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Your courtly Caribbean criminal refers to his victims as “mister”

Beetle Bailey, 10/17/12

If you were seeing this strip out of context, you might think that its implications about Killer’s notoriously aggressive sexual advances are really quite dark, with Miss Buxley’s worries about the “tree” being “hurt” being some kind of protective psychological displacement mechanism. But longtime Beetle Bailey readers know that it probably just has something to do with the fact that both Killer and Miss Buxley like to hump up on trees, constantly.

Mark Trail, 10/17/12

There’s a lot to say here about global income inequality, which means that someone who considers themselves middle- or even working class in the U.S. lives a life of unimaginable privilege compared to most in the developing world; or we could discuss the ambiguity that arises when employees have access to corporate luxury assets, and what this says about their wealth in practical terms. Mostly, though, I just wanted to put this comic here so that every embittered worker in the various dying wordsmithing industries can grab panel two and use it as their computer desktop wallpaper.

Apartment 3-G, 10/17/12

Guys, I’m … I’m beginning to suspect that Margo may not be very good at running a publicity agency.

208 responses to “Your courtly Caribbean criminal refers to his victims as “mister””

  1. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh, poor Evan, look at how Margo simply shits over your every attempt to impress her. What’s that? You found her a new up-and-coming client about score a big role? SPLUT!

    FC: Fiddle a few letters, and you’ll have unspeakable filth.

    HiLo: Just give it time, Trixie. In 30-40 years, people won’t even venture outside during daytime for fear of third-degree sunburns.

    MW: Oh, my! Judging by her wide eyes, dilated pupils, and moist, parted lips, I do believe Dawn’s about to have her first meddlegasm! Our little biddy’s growing up!

    S-M: Ever notice that Spider-Man shows up wherever J. Jonah Jameson happens to go? Hmmmmm…

    And finally, what’s up with Darkgate? It’s not updating certain strips, or it updates 1-2 days late. Anyone know of any other comics caching sites?

  2. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Dawn: I want to help you every way I can.
    Jim: You already have (thought balloon) helped every way you can …… will she take the hint? …. oh well

  3. Terry in Maryland
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark, honestly, don’t give your passport to any old yahoo who comes up to you and asks for it.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Rule 34 dictates that someone, somewhere has already blanked out the word bubbles in today’s strip and inserted their own lecherous outdoor sex BDSM dialogue. That’s just the price we pay for having an Internet.

  5. wossname
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    A3G – And Number One on the list of things no rising Hollywood star has ever said to a publicist: “I’m so grateful to be your client!”

    FW – OMG, Dead Saint Dead Lisa is vaporizing Cayla’s head!

    Phantom – You already had company, Kit, namely the lioness, who’s been watching you from two feet away. I suppose we could hope the lioness will now eat the evil colonialist mine guys.

    RMMD – He’s going to lay her on the ground? An unconscious old lady? Filth and depravity! Won’t someone think of the children?

    SlylockNothing in that picture begins with S! Scolumns? Spigs? Smap? Svolkswagen Sbus?

    DT – So Mammy lives in the Big City? Or were Measles and Bookie dealing smack out in Hootin’ Holler? Neither seems likely.

    FC – Judging by the look on Thel’s face, the “horsie” is about to buck Jeffy through a plate glass window.

    MW – Here’s how bad the current sluggish excuse for a narrative has gotten: When I looked at Darkgate this morning, I honestly couldn’t remember if it was the same strip I saw yesterday. Went to PI, found that there was a newer one – but it was just like the first one.

  6. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    A3G – Didn’t Margo just wake up one day and decide that now she was no longer the manager of an art gallery, but was instead the manager of a PR firm, despite having no prior experience or connections? So why is ‘Skyler’ here just soooo grateful to be accepted as her client? At the least, she is one of her first clients ever – and not likely to remain so for long.

  7. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    MW-Every time I’ve seen Dawn eating she is always eating a sandwich. Truly she is Wilbur’s daughter.

    JP-That’s what she said.

    BB-That’s more wood than Beetle ever gave her.

    A3G-”Listen Evan I don’t care if this is one of our clients you will be coming with me right now.”

  8. AhClem
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW – After weeks of planning the wedding and dealing with Les’ smug dickishness, Cayla finally realizes who she is about to marry. That would explain her head going nova.

  9. Dood
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Tree-humping is this year’s planking.

  10. Arabella
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    FW: I interpreted the scene as a bird crapping on the video viewer. But Cayla’s head exploding works too.

  11. Dood
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “No, look more carefully and you will see the ‘rich’ box is definitely not checked on our passports.”

  12. S.Stout
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    MT: “I don’t have any money, but what I do have is a horny wife and an eager lad that I’ve grown very tired of. Perhaps we can both help each other out here.”

    Luann: Lead protagonist continues to berate six year old. Evans, I think it’s time to retire.

    BB: Killer Diller…and Martha Mary Halftrack? This is just the twist that this strip needs!

  13. Marc
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#9): Tree humping sure beats Tebowing though.

  14. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    MT: ((goes and gets passport)) Hunh. What do you know—my passport does indeed have me labeled as a “FINANCIALLY SECURE BUT NOT AFFLUENT American.”

    MW: “Feel free to talk to me about anything—such as your sister, or your missing arm! I’ll just sit here and grasp my sammich with my two hands, which is one more hand than you have!”

    JP: Avery is a green-glassed, pudgy little goofball, but I still would like this strip to feature him, not Sam, from now on. They will, of course, continue to call it Judge Parker.

    (And wouldn’t it be a dumb move for Bubba to murder Avery? I mean, it’s not like he could get away with it, unless he paid off Sam with his current year’s pot profits—Oh. Wait.)

  15. The Waz
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    RMMD:Lady, you aren’t allowed to take up a whole bench. Selfish old biddy. Oooh….Hey June, now I have a seat AND a foot rest.

  16. Esther Blodgett
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    FW: It’s now obvious that Batiuk is deliberately not showing us Cayla’s face. I’m guessing when Les finally sees her, she’ll have Lisa’s face, and he’ll wake up in bed, gasping and drenched in sweat. Then he’ll grab an axe and chop off Cayla’s head. Then Cayla will wake up in bed, gasping and drenched in sweat. What happens next is anybody’s guess. As long as it involves blood and/or humiliation, I’m good.

  17. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    June Morgan in a daring one-piece bathing suit, talking about clams fails to excite the good doctor. Here is an old lady choking on her own vomit, and he’s about to do her in front of a dozen onlookers. Unconscious geriatric sex in public is a niche fetish reserved for a select few, it seems.

  18. Violet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    I briefly considered the idea that today’s Mary Worth might be working up to some kind of complex psychodrama wherein the tormented and delusional Jim becomes increasingly convinced that Dawn is actually his dead sister, with chilling results, but on second thought I thinks it’s far more likely leading to Dawn repeating the conversation verbatim to Mary over translucent pie.

  19. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    MT: Ok, we will give you money. How does $45 sound?

    Polite Moustache: Like an insult, sirs.

    MT: That is $45 each, you know. Lots of money for “Viva La Revolucion”.

    Beard: What is he talking about?

    MT: $60, and that’s as high as we go.

    Moustache: Mr. Trail, do you think this is still 1959?

    MT: Yes. Of course. Isn’t it on my passport?

  20. geekwhisperer
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail Our story of the man who dreams Mark Trail continues: He pedaled over the bridge to Manhattan, having left late and groggy. There were cops on the far end, arresting a guy or something. Always hard to tell with so many cops. He remembered the dream again. Why did Woodsy Guy always end up as the victim of so many crimes? Wasn’t the whole point of moving to the wilderness getting away from all the crime and violence in the city? But wherever Woodsy Guy went there was always someone pointing a gun at him, shipping or growing drugs, there were bankrobbers and murderers all over the forests and swamps Woodsy Guy traveled to. He shuddered under his light fall jacket. Having spent his whole life in the NY Metro he’d been mugged once or twice and had his place broken into, but he didn’t think he obsessed about crime more than anyone else. He surely didn’t to the point of dreaming obsessively about poaching. Poaching? Really? People do that in the 21st Century America? Rounding a corner to his office a mustachioed guy running a pastry cart grinned at him. The guy was wearing a bright pink Hawaiian shirt despite the October chill. He shuddered again.

