Main content:

An Irish tragedy

Gil Thorp, 11/3/12

Boring as the current Gil Thorp storyline has been, it at least has kept me guessing. Mostly those guesses have been along the lines of “OK, now it’s going to be about something other than Terry Gallagher becoming a manufactured Milford celebrity more or less on the whims of two other ill-defined random dudes, right? How about … now? Or, now? Nope, still about that, huh.” But also I’m confused as to how the plot’s going to end, though I think today’s strip seems to set things up for the traditional narrative of hubris followed by destruction. How else are we to interpret the final panel of today’s strip, in which Terry is paraded about the stadium like a Celtic God in the back of a chariot, one of his women at his side (oh, he’s making out with multiple girls, FYI), receiving the fist-pumping adulation of thousands? Oh, it’s going to turn ugly for Terry Gallagher. Ugly indeed. (Just kidding, probably he’s going to just get yelled at by his makeout partners and Milford won’t make the playdowns and he’ll smile and say something wry.)

Dick Tracy, 11/3/12

Dick Tracy has been lighter on the graphic, brutal violence since the reboot, but it still has its high points! I like the fact that the little arrow-box, a classic Dick Tracy device, is being used to make sure you realize that yes, that ash-like material Sparkle Plenty scooped out from under the flames in the stove is in fact hot ash, and that right now Measles’ already scarred flesh is being horribly burned. We’ve actually seen Gertie sneaking up on him with an ax for the last couple days, so at least the exact form of horrible pain Measles is suffering has come as surprise!

Archie, 11/3/12

Ha ha, that Mr. Lodge sure does get mad at Archie! Who knows whether it’s because he’s poor or he’s ginger or he wants to touch Veronica’s lady parts or he’s just kind of a jackass, but whatever the case, we now know that Mr. Lodge thinks of Archie as a mere object, a subhuman “it,” to be destroyed without a second thought when the time is right. Enjoy your next visit to stately Lodge Manor, Archie! It will be your last.

217 responses to “An Irish tragedy”

  1. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . a stern chase is a long chase.

  2. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-I’m reminded of a person of Irish descent who was riding around in a convertible and he was shot and killed. That man’s name was John F. Kennedy. Is there where Terry is headed towards?

    RMMD-”Out of town man saves local resident when local hospital would have just let the person died film at eleven.”

    RMMD 2-”One of us. One of us. One of us.”

    MT-Dawn, take Jim kite flying. Kite flying will ail whatever is bothering him.

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Archie: I was just having a conversation with someone this week about how our local crossword puzzle has become dumbed down considerably (ex. “___ Francisco”). I guess its not as bad as thing in the Archieverse where the puzzles are only a shrunken 5 x 5 grid.

  4. anon
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    so what is a four letter word for pest? I vote for ‘ants’.

    bugs. lice. nits. gnat. rats.

  5. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    “it”=The word “Archie”, not the person…and English isn’t even my native tongue.

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

  7. Downpuppy
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    The great thing about Gil Thorp is that the prom queen appears to be somebody’s mother on her way to the bowling alley.

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @anon (#4): BANE or PAIN also fit. Oh we are such nerds

  9. sporknpork
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Actually, Mr. Lodge must be a vocal proponent of spelling reform, a controversial extremist even among supporters of the SoundSpel system, preferring “Rchy” to “Archie” instead of the proposed “Archee,” while simultaneously co-opting people’s names with associated character traits for outright word substitutions dependent on situational and microcultural factors to create maximum language clarity in any given household. All of this explains why Veronica’s crossword puzzle consists of so many two- and three-lettered words that a first grade teacher wouldn’t even waste time using it during a time-wasting activity.

  10. cheech wizard
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    DT – It’s not someone getting shot between the eyes and the deformed slug spinning out of the back of their skull, or a limousine full of mobsters t-boning a gas tanker and screaming in agony as they burn to death, but it’s something. You can’t say the new Dick Tracy doesn’t respect traditional values.

  11. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    In Russian “Archie” would be a four letter word, Ah, ar, cheh, ee (sorry, can’t find the Russkie character setski.) Mr. Lodge has just outed himself as a Soviet sleeper agent, deeply immersed in his role as a decadent, effete capitalist. Damn, and just the other day I said this strip was an all-American creation. Excuse me while I look under my bed for Bolshies.

  12. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    DT-Be it hot ash or be it hot coals Measles’ face is still going to be horribly scarred. Maybe he’ll change his name to Ash Face.

  13. sporknpork
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    So did that kid place his hand on Terry’s shoulder or a wet twist mop shammy?

  14. TheDiva
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Archie: A four letter word for pest is…pest. I don’t think this crossword is very challenging.

    GT: Are we so sure Terry is deliberately dating multiple girls? I’m pretty sure I couldn’t tell most of Gil Thorp’s female supporting cast apart from each other without sensitive instruments. Maybe he just got confused.

  15. John C Fremont
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y52): @This Guy (#y55): @LP2004 (#y68): I learned early on that I could get out of marching band by playing football, and that I could get out of actually playing football by doing it very, very badly. True hell for me was Pep Band, where I had to show up for all those horrid basketball games. I think the only songs we ever did were Fever, the theme from The Magnificent Seven (known to us as That Marlboro Song) and That Budweiser Song. Over and over.

    (Sure, this seems off-topic now, but an hour or so ago…)

    @Droopy Says (#11): At first I thought you were doing a Yakov Smirnoff bit.

  16. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#15): In Worker’s Paradise, comics laugh at you!

    In Russian, Archie would be ???? (if I copied things correctly).

  17. Bill Murray
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    When did the late Marty Feldman join the cast of Dick Tracy? and in drag no less

  18. Walker of Dog
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo becomes light-headed and her knees buckle. “Oh my God he’s talking RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! So hawt.”

    S-M: That MJ sure knows how to sprawl.

    MT: Ava’s husband: Another victim of the Death Panels.

    MW: Uh huh… and persuading Jim to smell your finger is supposed to help him how?

    RMMD: Rex is baffled. That old lady was black?

  19. SDL no more!
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Looks like Measles got the ax and the ash. The ax in the shoulder was in silhouette in panel two. Evidently that was too violent for plain presentation. But the Hot Ash -> treatment was just family friendly enough for the Sunday funnies.

  20. glires
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    DT – The silhouette sure looks like Measles is going down with an axe in his back in panel two, so perhaps panel three is part of a kinder, gentler, Dick Tracy in which Sparkle is trying to quickly cauterize his wound… with hot ash.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Archie: Hmmm… it is too hard to think of an actual 4-letter word meaning “Archie”. I just don’t know. Let’s see…. we, of course, take into account the arch feelings Lodge has for the boy, and…………
    Nope. Can’t think of a one.

    GT: “They were right, this is easy…. too easy…”

    DT: “You two are useless — Tracy with the gun and ma with the axe! Looks like I gotta take this into my own hands while the two of you just waste time…!”

  22. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Archie: Perhaps the word is “flea”? Now, if it were instead a 5-letter word, then it could have been “roach”, and since in Don Marquis’s famous series of Archy and Mehitable humorous short stories, Archy was in fact a cockroach, and the name’s spelling also has 5 letters, so “Archy” would have fit both the clue and the space allowed, and then Mr. Lodge’s joke would have… er, not really been a joke after all. Never mind.

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#3): No, Mr. Lodge is reading the newspaper. It looks like Veronica is doing the Weekly Reader puzzle.

  24. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#22): Toujours gai!

  25. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    BB: Careful there, Amos. Those liquid nitrogen drinks can be quite dangerous!

    Marm: As our nation’s municipalities are plunged into ever deeper budget crises, they will start to outsource policing to vigilante demon dogs.

    MW: “I like Jim, and I want to help him … have a healthy prostate!

  26. TheDiva
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    9CL: Solange, I know Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. is a good friend of mine. You, sir (madam?), are no Ebenezer Dusk, Esq.

