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Madre de Dios!

Gil Thorp, 5/2/08

Sorry I haven’t been covering the Very Special Story of Elmer Vargas the Accidental Illegal Immigrant, but turns out it’s kind of boring! Elmer has lived in America since he was six months old, so he’s thoroughly acclimated to the culture; this is why he invokes TV as a totem to protect him, since he knows Americans love it before all else. Still, I fear that we’re going to see the Vargases deported just in time for Cinco de Mayo next week, possibly at the behest of the blonde-haired uber-Aryan in panel three. Is that Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp? I’d say I can’t tell yet who people are with the new artist, but honestly I had a hard time with the old artist too.

Pluggers, 5/2/08

What’s the saddest possible interpretation of this panel?

  • Pluggers is a shameless sell-out, willing to take cash from any fast food restaurant chain willing to throw money their way.
  • Pluggers is too dumb to sell out, and is just throwing in names for color because it can’t conceive of a world not completely defined by the omnipresent branding of multinational corporations.
  • This family of pluggers will drive directly from KFC to visit their friend the chicken-lady while still gnawing on the bones of her slaughtered kin.

Mary Worth, 5/2/08

I’m not sure what exactly Ron is holding in the second panel, but I sincerely hope it’s his mother’s soiled bedpan, and he’s about to brain his brother with it.

144 responses to “Madre de Dios!”

  1. Harry Paratestes
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Ron’s got some odd ideas on euthanasia, considering that he’s going to smother his mom with an oversized Swanson TV dinner. Chicken and mashed potatoes in rubbery gravy will do it every time, though.

    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: How did FOOB ever achieve its prominence, when Lynn started out as such an awful artist? With such awful jokes?

  3. Weaselboy
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you continue to churn out a comic even though it’s blatantly obvious that you (and your readers) have completely run out of ideas.

  4. Harry Paratestes
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger when you take your sponge-bath from a used giant KFC chicken tub.

    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Almost made it, that time. I should have said something about Sluggo Smith, instead of thinking about my comment for a minute or so.

  6. Miss Hap
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    I thought Ron was holding a folding chair, and a chair fight was about to break out.

    Or maybe I just hoped that.

  7. Craig
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers interpretation #4:
    Secret subversives within the comics industry hoping to do irreparable damage to KFC’s image through association with obese furries.

    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    You know you are a Plugger when you plaster your face all over your comic strip web site.

    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    What happened to Miss Christian Singles? We haven’t seen them, I mean her, for a while now.

  10. Harry Paratestes
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Somehow the new GT art is growing on me; it is so repellent that it is somehow attractive. I especially like panel 3, which appears to be a study for a stained glass window entitled “St. Thorpette Being Attacked By A Space Alien’s Ship”.

  11. Mars
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Little A: Don’t let that one bad strip prejudice you. There’s some very good stuff from Lynn’s early years; you just need to find a book of it. They’re out of print, but worth the search.

  12. Mac
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, at first glance I thought Ron was about to smother mom with a pillow.

  13. Jen
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    “What’s spanish for adios?” What does that even mean? Adios is already in spanish.

  14. Diamond Joe
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Choice snark nuggets, from yesterthread direct to your grocer’s meat case:

    Archie: Wanna feel uncomfortable? Try this: the table is set up to make you, the reader, the fourth participant in this double date.

    Baldo:I saw that pose in the third panel, and got inspired.

    BB: I think Sloppy Joes traditionally have a bun involved somewhere. Love the pink apron, though.

    DtM: At least we can imagine something menacing behind this, especially with his nouveau-Marvin-esque heavy-lidded eyes and smirk.

    DT: Tonight on It’s the Mind, deja vu: the strange feeling that you’ve seen something before. Tonight on It’s the Mind… Seriously, though more comics should use this panel.

    JP: All right, now this strip is just perversely denying me Abbey’s tits. I’ll just have to take matters into my… uh, own hands. (Part 1 of this tale can be found here.)

    MF: And the long “Barack Obama called Pennsylvanians ‘bitter’!” nightmare is over. Next week: four days on argula.

    Zits: Dave Eggers in high school.

    Amused me: Bizarro, PBS

  15. Corkey
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: I was going to point out that actually “Adios” is spanish for “adios” but then I realized that they’re in Milford, where the laws of physics don’t apply, so why should the rules of language?

  16. Buck Ripsnort
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    “What’s Spanish for ‘Adios’?”
    There’s a question that will haunt the rest of the night?

  17. Diamond Joe
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    #13 Jen:

    It’s a, I say, it’s a joke, son! [/foghornleghorn]

    Just not a particularly funny one.

  18. bats :[
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Miss Hap…I thought that was a (badly-drawn) folding chair and we were going to be treated to some WWF-esque smackdown fun with The Pug Ugly vs. The Ugly Pug (from left to right).
    Man, I have a lot of catching up to do; at least RMMD turned boring. Hey, did anyone miss me? I played a “Count Money” slot machine in Vegas (the closest I could find to either Rex Morgan or Count Morgu), and I came out $5.30 ahead. Woo! (The Star Wars slots are still the best.)

  19. Corkey
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Also, look in that plugger car. That’s a bear married to a rabbit! What madness is this?? What kind of deformed half breed is their child?? What’s next, the Rhinos breeding with the dogs?? We’re all doomed!!

    On a side note, there’s also a McDonalds in the background. Pluggers are corporate Whores.

  20. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    That would be a huge bedpan, and I’m having a late dinner now, so I’ll pass on that interpretation.

  21. Matt Algren
    May 2nd, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, sometimes it’s the simple joys that make life worth living. Joys like sitting down to a good wholesome breakfast of scrambled eggs and two strips of bacon, feeling the morning sun on my face, and opening up the newspaper to the comics section and finding out what that old Marmad–OH MY GOD THERE’S A DEAD WOMAN IN MARY WORTH!!!!

  22. Anonymous
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    While it looks like Gil Thorp’s new artist is pretty decent at drawing cars, they seem lost by the basics of human anatomy. That’s right, Gil Thorp has crappy art. In other words, there’s nothing to distinguish this particular strip from every other Gil Thorp since the Carter Administration.

