The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Alan on the night shift

Apartment 3-G, 5/15/08

Wacky antics Alan will be getting up to now that he has access to the Mills Gallery after hours:

Turning the place into a meth lab
Turning the place into a dope salesroom
Sitting around and getting high on rock
Sitting in Margo’s office and masturbating, while shouting “Oh, Margo! Tell me how far behind schedule we are! Tell me I’m a screw-up! Berate me! Point angrily at me! Yes! Yes!”

Dennis the Menace, 5/15/08

“So you see, my life is dominated by making one person do things he doesn’t want to do, and making another stop doing the things that he does want to do, to the extent that I have no idea what I want to do any more! That’s why this teacup is full of gin.”

Pluggers, 5/15/08

Pluggers think that going to a store that doesn’t sell beer or guns is a big God-damned waste of time.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 11:36 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dennis the Menace, Pluggers.

212 responses to “Alan on the night shift”

Mac
May 15th, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

Wait a minute… Is that a person of color in Dennis the Menace, or just a bad coloring job?
Rachel211
May 15th, 2008 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Give Alan some credit! He’s obviously trying to get off the junk – see, he’s already got the shakes!
SaberChick
May 15th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

mooshakes says:

May 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
You mean this gay bar / bakery?

http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/review.asp?id=14944

“If you’re going to Royal Oak to eat, but you want to avoid the pricey, overcrowded Main Street restaurants and the greasy spoons by the train tracks, go to Pronto. Brightly colored walls add to the lively feel of this often bustling restaurant. The sandwich menu is creative and fun. There’s a bakery if you just want a snack, and a gay-friendly bar with music videos. Grab a sidewalk table in the summer and watch Royal Oak’s faux-trolley go by.”

Moonshakes –

Ran across this post of yours from several threads ago – while sitting at Proto!!!

They DO have great food (their desserts are perfection) – check it out if you get a chance!!
Aesahaettr
May 15th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

You’re a plugger if the name “Smith” immediately makes you think of “Smith & Wesson.”
Jei Corsair
May 15th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Whaaat? I must be missing something because what the cashier is saying and what the caption says don’t make any sense together.

Your comment is still funny though, Josh.
ellipsiparenthabang
May 15th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Not that this is particularly flattering example of Dennis’s mom, but she’s always been my favorite hot cartoon mom. Not to be creepy, but I’m just curious, does anyone else have a favorite cartoon character (male or female) that they think is pretty hot?
Mik Holmes
May 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

The background in Pluggers makes it look a bit like there was a lot more there, it was just whited out, probably for censoring. I wonder, do pornography stores carry beer or guns?
felix grundy
May 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

I think the pluggers joke is supposed to be a play on Smith-Corona typewriters, Smith & Wesson guns, and Corona beer, with the underlying joke being that pluggers are so out of date that they still have typewriters and no one else even recognizes typewriter brand names anymore.
pigs
May 16th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

Pluggers are often mistaken for beer-swilling gun nuts.
Dr. Shrinker
May 16th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

#5:

“Smith” as in “Smith & Wesson”
“Corona” as in “that fancy imported beer for snobs who think they’re too good for Bud”

The shop owner clearly has neurological damage from years of exposure to off-brand toner cartridges.
Elderly Apple
May 16th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Pluggers also apparently haven’t made the switch from typewriters to actual computers yet, either.
Jei Corsair
May 16th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

Thanks for the replies.

#6: Hmm, I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but I agree that Dennis’ mom is one of the better looking comic moms.
Aaron T.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

6: Pretty much any female character from Judge Parker.
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

#1 Mac – Given the lack of blackface, I’m going to hazard a guess that that’s just a deep tan. I mean, maybe if everything about this strip weren’t stuck in the 1950s…

Also, I finally understand today’s Pluggers: Earl didn’t ask for beer or guns, the clerk is just making a snide remark, inspired by his disheveled appearance and the fact that he relies on justifiably obsolete technology despite the fact that he could go to absolutely any public school in the entire country and snag a discarded Mac Classic to do his typing on for nothing more than the cost of the gas it took him to get there. I think we should be applauding this strip for being the first to break the silence on the rampant anti-Plugger prejudice in this country.
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

#6 ellipsiparenthabang (fantastic username!) – I’ll have to cast my vote for one Abbey Spencer, although Calvin’s mom rocked the “dignified domestic” look pretty hard. Juliet Burber would be a close runner-up if she weren’t such an acid bitch.
gozar
May 16th, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

#6: Aunt Fritzie is my object of comic lust / love! I was pretty disappointed last summer – we usually get an Aunt F. and Nancy at the beach story line, with Fritzie in a bikini for a week or two. But not in ‘07.
True Fable
May 16th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

FBoFW Oh. My. Fucking. Word. So we continue to have Liz as the One the guys all pine for, The Face That Launched a Thousand Fwaps. This is to underscore the fact that Liz is SO DESIREABLE, men are willing to fly in from all over and are willing to WAIT for her just in case “things don’t work out” between her and Anthony.

Holy crap, what’s next? Is Paul Wright going to come crawling back, begging for forgiveness because he just can’t get her Lips of Loveliness out of his mind? And is she going to lord it over him and keep HIM dangling, too?

Then she will nobly walk off into the sunset with her Settleocalypse mate of choice, therefore earning the eternal praise from Lynn’s Minions everywhere, Kool-Aid Quaffers who recognize their own miserable, unhappy, settled existences as being so closely identified with hers.

Gah, I’m going to retch. This is just SO FUCKING MARY SUE!

Besides which… does panel one look like something a girl who just warned off a would-be suitor with her Radiating Engagement Ring only a few days ago would do, or does it look like she’s grooming him to be The Next One once she has consumed Angstony Caine’s soul?

Lynn Johnston, you fucking HACK.
Mumblix Grumph
May 16th, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Poor Alan…he’s so naive about drug culture…somebody tell him that’s not what “scoring a key” means.
turingcub
May 16th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

Bad A3G set blocking #99,000: All I need is a set of keys… and that BEAUTIFUL chin of yours! My god, let me have a look at that chin.
turingcub
May 16th, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

#6: Mark Trail, while afflicted with a severe form of Asperger’s, is probably a hot rocket in the sack (at least, that’s how Margo would phrase it.)
Dynamite XI
May 16th, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

#6: I always thought Bloom County’s Bobbi Harlow and Lola Granola were cute. Berke Breathed had a knack for drawing foxy ladies.

And I have to agree with #16 gozar…Aunt Fritzi is pretty foxy, too.
Mars
May 16th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

Now the copyright on Pluggers says “Pluggers, Inc.”

How can there be a Pluggers, Inc?
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
May 16th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

Pluggers chug beer and shoot up their typewriters for not having ribbons.
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

#17 True Fable – We used to joke about it back in the day, but now I’m seriously beginning to wonder if we’re not going to be subjected to an actual, honest-to-God parade exes, with every man who’s ever broken Liz’s heart passing through like an even more messed-up version of the trial scene from The Wall. Elly’s giant ass can play the Judge; she already talks out of it.

#21 Dynamite XI – Oh man, how could I have forgotten the ladies of Bloom County? Although I liked Yaz more than Bobbi or Lola.
Sally Villarreal
May 16th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

A plugger thinks new-fangled inventions like “computers,” “cell phones,” “antibiotics,” “air bags” and “fire” are a waster of money. They’d rather spend big bucks on eBay to keep their typewriter on life support.
bats :[
May 16th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

TGIFunnies:

BB: ya know, I’ve seen my share of cowpies, and I can’t help think that they’re a lot more innocuous than a mine.
(Those are also abysmally-drawn cows. Thank gawd for the captions.)

FC: having done two mashups of Jeffy getting run over, I refuse to do a third. What is it with this kid and back bumpers? Did he eat a magnet or something?

JP: and you just know Gloria’s grinding her heel into the small of Samira’s back. And told her that her shoes are made out of pigskin.

MT: how sad. Andy really is just a dumb dog. (After all the hype, I was sure that he at least had an associate’s degree in something…)

MW: aha! I’ve finally figured it out! With the walls that uniform burnt orange, Donna’s funeral is being held at a Mexican food restaurant. Pass the chips and salsa!

RMMD: yes, sore eyes…sore, MRSA-infected eyes!

Brewster Rockit: *snort*.

FOOB: “hold still, Warren, while I paint a big red target on your back. It was sure nice knowing you.”
blastoff
May 16th, 2008 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Seriously Mary, who gets “invited” to funerals?
True Fable
May 16th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

#6 ellipsiparenthabang – Abbey Spencer. June Morgan. Brenda Starr. Gloria “One Punch” Sanchez. The dark haired girl in Pardon My Planet.

Ohhhh yes.
christian
May 16th, 2008 at 12:55 am [Reply]

Typewriters are one of those strange areas where Plugger and retro/hipster taste combine. Mmm typewriters…
Stroker Ace
May 16th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

DtM: “And a ‘honey hole’ for Mr. Wilson”. After all of your suffering Mr. W. may you ‘cross over’ in the sweet supine embrace of smokin’ hot Alice Mitchell.
Gojira (formerly Godzooky)
May 16th, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

#6 ellipsiparenthabang: Favorites include:

Tendai’s mother in the black dress.