  21. Marc
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    9CL- Sounds like a Brooke slogan. Fits right in with his “agree with me or you are unworthy to lick the shit off my shoes” platform that he lives his life according to.

    A3G- Margo doesn’t recognize Skyler because she has completely changed in appearance since the first time they met.

    Mark Trail- Shorts have not been invented in the MT universe have they? I’m just saying, if I was out on a boat, fishing in the middle of the Caribbean, I’d probably be wearing shorts. But not only are none them wearing shorts, Bill Ellis is wearing his clean white dress shirt and khakis from work. Not the ideal get up for fishing or being abducted by the palest, most polite Pirates of the Caribbean ever.

    Mary Woth- Dawn and Jim’s conversation seems to be driving the guy at the next table to contemplate suicide. Well either that or he’s really, really regretting his decision to shave a gap between his sideburns and beard.

    Funky- I’m sure everyone is on the edge of their seat just waiting to find out why we aren’t being allowed to see Cayla’s face. The most likely reason is that it’s going to be Dead Lisa’s head, but perhaps she’s turned into Medusa. It would make sense seeing how everyone in view seems to be dead. But out of the anonymous black couple, the deaf former band director, the one armed bandit, and the comic shop pedophile, only deaf Harry seems to be fully embracing the release from Westview that death is providing him.

    Luann- So a little girl is dumped on somebody she hardly knows because her Aunt, who was supposed to be watching her is a piece of shit. I’m sorry, who is the selfish one here; The 6 year old who gets bounced around like a ping pong ball and wants nothing more than to just watch Spongebob and not do some lazy teenager’s laundry, or the 17 year old who is attempting to enslave the little girl and is yelling at, demeaning, and calling the 6 year old names?

    DTM- Bart and Milhouse did it better.

    Family Circus- So many ways to take this, so little time.

  22. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m amazed at the turnaround here. At first, we find that Evan is of questionable intelligence and inept at PR. But then we meet Skyler, who hired a PR firm to not do any publicity. Then she fawns over Margo, whom she is paying to do nothing, as if Margo did her a favor by cashing checks. Margo, when introduced to a paying client, royally blows her off with “That’s nice, run along now.”

    So of the three, it turns out that EVAN is the smart one? Gaaahh.

  23. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    3-G – Margo’s so full of botox, she can only show emotion by bobbing her head. No doubt much of her attraction for Evan comes from his knowledge of just how developed those bobbing muscles are.

    Archie – Seen in context, Moose appears to have a very high opinion of himself.

    Curtis – Gunther gives free haircuts in March. And it’s FUNNY, DAMN IT.

  24. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Smirky -The bride looks terrifyingly radiant today.

    Knight – Having their gondola come loose and cause the author avatar and his loved ones plunge to their doom is certainly a bold step. Is Keith Knight going through any sort of personal crisis we should know about?

    Mary – “You already helped me, Dawn, when you cut my meat.”

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    AD: stealing old MT plots. next up, bee grinding!!!

    PBS: I don’t always do pun-strips. . . (win)

    SBp: meta-win. *golf clap*

    FW: *head asplodes*

    Lockhorns: so’kay, the hat goes tomorrow. ;-D

    PMP: *snurk*

    Retail: *ROFLs* “corpthulhu”, I loff it. *tip o’ the hat to bats :[*

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . a matter of chemistry.

    Sex Is. . . a matter of physics.

  27. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Grimm“Dad, what’s letterbox format?”
    Follow-ups: “What’s a letterbox?”
    “What’s a letter?” [*]

    Mark – In panel one, the dialog should really be “I now pronounce you Man and dog-wife.”

    Non Seq – The good news about Wiley’s “boyz R stink-E!” joke is that it’s so old and crusty, you can step squarely on it and it won’t get all over your shoe.

    Spider-Man – Today, kids, see if you can find the following things in Jonah’s face: a bunny rabbit, a flagpole, a toothbrush, two tropical fish, a tire fire, a discreet nude, and an Indian chief.

  28. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#198): For a couple of years, my wife worked in the town that used to be the buggy whip capital of the world. Then that stopped being much of an advantage somehow. They still make Columbia bikes there, apparently, in a quiet residential neighborhood.

    @CanuckDownSouth (#214): Several people here have speculated that at a moment of passion with Cayla, Les will shout, “Oh, God! Lisa! LISAAAA!” I think, though, that this is out of character, and he will, as always, shout, “Oh, Les! Les! LESSSSS!”

    @wossname (#5): Well, Mary Worth is designed for an audience that forgets a lot — forgets the previous day, forgets to look at comics — so there’s a lot of redundancy built in. As noted, there are even spare Marys being groomed, just in case the main one flames out and has to go in the shop.

  29. Violet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Perhaps Margo is actually being quite image-savvy and trying to build the agency’s cachet by playing hard to get, though I will concede that her “clients are not permitted to speak to me or come to the office, ever” policy may be a tad extreme.

  30. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MT — Good to see MT drawing attention to yet another cutting-edge environmental issue — pirates who don’t know how to match their shirts with their trousers. And dammit, why doesn’t my local eyewear store carry big frames like the ones on Mr. Ellis? I’d need a more neutral color, but he’s got the size I want. And congrats to Head Pirate on his remarkable achievement of growing chest hair overnight. Too bad the hairless look is what’s in now.

  31. Greg
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    MT: “We are NOT rich!” “Oh, really? Then what’s up with the glasses? I bet you have a dental plan, too! Get him, boys!!”

  32. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#21): Re: Luann Luann- I’m sorry, who is the selfish one here; The 6 year old who gets bounced around like a ping pong ball and wants nothing more than to just watch Spongebob and not do some lazy teenager’s laundry, or the 17 year old who is attempting to enslave the little girl and is yelling at, demeaning, and calling the 6 year old names?

    That depends. Is the 17 year old that evil witch Tiffany? Then she is the selfish one, no question. Oh, it’s Luann? How mature of her, to be trying to educate the little girl. Just don’t try to take the soda away from her, or she may bite your finger – which would mean you are completely justified in sueing Toni.

  33. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    FW — I don’t get to many weddings, but when I do, the guests tend to be either teary-eyed or grinning like fools or both (c’est moi). I can understand why the guests at this wedding are much less enthused. But Cayla, are you blind? THAT’S A CLUE.

  34. Hibbleton
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    RMMD: As Rex reaches for her necklace he thinks; “Pro Bono, my ass!”

    A3G: Is Skyler supposed to be homely thus making Evan’s comments nefarious in nature or can’t Bolle draw a pretty face anymore?

  35. endless sky
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#30): MT: “growing chest hair overnight” Was yesterday’s fleeting pink tee shirt really a Rogaine application device?

  36. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — Really, Crank? You just take your good health for granted? You don’t have any friends or relatives whose health problems make you deeply grateful for having the good health you’ve got? Even though your strip is an offshoot of FW? Congratulations, you get my Comic-Strip Imbecile Award today in spite of tough competition.

  37. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @endless sky (#35): Great catch! Quick, let’s tell Head Pirate! He can forget the passport extortion biz — his little invention, used on skulls overnight instead of chests, could make him millions! Pink isn’t the best color, though.

  38. PGuy
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    A3G: What’s with Skyler’s mustache? And how did it get on Margo’s face in panel 3?

  39. TheDiva
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    A3G: Bad? Why, Margo is a brilliant publicist! Look at her, she’s getting new clients and she isn’t even trying!

    MT: At first I wondered when we’d see the Jackelrod version of Jack Sparrow. Than I realized this is the Jackelrod version of Jack Sparrow.

  40. Hibbleton
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Actually, “pro bono my ass” is something Rex has probably said many times under much different circumstances.

    MW: Keep talking, Jim, as I stare vacantly into the distance.

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    bb,u, you have a phone call.

    a response to today’s Love Is. (BIG kitteh!)

    Jason Fox’s homework. (visual pun)

    I’m not sure if this reminds me more of the two geezers in LaCuc, or Statler and Waldorf, but I’m lmao over it.

    an easy rider for Poteet.

    FMA Brotherhood, memed in 4 panels. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    I have no idea who this cosplay is of, but DAAANNNNNGGGGGG. (PG-13)

    ocelittle toesies!!! *brainmush*

    The Daily Puppy is for bb,u.

    Corgi nap-attack.

