs, so far. No kisses. No love.

Could a story be told more badly? Stay tuned, folks….
dale
March 20th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Zits 3/20

Didn’t the parents take the kid’s cell phone away?
Now the little shit is using it to mock his father. They should put the thing in the driveway and make the kid drive the car over it.
Spike
March 20th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

#117 Patrick: Your MW comment is COTW worthy! [Pun intended!]

To all the FOOB snarkers: Thanks!/Merci! (in keeping with Canada’s bilingual tradition)
Calico
March 20th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

#120 –
Lido
Wo wo wo woh woh woh woh
Trotzenbonnie
March 20th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – What’s all the hub, bub, about this token ring?

Sheesh. That’s what you get when you leave the geek jokes up to me.

Did you hear the one about the mercurial geek who went fishing? Ethernet was ok with him. Alright already! I’ll go back to watching Dr Phil…
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

I’d buy the lukewarm proposal if maybe there were some hot monkey sex to follow.

But there won’t be.

Lynn won’t show bedlock before there’s wedlock.

And even if she would, these two wouldn’t have a clue how to get started.
Justafoob
March 20th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

The trouble with your jokes Totzenbonnie is that they lose a lot in translation. I mean if you had said,

011101010 01010100 101010001 101001010101 0101010 10101 1010100 101010 1001010101 10010101 1010101 1010100010 01010101010 10010101 0101010110

I would have busted a gut.
Vakar
March 20th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

MW: Obviously, Li’l Mary’s mother has the wrong priorities. She painted the pantry, but didn’t bother putting any food in it! If only she had some magic beans…
WonderCat
March 20th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

102 Perky Bird – What’s missing here is that Anthony hasn’t been “thinking about marriage.” At best he has been “thinking about talking about marriage.” At worst he has been “thinking about taking it slowly.”Totally different thing.

And dang it, MY engagement ring is the white gold/diamond/sapphire combination, too. And here I was feeling so special… :)
Sandy
March 20th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Is it me, or does Anthony always seem to be telling Liz to “calm down” in some way? He sat there dumbly through his half-assed suggestion at marriage, and then tells Liz they’re going to take it slowly.

If this girl was any calmer, she’d be comatose. I’m practically comatose reading about her shitty, boring, predictable life. The most exciting thing that happens to her is when her friggin cat jumps on the table.

And… I see a hint of her mother’s nose in the last panel. It’s growing already. That’s what happens when Patterson womenfolk settle down.

Hot flashes and weight problems will fill her future for sure.
Chat Noir
March 20th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

When Anthony suggested they look for a ring, I just assumed they’d be scouring Milborough’s pawn shops for Therese’s old one.
AhClem
March 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

Oh, man, it must be spring. The sap is flowing freely from the Glurge Trees over on FOOB’s “Coffee Stank.”

["Stank" was an unintentional typo, but it seems so appropriate, I'm leaving it the way it is.]
Perky Bird
March 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

#127, 126, 135:
I guess we sapphire-minded gals aren’t too uncommon after all!

Yeah, the point I was trying to make was that Anthony showed no real sign that he had been thinking about marriage and/or about Liz herself. (I like the Cracker Jack token ring idea! Really fun!) Whether the guy lets the gal help choose the ring, or just surprises her, he needs to show more thought towards her and to marriage than Anthony’s “Am-I-Proposing-or-Negotiating-A-Car-Loan” bland speil.

In all this, I’m reminded for some reason of the Futurama episode where Leela dates Adelaide, the plastic surgeon. He can’t have anything be exciting or vibrant. He takes his Hawaiian shirt to the tailor to have it “toned down”. He asks the “Boquet Tree” to give Leela an “average” bouquet. He essentially proposes to her while working a puzzle of a pacifier factory. Still, I think he showed far more spark and daring than Anthony ever has!
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

#35, 83 – this begins to sound like something Lynn could work into her strip. “Mmmm, homemade mint suppositories – the cologne you shove up your colon” or something. (SHOVE GLOMP SPLBBBT)
Yaanu
March 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

My prediction.

The ring shopping will have at least three joke-free strips, two crappy puns, and will take about two and a half weeks, including Saturday strips.

Announcing their engagement will happen around a holiday, probably April Fool’s Day to catch everyone off guard.

The wedding planning will take a good month or two and will consist of three, possibly four plots:
- Liz and family are planning, Liz thinks of cold feet, denies all.
- Granthony and friends plan their side, G hopes it’ll all go down smooth, blah blah blah. Friends, if any, won’t stop talking ’bout Liz’s hooters.
- Warren, however, will bemoan and lament, culminating into a police search where it turns out Blandthony is a tax evader.
-A possible fourth would involve April or someone and is there for comic relief.

Anyway, Granthony and Liz will be on the altar, Liz being all “Do I really wanna?” and Blandthony being all “Check out dem jugs”. Knowing FOOB’s love for the cliched, when the priest is all “Speak now o’ fo’ever hold yo’ peace”, the cops come in and are all “Blandthony, you’re under arrest for being unloved.” They get married anyway and Anthony is hauled off.

Liz finds out it was Warren, and goes after him, finds him, and trashes him before realizing what he did, and kisses him (possibly with tongue), realizing he is the one for her. She divorces Anthony and adopts Francine. They then move to Canada, where Liz and Warren live out the rest of their life in peace. Anthony escapes, “accidentally” kills a ten year old for pocket money, and is captured and sent to federal prison, where he dies an old, broken, mustachioed man. Final words? “I miss you, Liz.”

Of course, that last part may be a bit out there for Lynn B. to undergo. Just everything before the last paragraph. It’ll most likely be that Liz explains whatever and pays up front half the taxes, and leaves with Grandthony to a better, happy, bland, sexless life as a housewife, while Grandthony spends his bi-weekly paycheck on hookers and blow.

Is there a limit as to how long these comments go?
UncleJeff
March 20th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

#66 Bats :) Happy Botanical Hallucinagens Day to you, too!!!!!
AtomicDog of The Tasteless Marine Patrol
March 20th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Diamonds – She’ll pretty much have to.
teenchy
March 20th, 2008 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

Today’s (20 March) SF, panel 1: Is it me or is Jackie’s left foot attached to her right leg?
Superfecta
March 20th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Another sapphire/non-gold woman here – and with a very similar story to yours, Perky Bird. My aversion to diamonds and gold was well-known, as were my general design preferences, and lo and behold, I got something perfect. And there was no dull discussion while sitting on an old sofa…
Baka Gaijin
March 20th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Garfield: It looks like Liz hasn’t called in a while judging by Jon’s, ahem, “frustration.”
jvwalt
March 20th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Liz is gonna have second thoughts about using the word “taken” when, after the joyous nuptials, Anthony carries her across the threshold and straight into the basement, where he shackles her inside that spooky crib. There she will live out her days, in her ever-more-soiled heirloom wedding dress, being hand-fed by the man who “took” her: the seemingly placid and reasonable, but secretly troubled and looking for revenge on the entire female gender, Anthony Caine.
WonderCat
March 20th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

139 – Yes. More thought, and a lot more tongue. Not that I want to see that, mind you, and I apologize in advance to any and all of you who now want to wash your eyes out with borax. It’s just that the only way I can imagine this “engagement” (translation – decision to continue taking things slowly only now with a more clearly defined goal to prate about interminably) being more chaste is if it was an arranged marriage. Which I guess it was. So never mind.
Patrick
March 20th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

I submitted this post to Glurge Talk. I doubt they’ll print this.