    A3G: Trying to carry on a conversation while your tongue is down her throat? Now that’s a mistake.

    C’shaft: It’s funny because seniors are easily duped and can’t be trusted to take care of themselves!

    FW: Isn’t the Westview High Marching Band supposed to be this world-class champion ensemble, or at least superior to the perpetually inept football team? None of the marchers are in sync with each other, and half of them are holding their instruments like they’re carrying something noxious to the trash can. But that’s not important, because ha-ha, rain!

    Luann: Two weeks later…
    Weenie World Regional Manager: Is this the guy, Ann?
    Ann: Yes! He’s been driving away my customers with his aggressive upselling tactics for months!
    TJ: What? No! I doubled your profits in one month!
    WWRM: And they took a nosedive the month after that because none of your customers returned! You’re short-sighted behavior is costing us in the long run!
    TJ: But…but…she’s the one who’s conning customers! I have it on tape and everything! She says “I con, but I con smart!”
    WWRM: …Is that all? Does she give any details of illegal activity, or any context whatsoever to that statement? For all I know, she was speaking in jest, or saying a line in a play or something…
    TJ: No, but she says her name!
    Ann: He tried to blackmail me with that recording! You should have heard the humiliating things he wanted me to do!
    WWRM: TJ, you’re fired. Ms. Eiffel, I think you should retain a lawyer. I know a lady who specializes in sexual harassment suits…
    TJ: You can’t do this to me! I’m the good guy! Greg Evans said so!

    MT: Is Ava related to Senora Momjeans from the other “Mark Trail among the savages” arc?

    MW: “Sure Jim is a little obsessive and psychotic, but don’t give up on him! You need to find some sort of husband, and let’s be honest, your chances of landing a good catch with your Amish helmet hair are slim…

    SM: Good thing casinos aren’t all that concerned about security, or they might not have hired some random out-of-towner to mop floors.

  27. Illustrator Steve
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    MT – “Ava’s husband was killed by A BUNCH OF GOVERNMENT THUGS! She lives alone now with her son. I try to keep an eye on her. I bet YOU’D like to keep YOUR eye on her, eh, Mark? Ava’s son leaves this afternoon for our village youth program and will be away for three days leaving Ava alone and sad. What Ava said she needs is a man to make her happy, if you know what I mean, eh, Mark?”
    “I may be able to help her out, Pop, because I know how to please a woman. The secret is to tell them first thing in the morning that their PANCAKES look good and they get all happy and stuff. The important thing to know, Pop, is, how do Ava’s PANCAKES look in the morning?”

  28. TheDiva
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#26): “Your short-sighted behavior,” not “You’re.” Fifty lashes with a wet noodle from the grammar police.

  29. Baka Gaijin
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#26) on Luann: That’s what’d happen in a world where the sky is blue and the grass is green. In the Luanniverse, it’s wacky, wacky, wacky.

  30. gleeb
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Beetle: Believe me as a seasoned wetbrain, that is one weird way to pour.

    ‘shaft: So, noodly Jeff (or Joel or whatever) is proved right. This is the least interesting end one could have to this particular set up.

    Curtis: Politics ain’t beanbag, and all the tea with sugar and jam in the world won’t stop that.

    ‘bean: Ho ho! More humorous band japery! Plus the introduction of a new young character! I look forward to this Castle fellow being ignored completely in favor of more of Creepy Les’ smirking.

    H&L: Hi is desperate for all to be forgotten. Death, where is thy sting? Come and take him to the river Lethe, that he might know oblivion. Or in other words, another golf gag.

    Rex: One of us! Rex has stumbled on the hideous Cult of San Diego!

    A&J: A PSA, but artistic. Look and learn, whomever is sweeping up Hank Ketcham’s crumbs.

    Dick: Dammit, wasn’t someone shot yesterday?

  31. Horace Broon
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo thinks hooking up with Evan is a mistake because once she’s killed him after mating, she’ll have to hire a new assistant.

    MT: Man, those pelicans know everything!

    Phantom: Look out! The horse has a gun!

  32. Rusty
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Archie: You can play crosswords on the side of Archie’s head.

  33. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#32): And Mr. Lodge has several cross words he’d like to play on the side of Archie’s head.

  34. CanuckDownSouth
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Mary spends weeks rehashing the same “be happy to be alive” platitude because she can’t say anything more nuanced sensibly. She’s not alarmed by Jim’s panicked aggression and doesn’t seem to get that Dawn’s instinct to back off isn’t the same as ignoring, much less socially isolating, the guy. This supposedly-sage advisor can’t even explore what social contact Dawn *would* feel comfortable with and how she might learn whether Jim was getting better? [Honestly, grab my arm like that and blame in on mental trauma? We wouldn't be meeting outside of the very public areas of the hospital]

  35. Lorne
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Today’s Archie really needs an arrow-box indicating “HOT ASH”.

  36. boconn
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    I see Mr. Lodge is reading the same Chinese language newspaper as the gentleman on the bus… ???????????????? To bad Archie skipped that AP Chinese class!

  37. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Sheesh, what a hypocrite.

  38. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#8):
    Also, “Mary” or “Dawn.”

  39. Cloudbuster
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Those pelicans sure know a lot about Ava (a.k.a. ‘The Widow Chavez’)! I’m glad the bush is keeping an eye on her!

    MW: No reason to let his abuse, his controlling tendencies, his paranoia or his creepy association of you with his dead sister get in the way of a promising ‘friendship!’ After all, it’s not as if you’re the sort to have obsessive relationship tendencies and emotional instability of your own! You go for it, girl! I’ll have more advice ready for you next week, and we can bake my special mayonnaise casserole!

  40. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    3G – Wow. she sure likes getting tipsy and playing tonsil hockey with half of NYC!

    Poteet, FYI, Lillian is, I believe, a friend of Rose’s – I think there was some kind of flashback or ghost/spirit-like sequence involving a demo’d old dance hall a while ago spurred by a never-mailed letter from a long-past lover of Lillian? Not quite sure. If anyone can remember please fill me in.
    Lillian is kind of vulnerable in the romance department, so here we go again.

  41. Alter Ego
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    love is… thinking up ploys to get him to bend over.

  42. Leifr
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    How does Mr. Lodge keep his glasses on?

  43. bad wolf
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Luann–”No, no. What i said was, ‘Icon, but Icon smart.’ That’s a smart-looking icon at the Greek Orthodox church.”
    “No, no. What i said was, ‘Icahn, but Icahn smart.’ Carl Icahn is a financial genius!”
    “No, no. What i said was, ‘I’m Khan, but I’m Khan smart.’ I had a Star Trek II theme going on for Halloween.”

  44. mollificent
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Watch your back, Terry Gallagher.

  45. Blackcapricorn
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    I don’t know Josh, this GT storyline might become a lot less boring now that the Junior Class Queen has opened up a rift in the space-time continuum using only her hand. Will intergalactic space slugs ruin Terry’s latest fieldgoal attempt? Inquiring minds want to know!

  46. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    GT: In the third panel, Homecoming Princess Cyndy Canty pushes on the space-time continuum and rips apart its very fabric. You’re right, Terry Gallagher – things are easy, when you’re sitting at the side of the supreme Mistress of the Universe. Just keep telling her that the hole she has opened in the Milky Way galaxy is a good thing. A very, very good thing.

  47. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Blackcapricorn (#45): Damn, I failed to scroll up when previewing the previous post. Sorry!!!

  48. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 3rd, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Apologies for dumping and running (ew) today, but I’m off to help build the set for The Sound of Music. We’re rough-draftin’ today!

    Note to self: resume reading with comment #1!

    Agnes – And hello to you too, Mr. Cochran!

    Blondie – Clever Dagwood! Not only did he have the pamphlets printed already with both their pictures, but he gets the mailman to deliver them. AND if he hadn’t accepted the nomination, Dagwood could still have asked Herb to do it and wouldn’t have had to change the pictures!