  23. Master Mahan
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Err… that Carter joke is mine. Sorry.

  24. Weaselboy
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    FC: Don’t turn around, Dad, or you’ll see that Dolly is openly mocking you.

  25. Josh
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    #19 Corkey — Actually, I’m pretty sure the bear-man plugger’s wife is a kangaroo-lady plugger, which is even more horrifying. Sure, bear-on-rabbit is disturbing, but at least they’re both placental mammals. I don’t even want to know how bear-kangaroo sex works.


  26. Weaselboy
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    More information on bear-kangaroo sex can be found on the internet.

  27. Uncle Lumpy
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    #21 Matt wrote:


    Yeah, but don’t get excited — it’s the wrong one.

  28. Harry Paratestes
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    Well Josh, it may be a dubious honor, but you’re now the top hit on Google for ‘bear-kangaroo sex’. One day, millions of furries may sing hosannas to you for your selfless conception of such an act. ;-)

  29. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    #23 Master Mahan:

    While it looks like Gil Thorp’s new artist is pretty decent at drawing cars, they seem lost by the basics of human anatomy.

    I gotta admit, I love the intriguingly glinty eyes of the New Thorpians. I admit… I love the new artist!

  30. Harry Worth
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I was hoping that the brother was going to pick up a pillow and euthanize mama.

    Ah, one can dream.

  31. Rusty
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    #11: I’m calling bullshit on the “Lynne was a genius in the past” idea. Every throwback strip featured in the past year has sucked balls. Seriously, this strip would never get off the ground if introduced today. (I’m ignoring all the obvious dreck that has gotten syndicated recently, but still).

  32. dyslexic dog
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    R: You killed Ma!
    R: Nuh-uh, you killed Ma!
    R: Yah-hanh, you killed Ma! (swipes at R with folding chair)
    R: I said first, you did you did! (pulls out shiv)
    R: You always get your way, meanie! (stabs R with leg of chair)
    R: I’m telling! Ma! Ma!
    Ma: Boys, boys, looks like I’ll have to sic the crocs on you again.
    Mary: Please, Donna, don’t exert yourself. As Edgar Allan Poe so eloquently put it, “Human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active – not more happy – nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.”
    Ma: Gimme that chair!

  33. Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Given that seal-penquin sex was in the news today, bear-kangaroo sex may be possible. My guess, though, is that consensual bear-kangaroo sex is less likely.

  34. bats :[
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    24. Weaselboy: I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that! The little pony-tailed troll deserves anything and everything coming to her…

  35. True Fable
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    #31 Rusty – I second that call for bullshit! Seriously, the only reason she was given a break was because she was a woman who could draw, at a time when the syndicates were eager to cash in on the FLUKE that was Cathy Guisewhite’s success with her horribly drawn Cathy. Wowee gee, girls can draw! Who knew? – which is just Wrong, because there were other, BETTER women artists (hello Dale Messick!) at the time, they just weren’t ballyhoo’d.

    Sure, Lynn improved over time with her artwork and her story – for a while – but then that all went into the dumpster when she started believing her own hype, and made her characters magically come up smelling like roses in Every. Single. Instance. Of. Trouble.

    And Rusty is right – just look at every rerun that has been coughed up so far. The artwork didn’t improve for quite a while. It looks as bad as Close to Home or Quigman’s, which is pretty damning, I realize.

  36. Rusty
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    35: It’s not even the rudimentary drawing that irks me, as it is the total lack of bringing the funny. It has never been much of a yuck fest, but damn it just reads like a complaint-a-day calendar. I first started following it when Michael was in middle school-high school, and hadn’t seen the early work. Color me unimpressed.

  37. Poteet
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    GT — Good God. This is my first experience with the new artist, and my eyeballs are jiggling.

  38. dale
    May 2nd, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    17. Diamond Joe — GilThorp — Spanish for adios

    I agree. Although I thought it was funny the first time I read it. Elmer is not a complete idiot except for the part where he confided in Branden.

    I have since remembered that Elmer doesn’t speak
    Spanish, Branden does. She was going to take care of that when they got to Ecuador.

  39. Pirate Nun
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    While it looks like Gil Thorp’s new artist is pretty decent at drawing cars

    …provided the Vargas family is driving a 1988 Lada

  40. Perky Bird
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth– How sweet! Ron wants to take his mother on one last toboggan ride on that big, blue sled. Considering that it’s May, he may have a hard time, though.

  41. Poteet
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Please pardon my first (modified) necropost, which I couldn’t resist:

    PLUGGERS — Finally I understand the name of this strip. It refers to what all the characters are determined to do to their arteries.

  42. Ace Diamond
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    While he’s cutting off his mom’s life support Ron’s going to hope she wakes up so that he’ll be able to speak to her last and thus win the argument with his brother

  43. Tats
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Man, you know Mary Worth is getting good when they skip the platitudes and bust out the folding chairs, WWE-style. I can’t wait for the strip where Mary power-bombs Donna Amalfi through the Spanish announcers’ table.

  44. Tats
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    A3-G: Call me crazy, but that vest is up to no good.

    S-M: Man, crime runs rampant through the city and Peter Parker is bedridden by the flu. The Spider-Man strip hasn’t been this exciting since Spidey had to put off his corralling of The Human Fire Ant due to a particularly nasty paper cut.

  45. commodorejohn
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    #31 Rusty, #35 True Fable – Amen. While the women’s lib movement did accomplish some good things, it also had the profound negative effect of sticking us with thirty YEARS of Lynn Johnston and Cathy Guisewite.

    Although I am actually of the opinion that the art in FOOB has devolved in those thirty years. Sure, the drawings are much more complex now, and (assuming everyone in Canada is a giant potato-nosed lardass) more anatomically accurate, but the old style was at least pleasing to look at; new FOOB looks like ass in both a literal and figurative sense, especially because there is apparently no such thing as too much halftone in the Great White North.