  42. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#37):

    By all established comic continuity, if the Super Villian has discovered a cure for baldness, they will only use it to grow hair on a bald henchman so that he can rob a bank without being recongnized – escaping with a haul of over $3,000! (Before the dye packet goes off, that is.)

  43. pugfuggly
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT Every day I learn some new fascinating fact about the log-punk universe Mark Trail inhabits. Today’s lesson: the ‘modest rich’ (e.g. newspaper editors, wildlife photographers, gold-mining bear-whisperers) denote thier financial status on thier passports, presumably to distinguish themselves from the poor who, from thier conspicuous abscence in this strip, I assume must have been enslaved years ago and put to work in underground mines just to keep this improbable economy going.

    A3G “I’m so grateful to be your client” said the actress, stroking her left breast. “Let me show you how grateful…!”

  44. Anonymous
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MT: We are not rich! Can’t you see that my poverty forces me to fashion eyeglasses out of pipe cleaners?

  45. Ranger
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MT: I misread panel two. I thought it said, “….and we are HOT rich!”

  46. Gringo
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    BSt: This is one of my favorite comix, but the editing fail today is egregious and kills the joke, unless the joke is related to climate change, in which case I just don’t get it.

  47. Gringo
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Mock Trail: When I saw Bill Ellis was making an appearance in this story arc, I fully expected to see him in the boat wearing a suit and tie, since that’s the only way I’ve ever seen him.

  48. TheDiva
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: I’m guessing the delay was due to the doctor contesting the lottery that forced him to be the one to deal with Crankshaft this time.

    FW: Possible reasons why Batiuk is not showing Cayla’s face:
    1.) In a rare moment of humility, he realized the expression of ineffable joy that typically graces a bride’s face was beyond the scope of his talent.
    2.) He’s building up to a big reveal–Suicidal Susan in blackface!
    3.) It’s a sign that Les has finally gone over the edge and sees Saint Dead Lisa every time he looks at her.
    4.) He’s forgotten if he’s drawing Original Cayla, De-Ethnicized Cayla, or Michelle Obama.

    Luann: Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen!

    MW: Is this a new arc now, or still the long drawn-out conclusion of the last arc? I’m so confused…

    Pibgorn: Sometimes I think Brooke has a board covered with fetishes in his office. When he needs a new story, he just throws a few darts, and goes with whatever hits (in this case “genies,” “nipple rings,” “happy trails” and “bondage.”

    SM: “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!”

  49. BigTed
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    “I am an editor of an outdoor magazine, and I’m not rich! I can, however, get you some free samples of men’s grooming products and an advance galley of ‘Trout Fishing for Dummies.’ ”

  50. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#20): This stuff reads like the stories from Robert W. Chamber’s The King in Yellow, with the Man In The Pink Shirt being eerily reminiscent of The Man In The Pallid Mask, who keeps popping up from (otherwise unrelated) story-to-story. Please do continue!

  51. Mibbitmaker
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    BBailey: Miss Buxley IS Mary Katherine Gallagher in the remake of Superstar!

    MT: “Well, misters, to be fair, you aren’t fat or particularly lazy, so we had to come up with some kind of American stereotype for you two.”

    A3G: In her own way, Margo is showing how grateful you should be to be her client, since, according to Margo, Margo comes first and the two of you are a distant 425th (at least!) in the equation. Remember that and be grateful for it!

  52. teenchy
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT, panel 3: Is this porn film dialogue or what?

    Luann, also panel 3: Shannon is looking a bit like Bwad in profile. Are we sure she’s not actually Bwad’s and Toni’s child and the real reason Toni and Dirk split? On second thought, yes, because short of immaculate conception it would require Bwad and Toni having sex and we know people don’t have sex in the Luanniverse.

  53. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    BB: All note that Killer is apparently a 13 year old farmboy, and that Mort still really likes drawing Miss Buxley’s back porch.

    MT: Bill just had to ask the State Department for a bigshot passport that says “Rich American.” Bet you don’t feel so smart now, Bill. The booklet coated in diamond dust is a little much too.

    A3G: Readers who think that Margo might know or care who her clients are are in for a rude awakening.

    WofI: The lazy overuse of Henry the dragon continues, but at least we learn today that because of him, Id’s sawed off king is now terrified of his court magician. Adds a certain George RR Martin quality to the setup, if you really squint.

    FW: Cayla’s head has been glared out of the picture, which will make it even easier later on to edit Lisa’s head onto her shoulders.

    Archie: Even perfect answers are marred somewhat by being preceded with “duh-h.”

    Popeye: Wait a minute, I thought all the Grumpers had drowned.

    BC: Aside from the surprisingly timely Big Bird appearance, the “Dookey 112” indicates that Mason remembers Green Day back when they were good. [/record nerd].

    JP: Sure, walk down a mineshaft in front of a two behemoth drug dealers, one of them carrying a chainsaw. What could go wrong?

    Garfield: In their infinite wisdom, Paws Incorporated endowed cats with opposable thumbs but did not extend this privilege to dogs. Strange.

    DT: That Measles, such a stimulating conversationalist!

    GT: “Here comes the airplane, vroom vroom!”

    FC: don’t want to know don’t want to know don’t want to know

  54. Chaze
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MT – Looks like Shannon from LuAnn has been drawing glasses on comics characters. Keep practicing, Shannon. They almost look real.

    LuAnn – Speaking of Shannon, is there a reason a six year old girl has Joan Crawford eyebrows? Or did she stick strips of black electrical tape over her eyes?

    9CL – Is Pap a puppet? A ventriloquist dummy? A figment of Thorax’s imagination? Am I asking too many stupid questions?

    RMMD – Honestly, is there anything more lame than wearing a hat or tee shirt from the place you’re currently visiting? Rex should just have a sign pinned to his back reading “tourist.”

    FW – Lemme see, according to what I see in the camera viewfinder, Les is marrying a shapely, bald black man. NOW I’m starting to respect the creep a little bit.

    JP – “Let’s walk down to the shaft and negotiate.” GREAT pickup line in a gay bar!

    MW – Sigmund Freud is sitting at the next table, and what he has heard from Dawn and Jim has knocked his glasses askew. I’ve tried drinking my coffee with my hand in the same position as Dr. Beardly, and cannot do it without spilling the coffee down the front of me.

  55. Austria
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    FW: So basically it’s gonna turn out that it’s Dead Lisa’s face on Cayla’s head, huh?

    Luann: I’ve figured it out – Shannon lives in Virginia, so on the off-chance she actually finds root beer, she TAKES root beer. (I speak from experience.)

    PBS: Stephan Pastis doesn’t always reference Internet memes…but when he does, he references The Most Interesting Man in the World.

  56. Horace Broon
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    RMMD June realises that this is a medical emergency, and she needs to call a real doctor.

  57. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#40):

    MW: Keep talking, Jim, as I stare vacantly into the distance.

    … and wrestle with my breakfast sandwich.

  58. OMEGA SUPREME
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: How sad is this: I was taking a shower this morning and going over the coming day in my head. I thought, “Do I have a staff meeting today? Is today Tuesday or Wednesday? Wait, Miss Buxley was in Beetle Bailey today, so it must be Wednesday.”

    Mark Trail: I was amused by the bad guys assertion that our heroes are rich just by looking at their passports. Rich people have different passports now? That tears it, I’m part of the 99% now.

    Apartment 3G: Man, I have to figure a way to get A3G. All the Dark Gate Comic Slurper displays these days is Popeye going, “Well blow me down! ‘Dis feed is unauthorized or expiried! Try refreshink yer browser, clearink yer cache or contactink us at customerservice@comicskingdom.com! Ah-gak-gak-gak!”
    I always read that message in a Popeye voice. That’s the best I could do for a Popeye laugh.

  59. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#32): I shudder at the thought of Luann educating Shannon. Talk about the blind leading the blind gouging the eyes out of the sighted.

  60. Pozzo
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Personally, I think Killer is still carrying a torch for Marilyn Monroe…or Marilyn Manson.

  61. Jack Pendarvis
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    It’s good to see Burt Reynolds working again!

  62. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24): Dawn circumcised Jim?

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Ruthie makes an appearance in Weapon Brown, basically as herself. No mutations, no weaponry, just Ruthie.

  64. Walker of Dog
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    FW: As Les’ new bride, Cayla has joined the ranks of the Soulless Undead, who are notoriously difficult to photograph.