Rusty Duncan.

Lt. Pam Mae Snap.

And, of course, Cassandra. (No offense, Jamus)
True Fable
May 16th, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

#24 commodorejohn – I’m afraid you are right, my friend. Lynnie Baby is going to remind us all how much the Pattersons are beloved all over Canaduh, or at least Ontario. Or at least Milborough; yes, fictional Milborough. It makes me wonder if Eric will somehow make a reappearance so he can get another comeuppance.

I figured that between Bridal Showers and the Wedding Ceremony, all or at least most of the old cast might show up to pay homage to these Ideal Persons so her minions could ooh and ahhh over numerous “whatever happened to’s” from days gone by. Good lord, the number of wattles and bags and wrinkles will be enough to make a plastic surgeon swoon.

I guess if she REALLY wants to go out on a tear-jerking finale, she’ll have Grampa Jim’s funeral with old Farley jumping out to knock the old man over in front of the Pearly Gates while Elly is busy honking her potato nose into a Kleenex and snapping at April that she is an ungrateful brat.

Brrrr, it all gives me the heebie-jeebies.
PeterW
May 16th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

It took me far too long to extract the joke from Pluggers. A Plugger thinks that anyone who hears mention of Smith immediately thinks of S&W.
Dynamite XI
May 16th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

#24 commodorejohn: Ahh, Yaz Pistachio. Very likely the female Chuck Cunningham of comic strips.
Zaq
May 16th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo’s so magnanimous, deigning to allow Alan to work late.
Curtis: Ha ha! Gunk is magical! THAT’S new and unmined territory!
C’shaft: noonecanbehappynoonecanbehappynoonecanbehappy
H&J: The only reason one would “cheat” on an eye exam is if they were convinced they didn’t need glasses… and even then, they could just opt not to buy them, or not to wear them. It’s not like how you do on the eye exam determines how your eyes are. The H&J people have mixed up effect and cause. What I’m trying to say is, H&J is stupid.
GT: Panel 2 has been brought to you by special guest artist Graham Nolan of RMMD fame!
RMMD: Wait, was Count Morgu the undead one, or June? Because I’m preeeeeetty sure she wants to eat my soul in panel 2.
Zaq
May 16th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Preview before you post. Preview before you post. Preview before you post. Preview before you post. Preview before you post. Preview before you post.
Weaselboy
May 16th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

Leave it to a resident of that wine-sipping, brie-eating, Lexus-driving, Obama-voting Santa Barbara, CA, to come up with Pluggers that stumps most of us.
True Fable
May 16th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

BC I enjoyed today’s ant’s moxie!
Cathy (Must Die!) Okay, I know there are two pointy fingers, a starburst and some flop sweat today, but the greater concern is that they mentioned Cathy’s lack of Baby. NOOOOOOO!
C’haft Dammit, take those out of her hands and back to your house RIGHT NOW. Better yet, put the good ones in your safe deposit box.
(WT)DT HER?!? Oh good lord this is going to be painful for us all. But most of all, for that poor new recruit.
EC Bawahaha because this joke has NEVER been told before in the history of comics, yeah. barf.
F- What, was he hoping to lap dance his way out of a physical exam?
FC The Incredible Continuing Shrinking Children will return after these messages.
FBoFW All hail the Golden Vagina!
(WTF)GT Gil Thorp discovers Pilates.
JP Oh, how I dig Gloria’s high heeled shoe on Madam BlowYouUp’s back! Yeow yeah!
MT “Excited about seeing a friend”? Yeah, let’s try “Eager to mount a bitch in heat”. What? It’s about nature.
MW She SEEMED at peace… but she really wasn’t. Is that what you’re trying to say, Mary Killjoy?
Mutts The Dog on the Chain is the saddest character in the whole strip. Makes me want to cry. I shall have to console myself with cute goat pictures.
Phantom Oil platforms are not placed that close together out at sea. *headdesk*
RMDS Check out panel two, and June Morgan’s Lasik X-ray Vision Surgery Results!
Bobdog
May 16th, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

A real Plugger would write things out long hand and not use one of those fancy-schmancy gimmicky gizmo type-writer doo-hickeys. Clearly this some sort of poser plugger.

I think a caption along the lines of “Pluggers are old and confused” would work better — or better yet, no caption.
BigTed
May 16th, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

I’d be pretty worried about an office-supply salesman who immediately thought of guns when you said the word “Smith.” Now, if the typewriter had been a Remington….
Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
May 16th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

When I read Josh’s snark on Pluggers, I mistakenly thought that that was the actual punchline. I was so happy for a minute.
migellito
May 16th, 2008 at 2:02 am [Reply]

yeah, liquor and guns sound like office supplies. maybe it’s just me though.
jnik
May 16th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

#14: Not SO stuck in the 50’s!
Alice’s guest would be her housemaid, be at least 70 pounds heavier, and wear a bandana on her head.
For that matter, I’m old enough to remember: there were a lot more people of color in comic strips half a century ago, but none of them would be usable today.
Tom Bombadil
May 16th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

It’s not just us who find Alice Mitchell attractive, methinks, judging by the position of her girlfriend’s left arm.
jnik
May 16th, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

FW: So that’s what marriage is about? When you don’t have to leave the house to go to work anymore, the wife can’t stand to look at you.
Life sucks, then you die.
SFMarcus
May 16th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Alice Mitchell thought balloon: “My first black friend! I shall her put at ease by cracking wise and eliding vowels – plus, my clearly insider use of the word ‘honey’!”
Vakar
May 16th, 2008 at 2:18 am [Reply]

Let me recap what I’ve learned from the current Mark Trail plotline, for those not following this daily:

Give dogs as unexpected gifts.
Dogs are the cure for depression.
Let your dog out to wander the neighborhood and shut the door until it tells you to let it in.
Cuter dogs are worth more.
Spay? Neuter? Wha?

And no, no one’s been punched. Yet.
Shlomo
May 16th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Alice Mitchell is definitely more attractive than her friend who has a pile of bird shit on her head.
Mr. O'Malley
May 16th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

I wish I still had a typewriter. They are much easier to use to generate nice neat labels for things like CDs or packages to go in the mail. When you’re just doing one, it’s hard to get the alignment right in a printer.

That said, what would Pluggers be wanting a typewriter for? I can’t think of any possible use for a typewriter in the Plugger universe.
Diamond Joe
May 16th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

B.C.: I kind of like this switcheroo on the expected punny punchline.

BB: Camp Swampy had a live minefield? That’s kind of taking verisimilitude in training a bit too far, innit?

Crankshaft: Why the look of horror? Grab ‘em back, you puss! You think you can’t take her?

Foob: So, we end this series about Warren the semi-stalker with… Liz encouraging him to think he’s going to have her eventually?! This series could have been funny if it had allowed that it’s a flaw in Elizabeth– a very human one –that deep down, she feels validated by Warren pining away for her forever (hence her disappointment at finding it has limits). But with LJ clearly feeling all of this is right and normal, it’s just plain irritating.

GaBI: Rather than finding this funny, I can’t help thinking about things the father could have told the kid that would warrant that reaction.

Heathcliff: I like the touch of the visible beard stubble grown during the round– and the double visual gag that Heathcliff has it, too.

JP: “Sorry, Steve– she snuck in through the back door!” “Hmm, a woman after my own heart!”

Momma: Looks like Death has switched from a scythe to a pickaxe.

Monty: Wouldn’t this strip have worked better on, say, Saturday?

Peanuts: Because I grew up reading it, it took a long time before I realized how brave (and dark) the strip was. Was any other strip addressing the omnipresent threat of global destruction, much less a humor strip? My favorite of that kind was the one where Linus freaks out at the first snowfall because he mistakes it for “the fallout.” All that said, it doesn’t play nearly as well today.

Phantom: The Ghost-Who-Can’t-Admit-Error!

PC: When I used to read it, years ago, I Prickly City didn’t seem any better than Mallard Fillmore in its parroting of RNC talking points. Now, it seems far more insightful– and funny –in its disillusionment with politics and its criticism of the general culture. It almost makes me want to read back and find out when it happened. Almost. But I imagine this administration has had this effect on a lot of formerly rock-ribbed Republicans: their beliefs prevent them from becoming Democrats, but they’ve lost faith in the rightness (as it were) of the GOP.

RLA: I know I’m going to use this line one day.

RwO: I guess there wasn’t enough room for the actual word, which is “constitutional.”

S-M: Spider-Man, Spider-Man/Been as pussy-whipped as a spider can.

Ziggy: Go for the eye, bird! That’ll show him!

Also amusing: Quigmans
Diamond Joe
May 16th, 2008 at 2:31 am [Reply]

#6 ellipsiparenthabang:

My most serious cases of toon-tang are, as anyone who’s visited by flickr page knows, Abbey and Maria from Judge Parker.

