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Mark’s fishing … for danger! [slurp] [tap tap tap] [what have I become]

Mark Trail, 10/16/12

In ancient Greek tragedies, hubris is inevitably followed by a generally violent comeuppance. And so too in Mark Trail! Mark and Bill Ellis thought they could party like big shots on Woods and Wildlife’s fabulous corporate yacht (not pictured), sailing down to the Caribbean for a few days’ worth of fishing, but instead they’ve been waylaid by these gun-toting, festively dressed, splendidly mustached foreigners. I suppose they’re going to turn out to be drug smugglers or the like, but given that Mark and Bill seem to have just sailed down there in the yacht and then started a-fishin’, I prefer to believe that they’re customs officials from some extremely relaxed island nation that doesn’t feel a need to spend a lot of money on “uniforms” or “offices” for their government employees. Another possibility, given that Lead Baddie’s exposed chest has suddenly become bright pink in panel three, is that they’re shape-shifting aliens who want to kidnap Mark and Bill to their outer-space probatorium.

Marvin, 10/15/12

Let’s say you’re a person who writes jokes, on the Internet! If that were the case, there would be few things more harrowing than a cartoon dog sitting at a desk, taking a desultory slurp of coffee, and then tapping out some terrible humor-like prose, all while sporting a numb, heavy-lidded facial expression. BRRRRRRR.

217 responses to “Mark’s fishing … for danger! [slurp] [tap tap tap] [what have I become]”

  1. Esther Blodgett
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Marvin: That dog isn’t writing an advice column; he’s watching a live feed of Les and Cayla’s wedding.

  2. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    GT: “Well, faith and a begorrah! You American colleens sure are an easy lot! How’bout a yank, Yank?”

    MT: “Well, since you’re asked so nicely…”

  3. wossname
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    DT – Ah, Chekhov’s grits.

    Archie – The alleged joke should not distract us from the alarming sight in the background of panel 3: The top half of Archie’s head has been surgically removed, and his scalp has been reattached just above his nose. Side effects may include more intelligent dialogue.

    Crank – Really – is there a joke here? That he’s going to eat the entire pizza by himself? Is that supposed to be funny? Maybe, just maybe, if there were signage indicating this was a weight loss doctor or a doctor specializing in upset stomachs, the needle on the joke-o-meter would get up to a 1 (out of 100). But as is, it’s in the minus numbers.

    Curtis – Let’s see now… I predict “she” turns out to be a “he.” Because there’s nothing funnier than cross-dressing, amirite?

    JP – I’m loving this arc as much as everybody else, but if Avery hadn’t gone rushing off to confront Bubba, would he not have been a security risk? He already knew the pot field was there, as does Sam. Oh well, I’ll just sit back and enjoy the pretty pictures.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y191): For Christopher Walken dancing, nothing surpasses the strip tease in “Pennies from Heaven” (an amazing, outstanding movie IMO).

  4. S. Stout
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Marvin: This comic is all sorts of awful, but nowhere in it is Marvin shitting himself and talking about it, so I give it a C+.

    Luann: Evans is making a strong case that Shannon is the most intelligent person in the Luann cast.

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Is that Burt Reynolds? Last time I saw him on a canoe he was wearing a leather vest, fishing with a compound bow and telling us that machines were gonna fail. I didn’t watch any more of the movie after that, so I can only hope Mark and Bill are treated well by the locals.

  6. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    JP – “Look, I’m a negotiator – one of the best! I want my camera, and you need security – so lets talk!”

    “OK. I propose that I keep your camera, you give me all your money, Bubba here makes you squeal like a pig, then I leave you for dead at the bottom of this mine shaft.”

    “It’s a deal! You asked for the moon, but I like your style! I can tell you are a good person who I would trust with my life!”

    “Alright then. Let’s get at that moon….”

  7. Liam
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Will Rex ever eat clams? Will have to eat clams by herself?

    MW-Dawn is hoping to open up to Jim too if you know what I mean.

  8. CanuckDownSouth
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Should the pink-shirted baddie really expect them to have their passports on them? Is that a requirement in any island country? Given waves or getting dunked while fishing, you’d think the passports would be much safer back on the yacht and local rules would allow for it, with an officer accompanying you back to check your passports if there’s a legitimate problem.

  9. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Places to go, things to be, people to do. So I’m just gonna dump my first-draft comments here and when I get back… IF I get back… I’ll catch up on the blog.

    Beetle – Zero is of less than average intelligence!

    Archie – When this was originally printed, we were still using Greek letters, and Jughead’s humorous answer was “Daleth and Gimel.”

    Close – McPherson hopes that by the year 3000, humans will have evolved a physiognomy that will make his wretched drawings look more normal.

    (Well, of course I’ll get back, but drama is fun!)

  10. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Smirky – Authentic: That’s really the Mendelssohn “Wedding March” from Midsummer Night’s Dream. Typical: It’s a dumbed-down, simplified version for a piano student in the lower grades.

    Victoria – Don’t sweat the small historic errors today. Pab is using Poetic license.

    Mary – Jim will come to learn that the darkest hour is before Dawn.

    Rx – “Help! My wife is stirring in her coffin! Bring a stake!”

  11. pugfuggly
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MT This week, Tom Sellack is Thomas Magnum’s evil twin in Yachting for Danger: the Punchenning”

    A3G Margo knows that the key to intimidating a love rival is to treat them like a household pet. “Who’s a gorgeous creature? Are you a gorgeous creature? Yes you are! Yes you are!”

    MW “Yeah, after your sister died I was afraid that you might be upset or something! We’ve based this relationship on continuous affirmations of unbridled optimism, so if you’re going to get all cranky over the sudden death of a sibling, I’m just going to have to go back to moping about Dave!”

  12. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m in training to be a meddler. I have a great mentoress. But I am only up to feigning interest in other peoples problems.

  13. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m too lazy to go back and check the past few days of this strip, but people are in fact showing up in different-colored outfits each day, right? Boy, it’s times like this when I wish we could see what’s going on from the waist down.

  14. seismic-2
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Horrible, yes, but it still beats Ask Wendy.

  15. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#12): @pugfuggly (#11):

    “feigning interest in other peoples problems”
    “continuous affirmations of unbridled optimism”

    Mastered the art of meddling, you have. Ready for the next stage, you are!

    Looking forward to seein Mare taking off her mask. “Dawn. I … am …. your … mother”.

  16. nescio
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    I wouldn’t have guessed, but Marvin’s family is smart enough to designate a separate mug for their dog to drink out of. I don’t see anything overtly scatalogical in today’s strip, so I have to assume he’s drinking toilet water, not coffee.

  17. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
    We have pinks shirts and facial hair
    And ask for your passports, please!
    We ride in green boats with little guns
    And ask for your passports, please!

    Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
    We’re careful to call you “gentlemen”
    And ask for your passports, please!
    We’ll accept our punching like tough men
    After we ask for your passports, PLEASE!

  18. Downpuppy
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Family Circus is a recap of the last 2 episodes of Bleach on Toonami.

    Ice Captain, on the verge of defeat by Water Wench, cast aside restraint & froze everything. That snowman is Dolly!

  19. LP2004
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15): “Dawn. I … am …. your … mother”. But… that would suggest that Mary and Wilbur… Excuse me, I’m about to become violently ill.

  20. Chris B
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    At long last – the Magnum P.I. – Mark Trail crossover!

  21. terrapin
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    LUANN: Gotta hand it to Shannon. The kid knows a load of BS when she hears it.