    A3G: May I propose a solution to this conflict?
    Evan, keep talking to Skyler.
    Margo, lop off one of her arms and fire up the grill.

    MW: Jim’s statement in panel two was directed at Dawn’s sandwich.

    RMMD: Rex: “I’m a doctor! What happened?” Would you believe a clerical error in the med school admissions office?

  65. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MT: That is the most cheerful kidnapper-slash-terrorist ever. Why, it’s almost as though the artist is just re-using art of some disco-loving bartender who appeared back in 1976 during some storyline that surely involved Mark Trail saving the bald eagle from evil pot smoking anti-American hippies.

  66. Trilobite
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Bill Ellis edits a wildlife magazine because he loves it, not for mere money; his fabulous wealth all comes from his lucrative moonlighting gig in a DEVO cover band.

  67. Mibbitmaker
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    FW: Well, Cayla is marrying Specialest Snowflake Les, so that immediately makes her a saint, just like her predecessor. Her head glows in a manner befitting Saint Lisa the BetterThanYou. She shall now be known as “Saint Cayla the TrappedInALivingHell”. Her needless sacrifice to the cruel gods of deadly disease will happen some time around 2019.

    H&L: Definately the Weather Channel/Weatherscan.

    RMMD:
    P.1: She’s no fun, she fell right over!
    P.3: Edna snaps back to life, hornily declaring, “I thought you’d never ask!”

    6C: “Nyehhh… What’s up, doc?”

  68. Ian Beste
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    FC Rode hard and put away wet.

  69. LP2004
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#67): FW: I can just imagine the paintings of the saints and their martyrdoms: St. Peter being crucified upside-down, St. Sebastian being shot to death with arrows, St. Catherine and the spiked wheel, St. Cayla marrying Les…

  70. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#41): It’s Multisquee Wednesday! Yay!

  71. Cloudbuster
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    FW: When the incendiary round first hit Cayla’s head, there was a blinding flash and a deafening ‘whump.’ Then, slowly, like gentle autumn rain, bits of blood and brain began to mist down upon the wedding party. We don’t know exactly what Cayla’s last thought was, but a lot of us think it might have been “I never should have let Les talk me into getting Quentin Tarantino to plan the wedding entertainment.”

  72. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    FW: I’m pretty sure Cayla is ascending to higher plane of existence before she’s permanently bogged down in this one, or rather, whatever plane Westview is on — the top floor of Hell, perhaps?

  73. Bill Peschel
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    I can’t help myself but wonder what deal Producer DeVito will negotiate. Because if this were the real world, he’d buy up Jethro’s pot stock and resell it to Kevin Smith for his next Hollywood Babble-On show. But this is Judge Parker, so he’ll probably trade the Oscar he’s sure to win for filming the judge’s crappy thriller for the camera.

  74. Mibbitmaker
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#69): ….St. Lisa being told the hospital mixed up her test results…

  75. cheech wizard
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    MT – “Get you some money? My god, man, don’t you know how American capitalism works? These are people who will throw thousands out of work to save half a percent on their bottom line. You think they’ll give a plugged nickle for the lives of a couple scribes they can replace out of an Indian boiler room? Look, how about we just swap boats and call it even?”

  76. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#48): 4.) He’s forgotten if he’s drawing Original Cayla, De-Ethnicized Cayla, or Michelle Obama.
    “De-lightful, De-ethnic, Dead-Lisa!”

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): Mort still really likes drawing Miss Buxley’s back porch.
    You should see it before they black in the dress.

  77. bunivasal
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Wait, their passports identify them as rich Americans? “Look, and the passport stamps are on $100 bills!”

  78. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#71): When the incendiary round first hit Cayla’s head, there was a blinding flash …We don’t know exactly what Cayla’s last thought was

    Au contraire! From your description, we know exactly what was going through her mind when she died!

    JP – “Let’s wander over to this open mine shaft and continue the discussion”. To the last, Avery’s one, small failure as a negotiator – his insistence on always accepting the first offer – would cost him dearly.

  79. cheech wizard
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    MT – You got some bad information, mister! We’re not the wealthy Americans on a fishing trip you’re looking for. You want the guys in Judge Parker, three strips down. Better hurry before bearded dude fires up his chainsaw.”

  80. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: Is it really a sculpture garden if it contains only one sculpture self-aggrandizing, autotheistic idol carved from a single, gigantic piece of ivory?

  81. 150
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to spend all day trying to figure out who “MM” could be. Then drink bleach.

  82. geogreg
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Trilobite (#66): Some of Bill Ellis’ slightly tweaked DEVO covers:

    Trout U Want
    Marko-Homo
    Come Back Andy
    Not-So-Smart Patrol
    Punch It

  83. Chaze
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    MT – Unprinted thought balloon coming from Andy Dog’s head: “Jesus, I have to save this dumb fuck, AGAIN??”

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#71), @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#78):

    When the incendiary round first hit Cayla’s head, there was a blinding flash …

    And Wally shudders awake, drenched in sweat — it was all a dream!

  85. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84):

    …it was all a dream!

    REVERSE TIME JUMP! Funky Winkerbean continuity now resets at August 1, 1990.

  86. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    FC: In college, I had a friend that walked up and said “I like doin’ em ‘rodeo style’. You take ‘em from behind, smack ‘em on the ass and say ‘My other girlfriend loves it like that.’ Then you try to hold on as long as you can. (pause) The world record is 8.5 seconds.”

    Don’t you judge my friend like that! He was talkiing about a consenting adult of no relation to him. Bil Keane’s vignette is just wrong on many levels.

  87. Stroker Ace
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    BB – If Beetle was an MP Miss Buxley would already be handcuffed. Nothing like outdoors S&M.

  88. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @150 (#81): I wondered it myself. Ms. Blip would have a B. I don’t know the female sargeant’s name, but I doubt that she’s Killer’s cup of tea. Given the dearth of women in this strip, I’m thinking it’s that girl M&M from the commercials. Candy coating surrounding milk chocolate… oooohhh, what’s not to love?

  89. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Beetle: Those are initials, not a name, you twit.

  90. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @michael kors outlet online (#90): They’re gonna delete you soon, so I just want to tell you: Don’t ever change, man. Stay golden, Ponyboy.

  91. Marc
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @michael kors outlet online (#90): From the website theme store. Duh.

  92. bbofun
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    BB- The question no one is asking is- who is the MM that KD loves? (Oh, and does this mean Killer’s last name is Diller?)

    FW- Given Batiuk’s limited skills as an artist (different levels of smirking notwithstanding), it seems unlikely the actual reveal of Cayla’s face is going to be as dramatic as he thinks it will be. Short of her having a nose ring or having painted her face in Westview’s school colors, is there anything he could actually draw that we’d even notice?

    Or maybe it’s just that Lisa is flying in front of her, giving her blessing to the marriage.

    My personal favorite is the idea that she actually HAS Lisa’s face, albeit not her skin tone, thus completing her metamorphosis. (Or that this is all a dream, as suggested above, and, in true Dallas-fashion, Les will awaken, go to the bathroom to see Lisa taking a shower. Of course, she’ll still have cancer.

  93. Walker of Dog
    October 17th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    FC: Thel: “At least he weighs less than Bil. Eh, it’s a living.”

    Plug: That burn you’re feeling is a urinary tract infection.

    MT: My passport doesn’t say ‘Rich American’. I feel so 47%.

    JP: As the negotiations begin, Bubba props the chainsaw on his shoulder, slicing off his arm and giving Avery the upper hand.

  94. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#93) re: BB:

    The question no one is asking is- who is the MM that KD loves?

    My Mom.

    Wait, did I just burn myself?

    @Marc (#92) re: FW:

    My personal favorite is the idea that she actually HAS Lisa’s face, albeit not her skin tone, thus completing her metamorphosis.

    One morning, as Kayla Williams was waking up from unsettling dreams, she discovered that in her bed she had been changed into a monstrous stand-in for her narcissistic fiance’s dead wife.

    @bbofun (#93) re: BB Redux:

    The question no one is asking is- who is the MM that KD loves?

    Marianne Moore — Killer loves him some M(odernist)ILF action.