    Snuffy – It was more effective when it still said “How’s th’ Li’l Bastard…?”

    Dick – Hey, Measles! Don’t do anything rash!

    love is… …whatever floats your boat.

    Mark – And now for the tragedy stylings of a random flock of seabirds. (If I say “albatrosses,” they’ll turn out to be cormorants.)

    Momma – Being human isn’t the world’s oldest malady, but it looks like Momma’s got the cure anyway.

    Ghost-who-says-D’OH! – Hey, the trap worked!

    Speed – Okay, sad (but enthusiastic) chuckle.

  49. Red Greenback
    November 3rd, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

  50. This Guy
    November 3rd, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: If she thinks the Crusades were about searching for the Holy Grail, I really hope she’s not the history teacher.

    Pluggers: When I was a kid, I never understood why we had to dress up in uncomfortable clothing to go worship a guy who wore sandals and a robe.

    RMMD: “I’m Amber Thomas, hospital public relations, and this is my counterpart, R2-D2.”

    RwO: Wait until they find out the vein of word balloons is riddled with batiukite and mceldownium impurities.

    S-M: “It’s my true calling! See you whenever I get fired!”

    The Dick Tracy I see on Darkgate has a much different color scheme from the one Josh posted. Weird.

    @John C Fremont (#15): Wait, so marching band was mandatory in your school unless you had a scheduling conflict?

  51. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 3rd, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G I bet you’re surprised, aren’t you? You thought Evan was just some nebbishy eunuch, like all the other men in the A3G-verse. But it turns out Evan is quite the sex machine. And where did he learn to kiss like that? His Aunt Cathy, of course!

    FW If you want to show a life guard on duty during a rain storm, leave him in a swim suit, don’t dress him up in funny rain gear, too. Don’t overplay what might have been a mildly funny joke.

    MT Yes, I try to keep an eye on them. Sometimes for as long as three or four hours a day. I’ve even cut a little hole in the wall of Ava’s home so I won’t disturb her while I keep my eye on her.

    Crankedshaft Shouldn’t someone be intercepting and hiding Lillian’s email to keep her from hooking up with her boyfriend? Like maybe the ghost of her dead sister?

    Luann Yep, good old TJ: judge, jury, and executioner. In Luannworld, this is what is known as teejaylante justice. It’s so easy when you’re not EVIL.

  52. Feltwright
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: One of the most difficult subjects for an artist is the human face. That’s because humans are usually wired to examine faces very carefully and observe even tiny variations in proportion, features, and expressions. It’s how we recognize other people and realize that Dawn is a horrible shape shifting alien whose near eye is much smaller than her far eye oh god oh god oh god

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#47): “snarpologies” at their finest. :-D

  54. The Mighty Captain E
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    DT – Well, I don’t know. Measles is exclaiming “Ahhhh!” as the hot ash is searing his flesh. I would think something like “AAAIIIIEEE!” would be more approapriate or perhaps “AARRGGGHHH!” or “WAAAHHH!!!” or even “@%#!#)(#$^!” (my translation may be off). Perhaps his current dermatological affliction (which really resembles boils more than measles scars) is soothed by the application of a heated poltice and he is groaning in relief more than screaming in horrific pain. But then again, there is an axe embedded in his shoulder. OUCH!

  55. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-I look at that third panel and all I can think of is, “Back and to the left. Back and to the left.”

  56. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Feltwright (#52):

    We humans are an odd lot aren’t we.

  57. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Feltwright (#52):
    Dawn Weston, causing biometric id systems to fail and catch on fire wherever she goes.

  58. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    MT-Thanks for the bit of exposition, flock of seagulls.

  59. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @The Mighty Captain E (#54):
    Head On!
    Head On!
    Head On!
    This DT gives “facial” (as in salon facial) a whole new meaning.

  60. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Did Jameson lose a lot of money at the casino and was forced to offer Peter up at one point as collateral because that is the only explanation that I can come up with why Peter is now a janitor.

  61. Chaze
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    GT – So Lini Verde is the Homecoming Queen? That seems like a better storyline than this stupid Irish Stew we’ve been served.

  62. Chaze
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Christalmighty, Evan, Margot did a stupid thing. Breaking her neck seems a bit severe, doncha think?

    ASM – I’m throwing a challenge to all mudges to get themselves into that ersatz yoga position MJ has assumed on the couch. Comfy? Didn’t think so.

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    it’s a few days late, but I have found the perfect pumpkin carving for Poteet.

  64. Inkwell
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    “Daddy, what’s a four letter word for pest?”



  65. hogenmogen
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: News crews? Oh great, now when I hand Herb my bill, I’m going to look like a total dick. Eh, wouldn’t be the first time.

  66. Dale
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]


    I don’t remember how long halftime is, but I know from experience that it isn’t long enough for this display and the officials will not be amused.

    Why isn’t Terry in the locker room doing locker-room things?

  67. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

  68. Señor Tortilla
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Please don’t give thought balloons to the cat. It is my favorite character.

    RMMD: Rex is horrified! A non-white person talking to him as an equal!

  69. sally
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#11):

    Mr. Lodge isn’t a Ruskie sleeper, he’s a Death Eater. Look, he just used a deluminator to suck all the light out of the room at the mention of Rchy’s name.

  70. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    DT: I assumed that Measles would be killed in this vendetta home invasion, but maybe he’ll survive to seek revenge again, this time under the name “Hideous Neck Burns.”

    MW: Is that really what you want, Dawn? Or is that just what the microchip implanted in your index finger is telling you?

    FW: You never know how good your marching band is until the entire brass section is playing through pneumonia.

    C-Shaft: Ladies and gentlemen, the other shoe.

    9CL: Screw the election. You need to look out for the Little Orphan Annie refugees like that newsman who are now infiltrating your strip.

    Agnes: Nice meta, Trout.

    JP: “Hey, people. I was gonna do some Eli Roth-level violence to you with this here chainsaw but—sigh—there’s been a change of plans. Might as well show me the SUV.”

    RMMD: Rex is shocked to find a public relations manager doing actual public relations. From reading Apartment 3-G he assumed they spent their time sexually harassing all-too-eager male employees.

    BB: “And our bouncer had to talk you out of your service revolver. All six chambers, huh?”

    HtH: Unlike Conan, Hagar only hears the lamentations of his own woman.

    Phantom: Kit may be a little dim sometimes, but he’s not Peter Parker. Luring him into a deathtrap just for the lulz is kind of stupid.

    SFx: I see that tongue burning is the latest fad among children and household pets.

    H&J: So Jamaal was perfectly fine with getting his cracks and crevices explored, until he found out where the doc had picked up his training?

    A3G: “Ahem, but in making this romantic leap to the other side of you, I seem to have broken a couple of vertebrae on the edge of your desk. For the love of God, call an ambulance.”

  71. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#51):

    And where did he learn to kiss like that? His Aunt Cathy, of course!


  72. John C Fremont
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#50): If you were in band, yeah, it was mandatory. And unfair. Choir kids didn’t have to show up at football and basketball games, even though it’s a heck of a lot easier to march in formation while singing than it is while playing a baritone horn or a bassoon.

  73. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#67): *SNURK!*

    I luff eet!

  74. Perky Bird
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, little arrow box, for telling us Sparkle is dumping hot ash on Measles, causing his flesh to scorch. Otherwise, I would have assumed Sparkle was tossing soiled kitty litter down his shirt collar, and Measles was screaming because he was being infected with Toxoplasma gondii and would soon have to change his name to “Crazy Cat Dude.”

  75. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#73):
    Oh yeeeeeaaaasssssss!
    *I poop on you!*
    : D

  76. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#11): The Soviet Union collapsed before they could tell Hiram that the mission was off. He’s the equivalent of those Imperial Japanese soldiers hanging around the Aleutian islands, except that he’s got nicer furniture.

  77. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#49):
    Ahhhh, Touché!

