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Domestic strife

Mary Worth, 4/17/08

Rex Morgan may have his Mass MRSA Hysteria going for him, but Mary Worth has her own groovy new storyline percolating on the stove: the Baddle of the Ugly Middle-Aged Momma’s Boys! (“Baddle” was originally a typo for “battle,” but now I’m keeping it because it looks like “battle” plus “meddle.”) If most of next week is spent in the hospital parking lot, as two doughy dudes huff and puff while they swing ineffectively at each other and Mary shouts “Ronald! Richard! You stop that at once!”, I’ll be a happy guy.

Blondie, 4/17/08

There’s something odd about Dagwood’s lackadaisical pose that I can’t quite put my finger on. Surely the credenza is not a particularly comfortable place to lounge while being electronically snubbed. Perhaps as a world-class layabout he’s become bored with loafing on obvious pieces of furniture, like the couch or recliner, and is trying to step up his game by branching out.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/17/08

You know, sometimes it seems that Helga is profoundly unhappy in her marriage, but it’s days like today when she remembers why she agreed to leave her parents’ hut, get into Hagar’s longboat, and sail down the fjord to his village: because he’s so good at murdering people and stealing their valuable possessions.

205 responses to “Domestic strife”

  1. Yoqi
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    You know, today’s Mary Worth promises to fulfill a dream I’ve had or a long, long time: To see Mr. Rogers fight a doppelganger of himself.

  2. kippetje2000
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    And so goes another MT gesture by Mark. Costs nothing to give, costs a lot to keep. Still think Mark should’ve thought to give that girl some lessons in owning a dog before he high-tailed it out of there.

  3. Zaq
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    What I want to see is Mary ENCOURAGING Ron and Rich to fight as a method of solving their problems. It might be reverse psychology, like when Gil asked Cully to bump off Marty Moon, but I still want to see it.

  4. Ranger
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    So Elly has finally had it today. Good, leave them, just leave them all and run away with Connie and become lesbians. You aren’t getting any younger Elly and Connie looks more like your dad than a woman anyway.

  5. sally
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    I for one am always pleased when “Hagar” reminds us that his job is being a barbarian — raping, murdering, pillaging, and so forth. The best touch in this little vignette is that the candelabra still has candles in it. I can just picture the romantic castle dinner in progress when Hagar and his men barged in.

  6. Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-basher
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Should be called “Revenge of the Bun-heads”.

    More self-congratulatory comiserating with Elly and Connie…….

    Dammit SmElly……..”I’ll be there in a minute” REALLY DOES MEAN “I’ll be there in a minute”.


  7. yellojkt
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    A lover has sex for romance.
    A prostitute has sex for money.
    A viking wife has sex for bags of generic treasure.

  8. Dingo
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    She stood next to the doorway between the grieving exiting the hospital and the plethora of malcontents unable to break their fixation with smoking. A gentle breeze caused her purple pastel scarf to sway, tickling both her wattle and her nipples. In the parking lot before her, Ronald and Richard had removed their jackets and stood, poised, ready to unleash years of pent-up frustrations and braggadacio on each other.

    She cooed and sighed like a fluttering dove and both brothers thought she was rooting for them; it was phlegm.

    Ronald threw the first punch. It sailed through the stagnant air as a cow from a catapult, landing squarely in the middle of nothing.

    “Bwah-ha-ha!” shouted Richard. With that, Ronald used his other hand and punched his brother on the chin.

    “Zounds!” thought Mary. “He’s givin’ him a thumpin’ he probably hasn’t had since his old man!”

    Richard staggered to his feet like a young starlet making her way to a parked car. He swung but missed Ronald and instead landed his hand on the drivers-side mirror of a Honda Odyssey.

    “Curse you, van!” he screamed, holding his fleshy paw.

    (to be continued)

  9. zenvelo
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Gee, exciting to see Margo in Apt 3G has hired Jack Davis, former powerful political strategist/publicist in San Francisco whose career sank after his birthday party featured a live S/M sex act involving a Jack Daniels bottle:

    Margo will feel right at home with him….

  10. Hawkeye
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Is it wrong that I laughed harder at the last line of “Mary Worth” than at almost anything else on the comics page today? There’s something about hearing a middle-aged guy call another middle-aged guy out to the parking lot to rumble that’s just hilarious, I guess.

    On another note, I hope the brothers realize that they brought anything that follows upon themselves by fighting in meddlin’ earshot.

  11. Poteet
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I usually prefer to think of HAGAR as a comic in which the protagonists stroll onto a set, enact the plot, and then go behind the scenes to relax, chat, and have a few drinks before going home. This makes me feel better about Helga’s situation — I like to think she lives a small tasteful mansion in Toontown, rather than actually having to cook and clean all day.

    But if the latter were true, couldn’t Helga, in theory, ask Hagar to bring home a few slaves from one of his raids? And if that hasn’t happened, does that mean that Hagar and Helga may be unusually progressive and enlightened for their time period? And why the hell am I thinking about this instead of working? Back, back to my own huge stewpot…

  12. Porky
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Yesterday there was mention of a Marvin panel being a low point in the history of comic art. But there are so, so many other better examples foisted on us every day. Or should I say, worse examples? The drawing in Marvin is at least clear and well done – compared to scores of other strips. Sure, the gag is non-existent, but the artwork ranks in the top ten percent of what’s out there today.

    And now on to Gil Thorp. Three unrelated panels containing unrecognizable characters speaking lines that make no sense and don’t relate to each other in any apparent way. Something to do with baseball, I guess… but who cares!
    (That’s today’s strip I’m referring to… although I just realized it applies to just about every Gil Thorp…)

  13. Bootsy
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    MW: Why does Rick/Ron have an arrow through his head? A Steve Martin homage, perhaps?

  14. maughta
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    A baddle is also a grueling kayak/mountain bike race (see Gddamn, I’d like to see Mary get her ass whooped in a kayak/mountain bike race. Or is that too much information?

  15. Poteet
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    MW — Thanks for saying it, Josh. I don’t claim to be a raving beauty, but Richard and Ronald are two of the ugliest guys I’ve seen in the comics, ever. Eww. At least if they do rumble in the lot, they won’t have to worry about messing up each other’s faces.

    Okay, NOW back to work.

  16. KH
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Funky Forecast

    I smell a Very Special storyline coming.

    Young Master Winkerbean will meet not with the principal, but with a counselor. Who will discover his malcontent is all rooted in the death of his father and in the fact he was tossed aside by his mother during her romance with comic man. Said tossing was indeed quite a feat for our one-armed conductor, but painful for our young lad nonetheless.

    And so the slow, slow slide into the story of Wally begins. Culminating, no doubt with a wreath, tears, self-pity and Memorial Day.

  17. Sheilagh
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    I prefer seeing Hagar looting and pillaging than, say, playing golf.

    BTW, what about that Lio shout-out today? I was amused that he had to label Mark Trail as “Mark Trail” — no artistic confidence! Ol’ Mark looks fabulous in the hairbow…

  18. Wally Limpingbean
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Wally died of MRSA.


    The moral of the story?

    Keep your nose clean, junior.

  19. mcmc
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The guy in this morning’s Panel 2 has obviously been up all night piling up sandbags to hold off the MRSA.

    Mark Trail: The suspense is killing me. Will those bad people be bad enough to kidnap Bill? Who knows?

  20. Herb WOODley
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Dagwood has to sit on the chest to make phone calls.

    Blondie makes him do it.

    She is so tired of finding him asleep on the couch or chair with the girl from the 900 number saying “are you there?” “did you cum yet baby?” “are you snoring or are you into some weird submarine sandwich fetish?”

  21. NotAGoatHead
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Hmmm, let’s see what Hagar has in his loot bag. There’s a crown, a candelabra, a treasure chest with pearls hanging out, a musical lyre, and OH MY GOD! IT’S A CHAMBER POT! Will these bodily function cartoons never end?!

  22. WillieO
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    I wonder how many innocent deaths have been caused by helga’s materialism as poor arrow-perforated Hagar is driven on another killing spree to satiate her eternal lust for all things shiny.

  23. Old School Allie Cat
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #16 – KH – I like your style, but you have the wrong Winkerbean. Cory is actually Funky’s stepson, the biological product of Holly Budd’s first marriage.

    Wally Jr. is only eleven or twelve, and we still don’t know what became of Wally Sr. And we probably won’t for another, what, six years?

  24. Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Today’s Lio.

    Shout out to us, or not? Either way I love it.

  25. KH
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    #23. Wow. Sorry. They all look alike to me. Damn – it was going to be great!!

  26. Niall
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    After resting through most of last night (recuperating from too much fun), I have a chance to reply to yesterthread as a new thread arrives, of course…

    y109. boojum: Thank you. :) I believe the discussion was that any royalties would happen based on sales. As this is an independant band getting no real airplay but strictly word of mouth, I’m not holding my breath. It’s enough fun just seeing my name there. :)

    y119. DiamondJoe: oh god, that was horrible. As in a car crash.

    y125. and y140. bats :[ : See? This is why I had faith in you regarding FC. :)

    y136. Mibbitmaker: …invading Canada? (NS) I had a look. And I snickered. Oh, let them come. Please. We need an excuse to get some exercice.

    y138. DiamondJoe: why are you reading Redeye? If the Chron sees actual traffic to that strip, they might think people like it and will continue carrying it… it was tired and offensive when I saw French reprints of them 30 years ago…

    y145. Ed Power: By now, I know that stories aren’t just “over”. I mean – this is a very status-quo-changing event! I thought syndicates disallowed those in strips! You can’t have Jeff’s wife changing mind and cancelling the divorce, that would still change the whole dynamic of his life. Things aren’t static. Anything can happen. Yet another reason I like the strip. The existence of emo ducks is definitely another. :) Hmm.. “Don’t bite, emo duck!” “I can’t, I don’t even have teeth. Slylock Fox says so. The universe hates me. I’ll go pluck out a feather and scar myself with it now.” (Since Sly is now kinda-canon with that universe. ;))

    Great news about the font! Yes, many many letterers have made fonts of their handwriting. It’s an arduous task, but once done makes things much more dynamic. I love it!