  46. Mr. Wuxtry
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    13,15,17, etc. — GT — Spanish for “adios” seems to be a joke, all right, and not a very funny one. But by Gil Thorp standards, it’s falling-down-on-the-floor hilarious. As Dr. Samuel Johnson, or Boswell, or somebody, said: “A woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all.”

  47. Girl Reporter
    May 2nd, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    45 commodorejohn. I am well past my bedtime and sort of in my cups, so I am fightin’ hard to keep this friendly and civil and loving, especially since I’m a grown woman who calls herself Girl on the internet.

    Women’s lib (or lip, as I prefer) caused you 30 years of Elly and Cathy (who(m) I hardly can suffer), while millennia of patriarchy (and I sure do love me some patriarchs) caused, oh, you know [insert list here].

    So I’ll just smile gently and offer the popcorn.

  48. terrene
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Soon the creator of FBOFW will run out of ideas and resort to stealing the infuriatingly pointless puns from Pluggers.

  49. commodorejohn
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    #47 Girl Reporter – I dunno, I’m not sure even patriarchal dead wood like Marmaduke can balance out the active loathsomeness of those two…

    (I am just kidding, of course, but you probably knew that ;)

  50. Doug Puthoff
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]


    FC–alternate caption: Gee Dad, nice butt.

  51. Stev0
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    Don’t be so hard on Pluggers. If it were Herb and Jamaal, they would be saying “Want to go to that fast food place that’s known for chicken?”

  52. Donald The Anarchist
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    MW Now it’s time to play WWLD (What Would Lynn Johnston Do?)

    Richard, trying to defuse the situation, removes the tray from Ron’s grasp. Ron’s sullen thougts in the final two panels: “I’ve just been de-trayed. So why do I feel BE-trayed?” It will help if he’s looking at the floor in the final panel. Plus he should have a nose shaped like a potato.

  53. Lou Shumaker
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Now, guys, remember that, in a just and perfect world, the mediocre of all races, creeds and colors would have a chance to rise to the top.

    Even Canadians.

    They all shall be judged, not by the content of their character, not by the quality of their work, but their ability to churn out the glurge, day in and day out, whether it’s funny or not.

  54. Hawkeye
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: They’re breaking out folding chairs now? Wow, that’s certainly a step up from the slap fight they had a week or two ago.

  55. commodorejohn
    May 2nd, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    #51 Stev0 – Actually, for me anyways, “that fast food place that’s known for fried chicken” brings back memories of Kids Nights at Hardees, back before they dropped fried chicken from their menu. There as much grease as there was chicken in tha stuff, but combine it with the Made-From-Scratch Biscuits and damn did you have a good meal.

    #52 Donald The Anarchist – You’re forgetting the part where theyfind out that it was actually Therese who pulled the plug on her mother the whole time.

    Is it just me, or does anyone else read Josh’s “the accidental illegal immigrant” up top and start imagining a Don Knotts movie?

  56. commodorejohn
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    Bleah, typos. “her mother” != “their mother,” and it spoils the joke at that.

  57. bats :[
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    A few Saturday observations:

    MT: go, Andy, go! Once more, to the rescue, for a freakin’ bowl of kibble…

    Yeah. Well. That’s about it.

  58. Ace Diamond
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Any more of these bad puns and the entire Foobiverse will feel the wrath of the PUN-isher, greatest literary superhero of all time!

  59. zenvelo
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    of course the blonde in GT will rat out theVargases: that’s Ann Coulter moonlighting as an coach of the aryan athletes.

  60. Poteet
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    # 52 Donald — I think your WWLD game is clever, and I thought I’d try it myself. But as I squinted at less-than-wonderful strips trying to come up with less-than-wonderful last-panel puns, I felt a deep depressing fog rolling into my brain, paralyzing not only synapses but the will to live. It was awful. Maybe for some of us, trying to come with last-panel puns day after day, year after year, would be hazardous to mental well-being. Maybe really, really hazardous. Retire, Lynn!

  61. Poteet
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    # 60 — Oh lord, that was not a good mistake to make, especially here. Come up with, come up with, come up with. I’m going to bed.

  62. True Fable
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    I got them Pollen Springtime Blues.

    A3G Jones has guessed that Alan has been prostituting himself to people with a hankering for Bland White Guys. Run by the Madam himself, Anthony Caine.
    Cathy (Must Die!) 1 starburst frame, 4 panels of flopsweat. Good lord, woman; wring yourself out and shut up.
    Curtis I know he’s leaning against the door in that last panel, but it just looks kind of dumb.
    (WT)DT Awww. Liz kisses Dick. At least that’s what it says on the men’s room wall.
    FC I’d rather see how it got that way. Or, I’d really rather see some other comic in this one’s place.
    FBoFW There is no happy in Milborough. Only miserable people making other miserable people even MORE miserable.
    FW So, next week we’ll get Funk’s over-the-top reaction to an unflattering article about him? Okay, I hope it really beats him down.
    JP Is that a promise or a threat?
    Luann Evans, PLEASE have someone other than Bernice knock this little shit off her pedestal.
    MT “…AND you’ll have the chance to sire some puppies! Pretty sweet deal, huh Andy?”
    Marmadick “Whuf-up”? I dunno, whuf-up wit’ choo?
    MW You didn’t think you were going to get out of listening to Mary’s meddling THAT easily, did you Ron?
    Phantom Oh good grief. Let’s just undermine the whole “sisters are doin’ it for themselves” vibe by turning them into daydreaming romantics. Next adventure, PLEASE.
    RMDS I miss June’s rack!
    6Cx This artwork is terrible! And this strip got syndicated, why?!

  63. cublicalmonkey
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Or what if the interpretation is these pluggers really are in a “foul” mood and the implication is they’re all enormously fat because they’re horribly compulsive stress eaters?

  64. Mumblix Grumph
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    What’s Spanish for “adios”?

    El adioso.

  65. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    #60 Poteet: Snrk! heh! Actually, maybe you’ve done is just described the perfect job for chronic masturbators. Lynn’s urge to glurge has certainly been onanistic enough.

