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Recovery mission

Prince Valiant, 11/18/12

OK, so when his cultured wife Lady Winnifred died, Lord Grunyard fell apart, leaving Lockbramble’s lush but chilly northern lands in the hands of greedy, archery-obsessed overseer Roger Runetyne, who impoverished them in a vain attempt to grow tea, which he figured Britons might like. Moral: marketing insight is no substitute for operational capability!

Ace archer rebel Rhoda Red Hood plans to enter and win Lockbramble’s archery tournament in disguise, humiliating Runetyne so the rebels can reinstall Grunyard as their puppet ruler. One of those Hunger Games-y “win the contest and save the land” plots.

And oh yeah Val and Gawain wander in, get caught and released by the rebels, and allay Runetyne’s fears that the royals are onto him by showing up at the castle plastered.

But mainly, after this week in Rex Morgan, M.D., I figured you’d just want to stare at that first panel for a little while.

Phantom, 11/18/12

While the daily Phantom putters along playing Who’s Got the Lion?, the Sundays loop back to the year-and-a-half-long Diana’s Rescue story, in which gun-totin’, pirate-hatin’, Phantom-lovin’ Captain Savarna played a prominent role.

Once the Phantom finds that skeleton in the final panel, he’ll search for proof it’s Savarna’s: the purple notebook she always carried, filled with her 785 practice signatures — Mrs. Savarna Phantom Walker* in loopy schoolgirl script, with little hearts above all the i's and j's.

* In the Bandar tongue, which consists mostly of i's, j's, and punctuation — the Bandar are an excitable people, and their language reflects it.
 

Funky Winkerbean, 11/18/12

Hey, let’s look in on the happy couple!

With his daughter off at college, Les married Cayla as a replacement foil for his execrable pun-like utterances. But Cayla is a take-charge ex-baseballer who doesn’t mind taking down a rival, or a mere annoyance like her new husband. And she is so done with his Lisa shit. Three strikes and you’re out, buddy.


That’s it for me: Josh will be back later today with Comments of the Week, and regular posts starting Monday. Thanks for a fun week!

–Uncle Lumpy

170 responses to “Recovery mission”

  1. Clint Brawny
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    Does that large Prince Valiant strip actually run in newspapers?

  2. Uncle Lumpy
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    @Clint Brawny (#1):

    Dunno. Back in the Hal Foster days, some papers gave PV a full page.

  3. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Isn’t it fortunate that Pissy Peter Parker didn’t grab an old man who might have a heart attack or a stroke?

    Creepy Les: She may not be Lisa, but eventually Creepy’s stultifying personality will wear her down.

    Pluggers: Yeah, like a fat, slothful Plugger can run fast enough to help a kid learn to ride. Pluggers: too dumb to get the kid some training wheels, too arrogant to think anyone else would help a kid learn to ride, too clueless to think it matters how many speeds the kid’s first bike has.

    Jugs Parker: Will this six month arc end now? Please? I won’t mind if Chekhov’s Wealth isn’t pointed at Slacker Sam, just as long as we never again see the hideous Avery.

  4. commodorejohn
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    HALLELUJAH, SOMEBODY IS FINALLY HITTING LES. THERE IS A GOD!

    Also, if this Sunday Phantom plot moves anything like the storyline it’s hearkening back to, the next year or so will consist of twenty or thirty repetitions of Kit going “Oh my God, Savarna’s dead! I LEAVE IN WOE!” and then being all like “But maybe I’d better go back and check just to be really sure!”

  5. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#4): It’s cool to think that Creepy has to bandage his ribs. Not just because Fishface elbows him so hard it causes injuries, or because he’s too dumb to stop his feeble jokes, but because it holds forth the hope that some day he’ll have a lung punctured by a shattered rib, leading to a slow, miserable death from internal bleeding, loss of breath and pneumonia. Westview: where hope takes the form of dying a terrible death.

  6. Master Softheart
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy! I’ll survive just reading your comments until the next fundraiser/vacation, but I will be feeling a profound emptiness the whole time.

    PHANTOM!: I suddenly remembered “Spank me, Walker, for Diana!” and chittered in unhealthfully manic laughter.

  7. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5):

    Those are not jokes. He’s just a masochist. Can’t we just agree on that?

    Do widowers say things about what their dead spouse wouldn’t do? I hope not. But, we all know the Lesser of two Moores is feeble.

    Now, off to Shylock Foxington’s Funhouse of Whatever Today’s Mystery Might Be.

  8. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Okay. I admit that it seems like either the guy will do some time for his hate crimes.

    Slick Smitty should really be counting his blessings that Slylock’s Kangaroo courts don’t have a pack of hyenas just waiting outside the courtroom to ravage him.
    Sorta of like a pack of Jack Rubies to Smitty’s Harvey Lee Canthrower.

    Since it hasn’t happened already, the guy is really freaking lucky. People don’t have rights in Weirdly’s Nightmare Valley, they just do the time.

  9. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#8):
    dang.

    I forgot the word “or” …as in or he could be ravaged by…

    On a related note, isn’t it odd that most people there in Nightmare Valley do the time, as I mentioned, yet Weirdly himself just does the Time Machine and makes like Doctor Whodat and…well, we don’t really completely know what he does in the time machine. We do know that given a rocket ship, he will throw mice and mouse decoys at a bullseye below. I’m thinking the target is right smack dab on the rooftop of Charterstone Condos.

