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Sounds like a plan

Phantom, 11/10/12

OK, stay with me here. The “panic to keep the modern world at bay” is a bunch of pissy Llongo elders’ plan to undercut their hot queen’s rare-earth mining deal with a story about a vengeful immortal lioness who protects the tribe’s sacred land. The plan requires hardworking Llongo warriors to secretly release a captured lioness near the village, publicly kill her, privately dispose of the carcass, and then go find a matching replacement lioness — repeating the cycle to keep the “immortality” myth going until either they run out of lionesses or the queen relents and shuts down the mine.

The miners’ ace counterplan is to lock the corpse of the next-to-die lioness in a cage, confronting the tricksy elders with steamy, maggot-infested proof of their bad faith, and breaking the cycle. Despite the toll on the poor decomposing lioness, the Phantom is apparently cool with this, since he doesn’t want anybody horning in on his family’s own long-running “mammal-who-can-never-die” scam.

PS. To Wambesi terrorist and Phantom arch-nemesis Chatu “The Python”: before your next attempt on the Phantom’s life, buy a nice strong cage, and maybe some air freshener.

PPS. Have I mentioned how much I like saying “lioness”? No? Lioness, lioness, lioness …

Gasoline Alley, 11/10/12

Despite appearances, this isn’t yet another tiresome “bullying is bad” lesson-comic. Boog’s helicopter mom Clovia smothers him in glurgy mash-notes and three-cupcake lunches to stupefy and fatten him into the image of his father, idiot-whale Slim Skinner. But these three young heroes will have none of it, bravely staging an intervention to keep their pal tough and slender.

Hey, grotesquely-drawn moppets gotta stick together, am I right?

Update — Boog’s mom is Hoogie, not Clovia, and Slim is his grandfather. Other than that, the story was accurate!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/10/12

Did you know that tomorrow is Veterans Day in the U.S.? Snuffy Smith does! And he has every right to join that parade, since he not only shares the nickname of a genuine WWII Army hero, but served in the Army his ownself:

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/24/1941 (panel, courtesy of The Comics Journal)

So what explains Snuffy’s descent from stalwart Defender of Democracy in the 1940′s to the shif’less no-’count skonk we know and love today? The world’s longest-running case of PTSD? Bone laziness? My money, as always, is on the likker.


Hi there, I’m sitting in for Josh until Sunday, November 18th. You can contact me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net to report any site or comment issues. You can still reach Josh at bio@jfruh.com, but expect sloth-related delays.

– Uncle Lumpy

105 responses to “Sounds like a plan”

  1. jnik
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    GA: I know I haven’t read gasoline Alley for some time, but i thought Boog was Slim’s GRANDSON!

  2. Harold
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    “Smith was assigned to KP duty the week that he was awarded the Medal of Honor as punishment for arriving late to a briefing.” – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maynard_Harrison_Smith#Medal_of_Honor_action

    That’s an amazing story. And this little detail suggests that it might just be the same guy. Perhaps his later indolence came from the hard-learned lesson that heroism means nothing in the face of petty expectations.

  3. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    @jnik (#1):

    Oh Lordy, Walt, Skeezix, Slim, Rover, Boog — why the hell don’t these people ever die?

  4. Faoladh
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    I know that Gasoline Alley was supposed to be in something like real time. So why is Boog still a child, and why is one of his bullies Alfred E. Newman? I blame the cigarette smoking.

  5. Johann Sebastian Cock
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    All right, I steadfastly refuse to learn any part of the Gasoline Alley Mythos, so somebody will have to please tell me. Is Booger Boy blind? The product of a union between Clovia and an insectile alien? A hellish void in the universe incompletely covered by a boy skin? WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS EYES!?!

  6. Rev. Syung Myung Me
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    …wait, that ugly freak kid’s name IS Booger? That’s… well, I guess he’s from the same family who named a kid Rover, but…

    …it’s… BOOGER BOY!

    OH DAD, WE’RE ALL GASOLINE ALLEY.

  7. Jumbo37364
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    I wonder if there’s other reason he’s called Booger Boy…

    Oh and they need to bring back Barney Google

  8. Alison
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    “Gasoline Alley”: Those look more like bran muffins than cupcakes. What kind of children are eager to steal bran muffins? Also, that bully in blue in the first panel has an enormous mutant ear.