    FOOB: Holy crap, John’s just a floating head and arm in panel 4. Compositionally, this strikes me as kind of a weird thing to fudge. But for being just a head and an arm on a string, John does a pretty good exaggerated take. Hey, John, they can see that in the back row, buddy!

    GT: Gesticulation! Glittery eyes! Mickey Mantle! That’s why Whigham rocks!

  66. Canaduck
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    KFC has refused to make any animal welfare concessions whatsoever (unlike even freaking McDonald’s) and still sources their chickens from factories that scald the birds alive. Naturally, this is usually very disturbing to me.

    And yet, I’m deriving real pleasure in imagining that freaking chicken-lady Plugger being scalded alive. Is that okay? How can it be wrong when it feels so right?!!

  67. Nurse with a penis
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    MW 5/3
    There seems to a first aid kit hanging on the wall of an ICU room IN a HOSPITAL – kind of rendundant.
    The IV containers are unusually low, they may have IV bottles from the 1960s. The lines seem to just lead to the floor. Donna’s IV line seems to be connected to the oxygen on the wall behind her. They are just blowing air into her veins, hoping for a lethal air embolism.
    The room is painted a sickening shade of SALMON, designed to make people puke and WANT TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL. Oh wait, they are the color of circus peanut puke.

  68. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    A3G— Even A3G is resorting to DT/Pluggers/FOOB-style word games. A drug dealer named “Jones”. Hee, hee! Get it, get it?!

    #60 & #61 Poteet— Don’t feel too bad, it was just a small Freudian typo. Your secret is safe with us! Actually puns and orgasms are similar in one regard: people enjoy them, but are too inhibited to do them in public. I have a Cytherea as to why this is true…oh, never mind.

  69. Bobdog
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    I believe you have forgotten a fourth possibility as far as the Pluggers cartoon goes — going to get “KFC” is a euphemism for going over to the the chicken-lady Plugger’s house, forcing her at gun point to given them all her valuables and jewelry (which, as I recall, she keeps in an egg carton), brutally murdering her and then disposing of the remains with a side of coleslaw and biscuits..

  70. Bobdog
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    #26 – No you can’t actually. All you find are links back to this site.

  71. Bobdog
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    MW – Why is that guy carrying the side of a mailbox around? Is this some plot point I’ve missed from not following MW closely enough?

  72. Mr. O'Malley
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    FC: I see that “women’s lip” has not yet entered the Keane’s household. Look at Dolly’s toys—a little washer and dryer, a little ironing board and a cute tiny iron about the size of a thumbnail. What fun she must have playing with those!

    But what is that freakish thing she’s holding in her hand? If it’s to the same scale as the other stuff, it can only be a double bed. But what are those things in the middle? Restraints?

    Oh Dolly, enjoy yourself, in another ten years you’ll be married and have a REAL washer and dryer and ironing board and …

  73. mollificent
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    Yesterthread cheech wizard and commodorejohn re: Pibgorn: I’m so lost at this point, I don’t even remember who the hell Henmellyn is (say that ten times fast). I think her part in the adventure must have come while I was Internet-less last month. Errgh. Wait…is Henmellyn the murderous little sister? If she’s the one painfully ravishing Fortescue, I…eurgh. I don’t even want to contemplate that. :P

    Then again…wouldn’t the queen, like the pink-haired chick, be a programmed part of the game? Hmmm.

    Saturday snark:

    FOOB: Good God, that woman’s as sadistic as Elly!

    JP: “How about a LIFT home? I’m going your way…and I mean all the way.”

    MC: LOL! The curvature of the earth. Funny stuff. :D

    Phantom: OK, today’s Phantom is genuinely hilarious. “God help the mister who comes between me and my sister,/And got help the sister who comes between me and my man!”

    PBS: Deep, deep philosophical thoughts of deepness. Win!

  74. mollificent
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    “God help.” As in, God help me, my typing sucks. *sigh*

  75. Diamond Joe
    May 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Damn! #68 Alfred E. Neuman beat me to it!

    Archie: Archie has the well-toned quads of a flamingo.

    B.C.: I more appreciate the thought process behind this double-reverse joke than actually find it funny. But that already puts it far ahead of the Hart stuff.

    Baldo: Either his pants are falling down in panel 3, or his hips are.

    BF: I can see how this might be funny if you’d been hiding under a rock for about 15 years.

    Blondie: That’s way too tame a punchline to a merit a surprise-zing. (Is there an official term for the thing shooting out of Dag’s head?)

    Crankshaft: Looks like Don Adams is not pleased. (And in the last panel, he’s showing us ‘Shaft missed it by that much.)

    Curtis: The third panel made me laugh out loud.

    DT: Look at Tracy’s dreamy look in the last panel. Either he’s relieving himself as Liz speaks, or else he’s about to make the painful discovery that in armor, you have real trouble pitching a pants tent.

    GA: Because I liked it so much the other day, and because the situation seems more imminent, I’m repeating my witticism: Next stop for Sturdevant: a hospital bed, with a gown that’ll change by the day from “Johns Hopkins” to “Cedars-Sinai” to “Mayo Clinic”…

    GF: I found the first panel funniest. That this is even possible speaks to the effort this strip makes not to be the typical “setup, gag” kind. I don’t always enjoy the results, but I appreciate the spirit.

    GT: Fortunately for Elmer, qualification for citizenship doesn’t include an intelligence test.

    H&L: The first panel was much more interesting when I first read it as “We play with handcuffs. It’s only fair.”

    JP: Nice try, Judge Parker, but I still want my Abbey!

    MF: Because, as we know, the Postal Service makes money hand-over-fist delivering government mail.

    MW: Panel 1: So, did it take her several days to hear about Donna’s condition, or just to get around to seeing her? Panel 2: Geez, Mary, could you at least try a little not to look like you’re getting a schadenfreude high?

    PMP and RLA: Caption. Unnecessary. You know.

    Peanuts: This has always been one of my favorites.

