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Burn baby burn

Gil Thorp, 9/17/12

“Let’s put it this way … we only have one bonfire, and it burns forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Constant human sacrifice is necessary to keep the sacred flames alive, but we consider this a small price to pay for its numinous protection. Surely your own Druid ancestors would approve! Oh, yeah, and, like, we get all jazzed up about football too, I guess. But mostly we’re into the searing fire of divine grace.”

Slylock Fox, 9/17/12

Oh, Slylock! Your fancy science knowledge might explain why those balloons popped, but elementary physics will never help you understand why this innocent birthday party for children so quickly turned into a scene of vicious adult accusations and recriminations.

Marmaduke, 9/17/12

Marmaduke has finally succeeded in digging a hole back to the hell-dimension from which he was long ago exiled, and now he plans to climb down a ladder he stole from a fireman he ate and reclaim his awful kingdom.

Ziggy, 9/17/12

The mice who live in Ziggy’s walls are really into whip-its, but tonight things have gotten out of hand.

Wizard of Id, 9/17/12

Sir Rodney’s date caught a venereal disease from a frog.

255 responses to “Burn baby burn”

  1. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    JP: So I guess Avery and Bea will figure out a solution to this problem while Sam sits back, staring into his coffee cup and musing handsomely.

    Baldo: Is Tia Carmen so poor that she has to visit this bank teller—who is clearly not happy to see Tia Carmen again—to get money to buy her pills? Or is she so addled that she doesn’t know the difference between a bank teller and pharmacist?

    Most disturbingly, I imagine that either of these could be attempts at humor in this strip.

    FC: No, Dolly, capitalism is the market system in which, through the laws of supply and demand, the best products will inevitably succeed. Take newspaper comics, for example: according to the law of capitalism, the funniest, cleverest, and most original comics should dominate the comics pages, so—

    Okay, your definition works just as well.

    CdS: Today is September 17. In one week, this brilliant strip will end. Excuse me; I have to go be sad now.

  2. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”A bonfire? In Ireland we are so passionate that we’ll burn the entire town down.”

  3. Leifr
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Since skunks are indigenous to the Americas, we must assume that Hagar and lucky must be in Vinland. Watch out for the skraelings.

  4. S.Stout
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Gil:Oakwood isn’t the school they’re playing, it’s the forest they’re burning down.

  5. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    GT: Live from the Middle East….

    A3G: Margo only approves of plans for Margo.

    Archie: Mr. Weatherby, today, is being directed by Chuck Jones.

    FW: Here’s your chance, Cayla! RUN!!!

    Glibporn: Oh, let me guess — A pun based on some fancy word nobody uses? More faerie abuse porn? Genie abuse porn?

    MW: Don’t look now, but I think his now-nonexistant left arm is in silhouette in panel two! Freaky. (you suppose Mary….? Nah! ….um…..)

    PBS: No no no — a mouse is supposed to throw a brick at a cat! Study the history of your medium, you guys!

  6. Little Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    GT: Has the underground rap store from Curtis’ neighborhood moved to Milford?

  7. Marc
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Both The Houston Chronicle and Seattle PI are showing Saturday’s strips for Mark Trail and Mary Worth, so I have no idea what the next exciting plot developments are. Rusty is giving away his hiding spot by yelling at the dog and Dawn is trying to pick up the one armed guy who is obviously terrified of her.

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: not to call too much attention to my first COTW glory days, but I do appreciate how this year Whigham shows us how much smoke and noxious fumes the bonfire emits. Breathe it in, young athletes about to take part in vigorous physical activity!

  9. wossname
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    JP – Donnie the Singing Deer™ (cousin of Billy the Singing Bass™) looks suitably shocked at the idea of Bubba being a nice guy.

    MT – If Sassy keeps growing at the rate she’s going in these three panels, she’ll be the size of an elephant by tomorrow and can stomp the bad guys into oblivion.

    RMMD – Um, Woody Wilson? Have you ever been on a plane? Because you really can’t smell the outside air.

    Baldo – At what kind of a bank do you apply for a loan from the teller?

    C&B – Did we know that Cow and Boy was being canceled? If you like it, go to his site and check out his new scheme for keeping it alive. Me, I’ll pay a dollar a month. ‘Scuse me if this has already been covered here.

    @Mr. O’Malley (#Y223):

    I could see Avery being into a retro hobby like film photography, so the plot could really work with that.

    I could too, but we’ve already seen Bea look at the pictures in the camera (remember when Avery told her the pot field was a studio backlot?) so we know it’s digital.

  10. Elk Meadow
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Which is going to end first? CdS or Sally Forth’s marriage?

  11. sporknpork
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke didn’t just dig a grave. He constructed a catacomb!

  12. pugfuggly
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    GT ‘We only have one bonfire’ seems like less of an answer than a bizarre non-sequitur. ‘Is this game a big deal?” “There’s something burning, isn’t there?”

    Ziggy Poor Zig is thinking to himself “Why do I even engage with these rodents? Wasn’t I going to call an exterminator at some point?”

    WoI Jeez, princess. Out with a frog one night, and a tapir the next? You’re lucky you haven’t caught something more serious that warts…

  13. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    In today’s depressing news, Cow and Boy is being cancelled as of December 31.

    In today’s encouraging news, Tommie Thompson has discovered how to have one’s hair re-styled in mid-conversation. If Tommie, of all people, can make such a discovery, then there is hope for us all.

  14. Dennis Jimenez
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    GT – Um, some Lybian embassy thing???

    SFx – Brad “And you’ve got a little dick!” Slylock – “Bullshit – it’s this long!!!”

    Marm – A good start on a bunker, ‘dolf….

    Zig – Fucking mice – destroying the ozone….

    WoI – It’s merely a herpie – of course it’s a genital herpie, but still a herpie none the less – and the less said about my anal warts, why, the better….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  15. lorne
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Slylock is just applying standard police methodology. When you arrive on the scene, apply some rudimentary racial profiling (Wolf=Big Bad) and then conform the available evidence to your initial impressions.
    Since Storks are not Big and Bad, the Stork boy could not have popped the balloons. It must have been the heat of the sun. Science!
    But while we’re here, we might as well run those Wolves downtown and check them against outstanding warrants. They must have done something wrong, since Wolves are Big and Bad.

  16. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Slylock: The sun caused ALL the balloons to pop? Every single one? They were all sufficiently overinflated so that the expansion from the rising temperature caused them to pop?

    Sounds a little too convenient for me. The fox is running interference for that stork, or is covering his own guilty ass. After all, those shiftless vicious WOLVES! deserved it.

  17. Hibbleton
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    GT: The transition from a medieval to renaissance style was not always a smooth one as this disembodied hand drawn in one-point perspective illustrates.

  18. Marc
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    9CL- Forget about the idiocy of whatever was supposed to be happening today, I need to harken back to Saturday for a second. So Big Gay Seth uses their engagement as an opportunity to simultaneously make out with both Edda and Amos, and nobody even bats an eye and are all totally fine with it? I’m also pretty sure Seth is a sexual predator. He seems to fit that bill pretty well with all of his past behaviors.

    A3G- Looks like Tommie had to adjust her hair helmet between panels becaus it was definitely not sitting quite right in panel one.

    Funky- Les is a self centered douche; you’re just realizing this now Fishface?

    Family Cirucs- I see we’re continuing our run of Dolly is insufferable strips. And I thought Jeffy was dumb.

  19. Oregonian
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    “So this first game is what you yanks call a big deal, then?”
    “Nah, we just want to burn some stuff and stick it to the Man. That’s why I’m wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.”

  20. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Coach Thorp didn’t start the fire
    It was always burning
    Since the Bucket’s been earning
    Coach Thorp didn’t start the fire
    No, he didn’t light it
    Marty Moon never tried to fight it

  21. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke-The hole is deeper than Marmaduke’s love for you.

  22. Droopy Says
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (y#232): WaPo & Seattle PI are both showing Saturday’s comics today.


    Try clicking on the magnifying glass icon. That usually brings up today’s comic.

  23. Optimus Prime Rib
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Slylock is just covering for Max who obviously popped all the balloons by focusing the sun’s heat on to them. Look, he is still finishing one off now!

  24. Pozzo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    From what I can see from that one sign, the fire has been burning since the year 1002 (which they called MII back in those days).

  25. Dennis Jimenez
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Optimus Prime Rib (#23): Max is using massive quantities of aerosol cheese, degrading the earth’s protective ozone layer resulting in the unusually high concentration of temperture on the balloons and there consequent explosions. Fucking mice – Fucking anti-environment, coal burning, huge carbon foot print mice….

  26. Dennis Jimenez
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#20): Marty Moon Gail Martinette this shitty strip ain’t over yet (chorus)

  27. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    MW: This my-shipwreck-was-worse-than-yours competition is about as pathetic as the Spiderman vs. Clown-9 battle. Enough already!

  28. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#9): “Cow and Boy” cancelled! Outrageous!

    I, Nehemiah Scudder, your beloved theocratic dictator and First Prophet, hereby order everyone to go to and give Mark all the support you can. Do it now!