    I tried to go look up today’s “Mary Worth” and found my computer will not load the site. I’m not sure if the site itself is having a technical glitch or if my computer has finally decided to put it’s foot down and refuse to let me use it to read MW anymore.

  9. jnik
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#3):

    That’s the only reason I DID read the strip years ago; to see if anyone would die in the storyline. Walt’s still here, but his wife did pass away about a decade ago. And it’s been established that Skinflint Pert finally bought it. I saw the tombstones of Nina’s parents on their farm years ago.
    So that takes care of the WWI generation, except for Walt. At this rate, Skeezix should live to the year 2100!

  10. Tom
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    GA: The real villains here aren’t the bullies but rather Boog’s parents for naming him Boog. They really didn’t think that one through, did they?

  11. Mr Frog
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:52 am [Reply]

    Brrr, that first panel of Gasoline Alley gives me the willies. The abyss, it stares back!
    The fact that Boog’s* assailants all have standard-issue beady cartoon eyes as opposed to oily black pools of manifest darkness just makes it worse.

    *Is ‘Boog’ actually the kid’s name? Please tell me the kid is not actually named ‘Boog’. ‘Boog’ sounds like something my aunt’s dog would spit up.

  12. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:08 am [Reply]

    @Faoladh (#4) said: “I know that Gasoline Alley was supposed to be in something like real time. So why is Boog still a child, and why is one of his bullies Alfred E. Newman? I blame the cigarette smoking.”

    Normally, I would never bully anyone, but c’mon, his name is BOOGER. With a name like that, he begs, nay, he demands to be bullied. To refrain would be disappointing to him, like telling a masochist “No, I won’t hurt you”. Now we can’t have that, can we?
    I do feel bad about the cupcake, though.

  13. Curm
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    I’m worried. I actually laughed at Beetle freaking Bailey.

    It has been said the mind’s the first thing to go…

  14. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#Y15): Did you know both “slivovitz” and “ganja” are in my browser’s dictionary?

    Your browser knows you well, apparently.

  15. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    @Curm (#13): It has been said the mind’s the first thing to go…

    No, no. That’s not the first thing. The first thing to go is, wait, on the tip of my tongue… pfui.

    // It’ll come to me.

  16. Liam
    November 10th, 2012 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    FW-You still haven’t answered my question to why this stuff isn’t funny. It’s all dark and grim and serious.

    FW 2-And thus ends our history of comics. Just us Monday as a new story starts.

    MW-”And by ‘walk’ I mean ‘have sex’.”

    A3G-”I’m crawling into bed with Aunty Cathy.”

  17. Baka Gaijin
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    Spidey, next time you’re web-swinging past a Duane Reade, pop into for a bottle of Midol. Your PMS is showing.

    I call Shenanigans on Pluggers. There is no way a real Plugger is going to haul his lazy fat ass across 8 holes when he can ride in a cart for 19.

  18. pugfuggly
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Phantom Instead of coming up with a ridiculous ‘immortal lion’ story, why don’t the Llongo elders just emphasize the fact that there’s an unbalanced white man roaming around the area in a purple suit, doling out jungle justice to anyone he deems unworthy. I mean, you can get insurance against animal attacks, but weirdo attacks…?

    BG&SS I’m not too familiar with the US armed forces, so tell me: which division wears hip-waders and condom hats?

  19. TheRealAaron
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    MW: That first panel feels like the setup to a “yo mama”-style joke.

    “Not to suggest the meal was heavy… but when the leftovers sit around the refrigerator, they really sit around the refrigerator!”

  20. Droopy Says
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#18): Snuffy Smith looks like he’s wearing a doughboy uniform. We were using the pie plate helmet as late as 1942, but I’m guessing he’s supposed to be a WW I veteran.

  21. gleeb
    November 10th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: The captaincy of a bowling team. That’s the petty price of covering up attempted murder. In Ohio, Life is cheap.