“I used to be a fan of this strip,but now I find it excruciating. Who made the stupid rule that nice equals boring? Why does any male character who starts out interesting has to be made into a jerk? Who decided that nice men could not also be interesting and still have their manhood intact? Liz could do much better than Anthony. Whenever I see people in “real life” settle like this, it always ends badly. Anthony is a disgrace to nice guys everywhere who have something in their souls that is deeper than his accounting spreadsheets and didn’t throw away their passion and their integrity in the process. These guys know the difference between the storybook and real life and that it takes some of both to make this journey. Opportunities for such characters have been wasted already. Oh, well.”
cheech wizard
March 20th, 2008 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Ahhh, Lizardbreath gets her Precious. Now maybe go has some nice fish to celebrate? Yesssss.
Spike
March 20th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#146 Baka: Agreed, but in the “Garfield Minus Garfield” universe, today’s strip is hilarious.

#66 Bats:[ : What #142 UncleJeff said! Your talent quotient runs circles around most of the comic strip artists!
rhymes with puck
March 20th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Luann: What is saddest of all is that a twentysomething guy wants to impress a woman by raiding his father’s closet.
Dagger
March 20th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

In FOOB’s ring talk of today, I misread “token” as “Tolkien.” Then I curled up in horror at the thought of Elizabeth with the One Ring.
cheech wizard
March 20th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

153 – Well, now we can watch Liz gradually transform into an unspeakable monster with with bug-eyes, slimy skin and webbed feet, snatching live fish out of Francie’s aquarium to gobble them whole. Or she can just keep evolving into her mother. Same difference.
ladadog
March 20th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Wouldn’t it be great if Anthony had said, “Liz, I’ve got a perfectly fine ring right here, and it’s only been worn by one person, and since she never did the dishes….”
Do you think that would have roused Liz out of her coma?
gkl
March 20th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

GA: And today, Sturdivant makes the residents of Gasoline Alley look good, which I believe is unprecedented.

GT: Are the producers of Three’s Company now writing this strip?

MW: Mary, the reason your feelings of lowliness and unworthiness persisted may have to do with the fact that you are lowly and unworthy.
P-Supe
March 20th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

With the exception of the basketball players being black, doesn’t this picture look like it could be a frame from Gil Thorp? I have no idea what’s happening!

http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/content/articles/2008/03/20/ap/sports/d8vhb6kg0.jpg
Gal Friday
March 20th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

FOOB: If this strip were to continue as an update of “Pride and Prejudice”: Warren (aka Wickham) would settle for Patterson daughter #2 April (aka Lydia) and they’d elope–completely disrupting the sanctioned Granthony/Liz nuptials. Warren and April have lots more fun and sex.
Nil Zed
March 20th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

all you white gold/diamond/sapphire ring wearers weren’t married, oh, about 1981 or thereabouts?

Mr. Zed pulled a silver ring of the sort you get at music festivals from his hand and put it on my hand as a place holder until he could afford a proper ring. That was 16 years ago. I’m a patient woman.
Hysterical Woman
March 20th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Damn, I didn’t know that Alan actually was a drugee! I thought that was just a joke among us hip ironic kids who make fun of the funnies! Will Dr. Rex Morgan come out of the closet next? Will we find out about Papa Drew’s chastity belt?
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

You know, we actually went shopping for a ring together (see last Wednesday’s thread for boring details). I wanted something so simple that I really didn’t see the need to help him pick it out.

I wanted, and got, a yellow gold, Tiffany set solitaire – and the only size requirement – bigger than my sister’s. She had a half carat, I ended up with a .71 carat – later that year, she upsized. Whore.

So I wasn’t surprised with the ring he picked out. I was surprised when he whipped out the credit card and said, “I’ll take it.” I even asked, “Oh my God! Are you sure?”

There’s nothing wrong with being practical – I suspect many of the mudges here are. But I think someone needs to slip Liz a copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Because I don’t think they can take it any slower unless one of them slips into a coma.
Mountain Mama
March 20th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Hey! I had a sapphire-surrounded-by-diamonds engagement ring once upon a time! I think I had Princess Diana’s ring in the back of my mind at the time.

I remember it being lovely and different from the traditional solitaire, and I’ve always loved sapphires. That was in 1999.

Alternate final panel: “All right, then. We’ll look for a ring. If we must. But don’t expect anything too outlandish.”

Me: “BLEEEEAAARRRGGGHHH”

What year are they in? 1870? This is just about the most unromantic discussion of an engagment ever. I’ve read dialogue between proper Victorian couples that was WAY more passionate and meaningful than this crap.

Is the word “love” going to be mentioned by anyone here? Love for her, love for him, even love for the child?

Bleah, bleah, bleah.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 20th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

In defense of the Mary Worth artist, it’s pretty hard to illustrate that narration. How do you illustrate, “Despite having a friend, the feeling of being lowly and friendly persisted”?
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 20th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

Ok, I totally said that quote wrong. But I don’t care, I’M NOT FIXING IT!
PeteMoss
March 20th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

157 P-Supe
There’s also similarities between that photo and the last panel of todays Luann.
Patrick
March 20th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

About eight years ago, I was on a quest for an engagement ring. I knew what kind she wanted and spent a lot of time looking for it. While I was doing that, I was also looking for just the right music box to put the ring in as my girlfriend loved music boxes. As a Dark Shadows fan, that appealed to me as well so I took a great deal of pleasure in looking for just the right one. When I thought the moment was right, I gave my girlfriend the music box and when she opened it and found the ring, I gave her a proper proposal and she accepted.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the proposal and looking for the right ring and the music box. I put my whole heart into it. Ultimately, it didn’t work out between us, but at least there was nothing lackluster about the whole thing. Unlike Blandthony.

FOOB makes me crazy. No one takes any real emotional risks. How can you know any great love or joy without being willing to risk the great pain that comes with taking a chance on life?
AhClem
March 20th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Preview of the great wedding scene:

Elizabeth and Anthony are up at the altar in a massive cathedral, with over 1000 people in attendance (12 of those on the groom’s side of the aisle), and a 300-rank pipe organ playing Bach’s Komm, Susser Tod in the style of Virgil Fox. Elly is snorting and blowing in the front row, a mountain of used Kleenexes at her feet.

The minister speaks: “Do you, Anthony Marion Caine, take this woman, Elizabeth Farley Patterson, to be your lawfully wedded wife, etc. etc.?”

“Hmm … I don’t know. What do you think, Liz?”

“Well, we’ve been friends for a long time. It would make sense.”

“It certainly seems logical. Do you think we should take it slowly?”

“I don’t know, Anthony. It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

“Well, we’re here in this church, which would seem like a good opportunity, but I want to make sure you’re comfortable with this big step.”

“Well, whatever you want is OK by me.”

“We shouldn’t rush into this, but if you want to get married now, I’m willing to try.”

“Are you sure? Have you fully gotten over your divorce from Therese yet?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I’m still dealing with that, but I think that, with your help, I can work thing…”

Minister, Francie, and the entire congregation, in unison: “JESUS H. CHRIST ON A CRACKER! WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!?”
Patrick
March 20th, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

#162 Mountain Mama: The Victorians were definitely more passionate. As I’ve said before in other threads, the Victorians were nothing like their stereotypes. They were passionate and articulate about their passion. The repressed stuffshirts were the Blandthonys of their day and they hated them as much as we do.
Olz
March 20th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Liz and Anthony had planned to move to Stepford after the wedding, but the town rejected them as too tedious.
Shmousie
March 20th, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

A ring! The doodad that says “I’m done for!”
Pearl
March 20th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

A ring – the bauble that says “ball and chain”…?