  95. Calico
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Re: RM, Junior et al,
    Sorry if this has been mentioned already – I’ve been in VT for a few days so have not read all comments – but I think this genteel fellow whose wife/partner has passed out is actually Da J Man. *hee hee*!

  96. AhClem
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#93):

    My personal favorite is the idea that she actually HAS Lisa’s face, albeit not her skin tone, thus completing her metamorphosis. (Or that this is all a dream, as suggested above, and, in true Dallas-fashion, Les will awaken, go to the bathroom to see Lisa taking a shower. Of course, she’ll still have cancer.

    The whole “it was all a dream” meme is one of the worst ways to end a story that has ever been invented. And yet, it’s still a lot better than whatever path this turgid, glurge-filled story line will take. “Writing,” indeed.

  97. o-c
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (9CL- Oh wonderful, another week of Brooke spouting off pointless political takes through Thorax. He must be out wank material.)

    Now that the customer-name-publishing-phase of the Kennebunk Zumba prostitution scandal has started, he’s probably going to lay low for a while, until it blows over without anybody noticing the overwrought no-beefwit-will-notice-this-literary-character pseudonym he used.

  98. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    SM alternative dialogue:

    Adolf: Tell me of the war effort! Have we routed the French?

    Gen. Parkersson: The French lines have broken!

    Gen Parkersson: The British are also in full retreat, so…

    Adolf: Victory in Europe must not be far behind! Prepare for the invasion of England!

  99. Calico
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    JP – and henceforth came the new series of cult films a la Twilight, working title “Bubbaland.”

  100. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are so stupid that they don’t realize that pedometers only work when you shake them. A GPS pedometer would work on a wheeled ambulatory device, but we’ve already been assured that plugger GPSs are some quaint, non-electronic thing.

  101. Calico
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#97):
    Les really shouldn’t eat Japanese food so late at night.

  102. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#93): I don’t have a problem with Killer’s last name being “Diller”. It’s the first name that I find unlikely.

  103. I speak Jive
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#92): No, no – from the website theme outlet!

    FW – Am I the only one who interpreted this as a malfunction on camera girl’s part? She was distracted by something – I have no idea what – and when she turned, the new angle caused Cayla’s face to be obscured by glare. So when Les and Cayla watch their wedding video, the will be horribly disappointed to find it ruined. That’s about par for the course in this strip.

    Of course, the real reason is that Batiuk had no idea how to draw anyone with a (presumably) happy expression.

  104. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#103): According to Wikipedia, “Killer” is a nickname. His first name is “Private” as are a number of other characters, apparently.

  105. I speak Jive
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#102): That was a very rare case of “it was all a dream” turning out brilliantly.

  106. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    JP: Negotiate?? Bubba has the camera and the chainsaw and the hired thug and the mine shaft to make Avery disappear. “How about this for an offer? I give you back your precious camera, and then cut you into bits.”

  107. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#105): There aren’t a lot of characters with first and last names in that strip.

    Beetle Bailey
    Killer Diller
    Amos Halftrack
    Chip Gizmo

    That’s it.

  108. endless sky
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @michael kors outlet online (#90): The theme for this website is “I’m not Lisa”

  109. Hogenmogen
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    FW: And if your head explodes with dark forebodings, too, I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

  110. AhClem
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#108):
    Orville Snorkel. I am ashamed that I know this.

  111. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    I also want to know for what class and and what kind of project Michael Kors’s brother is working on that Comic Curmudgeon could be a valuable resource.

  112. Snarkotix Addict
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann – There just isn’t enough conflict in this strip anymore, since Dirk, Ann Eiffel, and Tiffany (the Axis of Evil) disappeared. This is the moment when Toni should walk in and find Luann scolding Shannon. Toni will go all high order and threaten Luann, putting Brad in the middle, causing their breakup and general strife among the deGroot family.
    Hey, it’s not like I’m asking for a murder-suicide, is it?

  113. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#76):

    You should see it before they black in the dress.

    I’ve seen excerpts from those “Beetle Bailey After Dark” comics or whatever they’re called, so I have no problem believing this.

  114. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    FW – I think we all suspect where this is going – that the giant flash of light will be the Ghost of Dead Lisa blessing the wedding. It is just what is left of the rational part of the brain that is resisting the idea that something so predictable and yet so very, very wrong would actually happen.

    For any other strip, and author, the past three faceless days would be the setup to a big reveal that Cayla is not happy – her facial expressions when we have seen them are invariably depressed, verging on suicidal. But if the plot actually took this turn, it would shock everyone here. Les is the Special Snowflake, Lisa is the paragon of all dead virtue, and Cayla is just an empty vessel whose existence is for the sole purpose of allowing Les to find a ‘worthy’ Replacement Lisa.

  115. Chaze
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#111): @AhClem (#111): Yup, right up there with knowing that The Skipper’s name is Jonas Grumby.

  116. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#41): Thank you, and that ocelot is brainmush indeed.

  117. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#116):

    Or The Millionaire – Anne Hiswif.

  118. flatsixes
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    MT: You know, Mark, if you play this right Mr. Mustachioed might rid you of that infernal Editor. Then you can be the Boss! Then you can ride around all day in a big yacht ordering peon writers to get up to Saskatoon because an old lady found a chipmunk wearing a tutu and “it’ll make for a great story.” Screw Cherry, Doc and the family idiot Rusty. How about just you and Andy on a boat full of babes and bitches making midnight dope runs from Jamaica to Miami? Opportunity knocks, Mark. Knock back.

  119. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#42): If the bald henchman would then take his $3,000 and go on an interesting toot involving liquor, gambling, and a couple of good-looking call girls, it would be the greatest MT story ever. I hope they skip the dye packet.

  120. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    FW — Here comes the sun.

  121. Bitter Scribe
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    I just wanted to put this comic here so that every embittered worker in the various dying wordsmithing industries can grab panel two and use it as their computer desktop wallpaper.

    As my nym suggests, I am squarely in that demographic.

  122. TheDiva
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#115): Indeed, Cayla’s facelessness seems less of a buildup to anything (what’s he got to reveal? We know what she looks like, and we can see the dress already) and more of a confirmation that Batiuk is only interested in her as a prize for Les. What’s going through her mind on this occasion? How does she feel gazing upon the smirky asshat she’s about to chain herself to? Who cares? All that matters is that after having suffered so much with a deep artistic suffering that few can possibly comprehend, Les is about to be rewarded with an inexplicably devoted and personality-free replacement wife. It is, as usual, all about him.

  123. Chaze
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    FW – if this whole “time-jump” is, indeed, a very long, smirk-filled dream sequence, would that explain why Batiuk has not wanted to do back stories on the characters? Those stories don’t really exist.

  124. Marthas Rolling Pin
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#108): Louise Lugg. AhClem, I share your shame, and raise you one.

  125. Inkwell
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Yeah… I would not get that close to a tree right after Killer had. Just to be safe, y’know?

  126. LP2004
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#123): An excerpt from Cayla’s wedding vows:

    “And do you, Cayla, promise to love, honor, and cherish the memory of Saint Dead Lisa, to always make sandwiches the way she used to, and to faithfully follow the instructions she left for you in the Holy Saint Dead Lisa videotapes (Volumes 334 through 587), until your inevitable early and poignant death? If so, answer ‘I do.’”
    “I guess I don’t really have a choice, so what the hell…”
    “Close enough.”

  127. Comcis Fan
    October 17th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#16): Or Les will wake up in bed with Susan Pleshette/Emily Newhart, who will slap him silly for … for being Les and being in her bed. Then she’ll walk into the bathroom and find Patrick Duffy/Bobby Ewing in the shower. She’ll tell him she just had the awfullest nightmare about a depressing town and its dreariest native. Over breakfast, Bobby will read the funnies, we’ll see that it’s 1972, and Bobby will chuckle, saying, “Har har, look at this clever new comic about a group of high school kids.”

  128. Comcis Fan
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: Perhaps this is a time-warped crossover and Cayla has the head of pony-tail Gina from Mary Worth.

  129. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Who needs to be endowed brains when you’re as endowed as Moose is in other areas.

  130. Shrug, Snarfer to White Castle
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#yy150):

    “I have the chance to pass through Ohio and Michigan, both home to White Castles. (Also a fringe benefit of visiting Cathy’s family in NJ.) Three’s my limit. Buy three, eat them as quick as practicable, and they’re gone just in time.”