    Checking the rest of the blog..

    Holy crap Ashley fan art andargjskdakj (rushing sound of drool leaving mouth)


    Ahem. Um, nice contest and prizes! I love the way Melissa rendered the winners in an almost-recogniseable way. :) Stefanie will win the “Most Amazingly Cute” award. Hmm, put her in the same room as Norm’s brother, and either something horrid, or something wonderful would happen. Or a giant matter/anti-matter explosion. :)

    y166. Spec Spid-Bric: Wow, I must have been tired to confuse barracks with whatever the term for a prison is in military camps. My snark is reduced to nothing. Nothing!!

    y178. AfkaBen on SFx: And when the mice rise up, Slylock will find out that Max has only been playing patsy all the while, binding his time, and now taking his sweet, cold revenge.

  27. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    I Found All Six (aka — Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny)

    Today’s Six Differences is almost identical to this one. In fact, five of the six differences still apply. The only one that doesn’t apply is the one about the contents of the jar one of the mice is carrying (number three on my list of differences at the second link). That’s definitely a jar of gherkins in both panels. (I love the word gherkin!) However, Bob Weber, Jr., included an additional difference for us to find. Without further ado, the new difference number three:

    3) In panel one, the comic strip on the side of the fridge is Cathy. The owner of the fridge is on a diet and wanted some dieting humor, somehow failing to realize that Cathy does not actually contain humor, but rather a sort of cardboard-textured, artificially-flavored, humorlike substitute. In panel two, it’s Lio. Somebody has taste.

    This episode of I Found All Six has been brought to you by Vlasic.

  28. ScienceGiant
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Blendword Baddle – “Mary Worth is so baddle make you cry.”

  29. Revenge of Chesnut
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Question: Did the vikings not have wheelbarrows? I am too lazy to look this up, but I feel like Hagar is going to throw out his back lugging around what must be the sturdiest burlap sack ever full of solid gold loot. Just sayin’. I do enjoy, however, how he doesn’t bleed out of his arrow wounds. Don’t ever bleed on the treasure.

  30. Niall
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    8. Dingo: “Curse you, van” was hilarious – so was the rest, despite the disturbing mental images. But then, we expect that from you. :)

  31. dale
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]


    I misread “doughy” as “doughty”. That probably wasn’t a typo.

    You could work “biddy” into the sentence. Actually, red shirt in panel 1 looks like Mary.

  32. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Yes, Hagar and Helga are truly a match made in Valhalla, or perhaps Stovokor .

  33. Digital Autumn
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    re: Blondie

    Dagwood’s lounging seems suspicious to me too, very suspicious! He’s obviously posed there, surprised by Blondie’s entrance, trying to cover up whatever is underneath him, or what exactly he was doing with that telephone receiver before she walked in. Look casual! he’s thinking to himself.

  34. Gabe
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    No, Helga was in a castle Hagar raided and carried her home. She was so overcome with his rape style romantic impulses she fell in love and married him.

    No, I’m not making any of that up. That’s directly from a strip where their daughter asks how they met.

  35. Gabe
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    There was supposed to be a strikethrough on “rape style” but it didn’t take the HTML. Oh well, still works.

  36. Korvo
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: Does anyone know how old these people are supposed to be? Do we _really_ have to endure a storyline about alleged adults “stealing boyfriends”?

    Bad enough that in this alternate world, everyone only screws within the bounds of wedlock, but now we have THIS? What are they, 18?

    And who CARES! I’d like to see that smug wench lose her insipid man.

  37. teegee
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Blondie: I like how Daisy looks right at the camera drawing board when the punchline is delivered. A classic of comedic delivery. I look forward to the day when she does a spit-take while drinking from her bowl. Or better yet, the toilet.

  38. kippetje2000
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Bootsy: I think that’s a “I’m with Stupid” arrow. And I think it’s pointing in the wrong direction.

    MRSA isn’t just dangerous to noses, it seems to have moved on to Dr. Reed’s chin.
    And if Mrs. A is so life threatening, don’t you think she’d have moved away by now?

  39. nancois
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Blondie bare a strong resemblance to Dolly Parton…withou the bling.

  40. Wazoo
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Seems like Red Sweater Guy in “Mary Worth” misunderstands the whole “arrow through the head” gag.

  41. Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Bagels & Pastries Division
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    I have tried to avoid complaining too much about FBoFW for the past few weeks. But this morning just lit my fuse.

    Lynn, you *really* need to buy a clue! If Rod has taken you to the cleaners in the divorce, I’ll lend you the money.

    The last panel text as it should be, but never will be:

    “I finally get it! I’m a manipulative, over-bearing BITCH! I’ve got to change!”

  42. AhClem
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    #8 Dingo -
    As the fine mist of Diet Pepsi settles over the monitor, keyboard and walls of my cube, I am reminded once again of the hazards of reading one of your stories during lunch at work.

    Carry on.

  43. trey le parc
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    My newspaper runs MW in black and white during the week so it’s only when I’m here I see MW or another daily strip in color.

    Today when I saw MW (above) I was struck by the fact that even employing color as an artistic and dynamic effect the artists still managed to imbue the colors with a sense of middle-aged practicality and, subtly, admonition mingled with resignation and acceptance of fate.

    There’s a theorem in there somewhere.

  44. Gene
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    FunkWink – That redhead is STILL wearing that hat in school. If she isn’t getting radiation treatment I want that hat off.

  45. Prankster
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    I actually specifically remember a Hagar strip where he talked about how he snatched Helga from her father’s castle and forcibly carried her back to his boat. And as he was doing this, Helga was listening in and smiling proudly. Good times, good times.

  46. Pozzo
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    “Oh, Ronald (or is it Richard?) — the arrow-through-head-gag gets me every time!”

  47. js
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood’s just trying to keep Blondie from discovering the body of Elmo in the window seat.

  48. nancois
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    MW – I believe the hospital decided to just put up an arrow to direct all fueding family members to take it outside to the parking lot. The next scene should prove to be paydirt for Mary Worth as she will encounter a parking lot filled with baddles.

  49. Gene
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Gil T – IS it just me or are there 3 different comics within the 3 panels. I’ve had it up to here* with these Milford kids and their incoherent story lines!

    *hand gesturing towards Thorpian manly chin

  50. MJ1066
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Hooray! Luann’s finally growing a backbone! Maybe the next strip will show Bernice running out of Luann’s room in tears because Luann yelled at her, “Get out of here, you emotionally abusive bully.”

  51. Gabe
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Prankster remembers it too. Shame on your lack of Hagar the Horrible knowledge, Josh!

  52. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    MW – I like the way Mary has jabbed that arrow into the mafioso brother’s skull. Nice work, hon!

  53. kippetje2000
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Other famous arrows through the head…
    Can you guess the guest skull?

  54. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    #46 – Hahahaa! Sorry, I didn’t read back.
    Dennis the now non-menace used to make Alice faint regularly with that joke, plus the ketchup-and-bandage-on-head thriller.

  55. rug thief
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    I’m with Poteet @11–that’s one enormous cauldron. Just what the hell is Helga cooking, anyway?

  56. Spike
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Lio: One of the few reasons to read the comics. Tatulli rocks!!!

    PBS: See above comment, and replace “Pastis” for “Tatulli”.

    Crankshaft: Foreshadowing of yet another TB death-happens-so-deal-with-it-! rant?

    y# 14 bats :[ (as well as # 125 and #140): Please join Messrs. Tatulli and Pastis in the Winners Circle.

    y #126 True Fable: From your mouth to Moy’s and Giella’s ears! I was dumbfounded that MW neglected to at least introduce herself or say something along the lines of, “Boys! Boys!” before the meddling commenced…Tsk! Such bad form!

    y#176 man behind the curtain: Yeah, it would’ve been great to see those two would-be pugilists with question-mark or exclamation-point thought ballons drawn in those panels.

    #44 Gene: Maddie is the daughter of Crazy Harry, who was also known for never removing his hat while in school. “The apple does not fall far from the tree…” Of course she does reside in Westview, so the cancer is inevitable.

  57. Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Oh, it’s Richard. Why did I think it was Rod? Was I drinking again? Who are you people?

  58. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    #53 – No, but have you ever heard of that poor fellow Phineas Gage?

  59. NotAGoatHead
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Where the arrow through the head actually belongs. (scroll down)

  60. MJ1066
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    More about Luann: Bernice reminds me of Cubbi-Wubbi, my self-proclaimed “best bud” from high school whom I described in previous Comics Curmudgeon posts. You can Google “Cubbi-Wubbi” to bring up the previous threads and find out the whole nasty story. I don’t feel like re-typing it. The point is that Bernice is a lousy excuse for a friend. I don’t know why Luann puts up with her.

  61. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    16 — Isn’t Cory Funky’s stepson, not Wally’s son?