    RMMD: Oh man, that old couple looked so happy yesterday. I sure hope there’s nothing seriously wrong, because the only doctor in the area is on vacation.

    Marvin: Of course, the most telling item of today’s Marvin is that Bitsy has his own personalized coffee mug.

  22. Squeak
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Um, mister, my passport is up here. Oh, is this going to be one of those movies?

  23. Little Blue Bicycle
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    I’m really excited by this Mark Trail story that has them in Hawaii illegally fishing off the Robin Masters estate. What will Magnum do?

  24. Becky H.
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Well, Dave, first let’s consider that all dogs are descended from wolves, who, of course, also “howl at the moon”. I put that in quotation marks because, in actuality, the moon has nothing to do with either dogs’ or wolves’ howling. Wolves are more active and on the hunt on nights where the moon is bright and noticeable, simply because it makes it easier to see in dark wooded areas. Howling itself is the main long-distance communication between wolves, so they naturally howl a lot when hunting on said nights. Despite centuries of domestication, dogs have kept this trait simply out of habit—

    …or just answer the question with a stupid social networking non-joke that makes less sense if you know what social networking even is. That works, too, I guess.

  25. Becky H.
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    (and, yes, I realize my site’s URL was mistyped…again)

  26. Buck Ripsnort
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    MT: Apparently, Tiny Island Nation can’t afford sunblock, either. That’s gonna peel, Tom Selleck!

  27. Marc
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    9CL- For as condescending as Thorax is, he’s apparently too dumb to know that the President has to be born in the United States.

    A3G- Margo’s vanity senses are tingling. Before she unleashes her wrath on him for complimenting another woman in her prescence, she’s going to give Evan the chance to affirm that he was talking about her and not Skylar.

    Mark Trail- Don’t worry Mark, these fellows are just the international wallet inspectors. Nothing to worry about here, they’re just trying to keep everything in order in their patch of swampland SOMEWHERE in the southern part of the Caribbean.

    Mary Worth- If you really want to open up to her, unpin your sleeve and show her your stump.

    MW2- By the way, what physical therapy could a guy who has yet to be fitted with a prosthetic possibly be doing? He doesn’t seem to be hampered in any other way as evidenced by his constant meandering the grounds with that non-volunteer.

    Funky- What day are we going to see Dead Saint Lisa’s ghost giving Les the thumbs up? Because we all know that this wedding is not getting off the ground until the dear departed one gives her approval.

    Luann- Smartest thing anyone has done in this strip in a long time.

    Cranky- I call bullshit. Les Moore’s wedding is going on right now, which means the whole town has come out to honor him. There’s no way that Montoni’s is open today.

    Archie- I don’t know why, but I’m curious as to what the giant S on Jughead’s shirt means.

  28. Lanfranc
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#16):

    “…so I have to assume he’s drinking toilet water, not coffee.”

    Let’s hope so, since coffee is toxic to dogs.

    On the other hand, it would be understandable if living together with Marvin has made “Dr. Dog” suicidal.

  29. Samuel PG
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    That Marvin joke has so many layers. The howling is social networking mainly because social networking is a phrase that Tom Armstrong read about in Newsweek recently. But social networking is also a plausible explanation for dogs in different locations howling together. Except, I guess they aren’t social networking with one another, but with friends on Pluto. Which… is odd, because Pluto is pretty far away and sound cannot travel through the near-vacuum of space, and just because you can see the moon does not mean that Pluto would be in the sky. But Pluto is the name of a dog in old Mickey Mouse shorts, so maybe it is a play on that connection. Or perhaps Pluto here is not referring to the former-planet, but to the Roman name of Hades, god of the underworld, in which case howling is a form of dog-seance. I think that’s the winner.

  30. Feral Canadian
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The first panel still works if June is laying naked on a bed and Rex is in the bathroom freshening up

  31. Feral Canadian
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Is this blog ghost written by Bitsy?

  32. Liam
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    MT-The only thing missing on this guy is a mess of chest hair and a big gold necklace.

  33. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    FW: RUN, CAYLA, RUN!!!!!

    Luann: “Used to be” selfish?? Bitch PLEEEEEEASE…….

  34. Hibbleton
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    MT: “Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”

  35. Pozzo
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    So, is Bitsy’s full name “Dr. Bitsy Dog”? Aren’t dogs usually presumed to have the last names of their owners? Is Marvin’s last name “Dog”? Actually, that kind of gives some context to his tendency to crap when and where he pleases.

  36. Oregonian
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MT: In case you missed the obituary, Paddy Roy Bates, who founded the Principality of Sealand, died one week ago today. With their usual timely attention to current events, the writers behind Mark Trail are obviously giving us a tribute strip, celebrating those who plant a new flag in a vast sea of emptiness and declare themselves the sole controlling authorities of that bit of nowhere.

    BTW, Comment 36 is now declared to be the sovereign state of New Oregon and it has substantial penalties for illegal immigration. Passports, please!

  37. nescio
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Lanfranc (#28): Maybe the whole family is drinking cyanide-laced Kool Aid.

  38. flatsixes
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MT: Oh my God!! Andy doesn’t have a passport!

  39. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @terrapin (#21):Re: RMMD “the only doctor in the area is on vacation”

    That’s a relief! At least someone competent is nearby. Hopefully, the vacationing doctor can help. It looked like it was only Rex and June, and I was worried that Rex would have to interrupt his fact-finding mission to wave smelling salts under the old woman’s nose until the ambulance arrived.

  40. Mary Worthless
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15):

    Wilbur and Mary doing the nasty.

    With crystal swans slathered in mayonnaise.

    And Dr. Jeff on the video cam.

    Where can one purchase this GILF porn?

  41. lambcannon
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Dr. Dog’s muzzle is starting to resemble Marvin’s 30 year-old buttcheeks.

  42. Greg
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Marvin: It’s more logical to assume that Bitsy is not drinking coffee but toilet water. Earlier he had stood over the toilet, dunked his mug intended for coffee in the family toilet, went Ahhhhh, and then waggled over to the computer. BRRRRRR, indeed.

  43. Austria
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Anyone else notice the signs on the wall? “Hairy beer belly? Your problem.”

    H&L: “The level of discourse in this country has reached a new nadir” said no actual human being ever.

  44. Anonymous
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    MT: Wow, I really hope Mr. Polite Bad Guy’s name is Burt Selleck!

  45. Trilobite
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    A daring daylight mugging on the high seas! Festively dressed modern pirates patrol the coastal waters, their only desire: PASSPORTS! Yes, clean American passports that they can use to assume their victims’ identities!

    Something tells me the next Lost Forest story would be a lot cooler with this new Mark Trail on the scene, brandishing his mustache and baring his chest recklessly for the whole world to see. At least for Cherry, anyway.

  46. Dood
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D. Rex has a nose for clams. Meanwhile, cue Jethro Tull: Dying on a park bench…Wondering if Rex has a, pipe wrench?

  47. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Ace, if you’re going to rock a Burt mustache and a low-cut Hawaiian shirt, you’re throwing off the whole look by shaving your chest.

    FW: It’s more than a little unsettling to watch a death row inmate walking that last mile this early in the morning.

    C-Shaft: Oh, Crankshaft isn’t so interested in eating the pizza. It’s Montoni’s after all. He’s just using it as a prop with which to be an asshole.

    Popeye: “Trophy wives isk for ugly millionaires like Donald Trump.”

