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Non-spooky soapers

Mary Worth, 10/31/12

“So, wait, Mary, you’re asking me if I’m ‘OK’ that my new crush is physically attracted to me because I look uncannily like his dead sister, who is dead, and also was his sister? YES OBVIOUSLY I AM OK WITH THAT!!! You know the thing that I dread more than anything in the world is being dumped, and if Jim loves me because I look like his beloved dead sister, why, he couldn’t ever stand to lose her again, could he? Come on, Mary, help me find pictures of her online so I can start dressing more like her.”

(Also, follow that link above to discover that the Great Dumpening that started this whole storyline happened in mid-May, which means that this joyride of Dawn-misery has gone on for more than six months. And not that it hasn’t been great, but … what do you think Toby and Ian are up to, you think?)

Judge Parker, 10/31/12

“What am I going to do with a chainsaw, boss?” asks the thuggish hillbilly minion. “You’re going to use it for its intended purpose,” replied his boss, a violent drug lord whose empire was under risk of exposure, “which is to say that you’re going to cut up a fallen tree so as to prevent damage to our friend and future business partner’s expensive and impractical automobile!” RIP CHAINSAW DISMEMBERMENT STORYLINE, YOU WERE TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE REAL

248 responses to “Non-spooky soapers”

  1. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Zits: Oh, I get it. Jeremy’s mustachioed dad with a darker complexion and a Charlie Brown shirt. Subtle.

    MW: Check out a picture of his mother. You may have a full blown Oedipus complex going on here.

  2. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MW: “And what I mean by ‘Are you okay with that?’ is ‘You better be,’ because you’re running out of guys in this town, Dawn.”

    RxMD: Ah, I see, Pacific Beach is where “we take care of our own,” i.e., it’s an anarcho-communist squatterville that has abolished money so that each person gives what they have and gets what they need, hence, Rex and June get food for medical services rendered, while Melissa’s apartment building has been converted into out-patient housing and hospice care.

    Ziggy: And like that, Ziggy’s bootlegging empire came crashing down.

  3. feralcanadian
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    wait, was Mark Trail kidnapped or enlisted? He’s already back on vacation… what’s the over/under on Mark wearing a silk Hawaiian shirt by the end of the story?

  4. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Frazz: not up to usual standard.

    A&J: mom is apparently Meg Griffin gone goth.

    Lio: fragging bullies. yay.

    Bizarro: I laughed at Toado.

    JUMBLE: an Andrew Luck costume?!? nice.

    OBH: *snurk*

    Retail: helllllllllll-O NURSE!!! *goes to pour cold water on Jamus*

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: So the radio handling protocols have designated “Papa” as the leader’s callsign, which is vaguely homoerotic. The mustache in panel three, though, is insanely homoerotic.

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . The Medical Love Song.

  7. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    JP-Say boss can you tell me again about the farm we are going to have and how I will get to raise rabbits.

    MW-”He’s probably attracted to me because of my likeness to Merry even though her breasts were bigger than mine.”

    RMMD-Enjoy the thought that I planted in your head of you stripping to help this stranger that you don’t know.

    A3G-What’s the name of the movie? “Candy Land: A Porn Parody”?

  8. Kinghasnoclothes
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Cleats: interesting fourth wall sighting

  9. Señor Tortilla
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    JP: Well, even if Avery’s parts aren’t going to be scattered around the cave, at least have him revealed as a fraud. Please.

    FC: I…what? Isn’t that sort of thing banned in the Keane household?

  10. tb4000
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    S4th: I know it’s basically kind of dark comedy, but I feel so bad for Sally and Ted that their neighbors and peers seem to despise them so much. It’s still funny though.

  11. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#9):

    You really have to wonder if the author actually knows how to write a good story but only gives us tantalizing glimpses of what it would be due to the need to avoid upsetting his syndicate and regular, non-ironic readers, or if he really just set out to tell the straight-up story of a multi-millionaire movie producer who talks a drug dealer into converting his land into a solar farm in order to secure his access to Brown Trout, with no complications or conflict more serious than a de-scented skunk.

  12. gleeb
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Hey, kids, have you heard the buzz about J G Faherty’s latest opus? It’s really the bee’s knees!

    ‘bean: I thought assembly was Ohioan for “stand in the hallway and be smirked at by an ass”.

    Bubba’s Chainsaw: Yes, that’s perfectly sensible. You can’t have a vehicle visible near your illegal plantation. Chainsaws running, though, will attract no attention. But, hey, Avery’s drink is broken.

    Mary: “Are you OK with that? He sounds like some kind of sister-screwing freak!”

    Phantom: Note the Llongos’ traditional thatched water tower.

    Gas: Finally admitting that Walt Wallet is an undead thing.

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#10):

    Re: SF – As others have predicted earlier, I think today’s strip makes it clear that the conflict will boil down to the fact that this was a history-themed costume party and their costumes are out of place.

  14. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Luann – Sigh. “She’s only working the counter so that she can con the customers!”, says the person she hired for his ability to con the customers. So, again, why does he still work there? Given that he is better at scamming than she is, shouldn’t he be the one who works the register?

    And, if he isn’t working the register, what is he doing? Why, he is standing around in the dining area, recruiting customers to entrap Ann. Of course, if Ann were to reprimand him for hanging out with his ‘friends’ while he is on the clock, it would just prove how EVIL she is.

  15. pugfuggly
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MW How could you say that anyone really looks like Dawn? Every time she turns around her body morphs into some new shape. Hells, between panels one and two she dropped two hat sizes and gre a neck.

  16. pugfuggly
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]


  17. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

  18. bad wolf
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MW: Really, Dawn? A “dead ringer” for his late sister? Really?

  19. Droopy Says
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    One of the many things that makes no sense in Jugs Parker is, if you want the hummer off your humping mountain, why do you need to cut up the tree? The tree is blocking the hummer from getting all the way up the mountain. You can leave the tree in place and get the hummer to use this remarkable invention called “reverse gear.” Be sure to put Sam and Bea under it, because I don’t want to endure a week or two of comic misunderstanding as they deal with a chainsaw-wielding dimwit.

  20. McManx
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke — I’m not so sure those are Halloween decorations as they are the dark spirits that cavort around their Lord Marmaduke as he sleeps.

    Mary Worth — Okay, with the creep factor swelling beyond tolerance, we’re begging for some meddling here. “Are you okay with that?” is a little weak on the response; need to ramp up the biddy factor times ten on this one, Mary.

    Judge Parker — The more I look at Bubba, I think the art team got their clip art books mixed up. There were looking for a scary hillbilly, but clearly Bubba is more Captain Morgan.

    Pluggers — A decapitated plugger?… f-f-f-f-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-c-k.

  21. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    What are Toeby and Ian up to? As usual, Toeby is dressing like Ian’s sister, who is still alive. Less squicky, or more? Discuss.

  22. Marc
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#7): RE: A3G- Can’t wait to see who they cast in the role of Grandma Nut.

  23. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    MW: “A DEAD ringer”! Anyone else catch that?

  24. AhClem
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    RMMD – “Thanks for all the food, and the opportunity to strip for charity. But when do we get our free boat?”

  25. TheDiva
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    JP:The hillbilly guys look more like pirates than the pirates in Mark Trail.

    MW: So, if Oedipus complex is being attracted to your mother, and Electra complex is being attracted to your father, what’s it called when you’re attracted to your sibling? Lannister complex? Riff-Raff complex?

  26. Dono
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    “Dawn, are you ok with calling out ‘Do me, brother’ during your lovemaking?”

    “Dawn, are you ok with–where the hell is your purple pantsuit?! You’re not Dawn!”

  27. Marc
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    A3G- Evan looks downright pissed to have to answer the phone at that apparently very early hour. Nobody would know that it is that early seeing as how both of them are already fully dressed and Evan even seems to have found the time to dye his hair back to blonde.

    Mark Trail- Old Pop has done nothing but talk about Otto since he was given custody of Mark by Otto. Yet Mark feels the need to refer to Otto as the man who brought him there to apparently avoid confusion. Is that pelican named Otto too?

    Mary Worth- “Late sister. Dead ringer. Get it Mary? It’s because she’s no longer alive. Isn’t that clever? I’ll bet Jim will love that joke. I know Dave would have.”

    Funky- Yeah, never once had a halloween assembly in high school. What exactly would the purpose be anyways? To line up hundreds of depressed looking students so they can be smirked at by their douchebag teachers while they discuss ‘the Latins’?