How many more can we come up with?
Pearl
March 20th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Or I suppose more appripriate for FOOB:

A ring – the glitter that screams GLURGE!!
Batman Beatles
March 20th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

FBoFW – Anthony better buy the ring from Jared’s if he knows what’s good for him.
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 20th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

A ring: it’s too small to fit around my neck, but that’s where it may as well be!
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

A ring! The cheap paste that says “I have no taste.”
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 20th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Crossover Alert:

A ring: the accessory that screams “AAAACK!”
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 20th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

A ring: the jewel that’ll make my mom drool! (munch eat snorf glomp)
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 20th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

A ring: the circle that says ’settle’!

Okay, none of mine are very good, but I’m not giving up…yet.
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

A ring! The surface of higher genus that says “I alone own this man’s penis.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

A ring! The shibboleth that says “living death.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

A ring! The shiny emblem of our whiny pablum.

There, that should just about run it into the ground.
Mr. O'Malley
March 20th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

A ring! The torus that says “Bore us!”
cheech wizard
March 20th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

MW – Somehow, this storyline doesn’t seem headed toward a denouement of “that’s how I learned an important lesson about honesty and character,” but “that’s how I learned to steal my first set of hubcaps.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
March 20th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Or, “That’s how I learned how to distill the wine-sweet childblood and ensure my own immortality.”
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

#182 Mr. O’Malley – Ah, now that’s a good one.
cheech wizard
March 20th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

Re: 183 & stealing hubcaps – Actually, that’s probably how Mary learned to spout vplatitudes, by blandly making her case before the parole board.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 20th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

FOOB: A Tragedy.

Scene 5
Liz: “A ring! Ring the alarum bell! Blow wind, come wrack, At least I’ll die with harness on my back.”

Paraphrased From Macbeth. (Yeah, I know it’s pretentious, but so is Lynn J.)
Mooncattie
March 20th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

MW – Enough with the cupboards already! That kid had more cupboards than I ever did when I was young. I can envision the occasional social assistance payment arriving at the household, and Mother Worth exclaiming “Great! Now we can buy some more cupboards!”
Alfred E. Neuman, Frequently Taken
March 20th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

A ring! The heavenly token that says I’m heavily tokin’.
Farley's Revenge
March 20th, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

#22Gal Friday says:
March 20th, 2008 at 10:50 am

FOOB: Ending with a whimper and not a bang.

Not unlike their foreplay.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
March 20th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

True Fable, beware: Man killed by goat! (They shot the goat for his crime.)
ladadog
March 20th, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

Is Francoise on the top bump of a bump bed? Or are those two goofs kneeling down at her bedside?
Or is she simply levitating, bed et al?
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

#191 – Dean – I ran across that article yesterday and debated warning our mudges – I’m glad you took the initiative.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
March 20th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

FOOB: When I got married, 31 years ago, the guest lists were rather lopsided: maybe twenty people from my side, and about 200 from my wife’s. But this Liz and Anthony wedding is going to be even more lopsided than that — he seems to have no relatives AT ALL except his daughter — no parents, brothers, sisters have ever been mentioned, and no friends either!

Well, maybe they can hire April’s band to play at the reception and they can hire The
Gap-Toothed Hoo Boy to sing vocals. And Michael’s two obnoxious brats and Francie can hobble down the aisle with the rings, as long as they point Robin in the right direction, since he seems to be too stupid to be able to figure it out for himself, or he might think the ring is something to eat.
Zaq
March 20th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

You know, if I were Brad’s dad, I really wouldn’t be worried about Brad having sex anytime soon. (And not just because I don’t view that as a bad thing, either.)
Perky Bird
March 20th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

#159 Nil Zed–Actually, engaged in 2005. Married the next year.

Mary Worth: “I was so poor and hungry, I took to stealing the cheese from mouse traps. It helped make the dandilions taste better.”
TheDiva
March 20th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

Another ringless proposal here, because a) the proposal was somewhat spontaneous and b) Mr. Diva didn’t know my ring size (he never asked and I’m not the type to go dropping so blatant a hint). I rather liked getting to pick out my own, actually.

And can I just say that whole “two months’ salary” benchmark is a load of crap?
No Evil Monkeys
March 20th, 2008 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

I literally stared at FBoFW in the paper this morning, completely gobsmacked by the last line. I actually had to read it again, to see if there was a reason Liz was thinking about “token” — actually for a second I tried to make it into a “token ring” joke, as if it were Dilbert or something.

Is there a word for these not-punchlines that people in the Foobiverse constantly barf forth? Like this nonsense today. It’s not a pun. It doesn’t rhyme. It just involves two words that have most of their letters in common. I suspect there’s not a name for that, because it’s not funny or clever or interesting in any way. And yet there it sits where the punchline would be in a good comic strip.
Old School Allie Cat
March 20th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

A diamond: the only thing “hard” that Liz will ever get from Anthony.
Zaq
March 20th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

198 NEM: When someone clever does it, it’s just called “wordplay.” For a Patterson, I have a hypothesis that this is how they excrete.
Chance
March 20th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Don’t think anyone’s mentioned this and I thought it was funny.

On Jeopardy of, I think, 3/18 or 3/19, a woman answered a question about Jim Thorpe (All American) as “Who is Gil Thorp?”

A bit off there.
JP (not Judge Parker)
March 20th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

47: It’s not just that Alan forgot that he bought drugs – he apparently stuck it in his pocket and his been carrying it around town with him, completely oblivious! He must still be coming off of his latest high. Jeez.

76: Actually, I think FOOB just set the entire western world back 50 years. Women love being treated like property! They *want* it. Forget about that feminist bullshit you’ve been hearing about.

For the record, I vomited a little bit when I read that strip.
ladadog
March 20th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

The token that says I’m taken …takin’ it to the pawn shop and getting the hell out of Dodge.
Lisa
March 20th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

I suppose Lynn is really playing up the fact that Liz and Anthony have been friends since childhood, so that this is a natural extension of that, so no proposal or real emotion needed.

Kinda boring.
Vince M
March 20th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

198: That wordplay comes straight out of that exchange from ‘The Producers’:

Roger De Bris: Bialystock and Bloom, I presume! …pardon the pun.
Leo: What pun??
Max: Shut up, he thinks he’s witty!
LTBF
March 20th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

We got engaged without a ring. Afetr a while, we wnet and looked at rings. She showed me three she liked and indicated she really liked one of them. We also picked out wedding bands that day.