    SL: Does the Medieval theme = pliers & a blowtorch?

    JP: “I see a Spike TV series called Grooming with Bubba. Nobody knows how to do up their mustache like that anymore.”

    RMMD: “She started doing a horizontal chicken dance and she can’t stop!”

    BB: Besides an Army barber slacking off on the job?

    GT: And that’s how our girl earned the nickname “Blarney Stone.”

    Shoe: Ladies, if you go to the circus to pick up men, be ready to check IDs.

    Luann: A few weeks ago Brad was lecturing Luann on how selfless he was now that he was with Toni. I didn’t believe him either. Shannon shows good judgment in finding something else to do.

    M-Dawg: Are the Winslows the kind of New Age goofballs who take their dog to a psychiatrist? Why not an exorcist?

    OBH: T-he!

    A3G: By this point in the party, Margo is so high that she thinks all the guests are parrots.

  48. Esther Blodgett
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#44): It is now!

  49. Dood
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: We’ll ask the questions! And we’ll also be the only ones using contractions!

  50. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#27):

    Archie- I don’t know why, but I’m curious as to what the giant S on Jughead’s shirt means.

    Silence, fool!

  51. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Frazz: Q to parental ‘mudges, is that a real book?

    GF: Satchel was turned into a newt. . . .

    IP: why is IP running it’s intro week? Did it die off too, and no one noticed?

    Lio: *golf clap*

    NAoQV: oh, if only that had been “golf jokes”, I would have plotzed.

    Blondie: hands up if you want to see Tim Allen as debate moderator?

    Crank: o ye godz. it IS Montoni’s.

    PMP: best Curtis strip ever?

    SFx: Mr. Weber Jr., there’s a Jason Fox to see you, something about herbivorous dinosaur dentition?

  52. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    TED

    TED Allen!!!!

    curses on forgetting to google and preview.

    /fail.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . inter-generational three-ways.

  54. geekwhisperer
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail As always, I like to think of Mark Trail as an inexplicable, recurring dream that haunts the sleep of a 35 year old web designer from Park Slope. Every morning he wakes and shakes his head wondering why he’s being haunted by these visions. In the morning he shaves and looked into the mirror with a furrowed brow. His wife, getting ready for work, asks, “You had the dream again didn’t you?”

    “Yeah.”

    “What’s going on this time?” she is strangely fascinated by her husband’s ongoing visions, especially that he has never been an outdoorsman beyond owning a bike, though she worries about how much they seem to trouble him.

    “It’s so weird. This time the woodsy guy took his huge dog on a fishing trip to the Caribbean instead of his wife or son. He and his editor just got captured by pirates or something, but it’s weird because everyone was in all-green boats with green motors and he has an undershirt on and then doesn’t in this weird way. It’s all so strange, I just don’t get why I keep dreaming about it. Iv’e never even been fishing.”

    “Do you think he’s mad at the wife?” she asks, then is instantly ashamed. She long ago tried to stop seeing them as any kind of expression of her husband’s unconscious mind, but tried to see them as pure visions, somehow projected through his subconscious.

    “No, I don’t think so. I don’t think he’s sexual at all. I just wish I understood his motivations better. Bonefish? Is that evan a real thing?” He drew a breath and finished shaving, smiling at his wife chuckling, trying to show her that he thought the whole thing was funny. He didn’t want her to worry. That’s why he had yet to mention the nightmares of nature at her most raw and cruel that came without fail every Saturday night.

  55. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#17): And this is why…

  56. TheDiva
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Huh, I thought cats were supposed to be the evil aliens infiltrating our species for nefarious purposes…

    MT: He had to put on an undershirt! It was too SEXY!

  57. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Luann – I like how Luann is demonstrating her non-selfishness by prattling away from another room, without even looking at the poor six-year-old that she’s hectoring.

    JP – This is nothing a briefcase full of cash can’t fix.

  58. 555 95472
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Why do dogs howl at the moon? Oddly enough, this same question was answered in a recent “Ask Wendy” column. Wendy’s response took up 57 paragraphs; quoted Gandhi, John Kenneth Galbraith and Edna St. Vincent Millay; included a recipe for ‘super sludgy salmon squares’; and concluded that actions speak louder than words, and what matters is the here and now.

    Curiously, neither dogs nor the moon were mentioned.

  59. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#13): Well, all the best orgies do have changing rooms, don’t they?

  60. lorne
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    It looks like Mark and Bill have sailed into Jupiter, Florida, and now they’re gonna tangle with Burt Reynolds, Gator-style.

  61. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Westview bridesmaid #3.

    floofy pupsquee.

    Panel 2 of one of my favorite Far Sides.

    for bats :[. (lovely!)

    I’m changing my vote. (related to the current GF, in a way.)

    somebody mentioned wanting to live in an Airstream recently?

    Steampunk Supergirl. (mostly sfw)

    flying squirrel, midflight.

    pink corgsqui. (Hello Kitty just came down with diabeetus after viewing this pic.)

    corgi going as a PBS character for Halloween.

  62. TheDiva
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    New Know the Score is up! See which sultry singers and sexy dancing silhouettes made my list of Top Five James Bond Themes!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#10): My music lit professor in college told us how he could never take the Mendelssohn wedding march seriously, since it was written for a play that (in part) is about a woman falling for a giant ass. In that context, this may be the most appropriate use of the music since its original purpose.

    A3G: “THE ANSWER HAD BETTER BE ME!!!”

    C’shaft: And yet when the front desk staff treats him in a cold, indifferent manner, suddenly they’re the assholes…

    FW: I’m not Emily Post, but something tells me the white off-the-shoulder wedding dress is not quite apropos for a divorced middle-aged mother getting married in her own front yard.

    Lio: “You didn’t tell me you were going to kill it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!”

    Luann: Even six-year-olds can see Luann is full of crap.

    MW: Once again, bland, pasty love cures all ills in Santa Royale!

    SM: Jameson is so surprised he suddenly lost fifty pounds!

  63. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    And speaking of hubris, is this the first time that Mark has worn other-than-beige? Beige, being the color of male prudence, is natural. The alternative color, “other-than-beige”, signifies sinfulness and wanton depravity. Mark thought that he could party on like these wildlings, and look at the sad outcome.

    I’m impressed with the baddie’s politeness. Instead of just boarding the yacht and swiping it while the owners are fishing a hundred yards away, first they introduce themselves. And, “Please” goes a long way.

  64. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Archie: It’s funny, because today’s teens weren’t even born when the Betamax came out, and have only heard it as a punchline to jokes of decreasing relevance and humor throughout their lifetimes. Jughead’s knowledge of the history of media technology is so impressive that he has stumped the teacher, who still rents tapes from the store. We will see an update to this uproarious joke that includes “and the next letter is … Hulu!”

    That is, in about 15 years when online TV is trumped by a service that pumps content directly into your brain.

  65. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Marvin: In space, no one can hear you crap your diaper. Or smell it.

  66. jvwalt
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    If any small nation is progressive enough to adopt the Festive Hawaiian Shirt as its official uniform, I shall move there forthwith.

  67. Dood
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: It’s clear that these bad guys don’t want to be Evinrude to Mark and Bill.

  68. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#13): Different outfits day-to-day, and yesterday Eric got a haircut between panels.

  69. Dave Dahl
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    MW: I missed the punctuation mark in the second panel and read it as “I’m glad I was worried about you.”

  70. Alter Ego
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    love is… giving Granny a live nude sex show to watch instead of crappy hospital TV.