    Luann- She probably wouldn’t have to be working the register if you were doing your job TJ. Your doing exactly what got B wad fired but on top of doing nothing and talking with your ummm aquaintances, you’re also planning to incriminate Anne.

    Cranky- Old people constantly saying things wrong is not funny. No matter how many days in a row you do it, it doesn’t get any less annoying.

  28. Nekrotzar
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    What exactly is Dawn doing in the first panel, pouring something into a measuring cup while holding it up, instead of resting on the counter? And at a tilt no less? And in the second panel MY GOD she’s measured a dry ingredient in a liquid measure, and so carelessly that it is heaping over the top? Mary, get this walking disaster out of your kitchen before she completely ruins the salmon squares!

  29. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    FW: No, I just said that Funky Winkerbean was stupid.

    Luann: It’s like watching a monkey trying to fuck a fottball…

    MW: This is just so……..wrong. Then again, this *is* Mary Worth.

  30. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    In “Tucker & Dale vs Evil”, a group of snooty college kids assumes that every hillbilly in the woods with a hand tool must be a flesh-hungry psycho killer. In a series of mishaps, they get themselves killed in grisly fashion, albiet through no fault of the hillbillies. One can only hope that when Smug Sam sees Adam coming at him with a chainsaw, he immediately runs, trips over a cliff edge and impales himself on a pine tree at the bottom.

  31. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#25): Lannister Complex, maybe. But the Targaryen family tree didn’t have any branches.

  32. Horace Broon
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    FC: Family Circus has just referenced Warhammer 40K. NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANY MORE!

    HtH: Helga wants a traditional Vetrnætr feast, with none of these weird Samhain traditions Hagar picked up from hanging aound Britain so much.

  33. Lefty FPB
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Dawn is apparently so not OK with the possible incestuous implications that her secret Human Torch® power has started to soften the measuring cup. And who actually pours flour into a measuring cup?

  34. Horace Broon
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#13):

    Oh, good catch! The question now is, will Ted insist He-Man counts as “historic” because the cartoon dates from 1983, or will he give in to the madness entirely, and start claiming Adam of Eternia is a genuine historic figure?

  35. Poteet
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW — “Great Dumpening.” Aww. I’d like to think there’s a tiny British village with that name, or maybe Greater Dumpening and Dumpening Bottom.

  36. CG
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Wait, Adam also sprouted a mustache between panel 1 (goatee only) and panel 2 (killer ‘stache). HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

  37. Arabella
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Zits: Lazy cartoonists do the lamest things.

    Argyle Sweater: Is this a “Plugger” crossover?

  38. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#34):

    Best would be to claim to be dressed as archaic Greeks of the Homeric era, and then start slaughtering the house guests.

  39. TheDiva
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    9CL: Panel one contains some of Brooke’s best dialogue to date.

    A3G: “Candy Sweet”? There is no way this role does not involve going topless.

    C’shaft: “I can’t believe that after making you cripplingly lonely and desperate for attention with my contempt and neglect, you would do anything to reach out to the one person who treats you with any semblance of kindess!”

    FW: So according to Tom Batiuk, the top costumes for The Kids These Days are: Mario, Elmo, a non-sexy nurse, a generic (and possibly drag) princess, a viking, Jack Skellington [*], a semi-sexy bee, a colorblind ladybug, a generic pirate, and one of the kids from It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.. Clearly a faithful portrait of high school life. (Also, wasn’t there a wedding and a kid going into the Army somewhere in this strip?)

    Luann: If Ann is conning customers, what has TJ been doing this whole time? Unlocking their secret desire for large fries?

    SM: I’ve been to Vegas several times, most recently a few months ago, and I have never seen showgirls just walking around in public in full costume. Maybe this takes place in the same universe as the Elvis movies?

  40. Patrick
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    “Oh, Dawn, everything’s okay, so long as it catches you a man. Now let’s bake another pan of Invisible Nothing.”

  41. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Not to be nitpicky, but wouldn’t mid-May to late November be more than five months, not six?

    Okay, that’s nitpicky.

  42. btown
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    JP: By the way, Adam, now that we’ve turned over a new leaf and become good guys, with the help of our friend Avery, I expect you to start wearing clean overalls. No more wiping hillbilly style!

  43. TheDiva
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#31): Except I get the impression the Targaryens were into it mostly for the blood purity thing, whereas with Jaime and Cersei its more a case of straight-up lust (with a side of narcissism).

  44. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    MT: Yeah, Otto and his three friends stay at the warehouse, where we keep our supplies. The pass code at the door is 0tt0 – that’s with zeroes, not the letter O, get it? Anyway, the guns are stored in the back in the unlocked cabinets and the ammo is on the shelf nearby. The keys to some motor boats are on a hook by the front door. Otto and his crew are out scouting for Americans to raid from about 9 every morning until about 4 or 5 in the afternoon. What else did you want to know?

    Why, yes, they did kidnap the Gorton’s of Glouchester fisherman! He was in a fancy boat!

  45. Greg
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    JP: “After I slash and dismember some college kids who happen to stumble in the woods up here, I’m going to lead my aerobics class! Hence my head and arm bands. Now, everyone, let’s stretch!!”

  46. TheDiva
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    And now I’m psychoanalyzing Song of Ice and Fire characters, so I’ve added another notch to my hopeless geek belt.

  47. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#43): I don’t care how much indoctrination I got about blood purity, I’m not going to marry my sister. No incest in my lineage. My parents were total strangers.

  48. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    JP: Hold up, I’m still back at this bull about Avery being a tough-as-nails negotiator. Is it because he made Sam go fishing? Like I always say, why show when you can tell?

    JP2: Typical. Save the Hummer!

    MW: Thanks for the depressing news that this arc has been going on for six months. I’m wondering how many of those months it’s been taking Mary to write one “Ask Wendy” column.

  49. casino LF
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Be careful, Dawn. A Lannister always pays his debts.

    FW: Way to wrap up that depressing enlistment arc, man. Wasn’t there also a wedding? Nothing about any of that, huh?

    9CL: DIAF

  50. Illustrator Steve
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    MT – Mark has been shown his way around the lilttle village just in time for him and Andy to go out trick or treating tonight. Mark has choosen to dress up as a Saint Bernard where Andy has decided to dress up as an avid environmentalist clueless wilderness writer. This should be loads of fun to watch as the poor villagers listen to the jerk dressed up as a talking dog while handing out rotted coconuts and Palmetto bugs to the avid environmentalist walking on all fours!

  51. Gringo
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#30): C’mon, you know that if Sam falls off a cliff, he will land on a huge pile of cash. Kind of like how the judge fell off a roof and landed on the NY Times bestseller list.

  52. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    I think I finally understand Andy Capp. It’s not about a shiftless, violent English alcoholic at all. It’s more about existential dread and the human propensity to keep repeating the same poor decisions, a Huis Clos for the post-literate retiree set, if you will.

    You can tell it’s trick-or-treat time on Apt. 3-G: Evan’s not wearing a tie or a jacket. Spooky…

    Judge Parker: Avery’s hoping what we’re all hoping for: that the Feds will spot the hummer and send in the black helicopters to pacify secure napalm the mountainside, putting a merciful end to this storyline.

    Luann: Au contraire, Ox. It is we who are doomed – doomed to an eternity of reading Pibgorn – for all eternity. May God have mercy on our souls.

    Mark Trail: I dunno. I think Mark’s getting into the tropical/Key West lifestyle just a little too much. I mean, he’s walking around in a t-shirt without a top layer. What’s next? Shorts? Sandals? Experimentation with this man called “Otto” who he assumes the old man is too senile to remember? This could lead anywhere. If I were Andy, I’d be nervous, especially after my owner demonstrated he’d “go there” back in 2000…

    Mary Worth: Moy, Giella: if you’re reading this, I would totally officiate at Dawn and Jim’s wedding. As long as she’s okay with that, so am I.

    Sinfest: Lower your firearm, dear.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#32): O_o


  54. Illustrator Steve
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT – When Pop refers to Otto’s “WAREHOUSE” it must be some sort of code name for the little island’s RULER’S PALACE. Otto calls it his warehouse instead of his palace so as not to rustle the feathers of the poor villagers. After all, the last thing Otto needs in his little village is an orgainized revolt by the islanders created by some nosey wilderness writer whos been going around asking questions! Now that Mark has caught on to how clever Pop is, tomorow Mark plans on asking Pop how the fishing is around these parts, which will be code for, “WHERE do you keep the keys and gas for your outboard?”