  62. Dariaclone
    April 17th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    I’m struck today by the my realization that the “hick” in Gasoline Alley has the most modern haircut on the comics page. Shouldn’t the modern bob cut be on the NY women of A3G? And I don’t know a man who has had the Mary Worth standard male haircut in years. Mind you, I think that of the men I know, only one even has that much hair.

  63. Galuaboy
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    #36–I didn’t start reading 9CL until I happily stumbled across Josh’s brilliance last year, so I had been wondering the same thing. Edda is 20 years old, as she pointed out in the April 7 strip. Hmmm . . . Edda . . . strip . . . sorry, lost my train of thought there.

  64. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Those two brothers in MW probably use too much Grecian Formula, Rogaine, cologne and wear Viagra rings. Blargh.

  65. man behind the curtain
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    MW — Shouldn’t the arrow be on the red sweatshirt along with the “I’m with stupid” line.

  66. rhymes with puck
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: I think the pose is creepy because it accentuates Dagwood’s 2 foot long upper leg and six inch long lower leg.

    Phantom: Long sleeve shirts and shorts? The first item of business for the first two women members of the Jungle Patrol will be to teach those guys how to dress. The second item, of course, will be for the former waitress to get everyone coffee.

    Spider-Man: Even “The Hottie and the Nottie” was released in theaters! This movie is so bad that Peter’s spider-sense will go off from just holding the DVD.

    RMMD: I want to see Rex walking through town with a wheelbarrow yelling “BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!”

    FW: Is it just me, or have Winkerbean smirks gotten much more evil in the last 10 years?

    BB: Um, wouldn’t “HO-HUM” mean that they are bored instead of tired?

  67. Spanky the Jungle Patrol Love Chinchilla
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I have an idea on how this storyline can be stretched out well into the summer — have Richard and Ronald’s parking lot smack-down follow, blow-by-blow, the Keith David – Roddy Piper fight scene in John Carpenter’s “They Live.” Although South Park already did this in the famous Jimmy – Timmy “Cripple Fight” scene in 2001, it is well worth repeating.

  68. kippetje2000
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    #59 NotAGoatHead: Looks like Papa Smurf has a bad case of the MRSA! “How you going to kill it?”

  69. Meanwhile
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Is it possible that Helga has gone all googly-eyed not for the Big Bag o’ Booty that Hagar has lugged home, but instead because she is tickled to pieces over the arrow lodged in Hagar’s own booty? And perhaps a little aroused?

    Seriously, her eyes are pointed right at it.

    And I’m pretty sure the cauldron is full of Hagar’s dirty undies. You can’t just scrub Hagar-grade trackmarks out on a rock; you gotta BOIL ‘em out.

    Maybe that’s why she’s excited about that arrow he took in the tuckus — one fewer pair of undies to boil.

  70. Meanwhile
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Oops, I meant skidmarks, not trackmarks.

    Oh well, I got comment #69, so I’m pretty happy right now.

  71. Gordo's Cat
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    #17 – Sheilagh says:
    BTW, what about that Lio shout-out today? I was amused that he had to label Mark Trail as “Mark Trail” — no artistic confidence!

    Ah, but don’t forget that Lio is wearing Dick Tracy’s hat, and that gratuitous arrow-labels used to be an old standby in the latter’s comic strip.

    Speaking of whom, once Lio finishes busting Mark Trail for theft of clothing, I’m wondering if ol’ Dick will show up to do the same to Lio for filching his fedora!

  72. odinthor
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    #22. WillieO.

    I wonder how many innocent deaths have been caused by helga’s materialism as poor arrow-perforated Hagar is driven on another killing spree to satiate her eternal lust for all things shiny.

    Ah [sigh], WillieO . . . every morning, millions of husbands on the way to work ask themselves much the same thing.

  73. man behind the curtain
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    #48 Nancois — yes the parking lot will be in full scale riot mode with about 100 people going at each other in total mayhem and with the SWAT team about to descend upon them with tasers set on “STUN”.

  74. smacky
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: Unless that yard is fenced, that girl’s puppy was five blocks away by the time she shut the door, kidnappers or no kidnappers. Puppies don’t grasp the concept of property lines! Looks like mammals by the name of Bill can’t get away from her fast enough!

    Speaking of dogs, today’s Red & Rover was cute.

  75. Chris
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    MW – Wait, was the invitation to the parking lot directed to the brother, or to Mary? It could go either way.

  76. boojum
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    64 Calico:

    Um, one hardly dares to ask, but *ahem*:

    Where does one wear a Viagra ring?

    My interest is purely scientific……

  77. timprovphilly
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MJ1066, I just read your little story. Pretty interesting, I think we’ve all had friends like that, I’m just wondering what she did or said recently that didn’t make you want to give her another chance as a friend? Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of high school people who were my ‘friends’ then who I really feel I’ve outgrown as an adult but, the few times I’ve had a high school friend want to be my friend years later, I gave them a chance before realizing we won’t work as adult friends. (To be fair it’s only really happen twice, I didn’t have too many high school friends and those I did have are still my friends 20 years later.)

  78. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    #76 – Here, my dear sir, around the finger only…

  79. boojum
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Also, the dolly move in Mary Worth is making me woozy. It doesn’t help that it seems to be in the opposite direction to the arrow.

    And shouldn’t we have saved this particular directorial touch for the “Sharks ve. Jets” rumble in the parking lot?

    Bo-y, bo-y,
    Saggy bo-y –
    Keep cool, boy!

    78 Calico –

    Oh. Never mind…..

  80. commodorejohn
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Wait, is this Seth The Gay Roommate? Is he offering to prostitute himself to protect Amos’s virginity? Freud would have a field day with this.

    AS – Okay, nobody is allowed to call B.C. “anachronistic” ever again.

    Baldo – Or, kid, you could just resign yourself to driving a car that *gasp* *shock* someone else in your town also drives, instead of getting bitchy about it like a cartoon woman seeing someone else wearing the same dress. Grow up, whiner.

    Crankshaft – And, as Old Bat is surely gasping her last in the throes of a coronary, or perhaps bleeding out from a head injury sustained while falling down the stairs, Crankshaft stops the rescue party to make a probably life-ending pun. You go, Ed.

    Curtis – Quick, Curtis! Underneath the false floorboards!


    GA – What the…Gasoline Alley was actually honestly funny and clever today, in the middle of this crap storyline. Huh.

    GT – You know, we joke about Escher and “impossible objects” in regards to Gil Thorp, but I think today’s is actually the first strip to contain one. Look at the chain-link fence in panel two…notice anything about the guy’s foot?

    Luann – haha intentional misinterpretation ftw

    RMMD – Oh, the glorious madness.

    WOI – What does it say about me that when I read “gnu,” my first thought was of the organization and not the animal?

  81. Little Guy
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    They’ll FOOB It Everytime Tip of the Keyboard to Al Scaduto, of Happy Memory: “The Delicate Genius, Knight of the Keyboard is never disturbed, whether fire, noisy kids, or the Apocalyse…. But when kid sister Aypo needs to complete a thought — what a pouty face!”

    Lio: The WIN! will be complete if the Fist O’ Justice wilts to the *chick* Knife.

    JP: I see London, I see France… BTW, I will be sorely disappointed if Sunday’s comic does not involve Abbey in bondage with her riding garb in a disheveled pile at her feet.

    Curtis: I’m riding on the “Curtis is giving non-healthy food for a price” bandwagon. I know there’s gonna be a reset button on all this, but I’m going to add that the administration is getting a kickback from the “healthy food” company, which is why they’re pushing this crap to the kids.

  82. Darkefang
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    BC: Mason did a nice job on today’s strip. He managed to mix comic genres that I would have otherwise declared incompatible. Masses of dialogue cover half the first two panels like they do in the dialogue-intensive strips like Cathy or For Better or For Worse. Then he mixes in idealistic dishevelist artwork, like you’d see in a Marmaduke or Crock. Finally, instead of a punchline, he ends the strip with an inscrutable action sequence that leaves us hanging for the exciting conclusion, like we’d see in The Phantom or Dick Tracy.

    Crankshaft: Crankshaft’s going to feel bad for making that pun when they find Jeff’s mom dead from some avocado-related accident. Well, no, probably not.

    FC: Perspective waved bye-bye to today’s Family Circus. Either Bil is 14 feet tall, or Jeffy is shorter than a Barbie doll. I’m used to the kids being short, but this is just getting comical. Certainly more comical than the punchline.

    JP: [Insert MedicAlert joke here.]

  83. MJ1066
    April 17th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #77 timprovphilly: I specifically asked Cubbi-Wubbi (not her real name) “Have you completely severed ties with all those people who wanted me to return to the Juniper (not its real name) public school system and be raped or murdered?” She wouldn’t answer me. If she had, indeed, severed all her connections to the abusive Juniper establishment, then she would have reassured me “No, I never talk to them anymore.” Have you heard of the “Six degrees of separation” theory? That theory definitely applies in my case. I was concerned that if I gave Cubbi-Wubbi my street address and phone number, she might give them to her friend Maddie-Waddie, who would give them to her friend Dibsy-Wibsy, who would give them to her friends Wolly and Rolly, who were two of the boys (now men, of course) who threatened to rape or murder me. (Not their real names, of course.) I wasn’t withholding information to spite Cubbi-Wubbi. I kept my distance because I was still concerned about my physical safety.

  84. Mars
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Now I know how to break up with a mermaid. Thanks, Bizarro!

  85. commodorejohn
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    #84 Mars – Hey, that’s the only actually good-looking mermaid I can recall seeing in the funnies. Saved!