  71. Walker of Dog
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#5): When I was about 9 or 10, a heavily edited version of Deliverance was shown on the Saturday night late movie. In a shocking parental lapse, my parents let us stay up and watch by ourselves. We never did figure out why Ned Beatty was crying in his underwear…

  72. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#27): “what physical therapy could a guy who has yet to be fitted with a prosthetic possibly be doing?”

    Ok, Jimbo! Grab this glass with your right hand. Good! Now, grab with your left. Please, Jim, remember that you don’t have a left hand anymore because you had a traumatic accident. Ok, next. Write a letter to your sister with your right hand. Jim, you have to stop now, and think! Your sister is dead because of your accident in which you also lost your arm! Now, write a letter with your left hand. Wha? …Yes! That’s it, you don’t have a left hand… Oh? … You don’t really have to use that language, Jim, we’re in therapy now… No, I can’t do that, as it is anatomically impossible, no matter how many healthy hands I have that you don’t.”

  73. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    WHAT is this, and WHY the guns?” After that, everything else in this strip is anticlimactic.

  74. Mibbitmaker
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    MT: Daily comics colorist: “If Jack Elrod doesn’t seem to care, why should I?”

    9CL: What a sorry spectacle this is!

    NS: Danae is (getting to be) as insufferable as Thorax.

    Glibporn: Ronald Reagan: “Well, there you go again!”

    RMMD: Rex (casually): “Y’know, June, somebody really ought to find a doctor.
    (upbeat) Okay — hellooooooooo, clams…!”

    S4th (15th): “Of all the men in the universe, I had to marry Abed Nadir!”

  75. AhClem
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    FW – Look at the faces of all the people gathered for this so-called “joyous” occasion. I’ve seen happier expressions on Death Row.

    RM – “June, she needs help — someone who knows a lot about first aid, resuscitation, and emergency medical procedures. But where would we find someone like that here on the beach? Oh, and when do we pick up our new free boat?”

  76. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Wait – Mark took Andy the dog on the plane? But not Rusty?

  77. AhClem
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#74):
    Re RMMD: Great minds, etc.

  78. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#71):

    I grew up with that version, too. For years, I wondered what the ‘squeal like a pig’ references meant, given that there is no such scene or dialogue in the movie.

    Now, to quote Rodney Dangerfield at the end of Caddyshack: “Hey everybody, let’s all go take a shower!”

  79. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#76): I’m not sure why you find that problematic. Of the two, which one would you put on the no-fly list?

  80. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#44):

    In keeping with the Mark Trail 1950s-era Common Names Name Generator, it’s more likely to be Tom Reynolds.

  81. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Pink Hawaiian shirt, black shorts and orange leggings for the lead baddie. Purple Hawaiian shirt for his 2nd in command, and generic white for the hench-thugs. I can imagine the Lieutennant secretly scheming, hoping and plotting for the day that he finally dons the pink, black and orange. And on that day, we shall see the real him.

  82. Voshkod
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#54): Very nice, but perhaps a little too on the nose? One wonders if the poster isn’t a ” 35 year old web designer from Park Slope” dreaming dark dreams of Mark Trail.

  83. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#79): I’d put Mark-the-known-puncher on the plane. His Fists-O-Justice are registered as lethal weapons by the FAA.

  84. Hogenmogen
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#82): And reading Mark Trail is about as grating as hearing about someone else’s dreams. Why do you think shrinks cost so much per hour?

  85. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#3): Indeed, never show grits in Act I unless they’re going to swapped for drugs in Act III.

    @Chareth Cutestory (#5), @pugfuggly (#11), et al.: That’s neither Burt Reynold nor Tom Selleck. It’s Sean Connery.

    @Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#12): Indeed, Mary is a genius of concern. No matter how small the problem, or how little business of hers it is, she is always truly, deeply concerned for you, much in the same way that a street preacher is concerned for your immortal soul.

    @555 95472 (#58): Well, obviously “dog” was code for the letter writer and “howl at the moon” was a metaphor for the angst caused by the Problem of Evil. Remember, kids, Mary/Wendy always knows what your problem is, even if you don’t.

  86. geogreg
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#82): I think that we are all characters in Mark Trail‘s dreams. As he is fishing for bonefish SOMEWHERE in the southern part of the Caribbean, he wonders why he has been dreaming again about strangers making fun of his life using some strange electronic contraption. But, being Mark Trail, those thoughts soon leave his mind, to be replaced by thoughts of pancakes.

  87. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @geogreg (#86): Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Mark Trail Lost Forest wgah’nag

  88. jwright
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    love is… a sportsman’s double!

  89. Walker of Dog
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#54): This is the beginning of a novel posted in blog form, correct? When does the Brooklynite develop his pancake obsession? Is it before or after his genitals fall off?

    @Hogenmogen (#63): You catch more passports with honey.

    MT: Mark: “Between your luxuriant, hypnotic mustache and that kicky pink ascot, I would give you the passport to my heart, if I was capable of any type of sexual arousal.”

    RMMD: Rex: “Fine, I’ll treat your wife for twenty clams. No – thirty clams! Wait – thirty clams, two lobsters, and your wristwatch!”

    MW Awkward – Jim was addressing that tasty carton of 2% Holstein Red Udder.
    “Dawn, speaking of opening up, a little help?”

  90. Duke of Earl Grey
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    I suppose a shape-shifting alien could do worse than using 1970′s Burt Reynolds as a template.

  91. terrapin
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#39): Notice I didn’t say “competent doctor”.

  92. geogreg
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#87): Then Doc gazed into the eyes of Rusty and was reduced to a gibbering state, never again to live in the world as we know it, only consuming pancakes at the altar of the Great Dog Andy.

  93. Dood
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Does Bill Ellis get to say tomorrow, “Yeah, I gotcher passports right here, pal”?

  94. Uncle Lumpy
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Buck up, Josh. It’s the Internet — nobody knows you’re a dog.

  95. Uncle Lumpy
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Marvin — Hey, if we swapped the Internet connections of “Dr. Dog” and “Ask Wendy”, how long would it take their readers to notice?

  96. terrapin
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61):Thanks a lot! I thought I knew who I was going to vote for. Now I can’t decide between the Watery Tart and the Corgi-in-a-Pig Costume.

  97. Voshkod
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#87): What, now we’re on the Trail of Markulhu? In his log house, in the forest lost, plaid Markulhu eats pancakes. He is a master of the beasts, beyond the petty lusts and appetites of men (except for the whole pancake thing). Those around him, his servitors, are soulless and misshapen. He has but one mouth that you can see, but yet his body speaks from many places. Men, grow facial hair and stand before him to be punched. Women, prepare your pink blouses. Markulhu, your world awaits.

  98. Wayne
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Marvin — My first reaction is “on the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, unless you tell them,” but what I really want to say is “Dr. Dog” is the name of a real, and fairly well-known, rock band. Do they know about this?

  99. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @geogreg (#92): Ah, yes, “The Case of Tom ‘Doc’ Davis,” one of my faves. Have you read “The Punchour Out of Space” or “The Shouter in Darkness”? Good stuff, that.

  100. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: I’ve finally figured it out. This is less a comic strip about money-and-power-hungry upwardly mobile singles than a subtle advertisement for chiropractors across the nation.

    Archie has finally worked its way around to this century. I can’t wait to see Jughead’s alt-Archie career stocking Redboxes in Riverdale.