About ten years ago, Rose from Rose Is Rose was pretty high up there, but Pat Brady’s sense of proportion has since gone all screwy. And way, way back, before Lynn Johnston’s self-loathing created the potato-nosed, blimp-butted hag we know today, Elly Patterson could be pretty cute.

And I agree with commodorejohn (#15) that Calvin’s mom was a MILF and that (#21) Yaz Pistachio was the cutest Bloom County girl. And I agree with True Fable (#28) on Brenda Starr, who I think looks at least as good now as she ever has.

I’m with you on Alice Mitchell. She’s pretty much the last stand of the ’50s “doing housework in pearls” archetype on the comics page. And yes, it’s objectifying and atavistic and everything, but it’s sexy, dammit.

Edda of 9 Chickweed Lane has a great body and wonderful hair, but she’s way too prickly to do much fantasizing about.

Some additional easy-on-the-eyes comics women:
the girl in Diesel Sweeties
Doonesbury’s Nichole back in college days
What’s-His-Face’s girlfriend in Non Sequitur.

And I don’t care who knows it: I think (Pre)Teena as an adult (coming up in Saturday’s strip) is completely adorable.
Vakar
May 16th, 2008 at 2:44 am [Reply]

9CL: Fun as this is, can this guy bash himself for being such a twerp? Also it has been THREE days since Hillary Hahn has been mentioned. Cease-and-desist? Protection order?

A3G: This will be Ces’s next project: Do DopeRockSmack at Work!

BC: What what what!? The ant school is NOT being used to make an extreme political or theological point? But… that’s… just… what I’ve been hoping for!

FOOB: Continued in panel 5: “…especially because I have no hoooooooome!!”

FOOB: Seriously, who the hell does this? “Baby, I got no problem taking Caine’s sloppy seconds! Oh yeah, you find yourself on the rebound, bounce on over to my place.”

JP: Damn. Gloria has a high-heeled foot ON Samira, while asking Mom how she’s holding up. Most. Badass. Legal. Secretary. EVAR.

MT: Andy is “excited about seeing a friend”? Same principle that keeps strip clubs in business. NUDE LIVE FRIENDS!

Mutts: Snif. Snif.

Peanuts: You know, there are some things you don’t catch when you’re nine years old, reading a funny little comic strip with cute sentient animals.

Phantom: Thank goodness those oil platforms are so close together, you could use any dozen of them as a landing strip!

RMMD: June is always a sight for any kind of eyes. Sigh.

RIR: Other people have garbage moments? I’m not the only one?

SF: Ted is my hero.

SM: Sitcom plot #71: sick protagonist (child, superhero, drunk) schemes to evade the watchful eye of caregiver (mother, spouse, jailer) to leave the enclosure (home, hospital, jail) and have wacky hijinks and/or save the day. Damn but it never ends in the protagonist’s grisly demise.
Donald The Anarchist
May 16th, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]

A3G It’s amazing how the worry lines (or are those rage lines) just fall off Margo’s face in the second panel. Alan has obviously cast some sinister spell on our beloved Margo, and I can’t help wondering if he plans to use them to get the girls to walk around in their underwear or towels more often. We haven’t had any of that in a long time.

#6 Not sure if animation is cheating but I would vote for Leela from Futurama and the mom from the Replacements. Oh, and how could I forget Aeon Flux?
Mibbitmaker
May 16th, 2008 at 3:13 am [Reply]

Monday I’ve Got Friday on My Mind:

9CL: Here’s a response to both of you: TALK LIKE REAL PEOPLE!!!

A3G: If there’s any justice, there’ll be a little narc in that drawer.

Curtis: Wonder if he’ll hear that when he has his 1st sexual experience years later… and why?

DtM: A kid would never say that. Most adults would never say that. Only TV-bashers and greedy ad execs would say that.

DT: His wife got a really bad case of the flu just by looking at a portrait that even Basil Wolverton couldn’t do justice to!

FOOB: Give it up, flyboy! She and Blandie are the two-headed beast that deserves to be stuck with itself. NEXT!….

FW: The Men They Love Are Women’s Torment, pt. 5

GT: A “Gil Thorp” nostril shot! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (At least it’s not close-up like in Judge Parker… or the whole picture, like with Dab Stract!)

HotC: Now that hurt! Especially as an indy reader. Thankfully, my local indy-friendly store isn’t going anywhere for a long while.

JP: Mrs. Shannon should’ve done something with the furshlugginer shotgun! (and I say this as a big believer in gun control, too!)

MT: Saturday: “Andy couldn’t understand those van-dwellers’ hostility.”

MC: Don’t give Harriet Dinkle any ideas!

NS: Donald Trump would just whither away into dust.

Popeye: It wouldn’t be the 1st time Olive Oyl cuddled with the “little Popeye”….

S-M: I can hear Flattop Hitler now: “Mary Jane Parker is in cahoots with The Vulture, I just know it!”
Mr. O'Malley
May 16th, 2008 at 3:14 am [Reply]

MC: Wait a minute! I thought anthromorphism was restricted to vertebrates in this strip!

Phantom: It’s too bad there’s no place to land because the sea is so full of oil platforms.

Zits: I hope they don’t live in California, because the latest proposal for the state budget recommends replacing lifeguards with bilingual warning signs.

BC: Still funny, even though I remember a very similar joke in BaBl not long ago, something like “My daddy doesn’t know what ‘influx’ means”.

Dilbert (yesterday): I’m sure Scott Adams knows this, and it’s a very subtle poke at the dumb boss—take the 50% example, it’s equivalent to asking “If I do two coin tosses, what is the likelihood of getting at least one head?” Answer: 75%

NS: Rather humorous, I thought.

FOOB: The big problem with this punchline is that Warren is a helicopter pilot, and one of the main characteristics of helicopters is that they don’t have wings.

H&L: He’s got a very good point. But appearance generally triumphs over reality. Get used to it, Chip, the adult world is like that too.

Crankshaft: It’s the number two economic engine of Winkerbeanville.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 16th, 2008 at 3:21 am [Reply]

Friday snarks

FOOB— (Oh, crap, Mr. O’Malley beat me to this one just as I was about to post. Well, I’m posting it anyway. So there.)
The PUNchline was way off, as LJ apparently doesn’t know that helicopters don’t have wings. (Yeah, I know that technically, rotors are moving wings.) For examples of more appropriate atrocious puns, read below.

BB— bats :[ is right. Without the dialog, the “cows” are udderly unrecognizable. They look more like appaloosa horses drawn by Picasso on acid.

BC— Reminds me of a time in high school when a teacher asked me the meaning of “coincide”. I responded, “That’s what you do when it rains.” (Padumpum!)
Jane the Mostly Lurker
May 16th, 2008 at 3:52 am [Reply]

Luann: Has T.J. always been wearing lipstick and I just noticed today?

Foob: Arrggghh! Which should say it all, but I can’t resist adding more anyway. I used to act like Liz in panel one with guys I wasn’t really that interested in. But a) I was 18, not 27, and b) it was bitchy and I was a piece of shit for doing it.

And several yesterthreads ago: Vampire Weekend’s indie cred is already shot. How do I know? Because I’m a 40-something soccer mom and I heard about them for the first time from another mom at playdate pick-up time. Kiss of death, I’m telling you.
SFMarcus
May 16th, 2008 at 3:57 am [Reply]

OMG, I mistyped. (#46)

I meant to write ‘elide verbs’ – a phrase I’m not sure even makes sense, or matches the situation here. I just thought that “Honey Do” and “Honey Don’t” smacks a leetle too much of Alice Mitchell going right for the phunky phresh jugular…

Btw, #30: yes. Oh my god yes.
Cyco
May 16th, 2008 at 4:15 am [Reply]

Just looking at the Pluggers panel alone made me think the caption would be something like “A plugger home office is drunkenly discharging firearms, no matter what these newfangled ‘reckless endangerment’ laws say.”

Alternately, Pluggers are so accustomed to the “general stores” of their Depression-era youth that they can’t comprehend the concept of a store that doesn’t sell whatever obscure item they want to purchase. I mean, office supply stores only sell things people would use in an actual office? How elitist!
dale
May 16th, 2008 at 4:15 am [Reply]

Pluggers
It did take a while to put the joke together. The problem is the clerk who looks old enough to understand the question. The customer has a legitimate request.
Twenty some years ago a secretary told me that they (the secretaries) were fighting to keep an older typewriter in the office because pre-printed forms are a real pain to do with a word processor.
I would bet that Smith-Corona made guns or at least gun parts during WWII. Also IBM because it made machines, real assemblages of moving parts.
Lord-z
May 16th, 2008 at 5:34 am [Reply]

39: Dude, that caption would work for every single Pluggers comic.
Muddtallica
May 16th, 2008 at 5:49 am [Reply]

Oh, it so is gin in that teacup; what else would explain the flushed cheeks and lidded eyes? Well, it’s that or sedatives, which Alice takes daily to alleviate the pain caused by having to cope with her cat-petting, hole-digging, cute-comment-making menace of a son.
gleeb
May 16th, 2008 at 6:34 am [Reply]

A3G: He’s gonna get stoned and groove on alphabetization!