    Mouses Awaaaaaay!

  10. Baka Gaijin
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    Um, am I the only one who saw a gay Cialis ad in Prince Valiant?

    I would have never guessed Spiderman was strong enough to pluck a Plugger right off the street.

    Is anyone surprised Dagwood is video Skyping delicatessens? Not I. Not even a little.

  11. Baka Gaijin
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    I think we found out Dawn’s dating problem. OK, problem besides the helmet hair and mopey disposition. Dawn’s had, what, a lunch date and a walk not by the pier and now her life cannot proceed without AJ’s (Abusive Jim) approval. Clingy much?

  12. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#7): No. I refuse to believe that Creepy Les is a masochist. He should not be able to enjoy the punishment meted out to him.

  13. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    Damn, I’d been hoping that bandaging in Panel One meant Les was dressing some kind of skin cancer. No such luck. On the other hand, since Cayla didn’t know about the padding she was elbowing to kill. So there’s that.

    Maybe someday Rosa over in “Luann” will find the gumption to elbow Gunther, and Evan will elbow Margo in A3G. And maybe Jim can order. Dawn to walk on his elbow side.

    Or not.

  14. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    And, Unca Lumpy, thank you. Like a few others here, I look forward to your periods in power.

  15. Liam
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Not shown is Spiderman dropping the man on the pavement killing him.

    A3G-Margo is serious. I think we’ve seen Evan from the waist up but Greg from the shoulders up.

    JP-I bet Avery can’t wait to see Bubba’s trout holes.

    MW-Just tell him the truth that because he still has incestuous feelings for his dead sister and your resemblance to her is freaking you out.

  16. Jonn
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    RE Funky: Those were both actually pretty funny puns.

    BRB, checking to see if the sea’s turned to blood.

  17. gleeb
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Everyone know pea soup doesn’t hold fingerprints! Seriously, if those aren’t Smitty’s prints, a cub scout could get him off this rap.

    ‘shaft: Don’t use the F-word, you infantilizing, hidebound literalist! Especially when it isn’t true.

    ‘bean: Maybe if this infantilizer didn’t interrupt her reading of the serious literature that are the comix, she’d be gentler. Maybe Batiuk is ready to take on spousal abuse. That’d be good. There’s no way he wouldn’t screw that up and make Les look like he richly deserved everything he got. Like having him bring up the deadwife whenever he talks to Cayha.

    Dick: As much as I love a good monocle-sporting criminal, this is getting us no closer to knowing about the Moon.

  18. Chareth Cutestory
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: The whole thing about shouting fire in a crowded theater was never actually binding legal authority. However, no legal cas has ever been made for or against shouting “theater” in a crowded fire, as Les curiously wonders. Let’s burn him at the stake and find out!

  19. Chareth Cutestory
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    @Clint Brawny (#1): It depends on the local paper. Do they want images of foppish, yet rugged men bathing together? Then Prince Valiant hits a bullseye.

  20. Bruce T. Paddock
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    Say what you will about Funky Winkerbean — and you will — you have to admire the Pulp Fictionesque discontinuity of the linear time line, opening the strip with Les bandaging the bruise he receives in the next-to-last panel.

  21. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    @Bruce T. Paddock (#20): I believe the panels in FW are in proper order, and that Les has been roughly elbowed many times. Eventually a broken rib will lead to serious cardiovascular damage, and when Creepy Les is hospitalized he will be kept in isolation. There he will be forced to endlessly “joke” with himself about his chest pains: The Angina Monologues.

  22. Digger
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    FW: Don’t get upset, Les. She’s just “ribbing” you. Hey-o! Now, I’m supposed to sit back and smugly bask in the glory of my horrible pun. That’s how it works, right?

  23. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Would it be better to live in Judge Parkertown or Mark Trailville? In the latter, one gets kidnapped by hirsute thugs and held for ransom, only to end up hanging out on the beach with one’s dog, fishing, and sleeping on a nice little cot with two pillows. But in Parkertown, one is threatened by hirsute thugs wielding garroting wires and chainsaws, only to end up drinking Scotch in a high-end man-cave, making deals that will result in mutual profit, and looking forward to a variety of trout holes in unexpected places.

    Well, in Parkertown, I’d definitely get a tata upgrade, whereas in Trailville, it would just be some momjeans and too much mascara, so I guess I’ll have to give this one to the Judge.

  24. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — Great Quivering Jellyfish, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot (a/k/a The Penguin) has a BROTHER!

  25. lorne
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Ha! Physical abuse.
    Get used to it.

  26. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Who put the overalls in Mrs. Hagar’s chowder? Nobody spoke, so she shouted all the louder. “It’s a Viking trick that’s true, I can cane the Dane who threw, the overalls in Mrs. Hagar’s chowder.”

    //You are welcome for the earworm.

  27. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @Jonn (#16): Whoa. Your standards are low. I hope Josh puts you in charge of picking COTW.

  28. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#18): I like the way you think.

  29. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#21): A pun worthy of Batiuk himself, yea, verily. (I kid, I kid, It’s actually a good pun.)

