I accuse my parents’ neighbors
Judge Parker, 4/27/08
Well, it’s been a few months since Sophie stopped being a pantsuit-wearing prematurely aged prepubescent and became a belly-baring tweenage fashion plate, and, heck, I guess that’s the sort of thing you expect from a girl that age. What’s much sadder is her transformation from a borderline-Asperger case, tethered to her laptop and constantly crunching climate change data, to someone who has fully bought into junior high’s draconian rules of social conformity. “Hey, Mr. Dickens is a weirdo! And everyone knows that people who deviate even slightly from the norm don’t deserve privacy or civil rights!”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/27/08
We can already see the contours of the upcoming Rex Morgan storyline: the noble bureaucrats of the public health department versus the hate-filled harridans whose children died in an epidemic. “He must have been talking to the Wagners before their son even died!” Why, the Wagners probably deliberately infected their child with MRSA as part of an elaborate scheme to get a sweet financial settlement from the flush-with-cash county government! Monsters! Monsters with dead children!
Panel from Mary Worth, 4/27/08
“But she doesn’t deserve to see your hideous deformed and lumpy face, so please wear this paper bag, dear.”
April 27th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
mary, peace maker and face deformer..
April 27th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I can’t be the first to notice Ron’s uncanny resemblance to soon-to-be ex-president George W. Bush. Consequently, I can’t be the first to think of the possible presidency of Mary Worth, one where conflicts are quietly manipulated into existence, one person rules over a cabinet of powerless puppets, and the Constitution is pretty much decorational. And then I stop and think that I’ve seen that kind of presidency before.
April 27th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Rex Morgan: Rex and June are probably drooling over the thought of another trip to that greasy diner. But Count Morgu… he’s dreaming of the vampire equivalent of a Starbuck’s.
Click here: http://flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2442644839/sizes/o/
April 27th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I think the guy who does Judge Parker is making Sophie into a teen so he can soon write a whole thing about her hitting puberty. He really, really likes to draw boobs.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Is that arrow growing out of Ron’s neck?
April 27th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
JP: Now that her Asperger’s is miraculously cured, Sophie’s twin ponytails have also disappeared. Yes, Barretto loves to draw
BOOOOOOOOBS!
April 27th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I like how we never see the rack on which Abbey is putting away the plates. Because another rack would just be redundant.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
“Mor gu, Mule!” ….sorry, couldn’t resist.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
“Morgu can be found on the internet.”
April 27th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
In JP, the artists had to give Sophie a talking backpack, since Abbey and Gloria have a monopoly on the talking breast market.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Not only is his face deformed, he appears to have an arrow sticking out of his neck. It’s the same color as his sweater. And it’s Sunday, so it’s not the coloring gnomes’ fault this time.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
RMMD: Based on what little I know off the top of my head, most government officials and employees have no individual liabilitywhile acting in their official capacities, as well as the county and state having governmental immunity. Therefore, Mr. daytime TV advertising lawyer would not be able to sue them. And this poor sap’s assets would not be at risk.
Somebody should advise him, though, to shave off that beginning of a goatee.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I like to imagine that the arrow is kind of a spider-sense for the guy, indicating that this way is the direction he should be running from the lady with a hideous malformed claw-grip on his shoulder (logically! if he tried running the other way, she’d clothesline him).
Spider-man, however, has shown us just how useful the spider-sense can be.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow, where Mary will club him with a wrench.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
#12: Unless, of course, the state has expressly waived immunity through a tort claims act, etc. Or the individual was committing an illegal act. I know, not very snarky, but what the hey. RMMD is adding to the litigious nature of our society.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Come to terms? Am I the only one who first thought this was a typo? Or is this Josh’s joke?
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
April 27th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Is that man in Mary Worth wearing a Hallowe’en “devil” costume?
April 27th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
As always, anagrams reveal the stark truth about comics:
In RMMD, Max Mallory = My Lax Moral. How fitting for an ambulance chaser.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
The question is, did Mr. Doughface look like that BEFORE his thump n bump w/ his brother?
JP: Sophie’s talking backpack courtesy of Dora the Explorer.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Tomorrow’s Judge Parker:
“Some of Mrs Dickens sure would help Marie’s pain. Be a dear and go over and get some, Sophie.”
That little errand should last until October.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Foobar
Perhaps he’s a die-hard sports fan, maybe of the St Louis Rams, and he just saw a terrible foul on the in-room television.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Josh: Belly-baring, perhaps?
April 27th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I can’t figure out why everyone is linking to that awaiting tenure thing…. I have looked at it three different times now and can’t figure out what it is supposed to mean in regard to anything here…. ;o\
April 27th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I think Sophie has a copy of “Tax Bat” in her knapsack.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Y’know, let’s give the legal beagle a little credit…maybe Mr Mallory was requesting the coroner’s report? To get documents from a non-party to an action, you have to subpoena them. They’re not protected by work-product immunity unless they’re prepared in anticipation of litigation, which we can’t say has happened here.
Oh, I’m going to ace (haha, not really) my civ pro final tomorrow, but I just made an ass of myself on this thread. ;-)
April 27th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I can’t figure it out either, Lisa. Maybe enlightenment will come to those who wait.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
MARK TRAIL THEATER! ALERT.
If you are in the Washington DC area, you can listen to the Mark Trail radio program, where Mark, and his good friend Johnny Malotte go off to Hawaii to count the Meme, only to be kahunad.
WAMU.org.
It is also on line.
And you can hear it later… under the link for the Big Broadcast.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Props, Josh, for the mst3k reference in the post title! That is, unless I’m over-analyzing things and stretching for slightly moldy pop culture references….
April 27th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I meant to say … it is on RIGHT now. It is so … Mark Trail.
It doesn’t have Andy or Cherry, but Johnny is doing his best to be the stupid side kick.
April 27th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
27-grengle: If you were, then so was I. Best MST3K ever!
April 27th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I accuse my parents’ neighbors
So did Sophie win the essay contest? How long till she gets a job selling shoes?
April 27th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Actually, I should ask:
“How long till she wins the ‘I got the crap beat out of me’ contest?’
April 27th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
#29 Hawkeye – I dunno, man, there are a lot of solid contenders for that title…
April 27th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
25: Cute name (not)…. but thanks for affirming my confusion and for not letting me think I was the only one who didn’t know what was going on…
April 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
WHY IS EVERYBODY IN JUDGE PARKER AND REX MORGAN YELLING EVERYTHING?
April 27th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Cool. Marie is watching old-school Batman. I hate her 6% less now!
April 27th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
If Max Mallory was really a crackerjack TV lawyer, he’d be smarter than to file suit against the weedy, underpaid public-health doctor. He’d go straight for the corporate-owned hospital or, better yet, Rex Morgan, Golf Fiend. As any good ambulance-chaser could tell you, the secret is to go for the deep pockets, even if they’re clearly tangential to the case.
And as Niki well knows, Rex has the deepest pockets in town.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Oh man, Wouldn’t “Max the Ax, LEGAL WARRIOR!” be an awesome comic strip name? Heck, I’d be a lot more exciting than this MRSA crap. If there was such a strip, featuring Max laying down the law, and chopping the defense lawyers head off if necessary, I would so read it.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Boy, I wish I could be “out of commission for a few days” because of a sprained ankle. I’d take a hammer to it, so I could stay home and watch “Batman” reruns.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Wait a minute, what if this means THERE WON’T BE ANY CLIMAX IN JUDGE PARKER AT ALL? Abbey saw nothing and now thinks she’s been chasing after a big nothing, Biff and Elvira are clearing out all evidence of their wrongdoing, and I have this horrible gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that never the twain shall meet. I know that Mary Worth is the undisputed winner in the “wasted potential” department, but Judge Parker’s no Mark Trail, either. Please, Sophie, break out that trusty laptop of yours and crunch some data to force Abbey into action and bring this storyline to an interesting conclusion!
April 27th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
#38 Lou Shumaker – Holy crap, that is Batman, isn’t it? Sweet!
April 27th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Re: 27 grengle – My thoughts exactly! Awesome reference Josh (unless of course it wasn’t intentional, in which case it’s still an awesome reference).
RMMD: In that final panel, you can almost hear the “dun dun DUN” as the trio walks obliviously away from that chair, which is surely teeming with MRSA spread from a handkerchief in some civilian’s back pocket that was unceremoniously used to sop bacteria from his/her nose minutes before. And MRSA is tough, it will not die just because there is no warm buttocks sitting in that folding chair for a few hours, it makes like Chuck Norris and waits while others are sleeping.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Is Mary Worth counseling President Bush?