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MW: As if a wardrobe that varies between “Gymboree” and “that section in Macy’s where only 80-year-old women dare to tread” weren’t enough, this week we have further evidence that Moy and Giella have never met an actual college-aged person.

    Instead of cooking something that involves every white ingredient in Mary’s kitchen, Dawn should be drinking cheap cocktails with a bunch of girlfriends, having a conversation that sounds something like this:
    “So then he’s all, don’t go to the pier! And I’m all, like, why?”
    “Seriously? Dude’s afraid of the pier?”
    “That’s random.”
    “So what did you do?”
    “Then I was, like, okay, and he was like, how about ice cream?”
    “Heh. Ice cream’s good.”
    “Can’t complain about ice cream.”
    “But get this—I look just like his dead sister!”
    “Woah. That’s some fucked-up shit.”
    “No kidding. You going to do him anyway?”
    “Meh. I dunno.”
    “Dawn, what’s the deal with you and the pier, anyway?”
    “Dude, I was just trying to fuck with his head.”

  56. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s a shame that Mary wasn’t drinking a glass of water, because the second panel really does need a spit take.

    JP: “We’ve got a deal with this gentleman. Even if the solar farm doesn’t work out, Hollywood has to make another Pirates of the Caribbean movie sometime.”

    MT: Ox may not be the brightest bulb in the circuit, but it looks like he had enough sense to leave Luann for an island vacation.

    FW: Ah, it’s Les Jr., Funky Jr., and a bunch of kids Batiuk can’t even bother to feign interest in, lucky them.

    Crock: Some inept intern mixed up the fat joke and bigfoot joke files.

    Baldo: Right, Cruz. Like you haven’t been fiddling with the knot for the past half hour.

    BSt: But, but, Snuffleupagus was never on Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

    Drabble: Maybe if the kid’s friends are big comics history wonks they’ll get the Yellow Kid resemblance.

    BB: Yeah, Sarge is here for the chick with glasses. Way to read the signs, Buxley.

    H&L: Isn’t Ditto a little old to have cookie smeared all over his face? Like, Trixie never has that.

    GT: Either Sweater Vest here is getting a percentage of Terry’s gigolo fees or he thinks endlessly repeating a name represents a “marketing masterpiece.”

    M-Dawg: Hey Marm, nice craftsmanship reassembling the skeleton!

    A3G: “Not to be pedantic, but what you’ll be doing is playing candy sweetly.”

  57. Pozzo
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    “Do you think if I dumped this cup of flour over my head, it would make me look sufficiently dead that Jim would be even *more* interested?”

  58. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#32): FC was really odd. It was as if a Keane wrote the dialogue inside the circle, and someone else, someone with a pop-culture worldview that reflects American society in the current year, erased his sub-circle dialogue and inserted something that no Keane kid has ever said or would ever say, but for the demonic intervention.

  59. Poteet
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    JP — Wait a minute. That hummer belongs to Avery? And I made several caustic comments earlier because I thought Avery swiped it from Sam, and everyone here was too polite to point out my error? I feel like such a fool…*sniff*

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @casino LF (#49):

    FW: Way to wrap up that depressing enlistment arc, man. Wasn’t there also a wedding? Nothing about any of that, huh?

    Please tell me you’re not asking to see the Les/Cayla honeymoon. I’d like to keep my eyes.

  61. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I’m still love love loving Capital One Viking guy Adam in JP! I hope Avery keeps him on the payroll.

  62. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#27) re MT: Maybe they’re all Otto, i.e., they’re pulling a preemptive Spartacus.

    @Horace Broon (#32): Tomorrow will feature Billy and Jeffy fighting over the relative merits of 1st edition vs. Pathfinder. “But the rules are more consistent and rational!” “If you don’t like a rule, #*@%ing change it!”

  63. Poteet
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#55): Excellent! I hope you’ll make this a regular feature as the story progresses, so we can keep getting the Dawn & Girlfriends angle.

    To give credit where it’s due, Mary’s question “Are you okay with that?” seemed amazingly hip to me, compared with her “Ask Wendy” ramblings. I would have thought she’d say something more like “Is that, when you reflect upon it, a reason for concern for you?”

  64. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Oh, that Henry, getting into the bawdy stuff at the library again. At least he can read, right?

    FC – “Mommy, I want to trick or treat dressed as Benny Hinn, or Ernest Angely.”

    MT – Welcome to Jonestown 2, Mark!

  65. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#59):
    Aw, don’t worry! : )

    Here, have some whiskey on the rocks and some pancakes. I’ll leave the cuteness up to Queek, the Master of all things derpy and squee. : D

  66. Poteet
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    FW — Sorry to repeat my question from yesterday, but did other Mudges have costumed high-school Halloween assemblies? I’m curious. I don’t remember any at my high school, but my memories of high school are spotty. And if you did have costumed high school Halloween assemblies, what were they like? Did they feature Halloween speakers or tossed candy or costume contests or history lessons about the origins of Halloween, or what?

  67. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#14): I often get the feeling that Evans has taken Nixon’s “If the President does it that means it’s not illegal” and applied the principle to his main characters.

  68. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: Other characters in Skyler’s movie:
    Pepper Burns
    Beefy Roast
    Silky Smooth

  69. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    BallardStreet: wtf? A wooley mammoth?

    Dilbert: An angry cat in lederhosen? Why didn’t I think of that?

    // Actually I did a Capitol One barbarian. “What’s in your wallet?”. It was, dare I say, refulgent.

    Jesus&Mo: ooooh!

  70. Batman Beatles
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#60):

    There’s not enough brain bleach in the world…

  71. Steve
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn has only one choice for her Halloween costume, and it involves zombie makeup and a name tag.

  72. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#68): Also, hippie hitchiker Granola Crunchy.

  73. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#68): Not to mention:
    Spunky Bottom
    Sugar Teats
    Delta Venus
    LaBia Pierce

  74. Little Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Big Nate: Granted, my berzerk button gets hit when Nate gets in trouble with the teacher, and I roll my eyes for the yearly “Nate gets his picture taken” plotline, but looking at the comments online…. my God, the butthurt! Have they never seen a Peanuts cartoon? This storyline was telegraphed so far in advance, Voyager 1 got wind of it before we did.

    Peoples, peoples, it’s a comic strip. It’s not like it’s9CL, Luann, or Funky.

  75. Austria
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Arch: The mannequin is a nice touch.

    FC: Billy discovered the world of cosplay.

    Luann: Heaven help me, I laughed.

    As for PBS and Blondie, what a coincidence. Elmo and Rat could terrorize an entire county.

  76. Mibbitmaker
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MW: [694,328th Arrested Development reference]

    JP: Instead of the ’40s Looney Tunes borrowed catchphrase “Gruesome, isn’t it?”, they’re going for “Gruesome, it isn’t!”. And I’m okay with that.

  77. Dr. Weird
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#32):


    Tell me about it! A Warhammer 40K reference in the Family Circus is one of the most surreal things I’ve seen… And here’s who he wants to dress as (right).

    Though I have a feeling this is an old comic with new dialogue too…

  78. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#68):
    I used to have work calls/contacts with a nice lady named Candy Gum. No joke.
    I don’t know if that was her originally given name or if she changed it.

  79. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Cannibal Crustacean (#73):
    How about Dawn Dusk?

  80. Calico
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Or Dusky Dawn

  81. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#80): Oooh! Good one! To that I would add: Waxy Gibbous

  82. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    3G – “Candy Sweet”? I suspect the “part” she’s going to “get” is going to be more of a “member.” Let’s just ask her co-star, Licker Quicker!

    Mary – Actually, Jim is afraid of Pierre, North Dakota, and how the natives pronounce it. Brrr!

  83. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#78): a gal I knew in college had been named Tajma Hall.

    she went by “Kim”.

  84. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man“Kraven’s the obvious suspect…”
    Uh oh! While you were taking the bait in Las Vegas, Kraven has apparently caused a massive hurricane on the East Coast!

    @Droopy Says (#y203): Your Family Circus comment sums up everything that needs to be said. COTW!

  85. Dood
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: The Hummer is disposable, but for the love of all that is good, save the hypnotically fascinating, unlimited-free-gas-for-life card, Sam!