  30. Black Drazon
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    If you stare hard enough at Cayla’s comics page, you’ll see a picture of her holding the comics page, and if you stare hard enough at that, you’ll see that picture also contains a picture of her holding a comics page, and if you stare hard enough at that, you see a picture of Cayla at her laptop, like a normal person.

  31. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#29): Thank you Some people might have thought it a heartless thing to say.

  32. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#31): Heartless? On this site? You’re kidding me! (Oh, I get it – ‘angina’ – ‘heart’ – )

  33. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Only on the Comics Curmudgeon site can you speak approvingly of infanticide and not be thought heartless – as long as it’s Marvin, or a melonhead.

  34. Anonymous
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    PV, panel one: Although it’s true that primitive condoms were made out of sheep’s intestines as far back as the middle ages, I had no idea that they came in bright yellow/black designs. Very cool, Gawain.

  35. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MW – I’ve always thought there was a Seinfeldian bent to this strip, you know, with the self-involved characters and it being about, essentially, nothing. But the direct lift of the Costanza line, “It’s not you, it’s me,” could be a bad omen. Will Jim answer Dawn with “Yadda, yadda, yadda?”

  36. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    FW – I am a treasure trove of pop culture references. So how could I read today’s strip and not hear Jessi Colter’s “I’m Not Lisa,” which, henceforth, should become Cayla’s theme song.

  37. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#36): Her eyes are not blue.

  38. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    I have to admit that I don’t read Prince Valiant, but I love the name Lord Grunyard. So, in my household, My Three Sons will be Skeezix, Jeb-Jab, and Lord Grunyard, which, I believe, will put me right up there with Frank Zappa, Woody Allen and Demi Moore as evil parents who ruin their kids’ lives with goofy names.

  39. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#37):
    Details.

  40. tb4000
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    RMMD: That’s right Honey, bait the ever elusive “will you strip for cancer” hook? And June better do it.

  41. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

  42. Mibbitmaker
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    FW: Les: “I’ve made a huge mistake!” (irony: it’s really Cayla that made the mistake of GOB Bluthian purportions). Having parenthetically said that, the studio audience (silent during Les’s unjokes) roared with cheering like rarely heard on most sitcoms. It was exhilarating!

    PV: UL, I celebrate your sense of fairness on this one! (Mibbit hurries back to this week’s RMMD strips)

    Phantom (last panel): Hell, I hope that’s not her in the corner (losing her religion…)

  43. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#41): I lol’ed -

  44. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    PV: Sir Roger has impoverished Lord Grunyard’s domain in a futile attempt to grow tea. Based on Val’s and Gawain’s expressions in the first panel and Lord Grunyard’s in the last, it seems that one reason Sir Roger’s plan failed was his inability to distinguish tea from cannabis.

  45. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    I was in a senile nostalgia trip about comics of days gone by a few days ago, and suddenly I wondered about our fellow Mudgeon: is Old Man Muffaroo actually old enough to remember the Old Man Muffaroo and Little Lovekins strip?

    When will Josh go the Drew Curtis route and sell $5 subscriptions to “Total Curmudgeon” wherein we can have profiles and explain the mysteries of our pseudonyms, not to mention posting fraudulent and/or highly photoshopped pictures of ourselves?

  46. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Speaking of Prince Valiant, that’s some mighty fine perspective drawing in panel one. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Yes, I’m looking at you, Moy and Giella…

  47. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#41):
    True. Contacts work as well as the hair relaxer she’s been using. Not to mention her visits to Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon.

  48. lynn
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Really, there’s no excuse for the horrible, horrible artwork in some strips (*cough* Bolle…Nolan… *cough*)

  49. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    FW — I’ve never seen anything in Les that would make any sane woman want to be his wife, and the usual endowment joke won’t work because whatever he’s got down there, it’s attached to the rest of him. And if she’s elbowing him hard enough to require bandaging just a few weeks into the marriage, the violence is likely to escalate. Cayla, get him out to some cliff (I know there are cliffs in Ohio, I’ve seen them) and cause an accidental fall NOW, before the neighbors start calling the police. He’ll probably shout out one last horrible punlike remark on his way down to gruesome smashed death, but then it’ll be blue skies ahead.

  50. TheDiva
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    New Know the Score is up! This month we look at A Monster in Paris, a cute French film that needs more love and US distribution.

    FW: And now, a peek into the Moores’ domestic life: sitting side by side on the couch, not looking at or touching each other, while Les makes terrible jokes until his wife beats him to get him to stop. It’s Westview’s greatest romance!

    PV: Huh, judging by his expression I would have guessed Lord Grunyard’s problem isn’t so much “devastated by loss of wife” as “deciding what kind of mead to have with dinner.”

  51. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, thank you for thoughtfully providing that charming view of the PV pseudo-sots. In my case, you’re right about the staring.

  52. TheDiva
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: When we say the characters in Crankshaft don’t know the meaning of the word “funny,” we mean it.

    Luann: Say, where’s Toni? Is her relationship with Brad still not “serious” enough to warrant spending holidays together, or has Nancy simply banned the son-stealing tramp from her home?

    MW: Dawn, you’re talking into your notepad…

    PBS: Whatever you do, don’t look at the hold list for 50 Shades of Grey.