April 27th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Yeah, it’s Batman alright, but it looks like Frank Miller’s more than Adam West.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
#21 Electro — Right you are! I fixed.
Josh
April 27th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
#27 & #29–Me three. I’ll just never get over the beginning scene when they flash on the cook and either Crow or Servo says, “I like jello.” My best friend in grad school & I said that line over and over and over….
#30–is her mom a drunk? Will the other kids laugh at her???????
April 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I know this isn’t particularly funny, but there’s something about Sophie’s reaction to… that freckled lady who I am not going to remember the name of… that strikes me as a touch dramatic. A barely bandaged ankle? For me, that would barely warrant a glance, much less an outdated exclamation of concern/surprise.
Then again, I am a misanthrope.
April 27th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
In Saturday’s Rex Morgan, you can see on the top of the “subpoena” that the word “subpoena” is misspelled on the form… it says “Subpe…” so we therefore can surmise that Max Mallory hires minimum wage legal secretaries and is probably a terrible lawyer. Trust me, I know terrible lawyers, I’ve worked for some real bad ones.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
RMMD: I’m just kind of stunned by “We’ll find the MRSA!” As if it’s lurking in some closet, sneaking out at night to kill people before going back into hiding. We already know it’s up everyone’s nose in this town, why not start there?
April 27th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
#2, Tats,
Well, to make the parallel perfect, you’d need Colin Powell or someone to be shamed into drunk-driving over a cliff.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
#27 grengle,
I caught that reference too. All praise to Joel and the ‘bots!
April 27th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
RMMD: Y’know, Marie could be watching Batman: The Animated Series rather than the live-action show… but really, how could you tell?
April 27th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
#4, #6, et al: yes, Barretto does love to draw boobs, and I love when he draws boobs too!
April 27th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
That glimpse of Batman in the first panel of Judge Parker is actually an artists mournful cry. Eduardo Barreto, JPs artist, used to work in comic books, specifically superhero comics. After years of drawing thrilling adventures and dynamic characters, he finds himself on Judge Parker, where any hint of action or drama is quickly dismissed in favor of lots and lots of talking. The first panel essentially represents his current state, longing for the excitement of his old life, but crippled and confined by tose who control his art.
Sorry, I’ve been writing final papers all week.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
I always knew Mary Worth would meddle with Satan, the Prince of Lies himself if given the chance. I just never thought we’d see it.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
#51– Easy, so we just graze through a month or so of strips, looking for the TV in the corner and trying to decipher if the show is actually entertaining– if it is, we’ve got Batman:TAS. And it should be easier deciding that than actually following this fershlugginer plot.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
#48 AtomicBird – Like I said last week, I’m hoping this develops into an Aliens homage, and June will have to go in a-blastin’ to rescue
NewtNiki before the MRSA colony is destroyed in a nuclear explosion. Rex will, of course, be the first guy to die.Also, let me take a moment to chime in on the MST3K love. Best show ever.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
JP
Judge Parker is looking a lot like the original Apartment 3G, with attractively-drawn characters in a variety of scenes and poses and framing. Characters we can tell apart. Strips that are more than three sets of talking heads… like the current A3G.
Let’s give thanks for decent art, even if the scripts may not always satisfy.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
32-commodorejohn: Very true, but it’s definitely a top-tier episode.
45-TeacherPatti: My roommate and I still crack up when one of us says “I like pants” or “I know how toast works.”
April 27th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Forget Asperger, Sophie seems to be developing severe OCD. Look at her spinning around while she tries to adjust the straps of her backpack. They’re… just… not… right! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY WON’T THESE STRAPS STAY RIGHT!
Max the Ax, Legal Warrior? I smell spin-off… or perhaps an upcoming crossover with Prince Valiant, Attorney at Law.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
How ’bout a thread title based on the RMMD strip within:
“MRSA: The Noses of Fate”
There’s your best episode! :o)
IAMP ain’t bad, either.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
3. Alt Comix: sic ‘em, Andy!
April 27th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
The Wire and MST3K in the same week? I love it.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
#24: Your explanation makes sense, Pepper. After all, revealing that this subpoena is merely a request for information would be an excellent way to kill the high-stakes tension of a tertiary character being the subject of a lawsuit. On the other hand, I expect Rex Morgan, MD to paint an accurate depiction of legal system only slightly more than I expect it to have anything accurate about medicine.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
In re MST3K: Best episode? I dunno, people. For me, the apex was The Cave Dwellers. “I’M HUGE!”
Incidentally, what I loved about that show is the same spirit I love in this site… and here in the comments. Oh come on, group hug, everybody! Group hug!
April 27th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
#51: Unfortunately, the costume’s wrong for B:TAS.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
RMMD — Driven by desperation, I skimmed the MRSA article on Wikipedia to find out whether there could actually be a free-standing colony of MRSA lurking somewhere, unconnected with a human being. I read that MRSA can linger on garments and surfaces in “health care settings,” but I didn’t get the impression that it would be likely to hang around in a supermarket produce bin, for example, or hide in a rack of discount-store jeans.
The most interesting thing I found was a link to “terminal cleaning.” To terminally clean one room apparently requires more effort than I’ve ever put into cleaning anything, ever. Now I want to see June get her garage terminally cleaned. Heh.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Q: What do we always get from FW, often FOOB, and occasionally (among others) MW?
A: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP HURRRRRRRRRRTING!
April 27th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
# 64 Vakar — Yes! Yes! In my admittedly limited experience of MST3K, THE CAVE DWELLERS was by far the best episode. My tape includes hideous TV ads from the early 90s, which increases the torture value. I once forced my poor Japanese brother-in-law to watch it when he was still jet-lagged. I somehow feel so close to you right now, Vakar. Group hug indeed!
April 27th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Monday trickles in…
FOOB: John (answering Ellie): “I’m loosely based on Rod Johnston, who left your doppelganger, our creator Lynn, for a dental hygienist. Flowers are the least I could do!”
FW: It’s Funky, alright, but NO WAY is it anywhere NEAR pretty!
April 27th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
#64 Vakar,
Second (or third) the group hug. As for MST3k episodes, my vote goes to Eegah!. The guys are in rare form.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Monday Haha’s:
A3G: “I have a very good feeling about this project! Do you have a good feeling, LuAnn? Would you like to feel my good feeling?”
FW: well, if *that* doesn’t put you off pizza for a long, long while, very little will.
JP: “I know it’s a week’s worth of work, Sam, but Steve’s not a freakin’ goof-off like you are! What is it that you do again all day?”
MT: I’d question the presence of an Arctic hare so far south, but it’s a pretty smart one, knowing the importance of pet identification. It probably took a bus to Lost Forest.
Mutts: I like “shelter stories”. This one is so true…most dogs and cats are deaf, at least selectively so.
Phantom: this is just such a freakish comic…Pygmies, tights, really white folks in Tarzan outfits…Jungle Patrol laughs at logic!
RMMD: oooh, one of those SAT analogies! Max Mallory spends more time on TV : than practicing law :: Rex Morgan spends more time on the golf course : than practicing medicine.
FOOB: to be fair, I can’t see a reason for giving her flowers when she’d just rather have a ham. He’s up to something.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Spiderman: I think I’ve got it now. The reason for Peter Parker’s moodiness, his staying at home watching TV, etc. He’s a female spider. Obviously, it’s about time for him to bite off Mary Jane’s head and leave an egg sac somewhere. For my own part, I’m excited about this development. We finally have a character who could take on Margo and have a fair chance of winning.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
#72 Ken Doniger:
Well, I’m glad I wasn’t drinking soda when I read that. It stings to shoot it out your nose.
Ms. Peter Parker vs. Margo: The Grudge Match! (The grudge is ours against them.)
April 27th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
#68 Poteet: Just like my tape! Those ads age so poorly! But… I’ve never tortured anyone with it. Just reeducated my wife, is all.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Monday Crankshaft: No. He didn’t say that. He didn’t mean what I thought he did. He couldn’t have.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Awesome post title, Josh!!
Now I have that song in my head…
April 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am
76: You’re never too old to think you can or that someone wants you to…. especially if you are a man. ;o}
April 28th, 2008 at 12:37 am
I think Sophie is just pretending to have matured from a nerdy environmental advocate to a snide preteen princess. If her mean-girls school friends ever notice that the pink backpack she carries everywhere is bulging with actual books, they’ll never let her eat lunch at the cool table.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:47 am
More Monday:
9CL: How about “Holy Crap!”?