    9 Chickweed Lane: I’m just going to say it. If people skipped the easy cynicism and, you know, expected that their politicians do better, they might – you know – do better. And while we’re on the subject of onanistic cartoonists, why is that fairy lighting the center of dude’s pipe? And what possible justification could you have for a fairy sitting on a dude’s lap, lighting his pipe? No, really. I have no earthly idea why anyone other than Brook McEldowney should feel interested in his wet dreams. Perhaps I’m missing the point of Pibgorn.

    Dennis the Menace: Aw, that’s sweet, Dennis. Unfortunately, God is jealous and vengeful, inflicting suffering unto the third generation, so stay away from Mr. Wilson after the third scotch, okay?

    Judge Parker: No negotiator I know would announce himself as the best in the business. On the other hand, Avery’s strategy is probably to keep things going until either the salt mine collapses or Bubba succumbs to emphysema, whichever comes first.[*]

    Mark Trail: This is a lot funnier if you read it in Zap Brannigan’s voice: “WE’LL ASK THE SEXY QUESTIONS!” (To seagull) “Kip, get their passports and make ready my shiny, fuschia velour Hawaiian shirt for tonight’s festivities.”

    Mary Worth: “Sometimes it can be painful to talk. On the other hand…OH FUCK!!!”

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: 1. Stay away from the clams, Rex and June, if you know what’s good for you. 2. A man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Is there a doctor in the house?” The man goes…

  101. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Aw, nuts. It’s Kif, not Kip. Damn these dangerously sexy typing fingers!

  102. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#94): *snurk*

    well meme-played, well played indeed.

  103. No Stupid Bear
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth has really inspired me to help others. I’m going to become a volunteer hospital lunch eater and grounds stroller.

  104. Lenoxus
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    A simple improvement of the Marvin joke would be: “Dogs are actually howling to Pluto.” Done. I’m assuming it’s a joke on Disney’s Pluto (who does not have dogs “on” him, though given that he lives in the same world as “person-dog” Goofy, I guess anything’s possible). And there’s no need to bring “social networking” into these. PLEASE!

  105. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn – Dude, when you are too high to get the match actually over the bowl you are trying to light, maybe you should just save the rest of your stash until morning, finish masturbating to your fairy porn, and go to sleep.

  106. Jumbo37364
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    So the dog can go up and type at the computer and nobody gives a shit? It doesn’t surprise me, especially since more disgusting things have happened in that house.

  107. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Jumbo37364 (#106): That’s really a dog? I assumed it was Marvin’s older brother who decided it was better to impersonate a dog for the rest of his life than learn how to use a toilet.

  108. Downpuppy
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#104): The search for the Perfect Social Network Joke is the grail quest of the hanging on by their fingernails cartoonists. If they can be The One who finally manages to get a laugh out of it, they think they’ll be as rich as Zuckerberg & as famous as Jim Davis.

    I would happily pronounce one Funny to put them out of our misery.

  109. Fashion Police
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    We would be consumed with outrage that Mr. Les Moore is wearing a tuxedo for his daytime nuptials, except that it is all so predictable. Alas.

  110. seismic-2
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn still can’t figure out how to get her milk carton open. Actually, neither can Jim, but at least he has a legitimate excuse.

    RMMD: Saint Dead Lisa’s ghost is away acting as matron of honor at Les’s wedding, so the park bench needs to claim a new soul to replace her. However, Rex will rush in with magic smelling salts to revive her, and her husband will be so grateful that he will immediately give the Morgans another boat. Soon the RMMD navy will have a flotilla of vessels anchored in every body of water throughout the continental USA. Lottery winner Dex still won’t get to go fishing with them, though, unless somebody takes both him and Rusty. Crankshaft’s heat death of the universe will happen before that does, of course.

  111. balthazar
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#33): cayla has run off. she’s been replaced by some white zombie woman in black makeup. seriously, it strains every bit of credibility that this woman does not turn and run from this ridiculous twerp.

  112. tallyHO
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    “Let’s say you’re a person who writes jokes, on the Internet! If that were the case, there would be few things more harrowing than a cartoon dog sitting at a desk, taking a desultory slurp of coffee, and then tapping out some terrible humor-like prose, all while sporting a numb, heavy-lidded facial expression. BRRRRRRR.

    Well, yes. A dog that is capable of such things would be some serious competition for some and the go to social networking dog that is popular on Facebowl, or whatever dogs use to talk with each….?????????

    Oh, no you don’t, dog! Don’t get me started legitimizing social networking dogs!
    Anyone who remembers the early days of the Web knows that dogs and fetching and dogpiles were all the rage. Then eventually, there was pets.com and almost litter-al sock puppets! (ok. hand puppets with “microphones” that were derivative of late night comedy sketches).

    Dang you Social Networking, Coffee Slurping, Droopy-eyed, Non-plussed Dog!
    You remind me of someone.

    slurp.

  113. AhClem
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#109):
    I propose a swap: Les Moore wears evil-Tom-Sellick’s pink Hawaiian shirt for the wedding, and future-punchee Tom wears Les’ tuxedo in the boat. If nothing else, it would make both strips infinitely more interesting.

  114. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#112): Facebark. ;-)

  115. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Jumbo37364 (#106): So the dog can go up and type at the computer and nobody gives a shit?

    I’m afraid that your cynicism is entirely misplaced in this case. Marvin may be guilty of many things, but not giving a shit is definitely not one of them.

  116. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#110):

    Soon the RMMD navy will have a flotilla of vessels anchored in every body of water throughout the continental USA…

    And once they start seasteading in earnest, their mustachioed lackeys demand passports from vacationers and recreationers. “You have entered the United Seas of Rex, sir. What? No entry visa?!? MRSA the motherfucker!!!”

    IT IS FLESH EATY!”

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#114): Facebutt?

  117. bats :[
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

  118. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    RxMD: I have the sneaking suspicious that the Beachfront Brothel storyline is about to be derailed by Food Poison Follies, or: You Shouldn’t Be Able to Smell Clams from the Street, or: Pink Stink Ain’t What You Think.

  119. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#116): MyTail, but most pooches have gone to FaceBark.

  120. bats :[
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): I loff eet!

    @TheDiva (#62): re FW: I suspect this was a *fashionable* (YMMV) fix of the gown issues from Monday’s strip…this looks like the right armhole is now the neckhole of the dress.
    Eh. Will the a-hole waiting at the altar even notice?

    @Hogenmogen (#63): Mark often wears red flannel shirts. I think that’s the appropriate garb post-Labor Day in LoFo.
    (The only reason I know this is I have done way too many mashups…)

    San Diego is a haven for retired folks; a number of new apartments/condos are being built east of Hillcrest neighborhood, a few miles from the beaches. I foresee Rex ‘n’ June instrumental in evicting the wacky kids from Junior’s place and having its rightful owner transforming it in an apartment complex for wacky oldsters, with plenty of benches to convulse upon…

  121. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#119): I hear Turdpress is pretty popular too.

  122. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    JP – Avery really does suffer from a Master of the Universe Complex. I think that’s very cool considering his lack of height. As a successful businessman, he is used to being in charge of every situation he’s in.

    Sometimes guys with MUC get thrown off jets (Alec Baldwin), are asked to leave restaurants or simply get beat up. But sometimes their ability to take charge works and they get what they want.

    So, what will it be? Will Avery get kneecapped, or will he walk out unscathed with his camera and pix of Old Hardy?