    ‘bean: So, Batiuk knows anyone who has been reading this thinks it is an absurd lecture. He cares not! And he thinks this not only proves his point, but is important to add. Anyway, granny-cheatin’ John’s shop has the word “comics” (well, OK, “komix”) in its name, so his annoyance at the word’s use is absurd and obtuse. Funniest thing I’ll encounter all day.

    Mary: “Not to suggest the meal was heavy, but the gravy has glued the napkin to my fists.”

    Dick: Remember, kids, Sam Catchem always says, “When preventing fires, always keep smoking.”

    Thimble Theater: Popeye’s prospective father-in-law sure has taken a shine to him. And he sure is keen on spunk.

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 10th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    A&J: nice meta. bit of a rebuttal to the “Steve Jobs has ruined cartooning” rant.

    Lio: try flinging them.

    R&R: d’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    JUMBLE: mmmmmmmmmmmm, twins.

    PMP: /facepalm.

    Pluggers: too cheap to get a caddy.

    SFx: beaver.

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 10th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .facials.

  24. Esther Blodgett
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    FW: I’m sure there is a way this patronizing lecture could have been presented as an entertaining, breezy lesson in pop-culture history. I’m equally sure that never occurred to Batuik for one second.

    GF: This morning Precocious Daughter opined that Darby Conley must be dead. As good a reason for the endless repeats as any, I guess. It works for Schulz.

    JP: Is this really Day 3 of “Bubba hands Avery a flash drive”? Over at Dilbert, Wally bows down in respect to the masters of doing nothing over a long period of time.

  25. Terry in Maryland
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    MT: Can Mark REALLY take care of himself? The moose are concerned.

  26. sporknpork
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Oh god, Snuffy’ come-hither eyes! No!

  27. comicsgrl
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    GA: Wasn’t Boog still a toddler just about a year ago? When did he morph into an 8yo kid?

  28. LP2004
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MT: So now the cabin at Lost Forest is surrounded by 200-year-old trees with moose wandering by. The place sure gets around a lot. Did the hut of the Baba Yaga emigrate to America and get hired as Mark Trail’s home?

  29. Mibbitmaker
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Phantom, meta:
    …..Lioness…… lioness……..
    Nope, not doing a thing for me. Oh, well, we all have our issues…. I guess…..
    Oh, and — potrzebie

    GA: Nope, they’re bullies, alright. Okay, now which one is named “Onion”…?

    (BG&)SS: Just how old IS Snuffy, anyway?
    I have the BG&SS book by Kitchen Sink Press, which has a number of WWII strips in it. It also has in it why the less trite Google era with it’s engaging storytelling, humor, neat line shading/crosshatching, and Sparkplug is far more desirable than cheap hillbilly gags.

  30. seismic-2
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    GA: Boog’s parents (who are Slim and Clovia Skinner’s adopted son and his wife) are Rover and Hoogie Bump. His Dad was named “Rover” and raised as a dog by his biological parents, Gus and Beulah Bump, who lived in the dump. Boog’s Mom is the former Hoogie Boogle, daughter of Boog and Clara Boogle, who I believe were part of that same community. I don’t know whether young Boog gouged his eyes out as an infant, but under the circumstances, it would be understandable if he did.

    SS&BG: Private Snuffy Smith is the veteran of at least one World War on behalf of the US Government as well as countless whiskey rebellions against it.

  31. Señor Tortilla
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    JP: So Avery isn’t a fraud (apparently), or being hacked to death by chainsaws. Remember when it looked like he would plunge to his death? Remember that?

    Luann: Why are all the guys weird and emasculated? Why the heck does Gunther have a perm?

    FC: …is Billy pregnant?

  32. Mibbitmaker
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#31): Gasoline Alley is quite like an Icelandic saga, isn’t it?[/Python]

  33. TheDiva
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Wow, is that what’s been going on in Phantom? I really need to start reading it–the “lionesses are all carbon copies of each other so nobody will be able to tell they’re not the same” is a level of cracked-out thinking that makes Mark Trail look like a sober nature documentary.

    C’shaft: And so, by capping off Crankshaft’s reckless endangerment with the ever-unpopular “Ha-ha, Lena sure can’t bowl!” gag, the strip reaches its maximum annoyance potential.