BBlues: Lima beans — The liver of vegetables
BBailey: (I’ve used up my quota of Obama/bowling jokes)
Curtis: See, you two? The kid’s so upset, he’s using Mark Trail word emphasis!
DT: I thought this strip already had a Pruneface! And the Chief is really bad at answering questions, isn’t she?
GF: Oh, please don’t get political!
GT: You, either!
HotC: She should just play along, already. On the other hand, if she does, they’ll just sic Dr. Bellows on her, so maybe she’s doing the right thing…
H&J: Uh… you’re clearly not dead…..
MT: OMIGOD! That TALKING GIANT BUNNY ATE MRS. THOMAS!!!….. Oh… there she is! *whew!!*
Pluggers: And the Great Pluggers Brand Name Wars began…
April 28th, 2008 at 1:04 am
I always liked lima beans……
April 28th, 2008 at 1:06 am
RMMD: I want to call this one: even odds that over the next few weeks Max(e) the Ax(e) thinks he’s contracted MRSA and needs the special antibiotic that only Rex Morgan can cook up.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:09 am
#70 AFKAB: Watch out for snakes! And careful with that porkarina.
Vakar, Poteet, the first MST I ever saw was the Cave Dwellers. My sister kept apologizing, saying, No, this is usually good!
April 28th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Please forgive my cultural ignorance, but:
1. Which MST3K episode/movie is this post title referring to?
2. I’ve never seen any (didn’t have cable when it was running). Which would be the top 2 or 3 to check out?
Thanks in advance.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:29 am
78. I know some old people who crack those kind of jokes all the time. When you get into your nineties it becomes more humorous. But Crankshaft making any kind of a normal joke?
82. I thought the secret antidote was bleach. If only people didn’t have a ridiculous prejudice against putting bleach in their noses, we wouldn’t have this problem.
A-3G: Judging by the samples on the wall, it looks as though Jack Davis Fine Art Prints got a good deal on a containerload of barrels of green ink. “Now Lu Ann, I think those flowers would look better with more of a greenish tint.”
GA: Sturdivant was smooching with a beady-eyed brunette and thirty seconds later he’s wearing a different shirt and halfway through his wedding? A different beady-eyed brunette than the bridesmaid, presumably. (I’m not too familiar with this cast.) There must be twin Sturdivants. Probably the evil Sturdivant is the one who went to UCLA instead of all those private universities his brother attended.
FW: Funky is too much of a jerk to be embarrassed by the picture. He posed for it, after all. Are people now going to boycott Montoni’s because they think the profit margins are too high? Presumably Montoni’s has to charge about the same as its competition. And isn’t Pizza World a specialized kind of publication that the customers would be unlikely to read?
Or is reading Pizza World and Collectable Comic Marketplace the Winkerbeanville equivalent of reading Wired in Silicon Valley?
FOOB: Is that a real song? If so, I’d like to learn it. You could really annoy people singing a song like that.
Is this part of the story about him wanting to buy a sports car?
I was listening to NPR this afternoon and they were interviewing someone who has just published a book about the great comic book scare of the early 1950s. He said that after they adopted the comics code, when they drew a three-quarter view of Betty or Veronica, they could only show one breast.
The interviewer then said: “Presumably it would only be half as titillating.” It make me wonder if she made that up before-hand and somehow worked it in, because if it was an ad-lib she’s really quick.
Re: Manon Lescaut from a couple of threads ago. That’s nothing. A few months ago they did The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagony. Maybe PBS is doing a “fractured geography” series. They’ll carry on with a dramatization of a Karl May western and end up with Nelson Eddy and Jeannette Macdonald in Rose Marie (where Montreal is a day’s horseback ride away from the Rocky Mountains).
April 28th, 2008 at 1:29 am
9CL: I need to start exclaiming “Zounds!” I already use “crimony” and “man alive,” so I might as well go off the deep end of word nerddom.
Archie: I wish I could feel sympathy for Archie’s nerve-bedeviled attempt to triple dip into the dating pool, but I just don’t have it in me.
B.C.: Your Number 1 sign the Hart era is well and truly over: the strip is capable of amusing. For some reason, I really enjoy the casual body language in the last panel, contrasted with the apparent severity of the wound(s).
Baldo: Man, all the good women are taken, not interested in me, or eight years old and fictional.
BB: On the bright side, it doesn’t look like it’ll take long to clean the Existential Void.
Blondie: On the surface, this seems a simple enough joke, but somehow, I just don’t get it. Will Herb not believe it from Dagwood? Does Herb think he needs permission from Blondie? Does it have something to do with Herb having “called” in person (a meaning of the verb that’s been pretty much extinct since women had “gentleman callers”)? Help me out, here.
Buckles: Someone beamed up his doggie bed between panels.
Cathy: The funniest thing to me about this one is that the floor line in the second panel suggests that they just ran through a Surprise Jaggie in the wall.
CTH: Well, that’s odd, but funny requires that it make sense in some kind of twisted way. Like, if he’d come out burned to a crisp, that would be… well, it would be kind of grotesque, but it’d make more sense as a malfunction of something that shoots waves through you.
DtM: Uh, colorist? Anything you want to throw in here?
DinS: Please don’t let him ask if can have it without the CD player. I may laugh myself into a coma.
FW: When you do puns based on the name you gave a character, it’s just annoying.
The World According to Garf: If the cell phone were smaller, it would not only be more accurate, it would be a funnier contrast. Also, I don’t think you could hold anything the shape of the manual that way, much less something heavy.
H&J: “Astrological forecast in the paper”? That would be what humans call a horoscope, Bentley.
H&L: And they didn’t tell Chip until they were ready to go? Nice.
JP: Now Steve can go hang out with Dagwood for the rest of the week.
MT: As we know, the normal M.O. of thieves is to call about returning what they’ve stolen. I think someone’s told her this is a dognapping plotline. Maybe the giant rabbit. Or its lower spine.
MW: In his shock and grief, Ron Amalfi spontaneously generates a nimbus of holiness.
PMP: So he purposely goes around, turning everything into mufflers? Wouldn’t it make more sense if it had more connection to the story, like accidentally turning his daughter into a muffler?
Pluggers: The new #7 with an undertone of #1. (I promise I’ll get this gag out of my system before too long.)
PreTeena: Love that expression in the last panel.
RLA: Why the caption? Why? Why? Why?
RM: Count Morgu must be in the middle of his tap routine, because that’s certainly not part of any stride.
amused me today, but unmentioned above: MG&G, MC, PBS
April 28th, 2008 at 1:30 am
I’ve gotta share in the MST3K love. It’s been ages since I watched it, but I’ve always been a big fan. :)
Monday snarkage:
JP: Sam’s next line is, “OK, but before the two of you make passionate love on my desk, would you mind asking Steve to take off his prosthesis? It’s bound to leave dents on the top, and that’s polished teak. Thanks bunches.”
Luann: Way to go, Luann. You’re so desperate for a man that you’d even settle for the previously unappealing Gunther, but only if you can mold him to your stringent Cute Boy standards first. Very charming.
Marvin: Dennis, are you watching this? Now THAT’s menacing. Seriously.
MT: “I hope the thieves will call about returning him soon! Madeline’s college fund isn’t going to spend itself, you know!”
OBH: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! It’s Marilyn Manson!
Phantom: Hey, is Walker married to Wonder Woman or what?
Spiderman: *rubs hands together wickedly as she anticipates the snark to come*
PBS: Love it! That one may have to go up above the “Yes, we know we’re really tiny,/But don’t kick us in the heinie” strip above my desk at work. :D
April 28th, 2008 at 1:52 am
#84 Godzooky: Possibly Josh is referring to “I Accuse My Parents!” As for which MSTs would be the top two or three, it’s hard to say. I’d suggest looking for a particular movie or genre that you especially like.
Some of my faves are “The Day the Earth Froze”, “Rocketship X-M”, and “Godzilla vs. Megalon.” Also, check out the YouTube!
April 28th, 2008 at 2:32 am
There’s something strange about the arrow right behind Brother #2’s head. It seems to say that there will soon be a full-on Exorcist head swivel. Strange that it’s coming from Brother #2 and not Mary, though.
April 28th, 2008 at 2:33 am
Sally Forth: Wow, that’s some bad shirt, Ted. When did you come out?
Monty, Get Fuzzy: Heh. Heh heh heh. Hee hee hee!
Luann: “I love you just the way you are…now change!!” I’m not at all surprised Evans is working this angle.
Garfield: Yeah, welcome to the twentieth century. Feel free to join us in the twenty-first.