    SM: Oooh, ooh, I know the answer to this one! It’s the ham that just picked up a random tourist by the collar and dangled with him several feet in the ai just to show off, right?

    And thanks again, Uncle Lumpy, for yet another week of excellent comics pinch-hitting!

  53. Col. Havoc
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Unca Lumpy! Come back at Christmas. And bring presents!

  54. Joshua
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Spidey announces that he is going to do some web-swinging amidst the tall buildings on the Las Vegas Strip, yet in the last panel he is seen outside the Red Rock Casino, which is located ten miles from the Strip.

  55. The Ridger
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    9CL Okay, I go to concerts every once in a while (plays/operas more), and I really don’t think they’d let some random audience member march up onto the stage and assault the performer, then return to their seat as if nothing had happened. Even a random Burber.

  56. UncleJeff
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    PV: The artists on this strip are really on a roll. I’m surprised no one in the CC picked up on last week’s brilliant panel of a “drunk” Valiant and Gawain. Maybe they should just do away with the daring deeds and “days of old when knights were bold” and just turn the strip into an ongoing series of the debaucheries of the lords and ladies of Camelot and adjoining kingdoms.

  57. Stroker Ace
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    PV – First panel is a mural @ “Man’s Country” in Chicago. Um…so I’m told. NTTIAWWI.

  58. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    I figured you’d just want to stare at that first panel

    AAAAHH!! He’s in my heeeead!

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    HotC: I can grok the concept.

    SBp: Evolution DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

    Bizarro: about 16 times bigger, I’d say.

    DT: it was called by somemudge yesterday, it looks like it’s to be Dick vs The Penguin!

    Lockhorns: Leroy in Miami Vicewear. *SNURK!*

    PV: Service, forsooth! and verily. (as noted by UL, but still.)

    RMMD: *le sigh*

    SFx: because everyone else HAS PAWS!?!!?!? also, lovely catgirl.

    6Cx: d’awwwwwwwwwww.

    Zits: nice rendering of the concept.

    Foxtrot: I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  60. fluffy
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    FW: My take on this strip is that Cayla is elbowing Les so hard that he suffers from perpetually cracked ribs. Spousal abuse resulting in grievous injury: FUNNY.

  61. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

  62. Mustang
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Thanks for another delightful week, Uncle L.

  63. GOD
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#4): BEHOLD, I AM THE LORD THY GOD.

    YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME.

    NO, NOT EVEN GARFIELD.

    BEHOLD, BY THIS SIGN YOU SHALL KNOW THAT I, THE LORD, AM YOUR GOD: PRINCE VALIANT SHALL STAND UP IN THE TUB AND SLAY THE DJINN OF IT IN A SINGLE, SMOOTH, AND SILENCING MOTION.

    IF YOU FEAR ME, I SHALL BRING “CUL DE SAC” UNTO THE THOUSANDTH GENERATION.

    BUT IF YOU ABANDON ME, IT’S “PLUGGERS” ALL THE WAY DOWN, BITCHES.

  64. Mysterion
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Somebody stole Savarna’s body and switched it with a skeleton!

  65. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#18): But it needs to be a *crowded* fire, so burning Les alone won’t do it. Let’s throw Becky, Gross John, Linda, Funky and Summer in there as well. It’s all in the name of science!

  66. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Todays Mark Trail is one I did, not too long ago… once the point of the page had been arrived at, I then decided to load the page up with the most colorful butterflies and moths I could! I hope you all enjoy my efforts… folks, when I first decided to pursue comics as a career, I felt certain it would be ray-guns, rockets, explosions, monsters and 1/2 naked chicks… but nnn0o0o0o0o0o0… it’s squirrels and deer, and… BUTTERFLIES… and I LIKE IT!
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

  67. casino LF
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#10): You are not the only one; that was the first thing I thought.

    FW: I sincerely hope that Les Moore dies in a fire. Actually, is there something more painful anyone can recommend? I mean, how are there people who like this character?!?

    JP: AUGH I hate smug silent Avery face SO MUCH

  68. Uncle Lumpy
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#66):

    Love the butterflies. Too bad about the 1/2 naked chicks, though.

  69. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Forgive me for being humorless here[*], but aren’t the buildings in Vegas a little too spread out for this kind of action? I seem to remember the Strip being about two blocks long and mostly filled with retirees and prostitutes, which are not mutually exclusive categories.

    Apt. 3-G: Why yes, I am serious, Greg. Whip it out and we’ll compare it to the measurements I took earlier. I have a ruler in my purse here somewhere…

    Arlo and Janis: Once again lives in the same world as the rest of us, though you wouldn’t know it by the way our cat Zippy bothers me for attention in the middle of the night.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Ah, more pseudo-Dionysian theater of the transgressive. Or is it more theater of the pseudo-transgressive? Or again, the desperate and lonely cry of the crypto-Nietzchean uberartist screaming “Reward my genius! Reward it with love and hardness!!” Yes, I think it’s that.

    Judge Parker: Ten bucks says Bubba steps outdoors and into the waiting arms of Interpol, who’s been investigating him for the theft of that Picasso. Speaking of that Picasso, what the hell is going on with – or in – Avery’s hand there?

    The Lockhorns: Meh. Steve Buscemi did that joke better in The Sopranos.