    Ten seems to be my limit. After all, I have to leave room for the french fries.

    (To be honest, I think I’ve only hit ten at a time once, and that was because I had a coupon requiring me to buy that many. Ordinarily I just get five or six. But I currently have another such coupon, and am Thinking About It. Maybe you could swing by Minnesota next trip, and I’ll let you have three of them?)

  131. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    FC-Change the b in buck to another letter and it reads completely different.

    FC 2-At least she isn’t wearing a harness.

    FC 3-She likes being ridden bareback.

  132. Woods & Wildlife Magazine
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    You had one job, Bill. Don’t come back without our yacht.

  133. Poteet
    October 17th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    MW — There are so few publicity agencies in NYC that Skyler had better just be happy with the mediocrity of this one. Especially since her hair color has apparently been changed permanently, and it’s not as good as her old color. But at least she doesn’t look so much like a vampire now. Come to think of it, are we sure this is the same Skyler?

  134. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    I’m calling it right now:

    In Funky Winkerbean The Bride walks down the yard aisle and no one gets a clear look at her face because she’s wearing a veil. So, when Les sees her, he mistakenly believes he sees his dead wife.

    Now, one of two things will happen:
    Les has a heart attack and everyone freaks out thinking that the Pizza Buffet might get cold, or,
    Les screws it all up by saying something that causes The Bride to call the whole thing off.

    Of course, there’s always that outside possibility that could affect any storyline in any comic strip:

    Marmaduke shows up to claim what is rightfully his to bury, yada yada yada.

  135. Droopy Says
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: Dawn, grab the salt shaker. That way you can rub literal as well as figurative salt in Jim’s wounds.

    Mark Trail: An incompetent writer, the assclown who keeps him in money, a pointless luxury fishing vacation. And the incompetent criminals who bring excitement into their lives. Does Conrad have a giant South American cousin?

    Creepy Les: Maybe Batiuk is setting up another time jump. One kid joins the army, then vanishes. Another moves to New York, and that story vanishes. We had the Anonymous White Gay Hand at the Camelot Prom. Summer and Cahoots are off to college. Fishface may be pregnant. Zip forward a few years and . . . okay, not much will have changed. But maybe Les will be a wrinkled, balding, overweight dork. Who drives a school bus.

    Luann: What a surprise that a six year old kid wants to watch TV. Has Evans ever met a [six] year old [kid]? (you can put any number and noun in those fields) Or is he just flummoxed by showing some sort of vaguely normal behavior?

  136. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Try it, it’s fun:

    Dawn and Jim sit in that damned cafeteria where Jim is constantly being reminded of his sister by Dawn and her sammich-eating, milk drinking, bad hair styled self.

    Marmaduke shows up, Jim is aghast.

    “It’s him! He’s back for more!”. Jim screams. As Dawn turns to see what is frightening him, GULP!

    The End

  137. Gringo
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#108): Sarge’s name is Orville Snorkle.

    I also know that the Skipper’s name is Jonas Grumby and the Professor’s name is Roy Hinkley.

    I have wasted my life.

  138. Gringo
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#138): Beaten to the punch, not once, but twice. Damn, that’s what I get for not reading all the way through the comments.

  139. sally
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Funky: Who the hell is the guy in the beige T-shirt, goatee, and kippah, standing on the porch in the first panel? Does Les have a brother (Gimmy Moore?)

  140. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#138):

    OK. You’ve confused me. Don’t beat yourself up over that.

    AhClem got to it first. But, didn’t you get to it second?

    Now, if you had asked me what Sarge Snorkel’s real name was I would have said:

    Snorville Snorkenbacherkinsy (a soviet mole in the army)

    I just would not have known but now that I do know his real name…the strip means so much less than it did when it was a Cold War Comic Strip. You did me a service exposing the futility of that. Thank you. Thank you both.

  141. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @sally (#140):

    A kippah isn’t a yarmulke?

    I just assumed it was Tom Batuik playing an organ.

    //let’s leave it at and organ.

  142. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#142):

    I meant, “an” not “and”

    sigh. Snark error.

  143. Alter Ego
    October 17th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    love is…
    You said you’d stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
    But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four, Five and Six…

  144. Peanut Gallery
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @michael kors outlet online (#90):

    Where do you get the theme for this website?

    iTunes.

  145. Peanut Gallery
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#25): I’ve seen the term “bee grinding” on CC before, but I don’t think I’ve encountered it elsewhere. Can anyone explain the origin of it?

  146. bats :[
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

  147. commodorejohn
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#146): “Bee-grinding” originated with some discussion on an article Josh linked about a plane that got bees in its engines, with good ol’ True Fable suggesting that “the engines were busy grinding up bees for a while,” a phrase which quickly took on a life of its own as a descriptor for things that drag on far longer than could be reasonably expected and aren’t nearly as exciting as they sound.

  148. debussy fields
    October 17th, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    MW– Hey, everyone! You’d better check the contents of your mugs. The guy with the triangular forehead…you know, the guy who shaves just that little area in front of his ears…that guy who somehow holds his mug with the palm of his hand turned outward…that guy! …is giving his mug the sniff test, and it looks like they’re serving spoiled milk in the cafeteria again. Jesus, that is badly drawn! Or is Picasso’s great-grandson drawing Mary Worth these days?

  149. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#108): You’re forgetting Sgt. Orville P. Snorkel. Hm. I had a collection of these that strangely had a number of panel gags, and I thought it included some full names. Alas, every book in the house is on the floor at the moment (by-product of the upcoming mold work we’ll have) and I’m not going to sift through the stacks. Even for a matter of such grave import! However, here’s something almost interesting, a list of “Early characters who didn’t make it,” from The Best of Beetle Bailey (which didn’t give full names for the other characters, apart from Sarge):
    “CANTEEN, who was always eating.
    SNAKE EYES, the barracks gambler.
    BIG BLUSH, tall innocent and a great attraction to the girls.
    FIREBALL, the neophyte who always seems to be in the way.
    BAMMY, the southern patriot who is still fighting the civil war.
    DAWG, the guy in every barracks who creates his own pollution.”
    The book also shows how the characters looked when they were introduced. Cookie didn’t look just like Sarge! Also, here’s a trivia fact: Walker introduced Zero, then dropped him. A few months later, he ran into Ernie Bushmiller, who said he missed Zero, so he brought him back.
    Oh, wait, here’s more. “General Amos T. Halftrack.” (another middle initial)
    “Lt. Sonny Fuzz.” “Chaplain Staneglass” (who they were calling Chaplain Charlie in early strips, until even they got tired of the joke) “Julius” used to show up once in a while, and was also nicknamed “Mother.” Beetle had a girlfriend named “Buzz” who was supplanted by another named “Bunny.” Hi and Lois were introduced in Beetle Bailey (and Beetle’s mom showed up at that time too) before they had their own strip. Another dumb ass (similar to Moose) was introduced and dropped — his name was Ozone. Moocher and Pop were also introduced and dropped. Cosmo was dropped — news to me, I thought he was still there.
    Plato was based on Dik Browne. For a while, Mort Walker was responsible for sitting down with the writers of Hallmark cards and sketching their ideas so that the final artists wouldn’t totally mess up their concepts. Most Hallmark cards produced for several years were filtered through Mort.
    Beetle had a little brother named Chigger. (Oh, and a dad as well.)
    After Walker’s take-off on “The Heart of Juliet Jones” was run in MAD, Juliet Jones cartoonist Stan Drake responded with “Fetal Bailey” (by Wart Molker) in which a number of Camp Swampy denizens are drawn in a too-realistic style.
    Some more characters we don’t see much of: Dr. Bonkus, the shrink. Rolf, the tennis pro.
    Jeez, I’m tired now.

  150. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Snarfer to White Castle (#131): Tempting. Very tempting. I can’t think of a way to add MN to the trip, though, without adding something like four hours to the drive time, if not more.

    @Gringo (#138): How can you call that a waste? And, let’s see: Willy Gilligan, Ginger Grant, Mary Ann McAllister (I think), Thurston Howell III and Lovey Howell. But Roy Hinkley’s always my favorite.

  151. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#137): Oh man, I’d pay good internet dollars to see a face-off (literally, heh) between Chainsaw-Wielding Bubba and Marmaduke.