    The great thing about this storyline is that I really don’t know. The LAST thing I want is for Sam Putter to roll in like the cavalry to rescue Avery. He deserves better than that.

  123. Gringo
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wait, isn’t that dude with the skinny mustache and outrageous accent Mark’s canuck buddy Jacques LaCock or JOhnny LePew or whatever his name is?

  124. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    MT – Andy Dog will jump at Zapata Man and all the henchmen will throw their weapons into the water. Mark will then tie them up and set them adrift on their boats, to starve or be eaten by alligators. Just a matter of time, my friends.

  125. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Bitsy appears to have better command of a keyboard than does Mary Worth. Just kinda curious about who buys their dog a coffee cup.

  126. treedweller
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Those guys checking up on MT like to boat open-shirted, but never fail to put on the passport-checking turtleneck before beginning official business.

  127. tim
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    It has just hit me —– Mark Trail must be some kind of global druglord. he keeps running into these drugdealers whereever he goes and the frequency just can’t be accidental or lack of imagination by his narrators.

  128. Peanut Gallery
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    MW – That’s odd. Since the last time we were here, they’ve switched to RED MILK. Was there a surplus at the blood bank?

  129. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    MW – Can we get the guys from Big Bang Theory to sit down for lunch with Dawn and Jim? Liven things up a little? Even Sheldon is more life-like than these two jamokes.

  130. AndyL
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    I love how Mark Trail is apparently contractually obligated to present at least one animal per day. “Here we are in the middle of a dramatic story … and … SEAGULL FOR NO REASON!!!”

  131. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#123): It couldn’t be Johnny Malotte, because he lives in Canada, but good catch nonetheless because it could be his Cajun cousin, Jonny Mallote.

  132. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#122): The LAST thing I want is for Sam Putter to roll in like the cavalry to rescue Avery. He deserves better than that.

    Well, then he should have held out for a role in a different strip, rather than accepting the first offer.

    Sam will appear just as Avery is finalizing the deal, be hailed as a hero, and then ride off into the sunset, having done absolutely nothing to contribute other than to show up. Hence, his riches.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#121): pee-mail is sooooo oldschool.

  134. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#133): Yeah, everyone’s got an iBone these days.

  135. Droopy Says
    October 16th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Bill Ellis: “Why doesn’t Andy attack the men with guns?”

    Mark Trail: “Andy is outnumbered by the men with guns!”

    Bill Ellis: “You should have brought along several more large animals!”

    Mark Trail: “I wanted to do that but you told me we didn’t need no stinking badgers!”

  136. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#yy15):

    “I wanna go to the Where It’s At Club.”

    It’s just down the block from The Church of What’s Happening Now.

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#134): and a Rollir account.

    <a title="I was gonna go with iPaw, but you beat me to it ;-)[*]

  138. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#132):

    I know, I know. Sometimes the last thing I want is exactly what I get.

    Maybe Bea’s tit will get caught in a wringer (wouldn’t that be cool? To see it happen, literally?) and Sam will rescue her. I could handle that.

  139. Dale
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#120):

    FUNKY -

    I wondered about the dress. Is an off-the-shoulder (not the same as strapless) dress ever appropriate for a bride at the ceremony?
    This is like the stereotypical drunk guy whose jacket keeps slipping off one side.

  140. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Zapata Man has a hairdo/stache/burns look kjust like the one I sported in my high school senior picture…..in 1971.

  141. Liam
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G-So that’s what Margo’s been up to the past few days. She’s been changing her outfit.

    Archie-You forgot dvds.

  142. Dale
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#8):

    MARK TRAIL -

    What you said makes complete sense. BUT, the law probably requires that they have their passports on them. This always gives the cops a legalistic opportunity to shake you down.

    [Would you walk around downtown Arizona without your papers?]

  143. Chaze
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    A3G – isn’t being called a creature considered an insult? I think Margot might have heard “demon” instead of “creature,” which is why she thought Evan was referring to her.

    By the way, Evan seems to be suffering from Marfan Syndrome in the first panel, but is miraculously cured in panel two.

  144. Les Moore Fan Club, LLC
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    My heart is breaking into a thousand jagged pieces! But I can’t stay away. Just look at that sweet face. It’s tearing me up inside. Or maybe it’s the chocolate I had for breakfast. But that adorable puppy-face-look of devotion should be for me, ME, instead of Witch Who Must Not Be Named.

    And doesn’t that dress make her butt look fat!!

    Barely hanging on,
    Susan Smith, President

  145. Downpuppy
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#122): JP -There is no logic at all to the strip now. A grizzly bear wandering in ready to nap is just as plausible as the Sam/Bea rescue . So why not something really childish? I’d like them to get all 3 tied up, then rescued by a commando in full stormtrooper armor.

    Peaches, of course.

  146. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 16th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    FW: So that’s what it looks like when one of these characters tries to smile without smirking.

    *shudder*

  147. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#100): 9 Chickweed Lane: I’m just going to say it. If people skipped the easy cynicism and, you know, expected that their politicians do better, they might – you know – do better. And while we’re on the subject of onanistic cartoonists, why is that fairy lighting the center of dude’s pipe? And what possible justification could you have for a fairy sitting on a dude’s lap, lighting his pipe? No, really. I have no earthly idea why anyone other than Brook McEldowney should feel interested in his wet dreams. Perhaps I’m missing the point of Pibgorn.

    Very much agreed on the first point.

    As to the second, I think it’s that McE is both voyeur and someone who gets off having an audience. It’s the only way to explain why he wants to perform his wank-fantasies in public (and gets so angry when people dare break into his fantasy with rude comments).

  148. Alison
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Yes, Luann, do attempt to change the entire personality of a child you’re stuck babysitting for an hour or so once every few months. I’m sure she feels close to you and respects your opinion.

    “Baby Blues”: I hate this sexist strip and it’s never-ending “Zoe likes clothes and Hammie likes mud and weapons and blood and guts!!!!” punchlines. See, she’s a GIRL and he’s a BOY, ha ha ha ha this is such a funny joke every single day.

    “Mary Worth”: So it’s okay for Dawn to be practically suicidal with depression because her ex left her, but when Jim cries because his sister died and he feels responsible, Dawn is all, “Omigod Jim, I hope you went to therapy! Your behavior is so worrisome!” WTF.

  149. casino LF
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Has any real doctor ever looked as nonplussed as Rex generally does when he is forced to emergency-save someone?

  150. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#148): In Dawn’s defense, she was shooting a lot of smack before and after Dave, “Life Is Brutal” being the particular batch making its way through Charterstone at the time.

  151. Jumbo37364
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#107):

    Even worse, it’s his mentally ill uncle who was taken in after being discharged from the insane asylum. Hell, Marvin’s family lets anyone in. Who’s next, hobos?

  152. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Jumbo37364 (#151): I’m sure if we tried really hard, and hated ourselves even harder, we could go through all 30 years of Marvin and find him and Bitsy dressed as hobos.

  153. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#152):

    Why wait? I’m sure there is a baby hobo with a bindle for his diapers at Marvin’s daycare. Marvin likes to meet up to share a swig from his hip flask after a hard day’s nap.

  154. Erich Clapton
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Les Moore Fan Club, LLC (#144): I dunno, Sue. When I saw that view, I immediately thought “Nice butt!” I guess I really am ready to be classified as a beefwit.