    Luann: Ah yes, it’s Thanksgiving week, when all the cartoonist pretend that everyone likes turkey and giving thanks. I’ll let Wednesday Addams handle my response to such strips. (Also works with golf jokes.)

    Mary Worth: Oh, Dawn. You don’t know how long we’ve been waiting for you to say that.

    Prince Valiant: As workable a theory of political change as any.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: We seem to have left medical drama behind for Little Annie Fanny. It’s all fun until someone starts playing piano or dancing ballet.

  70. gnome de blog
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Those of you, i.e. everybody, who don’t read Flash Gordon on Sundays are really missing a treat. Flash has the best sound effects in the comics. Today’s KA-THOOM! and SKREEEEEE! are only a representative sample.

  71. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL — I recall an episode of RED DWARF in which one of the protagonists, who is being controlled by his rampant manly parts due to a certain artificial virus, desperately takes a hammer to himself. For some reason 9CL reminds me of that episode frequently.

  72. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I hope for his sake that Spidey has a good attorney. One of these days he’s going to snatch up the wrong geezer and get sued for everything he owns, including that smelly costume.

  73. Mr K Martin
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    FUNKY WINKY: FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  74. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @casino LF (#67): Kidney stones. No, you can’t die from them, but really, you’d rather see Les live with them.

  75. Fashion Police
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Bubba has been dressing in the dark. At the very least he ought to emulate that fellow in the Captain Morgan advertisements.

  76. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#66): In Mark Trail, 1/2 naked chicks are new hatchlings that are starting to lose their down and gain their feathers. However, if you should decide to place some of the Sunday strip’s agricultural scenes in a setting of Spencer farms, and you happen to include the proprietress, and she is especially hot from her exhausting labors and has decided to cool down by removing as much apparel as possible, then far be it from us to deter your creative impulses…

    Anyway, nice butterflies!

  77. TheDiva
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#69): It’s closer to four miles, but you’re right: the casinos are pretty well spread out. It makes judging distance a little deceptive: something that’s “just on the other side of Cesar’s Palace” ends up being a trek of mammoth proportions. Spidey might do better web-slinging downtown around Fremont Street, where the casinos are a little closer together–but on the other hand, he might keep smacking into that big light canopy they have over there.

  78. Droopy Says
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#75): There would be nothing wrong with Bubba dressing himself in the dark, if he would just stay there with Avery. Meanwhile I’m hoping that the expression on Bubba’s face in the last panel is Chekhov’s sneer, and he’s going to cause a cave-in the moment he’s out of the mine. Poor Chekhov, if his law isn’t obeyed soon, he’ll die of frustration.

  79. Weaselboy
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    I find it hard to believe that Spiderman would be able to hear that guy’s remark from that far away, said the guy who has no problem with the whole being-bitten-by-a-radioactive-spider-and-acquiring-superpowers thing

  80. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#66): I can’t see your Facebook page, not being on FB, but I did enjoy seeing the butterflies today, and thank you. I think I recognize a Buckeye, one of my favorites. They did well in Iowa last summer in spite of the drought.

  81. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#77): I definitely remember the casinos being something like the mountains: hey, that huge thing looks pretty close…until you actually shlep the distance in between.

  82. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    I would like to amend my earlier snark. Bubba will be stepping out and into the waiting arms of the Wisconsin DNR, which is concerned with the damage he’s been doing to the trees and trout streams.

  83. RichterCa
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy,

    When I saw that asterisk after “Mrs. Savarna Phantom Walker* ” I assumed you were going to put:

    *For Ghost-Who-Walks

  84. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#13):
    Initially I thought he was binding his moobs. There are better products out there for such purposes, Les.

  85. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    First I imagined that twin-tub panel from PV this time with Bubba and Avery in their man-cave, and ever since then I’ve been trying to un-imagine it. I found it helpful to replace them with Les Moore and Crankshaft, so long as they both immediately drowned.

  86. Arabella
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Clint Brawny (#1): The Raleigh News&Observer gives Prince Valiant 5.5 x 10 inches. Large enough to read without a magnifying glass.

    FW: (gets 3.25 x 6.5 inches) Did someone else do the strip today? This is what we’ve all been waiting for.

    Dennis: (3 x 12 inches) Nice tribute to Jack Benny by Mr. Wilson.

    Frazz: (only 2.5 x 6.5 inches) too small to read today. No loss.

  87. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#18):
    Firesign Theater!

  88. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#84):
    Or minding his boobs. Manscaping and all that.
    Say, where are Sam&Ella’s shitty Band Turkeys this year?

  89. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    God, I hate Les. That should be obvious by now.

  90. Arabella
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#88): I think they’re going with Eco-lye brand this year.

  91. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t think it was possible, but Margo actually seems even more irrational when you condense her into the Sunday strip. It’s kind of like the Ideal Gas Law, but substitute gas with “Margo” and heat with “crazypants.”

  92. Chaze
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Honestly, Cirque du Soleil does a better job of performing airborne stunts in Vegas than Spidey and they don’t nab tourists off the streets or have to sweep up monkey dung between shows.

  93. KreatureFeatures
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Marvel at the realism with which FW captures the affectionate give-and-take banter of a successful marriage! It’s not at all like a comic drawn by some old guy with a tin ear fantasizing about what a real relationship might be like.