  78. Chaze
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#64):
    Ummm…not for nuthin’, but was really IS a four letter word for “pest?”



  79. Chaze
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#78): please excuse garbled syntax. Half asleep.

  80. Dale
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]


    Bill Ellis is supposed to return in one week with the ransom money. Call that day 7. Day 0 is the day of capture. Is this still day 0 or has time advanced to the morning of day 1?

    They didn’t set up a means of communication, so Bill has to come back on day 7 even if it’s just to negotiate or say goodbye to Mark.

    Are there US laws against paying ransom, or would they apply only with a foreign government?

  81. Poteet
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#15): Sympathies — after marching band, hell was over for another year and I was free to ignore sports again. Pep band would have been more hell.

  82. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    If this Archie strip had been one of the recent ones instead of a 1980s reprint, we might assume that the 4-letter word for “pest” was in fact a shout-out to “Josh”.

  83. Poteet
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#40): Thanks — yes, a kindly Mudge in the last thread reminded me that Lillian screwed up her sister’s romance. So now she’s apparently about to get screwed over herself and Batiuk will of course remain silent about the financial extent of the screwing. I have no idea how expensive fake orphans are these days.

  84. Poteet
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

  85. Poteet
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @glires (#20): Yeah, I thought it looked like Measles got the ax AND the ashes. Glad I don’t follow DT these days — after the pace of the strips I do follow, this kind of action would be just too much.

  86. Joshua
    November 3rd, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Mr. Beasley is in danger of getting fired. It’s a violation of the Hatch Act for a full-time U.S. Postal Service employee to run for partisan political office while an active employee. It’s also illegal for such an employee to engage in political activity while on duty.

    On the other hand, the fact that Mr. Beasley and Dagwood are residents of the same state shouldn’t be a problem. It would only be an issue if Dagwood were somehow to win his state’s electoral votes, in which case the electors from that state would not be allowed to vote for both Dagwood and Beasley.

  87. Joshua
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Rex supposed to be in San Diego to investigate why a group of tenants, who happen to be strippers, aren’t paying their rent to one of his acquaintances? He needs to go back and spend more time with the tenants, even if they happen to be strippers. He isn’t there to hang out with old people and hospital administrators. He’s there to investigate the tenants, and if they happen to be strippers, well, that’s who he ought to be spending his time with.

  88. Dartpaw86
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    So the joke is that Mr. Lodge thinks Archie is Sh**

  89. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Oops! I just backed into Ripley’s

    LAWRENCE EDMONDS of York, England, to fulfill a bet with a friend, is traveling the country licking a wall of every Anglican cathedral in the United Kingdom!

    It was either that or kiss Margo.

  90. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#87):

    If this is indeed what is happening in that comic then Wow! What have I been missing out on?

    I’ve been wasting my time trying to figure out why Evan (of Margo’s Office 3G Fame)can’t be drawn the same way from panel to panel and from day to day.

  91. Dale
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#83):

    Do you need some fake orphans?
    Wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to make some real ones?

  92. Shrug, Punker of Pumkins
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y59):

    “11/2 A & J — I can identify with this strip. I get a pumpkin every year in October and never carve it. I just set it out on the ground under a tree outside my bedroom window and watch what happens to it over the winter. Some years it gets partly eaten, some years it slowly collapses, some years it quickly falls apart. That’s entertainment.”

    Well, for Iowa, anyway….

    (Waitress, audience, veal)

  93. Alison
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    “Zits”: Oh look, it’s theme week at “Zits”…again. Didn’t they just do a theme comparing teenagers to other beings? And now a theme about how adults are lame because they don’t say things like “Hey man, have you ever thrown up more then ten times in one day?” or whatever. This strip is getting as bad as “Marvin” and it’s endless themes about CrySpace, Belly Laffs, Stick figure people etc. All “Zits” needs is some poop jokes.

    “Mary Worth”: I get the feeling Jim was a psycho way before his nautical accident. The missing arm and dead sister are just excuses for his behavior. I am reminded of how you often hear reports of celebrities acting entitled and snotty, and everyone says it’s because fame went to their heads; it always makes me wonder if they had the exact same entitled, snotty personality before they got famous, except the general public wouldn’t have known or cared. This is the vibe Jim gives off. Would have been an angry loon no matter what. But yes, Dawn, just keep on dreaming that a bit of therapy will cure him and he will be your Prince Charming.

  94. Shrug, Rapper to Raphinae
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @anon (#4):

    “so what is a four letter word for pest? I vote for ‘ants’.
    bugs. lice. nits. gnat. rats.”

    Dodo. Them “ugly chickens” have been over-running my garden all summer.

    Fortunately, some hungry Dutch seamen are coming over tomorrow.

  95. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Archie is the one who gave Mr. Lodge the STD he is currently suffering through.

  96. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Ow! Ripley’s bit me…

    TIAN HAO a hair stylist from Xian Shannxi, China, cuts his customers’ hair with HIS EYES CLOSED!

    His main customers are Dagwood and Gunk.

  97. This Guy
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    H&L: If there’s a joke in here, I can’t find it amid the crushing despair.

  98. Peanut Gallery
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#96): He cuts his customers’ hair with his eyes?? He must be one sharp-eyed guy.

  99. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#98): Heat vision. Like Superman.

  100. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#96): He’s the stylist who dyes Dawn’s hair, right?

  101. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    DT: Notice that Measles is wearing a high collared winter coat in panel one. While the ashes will certainly distract him, he shouldn’t suffer any burns right away.

  102. Nightmarcher89
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    DICK TRACY: “AHHH!! My ripped body and handsomely chiseled face, ruined forever!”

  103. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): except for areas around the axe-sized hole in the coat.

  104. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Sherman’s Lagoon: Their next adventure will involve a toilet and flushing.

  105. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#100): Heh! Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

  106. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#76): If we’re lucky, Mr. Lodge will hear someone say “The woods are lovely, dark and deep . . .” then carry out his mission, which is to destroy the Republic aircraft factory. Of course in the intervening years the plant was demolished and Riverdale High was built on the site, so he’ll end up wiping out thge students and staff. Either that or Charles Bronson will creak in and shoot him. In that case we’ll never learn why he hates Archy at random times, but that’s a mystery I’m willing to accept.

  107. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 3rd, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#93):

    This is the vibe Jim gives off. Would have been an angry loon no matter what. But yes, Dawn, just keep on dreaming that a bit of therapy will cure him and he will be your Prince Charming.

    Perhaps Dawn will begin to understand the goal of therapy for Jim is to be a nicer, self-actualized angry loon.

  108. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy

    (I don’t know how I goofed up by posting the following on a thread from yesterday but I done done it)

    Friday’s Dick

    In this one from Friday, Dick Tracer seems to shot at the Measly Weasel.

    The only thing which would make me think that Tracer misses is because there is a mysterious, golden L hovering above the scene in panel two.

    It seems like this Measler Guy was shot at, has an axe wielding woman with profound vision coming for him AND his gets a shovel full of hot ash in the face! Dude shouldn’t make it out of that room with the convenient furnace without a few scars.

    Though, given the three vectors of attack on the miscreant, perhaps a fourth is possible if….ooooh. Say, something along the lines of…

    Marmaduke drops through the skylight, howling all the way as he descends to claim Measles soul for the Debbil, who’s kid hasn’t had measles yet and wants to get it over with now versus later in eternity when it might be painful for the kid.

    Though, if you ask me, that last attack vector sounds like BS.

    However….it brings up how the hot ash got to the guy before the bullet hit anything, even the wall behind Measler.

  109. Poteet
    November 3rd, 2012 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#14): I can’t tell anybody apart in GIL THORP, even when I am able to force my writhing retinas to focus on their hideous faces. And don’t get me started on that so-called hand in Panel Two. I think this strip is actually drawn by an alien relative of Cthulhu.