The day I picked up the bands, I bought the one she liked the best. (Luckily for me, it was also the cheapest of the three.). That night, I told her I had gotten the bands and gave her the bag. She inspected them and said they were nice. I then said they gave me this ring box to keep them in. She then opened the box to put them in and was stunned to see the ring she had picked out.
scott
March 20th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

I can’t wait for the teen aged Mary Worth flashback. Especially when she discovers that men are extemely interested in and will pay for, well, SEX! There I said it.
By the way, Alan, go ahead and put that stuff up your arm. Everyone knows you can quit anytime you want to…You just don’t want to.
FOOBed again
March 20th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

3/21 Gil Thorp: That 3rd panel guy was Tyler Jay??? WTF happened to his hair? And why would Andrew tell him about his predicament? And why do I even care??!?
gkl
March 20th, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

#207 Scott: I’m pretty sure Mary’s a virgin. At least, I hope to God she is. The alternative is too terrifying to consider.
Violet
March 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

#82 Killgrave

With all due respect to your point of view, I found your assertion that women in general are put off by a “sensitive nice-guy” and attracted to a “cocky x-factor” somewhat inaccurate and kind of unsettling. As far as I’m concerned, if a guy were to “strut into [my] apartment in the middle of the night, clearly state his intentions without equivocation, and act like he owns the place,” I would be calling the police/looking for a blunt instrument to brain him with. Seriously. I find a guy being aggressive and presumptuous to be a HUGE turn-off. Also, I don’t think the problem with Anthony is that he’s too nice; in his unspeakably dull, affectless way he’s actually rather an inconsiderate, self-centered jerk. Just my opinion, for what it’s worth.
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

#202 JP (not Judge Parker) – “Actually, I think FOOB just set the entire western world back 50 years. Women love being treated like property! They *want* it. Forget about that feminist bullshit you’ve been hearing about.”

No kidding. I generally eschew feminist-type ideas beyond equal treatment, but if anything could make me change my mind, it’d be observing Lynn Johnston’s mindset. Hey, girls, remember that the One True Patterson Way dictates that you marry a pasty creep and become simultaneously his thrall and his manipulative master! It’s two flavors of sick!
LTBF
March 20th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

After I proposed, my wife nodded her agreement, grabbed me by the hand and dragge d me intothe bedroom to consumate our engagement.

Granted, with a kid in the house, that isn’t possible for them. But they haven’t even kissed. Just an excited hug and a warm embrace.

And why did Anthony buy bunk beds when he only has one child?
Uncle Lumpy
March 20th, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

#212 LTBF –

. . . why did Anthony buy bunk beds when he only has one child?

The Pattersons have bunk beds. It’s an hommage.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
March 20th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

LTBF -

Great ring story.

As to bunk beds, you get them so you can have sleepovers. I had a bunkbed… I’m not an only child, but my sister and I were never going to share a bedroom (me being a boy, if you can’t tell from my hypermasculine nick “Bunnë”). Though come to think of it, as a child, I did often wonder why I had a bunk bed. My sister had a trundle bed, which seemed somehow more reasonable.
Scherzo
March 20th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

Y’know, I think I would feel better about the Foobs if Anthony stood back, paused a beat, and then yelled “WHO AM I KIDDING? She said she’d marry me! YEEEESSSS!!!!” and then picked Liz up an swung her around…
Drama! Interesting things happening…Shiny, happy people… perhaps… even amusing?

I am way too invested in this stupid comic strip.
It’s just that I detest how bad the writing is…
cheech wizard
March 20th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Hah = LIz thinks an engagement ring will keep guys from hitting on her now. It’s her lumpy, fat ass that does that.
commodorejohn
March 20th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

#214 Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator – Trundle beds seem more reasonable until you try to trundle out the other bed; it’s a pain. in. the. ass. Bunk beds are much more convenient.
Hysterical Woman
March 20th, 2008 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

Warren was ecstatic when Liz said she’d think about dating him again. Whereas Anthony just acts blaise when Liz, the girl of his dreams, accepts his marriage proposal.

Passion isn’t everything for a relationship, but there should be at least some.
Frank Parsnip
March 20th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

Foob: Of course, Elizabeth can’t settle for a mere record-player needle. She’s going to need some real evidence of that love and a rock worthy of showing Warren that she’s “taken”.

For Blandthony, however, if Lizzie doesn’t accept the cubic-zirconium he’s picked out at WalMart, he’ll simply mark her “his” with a tattoo gun and a bladderfull of his unique scent.
LTBF
March 20th, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

141-Of course they’ll announce their engagement on April Fool’s Day. It would be the perfect way to steal attention from hersister’s birthday.

214-Glad you liked the story. Sometimes I can be pretty smooth.

I undertsand about bunk beds and sleepovers, but who in thei right mind would let their kid spend the night with Anthony?
ChattyGenes
March 20th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

I didn’t have an engagement ring. We only got plain, gold wedding bands. And my husband now refuses to wear his. He says it bothers his finger.

So it is now on top of our piano. My daughter made an actual-size scupture of her fore-arm and hand in her high school art class. It sticks up in the air from a small, wooden base. The fingers are closed except for the little finger, which is raised. This is the non-verbal sign for “sweetheart” in Japanese. Mr. CG’s ring is on the “sweetheart” finger.

It’s kind of a weird place to keep a wedding ring. But at least this way, we won’t lose it:-)
andreavis
March 20th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

Count me among the gals who got to pick out her own engagement ring. The proposal itself was a spur-of-the-moment type. We had casually discussed marriage several times, and one night we were sitting on the floor and I straddled him, pinning his arms down, and asked, “are we just joking around here, or do you really want to get married?” He agreed that he did, and a couple of months later, we picked out an step-cut amethyst set in sterling silver. Which I don’t wear every day because it doesn’t sit flush to the wedding ring, so I wear it on the right hand sometimes.

I think I’d have liked to have seen Liz straddling Anthony on the floor, but only if she was clubbing him with his own moustache.
Ed Grimley
March 20th, 2008 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

I couldn’t help but notice the strange DTM elbow marking on Brad (Luann). I must say, I’ve never seen elbow markings so pronounced that they’ve shown through a fine cotton sleeve.
Poteet
March 20th, 2008 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

# 188 Mooncattie — Actually, my first thought upon viewing poor little Mary’s suffering was “dang, I could use more storage shelves like that.”
Poteet
March 20th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

Foob — I say we haven’t seen the last of Warren. In
fact, I wouldn’t put it entirely past Lynn to bring back all the men who have lusted after Liz in the next few months, including Howard, just to make it even clearer that she is Canada’s answer to Cleopatra.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 20th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Luann: It strikes me as weird and wrong to want to smell like one’s rutting parent.
Trotzenbonnie
March 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

#212 – LTBF
“After I proposed, my wife nodded her agreement, grabbed me by the hand and dragge d me intothe bedroom to consumate our engagement.”

So did the engagement ring look like this:

http://www.pphsinc.org/health-services/images/nuva_ring_lg.jpg
NotThatGuy
March 20th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Lynn’s projecting, I think. Lynn no longer has “the token that says ‘I’m taken’!” since Mr. Foob went AWOL with her staff. Instead of trying to project her will onto her characters, she would have done better to continue to mirror her life: have John run off with Candice or something. Then Lynn could work out her rage and frustration using Elly instead of trying to make everything come out “nice” with Liz and Boringthony.
Angry Beaver
March 20th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

maybe we’ll all be lucky and the monster from ‘Cloverfield’ will come and eat everyone in the Foobverse and that will be the end of that!
Lisa
March 20th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

I like that one for COTW!
Lisa
March 20th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Er, 226, that is!
Mr. Wuxtry
March 20th, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Creators Syndicate site this morning had a link to a Daily Cartoonist piece about the “Mason” who now signs the B.C. strips. He’s Mason Mastroianni, a grandson of Johnny Hart, and he was Hart’s choice to keep B.C. going. It’s long, but for most of the way it’s a pretty good read: http://tinyurl.com/2hzbt2
BenG
March 20th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Luann- In keeping with the long standing DeGroot family tradition, Brad must not lose his virginity until he is completely bald like his father, his father’s father and so on.
Mooncattie
March 20th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

#224 Poteet – And they’re such clean shelves, too! Would it be too much to ask for a couple of oddly-drawn cobwebs here and there?