  29. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Sly: My first thought was that Max Mouse burned holes in the balloons with his magnifying glass. My next thought was that Sly can come up with multiple possible scenarios, but the wolf-boy and wolf-dad were eye witnesses to stork-boy viciously popping the balloons out of frustration, rage and spite. Now we’re just into he-said-she-said, and I’m ashamed of Sly for his non-unity with the mammalian faction in this strip.

    And if the sun were so hot that it explodes balloons all over the Earth, how can Sly stand there with his hat, cape and suit and not even sweat?

  30. TheDiva
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    GT: Great way to make the new kid feel welcome, by goading him with unflattering stereotypes about his culture. Nice.

    SFx: If I went to a birthday party and the only available food was one lump of cake with a fork sticking forlornly out of it, I might pop some balloons myself.

  31. Morndew
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    CdS-My kids and I mourn. We have all the books, but it could never be enough.

    Rex-Are we STILL talking about that bathing suit? Hey! You can’t put the suit on until someone gives you a pool! Don’t worry. That shouldn’t take too long.

  32. Downpuppy
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#22): They updated them around 9. Wherein we discover:

    Monty: Fleshy the Cat sees ethanol molecules in the sky. Not captioned – I think he snuck this past the editors.

    In A3G, they used a standin for Tommie in the first panel.

  33. UncleJeff
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Sad news about Cow & Boy.
    I could do without the “cat copter” crap but it was an often funny but best of all “original” strip.
    I’m surprised that my dead tree paper (St. Paul Pioneer Press) carried C&B and Lio given their overall conservative don’t-rile-the-old-folks bent.
    Maybe they’ll change the position that Zippy has on the fold and enlarge it so it’s more legible (I doubt it).
    It’s sad that original viewpoint strips like C&B are not finding favor amongst publishers while worn-out strips like Beetle and WOI continue on-and-on-and-on and papers print garbage like The Duplex and Reply All.

  34. Mibbitmaker
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    New PCK is up!

    Michelle makes it edge-y (as it were)….

  35. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Again, this is a situation where Sly should be prosecuting the corporate polluters for exacerbating global warming instead of visiting a boy who just had his birthday party ruined and berating him on his lack of scientific pedigree.

    You know who would really lift wolf-boy’s spirits? Clown-9. That guy is full of balloony tricks. Yay, Clowny!

  36. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Beetle looks like the cat that swallowed a football.

    Cow and Boy is in imminent danger and will be cancelled at the end of the year. Go to to see the cartoonist’s thoughts on how you can help. I’m not the first to mention this, but the more it gets repeated, in my opinion, the better.

  37. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#26): Very nice :-)

  38. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Wiz of Idiocy: Dude, you didn’t see the warts before you asked to kiss her?

  39. Digger
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Poor Big Brad. Despite his failure to keep up with child support payments, his ex allowed him to host a birthday party for their son. Then some punk-ass stork ruins the party, and to top it off a nosy flatfoot uses scientific gobbledygook to explain it all away. I think there might be a wolf attack on the stork’s nest tonight.

  40. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Fred – Ha ha! He LIKES SAUSAGES!!!!!!!!!

    Henry wants to be an egghead.

  41. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Sorry Shylock, but if you have a bunch of balloons in the same room as a stork, you can just about 100% expect them to pop. Did you happen to see the beak on that kid??? He pops balloons from five feet away just by turning his head! Talk about a bull in a bottle shop! Oh wait, you solved that on last year, didn’t you? I think you pinned the shattered glassware on Reeky Rat.

  42. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#24): I think that actually says MI-6, as the Brits are in Milford looking for an IRA Provo.

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Mark – Sassy finally learns to talk, and what does she say? “The kid will come back for his dog!” I think “Set me free and I will grant you three wishes!” had a better chance.

    Mary – Jim’s distraught because whenever he tries to bury his face in his hands, he slides off and hits the table.

    And Dawn? Dawn’s about to tell him it’s always in the last place you look.

  44. TheDiva
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    9CL: Well, this is shaping up to be a solid union built on common sense and communication right off the bat, isn’t it?

    A3G: Margo doesn’t approve of plans?

    C’shaft: Leave it to Batiuk to take a practice designed around thrift and reducing waste and turn it into an exercise in causing grief for others.

    FW: Les and Cayla are getting married when, December? They should at least have the major vendors reserved by now (ie. reception venue, caterer, photographer). Unless they’re just planning on a quick visit to the JP and Montoni’s afterwards. (What am I saying, this is Les we’re talking about. That’s exactly what will happen.)

    MW: Not only do Jim and Dawn have traumatic experiences in their lives, said experiences both occurred on the water! It’s a match made in Heaven!

    SM: Well, that’s it, Spider-Man has officially been defeated by the lamest villain ever. Should have seen it coming, really.

  45. cheech wizard
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Nice shout-out to Robert McCloskey’s “Homer Price” in Cul de Sac today. The mysterious gentleman in the story “Pie, Punch and You-Know-Whats” couldn’t stand donuts because “they’re just full of holes!” And as the infernal song puts on the jukebox goes

    “In a whole doughnut
    There’s a nice whole hole
    When you take a big bite,
    Hold the whole hole tight,
    If a little bit bitten
    Or a great bit bitten,
    Any whole hole with a hole bitten in it,
    Is a holey whole hole,
    And it just plain isn’t!”

  46. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Rx – “We’re about to land in downtown Los Angeles! Look up at the tall buildings!” Anybody else getting a creepy 9/11 vibe from this strip?

    Mary – Now Jim’s trying to get away from Dawn by turning invisible. It works, too. “Jim? Jim, where did you go? Darn it, this isn’t funny, Jim!”

  47. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#45): I bought a used VHS with an adaptation of that. It’s kind of slow, because they were so respectful of the source material, they just shot all the dialog exactly as it was written, and it’s disappointingly lifeless. On the other hand, the doughnut machine they use is a dead ringer for the one I used to stand and watch at Steele’s in the early 60s. A nozzle poits a little ring of dough out into a circular trough of hot grease, and it’s gently floated along until it gets flipped over, then it gets to the other side and it’s sent down a chute, ready to cool off a tad bit and be eaten. Or put into a bag and sold. I remember seeing it a couple of times, and all the other times we’d have come on the wrong day or at the wrong hour or something. Make it go. I want to see it make doughnuts!!

  48. Jeffster
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    So the current Rex Morgan plot comes down to June buys a bikini and Rex gets a boner. Oh and some crap about an old woman..blah…blah.. apartment…blah… slackers…rent… whatever.

  49. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: So you don’t want to mention your plans in front of Margo? Fine. But didn’t she just leave? And if she hasn’t left, saying so in front of her, refering to her in the third person, isn’t going to please her much either.

    Hi&Lois: Look, let’s be charitible here. Let’s pretend they are not doing some sort of insulting “Women, amirite?” kind of joke denigrating all females. Let’s pretend they are just denigrating Lois.

    MW: Dawn still hasn’t figured out how to open her milk carton.

  50. cheech wizard
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#47): There actually was such a machine? I always thought it was a product of McCloskey’s highly fertile imagination. Very cool.

    I always think of Homer Price when I read or hear something about modular homes – remember the story about all the factory-built houses that looked exactly alike, only people couldn’t find their way home because the street signs hadn’t been put up yet?

  51. Ned Ryerson
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    RMMD: They can smell the beach from the plane? Wow. The beach in San Diego must be pretty funky. (Of course, San Diego is Spanish for “a whale’s vagina”.) I don’t think Rex is gonna see June in that bikini. Their plane is about to plow into downtown. Oh, well. Widdle Sarah will can move in with Niki or Mr. Toots or somebody. She’s probably well on her way to financial independence. She’s learned to write novels (or screenplays disguised as novels) from reading that Foster Brooks thing.

    Pibgorn: Is that supposed to be the Djinn of It, or the Djinn of IT (“eye tee”)? I guess that could be kind of funny having a mythical figure with mystical powers come and swap out your monitor. Or the djinns could be destructive spirits that come and delete all your files, thus becoming the bane of IT. (Although the poor user has to listen to the IT guy get all condescending about how it’s their fault that the file allocation table got all fouled up while the djinn snickers to himself in his shroud of mist.) Wait, one last option: the Djinn was hired by IT to take the place of the ineffective web filter software on the corporate LAN. The all seeing djinn could detect anyone goofing around at work on their PC, sneak up behind them and

  52. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    BB: Considering Beetle already spends a lot of time with Buxley, and never fails to fall asleep, is he happy that he’s going to sleep while she drives around town making a liquor run for the general?

  53. Cloudbuster
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Another vote to support Cow and Boy!

  54. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: Seth likes to watch them jack & jill. . . .

    GF: I giggled.

    Lockhorns: way to stay current. . . .

    snark is scarce today. :-[

  55. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Wiz of Id (summarized):
    “May I kiss you?”
    “Oh wait, you’re an ugly slut.”

    Mountains suddenly appear on the horizon.

    The end. Laugh now.

  56. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . when stalking works.

  57. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#55):
    In and around the lake
    Mountains come out of the sky
    and they Stand there

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in Marmaduke.

    works for Sam Driver. (and is a given in DT)

    for the Didactic Duo.