    Phantom: You know, eHarmony is a lot easier.

    Pluggers: And the most important piece of exercise equipment a plugger has a defribulator.

    PC: Is it a bad sign for me that this strip has been occasionally amusing me lately? I especially like the big “Depends” logo.

    SS: I have a non-electric doorbell, and I live in an apartment building in Los Angeles, for pity’s sake.

    S-M: Oh, yeah, I can’t tell you how deep and restful my sleep is when I have the flu.

    TAS: “Milk factory”?

    Also amused me today: Diesel Sweeties, Dilbert, My Cage, Rubes

  76. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 3rd, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]


    A3G: The question is, which will find Alan first: a jail cell, or Jones’ AK?

    Marvin: In his panic, Marvin seems to have forgotten that he can actually speak now.

    BC: D’oh!

    Phantom: When Kawa says she thinks the Unknown Commander is a god, how literally should we take that? Does she expect him to turn into a swan and impregnate her?

    JP: “Mom’ll probably send a load of buckshot flying at your head, but just keep smiling at her.”

    BSt: “Why yes, as a matter of fact it is pretty darn big. I’d say ten inches and change. What are you taking off now?”

  77. Arglebargle
    May 3rd, 2008 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    Luann: Bad Puddles! Bad puppy! Making me laugh at Luann! Bad!

    RMMD: Look out, Rex! June has caught ZOMBIE!!

    Get Fuzzy: While I hate Bucky’s politics, I love his insults.

    Crankshaft: “Why did you even let him into the house, period?!?”

    FOOB: Bad Lynn! Bad cartoonist! Making me laugh at FOOB! …Hey, is it me or did the moon just turn to blood? OH GOD IT’S THE HORSEME

  78. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    #72 Mr. O’Malley Re: FC— It looks like a toy side-by-side refrigerator, but I appreciate the creativity of your bed-with-restraints concept. And Dolly, you sure are dumben.

    #14 Diamond Joe Re: JP— I think having Gloria’s buns instead of Abbey’s tits is a reasonable trade-off. Of course, if we could have both….

  79. mollificent
    May 3rd, 2008 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    77 Arglebargle re: Get Fuzzy: You’ve put your finger right on it, methinks. I feel the same way. :)

  80. Anonymous
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    RwO – If Lynn Johnston engaged in this kind of open hostility, we’d all be so much better off.

    Mary Worth – Are we still on this damn plotline? Bring back the beagle!

    Mutts – I’ll say it again – I know I’m in a minority, but I love me some Shelter Stories.

    FW – I hope the story ends up being a real polemic – one that exposes Funky as the asshat we all know him to be. But it’ll probably only serve to glorify him, thus feeding the monster.

  81. Old School Allie Cat
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    #80 – Crap – that was me – posting from my parents’ house.

  82. dimestore lipstick
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    commodorejohn @ 55
    Is it just me, or does anyone else read Josh’s “the accidental illegal immigrant” up top and start imagining a Don Knotts movie?

    Well, now I do.

  83. dimestore lipstick
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    That first panel of Get Fuzzy is particularly appropriate for me today, but Rob needs to quit kvetching. At least it’s 8:00, and he is working from home. I had to be in the office at 6:00am on this sunny spring Saturday.

    Welcome to the real “totem hole”.

  84. eykalid
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Actually, no sort of chicken pun is intended here. Pluggers have no way of dealing with the endless angst and depression of their futile existence except feigning excitement at the prospect of fried poultry. (Naturally, they can’t spell worth a damn either.)

  85. commodorejohn
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    A3G – What the hell? They actually referred to a common (if outdated) slang term for an actual drug? In a comic where people drink BEER brand beer? My mind is blown. And is Jones suggesting that Alan’s been pimping himself out? To support a marijuana habit? The guys I worked with in the back of the grocery store could support a marijuana habit, for crap’s sake.

    Archie – I actually got an honest laugh out of
    Archie today. Well played, ALGJU3K.

    AS – Scott Hilburn has no idea where milk comes from, and is furthermore stealing from Honey, I Blew Up The Kid.

    A.D. – I also got an honest chuckle out of B.C. today.

    Crankshaft – “My eyes are stinging. Therefore, I will pop this zit on the side of my nose.”

    Crock – I have no idea what these things are even supposed to be.

    Curtis – “I have conformed, Chutney! I will not foolishly stand up to authority again! I love Big Brother!”

    DT – Nice beak, Tracy.

    Dilbert – I am intrigued by the tiny motion lines around Dilbert’s nose as he notices a scent. Am I to infer that his whole nose moves when he sniffs?

    FC – No, Dolly. Sadly, it is not Benten. Not at all. We have an egregious lack of Benten here, is what I’m saying.

    FOOB – Whaddya wanna bet Lynn picked this one because of how goddamn creepy John looks in panel three?

    FW – So with this occurring on Saturday, I guess we have all of next week to devote to the bloody aftermath of Funky’s inevitable comeuppance.

    GA – Okay, I think we all knew this would end in bloodshed, but what I want to know is what the hell Amanda is doing in panel two. Summoning a portal to another dimension? Levitating a compact mirror? Help me out here.

    GT – Given that this is Gil Thorp, I assumed whatsername’s head was bracketed by congruence symbols, until I noticed they had four bars. I can’t wait to see Marty Moon pretending to be Elmer’s father.

    JP – Yeah, the Norman Bates vibes are coming back.

    Luann – YES YOU ARE. You’re actually about the most boring character in the entire STRIP. Even Gunther is a future ritual murderer, which makes him more interesting than you.

    MF – Mallard, sending those things out costs the Postal Service money that they don’t recoup in the form of stamps. I know you hate the entire US government except the Armed Forces with a passion, but could you at least be bothered to make some friggin’ sense? Just a little?

    Marmaduke – Marmaduke is having a seizure.

    Momma – Say what you want about this strip, but I do like Francis’s air of easy-going cheer as he announces his latest return to unemployment.

    MC – The main joke is fine, but I really like “ya mangy mutt” being used as a casual insult and being contextually appropriate.