Re: #225 and Canada’s answer to Cleopatra – if Lynn threw an asp into the deal, then all would be forgiven! Or a moose with rabies…

(cue the moose jokes!)
Trotzenbonnie
March 20th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#131 – Me
Well, the Geekmeister General has returned and he ain’t too happy about my lame-ass networking joke. So go for it, honey-buns, if you think you can do better….

Mr T says:
“If Anthony gave Elizabeth a token ring for their engagement, does that mean for their honeymoon they’re going to MAU-i?”

I pity the fool who doesn’t laugh at that zinger.
True Fable
March 20th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

#191 Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol – thank you for the article, but I have my doubts as to the culpability of the goat.

I am supposed to believe that a little goat stood up on his little hindquarters and, holding the rope in his little cloven hooves, wrapped the rope around the man’s neck and strangled him? That this small creature was able to get the better of a grown adult human? Did the police question the goat and get HIS side of the story? – I’ll bet not! This is so obviously a case of finding a… *sigh* a scapegoat, yeah… that it moves me to active protest. He was railroaded, I tell ya! Someone else did the crime and, because the goat couldn’t speak for himself, he got blamed.

And talk about your swift miscarriages of justice! What about the appeals process, dammit!!

I need a drink.
Christian
March 20th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

“But does that have any semblance whatsoever to real life? Is a woman more attracted to bland, cringing milksop who lays at her feet like a loyal dog, or the cocky x-factor who is not afraid to act like a man, with the good and bad that comes with it?”

Hey…. as much as I hate this strip ANYTHING that makes girls more likely to be attracted to shy, cringing guys is a-ok in my book. Stop perpetuating stereotypes – some men aren’t good at punching.
Ed Grimley
March 20th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

MW: I’m not sure if that’s “The rest of the story” or not. My scarf is so tight, I don’t know if I’m having flashbacks or just thinking about that guy from INXS.
Ed Grimley
March 20th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

RMMD: MRSA? How the hell do I know where it came from? I just read it somewhere, in some paper, some place, on some planet, in some solar system! As best I can tell, it came from some galaxy in some universe. The question is. . .”How did a guy like you bag a chick like June?”
dreadedcandiru2
March 20th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

FBorFW: For those of you who wondered why Lizardbreath was getting married to Assthony, the answer is revealed today: to exact her brutal revenge on all the people she knows who have lives.
ScopesMonkey OoOoAahAaAa
March 20th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

turkeypanties?

Bwaah ha ha haha

Luann: Dad better not introduce sonny to his blandly compelling, if “spiel-of-clawed” artist friend Alan… or let the kid know where he and ma hide the ecstasy, for those clutch Mom-And-Dad-Save-The-World-Again don’t ask escapades.
True Fable
March 20th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

FBoFW Dr. Evil aka Plotting Liz is hellbent on revenge, but for what? For being a bridesmaid at the wedding that got her back together with Granthony? Look, bitch, that was entirely YOUR idea. Don’t try to blame Shawna-Marie for your bad taste in males; she tried to match you up with someone else. And don’t take it out on Dawn. She’s only an ignored secondary character, not your whipping girl.

Oh oh oh, that’s right – that’s what those bee-grinding secondary characters are FOR – for Patterfoobs to torment and humiliate at will.

Well, you’re still a Frost Tart.
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 20th, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

TGIFunnies!

DtM: I see the Keanes are writing for Dennis now…

FC: …not that it detracts from Dolly’s sparkling banter.

MW: oh, for god sakes, Toby, DON’T ENCOURAGE HER!

RMMD: ok, I do NOT like this. Why couldn’t it be something like rockin’ pneumonia, something about as real as Rex’s medical credentials?

FOOB: finally, a day that almost lets Elizabeth be something other than a Stepfoob wife-in-training. It won’t last.
The Naked Kissing Bandit
March 20th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

Happy fisrt day of spring, everybody! …now that hunting season is off (or it should be now, right? to let the little baby fawns grow to a respectable huntable size?), keep your pets and livestock a good distance from Mark Trail.

Out of pure happy-go-lucky interest and hazarding reasoning that maybe some people are fucked-up enough to like the comics AND hunting, does anybody know the rules about that? I mean, I know there are different seasons for diffrent targets.. but I look ghostly in orange
Trotzenbonnie
March 20th, 2008 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – Okay. Now I’m really mad.
Truman Fable, may I please hold the ranting stick? I promise to give it right back because I think you’re going to need it.

So, knucklehead Elizabeth isn’t concerned about setting a date for the wedding but she can’t wait to wear a frickin’ engagement ring? Well, isn’t that putting the horse’s ass before the neigh hole.

‘Golly gee! Look at me! I have a big old rock on my finger!’
So, Elizabeth, are you looking forward to spending the rest of your life with Anthony?
‘Anthony who? Golly gee! Look at me! I have a big old rock on my finger!’

Ah crap. If I start to wail about using your wedding day as Bridesmaid’s Revenge, it will make me so crazy I’ll probably shove this ranting stick straight through my eye sockets just to put myself out of my misery.

Frickin FOOBS.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
March 20th, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Foob, March 21, 2008: Liz invites Dawn and Shawna-Marie to be bridesmaids because it’s “payback time,” thereby granting Dawn and Shawna-Marie carte blanche to ditch their escorts, stagger around barefooted, pick up some guys at the wedding and get groped in the bushes while still in view of the embarrassed and uncomfortable wedding guests.
The Naked Kissing Bandit
March 21st, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

#246 Maybe the bridesmaids and Liz can get totally wasted and grope each other in the bushes, leading to a month-long non-plot about why do they still make wall closks with odd gold-leaf patterns and so on etc.
Lisa
March 21st, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

Liz didn’t like being a bridesmaid?
The Naked Kissing Bandit
March 21st, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

sorry to surreptitiously grab the girly ranting stick.

maybe they’ll just rip their slips dry humping the trees.
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

#245 Trotzenbonnie – Nice job, darlin’! You can wave the Ranting Stick any old time you want to.

I’m gathering my wrath and will unleash it at the optimum time – like before I burst an artery. But this is not yet that day. :-)
Starrynight
March 21st, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

197 TheDiva- I agree that the “two months salary” thing is a load of crap. Obviously someone in the jewelry industry thought that would be a great strategy to increase profit margins.

My husband proposed after we’d know each other one month. Neither of us had very good jobs and there was no engagement ring. Eventually I picked out a $50 amethyst heart ring at Service Merchandise.