  86. Justafoob
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Elly is just pissed off because she just remembered that it was Farley who drowned and not Apewill.

    She still has to feed and cloth the “mistake”.

    The least Apewill could do is drop everything and come running when Elly calls.

    Lord knows Farley would have.

    Or Mike.

    Or Liz.

    John is there because Elly blew her silent husband call.

  87. Spike
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    #80 commodorejohn: You’re confused. Does this help?


    A violist from Vienna, also at Juilliard, Burkhardt’s thoughts outside his profession focus entirely on good food and the opposite sex. He approaches both with the eagerness of a gourmand gazing upon new dishes. He never fancies permanent ties. His only female friend, anesthetic to his honed charm, is Isabel.

  88. Astroboy
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    FOOBs: Can we call Child Protective Services and get April the hell out of that nighmare of a household? Please? April is the only decent human being left in all of Foob-borough now that Lizzard has been ruined beyond all hope. Much as I was praying that there was still hope for Lizzard (if ONLY she were really sleeping with Paul behind Granthony’s back like in True Fable’s version!) that “the token that says I’m taken” pukefest proved that Lizzard is too far gone to be saved.

    We must save April now…before it’s too late!

  89. commodorejohn
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    #87 Spike – Ah, so it’s just 9CL’s general sex obsession, then ;)

  90. Old School Allie Cat
    April 17th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    FOOB – I’ll be honest – when I was living in my parents’, we always had dinner together at the table. And when I was called to dinner, I went, stat. That was the rule. Plus, I should point out – my father can really burn, so whatever was put on the table was good chow.

    And with pleasure. I mean, what I wouldn’t give to come home from a long days’ work to find dinner waiting for me at the table. Seriously, that would be incredible.

    But, I think Elly’s just a little effing pushy, especially because she’s been patting herself on the back all week.

    I also just like to see April get a last word in every now and again.

  91. BigTed
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Usually when you hear “your message is very important to us,” it’s because you’ve called a large company with a computerized voicemail system, not just an “answering machine.” But Dagwood’s friends are apparently so anxious not to talk to him that they’ve started recording it on their home machines, hoping to discourage him from leaving a message after the tone.

  92. Paul1963
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    44–I figure if Crazy Harry’s daughter (whose name I can’t be bothered to look up) takes that hat off, her hair will spring up into a giant red Afro and nobody sitting behind her will be able to see anything.

    I was a little concerned that Cory might be hitting on his own cousin until I remembered that Becky’s oldest is the Afghan girl she and Wally adopted and the brunette doesn’t look like her. Now, what would be interesting would be Cory taking a shine to Summer, leading to an awkward conversation between their fathers, who’ve been best friends for thirty years: “Say, Funky, I’d appreciate it if your stepson would refrain from trying to get into my daughter’s pants…”
    But, like I said, that would be interesting…

  93. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Oh my gosh. I just took a second look at yesterpost’s RMMD–the “HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?” guy is, without question, Les from Funky Winkerbean. (It seems so obvious when you think about it!) You have to hand it to Batuik, always on the lookout for fascinating new ways to kill his characters.

  94. Rebochan
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Josh, why why WHY no comments on the delightful insanity going on in Lio right now? Is the thought of Mark Trail as a perverted stalker of comic strip ladies just too overwhelming to confront?

    …seriously, Tatulli is just incredible. Between this and My Cage, I can maintain hope that people are still able to produce genuinely good strips in the newspaper world.

  95. Spike
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    #89 commodorejohn: Exactly. BTW, I had the same “Wha….?” reaction, until I read Isabel’s balloon in the third panel–never saw this character before. On the bright side Thorax is away.

  96. bats :[
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    56. Spike: very high praise (and I am definitely not worthy — taking pot shots is easy (for me, at least!)).

    78. Calico: if picking lint off of one’s Viagra tablet is the cause for spending $50-$80 on a damned cheap piece of jewelry, I’ll offer to blow the lint off for half that price!
    (Geez, that sounds bad.)
    Ah, well, there’s a sucker born every minute.
    (That sounds bad, too.)

    Why are the various city council or stockholder or board meetings that *I* go to never this much fun?

  97. Ross
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    JP: Oh, God, this is why Judge Parker is the slowest strip ever. Abbey is NEVER going to find out what is going on in that barn (not that it isn’t stupidly obvious.) Once she deals with Marie and tries again, Neddy’s going to call from France to reveal she’s knocked up or something.

  98. PeteMoss
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Just now was my first opportunity all week to check in on Josh’s fantasmigorical, ever-entertaining, whimsical blog-o-funny, but it appears he to continues to amuse. Bravo, my man. One of your recent posts made me laugh because you used the word, “boogers,” so that informs as to my level of humor. Anyways…thanks.

    Oh, and I may not be the first one to point out that that one of those guys in Mary Worth might be portrayed by Steve Martin since he’s got an arrow going through his head in the second panel.

  99. Gabe
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Phantasmagorial? Do you listen to Cathedral?

  100. The Gland Canyon
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    I have absolutely no hope for any fighting action in this Mary Worth storyline. At least with Mark Trail most of the storylines will include some sort of physical assault.

  101. True Fable
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    # 97 Ross – Yeah, and Neddy will be knocked up by none other than SuperCedric!

    All the good sex happens off panel at Judge Parkerland. And by “good sex” I mean, any hint of passion between two characters in the least, much less the mechanics of the action. I mean the latter is understandable in a family newspaper but you’d think the former would at least be mentioned once in a while without having to get high on green brownies.

    Let’s go back to Paris.

  102. True Fable
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    #96 bats :[ – the best use of comics lately is to provide the artwork base for you to make into masterpieces. That stuff is GREAT!

  103. LTBF
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    “I’m not siging uo for your clas next year”? What is that supposed to mean. When I was in high school, we had basic classes we had to take with maybe one or two electives. I don’t know what this guy teaches, but my high school had teachers assigned to teach each grade, such as Freshman English. .

  104. Phred22
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Sherman’s Lagoon

    This week the title character got sucked up into a trawler where he faces the prospect of being turned into fish sticks and shark fin soup. Will this really happen? Nah, syndicates hate getting pressure to change a strip’s name. Note how Barney Google is still getting billing with Snuffy Smith.

  105. timprovphilly
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Hey MJ1066, I knew there had to be more to the story, not that you needed to justify anything to me but thank you for drenching my curiosity!

  106. Gene
    April 17th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    92 – I guess there’s just a whole lot about the funkyverse I just don’t know….

  107. NotAGoatHead
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    JP: They’re gonna kill Abbey. Then they’ll have their way with the not-able-to-run-away Marie. Marie will disappear. Sam Driver will return and find the remains of Abbey’s body in a shallow grave. A smile will slowly cross Sam’s face as he realizes he’s just inherited the ranch. Sam will sell all and take off with Gloria. Steve, the gimp lawyer, will take over Sam’s practice. The strip will suddenly become all “cartoony” and be renamed “Half a Man” about a lawyer with no legs. The strip will suddenly become funny as the Prosecutor tells Steve, “You don’t have a leg to stand on.”

    I awaken from my dream… Abbey is crouching in the bushes…

  108. Calico
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    #96 – Yes, Bwaahahhaah! Great stuff.

    MW – I don’t think these guys know that Mary has a Black Belt in meddling. Good luck fellas!

  109. Spike
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    #96 bats :[ : Were you raised by nuns? :-) Your take on things is priceless (generally LOL for me), and one reason I keep up with this site! At the risk of repeating myself, you’ve got more creativity in your thumbnail than most of the writers on the “Comics Page”. BTW, I caught your snark at FOOB and agree wholeheartedly!

  110. Tats
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    A3-G: I don’t know why Margo insists on this charade. Lu Ann’s opinion is, as ever, immaterial. My theory is that she’s just testing to see if Lu Ann will acquiesce with Margo’s schemes or if she’ll put up a fight and needs to be… disappeared.

    FW: The new Funky is somehow even more aggressively smirky than the last one, an impressive feat. Only now the smirks aren’t coming from chronically-depressed adults who need some form of solace as the people they grew up with drop around them like flies, they’re coming from asshole kids who’ve never known any hardship, so they’re far less palatable. Batiuk needs to give one of them lupus. That’ll learn ‘em. That’ll learn ‘em good.

    MW: It appears that Vera has quietly sneaked in and out of this Mary Worth storyline and can be seen leaving the hospital in the background of panel two. “I was told my storyline was next… oh, it’s after this one? Alright. I’ll be back in eight months when the current story is nearing completion.”

    S-M: A look of dismay as Peter realizes why no one has answered his calls since Spiderman 3 was released.

  111. bats :[
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    109. Spike: no, I wasn’t raised by nuns (although I do have a button that says “I was raised by a pack of wild corndogs.” Does that count?). However, I was a public school brat, and so I missed much of the Golden Age of Saturday morning cartoons, having to go to Catechism class on Saturday mornings throughout grade school. That could explain things.

  112. i thought that was a boy
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    i would really like to be there when mary and her brother were going at it. in the parking lot, after peeing, i mean after all it is the best place to be doing either one of those things


    maybe better if you’ve got a hot sibling or a bumper for gliding

    either or bost is for both to be nice

  113. JB
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    104 Phred22 — The only change in a strip’s title that springs to mind in recent years is the Robotman to Monty switch.

  114. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    104 — nah… the kid hacker fish and the crab will find a way to free Sherman. Besides, the 1-legged shark hunter MUST get his revenge on Sherman before the strip can end.