  155. Chyron HR
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#132): Sam will appear just as Avery is finalizing the deal, be hailed as a hero, and then ride off into the sunset, having done absolutely nothing to contribute other than to show up. casually say, “Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I narced on the nice old couple growing pot next door? You should have seen granny’s face when the cops dragged her away. Ha ha, good times.”

  156. JuneBizzle
    October 16th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Now let’s you jus’ drop dem pants.”

  157. casino LF
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    FW: Settlepocalypse II: Settlepocalypse Now. The horror … the horror.

  158. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @casino LF (#157): Here comes the bride,
    All dead inside…

  159. Les Moore Fan Club, LLC
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

  160. Illustrator Steve
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#34): “Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t need to show you any stinking badges!”

    Treasure of the Sierra bonefish staring Tom Sellack as the bandito.

  161. Dale
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL -

    Using American (USA!, USA!) TV as the solid reference that it is, pink/red shirt guy could be the top detective of any large police force.

    “gentlemen” is just cop-talk. “The gentleman knocked the old lady down and took her purse.”

    The officers may have shot him 18 times. We will issue a report in a week. They need to meet with each other, their supervisors, and a bunch of lawyers in order to get all the facts right.

  162. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 16th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#158):

    Here comes the bride,
    All dead inside,
    Thanks to Xanax
    And Thalidomide.

    Here comes the groom,
    Smirk in full bloom,
    Thank God it’s outside,
    Or he’d clear the room.

    And here comes ol’Funky,
    Les’s faithful flunky,
    He says he gave up drinking,
    But he’s been sipping a Brass Monkey.

  163. Illustrator Steve
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    MT – It’s nice to see that no matter what acting role Tom Selleck plays he is always very polite and well mannered.

  164. Illustrator Steve
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    MT – “I believe you gentelmen came from that big yacht!”
    “Why yes, we did. And I believe you fellows bought your green boats and green outboard motors from the same store we did! Sure is a small world, ain’t it?”

  165. sully
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    ‘Dr. Dog’, being some kind of lame spin-off strip of ‘Marvin’, shouldn’t the good doctor at least hang a steaming shit on his keyboard in the last panel? You know, for continuity-sake, and all?

  166. Illustrator Steve
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Now, will you fellows be nice enough to show me your bonefish fishing licences…please?”
    (Mark, Bill and Andy): “Fishing Licence? We ain’t got no fishing licence! We don’t need no fishing licence! We don’t have to show you no STINKING FISHING LICENCE!”

  167. bats :[
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#148): re BaBl: keep the faith…maybe it will be revealed that baby Wren is actually a hermaphrodite (what the hell kind of name is Wren?) –hijinkx are certain to ensue!

  168. Chance
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    So, “Ask Dr. Dog,” is it? I never thought anyone ever would say this, but I demand the return of “Belly Laffs.”

  169. KJ
    October 16th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    I hope that, before I die, someone refers to me as “festively dressed, splendidly mustached”. Unfortunately, I am female, so probably won’t be splendidly mustached until after menopause.

  170. tallyHO
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#166):

    I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the pirates has a t-shirt that says:

    BONEFISH INSPECTOR

  171. commodorejohn
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @KJ (#169): We will think of you as splendidly-mustached in spirit, at least.

  172. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @tim (#127):

    the frequency just can’t be accidental or lack of imagination by his narrators.

    Yes, it can. The latter part, anyway.

  173. Amos Snarkadder
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Luann Okay, this time let’s have Luann fall asleep in the laundry basket. Then Brad, Toni, and TJ can break down the walls trying to find her.
    What am I thinking? We all know no one would bother looking for Luann.

  174. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#135): I will no doubt be driven out of the University of Wisconsin Alumni Association for saying so, but badgers aren’t really that big. They’re also cute and sweet-tempered. Just put your hand up there near their muzzle, see for yourself.

  175. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

  176. Sequitur
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Baka. Baka Gaijin! Better watch out!

  177. Amos Snarkadder
    October 16th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#75):

    FW – Look at the faces of all the people gathered for this so-called “joyous” occasion. I’ve seen happier expressions on Death Row.

    Death Row – I think that’s on the groom’s side.

  178. Sequitur
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#170):

    I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the pirates has a t-shirt that says:

    BONEFISH INSPECTOR

    And underpants that say, “BONEFISH.”

  179. Amos Snarkadder
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#27):

    Cranky- I call bullshit. Les Moore’s wedding is going on right now, which means the whole town has come out to honor him. There’s no way that Montoni’s is open today.

    Crankshaft cruised by and stole the main course for the wedding reception.

  180. A Woman of a Certain Age
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @KJ (#169): “…probably won’t be splendidly mustasched until after menopause”
    Be careful what you wish for.

  181. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Lord, what a day. I never caught up. I never got a chance to do diddly. Wah. Fail. Oh, well, tomorrow is another one of those things.

  182. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#175): At least that comedian had the courage to get up on stage and perform live, before possible critics. Can’t say that about McE, who seems to desire all the benefits of writing for the public, without any of the negatives that go along with, you know, writing for the public. Who have opinions and stuff.

  183. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#175): I mean, if it were just me comparing my own admittedly cowardly ass to his risk-taking, that would be one thing. But it’s seeing other comics artists, many of whom are astonishingly creative and talented, ignored and struggling to pay their bills, and getting all kind of shit for it, and yet they go on making art, reaching out and engaging with their fans, and struggling on without even 1/10th of the hubris he exhibits, and it just makes me mad that he thinks his strips are so much better than everyone else’s that he’s allowed to exist above the fray while also getting to complain about it.

    Shut the f*ck up, dude, indeed.

  184. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#182): I knew one blogger who got so sick of the bullshit in his comment section that he took it out. No more comments. Don’t like it? Tough shit. He wasn’t doing it for the money, didn’t really care what his readers thought about his posts. Some dedicated fans actually went so far as to establish a second site to mirror the blog and provide the missing commentary.

    Brooke McEldowney will not get the same treatment, unless it’s from us.

  185. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#183):

    he’s allowed to exist above the fray while also getting to complain about it.

    Sounds like a columnist or three I’ve known…

  186. tallyHO
    October 16th, 2012 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    Man! Everytime I load this page, I see that Mark Trail comic and think: “Looking suave Mark Trai…oh yeah, that’s Burt Reynolds…Pirate Burt Reynolds.”

    (i think it may be another escaped Mark Clone that is capable of facial and hair and mutton chops but not chest hair (panel three also makes it seem like he sunburns easily, a la classical rednecks in their strapped t-shirts)

    Mark Trail Clones can signify an impending Epic Battle of the…oh who am I trying to kid. It will just end up in Rock ‘em, Sock ‘em, Sic ‘em, Pounce on ‘em Mark and Andy Action.

  187. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL — At least beefwits have wits.

  188. Sequitur
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#187): And beef.

  189. Droopy Says
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#174): Yes, but we’re talking about Taxidae foetens, the giant (what else?) Lofo badger.

  190. Scratch
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Mark: little did Mark know, he had stumbled upon a porno film shot. The 70′s mustache gave it away

  191. GrafSpee
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#51): Unfortunately, Ink Pen is ending its syndicated run. See the short article here.

  192. Sgt. Stoned
    October 16th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: These baddies are no doubt evil communist customs agents from communist Cuba communistically targeting capitalists successful enough to own a yacht.

  193. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    MT — It was nice of the color monkeys to hastily add a pink dickey just in case Bentover Baddy might bend over further and shock us by revealing a nipple.