  152. Doctor Handsome
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    BB: It’s true: chicks dig scars.

  153. Dale
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Give RedPirate a break.

    A MarkTrail-class pirate would easily add big fancy yacht plus American and get RICH.

    English may be his second language or third or fourth, but it’s still more natural than Mark’s. His courteous terms are sarcasm which escapes the likes of Mark and his extended family of old friends.

  154. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#153):

    …A MarkTrail-class pirate…

    Must be 4th edition Poachers & Punchers, ’cause I only play 3.5…

  155. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#146): Now see what you started.

    (I will go out on a limb and say – NSFW – really – I’m not kidding)

  156. Moe Squito-Fish
    October 17th, 2012 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#155): You weren’t kidding! My work’s filters blocked whatever it was you put there!

  157. Brian Weaver
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    This is obviously secret code talk. I imagine it’s what squids use. I am very curious as to why you chose to share this kind of undersea form of communication? My comment supplied with an email so i can get spam. Lovely!

  158. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Moe Squito-Fish (#156): Now you’ll just have to wait until you get home.

    It’s what bats :[ had only multiplied. I guess you could look at bats :[ link several times.

  159. Calico
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#71):
    In Killing Zoe:
    “You can’t shoot me, I’m an American!” LOL

  160. Charly
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Evan Ellis, son of Mr. Ellis, editor, tried to escape his backwoods strawberry blond roots, but as he gazes out his window in gentrified Washington Heights, he sees a word balloon emit from a single pigeon, and weeps.

  161. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Just realized how perfectly attuned Cathy and I are. We both forgot, until about 45 minutes ago, that it’s our 32nd anniversary. It’s even on my little calendar here, and I didn’t remember it until I was talking to Sarah. Heh. How very cartoony.

  162. Ms. Unit
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Ms. Buxley is hugging the tree because of her pent up sexual frustration with Beetle.
    That’s also the same reason why Killer carved that heart and initals into the tree.
    You know, minus the Beetle part (or probably including because ERRYBODY’S BI)

  163. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    MT-Say that’s a real nice boat you have. It would be a shame if something was to happen to it.

  164. Mr. O'Malley
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#y212): Not that Ren. She was one of four wives and one of the others died, who was a Chinese opera singer, so Ren played her records to make people think the house was haunted. I can’t remember the name of the film.

  165. davey
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Margo may suck at her job, but someone sure nailed every facial expression in that panel two tableau: Evan’s sheepish, resentment-kissed apprehension, Skyler’s stunned post-slap grin, Margo’s diabolically poised hangdog sarcasm. It’s almost like the artist poured into these people every drop of humanity drained from the flight safety card cyborgs in panel one.

  166. Dale
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#163):

    Henchman: Like if someone was to spill green paint all over it.

  167. Calico
    October 17th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#93):
    Augh, not yet another armless comics character!

  168. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#161): Happy Anniversary, Muff!

  169. With Cat As My CEO
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    FW: You may call me a cock-eyed optimist, but I’m still hoping for Suicidal Susan to go all Uma Thurman on this wedding. *sigh* But that would be beyond Batiuk’s drawing skills, to say nothing of his emotional range. Susan has settled for paying off Video Kid to live-edit the tape in Final Cut Pro to show Susan as the Bride of Wankenstein.

  170. Zerowolf
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is this the exact moment of Cayla’s final transformation into a caucasian woman being caught on camera?

  171. Zerowolf
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    Stone Soup: So what will you do for the remaining 9 minutes?

  172. Mr. O'Malley
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#170): Or the professional film-maker pointing the camera at the sun?

  173. Peanut Gallery
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#147): Ah, so that’s it! Thank you!

    From those old posts, I especially enjoyed SecretMargo’s take on Family Circus: “Dolly opens her mouth and all I hear are grinding bees.”

  174. jp
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#170):

    Yes, and she’s doing it in true Time Lord style.

  175. The Ridger
    October 17th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#103): But she’s a professional! She couldn’t make a mistake like that! Not on Les’s special day!

  176. greghousesgf
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#58): i still think a Popeye laugh should be spelled “huh guh guh guh guh” but ” Ah-gak-gak-gak!” fits the animated cartoons better than “arf! arf!” does.

  177. tallyHO
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    See, now you all have me wondering if that pizza that Old Funky delivered–hand delivered!–contained a combo topping of Michael Jacksonizing solvent and Coocoo Delusional peppers.

    Now, I know what you are thinking: Really, dude? Really?

    Really.

    There is almost nothing that Batuik can do to make this forced reveal of her face any more exciting that any other time he has drawn her. Now, I know some people can be moved by well-drawn comic/cartoon art; they can be moved to tears. But, there’s nothing he can do to make it Grandiose, Fantastical, Spectacular beyond a reaction shot of the groom. That would be the only one. Why?

    Because since this Wedding thing started on Monday, Les has pretty much been the only close-up. So, it *seems* safest to say that if there is any shared or exclusive perspective which these wordless panel sequences are to be viewed, it would be Our Perspective and Maybe Ours and Les’ Perspective.

    The sort of close-up of frizzly-haired videographer doesn’t count. Heck, as far as we know she is looking over her shoulder to see the ghost of Lisa marching the opposite direction of the yard aisle and one of two things will happen:

    Ghost Lisa will run down the yard aisle and jump into The Bride and possess her; The Bride won’t know what hit her; but, Les will know–because he “sees” it happen” and will keep the secret from Cayla (alternately, Les flips his nut and just pretends his new bride is Lisa…can someone say, coocoo for surrogate ghost sex*?);

    Or, Ghost Lisa is seen by The Bride and only The Bride and there is a cat-fight right smack dab in the middle of the yard aisle. A cat-fight only The Bride and Les are aware of. This freaks out the audience the Gathered because they just see Cayla freaking out, and coming to her senses about marrying Les and then….

    oh…I dunno….the loser of said ectoplasm vs. the intended has to deal with Marmaduke, who’s already indulged himself with a clergyman snack and is licking his chops in front of the Geo Metro in the driveway that is parked with a quick getaway in mind as the honeymoon is probably a trip to ….I dunno…Crankshaft’s Grave, where all mediocre mysteries are answered for those bored enough to pass the time.

    You just mark my words. Something comic-strip-evil is going down and Les is going to be A-OKAY with it!**

    *i had to make myself laugh. pardon the indulgence.
    **seriously, there is nothing in this strip which will be delightful or intriguing to the reader. no one can possible have that much invested in these characters to really, truly care.

  178. Jim in Wisc.
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#26):

    Didn’t Jimmy J. do that gag in A&J a few weeks ago? So yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if ol’ Battie just plagiarized another cartoonist.

  179. Liam
    October 17th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    MT-Don’t deny that you aren’t rich. You are Americans. All Americans are rich.

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#145): go here: http://joshreads.com/?p=1089

    basically, it’s plot-advance /fail.

  181. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#147): well, dang.

    snarpologies.

  182. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    oh, now here is a heart-warming tale of love and sports.

  183. Gladly, the cross-eyed Bear
    October 17th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#176): Put me down for huh ugh ugh ugh huh.

  184. I speak Jive
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#175): So was Lisa’s doctor.

  185. Pucacodog
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @OMEGA SUPREME (#58): I got that message, too, regarding APT 3G on Darkgate.
    It was the little nudge I needed to stop reading APT 3G. I realize this response doesn’t help you, so try reading it in a Popeye voice.

  186. Sgt. Stoned
    October 17th, 2012 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    MT: Careful, amigos, that “editor” you are fucking with just might be Clark Kent. I mean, after working 74 years as a reporter, he is bound to have gotten an editor’s position by now, right? Even if it is for a two-bit “outdoors” magazine.

    MW: Be even more careful, Jim, or you might end up literally fucking with Dawn.

  187. Poteet
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    FW — Ooooh, this is so creepy. First we’re looking at the happy/hapless bride and her presumed father, who can’t possibly know Les well or his expression would not be nearly so calm…and then we look down and see the real protagonist, the constant protagonist, the eternal protagonist, the Only One Who Really Counts, The Mighty Smirk Himself. Les. Les. Les. Les. Les.

  188. Poteet
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    MW — Dawn, you are one weird chickababy.

  189. CanuckDownSouth
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    FW – this is a “reveal”? Really? Really??

    Let’s see, we already knew the bride and saw the dress and could figure out the neckline. Help me out here – are we supposed to be surprised that she’s happy? No – we already knew her soul was sucked out along with her natural hair and features.