  115. Diamond Joe
    April 17th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    #113 JB:

    “Too Much Coffee Man” has been “How to Be Happy” in the title bar for quite a while now, but I still see it listed only under the old title on comic strip websites, so I don’t know which is official.

  116. electro of the Jungle Patrol
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: And I’ll be a happy guy if “That’s it! You and me in the parking lot! Let’s go!” was directed at Mary.

  117. nerowolfgal
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #29 – Revenge of the Chesnut asked: Did the vikings not have wheelbarrows?

    Actually no. Wheelbarrows were invented in the 12th century during the building of the Notre Dame Cathedral in France. They speeded up the work so much that their invention was seen as proof God taking a personal interest in the project.

    Vikings hauling away loads of plunder from Christian churchs in wheelbarrows would probably have been seen as the opposite.

  118. cheech wizard
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Phantom – “Form a construction detail – today we are building barracks. Then go into town and pick up some pink paint! And frilly curtains! For they may be in the Jungle Patrol, but we are still in the 1950s! Haw-haw-haw-haw! Damn, I’ve been trying to get the Unknown Commander to hire me a secretary for years.”

    MT – Does that little girl actually expect a dog – a baby dog, at that – to understand and follow verbal directions? “Be sure to stay out of the street today, Sparky, because they’re doing roadwork and the cement trucks will be trundling through here at 70 m.p.h. Oh, and don’t drink the antifreeze Uncle Mort drained out of the car – guess your bowl was the only catch basin he could find.” Maybe it’s for the best if those dognappers take him – at least they’ve shown they know how to successfully train a dog.

    The bigger question is why she spends so much time with that dog. I don’t think it’s because her father left – I think it’s because none of the other kids will play with her because they’re too freaked out by her huge, staring, souless eyes.

  119. boojum
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Theo-Historical Haiku

    Slow work, Notre Dame.
    Then God made the wheelbarrow.
    And lo! It was good.

  120. JB
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]


    No mention of Notre Dame here, though the first European version does fit the same timeframe:

  121. JupiterPluvius
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    So, I, too, had to go to the 9CL “Meet the Characters” to figure out who this Burkhardt dude was…

    …and I see that Seth has been described as “an unabashed wearer of the Green Carnation.”

    Margo! Saturn! Boxcar!

    This is 2008. Two thousand and eight, dumplin’. Not the Dark Ages.

    That love actually dares to speak its name now.

  122. Donald The Anarchist
    April 17th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    MW Next Mary will go to a home for developmentally disabled adults and scold them all for acting so childishly.

    Blondie apparently finds honesty shocking. Then again, that just may be the Botox, as she looks like that in every last panel.

    JP Wouldn’t a great way to wrap up this storyline be for Abby to say, “Why should I care what you do? What am I, Mary Worth?”

  123. Moss_Mowes_Us
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Josh, Dagwood sits there because the phone cord won’t reach to his usual resting place on the couch and the Bumsteads don’t have cordless or cellphones.

    As for R&R, they need to quit fighting each other and concentrate on fighting Mary Worth. I hope they ask her if she wants to see a fight between them, then surround her and pummel the hell out of that meddling old hag! Then when she asks why, they can say, “you wanted to see a fight between us and you were right in the middle between us”.

  124. Yahtzee
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Blondie reminds me strongly of the Hitchcock film “Rope,” in which two guys murder a friend of theirs, then throw a party for his friends and family at which they serve food from the credenza — where the friend’s dead body has been stowed. They kept leaning on that credenza lot during the party.

    All I’m saying is, when Mr. Dithers never appears in the strip again, remember this.

  125. Mike
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: And here I thought that the guy on the right wanted to kick the crap out of Mary for stepping in the middle of some “brotherly love.” My bad.

  126. Harold
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    I believe Brother Brownjacket is calling Mary out. He hates old people.

    Has anyone else noticed that the eeeevil petnappers in Mark Trail look like Blondie and Dagwood: The White Trash Years?

    Mark Trail makes a special guest appearance in today’s Lio!

  127. Sans Sense
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]


    Someone gave me a cold. I am killing the next person I meet who sniffles.

  128. Uncle Balustrade
    April 17th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Re: Mary Worth: Well, from what I can see, the brother in the red sweatshirt is defeated already. Not only does he have a rather large arrow through his head, but his left hand has been slashed rather badly between the index and middle fingers. Good thing he’s already in a hospital. “Calling Dr. Howard; Dr. Fine; Dr. Howard!!!”

  129. Jamus The Bartender
    April 17th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: So, that’s it, huh Elly? You’ve found someone who you can’t sink your hooks into and you’re just gonna walk, is that it? Aww, motherhood’s not as easy as Oprah made you think it would be? Looks like someone’s dropped the reins, here, so to speak. Well, too freaking bad.
    April’s maybe typing something in her blog that could enlighten people in India, Sri Lanka, Newark….who can say? But, you’re worried that she’s gonna get all skinny on you, and diss your so-called “family time”. Sure, Liz came back from Mgfirstnationsplace, and Mike and Dee are the Sonny Corleone and whoever his wife was of Foobland. But April never quite turned, did she? And now you’re gonna quit.
    Aw well, that’s okay. Roadside’s got a sidewalk spot reserved for April for just this sort of situation. I’m sure Dr. Drew from Mary Worth will make April a very happy lady, once he gets tired of those ladies who like to make love long time.
    Have a nice wedding, mother of the bride.

  130. Jamus The Bartender
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    Lio. If those kids find Cassandra’s underwear and dish of creme with brandy with all that other stuff, i’m gonna kick Mark Trail’s ass.

  131. Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    So that’s what a credenza is.

  132. adriangires
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Red-shirt in Mary Worth is copping a sly feel.

  133. Buck Ripsnort
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    #131– Mrs Buck, were you expecting the moss-covered, three-handled family credenza from Cat in the Hat (animated version, God bless Chuck Jones and Alan Sherman)?

  134. Poteet
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    # 127 Sans — Excellent. I bow.

  135. FOOBed again
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s Gil Thorp has Marty Moon (I think) in it:

    Today’s Gil Thorp had the undefined, neutral blond guy talking to Gil again–if that’s Kaz I’m going to seriously consider never looking at this strip again.

    Today’s FOOB: God, Elly is a bitch much of the time now, when she’s not bragging about how wonderful she is. Just because April doesn’t jump to munch, glomp, chomp, chew, snarf, EAT the minute Elly calls her, she has a meltdown. Even Elly should know there’s more to life than munch, glomp, chomp, chew, snarf, EAT.

  136. Buck Ripsnort
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    And while everybody’s praising BC today, didn’t Johnny Carson do these gags to Ed oh, about 40 years ago? (goddam I am OLD.)

  137. Diamond Joe
    April 17th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    #136 Buck Ripsnort:

    That was my reaction, too… that the cartoonist really misses Carson’s old “Carnac” bit.

  138. JP (not Judge Parker)
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Elly is flipping out – what a great punchline! When my mom would do the exact same thing to me, I always found it knee-slapping funny when my mom would go scream about not wanting to be a mom anymore in the other room as if I couldn’t hear. Haha!

    Seriously, I can’t stand this strip. If FOOB accurately reflected child-parent relationships, I am betting her kids would move a few thousand miles away from her like my brother and I did.

  139. minor flood
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    The only thing I can think of that would explain Helga’s reaction to Hagar’s boring bag of pillaged treasure would be the presence of a great big, golden, jewel-encrusted dil…. uh, dill pickle. Or maybe it’s the beads hanging out the side of the bag. Oh god, I’m gonna be sick…

  140. Peter
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I like how Rob, or is it Richard? the red sweater one has attempted to lighten up the situation by pulling the old arrow through the head gag.

  141. sally
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    127 Sans — say, now that you mention it, isn’t that the plot of Agatha Christie’s The Mirror Crack’d?

  142. Alfred E. Neuman, Carnac-loving geezer
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    #136 Buck Ripsnort, #137 Diamond Joe— I’m a geezer myself and fondly remember those Carnac “curses”. My all-time favorite is, “May a diseased yak sit on your breakfast”.

  143. Sally Villarreal
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    I know this is off topic, but I just wanted to ask if I’m the only one baffled by today’s “BC”

  144. buzz
    April 17th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    I think what’s bugging you about Dagwood’s pose is that when you analyze it (the solid blacks help obscure the mistake) you’ll see his thighs are twice as long as his shins.

    Mind you, I like the idea of Elmo being stuffed in the box…

  145. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    #143 Sally Villarreal Re “B.C.”— The artist (Mason Mastroianni) is obviously a fan of the Carnac The Magnificent skit from the old Johnny Carson Show, and is paying tribute to it. When Carnac (played by Johnny) would tell a joke that bombed (which he frequently did), he would place a “curse” on the groaning audience. See my post #142 for my favorite Carnac curse.

    Check out this Wikipedia site for more info on Carnac:

  146. Lisa
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    He used to curse Ed too, when he would come up with a good comeback to him….

  147. Gordo's Cat
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    #133 – God bless Friz Freleng! He was the one who really made that “Cat in the Hat” cartoon. (Unca Chuck started it, but didn’t get very far before turning it over to the great Friz.) And an extra-special blessing to Dr. Seuss, who not only wrote the original story, but also oversaw the making of the cartoon and contributed such delightful embellishments as the moss-covered three-handled family credenza (or grudunza, or whatever).