    Harley Quinn cosplay. Baka Gaijin is conflicted. (sfw)

    otter haz a happy.

    are you ready for some football?

    ikkle corgsqui.

  59. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    MW: I thought the point of a “phantom limb” was that it was invisible.

    But this does just keep getting better and better, doesn’t it? Within a couple hours of your shipwreck, Dawn, you were eating paninis and fondly recalling the hard thighs of Signor Resculini. Within a couple hours of his shipwreck, Jim was screaming and writhing in pain, flailing his bloody stump, unable to recall anything because of his agony. So, yeah, you two have a great deal in common.

  60. geekwhisperer
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    ziggy Is that a String Cheese Incident joke? As in the psychedelic jam band from Colorado? Does that mean the rodents are all in there tripping on acid?

    sfx Am I the only one who see’s Slylock giving a fascist salute here? Slylock as a believer in strict eugenics would explain a lot about this strip.

    mw Two young people both survivors of nautical disasters meet in a hospital cafeteria and discuss their experiences. Jim is cursed with the reoccurring loss of his arm and Dawn with the inescapable vision of her father humping the rescue swimmer while being hoisted into the helo. May God have mercy on them both.

  61. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#58): Poor semicolon: so misused and abused.

  62. tb4000
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Call me a pragmatist if you must, but why don’t the wolves just eat the storks?

  63. Crankenstank
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    I think the scale of today’s mouse relative to the Zigster firmly resolves what we have suspected for a long time: Ziggy is in fact, a disgraced and exiled Hobbit. Because, even Hobbits wear pants, and they have their standards.

  64. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#y199):

    ““There’s eleven of ‘em — one for every day of the week.” ”

    I know about Zeepsday, but what are the other three I’m missing?

    (On second thought, don’t tell me, they’ll probably turn out to be more work days.)

  65. catondan
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    RM-Hasn’t Rex ever seen his wife naked? Shouldn’t seeing her in a bathing suit be sort of anti-climactic? Or has marriage changed these days?

  66. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y211):

    “Not that I’d wish Rusty on any cat. But there probably aren’t any cats in the clip art collection anyway.”

    But there should be a parrot in Elrod’s collection — I’m fondly recalling the parrot from a few years back who commented on the plot: “Awwwkk — foolish.” And a parrot could have flown away, again leaving Rusty free to escape.

    // Though if I were Rusty’s parrot in this plot, I think I’d just circle up out of grabbing range, sqwacking “Awwwkkk — foolish” over and over.

  67. Walker of Dog
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    FC: Why did Ayn Rand decide not to have children? Stupid crap like this.

    RMMD: Rex is looking forward to ‘seeing’ June’s swimsuit. He will totally stretch it out.

    MW: Dawn: “I’m sorry, Jim! Geez, if it’s that big a deal, I’ll watch it on YouTube.”

    AS-M: Clown-9 must have seen one of Spider-Man’s new business cards:
    “The Amazing Spider-Man
    (Available for Children’s Parties – HDTV required)”

  68. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    FW: Yes, of course it just only now occurred to him. It’s because Fucking Les only gives a shit about Les.

  69. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#66): I think a drunken lorikeet or two could offer valuable plot commentary.

  70. Señor Tortilla
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    MT – “Neat ventriloquism, huh?”

    Luann – Evans is giving up?

    Marmaduke – He’s going to knock Phil in with that ladder and bury him alive (then eat him later)

  71. Ian Beste
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#57): That’s a Roundabout style of commenting.

  72. Old School Allie Cat
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    9CL – Say what you will, but picking your china pattern is a big deal. I’m sensing that Edda is probably a Wedgwood English Lace girl, but Amos probably wants Corelle Cornflower. My advice – register for a deviled egg plate – you won’t regret it.

    MW – Yes, yes, I’m sure that was terrible. Life is brutal. Say, do you like sandwiches? Me too!

  73. Esther Blodgett
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    FW: Yes, yes, Les is a self-centered jerk who thinks a wedding will just put itself together. But Mother of God, look at Panel 1. Who would say that? WHO, GODAMMIT?

  74. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#46) said: “Rx – ‘We’re about to land in downtown Los Angeles! Look up at the tall buildings!’ Anybody else getting a creepy 9/11 vibe from this strip?”

    That’s actually a fairly accurate portrayal of the approach to San Diego’s Lindbergh Field in the RMMD panel. San Diego is unique among major U.S. cities in having an airport located next to downtown. The approach requires the pilot to fly down a hill between skyscrapers, clearing buildings at the bottom by just a couple of hundred feet. One developer built a controversial multistory parking structure just off the end of the runway. As it was nearing completion, he was standing on the top level admiring his handiwork, when a pilot of a passing plane gave him the finger. Ultimately, I believe he had to tear off a couple of stories. You can see the source of the RMMD artwork here.

  75. Poteet
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#73): Maybe Les somehow summoned up enough insight to realize that any woman stupid enough to marry him probably needs to have everything explained to her, step by step.

  76. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#29):

    “And if the sun were so hot that it explodes balloons all over the Earth, how can Sly stand there with his hat, cape and suit and not even sweat?”

    Do YOU want to see that in your Monday morning comic page, as you hunker over breakfast and face a bleak new week or work? Let’s be thankful for small mercies — like “no Monday morning fox sweat!”

    Meanwhile, Shylock hauls the sun off to the downtown police station and plans to beat a confession out of it. “So, Big Sol, you thought this was the perfect crime… well, I hate to burst your balloons, but. . .”

  77. Sequitur
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Cow and Boy is headed for the cancelled pile?

    Why? This strip has everything. It has a cow. It has a boy. It has a cow and a boy! It is one comic strip bargain!


  78. Poteet
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#44): Good observation re 9CL. I do take pleasure from seeing the two of them suffering. Not nearly enough and for a stupid reason, but still.

  79. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#55):

    “Mountains suddenly appear on the horizon.”

    First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.

    Cast away the outer skin to find the butterfly within.

    // This has been a test of the Emergency Donovan System. This is only a test. Had it been a real Donovan Alert, you’d be smoking electrical bananas by now.

  80. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    WIZARD OF ID: Besides, isn’t it (supposedly) toads that give one warts, not frogs?

  81. Mary Worthless
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Dawn, go away I’m no good for you.

    I have nothing left.

  82. Austria
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    BB: Beetle watched a nature documentary on chipmunks, and now he’s trying to imitate one. With a watermelon.

    FW: So what ever happened to Becky and Mrs. Becky, anyway? I’d much rather read about Llama Hat finding her dead body in the back of Alley Con.

    Luann: Old Luann has a poster of “Tiffany” on her wall? Let the hatesex jokes begin in 3…2…1…

    MT: One of the many consistencies in this strip…”Sassy in danger” is always funny.

  83. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    FW- Seriously, Cayla? That just occurred to you?

    When he proposed to you on the same park bench where Lisa found her lump, it didn’t occur to you then?

    When he decides to use the same justice of the peace and the same courthouse where he married Lisa, will you be shocked then?

    When he decides to have you wear the same wedding dress as Lisa wore, will you be shocked then?

    When he asks you, on the wedding night, to wear a Lisa mask and say key phrases that Lisa used to say during sex (ex. “Les, i’m over here, you are fucking the cat”, “Les, that is your hand, not my vagina. Yes, I know that you know that, that is the whole problem.”), will you be shocked then?

    A year ago, I would conclude with “Run, Cayla, run away. Use this rare moment when the drugs are wearing off and reality is re-emerging to flee for your life.” But at this point, she deserves what is coming to her.

  84. odinthor
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Leifr (#3):

    [sniffle.] At last, my life has reached its pinnacle. I didn’t have to look up what a skraeling was. My parents would have been so proud. [dabs at eyes.]

    MW. — What happened to Jim’s panel one sandwich? Jim, buddy, if you’re using it to take the place of your missing hand in that theatrical “bury my face in my hand[s]” gesture, you’re just going to look silly when the pickle slides out and lands in your lap. On the other hand . . . um, so to speak . . . when it does slide out and land on your lap, a suave “Hey, babe—how ‘bout a pickle? [wink!]” might liven up things.

  85. The Ridger
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I’ve never been sure if we’re supposed to admire Curtis for his “no matter how many times you say you’re not my girlfriend, you are” attitude or not. But why the hell does he pursue if he thinks she’s a bimbo?

  86. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL -So if they are not going to fuck, then the time between now and the wedding will require them to fall back on the other commonalities that keep their relationship going. Such as….. ummm ….

    Well, they both love Edda and feel that the sun rises and sets for her alone.
    And they both like to play prepared piano ping pong.

    I’m sure that will get them through the first few hours of waiting.

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#82): re Luann: Tiffany.

  88. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Ca-mon, it’s so obvious that Spidey is going to reach up and reveal Clown-9′s secret identity, in about 3 months.

    JP: Street smarts: Sam and Avery haz it.

  89. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#84):

    ” I didn’t have to look up what a skraeling was.”

    Well, sure, Skraeling is what you do on your computer when you don’t have time to carefully read all of the CC entries, just skim them.