My Cage: I finally bit, thanks to all the chatter here–and I love it
FOOB: Remember, guys: a cheerful disposition is proof of wrongdoing–so always treat your wife in a surly, neglectful, perhaps even threatening manner, so she can climb up your ass about that.
Crankshaft: I just threw up through my nose. Not even Assholine Galley accomplished that.
Candorville: Yeaaaaah, I’d be more sympathetic if this were the main character gettin’ strangled, and not his callous street-thug friend.
April 28th, 2008 at 2:43 am
=v= SFx: Another Sunday with no Cassandra Cat. Nor Carla Cat. It’s a travesty.
April 28th, 2008 at 2:56 am
A3-G: Yeah, those are some pretty amazing prints, Lu Ann. “Green Tree” is one of Jack’s seminal works. You should see his other pieces, “Happy Family Holding Hands” and “House with Curl of Smoke.”
FOOB: Unfortunately, I’ve run out of words to describe just what a horrendous bitch Elly has become over the past several months of this comic strip. Fortunately, Lynn Johnston is nothing is not a master at making up stupid new words, so I should have plenty more in short order.
S-M: Ah, an archetypical Spider-Man strip. Questionable anatomy, an improbable prison escape, dullness so acute it even put the characters to sleep, and lots and lots of intense television-watching. It’s good to be back home.
MW: At some point, this week’s Mary Worth became a bizarre freshman drama class assignment to create the most interesting blocking possible. The first panel, in particular, looks like a sixteenth-century oil painting entitled “The Suffering of Donna Amalfi.”
April 28th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Zounds! Am I the only “Mudge in history who never watched MST3K? (OK, I watched it a couple of times, but I remember little of it, he said sheepishly.)
#85 Mr. O’Malley Re: FOOB— The song John is singing is a real song. It’s called “Feeling Good”, and it’s from the 1965 musical, “The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd” by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley. It’s been recorded by many artists.
I’m wondering if the song has any meaning for the plot. Since when has John had a “new day”, or felt good? Will he now announce that he is leaving Elly for a young babe? Since Elly is drawn to look worse than ever in today’s strip (she looks 70+), one can see how John might be tempted. Given the supposed parallels between FOOB and LJ’s real life, I suppose such a plot development is possible, but I doubt that it will happen because it would be too interesting. LJ would be violating her well honed passion for dullness.
April 28th, 2008 at 3:52 am
I think that BC would be improved today by just having the first two panels stand on their own. I do get the “joke,” using the term loosely, but those first two panels just fit the sublime, Dada insanity that has been BC post-Hart, which can actually be amusing, though for reasons unintended by the author.
GT: Was anyone surprised by this development? If you were, please go speak with Lu Ann Powers, as she has some fantastic prints for sale that you’d just love.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:26 am
#56: commodorejohn– Check out the banner on the Foob home page today. It has that ugly tribute to Mike I told you about.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Luanne Is it that unheard of that that someone could make it through high school without finding anyone even remotely compatible romantically/sexually, and it not be the end of the world? My biggest problem with these strips is because they can’t even remotely allude to the idea that someone could have a quick fling/nothing serious, every person of the opposite sex has to be either a Boyfriend or Just A Friend. Hey, Luanne!! Go out with Gunther, let him cop a feel, tell him you’re Not Ready For Anything Serious and let him go home and take care of business! It’ll help him get through the next twenty years of being in the same grade, and you’ll have someone to eat pizza with who has to pretend to be interested in what you have to say…
April 28th, 2008 at 5:35 am
93. Alfred E. Neuman. Thanks. I must look that up. I think my parents took me to see that show on tour years ago, but I don’t remember much about it. My father was a big fan of Broadway shows. Maybe they have it at the library.
It certainly has an obnoxious vibe!
I, for one, must admit to not being a MST3K nerd. Not that I have anything against it, but I went through periods of being unemployed and not being able to afford cable.
Now I’m employed, and I still can’t afford cable. Don’t judge the lot of public employees by Alberto Gonzales or John Yoo. We’re hanging on to the rabbit-ears until next year! As I’ve said previously, we may have to give up on TV in 2009.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:43 am
‘bean: The whole town’s buzzing about that Pizza World cover story.
Sam & Gloria’s Office Hijinx: When you come to the office every day, don’t take long lunches, and keep off the golf, you can get more done.
Phantom: I just don’t think of the Phantom as a picnic kind of guy. It doesn’t fit. It’s like seeing a theology professor at a strip joint. Also, this makes me wonder if his kids have ever seen the Phantom’s face.
The Hunger of Max Mouse: He can’t keep his mind on the case because of the call of the pie.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:55 am
Curtis: This *better* end up as an “awwwwwww” moment rather than “stars flying out of Curtis’ ass” moment.
Re: Sophie’s Asperger’s: Does this mean that she’ll be drawn as a teenage blonde version of Chloe O’Brien?
JP/RMMD: Crossover time? Battle of Teh Boobiage?
9CL: “Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster!”
Phantom: Ah, the bickering siblings. Thankfully, Lynn is no where near this strip.
April 28th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Archie: I see that Reggie is shrinking, and he doesn’t take care of his hair anymore — remember when he used to slick it back with Vaseline or something? In today’s strip he looks shorter than Dilton.
Also, Phoebe must be on the girls’ wrestling team — she’s wearing her mouth protector, which is why even t hough she is smiling and staring out into space at nothing in particular you can’t see her teeth.
April 28th, 2008 at 6:49 am
95 dreadedcandiru2–But they really did skip entirely over mentioning April’s birthday earlier this month? Or did I miss the birthday greeting for her?
April 28th, 2008 at 6:50 am
A3g: Well, it’s good to see that Lu Anne won’t have to languish in solitude while Alan does time for selling heroin to his soon-to-be-angry-ex girlfriend. If she (LuAnne) has any sense she’s going to latch on to that printmaker, and soon her little flower paintings will be advertised in Parade Magazine on the same page with, and will be even more popular than, the Franklin Mint Something Disaster Commemorative Plates. Meanwhile Alan will be in the prison cafeteria banging on his tin plate with his spoon chanting “We want cake! We want cake!” till the guards break out the tasers. Or maybe he can become a celebrity prisoner/artist who paints with coffee and tomato juice.
April 28th, 2008 at 6:51 am
John Patterson is singing Nina Simone.
JOHN PATTERSON IS SINGING NINA SIMONE.
John Patterson is singing Nina Simone?
Nothing makes sense anymore.
April 28th, 2008 at 6:55 am
#88 Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed re: MST3K: Thanks. I’m a sucker for Godzilla movies (duh!), I’ll make sure to include that one when I finally check out this show.
Phantom: Considering the two kids are blondes and Kit and Diana aren’t, maybe he keeps the costume on so the kids won’t end up on Maury.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:35 am
That’s Rex Morgan, MD.
He spends more time on the river, hanging out with “golfing buddies”, bitching about UNIVERSAL HEALTH INSURANCE, and chasing young boys than he does practicing medicine.
BARK! BARK! BARK!
April 28th, 2008 at 7:36 am
A3G — Hey watch those hands. Having a good feeling doesn’t mean you can cop a feel.
MW — Knowing Ron’s propensity for violence, the doctor has already raised his fists for protection.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:36 am
#101 Shoshi: They did mark April’s birthday by using the cut away panel from a Sunday strip. The one where she’s playing guitar, to be precise.
April 28th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Godzooky @ 84: Allow me to climb on the MST3K fan bandwagon. I’m a huge fan of early Joel episodes, especially season 2, when it seems like Joel laid off the weed and got funnier (or maybe he started smoking more, who knows). But, as with anything in pop culture, the stuff you encounter first ends up being your favorites, so I would recommend “Robot Holocaust,” “Robot Monster,” “The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy,” and “Manos, the Hands of Fate,” which in order to achieve true greatness should have had the word “robot” in the title.
Anyway, snark on, MacDuff:
9CL: The wonderment of Hilary Hahn is what we in snarkland call an “informed attribute.” Especially since Brooke’s been too damned lazy to even draw her.
A3G: A “printmaking studio”? Get over it, LuAnn. The man runs a Kinko’s, for God’s sake.
Archie: I think he’s just creeped out by the fact that apart from hairstyles, every girl in town looks exactly the same.
(WT)DT: Dab Stract probably walked in the front door like the SWAT team could have at any time. By the way, who is that off-panel helpfully handing him a brand-new bow? He could at least take the price tag off of it first.
thorps: “That is why, to throw off the imigraciones, I gave you a good, strong, American name, Elmer! So you would always stick close to home!”