That was 14 years ago. I could care less if I ever get anything more expensive than that…
BenG
March 21st, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

RMMD-You know what’s always bothered me about this strip? Not enough dead children.
Starrynight
March 21st, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

229 Angry Beaver- I would love to see that happen.
The Diabolical Squid
March 21st, 2008 at 12:37 am [Reply]

So, Liz and Anthony are engaged. Being as he was her first-ever boyfriend, and you ALWAYS end up with your first love (they never turn out to be Norman Bates) it’s really no surprise.
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) “the ex-boyfriend in the freezer”? Holy SHIT, no wonder Irving married her; he didn’t dare break up with her. That explains SO much.
FC Dolly, you little kiss-up. But you forgot about when Daddy’s girlfriend who thinks he’s a single man, calls.
GA Oh boy, a prospective Love Triangle for Gasoline Alley! How… oh my lord, how dismal.
GF When is Satchel going to break down and yell “Margo Boxcar Saturn”, goddammit?
JP Today, it’s Donald Rumsfeld in drag, giving Biff a hard time about the errant box.
MT We may not find out what the Illness of the Month is until Monday.
Marmadick Ye gods, it’s as if someone slapped some Gem-Majic on a coat and one of Olivia Newton-John’s old sweatbands on him and said good enough.
MW Toby: “I was afraid you’d say that!”
PBS I can even out my loathing of today’s FOOB by laughing butt of me off at today’s Pearls.
RMMD Fable’s ears just went up at the sound of an actual medical condition mentioned in Rex Morgan, Mind Disease! Holy Mackrel, a real condition! The question is… will it be accurate? Stay tuned!!
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

# 234 Mooncattie — Asp, moose with rabies, both excellent ideas! Or an angry grizzly. Or for now, just something to make her stop looking at me!
Poteet
March 21st, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

Foob — “Dudes”? So are Dawn and Shawna-Marie actually guys in drag? Because if so, my interest in this wedding will pick up considerably.
kippetje2000
March 21st, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

Poteet en Mooncattie: Those are Lynn’s eyes lokking out at us. those are the pupils of a jilted adult woman, not an engagement first-timer.
ChattyGenes
March 21st, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

#257 Poteet. Yeah, I wondered about that too.

Mudgies out there younger than me (or, Mudgies who watch contemporary American sit-coms) : Is this dialog realistic?

In my younger day, we girls might have said, “Hey, guys…” to refer to our female gang of friends. What do girls say these days these days?

Maybe I’ll call up my daughters and ask…
Carly
March 21st, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

Alan’s going to get arrested. How much am I looking forward to that? A LOT. Actually, the way this comic goes, Margo will try a new career as a defense lawyer. The likely result will be that the judge will give him a harsher sentence, both because Margo fails at all occupations she tries and as punishment for subjecting the judge to her in the first place.
boojum
March 21st, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

257, 259: Sorry, but yeah. For my 15-year-old daughter and her friends, EVERYONE is “Dude.”

She has many other lovely qualities. . . .
Alfred E. Neuman, Tikkita Tappita Snark
March 21st, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

Good Friday Crossover alert:*

In honor of Liz’s “engagement”, Garfield is today paying a heartfelt tribute to LJ and the Pattersons, with a wink to us ‘Mudges.

*Apologies if that sounds vaguely sacrilegious.
kippetje2000
March 21st, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

I apologize for my spelling. I was trying to be cooleguial. Collougieal. Dammit how do you spell that word? But I know there’s no excuse for good capitalization.

FoBoW: From the look of panel four, I don’t think Lizbreath is gonna put that ring around her finger, if you know what I mean…

MW: Mary’s smug look in panel three sez it all, and for all of us. “Stop interrupting my story bitch. We could’ve been done with this arc already if you would stop breaking my train of thought with stupid questions.”

Luann: Haven’t we been through this shit with Brad for prom?

Phantom: What the hell is south of Bangalla? “This standoff is about to go to Mozambique?”

RM: Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus: No cheating…Does anyone know what this is without looking it up on the net?
ChattyGenes
March 21st, 2008 at 1:12 am [Reply]

#261 boojum. It’s amazing that Johnston got something right. Thanks for the feedback!
Adjuster
March 21st, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

MW: It’s a frightening concept, but somewhere in Karen Moy’s head was the thought, “Things are moving way too fast for Mary Worth. I’d better slow down the plot a little. You know, I’ve always liked guys with backpacks… better have one of them too.”
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

#263 kippetje 2000 – MRSA is a kind of staph infection that is resistent to most antibiotics. Tt’s pretty scary stuff, largely brought on by the throw-anything-at-it and-see-what-happens use of antibiotics.
Frank Parsnip
March 21st, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

MW: Even Tobey is having a “WTF” reaction to this. OK, so Mary’s childhood sucked, but what’s that got to do with how you’re determined to stick your claws into everyone’s lives? Oh, there’s “more” to the story? Crap.

MT: In the Mark Trail world, there are basically 3 women that Jack Elrod can cut-and-paste into the action: 1) Cherry Trail, basically a slightly humanized representation of Betty Boop but without any of the fun; 2) Sam Hill (of which we have another example here); and 3) Betty Page, e.g., the secretary working for the big construction company boss.

Sex Organ, M.D.:They make it sound like this staph infection were Ebola or Hanta. The doctor in panel 3 hitting himself in the head will later on try to blame someone else for it.

A3G: Although the coloring monkeys decided to stick to the printing basics of cyan, magenta and yellow, panel 3 deserves to go down as an A3G classic. The maneuver here is the same one Margo uses when she shouts out: “No touching” to her lap-dance patrons at the strip club.

DtM: Kuddles the Klown is able to keep only one Indian club in the air at any given time. Wondering aloud about another man’s shoe size? Not menacing. Giving lame-ass party clown a king-sized hotfoot? Menacing magic.

Marvin: Birth nanny? Oh, right, a surrogate mom. Thanks for sharing.

Funky Pantysniffer: With his funny jaw and mouth, Funky looks mighty familiar in panel 3… took me a while to place it but here he is:

http://www.sleepyfrog.com/cardsncomics/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=222

Sally Forth: Ted’s already thinking of upgrading his job to FAO Schwartz in NY from the world of Shortpacked!

H&L: Chip and his friend are at a crossroads in life… they can harness those hormones and try to hook up with some chicks, or they can continue to wear matching gray overcoats and stockpile shotgun ammo.

Wee Pals: Is he rebelling while wearing a Civil War rebel kepi hat? If it were a Union hat, it’d be a very dark blue — in b/w it should show up as being nearly black. So it appears we have the odd spectacle of a small African-American boy wearing his Confederate Army hat. That alone is far more menacing than anything that Dennis has done lately.

My Cage aux Follies: I hope the “Norm” plant becomes self-actualized and becomes a regular part of the strip.
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

#259 Chatty Genes – my dearest Baby Face and Poteet My Queen, “Dudes” is actually used on either gender, although it just sounds more natural on males. Of course, we could have been treated to another one of Lynnie’s patented “with-it” terms on the order of “gig” or “roadside”, so maybe Dawn and Shawna-Marie are getting off easy where Foobish endearments or nicknames are concerned.
Mibbitmaker
March 21st, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

3/21 FOOB: In this case, the “dudes” are all the suitors from before. She’s planning on inviting them to their we-really-meant-it-after-all wedding, where she’s going to give them all the Eric treatment (Eric, himself, for the 2nd time), only with the bridesmaids in place of Tina. And that way she’ll show Blandie that she’ll keep him in line, too, ruling the marriage in fear. And John won’t be the only Rod stand-in anymore: Blandie and the Suitors will be, too.
Mr. O'Malley
March 21st, 2008 at 1:59 am [Reply]

DtM: Funnily enough, it’s hard to find clown shoes in large sizes (on the inside).

The Lockhorns: Are you kidding? Have you ever watched any of those dance competitions? The women are practically naked. I don’t think Loretta would have any trouble at all getting Leroy to watch. He’d probably want to start practising with one of his six-foot blonde bimbo friends.

MW: There’s more to her story? I hope it includes a point.