    FW: “And that is why comics don’t need to be funny! Or entertaining, clever, well-written, carefully drawn…”

    Luann: So, in conclusion: it’s important to be a gentleman, because it shows respect and is nice and stuff. Oh, and you can totally check out a woman’s ass that way.

    MW: Yes, Wilbur, Lord knows you wouldn’t want to ruin your girlish figure.

    SM: Give it up, Spidey. Inept, lazy, dithering nice guys always finish last.

  34. pugfuggly
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#20):

    Ah, that makes sense. I was thrown off by the WWII panel below it…

    Saturday morning curiosity drove me to look up the wiki on the term ‘doughboys’, and I was surprised to find out that its etymology doesn’t seem to be that clear:

    An often cited explanation is that the term first came about during the Mexican–American War, after observers noticed U.S. infantry forces were constantly covered with chalky dust from marching through the dry terrain of northern Mexico, giving the men the appearance of unbaked dough.[5] Another suggestion also arises from the Mexican–American War, and the dust-covered infantry men resembled the commonly used mud bricks of the area known as adobes.[5] Another suggestion is that doughboys were so named because of their method of cooking field rations of the 1840s and 1850s, usually doughy flour and rice concoctions baked in the ashes of a camp fire, although this does not explain why only infantryman received the appellation.[5]

    So there you go: some Veteran’s/Remembrance/Armistice Day trivia for you.

  35. Mibbitmaker
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Archie: Oh, c’mon, Jughead! Just because Archie is ‘whipped’ doesn’t mean you should spit on him! Yikes!

    A&J: Meta win!

    Curtis: Besides the fact that raping a woman would be far worse than lying to her, she has a good point. However, so does Curtis. And his dad…. Hey! Jughead! Stop spitting on Curtis’s dad!!

    FW: What “I rest my case”? That kid’s absolutely right, and it’s not that they’re mindlessly calling comics inherently funny, you self-important jackass (meaning Batty)!

    JP: Gotta say this for Bea, the woman knows how to make an entrance!

    Lio: Calling Al Jaffee! Calling Al Jaffee…!

    RMMD: ….and Rex will haaaaaaate it! [Craig Ferguson squint-eyed, shoulder-shruging gleeful giggle expression]

  36. Droopy Says
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#35): Other explanations for “doughboy” are that the buttons on some uniforms in the Mexican-American War (or Civil War) looked like lumps of bread dough. One source says it goes back to the 1600s and has to do with the dumplings some soldiers cooked. And the word may have sprung up independently in 1917, based on the popularity of doughnuts. Given the quality of food in the AEF (seriously, you never want to try Army ghoulash) it’s not surprising that there’s a food obsession here.

  37. debussy fields
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    MT– If Lost Forest is to live up to its name, one of these times when Mark goes off on an adventure he won’t be able to find it again when he wants to come back.

  38. NoahSnark
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Yes, snatch the cupcakes from the child with the dark ink eyes. Enjoy the sweet frosting and the moist delicious cake. Ignore the slightly off taste and the sensation of something crawling down your throat. Now – who has seen the movie Alien?

  39. Calico
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Nov. 11 is also Rememberance Day in Canada. I’m wearing the poppy for a few days.

  40. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet (#14): Pastor’s had his fun. Though admittedly I was never much of a fan of the wacky tobacky.

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    ikkle pitties.

    heartwarming sea turtle.

    there’s something familiar about this.

    Star Sapphire cosplay. (Most Common Superpower on display.)

    Snack Attack win.

    otter hits the high note.

    Mab the merle.

    cardsqui. *floofybrainmush*

  42. Fashion Police
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    We are certainly intrigued by Miss Windwood’s (perhaps we are hasty in presuming spinsterhood, but we think not) white-on-white ensemble. We suspect that playing the fairy princess in the school play when she was six was her life’s defining moment.

  43. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    They have moose in south Georgia?

  44. parcheesi
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Isn’t Lioness the kid from Peanuts with the blanket?

  45. Lenoxus
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Zoop!

  46. commodorejohn
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    If you name your kid “Boog,” haven’t you basically doomed him right out of the gate? Hell, they might as well have just pre-beaten him before he even arrived at school.