  86. Uncle Lumpy
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#85):

    … save the hypnotically fascinating, unlimited-free-gas-for-life card, Sam!

    Why? He can pick up another one any time. Or borrow June Morgan’s.

  87. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#84): @Droopy Says (#y203): Your Family Circus comment sums up everything that needs to be said. COTW!

    While calling a COTW normally is a jinx, in this case Muffaroo’s perfectly right. As many of you know, I collect dictionaries, and slide rules. No dictionary I own, no slide rule I possess, has better words, or a truer calculation of Family Circus than Droopy Says’s effulgent masterpiece of commentary.

  88. Will
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): We had lots of “pep assemblies” at my high school, and it’s entirely possible that some of them coincided with Halloween. I can’t be positive, though, because I almost always ditched school when an assembly was scheduled.

    Blondie/PBS: Living in a swing state, I have to say, they’re not wrong. Election day can not come soon enough.

  89. Dale
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66):

    No way when I was in HS.

    Now there would be lawsuits over bringing devil worship into the school.

    When I was in grades 1-6 we dressed up and had a parade of sorts. Those of us who were lucky enough to walk to school started trick-or-treating on the way home even if it was Friday and Halloween wasn’t until Saturday or Sunday.

  90. Edgar The Bug
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Jim’s sister being a “dead ringer” for dawn may be one of the most tasteless puns I’m ever seen in a comic strip. Where has Mary Worth’s style and class gone!!!!

  91. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#Y219):@Nehemiah Scudder (#124): I do live in a big city, right next to a bigger city. I usually don’t shop at big box stores.

    Well, if you are ever in desperate need of a restroom, your best bets are big box stores, or Starbucks. In NYC, Starbucks may be your only option.

    // And while I have often said nasty things about Walmart, as a person who has lived on the road, I give them special credit for clean, easily accessible restrooms.

  92. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66):I think we were allowed to wear a costume if we wanted, but there wasn’t an assembly.

  93. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): I remember assembling in the yard for some sort of costume parade deal, but that was in grade school. (I have to admit I can’t remember at all what I did in high school. We did dress up for parties and trick-or-treating, but for on-campus stuff? No clue.)

  94. terrapin
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m not going to worry myself about Batiuk dropping both the wedding arc, and the enlistment arc without anything even resembling a segue. I’m just happy to have gotten through those two stories alive and sane.

  95. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): My memories were that we were allowed costumes (that is, until some bright induhvidual showed up as a hooker), but no formal assembly. Then again, at my HS, assembly generally meant early lunch (in latin, of course).

  96. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#94): Shh! Shh! He’ll hear you, and bring them back.

    //And that was your scary Halloween thought for the day.

  97. Peanut Gallery
    October 31st, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    PBS & Blondie both did the same stale old joke today, but IMHO PBS did it in the laziest way possible, while Blondie put some effort and imagination into the details.

  98. MySpoonIsTooBig
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    We had a little Halloween parade thing at my old elementary school, where I got to show off my awesome Energizer Bunny costume in the second grade.

    Also, Mary Worth features a conversation about a man attracted to a gal because she looks just like his dead sister and you call that a NON-spooky soaper

  99. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @bad wolf (#18), @hogenmogen (#23), @Marc (#27) & @Edgar The Bug (#90): In this context, “dead ringer” refers to a sex act wherein Dawn, fully clothed (at first) and soaked to the skin, lies on the ground, completely passive and perfectly still, while Jim attempts to “revive” her by any means.

  100. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m going with Dollanganger Complex. Wait until Dawn meets Jim and Merry’s kids.

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#97): Seconded. Not one of Pastis’ better days.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#Y170): @Nehemiah Scudder (#71): I shudder to think what sort of corollary effect that might have on Rule 34.

    I think Pastordan’s Law actually is a sort of corollary of Rule 34.

    So, Pastordan walks into a bar, and the bartender says

    1. Ok, Rev, but no more off-color jokes. You remember what happened the last time!
    2. So! It has come to this!
    3. Don’t you have a class to teach?
    4. You know, we have a drink named after you?
    5. Sorry. It’s the pirate costume.
    6. Well, yes, the inflatable coccyx DOES make your butt look big.
    7. Clergy play by their rules, not ours!
    8. Well, after all the buildup, it’s about time Jeph Jacques gave us some fan service with Marigold!
    9. I’ve got a great idea for a cartoon, wanna hear it?
    10. You know, this isn’t a gay bar, don’t you?
    11. I think Otto is sincere in his desire to help his people.
    12. Or, as Donald Duck would say, “%$$&**&^(*%$%^&!”

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): coulda swore I closed that italics tag

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Just a general question. Where did the double slash (//) for additional paragraphs start? A number of people are doing it now, but I’m pretty sure it’s a recent development.

  105. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#23):

    Dawn can’t be a dead ringer. She’s still alive at the moment.

  106. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#105): Unfortunately.

  107. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth-Here’s hoping that the neighbors “Carrie” Sally and Ted and in a fit of rage Ted kills all the neighbors and burns the house down.

  108. Baka Gaijin
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#28): Technically, there is no way to ruin something that’s baked pink garbage.

    @lynn (#100): I hope to God “Dollanganger” is not the young Miss Keane’s full name. Bleah.

  109. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#107): oooh, cheery today, aren’t we?

  110. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#108): I never thought of that, but it would explain a lot about the Keane kids. Do we ever see more than the one set of grandparents?

  111. Hibbleton
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Love is ..doing the dishes? ..mopping the floor? ..Vacuuming the dust off the ceiling fan blades? I give you Love blows, aka The Lockhorns.

  112. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#104): Just a general question. Where did the double slash (//) for additional paragraphs start? A number of people are doing it now, but I’m pretty sure it’s a recent development.

    I believe I can safely say that is my fault. It is a sign for “comment” in a number of computer programming languages. It is also fairly common usage at “” and a few other sites.

  113. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann-TJ and Ox can run away somewhere and start a farm together. Tiffany will unfortunately be killed by Ox.

  114. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#113): Was ‘farm’ a typo for ‘family’?

  115. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#114):

    Nope. I mean an actually farm. It’s a “Of Mice and Men” reference.

  116. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): WRONG.

    Pastor Dan walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “What do you want me to do with a chainsaw?”

  117. Baka Gaijin
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    If anyone wonders why I haven’t been around much the past month, I’ve been “resting” after a supposed good friend threatened to hogtie me and drag me to this. With friends like that, who needs Luann de Groot and Toni Daytona?

  118. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#115): I was making a little joke, there. Very little. *slinks away abashedly*

  119. CanuckDownSouth
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): no parades or assemblies – I’m not even sure we were allowed costumes in HS. If we were, they sure weren’t memorable :-) (This was a bit before adult-slutty/innuendo costumes became really common.)

    We did have costumes in elementary school and the day usually wound up being half a class party, though.

    Meanwhile, my brother the Manitoban chemistry HS teacher is going around as Einstein today. He was The Man in the Yellow Hat last year, with guest appearance at lunchtime by one of my nieces in a monkey costume. So non-dress-code-violating costumes are OK there, but no assemblies.

  120. commodorejohn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    what do you think Toby and Ian are up to, you think?
    It’s setups like this that make me miss Dingo.

    Also, do you think Karen Moy realizes that the implication here is that Jim had the hots for his sister? That Dawn is a vehicle for him to vicariously live out the incest fantasy that he could never work up the nerve to broach to Merry while she was alive?

  121. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#120): The question is, how would Dear Wendy respond? “Dear Wendy, I am deeply in love with the woman of my dreams. My loins burn with passion for her, day and night. Yet she spurns me. Also she is my sister. What do you suggest?”

    Pardon the word ‘loins’.

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#112): I’m not looking to assess blame. It’s a change, but it’s not the kind of change that will traumatize me.

    // Messing with breakfast? That’s where you’ll see the fighting side of me. Gotta have coffee with cream. Need some kind of chewy brown food. Come Saturday I’d better see an omelette with homefries and toast.

  123. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#116): Chainsaw? Minced Oath! C’mon Pastor Dan, I know the Bible as Lit is tough; give the kids a break. It’s not like it’s part of their culture or anything.

  124. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone expect Mary Worth to slap Dawn? Or, maybe swing a left hook or whip out a cross for exorcising the stupid from Dawn?

    Basically, I’m wondering how and if Mary will be Breaking Dawn?

    (Josh wrote:
    Come on, Mary, help me find pictures of her online so I can start dressing more like her.)