  194. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

  195. Sequitur
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#191): I notice Ed Power (writer of My Cage and fellow Curmudgeon) left a comment.

  196. Alison
    October 16th, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#167):
    “What the hell kind of name is Wren?”

    Or Hammie, for that matter!

    I’ve seen the name spelled R-E-N a few times, which seems off to me, since I’m guessing the name comes from from the bird.

    I do hope Wren grows up to not be another stereotype, but I’m pretty sure she will never age beyond the baby stage, since babies are cute and provide lots and lots of (dumb, gross, cheap) poop jokes.

  197. Poteet
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#167): I’m old enough to remember a book called “Wren” about a girl named Karen Killilea, written by her mother. “Wren” was Karen’s nickname. Personally, I would wait for such a nickname to evolve rather than saddle a baby with it. I like wrens a lot, but being named for a really loud bird that eats a lot of spiders and never seems to shut up? I got teased enough as it was.

  198. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    @GrafSpee (#191): frgnrgnBARSTiCHez.

    I liked that strip.

    MyCage, Cow & Boy, Ink Pen, Preteena, all go down.

    yet Overboard, Reply All, and all the zombie strips continue.

    I’m having a buggy whip moment, my friends, I truly am.

  199. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

  200. Sequitur
    October 16th, 2012 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

  201. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    Marvin’s favorite bedtime story.

  202. KimberlyRose
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#148):

    “I hate this sexist strip and it’s never-ending “Zoe likes clothes and Hammie likes mud and weapons and blood and guts!!!!” punchlines. See, she’s a GIRL and he’s a BOY, ha ha ha ha this is such a funny joke every single day.”

    What’s bizarre about it is that she was originally a holy terror, causing chaos and making huge messes and all. At some point they did this complete about-face and Zoe turned into a stereotypical girly-girl. It was one extreme to the other.

  203. Droopy Says
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: “Today Vegas, tomorrow the world!”

    Creepy Les: Whoah! Who invited the Ajax White Knight to the wedding? Because if there’s one thing you don’t expect, it’s for a reboot to happen literally on-camera.

    Family Circus: Go buck yourself, Jeffy.

    Jugs Parker: So will Avery turn out to be a big-time drug lord, pretending to be a movie mogul as a means to hide his source of income, and buying crappy scripts as part of a money-laundering operation? Or is he just naturally gullible? Both explanations fit the facts.

    Flatulence Alley: Please let that sign be a case of foreshadowing, pleasepleasepleaseplease.

    Mark Trail: The State Department really should reconsider that policy of declaring a citizen’s monetary value on the passport–wait, they don’t? Mark Trail has led me astray in its description of international travel? Who’d have thought?

  204. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#186): I keep seeing Burt Reynolds, too. It’s like one of those weird holiday cartoon episodes from the 70s and early 80s.

  205. Alison
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @KimberlyRose (#202):
    I didn’t know that. That is indeed odd, and those older strips actually sound a lot more interesting (if “Baby Blues” could ever be called interesting!). Myself, the first time I heard of this strip was when there was a “Baby Blues” cartoon on TV a few years back and I think it only lasted a few episodes. Don’t remember the kids’ personalities back then. I saw the cartoon once and as I recall it was even lamer than the strip. It was something about how Wanda was ashamed of herself for some minor parenting mistake she had made, and she had this whole elaborate fantasy about how she was going to be put in jail and have to be searched by a cop and go through a metal detector before her kids visited. Really dumb stuff.

  206. Gladly, the cross-eyed Bear
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    FW: The video of Cayla’s head exploding at the instant she said her vows, dubbed the “Wedding Zapruder video”, went viral in the intertubes.

  207. Stinkfoot
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    Ask Dr. Dog is a concept that only an artist truly alienated from his mode of production could come up with. Consider then that the Disney Channel is currently airing a show called Dog With a Blog and you have as bitter an indictment of late capitalism as you can find.

  208. Comcis Fan
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn, Jim hasn’t figured this out yet but you remind him of his sister. You might as well move along to the gentleman behind you, Professor McHairy, who seems to be lost in a cup of despair.

    FW: Did someone fire a paintball at the bride, or is this the orb of Lisa’s ghost come to personally bless the union?

  209. Comcis Fan
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    MW II: Dawn is flaunting her two-handed-sandwich-eating ability in front of her new, one-armed, one-and-only volunteeree soul mate. I suppose we can’t expect much more from a graduate of the Wilbur Weston School of Sandwich Consumption.

  210. Droopy Says
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    FW: Isn’t that Stalker Susan at the wedding? Maybe she’s having a delusional moment where she imagines herself in Fishface’s place. Two insane women inexplicably fighting over the same worthless man? It’s like a Lifetime Women’s Network movie, only without the comic relief of those Trojan Vibrator commercials . . . wait, I forgot about Les. It’s like a Lifetime Women’s Network movie with product placement.

  211. Mr. O'Malley
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#196): I saw a Chinese movie in which one of the characters was named Ren, so it can be a name. Or it could be short for Renata.

    Wren, well if you’re going to name your offspring after species of birds, I guess it’s better than Sapsucker. Seems like an odd name though.

  212. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#211):

    Did he pal around with a slow-witted cat named Stimpy?

  213. gleeb
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    Beetle: The tree-loving is definitely a theme. I’d never have noticed if not for you, Josh.

    ‘bean: The return of Khan! Sure, he doesn’t even get a chair, but he’s there, off to the side. And we find that Jessica is just as good at her chosen craft as is Bull, Mopey Pete, or Lisa’s oncologist. A town full of incompetents, that’s Cancerdeathville.

    Rex: Well, she’s no fun.

    Dick: Fine, the two stories have met up. Can we please get back to the Moon?

    Pearls: How fresh and original. Not only is it unprecedented to adapt a commercial campaign, but to have Rat be, in a surprising turn, an egotist and for goat to be exasperated are unknown heretofore. Kudos for keeping it new, Pastis!

  214. CanuckDownSouth
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    3 days into the wedding, 3 days of deliberately blocking Cayla’s face. Could even Batiuk find it hard to depict her as happy about settling for Les?

    What if he really is going for a “big reveal” with her having Lisa’s face – at least for a moment when Les sees her at the altar? (I’ve been wondering whether Dead Lisa will be there somehow to give her blessing.) The scary thing is that I believe Batiuk would think it was sweet and touching, rather than creeptacular.

  215. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#214):

    Good point, I hadn’t thought of the previous two faceless days, just today’s Shining Moment.

    I suppose he could go two ways with this:

    1 – It really will turn out to be Lisa’s face that we see. This is both the most likely and most creepy choice. Wrong on so many levels it will take all of the new thread to discuss.

    2- We see Cayla with the same face she has been making for every other strip over the past year. But, we will have to address in-strip the fact that she looks like someone on suicide watch (or, a 14-year-old at Super Happy Teen Fun World – still managing to be miserable – but that is another rant entirely!). That would be consistent with the whole year of her looking miserable, and could lead to a “you can’t marry me – you are still hung up on your dead wife” development, which would be far too interesting and non-laudatory of Les to actually happen.

  216. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Archie-Who cares if your boyfriend is endowed in the brain department when he is endowed in other areas.

  217. davey
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    MT: Panel one, meh. Panel two, meh. Panel three, mustache guy suddenly interrupts his own ironic customs officer-style demand to double over and plead for his life as Mark’s hair-raising Easter Island death gaze deforms his back, mangles his hand and melts all the capillaries in his torso? That one’s alright.

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