    Getting back on topic: B.C.’s “Curse Exchange” with its two-guys walking away non-punchline is something Johnny Hart used to do off and on back in the 80′s. It wasn’t any funnier back then, either.

  148. Mr. Wuxtry
    April 17th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    #20 Herb WOODley: You said the secret woid, it’s “chest.’ Just wish I could draw a duck flying down with a reward for you. That thing Dagwood’s sitting on ain’t no credenza, it’s a cedar chest. The Bumsteads have kept their phone on it for 70-some years, despite the inconvenience of having to move everything off when they want to raise the lid to open it. They store their extra blankets inside it so moths won’t chew holes in them, a comic-strip plague we don’t see much any more.

  149. Nemo
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    It’s odd. Today’s (well, technically yesterday’s by now) Garfield, while containing the precise formula for a rather amusing joke, somehow fails to be actually funny. What makes it worse is that Garfield’s final line, which kills the whole thing, would have been omitted twenty or so years ago.

  150. Tabby
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Why is Abby wearing Indiana Jones’s hat instead of a helmet? Why is she riding in a western saddle but wearing what appear to be tall boots? So, ok, she doesn’t usually do much spying and she forgot to turn off her phone, but why oh why does she stay right there in that bush to take her phone call? Wouldn’t you mash the button to silence the ring, finish your spy and then get yourself far away before you checked your voice mail?

  151. KH
    April 17th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    #111 Bats. I got kicked out of CCD. I am certain someone could do a thesis on the correllation between catechism and snark.

    Maybe we could have a private meeting with Eggs Benedict while he’s here and see if he agrees.

  152. bats :[
    April 18th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Not much for me to snark today…I think the MRSA meeting took it all out of me. But let’s see…good for April on turning the tables on Elly (even if she doesn’t realize it)…oh, yeah, big man John. Woo.

    And if only Mary had kept up with her “Italian for Meddlers” tapes!

  153. Cheese-n-Pear
    April 18th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    RMMD: …And that was when the entire town of Glenwood began huffing bleach…

  154. True Fable
    April 18th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    FBoFW It should be no secret that I am disgusted with this comic strip and have been for some time. But what really surprises me is how much Lynn Johnston must hate it, especially in light of how incredibly disgusting her own characters are behaving lately. It is my theory that Lynn hates them so much, she figures if she makes them distasteful enough then she won’t have any fans begging for her to continue the storylines. BUT she will still have those who long for the alleged “Good Old Days” of Foob to buy her rancid book collections.

    Dammit, Lynnie Baby. You fucking Hack.

  155. A New Day
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    I love so many things about this story line. My favorite thing today is that Dr. Whatsisface is telling this overcrowded hall of sweaty, angry people to “limit contact.” Hehehe.

  156. Niall
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Staying Up Late Friday Comics Edition!

    A3G: LuAnn states the obvious… and then decides to commit a form of ritual suicide, knowing full well that art works are worth far more after the artist’s death, especially under unusual circumstances. Death By Margo would count.

    Blondie: But.. it’s already Friday… learn to know when those gags are run!! I mean, you’re writing the date and everything on it!

    Curtis: I’m so “sick” of these “apostrophes” littered “everywhere” for no go”o”d rea”s”o”n”!! Also, that hair in panel 3 scares me. It’s not normal.

    Edge City: does not escape the red=black, sadly.

    F Minus warms the cockles of my geeky heart today.

    FC: … HOW DO WE KILL IT??!

    GF: ZING!

    GT: It’s… MARTY MOON! At a distance! At an angle… ah darn it!! Also, his vaguely scatological comment is disgusting.

    JP: “…I’d recognise that ass wiggling anywhere!” So would we, Biff. So would we.

    MT: You want sickening? This is the canine equivalent to kiddie porn here! She’s how old and he’s how young??

    PBS: Off-panel but on-air death! In the comics!!

  157. mollificent
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    I know it’s already time for Friday snarkage, but I hope you’ll all indulge me in some rather belated Thursday snarkage that I just need to get off my chest. I fell asleep before the change-over last night, and had to rehearse tonight, so didn’t get to the Chron till late. Anyway:

    A3G: I can’t decide if Margo is reaching out to shake Luann’s hand, or to grab her by the throat and whisper menacingly, “I got a real sweet deal goin’ with this printmaker, see? Get on board if you don’t wanna be sleepin’ with the fishes tonight.”

    FW: In panel 1, Cory is clearly thinking to himself, “Man, I am hot when I smirk.”

    GA: Um…this strip made me laugh out loud, but in a weird, uncomfortable, confused way.

    JP: She took the phone call? SHE TOOK THE PHONE CALL??? *facepalm*

    MW: What a pair of selfish assholes. Please pardon my Anglo-Saxon.

    Spidey: So, looks like MJ has pretty much recovered from the tragic, shattering experience of having the Persuader give his life to save hers, dying in excruciating pain. Way to move through those stages of grief, MJ.

    PBS: Today’s PBS made me completely crack up, which was bad since I was in a crowded sushi bar at the time. And I’d already managed to drop a plate of sushi all over the booth next to me. Damned wobbly conveyor belt…Anyway, great strip.

    Lio: *wild applause* This strip just rocks in general.

    Oh, and yesterthread, bats :[ 125: LMAO!!! Awesome PSA. :D In fact, the snark in general has been stellar over the last few days. Luckily it doesn’t hurt to laugh anymore. :D

  158. kippetje2000
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    136, 142, 147
    Tunnel Vision – A disease suffered by proctologists.
    B.C. doesn’t miss the old Carson skits, he steals directly from them.

  159. True Fable
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    A3G *gasp!* Luann displayed Emotion AND touched Margo! Is she INSANE?!?
    Ballard Street Yes, I will just refer to this as BS from now on. I really really don’t like this strip, it’s just too fucking stupid for its own good. Not Goofy Stupid like MT or MW and not even Dense Stupid like Luann. It’s approaching Foob Stupid, and that is a serious charge in the Fable house.
    FC Billy, I’d like you to be A Lemming instead, at the next high cliff you come to.
    FBoFW Fuck you, Lynn Johnston.
    (WTF)GT It’s the Battle of the Ginormous Heads!
    JP If this sets up a scene from North by Northwest, I’m going to write Woody again and ask him to switch channels.
    Lola Heh, it’s a good one today.
    MT The bitch will choose to stay with the puppy, and the kid will run out to it, and they will end up snatching the kid instead. You saw it here first.
    MW Emergency Meddling.
    RMDS We Noe Thet! How Dew We Killit?! Forget it, Andy. Just have June do a Gratuitous Rack Display for them and get the hell out of there.
    SFx Bob Weber Jr., you left out the speed for a Fable: (f) 80 wpm!

  160. Poteet
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:15 am [Reply]


    RMMD — “And folks, ‘limiting contact’ means absolutely no sex! That’s Dr. Morgan’s strong recommendation, and he’s setting the example himself!”

    MW — I’ve changed my mind about Richard and Ronald. Their fightin’ poses are so entertaining that I’m glad they’re here. Keep glowering, boys!

    MT — I’m getting the distinct message that female dogs are Bad Dogs,trained to lure innocent male dogs to their doom. Maybe Princess should be tattooed with the letter “A.”

    GA — Never trust a man who changes his sweater every twenty minutes. I do like the itty-bitty cow and planet.

    Foob — Read April’s fifth-panel remark out loud. Now tell me a real human her age would say that.

  161. Poteet
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Wait a minute. Isn’t there a “colony” of MRSA in every person who has a MRSA infection? So is the plan to throw buckets of bleach on infected people and follow up with flame throwers?

  162. lostsynapse
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    Comics from the Future

    I for one am deeply troubled about the coming inter-kingdom love movement.

  163. Poteet
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    PBS — *applauds wildly, then genuflects*

  164. mollificent
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    And for Friday:

    A3G: Yessss!!! Hot girl-on-girl action! I love the look of horror on Gabriella’s face, too.

    Slylock: Now wait just a durned minute! How the hell can penguins go 22 mph on those stubby little feet? And sliding on their bellies doesn’t count! Wikipedia, here I come…

    NonSeq: Damn. I mean, I actually *agree* with Wiley, and I’m still finding this to be getting a little tiresome.

    Red & Rover: Nice silhouette work. It reminds me oddly of this computer game I had on my ancient Mac, “The Fool’s Errand”. Maddening puzzles with a tarot theme. Gawd, I wish they’d re-release that. :D

    Lio: He did it! He went there! Bravissimo! (Clearly, he knew better than to attempt the swimsuit, lest the Mudges rise up against him in revolt.)

  165. kippetje2000
    April 18th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    That’s Mary’s Pineal gland showing. She’s going to eat him…bite off his head …like a gingerbread man!
    Someone’s having a laugh with that arrow.

    Mary Worth and Meddleatonin:

    The pineal gland of antiquus biddy synthesizes and secretes meddleatonin, a structurally simple hormone that complicates information over an expanded period of time about the emotional lightening of the soul. Ultimately, meddleatonin has the ability to derail the physchological rhythms of others and has dangerous side-effects on the reproductive function of anyone in the vicinity. The fright-inducing ability of the pineal gland has led some to call the antiquus biddy the “third eye blind”.

  166. Diamond Joe
    April 18th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Wow! This could be the beginning of the greatest plotline ever!

    BabyB: It never occurred to me before today’s strip, but they’d almost have to be perpendicular to each other in order to kiss.

    Bizarro: “We’re making light of human rights abuses contravening international law, and it’s funny!”