H&J: Granny’s either got a really strong need for external validation, or a really low sense of self-awareness.
JP: “You’re here late!” “So are you, considering the ice-cream shop closes in 5 minutes!”
Luann: Shouldn’t she be insulted that he sees her as the pig, instead of the female protagonist of the story? Wouldn’t a spider costume be a lot cooler? Oh… wait… spider… pig… Spider-Pig! Spider-Pig! Does whatever a Spider-Pig does! Curses upon you, Brookins, for putting that song in my head!
MT: Behaviorists say that when a woman is interested in a man, she will unconsciously touch the part of herself that she thinks is her best feature. I mention this only because it seems like every woman Mark meets drapes her hand across her bosom.
Marvin: This really does look like a different drawing style, but it’s still signed by “Armstrong.” Maybe we’re seeing repeats from a few years back?
MW: Now I’m no doctor, but yeah, I’d say death is “a turn for the worse.”
PBS: Sometimes you can tell when a strip is planned solely for the purpose of a future T-shirt or book cover. As evidence, I present panel 3.
Phantom: I don’t care if they do live in the jungle, I think the fact that Kit traipses around in nothing but a loincloth in front of his mother and sister is just wrong.
RMMRSA: It’s a pulse-pounding race against time to find the MRSA colony! Because, of course, if they do, the litigious parents’ dead kid will magically come back to life. Or maybe they can rub the lawyer’s head in it. Either way, the lawsuit will go away.
SF: Didn’t Ted already find another job, doing that… risk assessment… flex mediation… synergy outsourcing… thing he does?
S-M: And so, another exciting adventure falls in the lap of… The Soporific Spider-Man!
April 28th, 2008 at 8:04 am
re: MST3K: Oh man, I’m a huge dork for MST3K. I’ve got 4 of the box collections at home and one of my buddies has another 4 at his place. A few of my favorites are; Time Chasers, Pod People, Space Mutiny and Boggy Creek II. One of the best things about MST3K was the Shorts they did. You can look any of their movies or shorts up on Youtube. Also worth checking out is RiffTrax, Mike Nelson’s venture after MST3K ended. You can download them for a couple bucks from the site http://www.rifftrax.com They do a lot of new movies on there, I Am Legend is coming out soon, for instance. Awesome stuff, though, I’d say they have a far better ratio of good ones than they ever did in MST3K.
Anyways, onto the comics…
A3G: Watch out, Luann, that guy’s got a serious case of mumps.
Archie: How many mindless bimbos are wandering around Riverdale, exactly? Seems like there’s a new one every week.
‘Shaft: Oh great, now I can’t help but think of ‘Shaft as some kind of geriatric gigolo.
DtM: There’s something horrifying going on here; Tommy has no belly between his shirt and pants and his ankles seem to have been replaced with springs. Is Dennis using him for his own twisted experiments?
DT: Yeah, he just said it was you, no need to repeat that. Thanks for pointing that out, Liz, you can go home now.
FW: Look, you know that Funky was going to be featured in this magazine, how did you not get what he was talking about? Either Kahn was just playing along to the end of this awful pun, he was too dim to the joke or his mind is completely shot. Whichever it is, it’s terminal.
GT: I’m a little ashamed to admit that I’m on tenterhooks to see how they’re going to evade the law this time. Considering there really is no way that they could become legal citizens, it should be quite bizarre.
H&J: Well, that’s just morbid.
MT: The Hell? I thought this house was in the suburbs, why is it suddenly the only property within miles? Did the giant rabbit crush all the other houses?
Marvin: Wha…WHAT!? God almighty, this is a disturbing strip. Plus the new artist is really starting to weird me out. I never thought I’d long for the days when Tom Armstrong was still doing this strip.
MW: Later, authorities pursuing an apparent “Angel of Death” at the local hospital will be lead directly to the cult compound known only as “Charterstone”.
Phantom: Random Though O’ The Day; Suppose The Phantom there kept his leotard on when those kids were being conceived? Just imagine that stripey butt going up and down real fast.
SF: Boy, Ted sure is looking…flamboyant…today.
S-M: In other news, MJ has apparently resorted to giving her husband roofies to get some action.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Monday Crankshaft: The lady’s expression to Chankshaft’s supposition says it all. Or.. she could be disappointed. How much do we really know about these neighbors?
April 28th, 2008 at 8:24 am
# 85, 93 & 103 – I’m guessing he’s actually singing the Michael Buble version. That seems a bit more Pattersonian.
Holy crap! I just googled Feelin’ Good, and according to Wikipedia, George Michael covered it as well. I guess I can imagine John Patterson having an extensive George Michael collection on CD.
A3G – In that last panel, it’s… Max Mallory, The Legal Warrior! For a guy who can’t spell worth a crap, I don’t think I’d trust him as my printmaker.
MT – That bunny made me laugh so hard I scared the cats.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:26 am
#110 – Re: MT – Yes, and I fully expect to see a smiling cat in a tree and a huge caterpillar on a mushroom with a hookah next installation. You owe it to us, Jack, after making us suffer with 9 years of a truly lame-ass story.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:26 am
My Cage: …dude, did they just reference Dr. McNinja?!
Marvin: So I guess he killed his parents.
Mary Worth: Well…that was anti-climactic. Unless Mary finds a way to meddle her way into the afterlife.
Mark Trail: Holy crap, the entire universe exists within a white rabbit! This is the most existential Mark Trail ever!
Funky: I never thought I’d say this, but I sure miss the cancer.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Curtis – Well done, me lad. Way to twist that knife of guilt; you got both of them in one sentence. There may be hope for you yet.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Edge City – A printer crapping out? Where’s the joke in that? The joke would be a printer that didn’t conk out.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Someone cue up Jefferson Airplane with Grace Slick, pronto!
Speaking of music and such – Spider Brick, did anyone ever tell you before now that you look like Steven Page?
(This is definitely a compliment!)
April 28th, 2008 at 8:48 am
GA – Way to go, you idiots. Now there won’t be any bleeding a millionaire for alimony.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:49 am
GT: The new artist has created the ultimate teen dream car in panel three. It’s a cross between a VW bug and a Mini Cooper. Too cute for anyone but a comic character.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:55 am
BF More FoobLite. Dammit.
Cathy (Must Die!) 3 starburst panel frames, 2 pointy fingers to the side, 1 pointy finger upward, 5 Butterfly mouths (what the hell inspired this facial expression, geez!) and 1 mother figure with her arms inexplicably raised upward for no apparent reason other than Cathy Guisewhite has drawn it that way and that’s how it will be. Oh, and one fancy picture-frame text panel.
C’haft Oh, as IF, you ancient old bastard you.
Curtis Yeah, because even if he got a regular job you’d be all up in his face and jumping all over him about how he should spend his money. The kid can’t win.
(WT)DT Thanks for the bulletin, Liz, but since you aren’t leaning over the body checking for a pulse or anything, it looks like you’re making a stage whisper to remind Dick of just how much of a dick he really is. And how many people lift their arms even with their shoulder in order to point at something in front of them?
FC It’s just too early in the damn day to be warbling your shit at me, Billy.
FBoFW Oh, excuse me Elly; I meant to bring these flowers to the woman I loved. Here, hand them over and I’ll be back in an hour or so.
FW Oh ha ha, his NAME is Funky so it’s a funky cover. Bwaha, not that this joke hasn’t made the rounds for the past what? Thirty years?
GA Okay, so Creepy Eyed dark haired sister DIDN’T tell the bride-to-be that the Groom-to-be hit on her, and is going to let her marry the jerk without so much as a cough? Oh dammit, I wasn’t going to read this strip anymore and here I am snarking on it. Damn. All I need is Slim and the Junkyard Hillbillies in on this, and I’ll hurl my breakfast in record time.
(WTF)GT Okay, how many times can I not care about today’s strip? That many, huh?
HotC For cryin’ out loud, Tatulli, will you stop mentioning the fucking Jonas Brothers!
JP Wow, maybe my letter to Woody or to King Features lit a fire or something. It’s ALREADY late afternoon in Judgeparkerville? Of course, the evening could take several month’s real time so okay, maybe this isn’t so startling after all.
Luann Yep, yep. He’s just so Perfect for you, except for a major part of his personality which you Can and Will change in him, right? I hate you, Luann.