    The photo Jim showed her has Merry (coff*Photoshop*coff) dressed in a purple blouse. That’s Dawn’s signature wear.

    As for Halloween assemblies….
    There weren’t specific assemblies, I believe we did some weird trick or treating to other classes (maybe just in our grade). We ate, we drank, we were merry….

    oops. “merry”? that is a dead ringer for how Dawn sees herself….that’s bad writing on my part.

  125. This Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    FC: If anyone sees my exploded brain, please tell it to get itself back together and come find me, okay?

  126. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#124): If Mary Worth biatch-slaps Dawn, that could be pretty bad. Look at the size of that forearm in the last panel.

  127. kanomi
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Half the cast of Luann can’t outwit a McDonald’s cashier.

    B.C.: How do you make a joke about a contemporary Halloween in a prehistoric milieu? Maybe not by introducing a one-gag character that still has startling implications for B.C. continuity.

    Dinosaurs have an afterlife? They can linger on in this world after they’re dead? Woah, dude.

    Ziggy: Since it’s Halloween, what is the scariest Halloween costume on the comics page? Surely it must be Ziggy. A fat, sad, bald man with no shoes and no pants shuffling aimlessly along, non compos mentis, that’s a rather sobering reminder of human frailty and mortality for us all. It’s not at all the kind of thing we really want to see in a Halloween costume, unless you’re really insensitive about the homeless. Fortunately, most people are not. So it is with great relief I can report:

    Your search – “Ziggy comic costume” – did not match any image results.

    Searching for just “Ziggy costume” will get you pictures of an early David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust, which all things considered is a much better suggestion for a Halloween costume for anyone, even your cat. Even Google knows that!

  128. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy costume: if I cannot see Rev. Mistopher Scudder in his kesho-mawashi, I would like to see him in the Ziggy costume. (There is a reason that the true Ziggy costume doesn’t come up on an image search, you know.)

    *blush blush blushity blush*

  129. Ride Dem Haunches
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#125): FC: If anyone sees my exploded brain, please tell it to get itself back together and come find me, okay? I think I saw your exploded brain over at QC, ogling Marigold in her borrowed bikini.

    // Or was that me? Um. Thighs.

  130. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#88): As lame as Blandie usually gets, I have to give them kudos here. It’s not like Elmo dressed in a suit and tie and said “Hey, I’m a politician! Ha ha!” (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Mr. Wilson in DTM) Elmo actually played the part of what a modern political attack ad sounds like.

  131. This Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ride Dem Haunches (#129): It was ogling Marigold without me? That little bastard…

  132. MWDG
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    MW: Why is Dawn going to a urine soaked hag like Mary for advice? Mary hasn’t been with a real man since that did that councilman a few years ago behind Jeff’s fat ass.

  133. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann: How’s this for a smart plan, TJ: Stop openly discussing your plans within eyesight and earshot of the person that you’re trying to fool. Yeah, that only works for Mark Trail. “Tiffany, I want you to go to the counter and ask if Ann can give you change of a $15 bill, then give her this bill for $25!”

  134. Baka Gaijin
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#121): [SPLODE!] the sound of Mary Worth’s head exploding.

    @MWDG (#132): Urine Soaked Hag. Great band name or generic competitor for Depend Undergarments.

  135. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    I imagine Mary/Wendy replying, :Why not find a woman who looks just like your sister? I know a young woman who is desperate for affection. But you may need to get your sister out of the way first…”

  136. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smif

    The kids are open to accepting apples. Maybe Hootin Holler is raising their kids right. They are respectful, polite and try to have a well-balanced Halloween diet. That’s pretty impressive.

    What? Wait!
    Snuffy is telling them to go steal some apples! Sigh. I guess that good kid thing is a phase.

  137. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Psychoanalyst

  138. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#137): I only noticed just now that the “this guy” to whom Dennis refers is, in fact, a bar-stool.

  139. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#121): But you omitted the most important line:
    “I’d give my right arm to be with her!”

  140. Geoduck
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Man, no one is really coming off good here. Joanie is working on a hard-fought senatorial campaign and schedules a hip replacement surgery a week before the vote. Her co-worker demands that she crawl back work while still under anesthetic (did Warren do something to piss off Trudeau?) And of course her son doesn’t even bother to show up at the hospital.

  141. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Instead of trying to solve the great issues of life and death, I am wondering who is supposed to be under the quilt in Garfield. It can’t be Odie. Odie doesn’t use words. It can’t be Jon. He wouldn’t use thought balloons. Also whoever it is, is standing on the table.

  142. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

  143. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#127):

    Searching for just “Ziggy costume” will get you pictures of an early David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust, which all things considered is a much better suggestion for a Halloween costume for anyone, even your cat.

    Don’t fake it, baby. Lay the real thing on me.

  144. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Hi & Lois
    I’m gonna flip a coin on this: Does Ditto take after Hi or Thirsty? His munchies and his stoner slouch are sending mixed signals. Though, his cognizant dog* seems to not be sending mixed signals as we read his mind.

    @Cannibal Crustacean (#138):

    Like I said, Dennis the Psychoanalyst/Future Bartender of Menacetown

    *whew. spelling error avoided! almost left the letter “n” in that word. And, on Halloween, if that is what I wrote then that would be a trick indeed.

  145. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#143): Say, why hasn’t anyone untooned Ziggy yet? Or Zippy for that matter? (Tho’ this one comes close.

  146. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): Early in my HS years, costumes were banned. Later on, they relaxed the standards. One of the first costume parades that they tried had a dude dressed like a lady. They sent him home. Two years later, there was a prize in the category of “Best Cross Dressed”. They were still kind of skittish on the whole pregnant nun costumes, though.

    That was when Halloween was supposed to be scary, not an excuse to dress like a lingerie model. Not that I’m a prude, but would my 17 year old self need that extra enticement? Considering that I did so badly at dating, it could reasonably be compared to having a type I diabetic take a tour of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

  147. Little Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    S4th: Calling it: Alternate-World Forths are still wondering where their all-but-automatic invite to the block Halloween party is. Bonus: Alt-Ted has a goatee.

  148. Little Guy
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): One year, someone won a prize dressed as a Rubik’s Cube.

    Yeah, it was that long ago.

  149. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    True, the MW story line has gone on for months and months, but really, it’s been awesome! Dawn gets shown up at the supermarket by her ex and ex’s new ho. The oft-repeated-now-classic line “LIFE IS BRUTAL”. Dawn and Wilbur’s harrowing tale of tragedy, except that no one died and that help was readily available, but our hopes were kept on tenderhooks for weeks. Then in comes one arm Jim, with his easy going personality – until he reveals his sister fetish, then he starts freaking at the mention of PIER. “Where are you going shopping, Dawn?” “Peir 1 Imports.” “NO IT’S NOT SAFE!!” I keep wondering if a new unsettling element will be thrown into the mix. Knowing MW, it will almost certainly go downhill from here, but right now, in the pre-letdown phase, it’s just amazing.

  150. Perky Bird
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): We were allowed to wear costumes in high school, but that was all there was to it. I remember my senior year I dressed as the Sixth Doctor (complete with a wonderful multi-plaid jacket I sewed myself). The previous year I wore a bear mask, furry gloves, and bear-foot slippers, along with red tights and a red sweatshirt with a hammer and sickle on it and was supposed to be Russia. No one except my best friend understood either costume. *sniff*

  151. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – So, June has gotten to the bottom of Pacific Beach’s sordid little secret. It’s not drunkenness, it’s not wild parties, it’s not even stripping or prostitution. It’s SOCIALISM!!!! Melissa will not be pleased.

  152. hogenmogen
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah, and clicking the link above to 5/15/12 made me love the story line even more. After weeks of “Gina and Bobby are in love and nothing bad ever happens to them”, we got the cryptic “OH GOD, NO!” from off-panel to kick start this story line. How cool was that?

  153. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    FC-Now tell Mommy about the character’s stats and about the guy you play it with in his basement and how hot it gets in the basement that sometimes you have to play in your underwear.

  154. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#148): Hope it wasn’t a freshman. Otherwise, I’m sure somebody would have tried to “solve” him.

  155. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#146): In my junior and senior high school years, the dynamic went something like this: A Known Malcontent dresses transgressively (boy comes as a princess for example) — is sent home and suspended for “disrupting the learning environment.” The next year, Popular Kid does Exact Same Thing — wins Best Costume.