  90. Little Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I know I said I was done with this strip….. but I had to look again, only to give a heads-up to CC:

    This strip will be hilarious for the next week, maybe two weeks. Guaranteed.

  91. rumpled tulip
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Even in first class, you’re not going to be smelling the sea air as you come in for a landing. All you’ll be smelling is your fellow passengers’ gaseous emissions, recycled endlessly through the ventilation system.

  92. The Ridger
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    JP: Let me guess. Bubba was being a nice guy because all he did was steal the camera. Instead of what any normal, non-DT villain (seriously? WTF is up with that “plan” to kill Sam?) would have done, which is shoot Sam and Avery and bury them in the pot field.

  93. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s strip, today!

    MW— Jim and Dawn decide to go for drinks and dinner to commiserate over their nautical misfortunes, but the restaurant collapses into the sea. For them, the Bum Boat was a bad choice.

  94. The Elf
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    It’s my understanding from parents of small kids these days that pretty much any event devolves into parental accusations. Somehow, raising kids became a competitive sport and there are parents who will WIN at any cost. Big Brad likely popped those balloons himself, to make Sara Stork’s son less popular at school. It doesn’t help that Sara Stork’s son really IS a sore loser, and Sara doesn’t want to admit it. Her precious snowflake would never be anything other a perfect angel.

  95. Calico
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Baldo – Oh, God, Tia Carmen, I dread the day…

  96. The Elf
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#29): Being part of canidae, wouldn’t a fox pant instead of sweat? ….Wow, that’s a particularly horrible mental image.

  97. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#30): re SlyF: Okay, there’s only one piece of cake. But since this is a party thrown by Big Brad Wolf (love the name!), you’ll be able to gorge yourself on a nice elk carcass.

  98. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#50): The machine illustrated in the book has a good resemblance to the one Steele’s used to have. I see the circular trough, and the flipper, and the output tray. I don’t remember a batter tank like the one shown, but as a kid, I wouldn’t have been looking up there anyway — just at the pieces that moved, and with an emphasis on where the doughnuts were. (Oh, where’s my brain been? Of course somebody has already put it on line. First glimpse of the machine seems to be about two minutes in. It gets going around 8:50. Part 1 of 3.)

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#64): [Hobbit voice] Doesn’t he know about Second Friday? [/]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#74): I figured somebody would tell me it was really like that, but it reminded me strongly of Jimmy Walker Field in NYC (from Zany Afternoons by Bruce McCall. More here, less McCall’s indispensable descriptions.).

    @The Ridger (#92): WTF is up with that “plan” to kill Sam?
    Bubba made the mistake you never, ever make in his line of work. He fell in love. Now instead of just shooting Sam, or breaking his back over his leg (like This!), he’ll just bother him with de-scented skunks and pratfalls and small embarrassments. In other words, they’ve become Rock Hudson and Doris Day. [*]

  99. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): McCloskey art: The doughnut machine (crummy repro), Homer working on a radio.

    I included the second one because I saw it in the Google image search, and wanted to brag that I saw the original of it in an exhibit of children’s book art at the Chrysler Museum some years ago. It looked way better than the version in my book club paperback — the hardcover reprint Barnes & Noble came out with a while back is pretty decent (and has some Grandpa Hercules stories I never read).

  100. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#76): Perhaps foxes, like dogs, do not sweat?

    // Yes, I know, dogs sweat through their pads, but very little, and it is not a significant way of reducing heat from what I’ve read.

  101. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): Or perhaps Rock Hudson and Paula Prentiss.

  102. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#33): no kidding to all of that. I’m wondering if the papers are angling for a time that the funny page is a bunch of legacy strips that cost virtually nothing to run.

    @Ned Ryerson (#51): I’m wondering if this new Pib story is going to be a repeat…or like the last one, was “the director’s cut.”

  103. Calico
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    SlyFox – so I see helicopter parenting is alive and well.

    MW – Here, we dredge up the horrible Staten Island Ferry accident, which was by all accounts awful.
    These two are going to marry and move to the desert soon.

    Hagar – it’s Conrad’s cousin!

    MT – Sassy clip-art set! As seen on TV. Free with every purchase of a Doc Trail Chia Pet ™.

    H&L – GFCI 101.

    Beetle – Sarge is jealous, and Beetle puts on his FC face.

  104. kkarenb
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    A3G – The story this week: Tommie wears a different wig in every panel.

    9CL – Yes, it’s traditional for the bride-to-be to give the groom-to-be a wedgie right after he proposes.

    Mutts – The coloring in this one was really nice.

  105. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#85): He is using the word “bimbo” in the Pickwickian sense.

  106. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#90): Luann: I know I said I was done with this strip….. but I had to look again, only to give a heads-up to CC: This strip will be hilarious for the next week, maybe two weeks. Guaranteed.

    You have a time machine, maybe? We all appreciate the info on Luann, but did you happen to notice any Wall Street stock prices, or scores from major sporting events, when you were skimming future newspapers?

  107. Marc
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth- “I’m sorry Jim. If it makes you feel any better, my feet got wet during my nautical accident. Life is brutal.”

    Mark Trail- What exactly is that old poacher fellow holding sassy up by?

  108. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @The Elf (#96): Oh, Canidae! You beat me to it1

  109. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#97): @TheDiva (#30): re SlyF: Okay, there’s only one piece of cake. But since this is a party thrown by Big Brad Wolf (love the name!), you’ll be able to gorge yourself on a nice elk carcass.

    Is it lunch time already? I can’t remember the last time I gorged myself on a nice elk carcass.

    // I kind of felt bad about the last time. They’re so benevolent, and protective, and orderly.

  110. Calico
    September 17th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#107):
    This has happened to Sassy before. Same art, same problem.
    Considering she is made of Pillsbury Cookie Dough, I don’t have an answer for you.

  111. Dood
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “We only have one bonfire! It’s been burning since 1897!”

  112. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday when the Luann cast was deciding what sort of animal they would like to be, Greg Evans decided he wants to be a sloth.

  113. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#66): Don’t you guys remember the old story about smuggled priceless Indian artifacts on a yacht? The worker on the boat who turncoated and joined with Mark against his own boss had a cat…

    Actually, the depictions of the cat in that story were so off that, well, I guess there still isn’t any clipart of cats for Elrod to use. I think those were derivations of deformed fishers or something.

  114. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#102): I’m wondering if the papers are angling for a time that the funny page is a bunch of legacy strips that cost virtually nothing to run.

    If they are going to do that, I wish they’d use some good ones. Pogo? Rip Kirby? Steve Canyon? Casey Ruggles?

  115. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    It happened so gradually I didn’t notice when Spiderman turned into softcore gay porn.

  116. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#85):

    I’ve always found that creepy. It makes Curtis out to be a stalker.

  117. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Isn’t that sweet. Lu Ann needs to get Margo’s permission to do anything.

    RMMD-Does San Diego have skyscrapers? That last panel just looks wrong to me.

  118. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#114):

    I seem to recall that they tried to run a legacy version of Pogo for a while in the late 80s or early 90s. It was a cheerful glurge-fest with none of the edge or skill with dialect that Walt Kelly used to bring, and was actually subjected to a mercy-killing after a few years.

  119. tallyHO
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#115):


    Now I am so glad I began boycotting it back when Spidey took down the elephant and just stood there pondering something while Clown-0 snuck up behind him with a novelty chew toy bomb, or something.

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#118): I seem to recall that they tried to run a legacy version of Pogo for a while…

    I remember it. It WAS wretched.

  121. Hibbleton
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100):
    // Yes, I know, dogs sweat through their pads, but very little, and it is not a significant way of reducing heat from what I’ve read.

    I believe it’s a panic flight response to increase friction between the paw and the ground.

  122. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Max makes a shocking discovery about the balloons that Slylock missed. Those aren’t actually balloons. Those are really condoms.

  123. HAnzMFG
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    How a human could acquire HPV orally from a frog is a bizarre medical anomaly, but I still want to know why Sir Rodney always wears a garbage can on his back.

  124. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 17th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    GT: Top Dollar kicks off Milford’s annual Devil’s Night celebration. ARE WE HAVING FUN OR WHAT?

    MT: Here Elrod(‘s lone, paid-in-Schlitz intern) has photoshopped Sassy into a picture of a guy holding up a bowling ball.

    MW: “My God, can you imagine being maimed in an accident with a pansy-ass name like ‘Tott’s Island Ferry’? The humiliation!”

    Better Half: Why it’s Pizza the Hutt from Spaceballs! Long time, man!

    9CL: Edda’s got her legs spread and her hand is reaching towards her crotch, which overall seems pretty straightforward. I don’t know what Amos thinks he’s doing and I’m not going to ask.

    JP: Thank you, Sam. We never would have filled in that piece.

    RMMD: Wha? If you can smell the ocean while you’re still on the plane, it’s time to say hi to the fishies and make peace with your Creator.

    H&L: It must be loads of fun when Lois shows prospective buyers around a house. “And here in the basement you have the fuse box. Steer clear of it IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!”

    DT: “I saw this method in a James Bond movie or an episode of Batman or something. Anyway I didn’t stick around for the end, but the guy seemed to know what he was doing.”

    DtM: “Pulled out just in time, too.”