    PC – Haha, it’s refreshing to see a Republican strip that doesn’t think NASCAR is a holy and divinely-ordained institution that cannot be scorned or joked about.

    Popeye – I read this strip just as Winamp hit “Pinball Wizard.” Panel three was thus rendered much funnier.

    RMMD – “These deaths form a smile face on the map!”

    SF – Heheh, awesome.

    SM – “Oh well, back to bed, then. What’s on TV?”

    Ziggy – Ziggy prepares to murder everyone in his neighborhood by gearing himself up for the task mentally.

  86. gleeb
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    A3G: Jones smells a rival. Will the Post have a headline: “ARTIST” SLAIN OVER DOPE?

    Steve & Gloria’s legal love affair: I don’t think Steve’s twisted, gun-wielding mama is going to take a shine to Gloria.

  87. commodorejohn
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Damnation, gotta learn to keep better track of my tags.

  88. Anna
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    This is not exactly relevant, but I just wanted to say that I miss TDIET. Those wonderful Scaduto-isms were always my relief from a particularly bad Pluggers. RIP Al.

  89. Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

  90. Ianscot
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Luann’s so boring, she apparently has taken off her pants for today’s “strip.” Either that or she’s wearing a pair of skin-tight, white white white stretch trousers in that first panel today.

  91. Ianscot
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail has secured his own forehead in the ceiling harness of his manly car, but he leaves Andy belt-free with his elbows over the seat?

    The joy I get from the Bollywood-style eye closeups is somewhat diminished when it’s Mark we’re lurching in on, frame-wise. Cherry’s the absolute best. Someone should set these strips to music for us. It fits the genre so well — right down to the prohibition against actual kissing.

  92. Tats
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I think this thematic FOOB trip into dentistry is just to remind us that with John’s retirement from the craft, Elly’s expanding body and hostile demeanour, Deanna’s marriage to a narcissist and Liz’s impending nuptials to a eunuch, there’s not gonna be anymore cavities getting filled in this strip for a looong time.

    FW: In any other strip, this would have been a hilarious one-off gag. In Funky? Alzheimer’s.

    MW: Look at the grin on Mary’s face as she pats Ron’s back and reflects upon how prudent she was to crimp the tube in Donna’s I.V. and oh, maybe she’ll have an extra raisin tart at lunch to celebrate, oh but she shouldn’t, oh what-the-heck-why-not. And then she’ll pass through pediatrics on the way to the cafeteria and all of Charterstone will be stumped by the mystery of how an entire maternity ward full of babies could die of S.I.D.S. all at once. Oh, the poor grieving parents. And that’s where Mary comes in.

    Pluggers: Allow me to relate to you a conversation I had with a friend while on the bus back to Surrey. I was talking about Mary Worth’s many evil deeds (the Aldo incident, marrying her drunk friend Rita off to a motherless family to get her out of the women’s shelter, nagging Dr. Jeff home from Vietnam and then sending Dr. Drew in his place, et al) and he was like, “oh, yeah, I think I remember you linking me to that comics blog once. *pause* Can I ask you a question?” “Sure, go ahead.” “What the hell is a plugger?”

    I was at a loss for an answer.

  93. Little Guy
    May 3rd, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I hope her next gynocological exam are with instruments supercooled in liquid nitrogen.

    Big Nate: Not even the unseen but menacing Chester could get a hit off the guy? Or did he get tossed when he tried to charge the mount using the umpire as a blunt instrument?

    SFth: Sadly, Ces has lay down his instrument of mystery.

    Meta: Perhaps if we invoke the Christian Single Girl, she will appear. Or if we pray real REAL hard and rub our hands together. Or something like that.

  94. Hank
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    RE: Mallard Fillmore. A couple of things.

    First off, I don’t believe that the federal government is exempt from paying postage, as some Mudges seem to have alleged. Second, even if you don’t like the joke that ended the strip (and it was, of course, lame), the author actually made a pretty valid point about the stupidity of setting up a parallel system to process these checks when it could have been more efficiently done through the tax return and filing process.

    Finally, I really think that Josh should consider a ban on MF snarking here. Far too much of it is based on antipathy towards the strip’s politics and threatens to bring political debate into the comments section.

  95. bats :[
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    80. Anonymous re Mutts: make that two of us…I like “Shelter Stories”. Do you know if they’re based on readers’ actual adoptees?

  96. cheech wizard
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    73/mollificent: Henmellyn was Drusilla’s daughter (sort of), who died in a previous storyline – she was the blue succubus figure Dru was embracing in the flashback panel about a month ago. She was half-human, so apparently that made her mortal.

  97. cheech wizard
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    GT – “The laws are there for a reason…” and it looks like the guy in panel 3 is about to take them into his own hands, beating the living crap out of these illegals who come to our country to take managerial jobs Americans refuse to do.

  98. Ed Power, Writer of My Cage
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]


    Just popping in. If anyone wants to see how the ‘My Cage’ cast was drawn prior to Melissa coming on board, go to pur blog:

    It’s in the ‘Secret Origin of My Cage’ post.


  99. commodorejohn
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    #94 Hank – Actually, the huge majority of the Mallard snark I’ve seen here has focused on how much the strip itself sucks. There have been some times where politics coincided with that, but mostly the astonishing lameness of the strip has provided quite enough snark fodder by itself.

    #98 Ed Power – Um, wow. Thanks for making me feel good about my amateurish doodles. Your writing’s great, but I think it’s a good thing Melissa’s doing the art ;)

  100. John C Fremont
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Y’all were funny last night! And this morning!

    # 21 – Matt, you made me laugh. A lot.

    # 66 – Canaduck, you light up my-y-y-y (pause) liiiiife!

    # 85 – Re; JP – Oh, cool! She can be Janet Leigh, and he can be a legless, butch Anthony Perkins!

    # 95 – I don’t know, but I wants me a General Patton. And an Allen. I will name them George, and I will hug them and squeeze them and pet them and love them. Okay, I won’t name them George, but otherwise…

    A3G – That’s not beer. That can says “Beef.” Looks like ol’ Jones fell off the vegan wagon. Vagon.