  94. Baka Gaijin
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#92): Yeah, um, a drunken monkey does a better job of performing airborne stunts anywhere, even while throwing their dung at passersby.

  95. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#76): @Poteet (#80):

    THANK YOU!
    ‘James

  96. Liam
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Years earlier Slick Smitty had his fingerprints burned off. That is why his fingerprints don’t appear on the can.

    Garfield-What are those green things in the last panel?

  97. Ralph
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    “I’m not Lisa, so get used to it.” Words that anyone with the slightest awareness of FW has waited years to hear.

  98. Mysterion
    November 18th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for Prince Valiant.

  99. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Now imagine those two tubs with a naked Wilbur Weston in one, Avery in the other.
    You’re very welcome.

  100. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#99): I want to see your comment ride the float on Friday because, to paraphrase that vengeful undertaker in THE GODFATHER, let others suffer as I suffer.

  101. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#56): I’d read that.

  102. Miss Othmar
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#86): I haven’t measured, but the Richmond Times-Dispatch gives PV a full 1/3 of the comics page, for which I commend them.

    However, this week they have spoiled it all by running this “book review”:

    Many comic-strip artists are content to go for a quick chuckle. But Tom Batiuk has for 40 years mixed grins with grief, and “The Complete Funky Winkerbean: Volume I, 1972-74” (488 pages, Kent State University Press, $45) is the first in a multivolume, multiyear project.
    The first “Funky Winkerbean” strip appeared in syndication on March 27, 1972, and Batiuk, a Kent State graduate, has used his story to encompass such serious subjects as breast cancer, unwed pregnancy, alcoholism and post-traumatic stress disorder.
    Not many comic strips can evoke a laugh and a tear within a few panels, but Batiuk has pulled the feat off and in so doing has won legions of fans.

    Ugh.

  103. Liam
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    FW-”Well I’m not Lisa no matter how much you want me to wear her clothes, dye my hair blonde, lighten my skin to match hers, and get plastic surgery to look like her.”

  104. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    PV — Maybe Lord Grunyard doesn’t really miss his wife all that much and is imagining that tub scene.

  105. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#88): SHHHHHH!!

  106. Mibbitmaker
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#102): I can both correct and condense that FW ad:

    “Funky Winkerbean”: 20 years of laughs, and then 20 years of depressing, self-important crap.

    You’re welcome, Richmond Times-Dispatch.

  107. Mibbitmaker
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    FC: “No more scapegoat till your spelling improves.”

  108. Baka Gaijin
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#99): Why did I read this comment so close to bedtime? Thanks for the nightmares, the weird demented doughy WASPY nightmares.

  109. Purple Prosecutor
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    “A crowded fire! Yes, just a towering inferno full of damned souls! And in his death throes, one of these unfortunates yells ‘THEATER!’ for some reason! I bet he’ll be in some real trouble! And how about that Underwear Bomber? Almost blew up a plane, would have killed everyone on board? What a card!”

    I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that all of Les Moore’s puns revolve around mass murder.

  110. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jonn (#16): Shh! Shh! You’ll encourage him to make more!

  111. Jamoche
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oh, Dawn, you’ve just made a clean sweep of “things interpreted as encouragement by Nice Guy(TM)s”.

  112. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#95):
    Yes, today’s is very pretty. We had tons of Red Admirals in Quebec City this year.

  113. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#106):
    I sens some FW Haiku coming on. Give me a while…

  114. Jamoche
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Bruce T. Paddock (#20): Pulp Fiction or Memento? With his memory stuck just after Lisa died, Les has no clue why he’s got these bandages. Maybe if he talks about her enough he can figure it out.

  115. This Guy
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#102): That reminded me that the YouTube “Comic Strip Critic” linked to a few threads ago mentioned in his review of Batiuk’s weeklong filibuster about “why aren’t ‘comic’ books funny” that he had Batiuk’s “Other Shoe” book about Dead Cancer Lisa Dead Dead Lisa Saint Lisa Good Cancer Death but hadn’t read it yet. He allowed that he might find it to be a deeply moving and emotional story.

    Yeah, if shittily contrived, completely improbable drama is your jam!

    Also, that guy was seriously biting the Nostalgia Critic’s style.

  116. This Guy
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Jamoche (#114): Les has a tattoo that says “Funky is the one. Don’t believe his lies.”

  117. Ursula
    November 18th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    I love Prince Valiant. Makes my Sundays.

  118. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#55): Especially since that woman is not, in fact, a Burber, but a Burber Nemesis, of the Sexy Harlot variety.

  119. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @fluffy (#60): Spousal abuse: no, not funny.

    Les abuse? Hilarious!

  120. Fourth Bear
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: To those interested, Broadway Bates is one of Dick Tracy’s very early criminal foes. He was basically a cruel con-man who first appeared in the DT strip back in 1932:

    http://dicktracy.wikia.com/wiki/Broadway_Bates

    He predates the Batman’s Penguin by quite a few years (the Penguin first appeared in 1941), but they obviously share a common appearance. So the team has decided to bring him back with a new backstory as the Penguin’s brother. While I still much prefer the current team to the Locher fever-dream years, I wish they spent less time rummaging around the strips history for fannish references and more time just telling new stories.