Dennis: Henry Mitchell is winding up to kick his son off the damned footstool.

Dick: This would be weak in most circumstances, but when the Chief is a woman, it’s just bad.

Gas: Amanda Lynn’s sister, of course, is still locked in the cellar.

Lola: She has no job to get to, so she dawdles. Truly an evil woman.

Phantom: Oh no, a clog in the fuel line! Fortunately, we’ve only traveled 30 yards.
Pozzo
May 16th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

As I read my comics in the newspaper, as God intended, I didn’t notice that Alice’s friend was supposed to be of another race. Looking at it in color, I’m still not sure what that race is supposed to be. The skin tone would make one think African-American, but not of her features would seem to suggest that. Perhaps she’s a Pacific Island call girl that Alice has hired for an afternoon fling. Perhaps not, but that’s the mental image I’m sticking with.
Pozzo
May 16th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

Oh, and that should be “none of her features.”
Chimakwa
May 16th, 2008 at 7:19 am [Reply]

Pfft. These midwestern-type Pluggers are wannabes. My hometown has a store that sells beer AND guns. And porn. One-stop shopping at its finest!
Old School Allie Cat
May 16th, 2008 at 7:20 am [Reply]

PBS – I get the feeling a lot of Algebra teachers are going get this one clipped out and given to them. I’d like to send it to my old Algebra teacher.

I haven’t used algebra since high school, and I never will!
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
May 16th, 2008 at 7:34 am [Reply]

FOOB: What nationality is Paul supposed to be? Native American? Indian Indian? Black? Italian? Albanian Canadian?

I hope stupid Anthony comes by as Paul is leaving and in a fit of passion (although we hardly very see any in this strip, except when the Pattersons are eating) shoots them both.

I want to see Dee in a bathing suit.
Bryan
May 16th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned Blondie Bumstead yet as a hot comic strip lady.
QM
May 16th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

Pibgorn: Please say that’s not Roger’s sister. That would be getting a tad into the creepy side of things.
Muddtallica
May 16th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Today’s Momma is such a massive tease. Goddamnit, Mell Lazarus, I actually thought Momma was finally going to die today, but no, it was just the set-up for yet another lame punchline. Ah well, looks like it’s back to good old-fashioned voodoo.

As for the “attractive cartoon characters” debate, I actually find Sally Forth and Lois from Hi & Lois to be somewhat charming, but that’s probably because there’s something certifiably wrong with me.
man behind the curtain
May 16th, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

GT — Minor nitpick but since this is baseball, in panel 3 shouldn’t the manager be in uniform?
Vince M
May 16th, 2008 at 8:03 am [Reply]

re. ‘Pluggers’ – a friend of mine living in a small town in a neighboring Southern state heard this exchange in a store:
“Hey, where do you keep shotgun shells?”
“In ‘Beauty Supplies’!”
He was the only one there who laughed.
Juniper
May 16th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

I’m trying to figure out what the plugger said to the clerk. If I were looking for this typewriter ribbon he wants, I would ask, “Do you have Smith-Corona typewriter ribbons?” I would hope this would clarify that I was not shopping for guns, or beer, or other things that happen to have “Smith” or “Corona” in the title. Maybe he just wandered into the store muttering “Smith-Corona” and the clerk is trying to confuse him so he’ll go away.
Buck Ripsnort
May 16th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

If you think a customer considers beer and guns “Office Supplies”, you’ve been waiting on too many Pluggers.
Wilbur of the North
May 16th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

Curtis, dude.. just sit back and let it happen
Mike
May 16th, 2008 at 8:22 am [Reply]

A3G- Being a recreational drug user myself I am following the storyline in A3G with great interest. I smoke cocaine at least 3 times a week. This is what I think Alan is doing but there are no visible side effects yet.
Plasma
May 16th, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

I’ve changed my mind about FOOB. I thought I only hated Elizabeth, but I hate all the men fighting over her, too. Why do they want her? She’s a terrible person. For that matter, so is Anthony, so they’re perfect for each other. I hope they both die in a fire.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
May 16th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

FOOB: I know what I am going to say will guarantee that no one will reply to any of my snarks in the future (down from the 4 per cent that get replied to now) but I think that before her double marriage lobotomy, Dee was pretty cute.
Lynngineering
May 16th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Since the infamous compositional tour-de-force of the 4th panel shock-and-awe, ring-o-light revealer day, it’s easy to compare and note these last days drawings are just a good example of LynnCo auto-pilot again.

I doubt Lynn is even on these anymore. She seems to be busy with what I can only imagine could be plans for a cross between a wax museum and theme park. That could explain why she commissions opus biographies on secondaries like Warren for the website and so on. The better for programming the animatronics necessary to act out on stage, repeatedly each day ever half-hour, Liz’s dismissal of all her male suitors.

So meanwhile in the comicstrip, it’s all just back to simple templates, with LynnCo following some kind of understanding, like jazz musicians might do, being told to “extend it for 16 bars now” or so on. Only LynnCo isn’t the same quality as a great musician ensemble.

It also means one notices those few days when time is devoted to bother with one panel, and the composition, as obviously something in the script got Lynn riled up enough. Which is the only clue left that someone is still on board at all, conducting this runaway (albeit slowwwwww) train ride through the Great Foob Escape Theme Park.
Calico
May 16th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

#6 – Abbey Spencer, hands down.

Oh, yeah, and Steve Shannon’s Mom.
AtomicDog
May 16th, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

BB – This reminds me of my all-time favorite Carnac answer:

“Sis boom bah!”
Widdle Jeffy
May 16th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

“Daddy. The car has an owie.”

“WHAT???? Thel, get your ass over here. What the hell happened? You hit someone in the parking lot!!!!! Where are we going to get the money to fix this? Huh? HUH?!?!?!?”

**slap** ** SLAP*** **SLAPP!!!***

“You aren’t going anywhere for a week.”

Your next episode of cops courtesy of the Keanes.
Ryl
May 16th, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

9CL: Poor Brooke. Did you have the dream where you didn’t study for the vocabulary quiz again?

A3G: I hope there are mice in that filing cabinet. Mice hopped up on Vague Drugs.

JP: Fourth panel: “BOOM!”

MW: Mary, you forgot to finish spray-painting your pink pantsuit for the funeral.

RMRSA: Looks like the bleach fumes are starting to get to June. Now she’s going to stumble through the halls of the infected school, imagining reunions with everyone she hasn’t seen since 1986 until they finally drag her twitching body out of a gym locker three days from now.
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2008 at 8:46 am [Reply]

#79 Little A. – Yeah, I’d tend to agree. Of course, this was back before (A) Lynn Johnston started trying for “realism” in her art by covering everything in halftone and drawing everything as ugly as possible and (B) Dee developed the Patterson Domestic Build (large ass, minimal curves, dead-eyed zombie stare.)
Weaselboy
May 16th, 2008 at 8:52 am [Reply]

#82, AtomicDog: I remember “Sis Boom Ba.” I think that might have been Johnny Carson’s favorite too, judging by the way he cracked up after reading it.
Calico
May 16th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

FOOB – Ooooh, Liz, let’s be all passive aggressive now. Cling onto his arm, dear. Like a fucking barnacle.

JP – The Left Heel O’ Justice®! My dinner invite to Gloria is still on.
Meanwhile, Steve says, “What’s that smell? Oh, right…sorry, Mom.”

MW – “You poor thing, Ron…here, follow me into this supply closet for a moment – you’ll feel a lot better afterwards, trust me.”
Ruthless
May 16th, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

I kind of like Ruthie’s mom in “One Big Happy”. But I suspect that if she was real she would never, ever have sex again.
Quix
May 16th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

“Pluggers think that going to a store that doesn’t sell beer or guns is a big God-damned waste of time.”??

Holy crap! I’m a plugger!!
rhymes with puck
May 16th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Pluggers believe that any store that doesn’t sell beer and guns is a waste of time? DAMN IT!!! Now I’m a plugger!
Calico
May 16th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

#52 – RM – Well, considering the looks of the other woman with the Page Boy haircut, after running into her, almost anybody else would be a sight for sore eyes.

FC – Jeffy, tell Daddy he can find the baseball bat under Billy’s bed.
Someone from Texas....
May 16th, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Of course, Texas is full of Pluggers.

Even in one of Houston’s hipper Inside the Loop Neighborhoods!
Whatwouldwallywooddo?
May 16th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Re: Pluggers ~ Arms manufacturer Remington & Sons developed the typewriter. See http://www.home.earthlink.net/~dcrehr/firsttw.html and http://www.twainquotes.com/Typewriters.html. A Plugger finds history interesting…but never fascinating.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 16th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

A3G: Since Alan just now got the keys for the first time, I can only conclude that he’s locking up his stash in that filing cabinet, rather than retrieving it. And he’s apparently been waiting all day to make his drugs harder to get at! Ahhh, sweet inaccessibility! ThIs aM BiZzaRrO wOrLd. ThIs aM BiZzaRrO wOrLd oN dRuGz. AnY qWeStiOnZ?