    Cathy: Are there really companies that exclusively make food substitutes? I’ll bet the best-known brands are owned by larger companies. Or is the accountant talking about the expense of buying such products (which is what I’m guessing, based on the “Expense Summary” he’s holding), in which case “invested in” is grossly misapplied.

    Cleats: I’m sure there’s a way the middle panel could have been part of a really funny gag, but I’m not coming up with anything.

    CtH: Wow, that’s… kind of grotesque, actually.

    DT: “If he isn’t, I’ll just leave him here to rot.”

    DinS: You know, if you’re going to make a film title joke, it kind of behooves you to take five seconds and check if it’s a real title on IMDb. (The Man Who Knew Too Little is a 1997 film starring Bill Murray.) Oh, and I can’t see how the dialogue even qualifies as a joke, but that’s pretty common for this comic.

    GA: UCLA?! His sweatshirt kind of took a sudden turn for the plebian, didn’t it? Stanford, I could understand, but UCLA? (Apologies to alums of UCLA, but a public university is hardly elite.)

    GT: As others have pointed out, the use of Comic Sans makes the real strip look like a joke version with rewritten dialogue.

    HtH: Of course, it’s the dark ages, so he’ll be maimed for life, but it’s funny, right?

    Heathbar: Is it really wise for a cat to hang out with a bear? Especially a bear who’s after the same garbage?

    JP: You’ll have to provide the “WUM-WUM-WUM-WUM” sound effect as she runs by yourselves.

    Luann: Hands up for everyone who would give $10 to hear Ellie say this over at Foob.

    MF: Not to impugn Tinsley’s usually impeccable logic, but shouldn’t criticizing any kind of Republican be more difficult for a Republican than criticizing a Democrat?

    Quigmans: I’m finding teeth on an eagle very disturbing, somehow.

    RM: The first panel made me laugh more than anything else in the comics today. Maybe this week.

    RIR: Does the 45-degree angle in panel 2 accomplish anything besides making me a little seasick?

    SL: Wasteful?! If I found out a guy down the street was killing people, eating their hands, and throwing the rest away, I think “wasteful” would be pretty low on my list of feelings about the practice.

    Shoe: If you have to ask reporters if you have a chance of being in the cabinet, you pretty much don’t.

    SF: Ah, another day, another couple of animals sweating bullets at their horrible impending death.

    S-M: The proportionate lack of proportion of a spider!

    Tank: And it goes without saying that recent graduates of dicey offshore med schools are exactly who you’d want conducting your medical investigation.

    Ziggy: He must be playing against his television, because last I checked, you played computer chess using a graphical representation of a chessboard on the screen.

    Actually amused me: Garfield (although I don’t understand why they thought revealing Odie in the last panel was necessary), Rhymes with Orange

  167. Mibbitmaker
    April 18th, 2008 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    Thoughts about Friday:

    That which is consistantly funny as hell in modern comics are 4-fold:

    1) PBS
    2) GF
    3) Lio
    4) The very sight of Ricky & Ron in MW!


    Q: Is it wrong to want someone to knock Bruce Tinsley’s and Wiley Miller’s heads together like Moe?
    A: No.

    Drunk Duckie thinks McCain isn’t criticizing Democrats because the Senator isn’t beating them all to death with barbed-wire chains or something, while NS is so deep in left-wing cliched mudslinging that Wiley even made a Cheney hunting joke unfunny. That, alone, is a crime against humanity!

  168. Ed Power, writer of My Cage
    April 18th, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]


    Thanks for the kind words on the new font, and the contest art.

    Don’t worry. Max is our go to evil guy. Again, there’s a reason he’s red with pointed ears (mostly because I’m a fan of heavy-handed, plodding symbolism)




    Yep. Norm’s brother is a duck. So was his Mom. The way we’re doing it is if 2 different creatures have a kid, the kids can turn out to be either.


    Aaron Eckhardt as Max? LMAO! ‘In the Company of Men’ did rock!

    Since I’m insane, I do cast the voices for the My Cage cast in my head occasionally. In fact our fan group on myspace had a shortlived post on that topic.

    Since I’m an uber-geek, I dream cast everything.. old TV shows, movie re-makes, comic book adapataions, etc.

    OT: Anyone here want to cast their favorite strip or strips? I’d love to read them (again…’cause I’m a HUGE geek).

    Paul Giamatti and Joy Behar as the Lockhorns? Katherine Heigl and Jimmy Fallon as Blondie and Dagwood? Anyone? :)

  169. Mibbitmaker
    April 18th, 2008 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    A list of Friday comics snarks that probably won’t even come close to those of True Fable’s, commodorejohn’s, or Diamond Joe’s in quality, but I love writing them anyway:

    Agnes: That “judge” is even uglier than Ricky & Ron, but nowhere near as funny.

    A3G: Aw, c’mon, Gabby! Those two are way too chaste to be properly naughty in any way (unfortunately).

    FOOB: The Pattersonian fascist state is in full swing… but, somehow, ends today’s strip rather nicely.

    Garfield: Odie’s tongue is now as unnaturally, grossly ginormous as Garfield’s feet! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

    GT: Panel 2: good joke, terrible drawing. Panel 3: even rejected as bad clip art (not for lack of trying).

    MT: Princess the literal bitch is a femme fatale pedophile. Shouldn’t this be an underground comic? A Tijuana Doggie Bible?

    MW: I agree with Mary: John Walsh and an aged Sean Penn shouldn’t be fighting!

    Ghost-Who-[Put-Relevant-Joke-Here]: It’ll probably look like Dave Sim’s face if Hillary Clinton got elected president.

    Zits: Jeremy changes hairstyles as often as Gil Thorp changes artists!

  170. Jimmy
    April 18th, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    I’d hoped that Donna’s sons would turn out to be conjoined twins, but now I see that we’ve got to be satisfied with Click and Clack, the Car Talk brothers.

  171. Frank Parsnip
    April 18th, 2008 at 5:36 am [Reply]

    MW: Reading Mary Worth this past week has been stylistically similar to the brief interludes between naked scenes in porn movies. I keep thinking the music is going to start up any second now as she slips between them and says: “Hate isn’t as far away from love as most people think…”

    MT: Ah, the “trained” female dog? I didn’t realize “trained” was a euphemism for “in heat”.

    My Cage: I frankly enjoyed the moving scenes here far better than the extended horridness that was Mopey Pete’s move in Batiuk’s torturebox of a strip.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: Looking at panel 1, I think it was a very, very bad idea to put Count Olaf out there to speak for the hospital in such a delicate situation.

    Jugs Parker: We can only hope that they will extend Abbey’s running to include the full normal time that it usually takes for any action to occur in this strip. At that rate, it should take 5 weeks of Judge Parker strips for her to run back home in that sweater-and-riding-pants outfit. Views from the front, sides, back, above, below, and so on… just so long as we don’t get a nasal closeup.

    Lio: The genius continues … Mark Trail and his lightning fists and nice heels.

  172. gleeb
    April 18th, 2008 at 5:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: GASP. “Kissing? I knew it! Now, I’ll never have grandchildren!”

    ‘shaft: So much for the thrifty, child-of-the-Depression generation.

  173. Colonel O\'Popcorn
    April 18th, 2008 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth 4\17- I think the challenge is addressed not to Mr. Pink Shirt, but to Mary herself. I can’t decide which I’d rather see; Mary finally getting her ass kicked by someone tired of her meddling or Mary smearing some impertinent back-talker all over the parking lot.

  174. man behind the curtain
    April 18th, 2008 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    MW — It appears that the arrow thru Mary’s head has affected her memory. Mary. remember your prior conversation. Mrs. Amalfi will not be recovering.

  175. man behind the curtain
    April 18th, 2008 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    A3G — LuAnn kissing Margo. Do Alan and Eric know about this?

  176. mcmc
    April 18th, 2008 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    Oh man, Mary’s going to get punched in the nose! Twice! Please!

  177. lostsynapse
    April 18th, 2008 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    Lio: More information about plus sized high heels can be found on the internet.

  178. AhClem
    April 18th, 2008 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    GA – LightningCowSaturn!

  179. lostsynapse
    April 18th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    MT/Lio: So does this mean that the only thing separating masculinity from femininity is the beard? A beard represents a savage irrational deposition bent on committing violence. A clean face represents purity, valor, and a commitment to defending the downtrodden and helpless even if that means using violence against the violent species. All that is needed to perform a (psychological) sex change is a razor and some shaving cream.

  180. NotAGoatHead
    April 18th, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Cleats: Wow! Blast from the past notice. SHMOOS!

  181. Tweeks_Coffee
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    #168 – Ed Power: Thanks! I’d figured as much, but I just wanted to make sure. Also allow me a brown nose moment to say how much I liked the strips where his dad and brother came to visit. I particularly love Jeremy, feel free to bring him back anytime.

    Now, onto Friday’s comics…

    A3G: Well, it’s been nice knowing you, Luann.
    Archie: Considering you’re 50 or 60, you may want to consider saving some money.
    DT: So the suit of armor didn’t move in the time it took him to reload his crossbow? Okay, Mr. Lector deserves to die in whatever horrific manner Dick has in store for him.
    FOOB: Terrible. F. The poor girl’s doing homework, leave her alone for crying out loud!
    GT: Hmmm, Marty looks like he’s got some promise here. In fact, he looks kind of disheveled like he’s been up all night drinking.
    JP: Why is Abbey running in such a manner? She looks downright equestrian.
    MT: So not only do these people let their pets out without any kind of restrictions, but they let them out the front? What is wrong with these people!? Have they no common sense!?
    RwO: Facepalm worthy, but I was still amused.
    S-M: Holy crap, her eyes are melting! Do something you lack-luster hero!
    Zits: I hear you, Walt. I hear you.