  121. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#69): You are completely correct about the spread-out nature of most of Las Vegas, as the tired feet of many heat-stroked people dodging skeezy dudes passing out cards with strippers on them can attest.

    That said, maybe Spiderman can swing around inside the pyramid or something. It’s certainly big enough.

  122. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80): I can’t see your Facebook page, not being on FB

    Damn. There goes my plan for relieving my eco-girl crush on you by cyber-stalking. ;)

  123. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#102): What that blurb doesn’t say is that he managed it once and everything else has been a desperate attempt to recapture that brief moment of glory.

  124. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52):

    Luann: Say, where’s Toni? Is her relationship with Brad still not “serious” enough to warrant spending holidays together, or has Nancy simply banned the son-stealing tramp from her home?

    Toni is with her “niece” Shannon and her “brother” for a “family” meal together.
    *wink, wink*

  125. Chip Whittle
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: “See you in the spring!” “It is spring!” “Oh yeah! See you next week, then!” “You fools, the earth won’t last that long!”

  126. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#84):

    Initially I thought he was binding his moobs. There are better products out there for such purposes, Les.

    And initially I hoped thought Les was strapping on explosives before he headed to Montoni’s.

  127. Elk Meadow
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Prince Valiant, top of the page!

    And hooray for Dick Tracy!

    Luann–gads! It’s Brad who could have told his parents that he had other plans for Thanksgiving. Watch Nancy have a melt-down.

    Sally Forth–Ted should tell Sally that he made Thanksgiving dinner reservations at the restaurant, for just the three of them. And if Sally can’t make it one holiday without her mom and/or sis, tough.

  128. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#112):
    I really love tyhe one in the lower left-hand panel! s0o0o0o colorful!
    ‘James

  129. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    FW And what do you think the odds are that Cayla knees Les in the groin? In bed.

    MW Congratulations, Dawn! You just used every worn-out cliche that is inappropriate and counter-productive in a relationship. You should have consulted Mary first. Oh, wait… Those are in fact the very words Mary used to cock-block Dr. Jeff. Nevermind, then. Go with your gut.

    Luann I’m thankful I won’t see this dreck again on Thursday.

    Crankedshaft Go on. Encourage him, Pam. You deserve it.

  130. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#10):

    Um, am I the only one who saw a gay Cialis ad in Prince Valiant?

    No, came to my mind immediately. Now I’ll spend all evening searching on line for the X-rated version.

  131. Chip
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Rhoda Redhood receives a coded message from Prince Valiant via his shaft? Kinda belies what we’re seeing in the first panel there…

  132. Horace Broon
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    ASM: …and the other one really isn’t.

    DT: Wait, if Broadway Bates is the Penguin’s brother, why isn’t he Broadway Cobblepot? Or is Bates his first name?

    JP: Does anyone remember that Sam Driver was in this storyline at one point? Could they keep on not remembering?

    S4th: And Ted realises that his plan to get revenge for the post-wedding situation by refusing to leave Sally’s mom’s house would not mean they’d have to wait on him and Sally for a change.

  133. Flummoxicated
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn’s wallet must be 4G!

  134. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#99): Now imagine those two tubs with a naked Wilbur Weston and Avery in one and you in the other.
    You’re welcome!

  135. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    The bandages over his torso show that Les is cutting off patches of his skin to sew together a new Lisa. Cayla, don’t believe his story that the pit dug into the basement used to be a fallout shelter. Your only hope is to steal all the hand lotion and flee.

  136. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    November 18th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#116): Really? I thought it said “Funky is a goddamn liar. Besides, we were both dead drunk that night.”

  137. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    November 18th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#121): All in favor of Spidey taking a long detour to a Vegas stripjoint so we can drink rum-and-cokes and pretend to be Tom Waits while resting our feet, raise your hands…

  138. damanoid
    November 18th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    “Lisa never kicked me square in the kneecap!”

    “Lisa never held me in a hammerlock until I cried!”

    “Lisa never backhanded me in public!”

    “Lisa never threw a full coffee mug at my head!”

    “Lisa never beat me with a wrench then forced me to lie to the police!”

  139. seismic-2
    November 18th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @damanoid (#138): Dawn: “But Dave used to!” [/sighs]

  140. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#132): Wait, if Broadway Bates is the Penguin’s brother, why isn’t he Broadway Cobblepot? Or is Bates his first name?

    “Broadway Viceroy Bates” is his baptismal name — although Alfred the Butler cheekily refers to him as “Master Bates”!

  141. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#134):
    Well, as long as I don’t have to be in the same tub, but still…
    Now as for Ginger and Honey, I think I may have to nudge my way in! : D

  142. Calico
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#139):
    MW – Dave and Jim in a hot tub. Problem solved.

  143. Atheist amongst the flock
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#140): Years ago I worked with a guy name Mastro. He used to send engineer drawings to the main plotter in the computer room. (remember, long ago). Each drawing needed an identify, name and room number so the computer guys would know where it should go. I managed override his designation so it always came out “Mastrobater”. He never could figure out who did it or how to change it.

  144. Peanut Gallery
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Just trying to imagine how that works…

    “A booze-soaked party in a house full of strippers? Meh. I dunno.”
    “But there’s also gonna be a doctor there who did CPR to save some old lady’s life.”
    “WOW!! Count me in!”