BB: Using cows to clear a minefield? Somebody get PETA on the phone. Then call Emeril Lagasse.

Blondie: “Do you think there’s another Blondie Bumstead out there too? ‘Cause technically, I’d be married to both of you… and it’s not really cheating if it’s you, right? I wonder if Trixie would change her name…” *BAP*

C’Shaft: Didn’t somebody already cheat her out of those about a year ago? Or was that some other hateful, half-senile octogenarian? There are so many in this strip I can’t keep them straight. Batiuk needs to color-code them or something.

Crock: How can these people wander through the desert with no sight of human habitation for twenty years and not be, you know, what’s the word I’m looking for… DEAD?

FC: Josh! My brain has an owie from reading this panel!

thorps. And here’s Dante Hicks to demonstrate the principle of “tell, don’t show.”

JP: Oooh, don’t be saying “back door” in Gloria’s presence. She’s got a lot of tension to release right now.

MW: I wish you’d been a better 42nd President.

Phantom: I’m sorry. I just cannot take seriously a superhero whose secret identity is named “Kit.” Somewhere on his stripey ‘tard is printed, “Contents: One Hero. Assembly required.”

RMMARIES: Holy cow, the June Jut is working overtime in panel 1! All you Lola Granolas and Blondies and Mrs. Mitchells are just imitators.

SF: Kid, you just think you know what pain is. Wait until you go to work for a boss who’s so cheap he bases his office in an apartment building so he doesn’t have to pay commercial rents, then unplugs the water heater and unscrews half the lightbulbs in the place to keep the power bill down. (I am NOT making this up.)

tAS: I’m starting to see what commodorejohn sees in this panel. The speech balloon is completely unnecessary.
AtomicDog
May 16th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

GA – “Now I won’t have to collect millions in alimony later!”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 16th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Phantom: “The engines keep vibrating and wanting to cut out… almost as if they were grinding bees or something!” Those aren’t oil platforms down there, they’re factories for manufactured drama.
AtomicDog
May 16th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Rose is Rose – Okay, I give up. Are those supposed to be eyeglasses sticking out of the sides of her face, or whiskers, or what?
Jeffsterr
May 16th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

GT:Why is Gill playing pocket pool on the pitching mound? He must get off on humiliating the A-train.
JP:“You didn’t cut the red wire, did you????”
MT:How much tranquilizer do you give to a Saint Bernard? or a Lanseer Newfy. Really, Saints have brown patches.
MW:“..what’s more she’s finally out of this comic.”
Vyola
May 16th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

#27 blastoff: Seriously Mary, who gets “invited” to funerals?

I’m thinking there’s a good chance that citizens of this fair city have learned to send Mary “save the date” cards for everything, up to and including interments.
AtomicDog
May 16th, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

#55 Mr. O’Malley: True, but “I’ll be waiting in the rotors” falls kind of flat.
ThursdayNext
May 16th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

FOOB–#80-yes, and I can’t believe nobody has noticed that Liz has lost a leg in panel one, and has regenerated it (possibly with the help of her magic ring) in panel four. You can almost see it happening via mitosis in the shadow of panel two. “I have no legggggg!”
Also, I’d reject Warren, too, now that he’s grown man-boobs in panels 3 & 4.
Clearly LJ’s band of drawing minions has been drinking, and they invited the editor, too.

FC–#38-Jeffy hasn’t gotten smaller, the Keane Family has gotten a monster truck.
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

6. Well, let’s see, there’s Dennis’ mom, Margo from A3G, Lois from “Hi and…” is pretty hot too, Edda from 9 Chickweed is great when she’s not acting all superior, which seems to be always. Let me know when Luann from her self titled strip turns 18, we’ll talk, and Ms Blips from Beetle Bailey seems like a freak, so she’s cool.
And of course, there’s Cassandra…..
Anonymous
May 16th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

DtM Why are Alice and her friend dressed up like they’re going to cruise for sailors, once they get the whole boring tea thing (and I totally agree it’s gin in the teacups) out of the way?

Oh, because they ARE going to cruise for sailors.
Brick Bradford
May 16th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

103 was me. I’m having to use Saturn Sadie’s computer.
John C Fremont
May 16th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

# 87 – “Left Heel O’ Justice.” Priceless!

Apartment 3G, sponsored by Miller brand dope.
“When it’s time to relax,
One dope stands clear,
Toke after toke…”

Foob – I have not read all of Warren’s bio on the Foob site, but I’m surprised that I have not yet come across the word “androgynous.”

MW – Whose hand is that?

DT – Send her in? Boy, I did not see that coming. Nosiree-bob.

GT – I’m assuming they’re supposed to be doing sit-ups, but those two sitting in the grass that way is one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, Marty Moon is not pleased at Elmer’s home run.

JP – I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. Or legs. Or, possibly, naughty bits.
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

6, cont. Oh yes, Abbey Spencer from Judge Parker. Especially when she’s on weed.
John C Fremont
May 16th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

# 6 – Has anyone mentioned Neddy Spencer?
Whippersnapper
May 16th, 2008 at 9:39 am [Reply]

Yesterday’s MT: I love Andy’s world-weary expression in panel 2 as Mark puts his plan into effect. “Here we go, another harebrained scheme by my moronic, weirdly asexual owner. Oh, hi strange dog. Yes, yes, let’s play. Oh, you want me to get into your van? Quelle surprise. Cripes, I could’ve been adopted by that couple with the farm, but nooooo….”
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

6 once again…: The ladies of My Cage. Even Violet T Chihuaua. She needs some Tender Lovin’ Jamus. Oh, and …
FOOB: After this week, if…or rather, when…Lynn Johnston finally puts this awful mess to bed, she could become a fill-in artist for Green Lantern. Sinestro never cowered before a glowing ring the way Warren did on Monday.
TheDiva
May 16th, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

C’shaft: An old lady is discovered to be in possession of a comic book collection, blithely ignorant of its (presumably immense) market value? Is Batiuk recycling plotlines to cut down on his carbon footprint?

FOOB: “Please, Warren, do you honestly expect me to harbor an emotional attachment to you even after I’ve committed myself to another person? What kind of selfish, immature person does that?”
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2008 at 9:48 am [Reply]

55. Technically, according to a book on aviation I read when I was a kid, and wanted to be a pilot like the chopper pilots on MASH, copter propellors are technically considered “wings”, but they’re just rotary. This was years ago, so my memory may be fading on this, any pilots out there who can confirm or deny?
It’s still a dumb line, though.
man behind the curtain
May 16th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

A3G — I don’t think Alan was keeping a stash at the gallery until Margo arrived. Then he realized that the only way he could get through the day was with a lunchtime fix.

FBOW — Look at the contact in Panels 1 and 3 and you can see the subconscious messages. They may still get it on before the wedding.
B
May 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

I don’t know what you guys think is so odd about the Pluggers cartoon. Last night I went into staples and tried to purchase a revolver and a six pack of corona. The salesclerk refused to sell them to me, though. So I burned the store to the ground.
On an unrelated note, did you know they have internet access in jails now? Also, does anybody know a good lawyer?
yellojkt
May 16th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Keeping with the Night Shift idea, Alan will turn the art gallery into an after-hours bordello. Now where would he find some hos for him to pimp? Apartment 3G, maybe?
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

PLUGGERS DON’T DRINK CORONA, DAMMIT!!!!

Plugger taste in high-end beer ends at Budweiser. Even LaBatt Blue is considered suspect. More typical chocies are Busch, Old Milwaukee or Keystone because they’re cheaper.
northwest transplant
May 16th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Adding to the confusion is that the Smith families of Smith & Wesson and Smith-Corona appear to be one and the same. Typewriter and firearms magnate Lyman C. Smith built Smith Tower in Seattle in 1914,for many years the tallest building on the West Coast. At least this is what I was told when I visited Smith Tower. The Wikipedia article on Smith Tower appears to bear me out.
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

6 – Comic hot chix? Along with the obvious ones mentioned above, I’d have to nominate Drusilla from Pibgorn, along with Pib herself, at least as she was portrayed in last year’s Shakespeare adaptation. Plus, just about any Bode broad (big surprise there).

70/QM – Speaking of Pib, you could be right. There are some definite hints early in the storyline (she says “I know what I want to be when I grow up” after seeing Dru streak across the sky, Dru detects her as a presence of pure evil). Plus, why else would the Evil Queen wear glasses? But supposedly Roger’s sister was killed on the Queen’s order, so that would have to be sorted out somehow, unless Brooke just forgot that he dropped that little tidbit in there.
Trogdor
May 16th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Luann: I’m assuming that ‘kick your butt’ is TJ’s coded way of saying ‘jump your bones.’
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 10:22 am [Reply]

116 – The Smith-Corona/Smith and Wesson connection came full circle with the invention of the electric typewriter, allowing teenage boys everywhere to draw airplanes and German soldiers on pieces of paper and machine gun them by holding down the “x” key.
Muddtallica
May 16th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Jamus the Bartender: Good gracious, man, the daily funnies page must be to you what Playboy is to everyone else. Maybe it would be more time-efficient for you to simply list all the cartoon characters that you aren’t attracted to?
Calvin
May 16th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

#68 – Unfortunately, the only thing Blandthony has ever done in a fit of passion is throw a stale cinnabun into the trash.