    H&J: Yolanda is offering him Herb’s nuts. How did she know?

    Marvin: Jeff sees himself with a superhero’s body, a superhero costume, and the same comb over he always has. My delusional fantasies are a little more thorough.

    Pluggers: To be a true Plugger you must always advertise your infirmities to the world.

  125. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#103):

    Beetle – Sarge is jealous, and Beetle puts on his FC face.

    He looks like he’s hiding a whole ear of corn sideways in his mouth.

  126. Callidus
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    SM: In panel 2 it looks like Clown-9 is about to pee on Spiderman. No doubt it will come out like seltzer.

  127. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: In honor of the re-establishing of marriage talk between Les and Cayla, I figured a refresher was in order:

    The Ten Commandments of the Goddess Lisa:

    1. I am Lisa, thy Goddess. You shall have no other Goddess in my presence (unless my Holy Ghost givest thou the divine Thumbs Up)

    2. Thou shalt make images, banners, best-selling non-fiction works, and other likenesses in my honor.

    3. Do not swear falsely against my word, lest I not save your ass next time by getting the flight cancelled.

    4. Remember Lisa’s Legacy Run and keep it holy

    5. Honor thy Les and his Daughter, for they are my most Specialest Snowflakes

    6. Do not kill, for Masky McDeath is on strike and the bodies are already piling up

    7. Do not commit Adultery, unless thou hast the thumbs up re: Commandment 1

    8. Do not steal the proceeds of Lisa’s Legacy Run, lest ye be condemned to work at Montoni’s for all eternity.

    9. Thou must deposit thine image of Lisa Her Most High Worshipfullness on top of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

    10. Do not covet thy neighbor’s wife (nor her Ass), unless you sell comic books for a living and the husband is presumed KIA, in which case, tap that thang!

  128. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#82):

    Luann: Old Luann has a poster of “Tiffany” on her wall? Let the hatesex jokes begin in 3…2…1…

    I hadn’t even noticed that, so distracted was I by Evans seeming to admit that his heroine took 24 years to get through middle and high school.

  129. Walker of Dog
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#124): Show some respect, Dawn. Anyone who spent time on Totts Island and survived deserves our deepest sympathies.
    So many melonheads…

  130. bunivasal
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    You know, Slylock tends to prefer non-mammals to mammals, and herbivores to carnivores. Is that… profiling?

  131. Little Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

  132. HAnzMFG
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: I think we’re getting a little deeper into Mr. Wilson’s neuroses surrounding Dennis. Long lost child who drove him insane, and the child was never seen again? This strip has gotten dark over the years.

    Pibgorn: Something wicked this way comes, out of a coke can… and WITH NIPPLE RINGS!!

    Amazing Spider-Man: “And to the victor–goes the spoiled!” Is that supposed to be some half-baked pun or something? Because we all know Clown-9′s name is based on some awful vague wordplay, but they don’t even give any context this time!

  133. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#127):

    Those look very familiar. In fact, they are the same commandments I handed down the last time you visited me, while I was getting my penicillin shot for that little burning bush problem I had. You told me that you broke the tablets I wrote them on!!

  134. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Callidus (#126): You mean, Clown-9 has invented the Penis Carbonation System? (Now with more fizz!)

  135. Little Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#106): Sorry, it’s the Santayana edition, but for the World Series, I’d skip the Game 3 tickets.

  136. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I’m sorry but I was out of the country at the time on a sinking cruise ship.”

    Marmaduke-The hole is deep enough to bury you alive in and to make sure you don’t try to crawl out.

  137. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#114): we’d never be that lucky. I think that there are enough legacy strips being kept alive on respirators by sons/grandson/nephews/red-headed bastard children that we’d be stuck with them anyway, for the few cents they’d contribute to the mail-it-in-it’s-tee-time! funds that that’s all we’d see.

  138. Ian Beste
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#57): @Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#79): @Mary Worthless (#81): I’m gettin’ kind of an oldies/rock radio vibe here. When does Herman’s Hermits get played?

  139. Calico
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#114):
    I recently read a few back strips of “Little Iodine” by Jimmy Hatlo (“They’ll do it every time” innovator) and I liked them.
    So here’s to the resurgence of vintage strips. The technology may be different, but the psychology is essentially the same.)

  140. Calico
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#137):
    Thank heavens for the internet, then! : )

  141. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#133): Looks like someone didn’t read the warning about handling broken tablets.

  142. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#117): re RMMD: yes, the San Diego skyline has skyscrapers (some earlier posted a photo of the downtown area). The good sailing ship Californian, the recreation of a 19th C. revenue cutter, whenever it returns to port at the Martime Museum, makes a point of firing its cannon on the city. The city has yet to surrender.

  143. HAnzMFG
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers don’t subscribe to the stuffy elitism of lifestyle and home economics magazines.

  144. Poteet
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#118): @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): That’s what fatal bolts of lightning should be for.

  145. Greg
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    GT: We only get an extreme close-up of the Seig Heil in the middle panel. Rightly so, since depiction of the entire salute would surely annihilate all space and time.

  146. Poteet
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Mary Worthless (#81): She’s forty-one and her daddy still calls her “baby”…

  147. Peanut Gallery
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#45): Good job; I wouldn’t have noticed that reference!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#47): The doughnut-machine story is in the first Homer Price book; “Pie and Punch and You-Know-Whats” is from the second book, Centerburg Tales. A very surreal and rather disturbing story in which everyone who hears the song is unable to stop singing it. The only antidote is to recite a doggerel rhyme from Mark Twain’s short story “A Literary Nightmare”. I always found it weird that the antidote was a poem from outside the Homer Price universe, because it seemed to imply that it should work in the real world too.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): Krispy Kreme has doughnut-making machines too.

  148. Downpuppy
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): The Pogo reboot was OK with Doyle & Sternecky. When they quit & Kelly Jr took it over was when it went into the crapper. A long arc about Churchy & a mirror – Arrrgh.

    Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
    Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!

  149. Peanut Gallery
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#57): Next she’ll give Rodney the Long-Distance Runaround.

    You got Yes going through my head, but every time I look at the title of today’s blog post, I switch over to “Disco Inferno”! Darn you, Josh!

  150. Austria
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#87): That’s the joke. Don’t make me explain the joke. D:

  151. The Ridger
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): I actually meant Sam Driver, but god your idea is funnier.

  152. yaoi huntress earth
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#83): I’m waiting for him to give her a box full of skin-bleaching cream at her bridal shower.

  153. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#74): People who are unfamiliar with the San Diego International Airport may wish to go to Google Maps or some similar satellite photo site and zoom in on the 5-story parking garage at the corner of W. Laurel Street and California Street, just a bit more than 1000 feet from the end of the airport’s only runway. There have been times when I could swear we were going to chip the corner off that thing when landing.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#114): @Calico (#139): Thank goodness for Fantagraphics Press, which is doing a wonderful job of publishing much of that legacy material in truly top-quality bound volumes. They love those old strips, and it shows in the care with which they reproduce them.

  154. greghousesgf
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): god, I remember that, it was awful.
    Yayy, Homer Price fans! i thought i was the only one who remembered those books!

  155. Peanut Gallery
    September 17th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

  156. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#147): I still have my Homer Price books. Loved “Eversomuchmoreso,” a precursor to As Seen on TV ripoffs and the story about the magic seeds that basically grew huge ragweed plants. Plus the artwork was terrific.

  157. Alison
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    What’s with all these people in “Mary Worth” getting in boat-related accidents? How many people even go on boats/ferries on a regular basis? Even the popular restaurant in this stupid strip is a boat. I assume tomorrow we’ll find out this hospital Dawn and her hot lover are at is actually on a giant boat and is floating out at sea (hopefully never to return).

  158. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#74): I believe that San Diego’s airport is considered the most dangerous in a major USA city. Not that I’m wishing anything bad on the Morgans as they head to their cathouse, but them shitting their pants during the approach would kill the fake ocean smell.

  159. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I’m thinking somebody won a bet and got to draw that first panel. Either that or they lost the bet.

  160. _Liz
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Don’t be fooled… Dolly isn’t that dumb, she’s using these special moments with Jeffy to feed him disinformation.

  161. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    MW – I know I’m being incredibly anal, but Dawn’s here today, gone yesterday, there two days ago lunch tray with milk carton is diverting my attention away from the incredible passion play in progress between one very lucky and another very unlucky shipwreck survivor.

  162. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#158): Boston’s pretty bad, too. The plane descends practically to the bay’s surface on approach before the runway appears a few feet above the water.

  163. Spyglass
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    The wolf-kid’s balloon was not “popped”; it was blown clean off its hinges. So unless the sun’s in the business of putting Molotov cocktails into balloons, our perp’s still at large.

  164. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#162): Flying between office buildings and landing right on the edge of The Potomac is always a treat when coming into Reagan.

    However, nothing beats sitting in something akin to a Piper Cub on the Palm Springs runway, being able to see through the pilot’s windscreen and seeing nothing but a mountain dead ahead at the end of the runway. I found religion…quick.

  165. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#164): EEEEE!