MT Wait wait wait. Aside from the Second Panel Bunny’s internal organs talking to themselves, I thought Madeline lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood, yet that’s a shot of the Honeycomb Hideout in panel two! How did they transport back there all of a sudden? And DAMN YOUR EYES, Mark Trail, for suggesting you get her another dog to replace the one she lost? Great, now there will soon be TWO lost puppies to be hunted down by roving packs of mean hungry adult dogs looking for a snack, plus the girl will not have any lesson learned in caring for an animal. Disposable societies always replace a tossaway and trip merrily along.
Mark Trail FAILS today.
Marvin Tom Armstrong gets away with the murder of an otherwise usable place in the funnies every day, too.
MW I know this is a dramatic moment in MW, but… those are some of the most wrinkled up hospital bedsheets I’ve ever seen for a patient who could barely move before she died.
MC So what if it was? Stand your ground, Norm. Fuck Rex.
PBS Hmm. This ought to be an entertaining week. As always.
Phantom Yeah, let’s see the care and training of future Wearers of the Purple Striped Undies.
PreT It’s a shame that the artist is quitting the strip, but it’s mighty damn admirable of her too. Hey, LYNN JOHNSTON, GET THE HINT? At least PreTeena’s artist is quitting and wants to give an opportunity to a new strip & artist, unlike some Nervy Bitchy Canadian Comic-Strip Creators Who Keep Beating A Dead Horse’s Bones Into Dust>
RMDS Because MRSA is like a termite colony. Find it, destroy it, all is well. Right?
S4th *dramatic drum roll*
S-M Hey, Spider-Man writer! Read my PreTeena snark and take the fucking hint already.
The BM of Edison Lee Dude. You dare besmirch William Shatner’s cool goodness by mentioning him in your tacky little comic?
April 28th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Best MST3K episodes ever: Cave Dwellers, Space Mutiny, and the iconic “Manos:” The Hands of Fate. Now, on to (mostly) less humorous fodder:
C’shaft: Unless the next installment features the neighbor woman kneeing Crankshaft in a place that hasn’t felt any sort of sensation for the past two decades, I’m going to quietly forget today’s strip ever occurred.
FOOB: They’re for your grave, Elly. John’s had about all he can stand.
Lio: Awww, come on, what happened to Lil’ Dicky?
April 28th, 2008 at 9:04 am
SFx: We now can see why the Shrew is Shady. His buddy is stoned to the gills. Which explains the theft of the nearest munchies.
NS: This is another one that makes me wonder if Whiley is drawing jokes written by Hilary Price of RwO. (which was very cute today as well.)
A&J: more Arlo win.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:08 am
So MW’s meddling has now made matters worse: Ron was not around when his mother “took a turn for the worse” — he’ll feel forever guilty about this and his brother will forever blame him. And all because MW had to meddle.
Will someone stop MW before she ruins any more lives?
BTW — MW just has to be written to be read ironically at this point. People can’t take this stuff seriously, can they?
April 28th, 2008 at 9:09 am
#58 Hawkeye–we are forgetting one of the greatest lines, IMHO. As we know, Jimmy was prone to exaggeration (by which I mean lying his ass off). When he was at the “club” with Kitty (I think her name was?) Servo said something like, “While you were off dancing, I liberated France.”
There’s also the “Got any sugar for the happy chef?” Man, I could quote that movie all day! In fact, I think I will :) :)
April 28th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Apropos of nothing and everything: yesterday I had to take along bus trip so I took with me Walt Kelly’s POGO, the first collection, with the strips from 1949-1951. When you read a strip like this, YOU REALLY APPRECIATE HOW BLEAK THE NEWSPAPER COMIC STRIP UNIVERSE HAS BECOME. I suppose a lot of the contributers to this blog are too young to remember the early days of Pogo, but this collection and many of the earlier ones can still be found in bookshops, and certainly can be obtained on the internet. This strip was a perect combination of great art, humor, intelligence, social commentary — you name it. This has been said many times before. And after having reread that book yesterday, as I go through the strips in The Houston Chronicle — I realize what a pathetic batch of garbage we are offered every day on the comics pages!
There are a few exceptions, of course, and we all know which ones they are.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:24 am
“Prince Valiant”: the villain is blinded by light reflecting off a golden tiara and falls off a cliff.
Is Dick Locher taking over the writing of “Valiant”?
April 28th, 2008 at 9:25 am
BTW: Hooray for Count Morgu!
We’ll see you in court, Max the Ax.
Bring extra supplies of hemo globin. They serve justice, not lunch at the Parkersville courts.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:27 am
#118 – True, I think from now on I am going to refer to FW as “Skunky Winkerbean”, as the main character truly stinks now.
I have been watching “Intervention” episodes online lately, and Counselor Jeff said something once that describes Funky to a T – he said “Sobriety is NOT Recovery.” Interesting point…
April 28th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Busted-Computer-Monday Comics!
(well, not busted, but my home upgrade didn’t go as smoothly as I wanted… thank goodness for work access)
A3G: Talks of “feeling” that near to LuAnn can only go so wrong.
Archie: And now the AJGLU3000 thinks just the introduction of alliteration makes something funny.
BB: It’s almost a surprise to see this on a Monday, the way it should be. A joke that works and isn’t distortable!
Curtis: Occasionally there’s good material here. This “trying to help the wrong way” is something that does happen to children. This was “comedically exaggerated” (read: stretched beyond the point of belieavability for the sake of daily jokes) but all will hang on how the parents handle it from here.
DT: How often is Dick having bulging eyes? Lately, way too often! And he still looks like an astronaut. Who’d like to see Dick in Interstellar adventures?
Garfield: Josh is going to be happy, more mill for his cell phone grind. A joke that might have been funny 10 years ago.
H&L: Someone needs to get Browne to a therapist. Trying to work out his issues through the comics makes me depressed.
JP: Good show, New Partner, showing off and making your employer look bad! How long will you last now?
MT: Okay, having animals speak was bad enough. Now we have a bunny’s ears talking to a bunny’s back, while the bunny’s butt ejects a giand Elrodball!
MW: Ron Amalfi was in the Burlesque when he was young. This is where he took the habit of wildly gesticulating while asking questions.
MC: More win – one win per panel even. And yes, this is because I was picked last in gym. hell, if the teacher had to be absent, I wasn’t even picked! One side preferred to be one guy short rather than have me. (The concept of, um, teaching the rules seemed to be rather absent from the curriculum. So was practice.) “DEM Industries” is as bad as Maguffin. :)
Pluggers: I’d like to mock that… but I live without a cell… and will have to rent one for my upcoming trip to Ireland. So… I’ll stay silent. (Driving by myself in remote areas for a week and needing every day to call a new B&B to reserve a space? Yeah, I’ll need a way to stay in contact.)
SlyFox: All I can think about is how much fun Reynard Noir will have with this…
April 28th, 2008 at 9:40 am
So, nobody else noticed that Sophie turned into Orlando Bloom in panel 4?
April 28th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Uh Luann?
Actually, Gunther is far more hip than you and anyone else in the strip. with his DIY sewing skills and his nerdy style, he’s far hipper than thou. all he needs are his thick-rimmed glasses back and a sweet bicycle, and he’s ready for the streets of Portland.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Just jumping in on the MST3K love – My personal top episodes are Manos, Prince of Space, I Accuse my Parents, Hobgoblins and Monster A-go-go.
I don’t regret much in my life but part of me still thinks back in 89 when I first saw the show I didn’t get in my car dive to minnesota and camp out at best brains until i got job there – why? well for one thing the first six shows I saw – I had already seen the movie. But it was not to be.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:55 am
RMMD — Are they actually suing the health deapartment of just deposing the health department? Suing them doesn’t make sense. More sense to sue wherever the MRSA was found.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I’ve seen only two MST3K episodes, from a friend’s tape, way back in… 96? or thereabouts. With friends we drove to Kalamazoo, Michigan. I left Ottawa at 6am by train, we picked up more people and a rented van in Toronto, and set out west at around 3pm. Someone had a CB radio and we had great fun listening to the truckers on the Michigan Interstate, after we ate in Ann Arbor. One was particularly amusing, regaling all his sexual conquests along his routes while worrying if his wife was unfaithful, all on the main, open channel. When we managed to stop laughing, one of us made a casual remark, and the trucker exploded, yelling that this was a private conversation blah blah. We nearly hurt from laughing.
We arrived at midnight after missing our turn and ending up in the middle of the “city”, at a convenience store which was closed already, heavily barred, and only had a slit big enough for bills and cigarettes. Not even visual contact, all through a micropohone and speaker. I felt far from home. Our hosts welcomed us in, dead tired as we were, and plopped us down to show us MST3K, knowing us Canadians had no exposure to it. It was the second Gor movie. I remember little except being rather nonplussed, too tired to be able to understand much, but most of us were in the perfect frame of mind to appreciate it.