    Can we get Batiuk a remedial course in pacing / suspense?

  190. tallyHO
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Golly Geewilkers! In Mark Trail that blackmailing pirate is being awfully demanding. Does he think there is a super ATM on a nearby dingy?

    Awe to the Some! The new artist on Spider-man rocks like a mural painter that paints murals advertising brotherhood! Stressful, stressful brotherhood!

    Oooooh! Margo McGee’s Love Triangle, Squared is getting heated. It’s gone from Margo being flip with Evan (“You can chat with your little friend or rock me like a hurricane, Evan. Your choice.”)
    to
    (“So, that’s his answer: a passionate peck on the cheek, like I gave Scott Moneybags, and the intention of hurricane rocking me. Things are getting inclement!” ).

    //seriously, is the art in out of sync with the story again?

    It’s not Mary Worth It! If Dawn looks at that photo and that photo looks like a photo of Dawn…will a Tinkerbell come back to life? Or, will Wilbur choke on a ham sandwich?

    //seriously, if Life is Brutal and Dawn is already dead…oh, I’m not gonna make it that interesting to say that Wilbur’s column “I’m Alive” is celebrating the life of his daughter, who died in a ferry accident while he went on a solo vacation in Italy.

    The white pie Mary and Dawn ate signifying that Mary was communicating “across the void” with “Merry” aka Dawn aka….nah, I’m not gonna bother conjecturing that. As always, I’ll roll with it like Maxwell Mouse riding a furry tail.

  191. tallyHO
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Funkity Winkerbean

    Let this be a lesson to everyone. Never make a $2 million bet with a pirate who looks like Burt Reynolds. I seriously was hoping the ghost angle would work out. Sure, it still could but it probably won’t….. unless…..

    //ha. nah. I have typed enough about comics strips today.

  192. Droopy Says
    October 18th, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Did Newspaper Kraven actually kill anyone? Because when you consider the sort of goofball crimes the typical Newspaper-Spiderman villain commits, I’m figuring that Kraven didn’t get a long sentence. And I’m pretty sure that “supervillain” isn’t on anyone’s list of felonies. So suck it up, Parker. Letting Kraven out of jail in exchange for a life-saving secret isn’t a miscarriage of justice.

    Creepy Les: So yesterday’s White Flash goes nowhere.

    Mock Trail: Two milion dollars for Mark Trail? “Ah, senor, that is in the 1959 dollars of our nation! In American money–ten cents!” At which point Editor Bill Ellis decides he’s open to negotiations.

    Jugs Parker: So Bubba could buy out Avery? Why bother?

    Mary Mirthless: Why does Yawn look so freaked out?

  193. Droopy Says
    October 18th, 2012 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    9 Dickweed Lane: Using Air Force One to get a president from Point A to Point B costs a lot less than the alternatives, which would include arranging comunications, travel for the presidential staff and security arrangements. You want to charter all that every time a president travels? And hope that there aren’t any problems with each new arrangement? McEch, you’re as ignorant as a head of cabbage and not half as useful. With real cabbage we could make coleslaw.

  194. Comcis Fan
    October 18th, 2012 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    MW: Uh, when I said you should feel free to talk to me about anything, including your sister, I didn’t literally mean you should feel free to talk to me about anything, including your sister.

  195. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 18th, 2012 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    FW Okay, this is really petty of me, but I’m bothered by the fact that Cayla’s father has switched sides for no reason.

  196. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 18th, 2012 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#193): Hear, hear!

  197. Vanya
    October 18th, 2012 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    9CL: Up until now I had been extremely disappointed in our choices for President. Obama strike me as a low-energy narcissist who has either been unable to avoid being controlled by the financially connected elite in the Democratic Party, or just actively sympathizes with them. Romney is a high-energy narcissist willing to say anything to win and whose “business” career really shows more understanding of financial engineering than any actual business skills, and who was a condescending ineffectual pr*ck as governor of my fair Commonwealth. But that said, Brooke’s cheap mealy mouthed unearned cynicism has made me remember that despite their many flaws, both these men, like most politicians, have made real personal sacrifices and do truly care about the future of our nation. We live in a great country where a crypto-fascist like Brooke can never rise to high office or hold political power, and for that we can be grateful. Thank you Brooke, for restoring my faith in America.

  198. LP2004
    October 18th, 2012 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#197): Well, to be fair, anyone who thinks he’s qualified to be president has to be a narcissist pretty much by definition.

  199. gleeb
    October 18th, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    3-G: What? Someone kissing Evan? After Margo herself has found him wanting?

    ‘bean: “Of course I’m smug. I just forced tens of people to tilt their heads.”

    Spidey: He located a rare plant while in prison? Kraven’s good.

    Dick: Whoa, giving the violent police detective’s daughter-in-law your number. That’s some lousy drug pushing, Hideous Deformity! You’d better be ready to run. To the Moon, perhaps.

    Gil: The receiver had a sudden epileptic seizure. Good news for Milford and Terry Gallagher!

    :

  200. Peanut Gallery
    October 18th, 2012 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#181): Nevertheless, thanks for providing the backup system! You never know when a swarm of bees might get sucked into the main engines…

  201. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    October 18th, 2012 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    BB: I believe Miss Buxley feels empathy for the tree because obviously Killer and Margo Magee proclaimed their love on it, which undoubtedly involved some variation on an ancient pagan rite. She should really feel sorry for Killer. Poor schlub has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. Carving initials into trees is only the beginning. Next, she’ll be carving them on his chest. I have a feeling his nickname is about to become even more ironic.

  202. Shrug, Speaker to Snorkel
    October 18th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#y107):

    There are several other BEETLE BAILEY characters with full names in the list here:

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_are_the_Characters_in_comic_strip_beetle_bailey

  203. JimiOcala
    October 18th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    In that second panel it really looks like Beetle’s sportin’ some wood of his own.

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    best in its field. Awesome blog!
    Great blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out.
    Please let me know where you got your theme. Kudos
    Hey there would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog soon
    but I’m having a hard time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking
    for something unique. P.S My
    apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
    Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your post seem to be running off the screen in Opera.

    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The style and design look great though! Hope you get the issue solved soon.
    Many thanks
    With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of
    plagorism or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of completely unique
    content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any methods to help protect against content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

    Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring
    on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on
    the same subjects you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my visitors would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.
    Hi there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to look it over. I’m
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    Great blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own
    site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m
    totally confused .. Any tips? Thanks a lot!

    My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.

    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about
    a year and am worried about switching to another platform.
    I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can
    import all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would
    be greatly appreciated!
    Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail.

    I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.
    It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this outstanding blog!
    I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will share this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
    Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your website on
    my iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at
    how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful blog!
    Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My blog discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Excellent blog by the way!
    Right now it looks like Expression Engine is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is
    that what you’re using on your blog?
    Superb post but I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further.
    Bless you!
    Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having
    difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!
    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
    get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there
    any way you can remove me from that service?

    Cheers!
    Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting a new initiative in
    a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to
    work on. You have done a wonderful job!
    Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site?
    I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had
    issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.
    Hey there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?
    Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
    Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
    I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?
    Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving
    me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.

    This design is incredible! You certainly know how to keep a
    reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I
    was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job.
    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.

    Too cool!
    I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your blog. It’s a
    very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often.
    Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Fantastic work!

    Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to
    me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and
    checking back often!
    Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my
    myspace group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Cheers
    Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!
    Wonderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but
    I never seem to get there! Many thanks
    Hi there! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
    Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m
    thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any points or suggestions? Appreciate it
    Hello there! Quick question that’s completely off topic.
    Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
    My web site looks weird when viewing from
    my iphone 4. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!
    I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll
    go ahead and bookmark your site to come back down the road.
    Many thanks
    I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website
    yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as
    I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks a lot
    Whoa! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on
    a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and
    design. Excellent choice of colors!
    Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure
    why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same outcome.
    Hi there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to
    the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!
    Howdy this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting
    a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience.
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no data backup.
    Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?
    Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m
    undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

    Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on.
    Any tips?
    Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m
    not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share.
    Kudos!
    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% certain. Any suggestions or
    advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on
    this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the
    blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
    I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the
    problem still exists.
    Hi there! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!
    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!

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