    Pluggers (Friday) – Apparently, you’re also a plugger if your car is airborn.

    Pluggers (Today) – Jim Vogel, eh? Vogel. Vogon. Vegan Vagon Vogel Vogon. Give it to me, baby. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. (Must. Get. Some. Sleep.)

    MT – You see, Andy, where you marked all of the pet disappearances on this map? In the middle of these locations is a school. A school with MRSA. And right next to that is a van with two occupants. Andy?

    MW – Ron’s wearing Richard’s jacket. Is he the bad guy now? ‘Cause that’s the only way I can keep them straight.

    Phantom – Someone once said, “I happen to be married to the Jungle Patrol’s Unknown Commander!” Wait, was that an old jungle saying, or am I Mary Worth?

    RMMD – Aww. Rex is mumbling in his sleep.

    GT – So the lesson here is that Elmer’s not too bright.

  101. Death to the FOOBS!
    May 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    No more vile “classic” shitbag strips, or new ones, for that matter. I don’t see how this strip was EVER considered any good, then or now.

    I wonder if she knows how crazy-making this strip is?

  102. Brick Bradford
    May 3rd, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    I dislike Mallard Fillmore, not because it’s to the right of Darth Vader, but because IT IS NOT FUNNY. Al Capp at his peak made Tinsley look like Abbie Hoffmann, but L’il Abner was FUNNY.

  103. queek
    May 3rd, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    I laughed at Garfield today. I’m afraid to look outside in case there are airborne swine.

    I’m still giggling everytime I think of the word “abort”

    Every so often, Cul de Sac slips in a good one, and today was such a day. I also really liked the headstones in Non Sequitur and the visual pun in Speed Bump.

    RwO: now there’s an original punchline. . .

    C&B: if this is the actual end of the strip, its a heck of a send-off. Anyone have any news on this either way?

    Frazz panel 2: win! This really is a very well done strip.

  104. Spike
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    #73 mollificent: Re: JP: LOL. I had the same thought, and someone else beat me to the “Psycho” reference. Ugh!

    #75 DiamondJoe: Re: MW: You’re so right! May’s losing her “meddling touch’ if she now allows days to pass without sticking her nose in. Horrors! ;-P

    #81 OS Allie Cat: Re: Mutts: 4 out of 5 of our pets came from shelters (one was a stray we took in), so I agree with your post. BTW Mrs. Spike says that Adoptee #1 was a genius, as she made Adoptees 2-5 possible.

    #85 commodorejohn: Re: FWWell, Batiuk has to bring Tony Montoni out of retirement somehow, Ne c’est pas? We’ll all be lucky if TB can do Funky’s comeuppance (as far as the pizza magazine article goes) in only one week.

  105. Sarah Marie
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Curtis– You know, Dad, a simple “no” would have done.

    Bizarro–What the hell is with putting an eyeball, a peice of pie and a stick of dynamite in every comic??? And the stupid K2! They’re starting to drive me crazy.

  106. Sarah Marie
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Curtis– You know, Dad, a simple “no” would have done.

    Bizarro–What the hell is with putting an eyeball, a peice of pie and a stick of dynamite in every comic??? Maybe the cartoonist is trying to say “Watch out, I’m going to blow up a pie factory.”

    I’m sorry for the double post.

  107. Alt Comix
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Whew! Bats:[ is back. My morning comics are looking cheerier again.

  108. electro
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Rabbits eating chickens. It’s one of the signs of the rapture in the bible. Look it up.

    Also, I’ve been to plugger-land. Referencing KFC isn’t some kind of corporate sell-out; it’s just part of the language. They wouldn’t have a way to say ‘Let’s go get some fried chicken’ without mentioning the name of a large corporation. They certainly wouldn’t know how to make fried chicken at home, although their grandparents might vaguely remember that it’s possible. Oh god I’m depressed.

  109. Loramir
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy makes no sense today…not that this is anything new.

    Panel 1 is just scary. I like how his eyes are two different shapes. And Lector’s been surrounding himself with beauty…by commissioning hideous paintings? And by kidnapping, old, male civic leaders?

    And I’m sorry, Liz, but what exactly has Dick done to warrant getting kissed here? He stowed away in a huge horse, dropped his gun, and bumbled around in a suit of armor for a while, getting shot in the arm.

    Dab Stract’s the one who saved the day here…seems like you ought to be kissing him, lady. But I guess you’d rather kiss old square-jaw Dick rather than poor deformed Dab…

  110. The Sparrow
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    FC: When I first read this, I could have sworn it actually said “It’s only beaten … which would make this comic far more disturbing than it is already. Perhaps I should have been wearing my glasses at the time. Also, to make today’s FC funnier than it should be, just imagine that Dolly is wantonly destroying actual household appliances of a tiny race of humans… or that she is actually a giant, a la some episode of the Twilight Zone.

    GA: If I understand correctly, did these hill-folk just express their intention to violate Sturdivant? Help, Maw-therrr…

    S-M: This becomes funnier if you imagine that Peter’s horrible pj’s are actually a pinstripe suit.

    More snark to come later… for now it’s time for lunch.

  111. Calico
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    #101 – Crazy-Making, as in bitter, contentious, agressive, uncreative management style Crazy Making?
    Works for me.

  112. Calico
    May 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    MT – And poor Andy is thinking, “Oh Shit.”

    FC – Where are your little play people, Dolly? Did you eat them, or are they victims of the mortgage crisis?

  113. Ukulele Ike
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Brick Bradford @ 102: IMHO, Al Capp at his peak was al Capp circa 1953, and back then he was fairly liberal in his political and philosophical outlook. See the first episode of the Shmoos’ first appearance….the episodeof the Bald Iggle, who made people tell the truth….and any cameo by the odious capitalist pig General Bullmoose (“What’s good for Bullmoose is good for America!”).