  156. cheech wizard
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Ok, I have to admit, Luann was actually funny today. Blind squirrels and acorns, y’know.

  157. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#150):

    The “sixth Doctor” who?
    aw jeez. i cracked myself!
    Did Leroy eat the brown candy corn? Is that what is happening here? Or, have the kids evolved while the Lockhorns have not and it could only be documented in a re-used, re-gagged cartoon?

    So many questions, so little time….or way too much time for so many questions.

  158. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#118):

    I think Ox could do better than TJ what about that guy he was hanging around with when he was first introduced.

  159. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    That is one way to ruin a marital self-help group. Hagar’s got a million ways* up his sleeve.

    *to skip town and leave his wife. Kudos, Barbarian.

  160. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#150):

    Waitasecond! What about the Social Studies/History teachers?

    If none of them understood it, that doesn’t bode well for your alma mater.

  161. Cannibal Crustacean
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#159): “The problem was all inside your head,” she said to me…

    Just slip out the back, Aslak,
    Make a new plan, An,
    Don’t need to be coy, Kætiløy,
    Just get yourself free.

    Hop on a horse, Tors,
    Don’t need to deplore more,
    Just drop off the door-bar, Bothvar,
    And get yourself free.

  162. Charterstoned
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    MW – Mary’s “Are you okay with that?” sounds suspiciously like she’s testing the waters to see if Dawn might be willing to get into a kinky scene involving Mary, Dr. Jeff, Wilbur, and possibly Aldo (assuming they can dig him up somewhere). “Because, if you ARE, Dawn, maybe you could save the date on your calendar–let’s say All Souls Day, shall we?–for a little party I’m planning. I’ll make up a fresh batch of Salmon Squares, and I’ll be sure to have plenty of sammiches for Wilbur. Hope you can come!”

  163. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Cannibal Crustacean (#161):

    Kudos, Cannibal Crustacean!

    Double-stuffed Kudos for eliciting the Comedy Ks!*

    *and the mixed feelings about using them in tandem with the Rule of Three. Sigh.

    //speaking of Sighs…Mark Trail seems to be comfortably in place in this Caribbean Paradise, nee Distopian Dump filled with fish and fauna, and a warehouse that is likely to be the swingingest, plushest man cave this side of Batman’s Basement.

    Trail, and Andy Dog, are wandering about the non-tanned denizens who seem otherwise content despite “Otto” wanting to secure a cool Two Million to improve their lives. Two million. What is that? A Nature magazine’s profit for six months?

    Speaking of tangents, has it ever been alluded to that Mark may work for National Geographic? Or, is he working for the magazines for Sierra Club or for High Times? Bueller? Bueller?

  164. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Today’s neologism:

    MW— If Jim insists that Dawn must not change her appearance, you could say he was acting insistuously.

  165. Alter Ego
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – “I have a bunch of orders up… fortunately, I have this handy shelf to carry them on.”

  166. ArchieNemesis
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Please bear with us: the AJGLU-3000 had a storm-related humor brownout today. Tomorrow’s strip will make a little more sense.

  167. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    I won an album* as a junior in HS for going as The World’s Smallest Giant. (denim wrap as sort of a kilt, Dad’s jump boots, a miniature baseball bat as a club, etc.) The female winner was wearing Superman underoos. The year before, I had gone as The World’s Largest Hobbit, spending the day barefoot.

    *Foreigner Four, baybee!!

  168. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#59):

    Back when this arc started (last March, April?) Sam drove his own car to meet Avery at the airport. Avery had the (rented?) Hummer ready to go, and Sam drove it.

    But in Juggs Parker time, this whole arc only started a day or so ago. That’s got to be some sort of record!

    // Why did I fill my brain with all of this useless info?

  169. Peanut Gallery
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#77): So there really is such a thing? I thought that caption was some sort brain-salad from somebody who’s listened to way too much Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

  170. Peanut Gallery
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#169): some sort *of*

  171. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#141):

    I was puzzled, too. The only explanation I could come up with is that it is an actual ghost under the quilt, who is just dispirited to bother wearing a sheet the way the other ghosts do.

  172. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Jim’s sister is late? Why is she late? Is there traffic? Or is this the other kind of late? Are you ready to date a man who is going to be a father-uncle?”

    MW 2-”Dawn, that’s not enough flour. You need more flour than that when you are making a flour pie.”

  173. stinkfoot
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: So Jim’s sister had a teen wattle, too, huh? Did it also appear and disappear like a frog croaking? For most frogs such calls are a way of attracting a mate. Score one for Dawn, I guess. Add another point for my psychologist.

  174. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#171): Phew, thanks. I was wearing myself out on that one.

  175. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    JP-Bearded henchman will accidentally kill himself when using the chainsaw to cut up the Hummer he cuts through the gas tank.

  176. lynn
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Incidentally, I got knocked off here for about an hour and a half. I figure God was punishing me for envisioning NS in his mawashi. I am heartily sorry for having offended thee…

  177. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#171):

    It’s the ghost of Lyman.

  178. Jim in Wisc.
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: What the heck!?!? “The Pet and the Pendulum”? I could have sworn he was doing “Travels with Charley.”

  179. Tmdess
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone suggested “my likeness to Merry” as the next big teenage catch-phrase?

  180. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#163):

    the swingingest, plushest man cave this side of Batman’s Basement.

    Or Bubba’s Mineshaft!

  181. Baka Gaijin
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#166): OK, today is covered. What’s the excuse for the last 365 days?

  182. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#176): I’ve had some problems refreshing the page over the last hour or so.

  183. Dr. Weird
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#169):

    Yes indeed. Warhammer 40,000 is a sci-fi miniatures wargame, the biggest of its kind by far… There have been more of the miniatures sold in the UK than there are people in the UK. The game’s slogan is “In the grim darkness of the future, there is only war.”

    So not at ALL something you’d expect referenced in the grandma-friendly world of the Family Circus.

  184. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    MW-What Dawn isn’t comfortable with is Jim calling out Merry’s name when they have sex.

  185. Drew Funk
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    I just caught up on this week’s Judge Parker, and I have to say that I am excited for the future. If they are building a solar farm, they should call in the experts, like Rocky Ledge and Godiva. Perhaps Legless Steve can do the legal work. Judge Parker Emeritus could write an adventure story about it in which Bea is considerably more attractive and throws herself at Avery, who still looks like Avery. I can’t remember what Randy and April are up to, but I’m sure they can help with something too. They can all show up together for a one panel “Merry Christmas” special, assuming we are talking about Christmas 2013.

  186. commodorejohn
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#121): That depends, which era are we talking?

    Ask Wendy (by Wilbur Weston): “I find that, in times of emotional turmoil, nothing soothes the soul like quality mayonnaise…”

    Ask Wendy (by Mary Worth): “Kant once said that ‘Beneficence is a duty…’”

  187. Drew Funk
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    I’m still behind on Mary Worth happenings, but I refuse to enjoy an incest-themed storyline that refuses to call back to Von and Vera.

  188. maryworthy
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#41):
    No, it is 6 mos …. as I learned math.

  189. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#184): Would it be better if she weren’t sure if he meant Merry or Mary?

  190. Shrug, Speaker to Samhain
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    I can’t recall ever having an in-school Halloween celebration in my grade/high school years (small-town northern MN in the 1950s/early 1960s), but I do recall a Halloween themed Cub Scout meeting once at which I came as an octopus. Does that count?

    // “Don’t know why I allus gotta wash out the octopush.”

  191. Dr. Weird
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#169):

    And on the other side of things, gamers are freaking out about the Family Circus referencing Warhammer 40,000 and being mildly amusing.!

  192. commodorejohn
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#191): Next year, Love Is… does Vampire: The Masquerade!

  193. Nathan
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Ok, probably been noticed before, but is that even the same person in frame one and frame two of Mary Worth? Dawn looks near 50 from the side, 25 from the front.

  194. commodorejohn
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    “Sigh…Dave used to have the hots for his sister.”

  195. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

  196. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#194): “onii chan!!!”

  197. Arabella
    October 31st, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    During my high school days (aka “olden times”) Halloween was still considered a kids’ holiday, so we were of course too sophisticated to dress up or to go trick or treating. We did have a Halloween Carnival in elementary school, actually a fund raiser. When my kids were in school, Halloween transitioned from a costume and party day in the early years to becoming a “celebration of autumn” by the 90′s. I think it has been totally eliminated from the schools here now. Can’t have anything that might possibly offend anyone. ~end rambling musings~

  198. Droopy Says
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#84): Thanks. I started several comments about that FC, but the best I could do was something like “Child abuse: FC creates a debate on the issue, then takes the ‘pro’ side.”