  145. Shrug, Babbler of Baby Birdies
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#132):

    “DT: Wait, if Broadway Bates is the Penguin’s brother, why isn’t he Broadway Cobblepot? Or is Bates his first name?”

    One of the babies was accidentally switched at birth and grew up in another family. It’s just one of the problems arising from all penguins looking alike.

  146. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

  147. Liam
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    FW-Being the jerk that he is Les is going to set a crowded theater on fire and then yell ‘theater’.

  148. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @damanoid (#138):

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

    Eventually Les is gonna push his new wife over the edge.

    He can try to slowly metamorphosis into The Mummy, preparing himself for death, but, the bandages don’t mean the end of his life won’t hurt.

  149. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#141): Not to worry – with Avery and Wilbur in a tub, there isn’t any room for more.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

  151. exapno
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

  152. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#151): That movie is gold from start to finish. Gold, I tell you!

  153. teenchy
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    FW: Speaking of bombers, anyone else look at panel 1 and think Les was taping up for a suicide bombing? Yeah, I know, wishful thinking.

  154. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: Interesting question about yelling “theatre” in a crowded fire. Why don’t you go out and walk into a burning building so you can find out?

    Big Nate: Hey, don’t blame Nate. He’s not the one who downloaded the wrong directions to the Petraeus household.

    BC: Nice Daffy. Better hope Warner Brothers isn’t feeling too litigious this week.

    SFx top panels: Just because a love feels right, that doesn’t mean it can’t go very wrong.

    MW: Please. Jim invented “It’s not you, it’s me.” Or was that George Costanza? Either way, Jim was an early adopter.

    S-M: You could have given that old guy a coronary you sociopath. I hope you had to change his diaper when you let him down.

    Popeye: Hamburgers are the only thing Wimpy ever gets intimate with, which is something you should keep in mind before you take his advice on whining your way into a woman’s heart.

    Shoe: Roz has a sex dungeon? Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s not see it, ever.

    RMMD: “We call Delores Delores. If we call her Phoenix that just encourages her to become Dark Phoenix and go on a sun-killing spree.”

    H&J: What’s with the squiggles? Are these two patients of Dr. Katz?

    9CL: Oh Danny Kaye, you’re so much better than this.

    PBS: Not a Twi-Hard myself, but I’m not sure our shockingly high rate of teen literacy is a sign of the Apocalypse.

  155. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Fourth Bear (#120): It’s an interesting intertextual approach. Yeah, in 1932 Batman himself was several years from debuting, much less his rogue’s gallery. I wonder if Kane and Finger had Broadway Bates in mind when they created the Penguin.

  156. Wayne
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    FW: What bugs me about this is that Les gets the awful puns wrong; if he had gotten them right, they would be slightly less lame. For example, the first one should be about the distinction between “Yelling ‘fire’ in a crowded movie house” and “Yelling ‘movie’ in a crowded fire house.” See, Les? You’re welcome.

  157. Liam
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    FW-So you can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater but can you yell ‘fire’ at a crowded book burning.

  158. Sgt. Stoned
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    FW: The witticism in the first two panels was first uttered by the late Abbie Hoffman in the mid-60s. It wasn’t funny even then, but it was at least fresher almost 50 yrs. ago. It should have been footnoted out of respect for the dead, the dead being right up Funky’s alley.

  159. Jason1981
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I’d say “No, Kraven is the ham , and you’re just a turkey”, Spidey – but that’d be insulting turkeys everywhere. Now when are we gonna get to see Kraven turn Spidey in a mashed couch-potatoe?

  160. Dr. Weird
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52):

    Luann: Say, where’s Toni? Is her relationship with Brad still not “serious” enough to warrant spending holidays together, or has Nancy simply banned the son-stealing tramp from her home?

    I believe so, yes. Nancy expressed open contempt for her and there was an awkward Thanksgiving at Brad’s three years ago

    Thanks to the CC forum for some details…

    http://joshreads.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=314&start=1050

  161. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    FW- Seriously, how in the hell can Cayla keep putting up with being compared to St. Fucking Lisa? No normal person would put up with this shit! And Batyuck this bullshit is funny? It’s SERIOUSLY FUCKING SICK!

  162. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#161):

    And Batyuck thinks this bullshit is funny?

    // Where are my meds?……

  163. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 19th, 2012 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    SM – OK, just watch the latest Spiderman moive in 3D Blu-ray for the first time this weekend at home.

    How can the movie be so awesome, and yet the comic strip still sucks so much shit?

  164. bats :[
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#77): the Death March of the modern Strip is six miles long, from the Stratosphere down to Mandalay Bay (not much currently in the north side, aside from the Stratosphere, since the Sahara closed), but it is a pretty epic jaunt. More in about a month, when mr. bats :[ and I will report from Sin City itself!

  165. bats :[
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#121): hey, don’t diss those skeezy guys handing out questionable materials! Where else am I gonna add to my collection of Ho Trading Cards ™?
    It does actually tend to freak them out when a woman actively accepts their wares. :)

  166. Daniel
    November 19th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    PV and FW Beginning and ending with lovingly detailed underarm hair, I see.

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    September 8th, 2013 at 7:23 am [Reply]

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