  110. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#109): Psst. Poteet. I pretend that Gil Thorp doesn’t exist and if I perceive it on the page I allow my eyes to glaze over until I scroll past it. Works for me. Try it. You may like it.


  111. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#109):

    That might explain my problem, too.

    I look at it and it looks like nothing is going on and I just can’t bring myself to even bother trying to read the words.

    If I squint, I can see a competent illustrator but maybe it is the fact that the characters I’ve seen don’t look interesting nor do they look distinctive from each other.

    There are other strips that make my eyes gloss over like that, too. But, I can’t think of their names either.

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    You really think Gil Thorp was meant to be read? I thought it was for you to color.

  113. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#108): In its weird way, everything in this Dick Tracy story makes sense. There’s actual continuity here. BO Plenty and Gravel Gertie live in a house where the kitchen is the center of action; it goes back at least to the Flaky Biscuits story. The stove burns wood, thanks to the way the strip mixes technology from all of its eras. Look at Monday’s strip and you’l see Chekhov’s Axe on the wall behind Gertie. And when Dick shots Measles, you can see debris fly from where the bullet hits Measles in the right forearm (which would explain why the next day, Measles is using his left hand to steady his right arm as he aims ay Dick).

    It could only be better if Les Moore or TJ dropped in. Given their hideous faces, Dick would immediately shoot them for being arch-criminals.

  114. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#109): I just looked at the Gil Thorp presence. My first thought about the second panel was that the kid was in the restroom, admiring his reflection in the mirror. I’d have a second thought if I thought Gil Thorp was worth it.

  115. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    I forced myself to look at Gil Thorpe. I think the kid in the third panel is singing “Stop in the Name of Love.”

  116. Dale
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]


    Terry and Chip Viscous look the same except Chip has an inverted V in his bangs.

  117. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#113):

    Well I’ll be double-dutched!
    And when Dick shots Measles, you can see debris fly from where the bullet hits Measles in the right forearm

    You are quite right. Trace-man clipped his sleeve. So, I guess he didn’t shoot to kill.
    Though, in panel two of Saturday’s it does seem like he got beaned between the shoulder blades with an axe. I think the hot ashes might distract him from the shock and pain caused by the first two points of contact.

    //holding my breath until Marmaduke drops down.

  118. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#112):

    I mentioned the non-colorized strips earlier in the week. Does anyone know why that still happens? I can see some papers opting to not pop for color but this is the World Wide Web. Color is expected.

  119. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#112): I tried that. It was hell getting the crayon marks off my computer screen.

  120. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#118): Comics Kingdom has it in color. If you have the patience for the loading time.

  121. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    Since I am on the horse, I guess I’ll read the comics today.

    But, first:

    Today is Sandwich Day. Does that mean it is Global Sandwich Day or just National Sandwich Day? I’m not sure. All I know is I have a sandwich in the queue, at the ready.

    Mary Worth uh oh! I don’t like the look of that finger. It’s giving off a meddling vibe.

    hmmm… no sign of Wilbur, eh? Oh. That’s right. It is Sandwich Day. That must be like a hot date for Wilburino.

    The Family Circus, now with Jazzy finger snaps.*

    Drowsy Lickle Melonheads
    Not so tired they are in their beds
    Daddy has a landline, a landline
    Daddy has a mistress?
    Why, oh why? Why you doin’ it, Daddy!

    Must you make the kids sleepy?
    While mommy is all weepy?
    While you schedule time to be cheaty?
    Just end the story now, deadbeaty!

    snap snap!

    The End, daddio!

    *mm. mm!
    Jazzy Finger Snaps.
    The only cookie for those who prefer their nookie on the side!

    It’s the one and only snap snap snack!

  122. Sgt. Stoned
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’ll bet you do like “keeping an eye” on Ava, old man (heh-heh).

    Blondie: Dagwood apparently doesn’t realize that the presidency is a national office and that Herb’s delivering flyers on his mail route will not garner even enough votes to win the city he is living in, let alone the state or the nation

    BB: General Halftrack throwing down shots first thing in the morning. Living the dream.

  123. billman
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    So, the 2006 “Over the Hedge” movie is on Cartoon Network again. Interesting casting choices, All-Star people, not so sure they work, tho. Bruce Willis as R.J. might’ve been better in his smart-ass guy from Moonlighting but here’s he’s more like the laconic guy from Die Hard. Garry Shandling as Verne is OK but i think maybe Jason Alexander is closer to the up-tighness of Verne but i think they maybe wanted a slower more turtle-like thing? And I’m not buying Steve Carell as Hammy at all, you need someone much more hyper, maybe Jim Carrey but i’m thinking more like Rob Paulsen in one of higher pitched faster delivery naive voices like Peck from Back at the Barnyard (the nick cartoon, never saw the movie so don’t know if that character was in there and was played by Paulsen or not).

  124. Alex Blaze
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    “Daddy, what’s a four-letter word for pest?”

    “Uh, pest? I knew I should have sent you to a private school.”

  125. Peanut Gallery
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#119): You’re supposed to put the “magic” sheet of plastic over the screen first.

    @Sequitur (#120): I notice that the colorizers couldn’t figure out what the third panel background was supposed to be, either.

    “Hey, kids! Use your magic crayon to fix that rip in the space-time continuum! Blue might be nice. Try blue.”

  126. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Took a while for my eyes to adjust to the screen. Upon reading the latest Spider-Man What Th’?
    He stuck in Las Vegas and needed to get a job?

    Where’s your web-slinger now? Nya Nnnnyaaa!

    One of the things about Snuffy Smif that is funny is that even whenI don’t get the joke, the characters in panel two do.

    While whatever is going on in Slylock’s Mirror Univers looks delightful. It also looks dangerous. That automatic flavorless gumball machine is gonna cause some problems. And, I doubt that the duck knows the how to act in case of the dog choking.

  127. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Spellcheck-Free Saturday continues…
    Dagwood is running for office?
    Oh. That’s right. It is Sandwich Day. They’ll forget about this by tomorrow.

    If there was a crossover with Hi & Lois, if elected, Dagwood could appoint Thirsty to be the Cabinet Secretary of the Liquor Cabinet.

    Big Ideas!

  128. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#121): Nookie Cookies? Baked by Wookiees?

  129. Sequitur
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#127): And since Hi always hangs on it when he talks to Thirsty in his backyard, Hi would be the Secretary of De Fence.

  130. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129):

    I rarely type this out:
    de casa de la apartmento comlexio de l’amour 3 G

    So it has been two weeks since The Kiss–ha yes! I remember it not well!

    There’s been nothing going on between Margo and Evan? What has Evan been doing, practicing on Aunt Cathy?

    And, pardon me if anyone has already mentioned this: Margo’s knees gave out, or, did Evan jump on a chair?

  131. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey

    To be quite honest, I’m surprised the bartender decided to serve the General.
    He’s in his PJs and has steam coming out his ears.
    Now, I can’t speak from personal experience (I am never in front of a mirror when steam comes out of my ears) but it seems unlikely Halftrack would be welcome there. And, what is up with those Jammies? Star envy?

    And, what is up with the General getting madder at being called out for the diagnosis?

    What’s next in missing panel three?

    Will Beetle and Miss Buxley* show up, jump on his back, make a train whistle sound and guide a drunken Halftrack out the swining doors in a Looooooooove Traaaaaain!

    *as a couple, I never saw that one happening. It seemed more likely the Sarge and his dog would get married, you know?

    //so many questions. so what, right?

  132. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#6): Your Saturday Squee is up to its usual high standards, sir! (And I find that corgi .gif disturbingly hypnotic.)

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#67): Want.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#132): “round and round. . . .”

  134. Calico
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#83):
    OK, so that’s it. TY for the refresher-this makes me realize now how truly spiteful most of this group of people are in CS.

  135. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Now see. I thought Mark Trail had been kidnapped.

    Yeah. I gave up expecting Robert Louis Stevenson-like story from Elrod.