  199. Droopy Says
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#66): My strict, repressive parochial high school didn’t have any sort of Halloween event, aside from the occasional exorcism. But we did have Latin. And dog Latin. Batiuk lives up to the motto of “He knows faith.” That’s “Fidem scit,” pronounced feed’em shit.

  200. Zerowolf
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    FW: Did you know that Les Moore is Latin for “smirking asshole?” It isn’t, but it ought to be.

  201. Zerowolf
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    FC: So Jeff Keane figure out how to use Google to find a relatively with it reference and photoshoped it into his father’s old artwork. Sorry, Jeffy, no matter how much photoshopping and signing your name onto your father’s old work you do, I can not consider you a real cartoonist.

  202. odinthor
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lefty FPB (#33):

    [...] And who actually pours flour into a measuring cup?

    Well, um, er . . . me. With a heart full of hope, I’ve set the measuring cup beside the bag of flour many times, uttering encouraging, life-affirming maxims from the best authorities, and the darn flour just won’t leap out of the bag into the cup by itself. This is probably due to some moral failing I have. Unfortunately, it would take too long to go down the list and figure out which particular one, so I’ve gone back to pouring flour into the cup.

    H&J. — Not “jurist,” juror!

    JP. — Avery’s eyes suddenly sparkled. “Well, Bubba, strange that you should mention ‘hummer’ . . . “

  203. Geoduck
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    My WA state high school was fairly relaxed in regards to costumes, tho I never wore one myself. The one I will always remember is one of my (male) teachers coming to school wearing a full pink bunny-suit. Then, during the day, someone loaned him a couple of ammo bandoliers to wear. Best costume ever.

  204. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#17): It was suppose to keep the urchins off the lawn. Didn’t work. Now everyone comes by to take a picture.

  205. Jamus The Bartender
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    FC: Yeah, I had to look that all up. I didn’t think Billy would have the patience to paint one-inch miniature soldiers for a game played on graph paper, but I was proven wrong.

    Luann: Meanwhile, the town of Pittsville went without hot dogs while scheming and intrigue went on behind closed doors….

    FW/The subject of Halloween assemblies: Okay, yeah, we did the Halloween march in grade school. I went dressed as Evel Knievel, Captain America, Jungle Jim, and Green Lantern during various years. I think I might have had the flu one year, I dunno. By the time 6th grade came around, Mom The Bartender had become a strong Christian, so no Halloween that year. I think we did some stuff in the church basement, away from the other sinners. 7th and 8th grade, we were getting “too old” for that sort of thing, and in high school, I honestly don’t remember as I was either A. Spending a lot of time hauling speakers around in my off hours for the high school “Glee” choir, or B. Doing a fall play with the same crowd. In college, I dressed as The Shadow and scared hell out of a little kid while handing out candy. Good times.

  206. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    It’s Ripley’s! Can you believe it?

    In March 2012, MONIQUE JEFFERY of Victoria, Australia, dislocated two vertebrae in her neck BY SNEEZING!

    That not exactly correct. She wasn’t sneezing, she was laughing after reading Cul de Sac.

  207. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#206): I forgot my apostrophe “s” on “That.” I’m always forgetting where my “s” is.

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    interesting Halloween at the new place.

    younger kids, what few older teens were out were pushing strollers. .. *squick*

    awesomely kewt Golden pup in costume early.

    Best costumes were both cross-dressed, a young gal in bow-tie and suit as Dr. Who and a young lad as Justin Beiber.

    night ended early, but it was cold and raw out here.

  209. Chaze
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    ……taking a break from trying to find gasoline supply somewhere here in the Northeast. Getting ugly…..

    JP – if Waylon Jennings were alive, he’d be narrating this strip right now.

    MW – Are we actually seeing Mary’s White Pie being created from scratch? Key ingredients appear to be peeled potatoes and white flour. Yum!

    ASM – The second panel makes me want to count to four over and over again.

    Every other strip – We get it. Batman costumes.

  210. demoncat
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    mw are you kidding given that i thought only dave was the one for me. and when i got dumped thought life was brutal now i got a stalker to be in jim i am fine with that dawns expression is telling mary. that or dawn thinks mary has finaly gone off the deep end

  211. Liam
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    MW-Jim was attracted to Dawn because he has a fetish for young women who look and dress middle aged.

  212. Dale
    October 31st, 2012 at 7:59 pm [Reply]


    While all the scheming is going on in visual and audible range of Ann, Ox has 33 Teenie-Weenies dropping to room temperature.
    WHAT about the weenies?
    Think about the children. There’s no connection, but it seems to be the PC thing to say in most situations.

  213. Sequitur
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#208): Got me a rocket launcher. That keeps ‘em off the lawn.

  214. Chip
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    “Our friend and future business partner’s expensive and impractical RENTED automobile!”

    I hope he sprang for the insurance!

  215. The Ridger
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#20): Paging Thursday Next! Bubba and Otto are clearly in the wrong stories!

  216. Anonymous
    October 31st, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    BB: Yes, Ms. Buxley, because YOUR date Beetle is drop-dead gorgeous, little Ms. Glasses with perky tits had better take her specs off lest she become green with envy.

    MW: Maybe Jim never had a sister. Maybe Jim photoshopped an online pic of Dawn with one of himself. And maybe he has done it before. Many times. And has killed them all! Now there is a real psycho storyline for you!

  217. Droopy Says
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#200): Latin is a dead language, as dead as can be, so it’s safe from Les Moore. But there is “Lessus,” for “wailing,” which seems appropriate. And while there’s no word for Batiuk in Latin, or any other respectable language, it just might be a cognate of the verb battuo, battuere, battui, “to beat.” Exactly who or what is being beaten is left as an exercise to the reader’s imagination.

  218. The Ridger
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Has anybody told Evan that sounding really, really surprised that your client got that part may not be the best tactic for a publicist?

  219. The Ridger
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#202): Scooping the flour usually results in less of it all over the counter. For me, anyway.

  220. I speak Jive
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#218): This entire story has been a training manual on how not to be a publicist.

  221. Poteet
    October 31st, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for all the interesting Halloween school stories! Enjoyable and entertaining.

  222. CanuckDownSouth
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#219): ditto. Also makes it easier to knife the top for precise measures. (If sifted is requested, fluff with spoon, gently spoon into the measure, then knife.) I only pour from the bag to get it into a big storage cannister.

  223. billman
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#202):

    What he’s probably referring to is that you shouldn’t pour the flour into the cup (potentially very messy). The preferred procedure is to dip the cup into the flour (or any dry ingredient) and then scrape off the excess with a flat edge.

    The actual professional preferred method is to add flour by weight (pour it out into a bowl or plate or paper on a scale) rather than by volume; much more precise and takes into account the moisture content of the ingredient.

  224. Mysterion
    October 31st, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Bubba was always my least favorite of the Dreadnoks, but he did come with a cool chainsaw.

  225. Alice
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    So here’s my theory on the current Luann arc. You know how writers say their characters often take on a life of their own and refuse to do what they’re told? I think that’s what we have here. See, Evans appears very badly to want the Designated Villain Ann Eiffel to get fired, as this isn’t the first time he’s attempted a storyline to achieve that very result. However, TJ, Tiffany and even Ox are on to him. They see how unjustified punishing someone for doing her job as a manager would be, so they’re rebelling against Evans by feigning stupidity and ineptness. Perhaps they’re even in collusion with Ann, in the gutters between panels.

    Either that, or Evans simply has no idea what he wants to accomplish with this storyline. Take your pick.

  226. tallyHO
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#223):

    There’s a really good chance that is some variation of what Odinthor means.
    When I first read this,
    @Lefty FPB (#33):, I read it so quickly it made me think that measuring cups weren’t necessary.

    But, it is true that pouring large amount of flour, especially for making pie dough, would not be the preferred method for everyone. If the cup is large enough that you can tamp it down to get a good measurement (simply by gently knocking said cup on the table) what is the harm? Obviously, some people have their own tried and true methods for figuring out their exact measurements. It may not be by Betty Crocker’s recipes but it works based on how they go about mixing ingredients.