I’ve yet to see any more of it other than brief clips. My main problem is that I generally can’t understand what Joel/Mike and the bots are actually saying… I need subtitles…
90. Jym: if we had a steady diet of Carla and Cassandra Cat (no, not together, ummm.. mmmmm.. wait, what was I thinking again? Oh yeah) the parents and the syndicates might get suspicious. Weber must dole them out carefully. Though has he explained her early appearance changes? Did she get a hair and fur dye?
April 28th, 2008 at 10:23 am
MT – Thanks to the giant talking rabbit, I finally understand Mark Trail. The only way the strip makes sense is to think of it as a modern-day Alice in Wonderland.
Phantom – “Col. Worubu will train them properly.” Once again, the Phantom abandons a promising storyline just as it’s about to get interesting. And this one could have given Jugs Parker some serious competition.
MW – Yow! That is the most grotesquely rendered bunch of people at a death scene this side of Jack Chick. Maybe tomorrow we’ll see the old lady in Hell with Mary, who rips off her mask and goes “You didn’t accept my advice! Bwah-hah-hah!”
April 28th, 2008 at 10:25 am
MT: Monday April 28. The day the rabbit’s ass spoke.
#123 – When I was a kid I found my parents’ Pogo books and I used to lie on the floor shrieking with laughter. I’ll never have that much fun again.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Judge Parker: The Dickens, you say?
MW: Isn’t it obvious that the old lady pulled the plug herself, before Mary could return? The best revenge: Subjecting her hated sons to the platitudes from hell while she escapes forever.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:34 am
JP – You never see Marie wearing her French maid outfit anymore. I guess once Sam married Abbey, she made him quit bopping the hired help.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I finally got cable just in time for the last gasp of MST3K, when it had already ceased production and SciFi was running out their license with randomly-selected Mike episodes. I did see quite a few earlier ones at friends’ houses, though.
For short subjects, it’s hard to beat Mr. B Natural, in which the title character is played by an attractive blonde woman.
Yes, that’s right–Mister B Natural is played by a woman. You can guess which direction the commentary goes on this one.
There are some brilliant MST3K’s. One of the last ones I saw was some Joe Don Baker movie where he played a Texas sherriff who, for some reason, was in Italy fighting drug runners dressed as monks. Mike and the ‘bots gave Joe Don a great many grunts, belches, farts and other I’m-too-big-and-fat-to-be-an-action-hero noises. They’d treated him similarly in at least one other episode, and honestly I wonder if they ever thought he might just show up at Best Brains one day and start busting heads.
In 1990, I drew a big poster of Joel, Crow and Tom Servo at the request of a friend. We took a picture of several members of our theater group with the poster and mailed both poster and photo to Best Brains, where I’m told the poster hung for some time.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:47 am
MST3K: The Screamig Skull! Best ever!
April 28th, 2008 at 10:49 am
#94 dreadedcandiru2 – Yikes. Not as bad as that beach picture from last year, or the “John’s birthday” picture, but still, even one Mike Patterson is too many. Not to mention that they’re all terribly drawn; most of ‘em are just lumpy, but Mikes four and five are downright scary. Mike Four has someone else’s hair pasted on, and Mike Five has that creepy shelf-in-the-back-of-the-head thing going on, as well as apparently having raided his son’s dirt stash for a midnight snack.
#95 Donald The Anarchist – Been there, done that. And hey, I didn’t die of terminal depression, believe it or not. I’ll find Mrs. Commdorejohn some day, but somehow I’m *gasp* *shock* managing to enjoy being single while it lasts.
#137 Paul1963 – That would be Mitchell, which also served as Joel’s send-off before Mike took over. If you’re looking to refresh your memory, there’s a mocking over at the Agony Booth, a site devoted to MST-style recaps of bad movies, which I highly recommend.
Anyway, favorite MST3K episodes, eh? “Manos” The Hands Of Fate is a definite classic, Space Mutiny is great, Prince Of Space is great fun, Robot Monster is a wonderful episode and, to my knowledge, the only post-apocalyptic film to feature a gorilla with a diving helmet, and Jack Frost is, I think, my personal favorite. But it’s all good. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with the show or, like Mr. O’Malley, couldn’t afford cable when it was on the air, many of the episodes can be found on YouTube, or, if you’re torrent-savvy and tremendously patient, there’s the MST3K Digital Archive Project for you to get acquainted.
9CL – That pose in the first panel seems to suggest that Amos has some sort of masturbation ritual involving the word “wow.” I did not need to know that.
A3G – “Your print-making studio is amazing, Jack! But not as amazing as the way I can tilt my head forty-five degrees to the right and keep my hair in exactly the same position!”
Baldo – Well, who can argue with that? I’d probably do the same thing.
Curtis – BACK OFF, YOU ASSHOLES! CURTIS DID NOTHING WRONG! IN FACT, HE STOOD UP AGAINST AUTHORITY IN THE NAME OF INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM! THAT MAKES HIM A GODDAMN HERO IN MY BOOK!
DT – Hey, I think Dick Tracy is off the Comic Sans! Of course, the art is still mind-bogglingly improbable and the plot is brain-scramblingly contorted, but nothing is perfect, after all.
FOOB – Oh, peachy. Not content with merely berating her ex via jabs at his age and physical condition, Lynn has decided to embark on a storyline wherein his comic-strip avatar cheats on her comic-strip avatar. Undoubtedly this will end with John being shunned by every single person in all of Ontario and being forced to flee to Siberia, where he will die a painful death from exposure, but not before having his limbs gnawed off by wolves.
GA – Blah blah yada yada, GET ON WITH IT ALREADY
GT – Oh man oh man, I can’t wait to see Gil Thorp’s mind-boggling take on illegal immigration. I might be sick and tired of the whole damn thing in real life, but Gil Thorp tackling the issue could only be delightful.
MT – Wait, what’s with panel two? I thought Madeline and her parents lived in a city!
MW – Ron knows that even when your mother is dead, it’s always good to get down and funky.
Momma – WHAT
OBH – HOLY HELL WHAT THE EXPLETIVE IS THAT
RMMD – Because, as everyone knows, the CDC will kill everyone infected with MRSA and silence any witnesses.
SM – Sorry, I refuse to believe there is such a thing as a TV show too boring for Peter Parker.
Edison Lee – can get his filthy mitts off my Star Trek, NOW.
Ziggy – Tom Wilson knows absolutely nothing about how electronics work. Furthermore, the use of the phrase “home computer” indicates that he is, mentally, stuck in 1982, which I think we already knew. Not that home computers weren’t awesome, but it doesn’t help today’s failed attempt at relevance any.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:03 am
#107 Spectacular Spider-Brick: Wikipedia references this post on Google Groups regarding Marvin’s ever-changing style:
Subject: Re: To the attention of Tom Armstrong
Date: Tuesday February 18, 2003 01:13:36 PM
Hi Rick,
Glad you enjoy and follow Marvin so closely.
You’re right, The parents looks – along with all the characters in my strip periodically evolve. I blame it on my fine art training (BFA in painting). In fine art, you’re always experimenting and trying different things. I bring this same mentality to my cartoon work.
The majority of cartoonist come from a commercial art background, and once they’ve established the design of their characters, they remain the same way for the next twenty or thirty years.
While I feel guilty for any confuse my approach may cause Marvin’s followers, I like the idea of keeping it visually interesting and not static. My wife started coloring the Sunday strips in my studio for the past 7 or 8 months, and this has taken the art to a new level.
And right now I’m playing with the ink line – deliberately making it more wiggly. I think this gives the art a more loose, spontaneous look. My natural tendency is to overwork my art. This is another reason Jeff and Jenny’s features have grown. Their hands and feet have also grown larger. This is a return to how the cartoon looked in the first few years… more comical, less anatomically precise. Over the 20 years of producing the strip, I’d gradually strayed away from the “big foot, big nose” style that I love.
I think cartoons should not only say funny things, but should look funny even without any captions. This is what I’m constantly striving for, a work in progress.
Thanks for your loyalty and preceptive eye. I’ll think about you whenever I make further changes.
Best,
Tom A.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:06 am
MST3K:
Yes! something to take our collective minds off the upcoming Lizanthony event!