  47. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G–Evan is knocking boots with every woman in that strip, including “Aunt” Cathy–who just might be the comic strip Cathy of Cathy fame. She is just kind of older, greyer and slender, and, according to Evan, she’s also colder.

    Again, poor Nina Nola Margo. Why does this A-List, Go-Getter get double-crossed by that shlump of a meshugenah? Feh!

  48. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    The kid’s named Boog. His mom is named Hoogie. His dad is Rover, whose (adopted) dad is a fat guy named Slim, whose father-in-law is named Skeezix. Boy, the naming-your-kid-a-stupid-name sins of the fathers carry on for generations in Gasoline Alley, don’t they?

    Gasoline Alley Family Tree, for your edification. Or further confusion.

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/JIM-SCANCARELLI-AUTOGRAPH-GASOLINE-ALLEY-WALLET-FAMILY-TREE-COMIC-STRIP-SHEET-/230789478487

  49. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: You’d think there would be a divine intervention that would lift people’s wallets and purses, wouldn’t ya?

    Family Circus: After reading this, I laughed so hard that I had to check myself into an asylum. So, let’s hope these rubber walls don’t interfere with the wifi.

    Crazy McGillicutty: (technically not a comic strip, just some guy who’s wearing straight slacks and a straight jacket).

    Haha!. Good one, McGillicutty! That’s a great imitation of being captured by Spider-Man! Don’t hang upside down too long though. Ha. Even better! Those orderlies can’t stand up to your headbutts, just like Spider-Man is under-qualified for Superhero work. So true. So true.

    Sigh.

    Why did today’s Family Circus need to be so funny? I’m not sure if they’ll let me leave after I checked in. This could be a long day.

  50. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Vinnie Beaverino, a guest character in Slylock Fox’s House of Mirrors

    So, which Vinnie has the pot of spaghetti that smells like cedar?
    Challenging.

    Wilbo Snackins going on a quest to maintain his girlish figure.

    Wilbo, Wilbo Snackins, he’s got the greatest habit of them all.
    He and Dawn will stroll along, and see Mary Meddler on her scooter.
    Wilbo will stop and say, I’ll meet you later and exercise your cooter.
    Wilbo, Wilbo Snackins, he’s got the greatest habit of them all.

    Okay. Thank Goodness. After explaining that I was leaving, and being denied, it turns out all I needed to do was convince the doctors that my stay was temporary, just something to do. They didn’t think it was advisable, and then showed them the last three months of Funky Winkerbean. They agree, I’m pretty darn sane. But, prescribed some medication anyhow, so that reading three months of Funky Winkerbean doesn’t have any additional effects.

    BTW, Dick Tracy, today…it is okay. You don’t often see people passed out in comic strips. It is usually people just passing by and ignoring comic strips.

  51. Baka Gaijin
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#48): Someone thinks there’s someone somewhere in the world who’d pay half a C-note for the family tree of a comic strip. It warms my heart to see such innocence in the world.

  52. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers:

    That doesn’t make sense. If the rhino-man is going golfing, isn’t carrying the club sack par for the course? If not he himself, having a caddy do it is normal?

    It just seems like maybe the reader suggestion was mis-interpreted. Unless the reader meant his “project” involves transporting bushels of Rhino horns to be sold as aphrodisiacs. Where he would get those is anyone’s (gruesome) guess.

  53. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    //gah! today’s comics suck the suck fantastic.

  54. Liam
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    FC-Mommy, does this shirt make me look pregnant?

    MT-Don’t worry. We’ll send the giant animals to recuse him.

    MW-”I always find Mary’s color changing lumps with bacon to be heavy on the calories.”

  55. Liam
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-I like to think that Snuffy is the sort of person who would fight on the German’s side. He got turned around in the middle of a battle and accidentally joined the German’s side.

  56. Calico
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#48):
    Just sounds like ramdon bodily fluids and whatnot. Ugh.

  57. bats :[
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

  58. seismic-2
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#46): Probably any kid named “Boog” is basically a target for a beating, unless he shows signs of the physical development that will eventually make him a 6’4″ 240-lb power hitter, in which case the playground bullies probably leave him the hell alone.