    You all know how that goes.

    If you are used to making something a certain way–and it works for you– you stick with it. Most likely that is where Odinthor is coming from.

    I don’t even know if I’ve ever owned a measuring cup or those little, silver spoons or tiny cup things on a ring. The system relies on at least one mistake in trying something new. You know how it goes.

    That said, it is probably just because Moy may cook and the artist doesn’t or hasn’t done much.

    If he did cook much we’d be certain Mary is cutting up apples and Dawn is making dough, not waffle batter, dough. But, the Mary Worth artist isn’t using precise anything. Amiright?

  227. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 31st, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#208) said: “interesting Halloween at the new place. … Best costumes were both cross-dressed, a young gal in bow-tie and suit as Dr. Who and a young lad as Justin Beiber.”


  228. FOOBED no more
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    I went to school in mid-Michigan in the 60′s and 70′s, and I only remember wearing Halloween costumes to school in elementary school (public). We also brought candy to share. In 6th through 8th grade I went to Catholic school. The younger kids wore costumes IIRC, but the older kids didn’t. (I think at that time we thought we were too “grown-up” to wear costumes.) I do remember when I was in 7th grade we (the 7th graders) threw a surprise Halloween party for the 8th graders. We had stuff to eat and music, but I don’t think we wore costumes.

    We didn’t wear costumes at all in high school (I was back in public school by then), and we certainly didn’t have Halloween assemblies, though we had pep assemblies on various Fridays during the football season.

  229. undeadoranges
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    Supposedly, Jeff Keane’s son was responsible for today’s Family Circus. Why doesn’t he write the whole comic? I would be entertained, at least, bringing the number of people who enjoy Family Circus to at least one.

  230. Mad Carew
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    FC may have hit a new high point for tabletop miniature wargaming references in print comics. OTOH, I’m not sure if the US press has mentioned WH40K in the 21st century until today…

    I’d’ve personally expected Billy to be more of a Blood Bowl or Heroclix player.

  231. Droopy Says
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Everyone should keep their eye on Kraven, because it hurts to look at that well-guarded tiara. Would it have killed the “artist” to have taken perspective into account? It would have? Mr. Artist, please take perspective into account. Art for art’s sake, for God’s sake!

    EffYou Wankerbean: A hurricane forming over Lake Erie? How do you do it, Batiuk? How do you manage to be both ill-timed and scientifically illiterate in so little space?

    Pluggers: So a lack of will-power is a sign of Pluggerhood? Explain to me why Pluggers take pride in being Pluggers.

    Mock Trail: What adds to the child-molester vibe is the certainty that once again Trail will endanger a woman and child in his effort to escape.

    Jugs Parker: Bubba doesn’t want a scratch on the hummer, but let’s hope Sam’s blood, guts and bone chips are acceptable.

  232. odinthor
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    The odinthor method—and odinthor has reveled in, well, many things, but one of them since childhood has been Cookery of all sorts—is to put the (empty) measuring cup into the (empty) mixing bowl, as, in recipes in which one is likely to be using a measuring cup for flour rather than a spoon measure, flour is generally the first item to come into play, and then to pour away from the flour bag at just the right angle with a sort of jiggling action. Should an abrupt avalanche of flour occur, the excess goes into the mixing bowl, and can easily be poured from it back into the bag. The dip-it-out method doesn’t work for me, as I find that—unlike said avalanche, for which there is potential but not likelihood—it is inevitable that, in dipping it out, flour will have collected on the top edge of the cup, and usually on the top edge of the handle as well, such that, willy-nilly—willy-nilly, I tells ya!—it falls off ‘twixt flour bag and mixing bowl, making A Big Mess®. It’s a matter, however, of what one gets used to. And a slightly lesser or greater amount of flour? Eh, one learns by the feel of the mixing what’s what and adjusts the other ingredients to suit. And that, he added, is why it’s better to hand-mix than to use an electric mixer.

  233. billman
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#226):

    Well, as mentioned in an earlier post, Dawn is using a wet measure device for a dry ingredient. That is, the cup she’s using is intended for liquids and the top of the measure is below the lip so that it can be lifted and moved around without spilling. A dry measure cup has the top at the lip and is intended to be overfilled then scraped even to fill the measure.

    Which is all to say i think we have a case of Frank Bolle yet again not knowing how something works and getting it wrong. So you have a point about it being the artist’s fault.

  234. billman
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    @billman (#233):

    Or Joe Giella as the case may be.

  235. Droopy Says
    November 1st, 2012 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    The New Adventures of Queen Victoria: That three-way crossover is a tour de farce!

  236. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 1st, 2012 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#128): I was trying to think of a costume that couldn’t be made “sexy.” I think we have “sexy Q-Tip,” “sexy carrot,” “sexy trash can,” “sexy rhino,” “sexy glass of water,” and “sexy monkey vomit,” but I don’t think anybody has been able to do a “sexy Ziggy” costume. And I pray they never do.

  237. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2012 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    @billman (#233): “Dawn is using a wet measure…” Dawn is about as interesting as her eponymous dishwashing detergent and twice as smart.

  238. Comcis Fan
    November 1st, 2012 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn needed to dump someone and it’s only appropriate that she choose an emotionally traumatized, physically maimed patient at the hospital where she volunteers. It’s even more special that HIPAA regulations apply to their relationship, and that he seems to be the only patient to whom she volunteers her attentions.

  239. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Anyone up for some Lizzie Borden action? Check out Thursday’s Dick Tracy.

    Yeah right. Like Brookins thinks first, I’m going to believe a Plugger will diet and second, that a Plugger isn’t going to drop that diet faster than a plain rice cake at the slightest provocation.

    No, Dolly, give Barfy a few of those Hershey’s Minatures. Just wait for those entertaining seizures start as theobromine overdose takes effect.

  240. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2012 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    Beetle, Beetle, Beetle. If you’re half-lodging something in someone’s anus, it’s supposed to be a turkey leg.
    Beetle, Beetle, Beetle. They repealed “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” You can tell the nurse your leg injury was cause by a fisting footing gone wrong.

  241. Baka Gaijin
    November 1st, 2012 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    I find it somehow appropriate that Marvin’s little car goes “Scoot, scoot, scoot.”

  242. gleeb
    November 1st, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    3G: Evan means to kill her and play Candy Sweet himself!

    Blondie: The stars on that sign make it look like he’s really hurting the image of himself.

    ‘shaft: Ed knows there’s an internet?

    ‘bean: If Batiuk wanted to be interesting, he’d do two things. First, instead of having Lefty stand there in front of an file cabinet drawer waiting to be assaulted by Dinkle’s blather, he’d try to show us how a one-armed person opens it without putting the file down. Second, he’d drop the marching band crap, which has never once been something that a reasonable person would find at all funny.

    Tales of the Chainsaw!: Adam is Bubba’s son. No doubt a suitable sinecure will be found for him with the new solar farm.

    Mark: Mark is too stupid to be frightened by his predicament. And that’s his hole card!

    Sun, Fried Clams, and Cancer: Now we see the rest of the story: Rex’s increasingly frantic attempts to shake off the grateful old man!

  243. annieLurk
    November 1st, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#192):
    OMG! Vampire the Masquerade. 15 or so years ago, while on a business trip, I found myself being the only person at a fairly respectable hotel who was not involved in this event, or whatever they call it. A few of them took the time to explain to me what it was all about. I noticed that the only drugs these kids appeared to be using involved caffeine (Mountain Dew) and nicotine. I retreated to the pool area with my wine. The next morning the place was trashed: broken furniture, the ubiquitous mirror by the elevator also broken, and more cigarette butts and Mountain Dew cans than I had ever seen in one place. Does anyone still do this silly stuff? Shoot, it probably now involves iphones now. And, I hope, no hotel trashing.

  244. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 1st, 2012 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#232): Wonderful. I’d read any cookbook you wrote.

  245. caisno LF
    November 1st, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#60): You’re so right, I’m sorry.

  246. jvwalt
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    MW: “What do you think Toby and Ian are up to?”

    I think Ian is considering gastric bypass surgery because Toby can no longer find his dick under the endless rolls of belly flab. But maybe that’s just me.

  247. Beesbelly
    November 1st, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Mary worth: what does it mean that when I read that this story line has been at it for six months my first thought was “hmm it feels shorter than six months”…

  248. King Tut
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    MW: Toby and Ian are obviously cooking up another end of story pool party.

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