    But, after ignoring the comics for several days, it seems like Mark, his kidnapper and a mother and daughter are taking casual strolls on the beach. It looks like Paradise. Paradisio Pelicano!

    If you squint, it looks like one of them thar Magical Eyes.
    I see a Slylock Fox ad.

    //i barely speak one language; typing others: pfft!

  136. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Going out on a limb here….

    okay. I’m back at the computer.

    Dennis the Menace was a non-jokey Public Service Announcement.

    Sly, Dennis. Sly! What next? Remind people to donate to the Red Cross via their website or by texting or calling so that readers of your strip can help people here and abroad who may need help following the hurricane?

    Will you show up while Wilson’s on the toilet, spinning like a child possessed with tops?

    Dennis, you are so Sly, it looks like the Family Stone has found a new frontman.

  137. Droopy Says
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#117): I would have hit Measles with the shovel, but creative killing is expected in Dick Tracy. Maybe the next step is to pop him in the oven with Hansel and Gretel, and burn away the embarrassing evidence that Dick Tracy didn’t kill him with the first shot.

    The only “problem” with Staton and Curtis is that they respect the reader’s intelligence. They’ll plant clues, and use them, and take it for granted that we’ll spot them. But everyone has been corrupted by trash like Funky Winkerbean, where events vanish (remeber Cayla’s pregnancy?), and Spiderbland, where clues come and go at whim (nobody noticed the tiger, or the lady, or the tractor-trailer rig, because they were out of panel), or Jugs Parker, where it takes a week for almost nothing to happen.

  138. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#137):
    Oh I believe you.

    Staton used to (still does?) comic books so he is used to a lot of space and figuring out how to tell a story with that space.

    I usually only try to read DT on Sundays….online….when it is micro small. I don’t bother with it and forget about it (like Doonesbury, Funky Winker, etc) so I just don’t see it unless it is mentioned here.

    It is a drag that I don’t force myself to follow it, because always looks like it is the most dynamic, action-packed strip in the pages. Something always seems to be happening.

  139. seismic-2
    November 3rd, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    DT: Today we see Measles with an arrow box labeled “hot ashes”. On Monday we will see a pile of hot ashes, with an arrow box labeled “Measles”.

  140. Hyhybt
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: they *had* to label the ash like that, in case the colorist decided the stuff should be blue or something and confuse everybody.

  141. Baka Gaijin
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#89): Ha ha HA!

    @tallyHO (#121): Must be an American thing, just like changing the clocks tonight instead of a week ago.

    @tallyHO (#138): Yes. Something is always happening. In a sensible way. And smoking. People smoke cigarettes.

  142. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#141):

    I tend to hate remakes of movies, even translation of other stories like books, comics, plays into movies. But, even though there was an earlier “Dick Tracy” movie….there could be one done right. It could be pretty cool. Film Noir instead of wacky, four color emulation and pop stars.

    Though, I am not sure how the moon people and hillbillies fit into that picture. Maybe John Waters can team up with Quentin Tarantino–post Christian conversion– and make a great flick!

    But, I’m sure if we wait for a moment, there will be one considered.

  143. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-Uh oh! It looks like the steam powered General Halftrack is on the fritz again.

  144. Liam
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    DT-I’m amazed by the many ways Measles could be stopped in here. The old woman could chop him with the ax. The blonde could just hit him on the back of the head with the shovel braining him but nope she decides to burn him with hot ash.

  145. exapno
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Nothing like waking up in the morning, reading the funnies, and seeing the term, “toe licking” in your favorite family strip. Thank you Evans.

    This will be the kicker: Corporate has already been doing an investigation, and BOTH TJ and Eiffel get canned, and weenie word gets turned into a Burger Bistro or something

  146. exapno
    November 3rd, 2012 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#145):

    ooops – foot KISSER – need to be more awake when reading this crap. Although ‘foot kisser’ is pretty raunchy for the comcs…

  147. commodorejohn
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    ATTENTION PEOPLE: I just saw Wreck-It Ralph. It is a very good movie. If it is playing anywhere near you, go see it. Seriously.

  148. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#141): We go off Daylight Saving Time a week after the rest of the world because this way, there’s an extra hour of daylight on Halloween. That extra hour means the younger kids can go out and collect candy. It’s good for the candy-making businesses.

  149. seismic-2
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#148): Also, most of the USA if significantly south of most of Europe, so the daylight is longer here than there, and getting the clocks back in sync with solar time can thus easily be postponed until later in the year here than it can be over there.

  150. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: I don’t see why Parker is upset that Kraven is between a wild tiger and a wild lion. You’re not supposed to get overly concerned with the villain’s well-being. I’d be more concerned that Kraven recognizes Parker from their earlier adventures, or has heard from the stage manager that “Jameson, that loud-mouthed butt-ugly newspaper editor, sent that guy who’s pretending to be a janitor.”

    Flunky Wankerbeat: “But the real mystery is, where does Tom Batiuk hide his talent when he does this strip?”

    Jugs Parker: When did Bea become brain-damaged enough to care about Avery, who’s shown about as much interest in a fish as in her? Maybe more interest, since he got a picture of the fish but not her.

    Family Circus: Billy is in the second grade? I hope Thel voted for someone who supports higher educational standards.

  151. Victory Garden
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    @exapno (#145): I know, right? GROSS. It’s like, I do not come to Weenie World for the shrimping.

  152. tallyHO
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#127):

    Woot Woot! I was wrong.

    Dagwood is still running for…well, somehow he is trying to run for President…of something.

    Maybe it is the school board or something.

    A3G, the Recap Edition
    For the first time ever, this gratuitous recapitulation is useful. I got to avoid a week’s worth and here it is condensed with revisions (I’m guessing).
    Now that’s the Real Deal with Margo McGee….huh. It is Magee? I thought it was Magoo. Or, Magoolicutty.

    Anyway, I didn’t miss anything by not reading the dailies, did I? Just dijointed storytelling.

    Snuffy mm. Coffee and Popcorn. (Aw c’mon! How can both NOT be spiked with something?!?)

    hi & lois Wowzers! There’s so much color and so little black ink. I’m perplexified.

    Slylock’s Auction House Funnies Is the answer that the shadows fall on the wrong side of the statues or is it more esoteric like: Everyone knows that the Easter Island statues are facing South or reading magazines or something?

    Also, I want one of those cat toys! Maybe that RatFink in his hotrod!

    Mary Worth Shorter Mary: Meddle Forward, Not Back; Use Both Hands, Not One! And, listen to Meddalica while eating pie, dearie!

  153. tallyHO
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    The Last of the Funkybeans
    I couldn’t bring myself to focus on what is in the word balloons. Too much.
    Tone it down, bro! It is a comic strip, not an illustrated pamphlet!

    beetle bailey Har! He’s stoned!

    Dennis Menacian Oh, that Dennis puts the D in Delightful! /sarcasm

    six chix sunday ….shift key strength…waning…must cccccCarrry forth… anyway. there’s a sunday six chix comic////? —whew—didna think id make it thru…

    Seriously though: the Saturday was a rare multi-panel comic while the Sunday one is one big One Panel? Both are humorous. I won’t know the True To Life observations of the Ladies Six!

    gil tharpedo In color it looks like a sci-fi horror story from an old EC comic. I don’t mean that in a good way either!

  154. tallyHO
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    Moose and Molly WTF? Her son is the Unknown Comic?

  155. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    Mar’mah’duq: Don’t call them steaks, Eva! If the Helhound discovers you have fed him mere animal flesh, his vengeance will appall your surviving relatives.

  156. tallyHO
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#153):
    I won’t know the True To Life observations of the Ladies Six!

    For what it worth, I don’t know what that means either. I could guess what I meant. It was supposed to be a compliment about the type of humor.

    But, I had to regain my shift key strength….Pinkies can only do so much in a day.
    Now, Pinkoscommiespies. I heard they could multitasked, like, by definition.