  166. Dood
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Meanwhile, Count Weirdly is using his time machine to leave all kinds of “Brad Wolf” graffiti reminders about the coming day when the balloons pop.

  167. commodorejohn
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    A.D. – In the Time Before Time, it is said, the Old Gods possessed a marvelous tool forged by Adobe, God of Painters. This tool could be wielded to paint false images with such depth that they became real, and it was used by the wicked for wicked lies though Adobe had meant it for good. Like all of the Kingdom of the Old Gods, it was lost in the War of Heaven-Fire, but the people today, when they see something they cannot believe to be the truth, still speak the name of “Photo-Shop” in memory.

    Crankshaft – I love how even when the characters in Crankshaft are confronting a minor problem and coming up with a reasonable and not particularly difficult solution, they look like they’re being driven this close to a mutual suicide pact.

    DT – Locking someone in a bathyscaphe in a public aquarium is the easy way? What’s the hard way, chopping him into individual tiny bits and feeding them to mice?

    FW – Cayla, are you honestly surprised by the fact that Les generally has his head too far up his own ass to think about anything but himself? You dolt.

    GT – “Torch Oakwood.” I can’t see the rest of the sign, but I presume it says “Leave None Alive.”

    JP – Deer God is watching you, Bea! Repent! Repent!

    Mandrake – No, no, that was a pretty fair assessment.

    MW – “That was where I lost my arm-oh wait, there it is! It was on my shoulder the whole time!”

    Monty – If I were a chemistry major, I might have some idea whether that’s supposed to be a humorous molecule or whether the joke is just that it’s representative of a molecule.

    Phantom – “We should’ve upgraded to a telegraph, I said, but nooo, old Crotchety said the spirits would not approve…”

    Ripley’s – “Fossilized Turtle Mating.” Good name for a band.

    SM – Is he going to carry him across the threshold?

  168. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”That’s amazing that you can smell the ocean. All I can smell is that fat guy over there who smells like garlic.”

  169. tallyHO
    September 17th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#166):

    So, does this mean that in the finale of “Slylock Fox”, the mouse will obtain god-like powers and be used in the story as a Deus ex Maxina?

  170. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    GT – The football, purchased from the Clown 9 line of fine toys and sports equipment, was actually a scud missile that detonated upon hitting the turf. A few boys lost their left arms in the tragic incident. They are being tended to by our own war hero, Steve Boone and some depressed guy from California named Jim.

  171. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#158): (Why we drive to Las Vegas: When Southwest used to have the ganga $49/one way flight from Tucson to Las Vegas, it wasn’t a non-stop. It landed in San Diego first. I am not making this up. Okay, cheap but long.)

  172. Leifr
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#84):

    With a handle like odinthor, by Heimdall’s horn, I should hope not!

    Ves heill!

  173. Dale
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#164):

    How does all this airport evaluation compare with Chicago’s Midway?

  174. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – They have two days in which to fly to San Diego, visit the apartment building, find out why people aren’t paying the rent, then return. Meanwhile, Rex plans to be a “beach bum” while June has a Kindle full of books to read.

    Clearly, past experience has spoiled them and they are anticipating that all they have to do is drive over to the building and get out of the car, and the tenants will line up to hand them money. Still, they have not mentioned this plan, or any plan related to the central purpose of this visit, during any conversation. All they discuss is the fun they will be having at the beach and the skimpiness of June’s bikini.

    Usually, the final “if they only do X, however, all will be forgiven” is a forlorn hope. However, there is a fair chance that June really will wear her bikini, visit the apartment complex, be mistaken for one of the many ‘women of leisure’ who work there, and thus simultaneously reveal what has been going on and make a few bucks for herself in the process.

    Still, all would be forgiven. For extra credit, a picture of Widdle Sawah turns up in the guest registry, revealing that she is 55 years old and a regular customer.

  175. tallyHO
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    On Slylock Fox’s Riddle de Jour, I’m calling BS!*

    Now if the ice cream melted, I could see blaming the temperature of the air being warmed too much by the sun. That works for ice cream. But, for the balloons. I don’t believe it.

    What next Shylock? Are you gonna blame the mouse-shaped piñata bursting on the gaze of that lil kitten-girl or are you gonna blame it on Reeky Rat putting a party hat on his butt and firing a nuclear-bean powered fart at the candy filled, dangling thing?

    When the kids keep trying to pin the tail on the Weirdly, who are you gonna frame for when a fence is found with a bunch of tails that spell out REDRUM? Are you gonna blame Possessed Piggy just because Jesus hasn’t gotten around to casting out those demons? I know you will blame him.

    You’ll blame everyone but yourself for letting Weirdly’s “Grand Experiment” continue. That birthday party is so symbolic of your failed civilization, fox! A single slice of Black-flavored Birthday Cake indeed!

    *ehhh. I thought about “calling BS” and doing another Newhart-like “phone conversation bit” but quite frankly I am just in the mood to call BS on most of the comics I read today.

  176. Walker of Dog
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#173): I understand that Orange County (John Wayne) and Juneau have some steep climbs and/or descents.

  177. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#176): John Wayne was the airport I mentioned in Palm Springs. Pretty scary takeoff. I’d like to hear Ron White do a riff on that one.

  178. tallyHO
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    In Mary Worth–

    That second panel is a case of the right hand not knowing the left hand isn’t there.

  179. Marc
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    I’ve only flown in and out of 3 airports; Buffalo, Charlotte, and Dallas-Fort Worth. After reading some of the stories here about the interesting layouts of other airports, the three I’ve been through sound like they might be the three most unobstructed take off/landing zones around.

  180. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#173): Sorry, I’ve only endured the torture that is O’Hare.

  181. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke-”I don’t know, Davey. Here’s a ladder. Why don’t you go down and find out. I promise I won’t pull the ladder out of the hole when you are on the bottom.”

  182. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#133):

    I knew I got them from someone here, but I couldn’t remember who!! I made up the one about Mt. Kilimanjaro, however.

  183. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    Only ONE bonfire? Shouldn’t Milford have a bonfire for JV Girls’ Badminton? Where’s title IX in this town?

  184. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Sly: So what was that game that the stork-boy couldn’t win? He’s way taller than the two midget party guests that look not much out of their larval stage. And he can fly. I’d say that if he can’t come in at least a respectable second place against this crowd of cutesy moppets and one trashy, shirtless carnivore, he should be escorted from the party grounds immediately, and let the wolves begin their hunt.

  185. Marthas Rolling Pin
    September 17th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    A real Plugger believes that “Southern Living” should have stayed in the back pages of “The Progressive Farmer” where it belonged instead of getting high-falutin’ and going off on its own.

  186. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Arthritis Today”?? No! REAL pluggers have “Anal Wart Weekly” and “Southern Backhair Styler”. And a daily copy of the obits. Always with the obits.

  187. John C
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday’s Hi and Lois: Sorry this is late, but you must be informed. That’s not Trixie, that’s her male “partner”. She’s part of the Children of the Damned. Don’t let her read your throughts, or she may use her fire eyes to make you kill yourself! She must be stopped at all costs!

  188. odinthor
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

  189. Hogenmogen
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “If Margo doesn’t approve, then why would I?” Tommie is going to rat out LuAnn.

    Snuffy: Snuffy is going to rat out Lukey. Lukey will rat out Snuffy tomorrow. Then they have to pay off the Sherriff to get bailed out of jail. The economy of Hootin Holler has a higher GDP per capita than Manhattan.

  190. debussy fields
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    MW– “Your story is all well and good, Jim, but if you think I’m going to put down my fork and give you my undivided attention, forget it. I’m hungry! I’ve been volunteering my ass off all day today!”

  191. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-We only have one bonfire but it’s hot enough and big enough to roast the opposing team after the game.

  192. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#188): No airport is as dangerous as the pilot who flies into it:

  193. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I caught the aftermath while looking to see if anyone was talking about me surviving a cruise ship sinking.”

  194. Ian Beste
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#179): Denver International Airport is way the hell outta town and plopped down amidst vast fields of something. Nothing around there, unless things have changed a lot after four years or so. After the plane touched down, I felt as if it had taxiied 20 miles before it got to the gate.

    Takeoffs out of Burbank’s Bob Hope Airport are fun: the airport is surrounded on all sides by a moderately-dense mix of residential, business and light industrial development. The takeoff consists of a short run down the runway followed by a steep climb that always seems to surprise a couple of passengers, and then a tight turn to get out of the Valley as soon as possible.

  195. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#180): My father, a former pilot and ATC, used to say this about O’Hare:

    “All those %^*& runways, and not one of them pointed into the wind!”

  196. Chaze
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#194): Denver Airport sits on top on the governments planned hideout on 12/20/2012. I saw on Conspiracy Theory with Jesse “the body” Ventura and he wouldn’t lie, right?

  197. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#196): Not much of a secret hideout if everyone in a 3-state area knows about it. Reportedly, you can hear the construction noise from the underground UFO terminal as far away as Longmont.

  198. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    To see what Rex and June are seeing in today’s strip you can watch this video to see that you are indeed lower than the clustered skyscrapers. But do you want to see what landing at San Diego looks like from the cockpit of a commercial airliner? See this video for a pilot’s-eye view and scroll ahead to about 2:00 to see what the infamous 5-story parking garage at the end of the runway looks like when you are flying right towards it. If they planted cotton on the top floor of that structure, the airlines could pick up a little extra cash by crop dusting on their approach.