    Capp became a right-winger in the 1960s, purportedly because he liked young poontang and the hippie chicks wouldn’t do him. By that time, and until his death and the end of the strip in the mid-’70s, the writing was much inferior to that of the 1940s and ’50s.

  114. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 3rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    #55 commodorejohn:

    Is it just me, or does anyone else read Josh’s “the accidental illegal immigrant” up top and start imagining a Don Knotts movie?

    Oh geez. Now I’m having memories of Phil Collins braying, “It’s no fun, being an il-lee-gal ay-leeyun.” Curses upon you, commodorejohn!

    #93 Little Guy:

    Perhaps if we invoke the Christian Single Girl, she will appear. Or if we pray real REAL hard and rub our hands together. Or something like that.

    I do believe in boobs, I do, I do, I do believe in boobs. Refresh… “Elderberries is back”? “Need to create a blog”?… what th’? Dammit to hell!

  115. commodorejohn
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    #113 Ukulele Ike – So he pulled a Johnny Hart, basically?

  116. Brick Bradford
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Ike–thanks. I’m afraid my L’il Abner reading was limited to the late 50′s and the 60′s. But even then Capp was far funnier than Tinsley–and much more biting. Remember Joanie Phony? Late in the run of the strip Capp seemed to totally lose it and it wasn’t fun any more.

    I will say one thing for Tinsley–he can draw him some anthropromorphic duck.

  117. Little A. of The Bronx Jungle Patrol
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: In defense of FOOB, there was a time, for quite few years, when this strip was very good, even excellent at times, funny, touching, drawn nicely, etc. It has not always been nauseatingly sentimental or stupid. It had quite a long good run. Are we willing to admit that? IT HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN AS SHITTY AS IT NOW IS.

    Having said that, I invoke that old bit of wisdom, which applies to bosoms, economies, egos, trees, penises, reputations, etc. : What goes up, must come down.

    I think Michael Patterson quoted that, at the beginning of his fist novel, Sunset Sludgebucket, or whatever it is titled.

  118. Islamorada Girl
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Say, what IS Alan of 3G’s choice of “stuff”? I think he shoots Oxycontin and Nyquil.

  119. Calico
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    #114 – Braying – Hahahah!

    I love the 3 G’s, but that song and the lyrics are really quite dopey.

    “A pink one, a red one, the colors you choose…”

  120. Little A. of The Bronx Jungle Patrol
    May 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    ONE BIG HAPPY: I have been a fan of this strip for years, but I have noticed, lately, that the humor isn’t quite the same, something has changed, something has altered a bit. Has anybody noticed this?

    Also, if anyone hasn’t anything better to do, here’s something mathematical, to determine what the crappiest cartoons in America are today, statistically: this can be determined by calculating the number of CURMUDGEON MENTIONS that have appeared in this blog. Therefore it may be determined that, inversely, Doonesbury is one of the most admired strips because it is hardly every dumped on here. DT, GT, A3C, etc. are mentioned very frequently, along with MW and some others — which one is mentioned the most?

    Of ocurse there are some terrible strips that are hardly ever mentioned because they appear in so few papers.

    Has this ever been done or attempted?

    Can this be done easily?

  121. Poteet
    May 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    # 120 — Little A, a very interesting idea. I’d like to see the results. However, I have mentioned PBS several times, mostly in terms of worship, whereas I have never mentioned Doonesbury. And while I like both, I like PBS more, at least for now. Hmmm.

  122. dale
    May 3rd, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    120 – Little A.

    I don’t think the number of mentions proves anything. There are a number of strips that I don’t care for. Telling you 9 days out of 10 that Lio wasn’t worth the effort to figure out the “joke” that day is neither constructive nor amusing.

  123. Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
    May 3rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    #51 – Damn, beat me to it. By several days. Well, I’ve been out of town, OK?

  124. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 3rd, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    #120, #121, #122: I think that for a comic to get frequently snarked on here, in my experience of this blog, it has to be bad in a particular sort of way. A sort of tickle-the-collective-curmudgeon-funnybone way. What follows is a transmittal of our responses to a sort of zeitgeist of inept comics… I dare say.* Part of it, I think, is due to Josh directing our attention to strips that we normally wouldn’t see, functioning as our arbiter of bad taste (all hail Josh, Arbiter of Bad Taste!).

    I’ve certainly developed an affinity for some of these clunkers. When I first started lurking here, keeping up with A3G, MW, DT, and GT felt like a chore, instead of the succulent multidimensional ritual it has since become.

    *tip o’ the spotted hat to Red Greenback

  125. ChattyGenes
    May 3rd, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    To #114 Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed

    “I do believe in boobs, I do, I do, I do believe in boobs.”

    The thread is dead by now, but I just had to thank you for the laugh I got when I read the above!

  126. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 3rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    ChattyGenes! Anytime I can make you snicker is a feather in my cap!

  127. Curmudgeon Curmudgeon
    May 3rd, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    You complain when Herb and Jamaal go out of their way to avoid brand names, you complain when Pluggers use them. Have you no decency, sir?

  128. queek
    May 3rd, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    It should be reiterated that many a strip gets mentioned here for being good, such as Lio, My Cage, PBS, Frazz, and F- once every two weeks or so. While much of the bile is directed at the obvious targets, there are some positive comments involved as well.

  129. Harold
    May 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I love the camera angle in panel 2 of Gil Thorp. That POV cannot be achieved simply by lying in the street. We must assume that the observer is peeking up out of a manhole or a sewer grate.

  130. Shmork
    May 4th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Bears mating with rabbits who eat chickens: ABOMINATION

  131. Unwinder
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS: Sure, it seems like Pluggers sold out here, but it wouldn’t be all that much better if Pluggers took the Herb and Jamaal way out and said it more like, “How about we pick up a round cardboard container of that deep-fried food everyone is talking about from that fast food chain that we like?”

  132. Jesse Cline
    July 16th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    “This family of pluggers will drive directly from KFC to visit their friend the chicken-lady while still gnawing on the bones of her slaughtered kin.”

    Somebody please draw that up…

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