Popeye: Popeye saying “lifestyle” is funny.
bats, junior bridesmaid :[
March 21st, 2008 at 2:08 am [Reply]

255. Truman, I doodled this (can you doodle on a computer? I dunno) a couple of days again, and just posted it quietly without fanfare. So, here’s the official toot:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2345034468/
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 21st, 2008 at 2:09 am [Reply]

FOOB: Oh, my sainted aunt. From “I must admit, I can’t wait to wear one!” to “That’s right, dudes… it’s payback time.”

I like to imagine that last sentence in a Randy “Macho Man” Savage voice. Or Tommy Chong.
Cerulean Pointing Hand of Doom!
March 21st, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

261: Maybe for your 15-year-old daughter, everyone is “Dude!”. But I’m closer to Liz’ age ( a couple years older) and while I do occasionally call my friends “dude,” I wouldn’t do it in the context presented.
Mibbitmaker
March 21st, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

3/21:

ZtP: So here, comic books — even indies — are stand-ins for TV* in this elitist morality play. Comics are the disease, prose literature is the cure… interesting idea, coming from someone (Griffith) who makes comics!

* (Given my attitude about both, I’ll let superhero comics be my stand-in for “reality” shows)

Ziggy: Bad Idea Jeans… uh… Ties.

Popeye: Wecome to “Wisdom from Wimpy”…

OBH: Is Curtis’s would-be girlfriend (not Michelle) reading this strip?

BigDog: Aw, he was looking forward to getting a custom-made chopper from the OCC! (He’s a huge(!) fan of Mikey)

MF: How far the Unknown Comic has fallen since his Gong Show heyday — an actor in propaganda! That’s too bad…

JP: Yeah, y’ old mustache! Listen to Shelly Winters there.

GT: Tyler Jay? A “good idea”? Does it involve a barky stick?

GF: Those “Ha ha!”s are getting awfully forced there, Robbo.

GA: Jerry Lewis is getting mighty haughty these days.

DtM: Uh….. THAT size…?

A3G: Margo is a disciple of “Seinfeld”.
Frank Parsnip
March 21st, 2008 at 2:15 am [Reply]

bats: Good stuff… also loved the “Love Is”
Alfred E. Neuman
March 21st, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

#263 kippetje2000— MRSA is the Borg of staph infections. It develops resistance to antibiotics as fast as new antibiotics are created to deal with it. A substantial percentage of those who get it die. It has been endemic in hospitals for the last several years as hospital standards for antiseptic practices have declined. (Gotta maintain that bottom line!) I don’t know which is more amazing, the decline in cleanliness of some hospitals to Civil War levels, or that Rex Morgan, MD might actually do something involving medicine.
TB Tabby
March 21st, 2008 at 2:44 am [Reply]

Today’s Zippy makes me thoroughly uncomfortable. And I thought learning that I had something in common with a Plugger was unsettling. Between this blog, scans_daily, and Superdickery, I blow away that average. Maybe I can show them some pages of Civil War, One More Day and Countdown to get them to give up comics.
TB Tabby
March 21st, 2008 at 2:44 am [Reply]

Today’s Zippy makes me thoroughly uncomfortable. And I thought learning that I had something in common with a Plugger was unsettling. Between this blog, scans_daily, and Superdickery, I blow away that average. Maybe I can show them some pages of Civil War, One More Day and Countdown to get them to give up comics.
TB Tabby
March 21st, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Whoops! Thumb twitched.
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]

#271 bats, junior bridesmaid :[ – Brava! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout! Darlin’, everything you doodle warrants fanfare!
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 3:14 am [Reply]

It just struck me that Liz may be calling her friends “Dudes” because she is so used to seeing her brother Michael, that anyone similarly effeminate must be “dudes” as well. In time as everyone becomes more and more Pattersonesque in appearance, the whole Foobish estate will be Dudes from Potato Nose to Chinnuts to TrainMan, on down to Poopy Pants. They will spawn by releasing spores.

Oh lord what an awful nightmare.
Jilliterate
March 21st, 2008 at 3:25 am [Reply]

A3G (3/21): You can see the panic starting to flare in Margo’s cold, robot eyes: “Lu Ann…halt. Please cease hug function. I am not equipped to process human emotions. Halt hugging. Warning! Overloading personality matrix!”

(At this point, just use your imagination to picture the mechanical whirring and smoke that is surely about to start pouring from Margo’s ears)
True Fable
March 21st, 2008 at 5:49 am [Reply]

crap, crap, CRAP! I JUST finished adding a post to the Mark Trail Theater in the Forums, hit submit, and then stared at the sign-in screen. I signed in but to no avail, my post was GONE.

So much for that. I may never be able to recreate the Battle of the Large-Breasted Boobies or Why Sam Driver Doesn’t Respond to Stimuli As He Ought.

Next time it’s save-on-Word all the way. Dammit.
ChattyGenes
March 21st, 2008 at 6:01 am [Reply]

#283 True Fable. Sympathies. And that’s an intriguing title (the first one. Well, also the second one).

Um…there’s always tomorrow? I hear Word calling you. If you write it, I will read it!
Godzooky
March 21st, 2008 at 6:41 am [Reply]

#263 kippetje2000: MRSA, per “Nightline.” At this point, it’s become a little more prevalent (per a 2007 APIC.org hospital survey, 46 out of 1000 patients, 34 of those infected, 12 carriers), but it’s not the Black Plague yet.

Got a small case of it myself last November (Lord knows how, my main activities the month before were computer work at the office and computer & TV at home). One drained abcess and four antibiotics later, it’s all clear, but I have a nice purple scar where it was cut. Note: If that small, annoying pimple turns into a large red bump that keeps expanding in territory, run, do not walk, to your doctor.

I fully expect RMMD to misrepresent MRSA, but if it helps get the word out, what the heck.
Weaselboy
March 21st, 2008 at 6:49 am [Reply]

MW: Cue Paul Harvey!
man behind the curtain
March 21st, 2008 at 6:49 am [Reply]

MW — Anything to her story would constitute “more” to her story. Like the porverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”, hopefully there’s an end to her story and itwill be coming soon.
Kurdt
March 21st, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

#286: And that little boy that nobody liked grew up to be….Mary Worth! And now you know the rest of the story.
athena
March 21st, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

Unless Mary ends up eating her little friend, the eventual denouement of this flashback is going to be anticlimactic as far as I’m concerned.
Whippersnapper
March 21st, 2008 at 7:16 am [Reply]

Foob: The most boring and tepid proposal ever is followed by the most boring and tepid engagement announcement ever. I’m not a squealing, screeching kind of girl, but I announced my engagement to Mr. Whippersnapper with excitement. But then, Mr. Whippersnapper isn’t a whiny, boring milksop, and I’m not the epitome of bun-wearing desperation.

GA: Why does everyone in this strip have freaky-deaky eyes? And they’re not even all the same freaky-deaky eyes- there are several varieties of freaky-deaky eyes!
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 7:20 am [Reply]

#136 – you wrote
“Hot flashes and weight problems will fill her future for sure.”

Ol’ tart-butt Jr. will go from “Tickita tappita-tik-tap” to “Flappita Flip Flup Flap Floop.” I can hardly wait.
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 7:27 am [Reply]

Glurge glurge glurgety glup glop BLECH
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 7:31 am [Reply]

#289 – Depends on how you define “Eating.”
Oh, my, I feel nauseous now.