Great Episodes not yet mentioned (IDT):
Jack Frost
MST3K: The Movie
The Creeping Terror
Assignment: Venezuela (Short)
Final Sacrifice(Rosdower, Rosdower, rodiley bobidy Rosdower)
Squirm
April 28th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Guys guys guys, haven’t you figured it out yet?
Rex Morgan himself is the cause of MRSA. Remember how he mentioned a few weeks ago how all those protestors had colonies of MRSA in their noses? How could he know that….unless he put it there. *dramatic chord*
He probably planned all this so he could have an exuse to snoop around in boys’ locker rooms.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:21 am
(WT)DT —
Once upon a time, there was a painter who painted some really disgusting and gross paintings. They were so disgusting and gross that everyone was disgusted and grossed out by them. Over and over and over. They were just that gross and disgusting. Then I must have eaten way too much peyote because then . . . the visions became intense and chaotic. I remember a giant Chinese horse (?) and something about a mask and Dick Tracy in a suit of armor and someone is dead but can’t really be dead because Dick didn’t shoot him in the face. And he was dancing on his tiptoes . . . Every time I think I’m coming down another wave hits me and it seems like it’s been going on for weeks but surely it’s only been a few hours? If only I could crash.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am
#137 – My experience is similar, though we finally got access to MST3K when we moved from Ottawa to Boston. One season, then it was off the air – we practically cancelled our cable as a result. I’d seen it for the first time at Sam’s in Toronto, where the video of “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die” was being played on the store monitor. I remember asking the clerk what that was playing up there – I thought it might have been store employees fooling around. Got the video, and never looked back.
As for favourites, I think Space Mutiny is right up at the top, so is Prince of Space, but Invasion of the Neptune Men is great too (”They bombed the Hitler Building! All the Hitler memorabilia! The Hitler salt and pepper shakers! That great restaurant, ‘The Bunker’, it’s gone!!!”). And The Screaming Skull deserves honourable mention, because I used a Mike Nelson line from it as my tagline on IMDb: “Flat, drab passion meanders across the screen!” Great stuff.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Phantom – What’s the deal with this unknown commander thing anyway? How do they know who to take orders from? How would they recognize him in the field?
Jungle Patroller “Sir, we picked up a some nutcase running around downtown Lambada in his pyjamas last night. Claims to be our unknown commander.”
Col. Worubu “Very good. Perhaps you can ask him about my unknown raise.”
April 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am
#139 – commodorejohn: The one for Liz is even more horrifying. Most of the left side is taken up by a close-up of Miss Lips-o-loveliness herself, smiling vacantly. That’s bad enough but what makes it all the worse is the phantom image of Baby Lizzie rushing towards her future self as if to embrace the “appealing” figure she’ll become.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:40 am
While Abbey abandoned the stakeout of the drug pushing old folks, there remains hope for justice. Remember loyal Shadow (Abbey doesn’t). Shadow the horse remained on watch. In a twist fitting a Lassie movie or an episode of Perry Mason, Sam will call Shadow to testify against Biff and Elvira. The drama that month will be thick as Sam tries to remember where the courthouse is.
BTW, Biff and Elvira turned to crime when all their chickens died. Where is Mark Trail when you need him?!
April 28th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I didn’t have cable until I went to college. So the only time I got to see MST3K were the rare occasions when we were visiting some family and an episode was on. I think the first episode I saw was a Godzilla one, not sure exactly which one.
Oh yeah, I did forget about The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. That’s a stellar one, I’ve got the DVD for that one too. Of course the movie is good (This Island Earth) and it does have a ton of great lines in it (They’re escaping under cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county).
April 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am
137: The Joe Don Baker film in question was the absurdly repetitive “Final Justice.” Go ahead on. It’s your move.
“Mr. B. Natural” is indeed the king (queen?) of the short subjects. Other high points include “A Date With Your Family” (aka How to Be a Stepford Household), “Design for Dreaming,” and the wonderfully trippy “A Case of Spring Fever” (NOOOOO springs! *whistle*)
How could I forget “Jack Frost” and “Hobgoblins”? And then, of course, there’s the bizarre and nightmare-inducing holiday tag-team of “Santa Claus” and “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”…
April 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
#138 Islamorada Girl – Yes!!!
I love how once every few months, a discussion arises bringing ‘mudges together in MST3K love.
A few of my favorites, I don’t think have been mentioned:
Puma Man
Pod People
Boggy Creek II
Horrors of Spider Island
The Creeping Terror (how can you not love a movie where the “victims” have to climb into the monster’s “mouth” because it’s too slow, screaming the whole time?)
The Screaming Skull (of course)
Horror of Party Beach
Parts: The Clonus Horror
Diabolik
Ah I have so many favorites!
I used to watch it all the time when it came on the Sci-Fi network, so I’m more familiar with Mike episodes but I love the Joel era too.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
#103 Godzooky: May I recommend the Gamera MSTs? They’re full of meat. I’m also partial to MST’s biker and beach movies.
#132 Niall:
I have the same problem when watching BBC stuff. Thank bejeeble for subtitles! However, with MST, there are tons of in-jokes that would be pretty opaque even with subtitles.
#143 gh: Wish I had some wise words to help you through your bad trip buddy. Stay away from the Foob site… okay, I admit that’s not hallucinogenic specific, it’s just good advice.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
#128 Lil: Yep, all she needs is the Endless Quiver of Arrows and she’s all set to take on Helm’s Deep.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I’m surprised no one has linked this yet. Maybe they have and I’ve missed it.
MST3K riffs on possibly the worst fantasy short story of all time: http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html
April 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
#151 was me. Where yat, friendly cookies?
April 28th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I met Mike Nelson and he says Joe Don Baker threatened to kill him and the other MST3K guys when Baker heard they were going to be at the same video dealers convention.
He says it was the only threat made to him during MST3K although he heard from the producers of some of the movies they used. They offered MST3K other movies they produced (hoping to collect a few TV royalties rights).
April 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Another MST3K short that sticks in my mind (although not enough for me to remember its title) involved a big game hunter in the ’30s whose goal was to capture animals for zoos. A healthy chunk of the short is taken up by footage of the large, muscular hunter dragging a terrified and much-smaller monkey out of a tree and wrestling it into submission, during which the wisecracks change in tone from “Here, here, monkey, you’ll be happier in a cage in Atlanta!” to “Geez, what an asshole! Leave the monkey alone, ya big bully!” (Those aren’t quotes, but that’s the vibe)
I did catch the tail end of Mitchell–that’s the one where JDB’s girlfriend (Linda Evans!!) is a high-priced escort, and whenever they disagree about something he arrests her. In fact, that’s how the movie ends–he says something, she says something, he grabs her arm and says “You’re under arrest!” and freeze!-run credits.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
#155–Is it wrong of me to think that, had Joe Don Baker actually tried to kill Mike and the other guys, they could have foiled him by running up a couple of flights of stairs?
“*Huff* Git your ass back down here *puff* ya little bastard! *Gasp* I’m *cough! cough!* gonna break yer goddamn neck! *Wheeze*”
April 28th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Does anyone know if Cow and Boy is really being canceled? Today’s strip says they’re being canceled by the syndicate as a setup for a sick joke involving a flying dead mouse, but I haven’t been able to find anything online about it. I’d hate to see it go – though some of the jokes are really flat, at other times it can be sublimely depraved.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
#156 – Paul1963: The one you’re thinking about is Catching Trouble which is an awesome short. What with that “naturist” starting fires and generally abusing animals (”What’s next; chasing rabbits on a mini-bike until their hearts explode?”). Though I think it was a bear cub, not a monkey that you’re thinking of.
The Gumby short Robot Rumpus is awesome as well, particularly if you used to watch Gumby.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Got a hankerin’ for some MST3K and hit the YouTube.
Robot Rumpus
Mr. B. Natural Part 1
Mr. B Natural Part 2
April 28th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
If this thread must end, then I have to give props to the Usenet version of the Algonquin Round Table, and that’s ratmm, aka the esteemed denizens of rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc.
April 28th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Um, ratmm.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
#139 commodorejohn-from the look of it, this is one of those stupid “suddenly we’re in a recycled strip” moments.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
’cause John’s long since retired, right?
April 28th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
122-TeacherPatti: Just a couple from me today: Let’s not forget “This is a message from the other kids in the essay contest,” and “Mom! Dad! I won the Get the Crap Kicked Out of Me Contest!”
April 28th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
DT Hi all, back from vacation. Just want to point out that creepynoeyesguy and his incredible shrinking crossbow were taken out by a longbowman.
Told ya’ so.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Why is that man in Mary Worth wearing a devil costume?