Did anyone notice that it was night when Warren showed up at her door, and now it is daytime when he is leaving? Maybe the alterna-foob strips were onto something?
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

MT – This little girl will not fare well in the real world. You can’t take to bed every time you lose something, honey – do you have any idea how often the average adult misplaces her car keys?
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

120 & 6 – Playboy! OMG! Little Annie Fannie and the tiny chick on the jokes page! How could we forget!?
John C Fremont
May 16th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

# 113 – I don’t know how good he is at law, B, but I know a legless lawyer who can deactivate bombs pretty well. There’s a skill that could come in handy when you go to court.
Messy
May 16th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

The REAL Alice Ketchum committed suicide.

Gas: I hope that Sturdy gets killed and everyone goes to friggen’ jail!
ellipsiparenthabang
May 16th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who found Dennis’s mom hot (atavistically or otherwise). I was hoping to get at least one person tossing their vote towards Margo, and Jamus came through. Excellent!

The other thing that I noticed is that, except for a couple of posters, everyone commented on the hotness of female characters. Are the fellows in comic strips that unpalatable, or are women just not interested in attractive cartoon men?
Joshua
May 16th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

#68: This isn’t Paul, it’s Warren. Lynn Johnston has given us no reason to think that Warren is anything other than a white person.
Justafoob
May 16th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

Once Liz went to black, she never went back.

Soon, Grandthony is going to become a dweeb of color.
Trogdor
May 16th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

Okay, it’s a bit late, but after Monday’s strip I got to thinking about how Liz charges that damn ring of hers. And so (with apologies to DC Comics), here it is:

Queen Lantern’s Oath

With dullish plots, with punny quips,
No romance shall invade these strips.
Let those who worship luscious lips,
Beware the horror … Queen Lantern’s hips!
Tonio
May 16th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

In the early days of DtM, Alice Mitchell would talk trash about her female friends and acquaintances in front of Dennis. Looking at Thursday’s entry, I can imagine Alice regarding her sexy friend as a temptation for Henry. Later she would slam the friend as a man-stealing whore, and Dennis would try to look in the woman’s basement windows to see where she is keeping all the men. Or else Dennis would try to keep his dad from leaving for work so he wouldn’t be stolen.
Edgy DC
May 16th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Count me among those Pluggers-readers unable to connect the dog-clerk’s word balloon with the punchline caption.

Here’s my submission: You’re a plugger if you don’t get the joke in Pluggers any more.
Tonio
May 16th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

#129 – Hilarious! So who in FBoFW would be Guy Gardiner?
Krazy Kat
May 16th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

In this case I’m a plugger–and add strippers to the list–beer, guns and strippers.
A topless gunstore with an on premise consuption license–that’s the ticket!
Invisible Me
May 16th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

What confuses me about Pluggers today is that office supply stores are the only places you can still buy a typewriter.

And yes, they are still necessary in some circumstances. Some courts still expect small claims forms to be completed in triplicate by typewriter on the NCR paper provided by the court, and will reject documents on plain paper. I’m sure there are other government documents that must be completed on official forms in triplicate by typewriter.

Isn’t bureaucracy fun?
teenchy
May 16th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

# 93: Apropos of nothing but your link sent me searching for info on the typewriter of my youth (which I still own), an Adler Tippa S. Little did I know that it still has a following and ribbons are still readily available (versions of it are still made in China). Meine Reiseschreibmaschine ist ausgezeichnet!
racing js
May 16th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Can some one please explain Herman to me?

http://news.yahoo.com/comics/herman;_ylt=AsKOpEUcQG.2u3F9bjk558gDwLAF
Montag
May 16th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

(FOOB): Dear Anthony, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but there is something I think you should see.
Professor Fate
May 16th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

110: Bravo!

Foob: if i didn’t know for sure that Liz was the ulitmate virgin queen I would swear this all happened after the break up sex.

“I can’t change what I am” becasuse I’m lazy fat ass set in my ways about to marry someone who will end up hanging out in barber shops a lot.

Have I said I hate this strip? Like a lot?
Perky Bird
May 16th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

Of course Pluggers need typewriters. How else are they going to write all their rambling Letters to the Editor about the guv’ment, those kids with their baggy pants, the gays, and Drew Carey replacing Bob Barker on the Price is Right?
Huntch
May 16th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

#6 Don’t forget ANY female drawn by Al Capp in the later Lil Abner strips (except of course his mother)
gkl
May 16th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Who gives directions with distances carried into decimals? Apparently Mapquest is now a plugger.

MT: This may have already been pointed out, but it’s kind of charming the lengths to which this strip will go to not use the word “bitch.” (And when I say “already pointed out,” I’m not limiting it to this plotline. Take that, non-female-dog characters!)

MW: Won’t someone drop a giant anvil on this funeral home?

GA: Crying over Sturdivant? Sell your engagement ring and buy some self-esteem, lady.
bats :[
May 16th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

32. True Fable (and commodorejohn): and, of course, there will be a little dark cloud at Liz’s wedding reception when she receives a telegram that Warren was shot down and killed in the Middle East.
To think…she could’ve been the beneficiary on his nice, fat life insurance policy. Instead, she has a nice (settled, pock-marked husband), fat (nosed- and assed- mother) life (that she’ll be regretting inside of a year).

52. Vakar: “Anthony’s sloppy seconds”?! Surely you jest, in thinking that Asshathony and Lizardbreath will actually have sex. As has been mentioned before, they already have a child in the family — why do all sorts of squinky stuff when Asshathony could be working on carpentry and home improvement hobbies, and Liz could be doing — whatever she has in the ways of hobbies. (Does she do anything off-the-clock other than bitch ‘n’ moan?)
Nah. If Warren ever returns to the picture (which he won’t, because he’s going to be a black smudge on the desert), the Golden Hoo-hoo will be untarnished.

56. Alfred E. Neuman, re BB: honest to gawd, I thought the “cows” could pass as very short giraffes.

67. OSAC: I’ve occasionally used algebra since high school. However, I was inordinately please with myself that I could figure out x in Croc Jr’s problem in my head. Woohoo!

117. cheech wizards: Bode broads…in a heartbeat. (And even if Bakshi *borrowed* her, Eleanor in “Wizards”.)
And the little naked except for gloves, hose and heels is the Femlin. (How do I know this stuff?)

For the record, the Wednesday (I think) Coffee Stalks seemed to really lean in Warren’s favor, based on his backstory in the Bio section. Heh. I think someone’s gonna get her walking papers for daring to make him a sympathetic character. Heh. Schadenfreude.
Okay, now that this insufferable story-line is ending…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2496580601/sizes/o/
Justafoob
May 16th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

So, when Granthony turns out to be just like all other MEN is Liz going to have a torrid affair with Warren?

We all know that men are scum. LJ has told us so.
DAS
May 16th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Sitting in Margo’s office and masturbating, while shouting “Oh, Margo! Tell me how far behind schedule we are! Tell me I’m a screw-up! Berate me! Point angrily at me! Yes! Yes!”

Probably what’ll happen — especially considering that Margo, when saying these things, has her O-face on.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

5/16

Crock: I laughed, then ran out to see if there were four horsemen in the sky.

JP: What kind of woman apologizes for being taken hostage and being turned into a human detonator? The kind who succumbed to Stockholm syndrome long before.

A3G: “What the? It’s gone, and there’s a note that says HAHA!”

Popeye: I’m not even gonna go into the fetishes this brings into the picture.

H&J: I never even knew Sarah had glasses. I just assumed she had saucer eyes.

MC: Ah, so there are invertebrates working at MacGuffin too. Well, by all means let’s see this black widow.

9CL: Edda is in position to kick Amos in the teeth rather than the balls. Whether or not this is good news or bad news depends on him.

DT: Oh no, this isn’t filler.

Momma: What, you think you can do better?

Blondie: There used to be scores of Ditherses, but most of them lost their lives in the Crisis.

C-Shaft: Hey, John from “Funky Winkerbean” might pay two whole dollars for those comics.

OBH: Why, you’re a loveable psychopath, of course. No one can take that away from you, and live.