  157. Rats in a Can
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    I kissed Margo first. Right in the kisser.
    Kisser? I don’t even know her!

  158. JennyGee
    November 4th, 2012 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    Has there ever been a black character in drawn in 9cl? Ever?

  159. JennyGee
    November 4th, 2012 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Also, extra-creepy Luann today.

  160. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    November 4th, 2012 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker, sixth panel: From the size of Hermione compared with Hagrid, I’d say this is a scene fom Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

    Rex: I wouldn’t mind seven Sunday panels of talking heads discussing Rex’s greatness if we weren’t missing a building full of hot strippers, practicing their craft in various stages of undress.

  161. hu shuo ba dao
    November 4th, 2012 at 4:05 am [Reply]

    oh my god
    hu shuo ba dao

    [Stupid spam neutered and blacklisted - UL]

  162. Baka Gaijin
    November 4th, 2012 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    * * * WARNING * * *


    * * * WARNING * * *

  163. Satan
    November 4th, 2012 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    @hu shuo ba dao (#161): Yes, my child?

  164. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#162): I don’t see anything especially unnerving in today’s Mary Worthless. Granted, there’s something disturbing about the way Mary averts her eyes when she handles that bowl, like she might have been incubating Cthulhu’s eggs in her microwave, and there’s the general creepiness of Dawn’s belief that she resembles anything even vaguely human, and the scenery in the first panel suggests that the space-time continuum if flexing under the tedium, and despite Mary’s encouraging words in the last panel there’s no hope that Dawn will actually shoot Jim, much less herself, but when you take away all that, plus the general clownishness of the whole thing, and the dreamily psychotic look in Dawn’s eyes, you’re not left with anything more horrific than usual.

  165. Baka Gaijin
    November 4th, 2012 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#164): You don’t see it? You really don’t see it? Center panel, middle row. AAAAHH!!!!

  166. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#165): Well, there’s the walrus-mustache that Yawn is wearing as a toupee, and of course there’s the ominous presence of Mary Mirthless who evidently teleported to a menacing position behind Dawn in mid-babble, and there’s that blue-colored negative space that looks like a smiling, blunderbuss-nosed clown lying on its back–oh. Jeeze. Trust Giella and Moy to find a way to turn a blank space into reflection of the desolate madness of Mary’s soul.

  167. Baka Gaijin
    November 4th, 2012 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#166): I was thinking of the jaundiced Dawn/Mary thing. Your interpretation is much worse. SUBLIMINAL EVILSCARYCLOWN!!!! AAAAAHH! [QLUNQ!]

  168. Liam
    November 4th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Wow! This is going viral.

  169. John C Fremont
    November 4th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    @hu shuo ba dao (#161): “Hu shuo ba by, don’t say a word, Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.”

  170. CanuckDownSouth
    November 4th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Labelling it “friendship” doesn’t make enabling physically aggressive “protectiveness” right, Dawn!

  171. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]


    B&C: wait, WHAT?!? an entire panel of ass?!?! you can DO that? second thought, it does even out a few years worth of A3G’s ‘above the waist’ shots.

    Candorville: Jimmy Crow at the door.

    SG: she should interview Moaning Myrtle.

    Frazz: Mallett should still leave the puns to Pastis, but that was pretty decent.

    9CL: Edda humps a Bosendorfer.

    A&J: *golf clap* I love this strip.

    Dilbert: another strip that pushes the limits. ewwwwwwwwww.

    NAoQV: it scares me how close to the truth it is.

    SBp: dogs sniffing butts jokes, right up there with golf gags.

    JP: Bea got back.

    Bizarro: finally, a reality show that I’d watch!

    Crank: sweet Death, where is thy sting?

    DT: oh, there he is. dropping by in Sinfest as well.

    MT: *biology geek applaz*

    MG&G: the two coins are on your eyes, doofus.

    Mutts: d’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Ghost-who-scubas: guest-starring Sig Curtis.

    PV: I am reminded of a certain QC episode, one involving a demand to recreate a scene.

    RwO: CIDU.

    Retail: *snurk* well played.

  172. Hibbleton
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Mary Say: “She who make friends with deranged psychopath find life very short.”

  173. Chyron HR
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @JennyGee (#158): I thought there was, but it turns out Brooke just went overboard with the Zip-A-Tone that day.

  174. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#167): Jaundice? Yeah, I see why you’re upset. It’s disturbing to think that Mary and Yawn have a disease that won’t kill them. It’s even more disturbing to think that Mary will have an excuse to go to the hospital and meddle directly in Yawn and Dim’s relationship.

  175. Cloudbuster
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW: Ah, here we have one of the clearest statements ever of the do-gooder’s creedo: “Life is short, we must do good while we can.” Of course, that’s countered by my own creedo, “Mind your own damn business or I’ll make sure your life is short.”

    My middle child, especially when he was young, was very impulsive and always had strong ideas about the “right” way to do things. This resulted in him frequently imposing himself on his sister and others — taking over her controls at video games, for example, “She’s not doing it right! I’m helping her.” (while she was fuming in anger and frustration). It took years to begin to impress upon him that “help” isn’t help if the people you are “helping” don’t want it. Sadly, some people go their whole lives “helping” people do things the “right” way — whether they like it or not.

  176. Cloudbuster
    November 4th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#150): When did Bea become brain-damaged enough to care about Avery, who’s shown about as much interest in a fish as in her? Maybe more interest, since he got a picture of the fish but not her.

    Probably about the time she stopped to consider, “Wait a second. He’s a fabulously wealthy Hollywood producer, and I’m a chubby, overall-clad, country girl with a broken down fishing lodge, surviving on hush money from the local drug lord. Avery! Wait! Come back!”

  177. gleeb
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Probably something about the bird being the wrong species, but who needs that? Kopy Kat is right there, behind the curtain!

    ‘shaft: Death stalks you, and could strike at any time, and it’s funny!

    ‘bean: Why yes, Mr Batiuk, your beloved superhero comix do have the inconsistencies that occur when they are written if not by committee then by an ever-changing roster of Mopey Petes, and put out anyway because the publishers know that idiot teens like these two (four if you include Crazy and granny-cheatin’ John) will buy them anyway. But why would you point any of that out?

    Phantom: Anything? Even wrasses and blennies?

    Rex: Look, what she’s saying is “get the heck out of my waiting room.”

    F-: Y’know, bug-free hair is more an assumption than a selling point.

    Momma: …is so old and confused that she thinks we elect two consuls.

  178. tb4000
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: Panel six….really, Brooke?

  179. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Good thinking, Jeff. Remember, grisly death is only a panel away, and it should be the foremost thing in your thoughts at all times. Also, cancer.

    9 – One of the variations in this piece is called the “Creme de Menthe” variation, because Rachmaninoff determined that a small glass of the liqueur put him in the exact right mood to play it, so he would have it by the keyboard and ready to go. I don’t remember which one. Not the famous 18th, though. (Nor is there any record that he got in the mood for that one by climbing on the piano and mounting an imaginary sex partner.)

  180. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Next, our foxy detective hero will work his way through the post-impressionists, pointing out inconsistencies in the light in “Dejeuner sur l’herbe” and “The Bay from l’Estaque,” and non-realistic modeling in “Les Demoiselles d’Avignon” and ambiguous areas of color in “Still Life with Apples.” It’s all part of a big exhibition of “degenerate art” he’s getting together with his pals in the Reichstag.

  181. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    (Kopy Cat is just doing what he loves; messing with Slylock. He knows that if he just shows his face at a museum where the detective is, that Slylock will immediately assume forgery and find some trumped-up reason to throw out a real work of art. The day in prison is soooo worth it!)

  182. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    lol-d’awwwwwwg. (GSHP)

    Yooper cat.


    Love Is . . . hedgie.

    The Daily Puppy is a scruffy terrier.


    handsome corgi is handsome.