  59. LoFoMoFo
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: Gravity will not be kind to Bea.

  60. greghousesgf
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Curtis– there are lots of women who don’t do any of that stuff.

  61. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    GA: Somehow the bullies can say “booger” and “cupcakes” in the same sentence without killing their own appetites.

    Ziggy: Not pictured: man in blood-spattered overalls following Ziggy with a hunting knife.

    FW: What does history say about small businessmen who treat their customers with open disdain, John?

    BSt: Excerpts from a very grim, somewhat silly, police blotter.

    JP: As Raymond Chandler said, “When in doubt have a woman come through the door with a couple of cannons on her chest.”

    RMMD: And if Rex doesn’t want to come to the party, they can just prop up a cardboard cutout. No one will be able to tell the difference, and that includes June.

    H&L: When I picture the kind of person who would keep a coffin around the house as a whimsical memento mori, I have to say that Thirsty doesn’t come to mind.

    DT: “Ho-hum. You want to put a couple of bullets in his head just to be safe?”
    “We got nothing better to do.”

    GT: “In much the same way that I’m getting through to you now.”
    “Uh, I’m not sure I…”

    DtM: Young Dennis determines at that very moment to attend theology school when he grows up.

    Luann: You know, I’d have been in more sympathy with this whole “gentleman” theme week if Knute had revealed guyish motives earlier on.

    M-Dawg: The aliens’ attempt to probe Marmaduke will end badly when they learn he has tiny demons guarding the relevant orifice.

    H&J: They paved over Jamaal and they put up a parking lot.

    A3G: How sad. Margo is falling for an employee who’s just using her, and he’s not into her at all. On the bright side she can throw a dead cat—and you know she must have a supply—and find someone just like him.

  62. Baka Gaijin
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @LoFoMoFo (#59): Gravity will not be kind to Boog. Constantly being tripped or thrown to the ground can’t be good on a spinal column.

  63. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#33): So you don’t think Spidey has the proportional cockblocking powers of a spider? We’ll find out, I guess.

  64. bluepencil
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: So Wilbur and Dawn are headed out for a postprandial walk — down by the pier, perhaps? (cue threatening music: dunh dunh DUNHHHHHHHHHH)

  65. Alte Ziege
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @bluepencil (#64): Wilbur is being set up for the big one. He’ll be in an ambulance by week’s end.

  66. Jamus The Bartender
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Wow. I really should have seen that one coming. Well played, Knute, well played.

    Sally Forth: Do as you’re told, Hillary.

    reFOOB: I think John smoked a lot of pot in school.

    MW: That’s nice. Go for a walk. Then after a block or so, you can go get yourself a nice sandwich.

  67. Poteet
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Phantom — Probably it’s good that I don’t follow Stripey Butt anymore, because otherwise I might have already pointed out at pedantic and painful length that rare-earth mining is traditionally one of the most environmentally-destructive kinds of mining, which is one reason so much of it is done in China. But even China is starting to decide that enough destruction is enough, which is one reason rare earth prices have been rising. Anyway, I assume that the environmental issues have been completely absent from this storyline and that the focus has been solely on whether or not female lions can be immortal. Of course serial lioness-killing could potentially also count as a conservation issue, but never mind, I’m done.

  68. Chaze
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone besides me think The Big Bang Theory was particularly disturbing this week? Penny pumps two Long Island Ice Teas into an unknowing Sheldon and its supposed to be funny? Isn’t that actually criminal?

    I stand up for Sheldon because he loves Flash #123, as do I, and if he were real, he’d be a mudge.

  69. Poteet
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    GA — The mash notes may become superfluous if the bullies ever find out about the parents named Rover and Hoogie (and I had successfully forgotten those names, and being reminded of them by The Return Of Boog is no joy). But it also seems to me that the three bullies look sort of the way kids looked when I was in grade school, what with the hair and clothes and all, and that, along with Boog’s ghastly eyes, is just wrong.

  70. Poteet
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#68): I stand up for Big Bang in general, though in my extremely biased opinion, it seriously needs a field biologist as a new regular. Offhand I’d vote for a botanist, but any kind of underpaid overworked insanely-enthused field biologist would do.