RMMD: So after the breakup with Peppermint Patty, Marcy bleached her hair and had an affair with June? That’s my theory and I’m sticking with it.
jayjaybear
May 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#6 ellipsiparenthabang -

Gilgamesh Wulfenbach from Phil Foglio’s Girl Genius. Phil just posted about three weeks worth of strips of Gil recovering from battle with nekkid!Gil (although of course we only get glimpses of actual not-normally-nekkid areas) prominently featured.
Calico
May 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#134 – Bureaucracy is a Plugger.
bats :[
May 16th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

Hot comic moms: I’d vote for Yenny’s mami Yunissa (as if Yenny isn’t hot enough). This is a Puerto Rican strip; I don’t know if it’s actually run in newspapers, but I’d love to suggest it for something like the Arizona ~~Repulsive~~ Republic or the Mesa Tribune…aiiiiiiiiiyyyy! Heck, EVERYONE in the comic is hot (except for the iguana).
http://www.gocomics.com/yenny/
Jaime M.
May 16th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

I hope someone will Photoshop today’s “Luann” so that the dialogue in the last panel reflects what TJ and Brad are really about to do: screw like rabbits.
Ryl
May 16th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#136 – I think that’s supposed to be a stinky cheese-n-onion sandwich. Either that or those are kamikaze birds that missed.
bats :[
May 16th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Ah, here we go…this is the Mother’s Day panel from “Yenny.” Mami is to the right, Yenny to the left:
http://www.gocomics.com/yenny/2008/05/11/
no one special
May 16th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

#67 I am sorry but that is a pet peeve of mine. I get that all the time teaching a college science class to non science students… You do algebra all the time! You just don’t realize it! Aaaargh!!!

Ok I’m good now. Carry on.
Paul1963
May 16th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

#139 Perky Bird–Dammit, you beat me to it. Yes, that’s what pluggers need typewriters for, all right. Other subjects include “Our Brilliant President” (written completely unironically), “Why Anyone Who Disagrees With Me Is A Dirty Leftie Who Should Be Deported,” “Let’s Round Up All The Foreigners And Send Them Back Where They Came From,” “Bring Back School Prayer,” “Evolution Ain’t Real And I Ain’t Descended From No Monkey” and “All The World’s Problems Would Be Solved If Everyone Would Just Read The Bible.”

The Phantom: Oh, no, a fuel problem! And we’re over water! If only this were a seaplane–wait.

I’m amazed that nobody has mentioned Brandy or Jen from Liberty Meadows yet. Sure, the strip has been in reprints for a few years now and isn’t in a lot of papers anymore, but seriously–Frank Cho can really draw the babes.
racing js
May 16th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

#150 – stinky sandwich? Why are Herman’s feet submerged in water? I assume the dead birds are floating around him.
Xero
May 16th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

If you haven’t noticed this (sadly small) set of aged cartoon characters yet, I highly suggest it. I like Dennis and Jerry best.

http://laughingsquid.com/comic-book-cartoon-characters-as-senior-citizens/
Kate
May 16th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

I used to rage against FOOB like King Lear in the storm, but now I am weary. I am a devil sick of sin. I can’t not hate that strip, but it’s such a waste of time to do so, because of COURSE it’s loathsome; where’s the big woop? The sky is blue, gravity works, and I hate FOOB.

I hate it so much.
Astroboy
May 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Toon Turn-ons: Toni freakin’ Daytona! And I’d love to see Dee and April at the beach…but ONLY Dee and April!
JB
May 16th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Comic MILFs…

PreTeena’s mom…Janis from A&J…June Morgan…Alice Mitchell…Luann’s mom…
Warren Blackwood
May 16th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Damn, that breakup sex I had with Liz last night was hot! Afterward, we talked till dawn about how she’s marrying that dork just to get her mom off her back.

But this works out better for me anyway, as Liz is kind of annoying. It’ll be fun to just meet up for sex every few months, like we agreed. I think she’s making a mistake to let herself be pressured into marriage like that, but the bottom line is, who cares? This way I can get the hell out of Millbrough and see the world and nail loads of other women while still keeping ol’ Lizardbreath waiting “in the wings,” so to speak.
Justafoob
May 16th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Sorry Warren, but Liz has never done the nasty.

Really.

You wonder why boyfriends go away easily? She never puts out.

She is a virgin.

Granthony is going to deflower her on their wedding night (I think he might use a coke bottle or his finger)

Now, if you want a sluttly Patterfoob that will put out. One that will get into the doggy position and be ready to eat pillow….. look no further than……. Mike.

He was the best bottom Weed ever had.
bats :[
May 16th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Rock the Talk! True Fable is in the Friday e-mail collections at Coffee Stalk!
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Waiting in the wings? Warren, haven’t you already been whirled through the rotors?

Speaking of which, did you know that Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his Head and Shoulders in the bushes.
Shuni
May 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

I’m many decades too young to be a plugger, but I think the (rather obscure) point of the comic was that ribbon refills can be reffered to as a cartridge.

So asking for a Cartridge for a Smith-Corona would sound rather like asking for bullets. :)
Ross
May 16th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Curtis honestly seems like two strips (not counting the insane Kwanzaa installments.)

Not that Curtis by himself is a work of art, but when he meets Gunk, it seems like the Gunk show for a couple of weeks.

They should just spin Gunk off to his own strip. That way I can ignore him more easily.
Calvin
May 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

162 – Head and Shoulders? But Vic doesn’t have dandruff!!!?

Exactly.
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

6. ellipsiparenthabang – Blondie. She’s not only hot, but has a winning personality and upbeat attitude.
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Oh no. Another guy who is supposed to be pining for Liz from afar? Just fabulous.
gh
May 16th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

5/16 A3G —

I believe the fact that Alan is unlocking the second drawer finally lays to rest the coke/marijuana debate. The DEA recommends drug abusers file all stashes alphabetically: Amyl nitrite through Librium in the top drawer, LSD through Psilocybin in the middle drawer, and Qualuudes through Zoloft in the bottom drawer. Marijuana is a middle drawer drug.
man behind the curtain
May 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

MW — I’m not the only one who thinks this wake is unbelievably tediuos. I just saw Donna Amalfi get up and leave.
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

66. Chimakwa – A midwestern town I used to live in had a small strip shopping spot with Planned Parenthood, video store, take-out pizza shop, and liquor store. I call THAT one-stop shopping at its finest!
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

163–OMG! I didn’t get that joke before…and I actually think it’s FUNNY!

But what about the beer?
gleeb
May 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

94, 110: Dumpy comic-book John in Winkerbean has bragged of cheating old women before, but I don’t think he said he got this particular pigeon. Of course, that box might turn out to be full of old Donald Duck and NRA Gun Safety comics.
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

FOOB – I’m rethinking this whole thing. This is all foreshadowing. Obviously, Anthony WILL turn out to be “the wrong one”, as we all know, and as is clear from Liz’s lukewarm attitude in discussing him. Within months after the wedding she will drop everything and skip off “overseas” to be with Warren. Great finale to the strip!
bartcow
May 16th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

BB: Really, the lame setup and confusing art are all just a prop upon which to rest the punchline: Cow shit! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Get it?

I hate life.
Shoshi
May 16th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

115 – Oh, now I get the part about the beer, too.

:-P
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
May 16th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

#79 LITTLE A.

I know what I am going to say will guarantee that no one will reply to any of my snarks in the future (down from the 4 per cent that get replied to now)

Snark thee regardless of whether fellow Cardinals hear and respond. Be bold, brother! Sound thy barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world!
prospero
May 16th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

The teacup full of gin comment is very funny. What was Mrs. Cleaver ingesting? Always thought it was Vitamin V applied to the pearls in slow-release form.

But you missed the point on her list for Dennis. She’s crushing his soul like Mark McKinney crushes heads (surely one of the geatest cosmic comedic inventions ever). Squeezing out the lifeblood of his raison d’etre. Her own kid, fruit of her and Mr. Wilson’s fervid loins.
prospero
May 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

#79 Little A. Nice passive-agressive ploy. I thought Dee was pretty cute, too, but it’s those regressive genes. It is Canada, after all, which is like a vast 9,984,670 square kilometre Alabama, only cold that makes snot icicle on bulbous female and pointy male noses. So I guess it’s more like Maine.
NA
May 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

I want to preface this by saying that I have my own problems with FOOB– I agree that Liz seemed to give up her autonomy when she headed down this marriage route, and april annoys the shit out of me for reasons I can’t explain, BUT….

Some of the comments on this blog are downright disturbing. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Liz being derided for really inappropriate stuff (having a ‘huge ass,’ not putting out, etc., either dominating her men or being completely passive with them). I think some of the critques of LJ’s choices are valid, but I think others are really not necessary and based on very sexist interpretations of women should look or be like (even in the 2-d world).

I guess I just don’t understand the utter vitriol spewed towards FOOB (though I do understand some of it, with regards to how the characters have become so much less interesting over the years). The tenor of the discussion is so much harsher than the really funny and genuine critiques of other comics (whose storylines can really be much more offensive).
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

!63 Shuni,
That could be part of it, but I think the cashier is supposed to be conflating Smith & Wesson guns with Corona beer from Mexico (try it with lime.)
prospero
May 16th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

And has anybody ever seen Dee and Paige the blind girl in the same place at the same time?
Darkefang
May 16th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

9CL: Obviously, Brooke owns Word-of-the-Day toilet paper and just got back from Prunefest ‘08.

A3L: I think I’m alone now. The lighting of my bowl is the only sound.