  183. TheDiva
    November 4th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#147): Good to hear. Divaling One is just getting old enough to sit through a movie in theaters, and that one seems like an option that will please both of us.

    9CL: Please tell me Edda isn’t doing to the piano what I think she’s doing to it. (What am I saying, of course she is, Brooke’s protestations of innocence notwithstanding.)

    C’shaft: Only in the Funkyverse would a person use the transience of life as an excuse to spend less time with loved ones.

    FW: The “what’s up with airline food?” of geekery.

    Luann: This is how Evans sees a healthy marriage. This explains a lot.

    MW: “Life is short, Dawn, so land a man while you can! And remember these little words: ‘I ran into a doorknob’.”

    SM: They replaced Phantom with this?

  184. Droopy Says
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#176): Ah, that explains Bea’s haste to reach Avery. Catch him and marry him just before Bubba kills him. That way the Widow Blackstone gets all the benefits of marrying Avery with none of the disadvantages. We’ll even get to see Avery’s funeral, with a presumably closed coffin. I love a happy ending.

  185. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Arlo & J.: I LOLed. Simple, but well done.

    SlylockF: Again, Easter Island statues! They’re going viral!

    // Webcomic Notes: Anybody know what happened to Abstruse Goose? He’s been AWOL quite awhile. Also, QC’s guest comic by amazingsuperpowers is creepy but very good.

  186. Calico
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    JP – “Adam, I’m going to give you a good firm spenking if you don’t let me go down to that mine! I know your Mother!”
    “Uh, yes’m.”

    I hope he participates in the next Highland Games. He doesn’t seem to have much of a potty mouth, though.

  187. Calico
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    First cup of coffee still processing in veins

  188. boconn
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Dammit! ???????????????? This was the Chinese, and then the English translation!!11!! W.T.F.!!11!! On Monday, rise up and kill the red haired foreign devils! Ah well…when you have to explain the joke, maybe it wasn’t a very good joke.

    Veronica is reading the crossword clues but writing the answers in the Soduko box. Just more fun that way.

  189. TheSilentG
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Not to point out the obvious, but “pest” is a four-letter word for “pest.” Come on, Riverdale Crossword Puzzle guy, give us a challenge! Break out those 10-dollar words!

  190. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    RwO: Okay, maybe I’m especially dopey today, but I’m perplexed. Can someone explain?

  191. seismic-2
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The news crews are waiting outside. Now go up to the roof and fall off! People will be giving you boats before you hit the ground! Oh, and put this picture frame around your face while your minions spray-paint graffiti on the walls. We need this to go viral!

  192. seismic-2
    November 4th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#190): I think the idea (such as it was) is that the statue of Atlas sort of looks like a snail, at least to a snail. Maybe the statue should have been shown in profile in such a way that emphasizes that similarity. Or maybe it should have been drawn in an especially exaggerated fashion that is somehow more nearly snail-like. Or maybe the cartoonist should have just tossed the whole thing in the trash can and come up with something else.

    Speaking of ideas that should have been tossed, now that Zits has sunk to recycling gags from Crankshaft, it’s time for the strip to be retired. Seriously.

  193. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Archie: So that works out to about $2.38 a meal. Not bad, really. What does Jennie Craig charge?

    // See log 50 = 1.6989, and log 21 = 1.3222, so 1.6989-1.3222=0.3676
    Antilog 0.2367=2.38

    // My slide rules are in the cleaners, so I had to break out the four place log table I keep in my fireproof safe in my basement. (Mayan apocalypse, just in case.)

    // Long division? Who has the time for that?

  194. Poteet
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    MW — So what does “help” mean in this context? Is Dawn going to continue to have lunch with Jim when they happen to hit the cafeteria at the same time? Is she going to call him on weekends to make sure he isn’t so depressed that he might slice his remaining wrist? Is she going to give him blowjobs under the pier to try to give him happier associations with water? Is she going to appear in his bedroom at night, after slipping him a mild mickey, dressed in a gossamer robe and pretending to be Merry and assuring him that all is forgiven and she really enjoys playing the harp? Maybe she’ll just give him a thousand bucks and suggest a therapeutic cruise in Italy.

  195. Calico
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#191):
    Will Margo be the PR expert?
    Oh, right, she’s too busy sucking face with Evan.

  196. Calico
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#192):
    I think I understand now.
    Jeremy Duncan is a teen version of Dennis the Menace. Dennis lost the menacing edge at age 10. and he’s become a pro slacker.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#193): // See log 50 = 1.6989, and log 21 = 1.3222, so 1.6989-1.3222=0.3676
    Antilog 0.2367=2.38

    I really need to get a new pencil. Doesn’t do arithmetic worth a darn.

  198. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    1.6989 (Log 50)
    1.3222 (Log 21)
    0.3767 (Log 50 – Log 21 = 50/21)
    2.380952381 (antilog 0.3767)


  199. seismic-2
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): Use a number 0.301 pencil. It’s especially good for logarithms.

  200. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198): If you can’t find a pencil, sometimes an Excel spreadsheet will work.

  201. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#192): Randian snails?

  202. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#194): Out of all your various entertaining possibilities, the one that most stuck in my head was a picture of Jim trying to slice his remaining wrist. I mean, will he hold the knife or blade or whatever in his teeth? Go all My Left Foot and become dextrous with his toes? Ask Dawn for one huge, last favor—and because Dawn has committed to “helping” him, make her head asplode?

  203. seismic-2
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

  204. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#199): Sometimes I like to use a number 2.718281828 pencil for logarithms. It just feels more natural.

  205. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    the following is food related, so purist snarkers may wish to skip it.

    Boneless chicken thighs are fun to play with, especially when wrapped in bacon. yum!

    also, the QG would like to point out that while they are both brown liquids in squarish bottles, Kikkomans should not be substituted for Log Cabin syrup on pancakes.

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 4th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): You’re just not trying hard enough – just tie the pancakes in with Mark Trail. Voila!, you are on-topic!

  207. Baka Gaijin
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): So that’s why my waffles at the Tokyo Hilton tasted funny.

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#206): Holy crappy pancakes!!!!

    I had considered that, actually. Dagwood tie-in is always a possibility with food comments as well.

  209. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#207): “pan-Asian fusion” ftl.

  210. Baka Gaijin
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#209): At least I didn’t confuse the natto for Cocoa Krispies. Again.

  211. This Guy
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#210): Talk about a rude awakening. Also: don’t frost St. Patrick’s Day cupcakes with wasabi.

    // Not based on a true story.

  212. Chaze
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205):

    Yeah, when boneless chicken wings and breasts became popular, I started raising boneless chickens. Gave it up, though, damn things couldn’t get out of their own way.

  213. Chaze
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    H&L – Great, now even Hi & Lois is going for more street credibility than Curtis. However, the chubby kid in the sailor cap saying “chill” and “bro” is a bit much. Love the Chuck Taylors, though!

  214. Chaze
    November 4th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    FW – Now Batiuk is ripping off riffs from The Big Bang Theory. Next up? Stan Lee’s love of alliterative names? Sorry, Raj has already nailed it.

    Popeye – “There goes a total waste of skin”. I like that so much I wrote it down and plan to use it as soon as possible.

  215. Chaze
    November 4th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Cranky – If you wanted a perfect distillation of the despair in the Batiuk universe, today’s strip is it. I don’t want to call my sister because it will make me die?? Really?? I’m actually alarmed by this. There is something wrong with him. Seriously. People who are not severely depressed do not think like this.

  216. Landbiscuit
    November 5th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m more concerned about the tear in the fabric of space and time that is happening to the right of the Junior royalty’s car. Terry and the other students haven’t noticed it yet, but junior class queen Cindy Canty has, and is holding out her arm in a desperate attempt to ward it off.

  217. gnbman
    November 14th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @The Mighty Captain E (#54): Glad a few people noticed the axe, which would have been bad enough without a set of further-scarring burn wounds.

Comments are closed for this post.