  71. Chaze
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#70):
    I’m okay with that, Poteet. As long as it means, “Adios, Amy Farrah Fowler.”

  72. This Guy
    November 10th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Don’t it always seem to go that Bentley uses a padded-out quote instead of writing a strip?

    // And fucking hell, “songstress Joni Mitchell”? Nobody would even say that phrase out loud, let alone think it to themselves. Does she need to remind herself who Joni Mitchell is periodically?

    Momma: The men come a-runnin’ for a lady with a garbage-can lid on her head.

    Ziggy continues his long, grim slide into bleak despair. Critics call it “The feel-good comic of the season!”

  73. Anachrosaurus
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: I’m still confused by Bubba’s coloring… Is it just a (marijuana) farmer’s tan, or (as his features in today’s strip seem to suggest) his Native American blood? Eureka!… But–Native Americans can’t grow beards… Oh, snap.

  74. Horace Broon
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#33):
    That’s what it appears is going on in Phantom. I still predict that next week we’ll get the revelation that, somehow, the miners are the bad guys after all.

  75. Dale
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#68):

    Sheldon and, in way, Jeremy Zitbrain are smart enough to know they’re being assholes, but they refuse to stop. There is literary precedent for putting them in boxes and selling them (maybe not for the same purpose).

  76. Mars
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    Hoy……if you don’t want your child picked on, don’t give him a name that is two-thirds of the word “Booger.”

  77. seismic-2
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Did Kit ever reach a conclusion about why the lioness (whether it is the same or multiple lionesses) was threatening the village instead of hunting in its normal range in the lands around the planned mine site? Are the hunters from the mining company responsible for driving it away, or is something more sinister going on there that the lions know to stay away from? (Or did I completely misunderstand that part of this story arc? I must confess that I have devoted very little time to analyzing the plot recently, choosing instead simply to wait for the Lucha Libre wrestling to break out.)

  78. Steve
    November 10th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: In which Curtis pays homage to his favorite actor-director. “What’s that, Dad? I can’t tell Mom to do that to herself!” he says to the empty chair.

    RMMD: In which Honey may be overestimating her skills as an exotic dancer. Or maybe it’s just a very small beach.

  79. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    FW— As comic book guy blathers on about repeating history, we see a repeat Les, a repeat Funky, and a repeat Crazy. I guess that’s appropriate, as this strip causes many of its readers’ meals to repeat.

  80. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#77):

    No, as far as I can tell, “Why does she hunt near the village?” is still in play.

  81. un malpaso
    November 10th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Since the “Smif” home is pretty self-sufficient, I assume all of Snuffy’s VA checks go straight to the operating budget for the meth lab.

    And while we’re on the subject of backwoods yokels with unfortunate names, “Boog” really should be worrying less about obesity and more about whatever disease causes Black Beady-Eye Syndrome. (I think it’s called Keane’s Disease. Not the other Keane’s Disease, which is just clinical shorthand for hydrocephalus.)

  82. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    I just had a dream where a character named Nehemiah Scudder had a horse called Petraeus and was having an illicit affair with some woman who might or might not have been my biographer.

    No. I am not making this up. Sorry, Nehemiah old boy.

  83. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Oh and it was all happening in a Big Brother style house.

    Man. I need to get ny brain aired out…

  84. Austria
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    So I’ve been thinking long and hard about yesterday’s Funky Cancercancer, and I really think we may have a goldmine of humor on our hands. My proposal is this: We take the speech bubble from the last panel of yesterday’s strip, and we shop it into other Funky Winkerbean strips. Like so:
    http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s229/Aangfish/Comics%20Curmudgeon/hidebound1.png
    http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s229/Aangfish/Comics%20Curmudgeon/hidebound2.png

  85. UncleJeff
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Given Knute’s previously shown obsession with bathrooms, I wonder if the original version of the strip really said Knute likes the way Crystal “sits”.

  86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 10th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    after a mention in QC, I did an archive binge on Between Failures. I’m guessing that Wesley had an anxiety closet as a kid, and Friday’s strip is a perfect example of Ship Tease.

  87. Chaze
    November 10th, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#75):
    I understand Sheldon has issues. That does not excuse Penny giving him two extremely volatile Long Island Ice Teas when she knows he doesn’t drink and would not be ready for the consequences. There is no humor in that.