  199. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Fun fact: SONG OF THE SOUTH is on YouTube. Today, at least.

    @Peanut Gallery (#147): I knew it was two different stories, particularly as I went to the book to check the illustrations, but for some reason, it didn’t matter to me at the time.

    Regarding Mark Twain, this may be of interest as a sort of ancillary merchandise. ( links are notably mushy. I hope this one works.)

    As to Krispy Kreme, I will concede that their product is shaped like a doughnut. I expect an enterprising inventor could find a way to reconfigure their machine to make doughnuts.

    @Downpuppy (#148): Doyle and Sternecky certainly did try, I’ll give them that.

    @Chaze (#180): Damn O’Hare. Worst airport experience I ever had was thanks to them.

  200. Ian Beste
    September 17th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#196): If I remember correctly, DIA also had a special luggage conveyer belt for skis. Hah! Proof positive! That’s how the parachute ski marines will land from their black helicopters!

  201. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: Jim is so conflicted…happy one moment, grief-stricken the next…I can see why. OTOH, it’s cheaper to hang out with him instead of going to an amusement park.

  202. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#200): I’d heard when the new DIA was built, a special commission was made for a gargoyle that sits high above luggage claims, preventing theft of people’s bags. Then again, this was before the TSA.

  203. Anonymous
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#180): There’s an airport in West Virginia – Charleston, I’m pretty sure – that is on top of a mountain. They leveled it off a bit to make a flat place for the airport, but the runways begin and end in the void. There’s no changing your mind once you start to take off.

  204. wossname
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#203): Damn, still trying to teach Firefox about cookies.

  205. Thibault
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#177): Yeah, takeoff at John Wayne Orange County is fun. Plane taxis to end of runway, locks the brakes, engines to full throttle, brakes off! Slams you into your seat!

  206. seismic-2
    September 17th, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#203): Yep, that’s the one. I have flown into Charleston exactly once in my life, and I fully intend to keep it that way. To see why, go to Google Maps, zoom into Charleston’s Yeager Airport, switch from the satellite photo to the map, and toggle on the “terrain”. Yikes!!!

    Durango, CO, is another mountaintop airport like that, since you’re simply landing on a natural mesa, and the runway stretches to the edge of the cliff. Fortunately, only small twin-propeller planes from feeder airlines land there, for obvious reasons.

  207. Uncle Lumpy
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp — As night ushers in the day, the Mudlark Bonfire presages the Reading of the Roster, so trufans can keep track of the likes of QB Miles Paris, showboat receiver Jamaar Gaddis, and now kicker Terry Gallagher here. Did last year’s seniors Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford graduate on time? Milford’s not very deep on the line, you know – could be trouble!

  208. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#201): Well, it’s easy to see why Jim’s so gloomy. Just listen to his internal monolog: “Yeah, life has dealt me a harsh blow. There’s no getting around that. Still, on the other hand… OH GOD DAMN IT.”

  209. demoncat
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    marmuduke actuly dug a portal so he can bring his family and other hell dogs like him into the neighborhood and take it over completly. mw. dawns is starting after hearing how her friend lost his arm is starting to think omg we are now ment to be together since we both survived ship disasters. as mary is some where smiling over the pairing to come .

  210. Baka Gaijin
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#203): I’d forgotten about Charleston, WV, where any fast landing becomes an automatic go around. “Forgotten” in the same sense as “repressed memory.”

    @Thibault (#205): Yes, and once the plane gets close to leveling off, it decelerates dramatically. The first time I flew out of OC the pilot didn’t make the announcement that this is normal. I think they were able to remove the armrest pads from my hands once we landed. Vice grips were involved, but United got ‘em back. Stupid noise abatement./a

  211. TheDiva
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#202): You heard correctly–there are, in fact, two gargoyles, one for each side of the terminal. I’ve always rather liked them, despite the fact their presence is a sign that the airport is a secret Freemason temple and staging ground for the New World Order.

    The public art at DIA is something of a legend, frequently for the wrong reasons–in addition to the conspiracy theory painting and the Freemason gargoyles, there’s that hideous blue horse on the road in (aptly described by my uncle as “a strung out Quick Draw McGraw”), and the roof of the terminal, which is supposed to resemble the mountains but looks more like a demented circus tent, or the top of a lemon merengue pie.

  212. commodorejohn
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#211): I really need to see those murals sometime, but I never get a long enough stop on the way to/from California to do so…

  213. Chance
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    “Your fancy science knowledge might explain why those balloons popped, but elementary physics will never help you understand why this innocent birthday party for children so quickly turned into a scene of vicious adult accusations and recriminations. ”

    …and terror. Don’t forget terror. Before Shylock stepped in, those wolves were about to stone cold eat those storks for popping the balloons.

  214. Peanut Gallery
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#199): The trick with Krispy Kremes is to get them when they’re hot off the conveyor belt. Those molten blobs of grease, flour, and sugar can be surprisingly tasty.

    Your link seems to have gone astray…

    Thanks for the heads-up about Song of the South! I saw it on TV once when I was a kid, barely remember it, and I’ve been wondering what it would be like to see it again, all these years after The Mouse declared it an un-film. Naturally, I didn’t remember any of the non-animated parts.

  215. TheDiva
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#212): They’re really interesting, actually–they’re done in a Mexican surrealist style that’s very symbolic and rather unsettling to look at, which is why I think a lot of people read all these New World Order conspiracies into them (here’s some images from the artist’s site, along with a statement as to why the conspiracy nuts are, well, nuts).

  216. commodorejohn
    September 17th, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#215): I’ve seen some pictures before – I’d just like to see ‘em in person, but every time I’m there I have 15-30 minutes (and usually closer to 15) before the next flight, so I never get the time to get over to the terminal where they are…

  217. FOOBed no more
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#9): Thanks for the info about Cow & Boy. It really sucks that all the good ones keep going away while FOOB and Funky and others are still going strong.

  218. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    That Denver airport is certainly interesting. I remember hanging around one day at Stapleton with a friend whose mom was attending a conference or something at a hotel within walking distance. It was a regular wonderland for us — we must have been twelve or thirteen — there was the arcade, with pinball games and all these mechanical simulators, like ski simulator, a helicopter you put through obstacles, and other pre-computer mockups now gone with the wind. There was a change machine where I found maybe four dimes — that kept me going for a while. TVs, booksellers, all kinds of swell things going on.

    Obviously, all that’s history now. I think the first time I flew into DIA was the same time that the Pope was in Denver. My seatmate was a young priest, and I said, “I bet I know why you’re going to Denver.” Lots of technical advances at the new place — they were just getting the luggage system figured out around that time.

    I must not have had a lot of time on my hands the last few times I was there. I have my digital camera with me, but haven’t yet taken extensive studies of the murals, so I mostly see them online or in passing. They’re goofy enough that they probably deserve some of the conspiracy theories.

    @Peanut Gallery (#214): Damn links always go screwy! Well, here’s a link to the Google search. It’s the first hit, and probably several of the other hits as well.

  219. cheech wizard
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99): That and #98 are just about 120 degrees of awesome. Thanks for sharing. I never knew they’d made a movie of the donut machine, and it’s still pretty cool despite the stilted delivery. The sketches from that story and of Homer working on a radio are classics as well.

    I was lucky enough to pick up a hard cover compilation of both Homer Price books a couple Christmases ago, when it was briefly issued. Great, great stuff, although like everything else from that era, it gets a bit un-PC at times.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have 49 pounds of edible fungus to collect.

  220. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#164): Nothing can compare to the old Hong Kong airport approach, during which one could look into apartment windows and wave to the inhabitants.

    I love landing at SFO, too—looking down on the water until the very last minute. All part of that “coming home” feeling.

    My favorite scary take-off, though, was in a smallish plane from a small island in the Philippines; it was a grass runway that was quite short and ended in a hill and trees. My fellow passengers, all Navy pilots, watched the plane before ours take off and did a collective intake of breath that was both impressive and unnerving.

  221. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#211): Oh, that is cool! (Not cool enough to fly into DIA, mind you.) Thanks!

  222. Sgt. Stoned
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Principal Weatherbee is unable to read. That explains much about the student body at Riverdale High.

    Lockhorns: Leroy, you’re a Plugger if “checking your schedule” means checking the “TV Guide”.

  223. bats :[
    September 17th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#215): rather a New World Order than “It’s a Small World” flashbacks…

  224. wooddragon
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#51): Re: RMMD: That is pretty much exactly what the approach into San Diego looks like. Kind of exciting if you’re not expecting, landing with skyscrapers close by one side of the plane…

  225. Peanut Gallery
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#218): Ooh, that is nice. They really knew how to dress up the cover of a piece of sheet music in 1876.

  226. tallyHO
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    the things you notice

    Sara Stork’s son, who I presume was delivered by the stork, is the only character at this party wearing shoes…or is it a pair of socks?