  182. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    A3G: Gabriella’s “GASP!” indicates she’s thinking one of two things: either “Dios mio, no! I knew associating with these artsy types would turn my beloved daughter lesbian!” or, more likely, “Dios mio, no! Margo doesn’t like to be touched! This is going to be the St. Valentine’s Day massacre all over again!”

    C’Shaft: Geez, is there a factory outlet in that town that gives deep discounts on furniture upholstered with Robin Williams’ skin? Ewww.

    FC: Billy, you get to be a Lert by crossing the biggest road you can find. It may look scary, but if you close your eyes and just run right out there, you won’t be scared for long.

    GA: Lightning bull Saturn! I also call bull-Saturn on Sturdy wearing a shirt emblazoned with the name of a non-Ivy-League school. Before the end of this plotline, we’ll see him wearing one from DeVry.

    GA: Now we see how Marty Moon continues to get interviews with longtime nemesis Gil: He threatens to set his nose on fire with a Zippo lighter.

    JP: Run, Abbey, run! Oh, how I wish this strip were animated. In slow motion. Mmmm, Abbey running.

    Luann: No, Luann, because you’re a minor. This is really not that difficult a concept.

    MG&G: Papilla, I believe.

    NS: Fast turnaround on the Cheney “So?” reference.

    Jungle Patrol! In Color: Wow, not only did those women capture a wanted weapons smuggler, they stole a new truck for us, too! Way to go, gals! By the way, you’re under arrest for stealing a truck.

    SL: Isn’t that waiter also a shark? Hmm, I wonder if Sherman will be saved by the fact that he has Flaccid Fin Syndrome?

  183. John C Fremont
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    # 152 – John Woo?

    A3G – But how does all this effect Jack Davis, the printmaker Eric trusts?

    Lio – “Friend of animals! Lightning fists!” I love Lio!

    MT – Darn! I was hoping Mark would show up with a bow in his hair.

    MW – In the second panel, brown shirt guy becomes Angry Judge Parker, while red shirt guy works on his Karl Malden skills. And today it’s Mary’s turn to have that arrow stuck through her skull. It’s a good look for her.

    Phantom – Wait a minute. They’re still using that truck? Isn’t that stealing? Shouldn’t they be arresting each other?

    JP – Somebody PLEASE animate that last panel!

    GT – I have a feeling that the new Marty Moon is gonna be awesome!

  184. Drewbie421
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3G – Gosh, I wonder how long Lu Ann’s been wanting to do THAT!

  185. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    GA: Now that’s a weird swear. “Lightning! Cow! Saturn!”. The cow must indicate some sort of accent.

    RWO: OK, I’ll admit – I laughed at this one.

    FOOB: To reiterate what everyone else has said already – what a bitch! Elly should apoligize to April (as if that would ever happen).

    Baldo: My Spanglish is a little rusty, so I don’t get it. “Mas” is more, but what does the other part mean?

    Marmaduke: There is some heavy dirty symbolism going on here. I’ll leave the real snarkage to Joe Mathelete.

    MT: Princess is Bill’s long-lost mother (The dog thieves’ previous attempt at making money was breeding the golden to Snuffy Smith’s hound dog). Upon seeing her son, Princess grabs Bill by the nape of the neck and runs off over the horizon.

    They’ll head for Mutts, where dogs are treated more kindly and walked on leashes.

  186. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]


    GT: Well, the Elmer VArgas/Branden Zollar matchup could start a selective breeding program. It will take a few years to pan out, though.

    GA: Teeka comes up with the most beautiful cussword substitutes I’ve seen in some time. And yes, a Saturn is included.

    Marvin: You stay classy, Tom Armstrong.

    HtH: So you can still do domestic violence jokes as long as the husband is on the receiving end? Actually, it looks like Hagar won’t be able to go on any raids in the near future, so I’m looking forward to finding out about Viking disability insurance.

    A3G: Oh, no need to *GASP*, Gabriella. It’s just a forehead kiss. You may need glasses.

    H&J: “Oh, that man of mine.”

    FC: On second thought, Billy, you have special permission to run out in the street without looking.

    Baldo: Tia Carmen is the Latin Mary Worth.

    PreTeena: Now that the girls have gone on their little shopping trip, Gordo is free to… indulge his infanticide fantasies. That’s just swell.

    Big Dog: Marmaduke’s bone. Owner lady’s donut. There’s really nothing I can add.

  187. Dingo
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    If this Richard and Ronald melee doesn’t end with the two of them entangled naked in each other’s arms uttering words of passion while Mary Worth rends her garments, I will be nonplussed.

  188. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    #185 Loopina,
    I think pokito is a reference to “pequito”, Spanish for “little.”

  189. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    #188: Thanks, now it makes more sense. And definately a welcome change from the “I have no Impaaaala!” storyline.

  190. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Oooh, I forgot this one. Is there anyway today’s Lockhorns could be less relevant to an America that looks to be in mid-recession? Are Hoest and Reiner just cleaning out their drawers here?

  191. Onqelos
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Bootsy@13: “MW: Why does Rick/Ron have an arrow through his head? A Steve Martin homage, perhaps?”

    Actually, it’s a Dick Tracy pre-homage.

  192. Rebochan
    April 18th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Lio: You know, we don’t often see Mark Trail’s feet…perhaps this is why?

  193. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    #168 Ed Power,
    Yeah, I was thinking somewhere between that character and the one in “Thank You for Smoking.”
    I see one of your MySpace friends suggested Brian O’Halloran as Norm. That’s good, although I’d want to see a character for Jeff “Randal Graves” Anderson to balance things out.

    #169 Mibbitmaker,
    Don’t sell yourself short. That was some sharp snarking on MT.

  194. Chris
    April 18th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    MW – I think the invitation is directed to Mary, but I don’t think it’s an invitation to fight. The brothers are aggressive with each other, but I think also competitive, and brown-jacket is leaping to start their latest contest: the conquest of Mary.

    Brown-jacket is the rough, chauvinist type, rushing Mary out for a quick romp in the parking lot. Red-sweater is, as always, appalled by his brother’s loutish ways. He plan’s to ply Mary with his winning smirk and at least treat her to a reasonably priced dinner first.

    Little do they know, Mary’s been sporting a twins fantasy since she laid eyes on these two. Only a possibilty if she can somehow get them to reconcile.

  195. Mer
    April 18th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    I know this is totally off-topic, but I recall that a while back you were musing on the astonishing boobage of both Blondie and Daisy Mae. has started running Lil Abner from the beginning — somewhere in the early 30s — and Chic Young’s descendants have donated a few 1930s strips to the Library of Congress. What’s interesting about the early material is that both Blondie and Daisy Mae started out as fairly typical looking flappers — not at all your 50s style bombshell:

  196. NotAGoatHead
    April 18th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    #195 Mer says: Dang! What happened to Mammy Yokum? In later years she shrunk to half her size!

  197. Revenge of Chesnut
    April 18th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    #120 JB- Re: the invention of the wheelbarrow. The Chinese once again demonstrate their cultural superiority. At least according to Wikipedia (AKA source of all knowledge good and true).

  198. Paul1963
    April 18th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    #104, 113 re strips changing titles: Somewhere along the line, King Features finally changed the name of Thimble Theater to Popeye. That’s the name listed on the KFS website now.

    156 Niall: They’re called “quotation marks.” That’s an apostrophe in the contraction “they’re.” And yes, Billingsley throws them in unnecessarily (as in Derrick-and-”Onion”).

  199. Tweeks_Coffee
    April 18th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Also on the subject of strips changing titles; Piranha Club was Ernie until 1998. Apartment 3G used to be called “The Girls of Apartment 3G” and before that it was the familiar “Apartment 3G”.

  200. corinthian
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    I would normally think it to just be a bad color job that we’ve seen in Blondie before, but given his relaxed pose and how his feet are so close together, it looks like Dagwood is wearing a skirt. Blondie’s (tight leather) pants have their legs clearly distinguished, but not so with Dagwood. He is visibly relaxed at the newfound freedom and air flow, yet simultaneously aware of the potential indecency, and keeps his legs crossed. Blondie expresses surprise not only at Dagwood’s comment, but that he has been in her closet AND that he’s the same size as her.

  201. Jeff
    April 18th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    I used to read Batman comics as a kid and Graham Nolan (the Nolan in Rex Morgan) illustrated them. He was good! I’m kind of sad to find him on Rex Morgan, I hope he’s getting a good paycheck.

  202. the houseanarkist
    April 18th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Sure, pick on the scandinavian marrigearagements whydontya.
    Yer time will come mark my words. The age of the norsmen vikings is not long gone. It is just resting, waiting for the right time to strike.

  203. Mark
    April 20th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    #195 – It’s amazing how Blondie and Daisy Mae’s propostions and their overall looks changed over the years. I guess they were pretty much drawn as the feminine ideal of their times. I’m so glad Blondie got stuck in the 50s, though. Those G cups of hers are the greatest.

  204. Pinokeyo's Wife
    April 22nd, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    Looks like Blondie’s got one of those Omen spikes above her.

  205. Kathy Baka
    April 7th, 2009 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Kathy Baka on Being new to blogging I’m always looking for tips from veteran bloggers. Thanks. (lets be friends on twitter )If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.Napoleon Hill

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