    Humor vacated the Amy Farrah Fowler character long, long ago. So, her being an asshole to Will Wheaton was par for the course. Still, I wish they would kill her.

  88. Chance
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    I love Snuffy’s idiot bafflement in the 1941 panel. The three ?’s emanating from his puzzled, slightly annoyed face indicate that he’s not angry at being mocked, but that he’s gradually beginning to get the vague idea that someone may be making fun in his direction.

  89. tallyHO
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    About Snuffy Smif in today’s Special:

    Weezy is at a loss for how to respond to him in panel one. But, by the end she knows she can only say one thing, and that is to respect him for his service in the army.

    What was she going to say?

  90. I speak Jive
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#52): A Plugger would never have a caddy. He’d have to tip him, and Pluggers don’t tip.

    @Chaze (#71): @Chaze (#87): I think the Amy Farrah Fowler character is all right, but I am so happy that they got rid of Priya. I hated that bitch.

    RWO – This reminded me of a story NPR ran on April 1 several years ago, which reported that the Boston Celtics were changing the pronunciation from “selticks” to “kelticks.”

  91. Poteet
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    S-M — How does Kraven manage his bathroom business in that ridiculous outfit? Or does he just squat on the ground outdoors? Blech.

  92. Sgt. Stoned
    November 10th, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy saved the Free World during WWII. Why should he ever have to work again?

  93. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    No, really, Snuffy: what’s so hilarious about joining the Navy?

  94. Droopy Says
    November 11th, 2012 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses (#93): It’s a comment on interservice rivalry. Remember that this panel was done several months before we entered WW II. The two branches of the service were seldom on speaking terms, and they cooperated more closely with the annual Army-Navy football game than they did with such things as, say, the defense arrangements for Pearl Harbor.

  95. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 11th, 2012 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#24): FW: More about comics can be found on the internet!

    //In briefer, more entertaining form, too.

  96. Girl Reporter
    November 11th, 2012 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    GABLEHAUSER: Hello, boys.
    RAJ: Dr. Gablehauser.
    GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Koothrappali.
    LEONARD: Dr. Gablehauser.
    GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Hofstadter.
    SHELDON: Dr. Gablehauser.
    GABLEHAUSER: Dr. Cooper.
    HOWARD: Dr. Gablehauser.
    GABLEHAUSER : Mr. Wolowitz

  97. Girl Reporter
    November 11th, 2012 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    Sheldon: This would go a lot faster if you put your trade school diploma to work and helped me set up this high frequency tone generator.

    Howard: I have a Masters degree from M.I.T.

    Sheldon: Yeah, but you’ve got a can-do attitude and that’s what’s important.

  98. Girl Reporter
    November 11th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    My math-anxious self sure does love me some Big Bang Theory.

  99. Anonymous
    November 11th, 2012 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#82): “You can be in my dreams if I can be yours.” Bob Dylan, Talkin’ WWIII Blues.

  100. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 11th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#99): Install a new distro of Linux, and your cookies all go to hell. Who’d a thunk it?

  101. commodorejohn
    November 11th, 2012 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100): Indeed – usually it’s the whole system that goes to hell…

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 11th, 2012 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#101): It went pretty well, this time. Installed FUDUNTU (a Fedora/Ubuntu unholy mix) on an eight YO COMPAQ laptop with some hardware issues. Almost everything worked right, to my utter astonishment.

  103. Ukulele Ike
    November 11th, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    @Anachrosaurus (#73): You know what’s been bugging ME about the last few months of JP? The mental image of Bubba and his minions getting up every morning and carefully shaving their cheeks.

    Look at ‘em! Dirty pot-growing hippies! Yet they carefully tend their Van Dykes on a regular basis!

  104. hogenmogen
    November 12th, 2012 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Snuffy: Yeah, strap on a grenade belt, and I’d say you look better than George Clooney in a tux. At least until you’re out of throwing range.

  105. matt
    November 12th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Excuse me Uncle Lumpy. Way too late on this, but Snuffy served in the Navy and not the Army as you mention. Thanks.

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