Mary drones on and on…”wait, Toby, there’s more to my story…the next day, after I picked the little flower…and fruitlessly searched the cupboard again…”

Someone please give this woman a cracker and tell her to shut the fuck up!
Tweeks_Coffee
March 21st, 2008 at 7:36 am [Reply]

GT: No, no, no! That is not self-bashing-Tyler! That’s it, we have to impeach Bolle, this travesty will not stand!
Olz
March 21st, 2008 at 7:38 am [Reply]

I kept reading token ring as Tolkien ring. My subconscious must have been hoping Liz and the strip would disappear.
Justafoob
March 21st, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

jeeez, Liz is e-mailing her friends.

doesn’t she have a facebook page

or a myspace

or a blog

e-mail is so 20th century
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

#296 – Lynn herself said she’s not Techno-savvy – but at least there was no carrier pigeon involved in Liz’s methodology-that would be Mary Worth’s method of communication.
Weaselboy
March 21st, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

#288: I guess this makes us both Pluggers.
beergoggles
March 21st, 2008 at 8:18 am [Reply]

FW: today settles it. Funky hired Wally after the army, brought him into the pizzeria busy and then…

beat him to death for being ‘too lazy’ because he want some therapy time for his post-war stress

the only question is where is the body
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 8:22 am [Reply]

You know, I was a bridesmaid twice – once for my sister, once for my best friend. The experience both times was pleasant, if not downright fun.

So when the time came to ask these two people (plus Mr. Cat’s sister) to be in my wedding, my goal was to make it (at the very least) pleasant for them as well.

Did they like the dress I picked? Probably not, but I made sure it was a color/cut that was at least flattering to all three women (not easy – they ran the size and complexion gamut), and I didn’t pick the most expensive one.

My Aunt threw us a nice luncheon, my sister sprang for mani/pedis for all of us, they only had one shower to attend, and if they hadn’t come, it would have been fine.

I gave them nice bridesmaid gifts, never snapped at them, kept them good and liquored up at the reception, so honestly I hope they enjoyed it. And if they enjoyed it, then that is my way of “paying them back” for the honor of being an attendant at their wedding.

Everyday, I think there’s no way for me to hate Liz more than I do, and then she ups the ante.
Old School Allie Cat
March 21st, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

#299 – All I’m saying is, avoid the “Meat Lovers” pizza.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 21st, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

9CL: Brooke should just drop the respectable pretense of the daily comics biz and do what he loves, drawing women in peril. (Warning: Googling that term is NSFW.)

Archie: I can’t put my finger on it, but today’s Panel 2 reminds me of Herb & Jamaal somehow.

MW: Call me a cynic, but I’m starting to think this flashback isn’t going anywhere.

RMMD: Since the only places you can get MRSA are 1) a hospital or 2) a person who has it (and themselves probably got it in a hospital)… how can they not know where the dead kid got it?
gleeb
March 21st, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

As a bachelor, I find half the ring-ranting here as scary as the Canadian nightmare that is FBoFW. Fer Pete’s sake, it’s just a ring, a bauble, a shiny rock stuck to a metal band. If it means that much to you, marry a carousel.

9CL: When you’ve been bored for months on end by a talking unicorn, everything else seems easy.

A3G: Nobody touches Margo unless she wants them to, see?

Curtis: They met outside a Clinton rally? But it’s only just been established that Gunther is an anti-IRS fringe voter.

Doonesbury: Have they forgotten this is a man with anger problems? Or is this some kind of suicide wish?

Fuzzy: It’s the Cockney cat all over again. Take a funny notion and beat it to death. Then, make a few more strips about it.
alley (not allie) cat
March 21st, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

MW: Well I can see the MW plot coming down the street. There is going to be someone who kindly helped her when she was a destitute child, and Mary will say something about either that person being a role model or Mary feeling compelled to “help others as she was helped.” It’s just a matter of how many weeks it’ll take us to get to the moral of the story.

FOOB: I do not understand the last panel. Who is being paid back? Why does Liz look so creepy with the heavy-lid look? And is this how her parents are going to find out she’s engaged…through April reading off her email? As everyone else has noted, this is the most anticlimactic engagement to ever take place…ever.

The Shawna-Marie touch is just beyond adorable. I wasn’t aware that Liz had ever even met her. I thought Liz had, like, friends of her own. Does she have ANYTHING left of her old world, back when she had a brain and didn’t think of weddings as “payback” and rings as proof of ownership?
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

#302 – OMG Please let it be Niki oh please
Calico
March 21st, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

#304 – The heavy-liddedness is due to the fact that Liz takes massive bong hits at her computer. I hope little kitty doesn’t spill the fetid, stinking water all over Liz’s school papers.

MW – The moral will probably be “If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

(See the FARK MW contest for more references)
Link, again – http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3414228
Tim O'Shenko
March 21st, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Friday Funnies:

GT: This is just wrong. I can understand Bolle failing to draw Kaz correctly (I mean, it clearly wasn’t explained to him that Kaz is an alien visitor from Zargon VII), but Tyler Jay? Come on, he’s identical to another character in the strip, this should be natural for Bolle.

JP: “Aw c’mon, honey. Can’t we just have a nice meal of Magic Mashed Potatoes in peace?”

MW: Yeah, there’s always more to the story. Give us the short version so we can cut back to Dr. Drew in time to see him catch Dengue Fever

MT: Alternate Mark Trail dialog complete with wasted double-entendre: “I’d like Madeline to say hello to my little friend!”

BB: Genuine Beetly Bailey dialog complete with wasted double-entendre: “You can come out now Beetle” “But don’t let us see you”

FOOB: The first time in ages Liz shows any human emotion, and it’s wasted on a thought balloon in an empty room. She didn’t even bother typing out “Dudes”.

RMMD: “An outbreak of Methampheta-Resonant Staff-oil caucus whatsit now? Dammit, stop throwing those doctor-words at me! Can’t you treat this MSDS thing with a little Methicillin or something?”

Phantom: Could this stand-off be any LESS tense?

FW: “I’ve learned the hard way that employees can’t be friends…but don’t worry, I never really liked you anyway”

DtM: Sick and completely unnecessary alternate caption: “You know what they say about a clown with big feet, Joey…”
asdf
March 21st, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Do other women my age (aka Elizabeth’s age) really think like this? If they do, they are keeping really quiet about it. I think the fact that I say I have a boyfriend would be enough for anyone who really cares. Why waste money on junk? Is it because Elizabeth is so insecure? Ew.
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 21st, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

When the dead kid ends up being Niki, remember: Pepperoni Détournées called it.
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Ooops, forget what I just said; Calico at #305 called it first.
Spike
March 21st, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

#304 alley (not allie) cat: You’re an optimist. This is the Worthiverse, and the “story” will drag on for months.
Thursdaynext
March 21st, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

A ring! The link that says “leashed.”
The Naked This Needs Lemon Bandit
March 21st, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

re #247 sorry, typo.. wall clocks.

a ring, the hobble to chain and yow-l that says i’m not that uncommon
Adam
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

I know that some folks like to roleplay, but does Brad’s date really go for the karate gi he’s wearing?
Tempoz
July 7th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

Just thought I’d point out, that, assuming luann is still 16, brad is still 19. I remembered reading one of your posts that was trying to guess his age, and since I’m reading the luann archive and came acrosss this:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2003/8/23&name=Luann
I thought I’d pin it down for you.
Tempoz
July 9th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/9/16&name=Luann
again…. wow. this is just getting eerie. she always applies the makeup while he’s brushing. Does the minty breath figure into to the black-eye scenario somehow? I mean does he… no, actually, I’m done thinking about it. and with the chronology, i’m pretty sure it must.
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