    While it would be fantastic if Marmaduke were playing Tug-O-Ladder with a firetruck, it is more likely he is doing what dogs do when they are trying to communicate with their owners.

    Some dogs will smile, some will dance, some will give you something if they are sorry for their sins. But, Marmaduke was excommunicated from innocence years–decades–ago. He’s just telling Phil Hilter to, “Go to Hell!” (aawwww. idn’t that evil!)

    If any of you know emergency room doctors or nurses, you’ve heard horror stories about emergencies involving…how shall I express this delicately…removing things from places they do not belong. (Think Richard Gere and a gerbil). Ziggy’s mice…a can of Cheez Whiz….hoo boy.

    Sassy. She’s so Sassy. True, we all knew she’d never grow up to be Lassie. She’s just Sassy. But, we never knew the experiments Doc conducted on you….Sassy.
    What we didn’t know, and it is sure startin’ to show, is that you would stop growing, reversing your age as you go and some day you’ll end up just suckling on Rusty.

    Argh! Mistopher Trendy is a narc! Heavens to Mergatroid! So, why is that little hypocrite complaining about the ‘Conomy and how Mismafortunamit peoples in Hootin’ Holler are? Hillbilly be turnin’ ‘em in and getting real paid! I thought my faith was shattered when I saw Dawn’s beau’s Ghost Arm. If you can’t trust an untrustworthy person to be untrustworthy when it matters, who can you trust?

  227. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-And so begins Milford’s book burning season with it’s opening bonfire.

  228. Liam
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Archie does have a point. If this was a soap opera comic we wouldn’t find out till next week what his decision is.

  229. commodorejohn
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#218): When Punch Brothers punch brothers, Punch Brothers punch?

  230. cheech wizard
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#229): Only in the presence of the passenjare. But that was Twain.

  231. Erich Clapton
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#74): Yep. . .Southwest Airlines passing over I-5 on terminal. The “Boss” and I love to go to the University Club (on the 34th floor of one of the buildings downtown) and watch the planes land. And drink the best G&Ts in San Diego. And other stuff. . .

  232. Droopy Says
    September 17th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to go with everyone else on calling “bullshit” with Slylock Fox and the balloons. Citing Avogadro’s law, Boyle’s law, Gay-Lusac’s law and other related bits of chemistry and physics, there’s no way a reasonable increase in temperature could cause the balloons to burst from increased gas pressure. Pressure and volume are proportional to temperature, with temperature measured on the Kelvin scale. Let’s say you need to increase the pressure by 10% to make the balloons burst. A seasonable temperature at the beach on a hot summer day would be 300 K. Increasing that by 10% would raise the temperature to 330 K, which converts to 57 C or 134 F. At this point everyone is too busy dealing with heat stroke and sun stroke (and in the case of the storks, soft-boiled eggs) to worry about their balloons.

    Of course the balloons might have been inflated at the bottom of Marmaduke’s Pit of Horror, as part of his nefarious scheme to spread woe and despair across the face of the earth. At the bottom of a sufficiently deep pit, the greater air pressure would have required more gas to properly inflate the balloons. Bringing them to the surface would cause the balloon’s internal gasses to expand, bringing the balloons to the bursting point. Proper mathematical analysis of the situation would allow us to calculate the depth of Marmaduke’s pit, thereby revealing the precise level of Hell from which he hales.

  233. Erich Clapton
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Erich Clapton (#231): Yeah, “terminal”, “final”. What a maroon.

  234. Mr. O'Malley
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    I went through DIA a while ago but I missed the Illuminati murals and the giant horse that killed the artist that created it. I suppose they are outside the secure zone.

    I did see a magnificent sunset through a big picture window, and the funny thing was that there was only one other person who seemed to notice it, although there were hundreds of people rushing by the window.

    I was not impressed by the food selection. The Mexican restaurant seemed like it was based on the avoidance of all foodstuffs eaten in Mexico. But the people working there appeared to be Hispanic, so we actually asked them “Do you have anything Mexican here?” They just laughed and said the menu was decided by corporate. And everything else was either way expensive or didn’t appear to be edible. Although having food for sale at all puts them ahead of Dallas where apparently there is some local law that you’re not allowed to eat after eight o’clock.

  235. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 17th, 2012 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#220): Ever fly in to Guantanamo Bay? In order to make the airstrip on the leeward side, the plane has to make a hairpin 90 degree turn to avoid flying into Cuban airspace. Thrilling.

  236. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    I wonder what Sir Rodney was doing on his date that required him to wear a chainmail shirt. Did she accompany him while he was…what? On sentry duty? Doing combat drills? Fighting a battle?

    I also wonder how Milford became an enclave of Mazdaism. “We only have one bonfire,” indeed.

  237. Poteet
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    MW — “In your case, it’s your hair. My missing arm looks a lot better than your insane ‘do.”

  238. Poteet
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    FW — This wedding is going to be too horrible even to crash.

  239. Droopy Says
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: At some point Lieber and Lee must have realized that Asi9 was pulling an unrealistic amount of material from inside his costume.

    Creepy Les: Yes! Because it’s so easy to have a wedding in your home! Especially after two boarders who you never mentioned before have (1) popped into existence and (2) immediately moved out, like virtual particles in some forbidden quantum state.

    Mock Trail: “Poor Sassy! I’m going to miss her!”

    Jugs Parker: It must be a reflex for Avery to look so affronted when someone says “mind your own business.”

    As for this stolen-camera business, has it not occured to anyone that Sam and Avery don’t need a photograph of the pot farm to cause trouble? What sort of scene would Bubba expect at the local DEA office? “We saw a ten acre pot farm off the road to the fishing camp. You cops can go out there and look for yourselves–what, you can’t do that without a digital photograph as evidence? Darn, so much for the testimony of two apparently law-abiding citizens!”

  240. Poteet
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    MT — Sassy’s plight is your fault, you little shape-shifting idiot. And anyone who held one of my cats like that would be given a quick choice — put the cat down or quickly become disabled or dead.

  241. Poteet
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#239): Re JP, you’d ordinarily be right. But this story is obviously set in some kind demented Twilight Zone wherein there are never any small planes overhead, no local would even dream of snitching on a $30-million pot field, and Sam is going to somehow save the day by exuding pure smugness.

  242. Poteet
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#241): Some kind of. Time to quit.

  243. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 18th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#220): I’m guessing our one stopover in Hong Kong comes after the era you mention. Either that or we were too zonked to notice apartment windows. Maybe we were filling out paperwork swearing we hadn’t so much as coughed in China — the week before we went over, they discovered SARS, and there was, well, a bit of concern. Anyway, the things I noticed were all related to the Empress Hotel (I think that was the name), which we got to by simply going down a corridor of the airport. That was the first cool thing. Then there was the sunken lounge with the piano up on its own elevated level. And the corridors that looked like something out of 2001 (still futuristic in 2003). Coolest, perhaps, was the pictures in the hotel’s restaurant where we had breakfast before leaving. The walls were sort of curved, and the pictures crept along them. They were hung on wires from an overhead track, and they slowly migrated from one part of the place to another. I wish I’d had more memory for the camera. I could have taken movies.

    @cheech wizard (#230): It’s possible Twain wrote the doggerel, but he claimed he was just reporting an existing verse. But you know, he did make stuff up.

  244. Black Drazon
    September 18th, 2012 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    DT: “Oh great, it’s Dick Tracy.” The sound of a man who’s had to mop bloodstains off the floor.

  245. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 18th, 2012 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#153): The story I heard was that the original design had the garage two stories higher.

    Having lived for a time right under the airlines’ flight path, all I can say is Not A Good Idea.

  246. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 18th, 2012 at 4:32 am [Reply]

    Also to be listed among the “exciting” airports: SFO. You come in right over the Bay on your way in to San Francisco, and it usually looks like you’re about to land on the water. It’s even freakier when there’s a bit of fog.

  247. Ginger Yellow
    September 18th, 2012 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    Judging by his pose, Slylock’s theory is that somebody doing the robot dance popped the balloons.

  248. John C Fremont
    September 18th, 2012 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Bronco Burger? Woo-hoo!

  249. gleeb
    September 18th, 2012 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: First, what happened to Cayha the Jellyfish that let Creepy Les run off to Africa without her? Second, not at the crappy pizza joint? I think she’s trying to kill him with the shock.

  250. gleeb
    September 18th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#239): To be fair, Darrin and Jessie were mentioned when they moved in…and promptly ignored. Jessie was going to make some sort of documentary about her father’s murder, and Darrin had a couple strips being the “gizmo” kid at Montoni’s. But there were important marching band strips to do, so they were squeezed out of the narrative.

  251. Black Drazon
    September 18th, 2012 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    “Sir Rodney’s date caught a venereal disease from a frog.” A frog that outranks him!

  252. Little Guy
    September 18th, 2012 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#166): *Citizen Kane Clapping GIF*

  253. Mighty Max King
    September 18th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

  254. Dale
    September 18th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#248):

    What part of this operation is self-service? Something about the restrooms?

  255. giraffe-o
    September 18th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Why can wolves and mice walk around shirtless, but women are yoked by the tool of oppressive male dominance, the brassiere? Top freedom for Cassandra Cat!

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