GT: Under this new artist, Gil Thorpe has turned into one really long origin story for the Punisher. The only difference is that in this version I think he might wage a personal war against local sports announcers instead of the mafia.

H&L: Welcome to today’s episode of “Things That Have Never Really Happened.”

JP: JAGs go through Navy Seal training and learn how to disarm bombs? With all the training that must include, it’s hard to believe they have any time to try cases.

MW: Anyone else find it odd that Mary managed to worm her way into being invited to the wake of a woman she talked to twice, and who met the sons one time?
Uncle Lumpy
May 16th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#177 Prospero

fruit of her and Mr. Wilson’s fervid loins

Must . . . not . . . think about Mr. Wilson’s loins.

Aaaaaaaaaargh!
Calvin
May 16th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Re 165: Wait, you’re Calvin too? I didn’t think more than one person could have a certain username.
Uncle Lumpy
May 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#179 NA –

I guess I just don’t understand the utter vitriol spewed towards FOOB

It’s the sanctimony.
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

164/Ross – “They should just spin Gunk off to his own strip. That way I can ignore him more easily.”

If this doesn’t get you on the float this week, I will be sorely disappointed.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
May 16th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

#6 – I think that Sam from Judge Parker is pretty hot, but only when he’s wearing the glasses. Other than that, when you like men you’re out of luck in the comics. Most comic writers are male and not to interested in making their male characters eye candy when they could be concentrating on stimulating themselves by making female characters hot.

FBOFW: All if forgiven if Liz has an affair with Warren right after marriage to Anthony.
cheech wizard
May 16th, 2008 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

179/NA – It’s really just garden-variety sniping – people like to pile on FOOB because it’s a once-great strip and giant in the comics world that has gotten incredibly trite. Also, Liz does have a really big ass.
Justafoob
May 16th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

NA @ #179.

It really isn’t Liz’s fault. Or Mike’s. Or Apewills. Or any of the characters waiting for a play.

The fault lies with LJ. She wanted to create a slice of life strip that grew with the characters. A noble goal that is setting yourself up for criticism.

Nobody has led Mike’s life.

Nor Liz’s.

Nor Elly’s.

Nor John.

Nor any of the many paper tiger characters LJ sets up for her ideal family to deal with.

When I want a slice of life, I talk to my kids and wife and the rest of our hideous extended family.

When I want yucks, I turn to the funny pages. And the yuks may come from PBS or RMMD or on that rare occasion Mother Goose and Grim.

I don’t want life on the funny pages and if you try to do that you are going to get ripped.

Sorry.
Paul1963
May 16th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Oh, I completely forgot about another thing Alan can do now that he has access to the Mills Gallery after hours:

Carefully examining all the sculptures to see which ones are hollow, and therefore potential candidates for being turned into a bong.
Calvin
May 16th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

184 – So, my evil twin is back!!!

No, just kidding. I guess it does allow duplicate usernames. I’ll try to think of something clever to change to …
johnny
May 16th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Thanks for the explanation, felix grundy. I didn’t get it either. I got the Smith-gun connection, but all Corona brought to mind was cigars. I was thinking that the clerk saying “guns or cigars” would have made sense. For some reason my mind just doesn’t have any connection between the words Corona and beer.
odinthor
May 16th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

GT — “Well, Coach, all this playing Old West Posse is really cool; but I really don’t see what it has to do with baseball . . .”
Four Questions About The Funnies
May 16th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

1. Hi & Lois: Chip has eyes? Who knew. Though I bet his close buddy in the sailor suit knew. They have a special relationship that allows Chip an outlet for his frustrations about not being able to get girls.

2. Spiderman: Hey Peter Parker, do you realize that half of your Spidermask has fallen off in panel 2? Might not be good for keeping your secret identity secret.

3. FOOB: In the wings– get it? Because helicopters have… rotating blades. Liz makes it clearer every day that she is not at all in love with Pushbroom. And she manages to keep stringing Warren along– “it’s not that I’m in love with another man, it’s just that you want to roam around. So if you ever change your mind about that, you know where I’ll be, in a loveless marriage, waiting for you to come break it up with your helicopter wings.”

4. Thorp: What the hell are they doing in panel 1? I don’t think baseball coaches usually do situps right next to their players before games. They do usually wear uniforms, or at least baseball caps, though. Thank god major league managers don’t have Gil Thorp’s baseball coaching wardrobe. Can you imagine Tommy Lasorda going out for a mound visit wearing a tight black t-shirt and Sansabelt slacks, with no hat on?
Full Batch
May 16th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

# 7 Mik Holmes: Only the better ones, Mik!
Shlomo
May 16th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

Although I think everyone’s replies to #6 have been good, I really am in shock that Loretta from the Lockhorns, Andy Capp’s wife, and Momma have not been on anyone’s list.
Calico
May 16th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

#164 – Well, maybe Gunk could traverse over to FOOB, and at least we’d have a few laughs for a time.
SFMarcus
May 16th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

@earlier threader who said “What male cartoon characters do you women find attractive?”
Um, hello – existence of gay people, much?

Snark dispensed with, I will proceed to answer the (amended) question:

Male cartoon hotties:
Mark Trail is kinda hot, but I’m not even going there. ZZZZZ. I’d like to say that ANDY the dog would be more fun, and not in a bestiality kinda way. I mean that: going on a WALK with Andy would probably be more fun than even the wildest time in the sack with Master Trail.

You just know TJ (LuAnn) would be what the kids today are calling a ‘hot mess’ – trashy fun. No limits – and I mean NONE. Plus we – (the royal ‘we’ = this messageboard)- have already established that he is often seen at the RL combo gay bar/bakery a fellow threader linked to – . The Roofie muffins there are to die for.

Oh, and I have a crush on the slacker dude from that comic with the talking pets. (NOT Garfield.) What’s it called? The pets – and the humans, too – I think- seem to always have strange dots or specks drawn above their heads to indicate general scruffiness/surliness/active narcotic addictions…

I’m sure that I’m skipping many toon dudes- but there you have it.

Oh wait- when I was a teen, I used to really like Cutter, the main character from ElfQuest. Now there was an elf with a six-pack.
SFMarcus
May 16th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

I just realized that describing a cartoon as ‘the one with the talking pets’ is about as useful as saying ‘the one where the illustrations are enclosed in panels.’

Mea culpa. My TJ + ripped elf dude mental slash fiction was clearly getting outta hand…
teenchy
May 16th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

# 151: bats :[ : Is Yenny related to John Kricfalusi’s Sody Pop?
DAS
May 16th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Oh, and I have a crush on the slacker dude from that comic with the talking pets. (NOT Garfield.) What’s it called? The pets – and the humans, too – I think- seem to always have strange dots or specks drawn above their heads to indicate general scruffiness/surliness/active narcotic addictions… – SFMarcus

Get Fuzzy?
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 16th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#188 cheech,
Hey, somes like a little more cushion for the pushin’.

A lot of the people who get really vitriolic about FOOB were fans of it way back when. I’m more neutral, because I’ve always thought it was kind of sappy. If Lynn manages to put something halfway funny or truly touching in it, I’m impressed. Occasionally it’s offensiely glurgy. Usually it’s just another four panels to me.
Muse of Ire
May 16th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

#6 re: hot comic dudes

Back in the day, I used to be all about Basil St. John. Haven’t seen Brenda Starr for an untold number of years, so I can’t say whether he’s still got the old magic.

I also think Warren is quite attractive (and interesting. and fun. and any number of things that loser Angsthony will never be). Fly, Warren, fly! You’re much too good for Liz!
Dr. Blinky
May 16th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Fun Fact: “keys” can also refer to street slang for a kilo of drugs, be it cocaine, heroin, or whatever Alan’s palate has deemed the most delicious this evening.
JB
May 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Holy crap, how could I forget to add Miss Jane Plainwell, from Fuzzy?

yowza ;-)
JB
May 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

make that “Frazz”…had the previous post on the brain…dammit
SFMarcus
May 16th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

@DAS, #201:
Yes, Get Fuzzy indeed! Thank you!
Dorktorb
May 16th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

“Sorry, we don’t sell guns or beer here. You may want to try the Alcohol, Tobacco And Firearm-a-rama on Route 46. Also before you ask, we don’t have an Apple IIc, polio, or a falcon.”
buzz
May 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Josh, yours is the funniest PLUGGERS punchline ever!
Mary
May 16th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

6. Yeah, the comics are pretty slim pickins for het women and gay men. I can’t think of any contemporary hot comics guys.

Back in the day (1970s) I thought that Prince Valiant’s page or squire (or whatever) was pretty hot.

Of course I learned to masturbate by thinking of Han Solo, so I’m definitely outdated.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
May 16th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

I hereby nominate Mary for best end of thread comment evah! Hoo!
Quacks Like A Duck
May 19th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

The Pluggers cartoon would have been much funnier without any caption below, implying that Pluggers ask for guns and beer at every store they can find.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Alan on the night shift

212 responses to “Alan on the night shift”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery