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Sweet, sweet oblivion

Shoe, 11/25/12

Since the early days of this blog, I have been complaining that the bird-people of Shoe refuse to fully acknowledge their avian natures. Today is a prominent example, in which two barfly bird-men (barbirds?) talk about birds that are hunted for sport, and then imagine a crazy, impossible world in which they were hunted, as if they weren’t birds, as if they weren’t delicious, as if their plumage wouldn’t look beautiful when draped over a taxidermy form. No, instead, the Perfesser just cracks wise about how at last call all the hot fellas are hunted, by the sexually voracious ladies, which, I hate to break it to you guys, but the lights are up and you two are the only ones in there, and nobody seems to be hunting you, for sex.

Panels from the Better Half, 11/25/12

Your Uncle Lumpy has got me reading the Better Half, of all things, and I have to say that it’s … mildly interesting? It’s sort of like a distant relative of the Lockhorns, except instead of regarding each other with murderous contempt, Harriet and Stanley seem genuinely in love but also somewhat baffled by each other, and indeed by the world at large. Nothing in the gentle marital foible-themed cartoons I’d read up till today had prepared me for this nightmare, of course. Stanley’s enthusiasm over the fact that his corpse will someday break down to its organic components (if the flesh isn’t first torn off by scavengers) can be written off as eccentric, if unsettling; but once we see him rambling angrily about about great heaps of discarded, beautiful human faces mouldering in dumpsters all over Hollywood, we know that something very, very wrong is going on inside his tiny cranium.

Family Circus, 11/25/12

The innumerable dead are not thankful for much, but they are thankful for this: they have been spared knowledge of Jeffy.

195 responses to “Sweet, sweet oblivion”

  1. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Savarna had often wished for Walker to tenderly caress her ribcage. But not like this. No, never like this.
    Curtis: Give Billingsley credit, that is one great spit-take.

  2. lorne
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Your Granddad died before you were born love… and also, that’s not your granddad. That’s a studio headshot of Spencer Tracy. Where did you get that?

  3. Here Come the Judge
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker:

    “Sam, he’s not crazy, is he?”

    “No, he’s one of the most sane people I’ve ever met. I just met him yesterday, of course, but I can just tell. Suddenly dropping everything to park himself at a remote fishing lodge? Being so obsessed with his camera that he’s willing to risk everyone’s lives to get it back? Nope, definitely not crazy.”

  4. ScienceGiant
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MW: I’ll keep calling and texting him. That will send the clear message I only like him as a friend.

    Oh, Dawn, you’ve discovered how to friend-zone a guy!

    FC: do I sense Thel hopes to be dead before Jeffy spawns?

  5. wossname
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    @endless sky (#Y134): I know Todd Leopold IRL, so I will let him know that he and his work are being mentioned here again, and I’ll try to surreptitiously find out if he’s posting here under one of those familiar noms de blog — and then I’ll out him! Naw, just kidding – I’ll post infuriating hints and hit him up for hush money.

  6. Hibbleton
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    FC: It was here that Jeffy showed the first signs of the pathological narcissism which would one day earn him the nickname America’s Caligula.

    BB: Today’s strip makes more some sense if you imagine them both naked.

    MW: Dawn’s not so crazy after all. She spends so much time at Mary’s because as part of her volunteer work she’s feeding the old coot as shown in the last panel. It certainly explains the perpetual just-sucked-a-lemon-look on her face.

  7. Flying Manatee
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    FC: “Family Circle Featuring Jeffy”. Billy has effectively gone off to where the older brother from Zits disappeared to.

  8. Chyron HR
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: “They were cosplaying, Sam. And now I have to gun down ten junkies just to get the taste of saying that out of my mouth.”

  9. Horace Broon
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    BBlues: What did he say? “His”?

    Blondie: I know I’ve asked this before, as have others, but seriously, what is the deal with Blondie’s chair? It’s particularly jarring today, since she’s actually trying to watch the TV.

    DT: And yet, despite the revelation that Cinnamon Knight is just a LARPer who foils his girlfriend’s fake-robberies, he still strikes me as a better superhero than newspaper Spider-Man.

    PV: All that’s missing is Sir Roger’s male ward, Mac Marlon.

  10. Spunde
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    FC: So much left unresolved in settling for an easy gag. For instance, does the thought that her father never met her son leave Thel saddened, or relieved?

  11. Oregonian
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    When I was a teenager, I actually once snuck into a tour of a local funeral home. The funeral director showed us his selection of coffins and stressed (repeatedly) that any bodies placed inside would be safely protected from the surrounding soil for thousands of years. The seals, he told us, were made of rubber and the only things that could possibly break them down were air and sunlight, both of which are in short supply when you’re six feet under. Then as now, I didn’t really get why it was so important for a dead body to be hermetically sealed away from the surrounding earth, but it’s apparently a big selling point in the whole American industry of death.

    What I’m getting at here is that, when Stanley says he’s biodegradable, he’s really making it pretty damn clear that his wife should skip the whole funeral brouhaha and just toss his lifeless corpse onto the compost pile in the back yard.

  12. TheDiva
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FC: Don’t worry, Jeffey, you’ll always have Grandpa’s transparent, choir-robed form around to smile beatifically at your darling malapropisms.

    Shoe: “…So, storeroom?”

  13. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Guys, is it me, or is today’s panel of Slylock Fox stoically holding the side of the boat while cutting the crates free the most awesome thing ever? Seriously, it only took a single Sunday to make Sly more badass than anyone you’d find in a “serious” strip.

    I’d better stop. I’m getting way to into a children’s comic.

  14. TheDiva
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    A3G: This will be the blandest, whitest Bond movie ever.

    FW: “Thank you for understanding I will love these old comic books with far more passion than I have or will ever demonstrate to you.”

    Luann: Luann, your last big snog was with your laptop. I don’t think you need to concern yourself about this.

    MW: “I’ll stalk him day and night until he realizes I just want to be friends!”

    SM: I’m pretty sure performers who work with unleashed big cats don’t do shows in intimate cabaret settings where the front tables are within easy mauling reach. I’m also starting to think this entire arc is based on a single trip to Vegas Stan Lee took in 1973.

  15. McManx
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Family Circus – Occasionally Granddad is shown in outline as a spirit visiting the family. He always looks pleased, which I took as his spiritural caring for his family. Now I know he was just so eternally glad he died before Jeffy was hatched.

    Phantom – I’m not so sure I’d want a guy with a skull fetish to recover my remains. “I can’t leave her down here! She’ll make a great bookend…”

    Prince Valiant – First it was nipples in “Judge Parker”, then underboob in “Arlo and Janis.” Now, implied nudity in “Prince Valiant.” I am now certain the decline of Western Civilization is upon us.

  16. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    FC: Surely this is retconning. I distinctly remember Dead Grandpa playing with all the melonheads before he went to heaven.

    // Or is that their Other Grandpa?

  17. Stroker Ace
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    FC – No Granddad and now no Twinkies. Back to school tomorrow. Your childhood sucks, Jeffy.

  18. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @McManx (#15): re PV: I, for one, welcome our naked Overlords (and Overladies).

  19. Col. Havoc
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Check out the throwaway panels. It gets weirder. Much weirder. Who are these dogs? Why have we never seen them before? Should we fear them? Are they destined to become recurring characters, beginning on the fringes of the strip, but slowly and methodically infiltrating Treetops as they pick off the existing cast one by one? I, for one, am in favor of this plot development.

  20. debussy fields
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    MW– For Christ’s sake, Jim and Dawn just met, didn’t they? They haven’t been going together for two years and are now thinking of getting married or something. They met. They talked. Jim got mad at perceived negative feelings concerning his missing arm. Dawn felt misunderstood and tried to explain. Jim didn’t take well to the explanations. That should have been the end of it. The end of a “friendship” that never really got off the ground. There’s nothing to discuss here, yet Dawn and Mary continue to discuss it with no end in sight.

    When I lived on the farm, I’d look out the window on a Sunday morning to view a nice steaming pile of bullshit. Now I live in the city and get the newspaper delivered to my door, with Mary Worth waiting for me inside. Same thing.

  21. Chareth Cutestory
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Shoe: The Perfesser is a serial killer who preys on stumblebums walking through the parking lot after last call. What does he do during his hunting season? What does he want? Perfesser “Machine” isn’t talking.

  22. endless sky
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Pickles: Whew! At first I thought they were checking for Depends failure.

  23. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Here Come the Judge (#3): It was yesterday? I just…kind of lost count of time on this strip.

  24. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#11): They eliminate intestinal bacteria too?

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Frazz: what the little Asian girl said.

    CdS: Alice does not understand Garfield.

    GF: o_O

    HotC: borrowing an idea from Mutts.

    Lio: leaf elementals?!?

    Luann: Bernice prepares to take the relationship up about 5 notches. . .

    SBp: /facepalm @ the pun.

    DT: costume sex in 3, 2, 1. (Watchmen did it first!)

    MG&G: is about dog farts.

    Mutts: gentle win.

    PV: continued service! (with hint of sideboob)

    6Cx: FU.

    SFx: featuring sea turtles and propeller shark zombies.

    rMC: meta FTW. (Please Ed, tell us you were wearing pants in this one!)

  26. Anonymous
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Finally the shoe/pluggers crossover nobody knew they wanted.

  27. bbofun
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    A3G- I’ve just figured it out. Look at the fashions, the coloring- the utter late-60′s feeling. A3G is not just out-of-date- it’s actually set over 40 years ago. And, soon, Greg will change his name to George Lazenby. Skyler? Well, in those days, you could play a waitress with one line and be considered a “Bond Girl”.

    This would also explain Greg’s “Playboy adviser” seduction tactics- ‘I have some extra take-out- you’d be doing me a favor by helping me eat it!” “Let’s listen to my hi-fi!” “Let’s dance to Sinatra!”

    Because, otherwise, this strip is being written by an idiot.

    Also (dropping the previous thought)- Evan thought he was pretty cool luring Skyler away. But Margo still has the new frickin’ James bond as a client! I don’t think losing a starlet’s gonna seriously hurt her.

    ASM- “Kraven’s been pardoned! But Spider-man has never been convicted of a crime! In fact, he’s caught several criminals and has even saved my life in the past! WE NEED TO STOP HIM!” Oh, JJJ, never change.

    DT- “But, don’t worry, Sam! We can still get them for disturbing the peace! And, hell, an assault charge will probably stick, too, since she threatened the clerk! It’ll still be a good day.”

    FW- Or, in the case of Funky- “Art is masturbation on paper.” (I’m very, very, sorry.)

    JP- I know who could get the Judge there faster! Peaches! (I know, I’m pathetic.)

    RMMD- Props to the writing of Honey’s little “back story”- it told the whole thing in 3 panels, with a wry twist at the end, without stopping the action. nicely done! (Plus, you know June’s going to suggest it’s not too late for her to go into nursing- so maybe we’ll get to see Honey in a cute little nurses’ outfit!) (I really need to get a girlfriend.)

    9CL- Amos believes his marriage will be Edda dominating the act with acrobatic flourishes, garnering all the attention, while he magically appears on the opposite side from where he was to catch her.

    Sounds about right.

    Luann- Stab her with the scalpel. Just do it. No jury in the world will ever convict you.

  28. Ukulele Ike
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#1): Ghost-Who-SCUBAs: Savarna also had steamy daydreams about getting eaten out, but it looks like the limpets, sea cucumbers, and barnacles got to her first.

  29. seismic-2
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    In a major step forward in race relations, today we see a couple of costumed thrill-seekers engage in an interracial kiss in the last panel of Dick Tracy, of all strips. However, in a major step backwards, we see in the last panel of Prince Valiant that a violent band of rural Britons have dug up and skinned Redd Foxx.

    FC: “No, Jeffy, you never got to meet your grandfather. Of course, I met your father only once myself, at that key party in Cleveland.”

    Shoe: That list of critters that have a hunting season in this strip should also include possums, if that toupee’ is any indication.

  30. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Beetle – Beetle and Sarge and their sick relationship. I never ask, but they just can’t quit telling.

    Hi – Good running play there from Popeye the Sailor, taking a little time away from his usual gig announcing unavailable strips at the syndicate.

    My Cage – Today it’s Norm’s turn to do a strip about Ed Power. (Have faith, Ed, and keep reading those Snapple caps.)

  31. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Valiant – Why is Red Hood teetering? Is she wearing heels with that ensemble? Fie, woman! O’erweening vanity hath spoiled better schemes than this!

    Slylock – From the expressions of the fishes, the turtle isn’t wearing underwear in any of them, but in the second one, he’s, well, turgid.

    AD – Wiley is so traumatized by the spider, he grew another leg.

  32. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Dennis [Sat] – “See ya later, Mom. Mr. Wilson told us to go fuck ourselves.”

    Mary – Dawn, in the last panel, you’re doing it again. You’re feeding Mary as you talk to her. That’s kind of creepy.

    Shoe – Off the point, but the throwaway panel is a lot like a Donald Duck Sunday page I have (from being reprinted in a comic book) where Donald Duck is out in a boat, duck hunting. There aren’t any ducks, but he finds a fishing line in the boat and ties it to his shotgun, and a fish gets the hook and pulls the gun away. After that, he’s surrounded by ducks. Duck-ducks, not man-ducks or duck-men. TO LOSE ALWAYS. THAT IS THE LAW!

  33. David Schraub
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    I feel compelled to point out that Turkeys, Pheasants, Ducks and Doves are all birds as well, and if the powers-that-be allowed them to be gunned down for sport and pleasure I can’t imagine they’d have drafted an exception for whatever mutant species the Shoe birds are supposed to represent.

  34. Ned Ryerson
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: “No dear, I meant what are you going to do with that fork? You’re pointing it straight at my face.”

  35. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man – When Peter smiles with that half-mask on his face, it’s the equivalent of George Reeves, as Clark Kent, smiling out at the audience while saying something like “Oh, I think Superman knows.”

    [Reeve's Clark Kent was one of the great characters in all fiction. The guy with a secret joke on all humanity. "Clark, are you coming?" (With a little smile at the audience) "Be there in a second, Lois!"]

    @IagoPogo (#y165): I’ve been an erstwhile fan since then!
    Erstwhile? Why’d you stop?

    @Droopy Says (#y195): Shoe was originally Jeff MacNelly’s strip.

    @ScienceGiant (#4): FC: do I sense Thel hopes to be dead before Jeffy spawns?
    Well, in that case, she got her wish. RIP Thel Keane — she’s been dead a couple-three years or so now.

    @Horace Broon (#9): And yet, despite the revelation that Cinnamon Knight is just a LARPer who foils his girlfriend’s fake-robberies
    Did they reveal that today? Ha! I called it! (Can’t find the Sunday strip online.)

  36. McManx
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#18): Well, when you put it that way, a naked comic apocalypse doesn’t sound too bad afterall.

  37. Weaselboy
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: And the award for Tortured Metaphor of the Year goes to Brooke McEldowney.

  38. Mibbitmaker
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FC: Jeffy’s granddad is Don Pardo — who is very much alive at 90-something. Don’t get full of yourself, Jeffy (cartoonist or character), he’s deliberately avoiding knowing you!

    Yesterday’s ReFOOB: What a jerk! He doesn’t even deserve an automotive empire!

    Shoe:
    Elmer Fudd: “Sshh! Be vewy, vewy quiet — I’m hunting dwunk bird-men! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh!”

  39. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#38): I’m hunting dwunk bird-men!
    Of Alcatwaz!

  40. endless sky
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    FC: Always about you, Jeffy; it’s all about you, not poor dead Grandpa.

  41. Illustrator Steve
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MT – When a female approaches Mark Trail’s bower, he begins his courtship dance by franticly waving his fists-O-justice(tm) around before abruptly leaving for the southern part of the state, hoping that she will accept his invitation to wait three months for him to return home to check his area.

  42. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Just wanna toss out there that Get Fuzzy made me do a spit-take this morning.

    Yeah, every now and again the old magic returns. That being said, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a reprint of a strip I simply didn’t remember.

  43. Illustrator Steve
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    MT – I gave my sister one of those blue-eyed satin Bowerbirds for her wedding because she told me she needed something bowered, something blue.

  44. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    I was posting here, not too long ago, and someone requested that I do a page on BOWER BIRDS. I can’t quite remember who requested it… but todays page is a direct result of that request. My girlfriend reads this blog and looked into the birds and was amazed at what she found. She then told me and I looked into it and … well, here it is! http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

    I hope you all enjoy
    ‘James Allen
    p.s. “notice the innuendo?”

  45. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Guys, I’m serious, Slylock Fox is magnificent today! It has a propeller shark zombie!

    …Seriously, that was not drawn by an 8-year-old. If it was, though, I’m adopting him.

  46. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Shoe seems to be covered by The Disney Paradigm, which allows some dogs to be cognizant, upright beings who actually have normal, on all fours, dogs as pets.

    However, the Shoe bird-people going duck hunting is a bit disturbing. Makes me wish a classic, pissed off, Donald Duck would do a walk on and kick Shoe squarely in his fat, feathered butt.

  47. seismic-2
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    It’s sad to think that the barroom in Shoe is the Perfesser’s bower. It’s working out just about as well as you would expect.

  48. Arabella
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    FC: How old is Jeffy supposed to be? Doesn’t he go to kindergarden? You’d think by age 5 he’d realize his Grandad had not been around during his short lifetime. Has someone been planting false memories of them playing together?

  49. Mibbitmaker
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    ReFOOB: Mother Nature: “Nope, the ‘specialest snowflake’ doesn’t get one actual snowflake! You’ve got a bigger ego than Jeffy Keane, kid.”

    FW: The past comes back to life… because that’s when this strip didn’t suck.

    JP: Farewell, Roseanne-Sarah Palin hybrid creature. You were better than either of them.

  50. Calico
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Why is Dawn trying to spoon-feed (actually fork-feed) Mary? Is it a metaphor for telling the old biddy exactly what she wants to hear with every conversation?

  51. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Based on the visage of poor, dead FC grandpa, he appears to have been a 40+ year old parent of a 40+ year old mother.

    That goes a long way in explaining the genetic weaknesses displayed by this crew on a daily basis.

  52. Liam
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-It doesn’t matter what fruit they take because by the time they got the boxes open the ship will have sunk and they will have drowned.

    Luann-Knowing how to dissect a frog is important when you use those skills to silence a friend.

    FW-Like the past of when you guys were funny.

    MW-Why don’t you tell him the truth that his incestuous feelings for his dead sister is creeping you out?

  53. Calico
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#49):
    I’d love to see a mashup of the final panel, with Widdle Lizardbreath saying
    “OK, God, you can take me now.”

  54. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or do the characters in the delusional Jump Start make the Huxtable family look like underachievers?

    And why does Mary Worth give me vertigo some days? Is it the cock-eyed panels and odd perspectives of the artwork? Or does Dawn’s stupidity just make me dizzy?

    Why is the past (at least before 1960) always sepia-toned? I was there. I don’t remember any sepia tones. Maybe the Westview of Crankshaft’s childhood didn’t have color yet.

    Lots to diss about FOOB, I know, but Brad Luggsworth was a great name for a bully.

  55. Esther Blodgett
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    JP: And…scene. Strike the fishing lodge set and bring in the old lady and the idiot judge’s son.

    FW: I wonder if Mrs. Crazy realizes that each and every stack of comic books has one superhero title on top and the rest are underground porn comics?

    FC: Am I the only one who finds it creepy that the family keeps an 8×10 glossy of Dead Grandpa lying around for the kids to find?

  56. pugfuggly
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    BH When I picture the daily lives of the characters of Better Half, it’s hour-long stretches of stony silence, interrupted only occasionally by an out-of-context remark.

    FC After Grandad made a few unfortunate remarks about the wisdom of the Kompound’s Kode of Laws over Thanksgiving dinner, he is proclaimed dead by the regime and stripped from the family album. “No dear, you don’t remember Grandad. He died before you were born and before he could pollute your mind with reactionary ideas.”

  57. seismic-2
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    FC: “Yes, Jeffy, you played with Grandpa a lot, especially when you tossed rocks at him as we set him adrift on the ice flow.”

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    A Wish For Wings That Work.

    I’m guessing that Lindsey will be added to this list.

    Baka Gaijin has called out the Guard. (nsfbg)

    yes, yes it did. (Paperman is the short before Wreck It Ralph, for those who haven’t seen it yet.)

    Happy SunOtter!

    Happy Corgi.

    Prince Charles with a corgi. (1964)

  59. endless sky
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: Donna smiles to herself, mentally calculating the value of those vintage comics. With luck it will be enough for her much-needed plastic surgery. Now to get rid of Harry…

  60. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G Did anyone else notice the important redaction in today’s A3G weekly recap? Greg is no longer bragging about his inches the way he was the other day (http://joshreads.com/?p=15665). I’d like to think that it’s all due to the power of snark, but it’s probably just to save an inch or two of space.

  61. Alter Ego
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MW – “When you are in, continue firm and constant.” That also works for when you are being “more than friends.”

  62. Midtown
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#61): Socrates, you old dog! You and your double entendres!

  63. Joke Killer
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    “The innumerable dead are not thankful for much, but they are thankful for this: they have been spared knowledge of Jeffy.”

    It’s funny because Josh hates children.

    JOKE KILLER STRIKES AGAIN.

  64. ScienceGiant
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Midtown (#62): See? It’s comments like that which corrupted the youth of Athens!

    But #20 Debussy is the stuff of which COTE are made: “When I lived on the farm, I’d look out the window on a Sunday morning to view a nice steaming pile of bullshit. Now I live in the city and get the newspaper delivered to my door, with Mary Worth waiting for me inside. Same thing.”

  65. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Joke Killer (#63): I happen to know for a fact that Josh loves children. He had two for breakfast this morning.

  66. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    For those of you who may remember that I had a very unattractive fit of envy over Josh’s Kickstarter campaign, I would just like to say that I am NOT “Joe Killer.” Because if I wanted to rip Josh, I would be, like, amusing.

  67. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    It’s always neat to see literature, even modern writing, adapted for the screen, particularly for children

  68. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MT Notice that the man-made objects that the blue-eyed satin bowerbird has chosen to decorate his love nest are the little blue pills? Smooth move, Blue-eyes!

    FW “Because when you hold them in your hands again… the past suddenly comes back to life.”
    She looks wistful as she remembers when Harry used to hold her in his hands. But, never again, now that he loves his old comics more than her. And she is okay with that, yes, more than okay with that.

    BG&SS Parson Tuttle makes a subtle theological point: The Creator may grant Nelly a man, but no one, on heaven or earth, would dare to sanctify such a terrible union.

    Luann Bernice! Go ahead – gut her the way you were planning to gut that frog. No one will believe it wasn’t an accident.

    MW You know I’m compelled to point out that it’s been over a week that Mary and Dawn have been waving that pie around and not eating it.

  69. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I’m sure that all of us Curmudgeons and every Phantom reader with an IQ over 30 (there are two of us) realize that this is not going to be Savarna, but rather one of Savarna’s victims. I was thinking, though, how much I really like Savarna. Fierce, passionate, she would make a wonderful companion for Walker, but alas, he can never be hers. For some reason this reminds me of my own situation.
    *sigh* -Oh, Mr. Sc…

  70. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#68): Some of us remember when Crazy Harry’s wife was a boy. Maybe that’s what they are remembering with such fondness.

  71. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    Comics Curmudgeon Poll (since so many of us *are* Poles): How many of you think Joke Killer is Tom Batiuk? How many think he is Greg Evans? How many believe heor she is a random 15-year old?

  72. Daniel
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Did Non Sequitur just rip off the comic version of The House on the Borderlands?

  73. Daniel
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and Zits forgot to add açaí.

  74. Konrad
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#54): “The world didn’t turn color until the 1930′s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.”

    And I’m surprised I haven’t seen anyone comment on the nipples in Get Fuzzy today.

  75. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Konrad (#74): Get Fuzzy is a crossover with Judge Parker today.

  76. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    I figure that even in Shoeville, they must have movie theaters. I wonder if they have discount ones and refer to them as the Cheep Seats…

  77. Midtown
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#54): You don’t remember the sepia? You must not have grown up in a smoggy, industrial city before anti-pollution laws. (cough, wheeze)

  78. KreatureFeatures
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    FW: Mort Meskin also said that he couldn’t make a living drawing comic books. He had to abandon that career, and shill for beer and soda pop companies for the last two decades of his career. So, what Mort Meskin would probably say to you personally is, “Throw out these piles of musty trash, and get a job.”

  79. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Did you smirk when you made that pun? Can I elbow you in the ribs?

  80. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    79 – Was supposed to be a reply to bats at #76 but the ‘reply’ function is not working all of a sudden. God’s way of telling me to get back to work?

  81. The Voice of God
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#80):

    No, My way of telling you to get back to work is just “GET BACK TO WORK!”

    There are heathen to smite and comics to snark at. Covet not thy neighbor’s ass, but get instead thine own in gear.

    // Verily.

  82. Baka Gaijin
    November 25th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#58): Is it people getting ready to whale some whoop-ass a clown or a group of clowns or someone thinking about turning to the dark side? If so, I wholeheartedly endorse it.

  83. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Joke Killer (#63):

    Oh…I thought you were Joe Killer, but you can’t be. Joe Killer was funny.

  84. sporknpork
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Oh thank god! It’s just the Better Half. I thought Ziggy got some pants and found true love with a human.

  85. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Konrad (#74):

    I did. I said GF made me do a spit take. The “human suit” Bucky wears is inspired.

  86. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Midtown (#77):
    Come to think of it, the rivers did catch on fire back then.

  87. Spyglass
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Wait, so that’s supposed to be the joke in Shoe? That women hunt men at last call? For sex? That’s a thing, then? I had assumed he was saying that the bartender guns down anybody who hasn’t paid off their tab when the clock strikes one.

  88. Calico
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#6):
    Sorry, didn’t see your post until now.
    Feeding, then change of Depends ™. Then two Nembutal for “That Black Hole.” LOL

  89. Calico
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

  90. Nekrotzar
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Did I get to play with Grandpa much when I was little?

    No, dear, he took one look at you in the nursery and drank bleach.

  91. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#85): I thought this was great…and then they started dancing! bwahahahahahaha!

  92. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    And you didn’t think I’d forget our favorite serial comics, did you?

  93. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    FC — Wait a minute, something’s wrong. No way should Jeffy be uttering that final line without Dead Grandpa, attired in standard cord-belted Heaven-robe, smiling beatifically down at him from a cloud. Has someone at FC, Inc., been feeling kinda down recently?

  94. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#92): BWAHAHA!

  95. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#93): Arrrgh, something ELSE is wrong. Look at the distance between Mommy Keane’s butt and her knees. It’s not just me, is it? Please say it’s not just me.

  96. Chaze
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#91):

    The third panel, with Bucky in the nipples suit, is my new PC wallpaper. That’s right up there with Calvin’s school pictures.

  97. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    OW! I just tripped over Ripley’s and stubbed my toe.

    PAERHATI from Zingjiang, China, recently turned down an offer of $1.9 M for ONE of his rare WAGIR SHEEP!

    He was saving it as a gift for Sam Driver.

  98. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#95): CAN’T… UNSEE…

  99. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#98): HAR!! Sorry!

  100. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#95): Hmmm. It looks like Mama Keane’s legs actually sunk down through the bed and she’s using fake legs to drape over the edge of the bed. Those Keane pranks are priceless!

    “Go ahead, Jeffy. Punch me in the legs. I won’t feel a thing.”

    Good catch there Poteet!

  101. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    FC — Per certain earlier posts, I think a pretty good case could be made that the entity known as “Jeffy” should not be classified as a child. And if he were classified as an alien or a grotesquely-failed slime-mold experiement, there would be protests from aliens and slime molds.

  102. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#101): “Experiment.” Geez.

  103. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#100): Ewwwww…

  104. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#44): I did a big report on bowerbirds when I was in sixth grade or so, and became so enthused about them that my mother still remembers my obsession. Thanks for the memories!

  105. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#29): Thanks for saying that about SHOE so I didn’t have to.

  106. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    BETTER HALF — In Stanley’s defense, sort of, I feel compelled (you have been warned) to point out that there is a growing movement to take more advantage of the human body’s ability to break down once dead, via cremations, donations to body farms, “green” no-embalming-or-coffins cemeteries, etc. I won’t go into my own minor wish to be eaten by vultures when deceased because people always edge away when I start to talk about it. I don’t see why that’s so much weirder than wanting to be filled with formalde …oh, never mind.

  107. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @The Voice of God (#81): I am heartily sorry for coveting Nehemiah Scudder’s ass.

  108. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#89): What, have you already recovered from your apocalyptic birthday celebration? (Ah, to be 50 again. Backward, turn backward, o time in thy flight…)

  109. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#107): Nehemiah Scudder has a donkey?

  110. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109): Yes indeedy. He has the cutest ass you ever saw.

  111. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109): My goodness, whatever did you think I meant?

  112. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

  113. lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#112): I told you it was cute. I believe he calls it “Spark Plug”

  114. Uncle Lumpy
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#83):

    Joe Killer was funny.

    Joe died laughing.

  115. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#112): You can’t fool me. That’s Gunther in an ass suit.

  116. Uncle Lumpy
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Josh:

    Your Uncle Lumpy has got me reading the Better Half, of all things …

    Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. It is only a matter of time.

  117. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#113): Should I Google that?

  118. seismic-2
    November 25th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#108):
    Backward, turn backward, o time in thy flight
    And it will be yesterday morning tonight.

    — Richard Armour’s explanation of Daylight Savings Time

  119. seismic-2
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#113): Actually, “Spark Plug” is the thoroughbred. The ass is called “Aunt Sukie”.

  120. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#116): I thought it would be more like this.

    (Thanks, queek)

  121. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#120): happy to put one of my titles to use for the greater good. :-)

  122. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    MW I am not confident that Mary is treating Dawn’s dilemma with an appropriate level of concern. Pie and platitudes just won’t cut it. There is too much at stake with Dawn’s decision whether to gently persuade Jim to accept being just friends, engage in a romantic relationship, or to dump Jim’s ass sadly part ways. Dawn should consider carefully the consequences of her choices, keeping in mind that Jim is an aqua-not. Friends or lovers, it will mean Dawn will be restricted in many ways: no more unwinding at the pier, no more seafood dinners at the Bum Boat, and, most important of all, NO MORE POOL PARTIES! Dawn must not take this decision lightly, there are too many Charterstoners depending on her.

  123. Lynn
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Again my reply is not working, but thank you, seismic-2, I forgot about Aunt Sukie. Also – love Richard Armour! I have several of his books. What a wit.

  124. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    *snurk*

    a google for “Kawaii Commando” results in the first 8 images being from snarkitupfuzzball.

    once again, we’ve broken the internet. (and bats :[ rocks.)

    further down, I did find something kawaii possibly commando. (sfw)

  125. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#124): First up Google ID doesn’t come cheap. bats :[ must be loaded.

  126. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#71): The antichrist. It’s prophecy from the Revelation to John: The antichrist hath no sense of humor. And bad teeth.

  127. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#125): loaded, with KEWTNESS!

    (yes, a Tu’i pic is one of the first line of results)

  128. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#127):

    Why did I hear Triumph the Insult Dog’s voice when I read that?

  129. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#118): Thank you! Brilliant! I can’t wait to use that in… what… April? Or next November?

  130. demoncat
    November 25th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    mw i will keep calling and texting him for he will be delighted to hear from me even knowing he will soon die at your hands mary shoe. kind of creepy that one barfly is wondering why there is not hunting season on his fellow residents of shoe world. thus aknowledgeing they are birds

  131. Alter Ego
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#25):

    Luann: Bernice prepares to take the relationship up about 5 notches. . .

    While modeling proper safe sex technique for Luann at the same time! That Bernice is one heck of an educator.

  132. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @demoncat (#130): The Shoe characters have elevated themselves above “common” species of birds, and have put hunting seasons in place to remind them who’s in charge. But every once in a while, the nagging fear that it won’t last forever trickles into their minds.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#131): not just ravenous, incestuous and bisexual, but educational as well!

    yatta!

  134. bats :[
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#124): oh. hey. go, Me! (Of course, that’s only because I’m crediting you with the wackiness!)
    Still, that’s pretty cool. *smug*

  135. Amateur
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    MW: What is this, a master class in codependency?

  136. Jamus The Bartender
    November 25th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#13): Guys, is it me, or is today’s panel of Slylock Fox stoically holding the side of the boat while cutting the crates free the most awesome thing ever? Seriously, it only took a single Sunday to make Sly more badass than anyone you’d find in a “serious” strip.

    I’d better stop. I’m getting way to into a children’s comic.

    You’re right….it is pretty badass….but “getting way into a children’s comic”? Dude, you haven’t even begun.

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#136): *snurk*

    I had considered replying to that post with a link to your collected stories page, but got sidetracked and forgot about it.

    glad to see you hit it out of the park without my assistance. *gigglez*

  138. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#76) said: “I figure that even in Shoeville, they must have movie theaters. I wonder if they have discount ones and refer to them as the Cheep Seats…”

    Yes they do. You can identify them by their large numbers of egg sits.

  139. Jamus The Bartender
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137): Thanks…..it’s a trip into madness, for sure….:) Kinda like when Martin Sheen meets Brando in Apocalypse Now. Or when he goes to visit Charlie and his pornstar family.

  140. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#136): & @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137):

    Talk about badass, what about Jack Jenkins, age 8, with his drawing of a Propeller Shark Zombie?

  141. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#136): No, I think I’m too into it. I’ve been thinking of making a blog about Slylock Fox because every day I want to spam the CC with comments about the art. “OOOH LOOKY JOSH, LOOKIT THE HOLE WITH THE LITTLE STARING EYES!! WHY DIDN’T YOU MENTION THEM? OMG SHIRTLESS SLYLOCK SO SEXXXXAY”

    On a related note, does anyone know if there are Slylock collections other than the Six Differences books? ‘Cause I like Six Differences, but I prefer the mysteries.

  142. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    I, obviously, am not a Pole. But Joke Killer is as obviously one of the melonheads. Or maybe a High Priest of the Holy Church of Greg Evans. Yeah.

  143. The Ridger
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

  144. K. Ivan Ruppert
    November 25th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Silly Josh, nothing about the Perfessor could ever be beautiful, no matter the effort or context employed.

  145. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#143): Ooh, thanks! Seems to be in black and white, but I can color it with the awesome power of my brain.

  146. Uncle Lumpy
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#141):

    I’ve been thinking of making a blog about Slylock Fox because every day I want to spam the CC with comments about the art.

    I, for one, would be very interested to know the backstories of the eyes that peer out from every dark cranny, the snakes looking on with an air of coiled menace, and above all Max. How did he fall in with Slylock, anyway? What secrets does he carry to protect the fox? Does he have dreams of his own?

  147. Jamus The Bartender
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#145): This is the sort of thing i’m talking about Ink. Check out entry #77.

    http://joshreads.com/?p=1433

  148. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: Sorry, I don’t think last call has ever been Perfesser hunting season in the history of barhopping.

    FW: Can see the appeal for Harry of the past coming back to life. I mean, the past offers him talking autumn leaves and pizzas you can play on a turntable. The present has cancer and self righteous comic book guys with bad toupees.

    SFx: Slylock will wash his hands of the whole ordeal and give the seagull permission to feast on rodent. What, did you think this was the first Max?

    Luann: This just in, Luann wishes their science teacher gave them more info on making out. He sometimes thinks about it, but he’s too pretty to go to prison.

    SSmith: The Parson is really showing the grace and tact appropriate to ministerial life in those throwaway panels.

    Phantom: Ghost-Who-Leaps-to-Conclusions just found a skeleton. Savarna had a skeleton. So obviously…

    PV: Between last week’s hot tub fest and today’s topless Rhoda, Yeates is really covering all the fanservice bases.

    Archie: Mary Andrews has an Uncle Leo? I didn’t even know Jerry Seinfeld had a sister.

    H&L: A phrase I hope never to write, say or think again is “lovingly drawn Pee Wee football player asses.”

    RMMD; I’m now picturing Delores/Phoenix as a crotchety old lady with bifocals. Obviously it won’t turn out that way, but wouldn’t it be awesome if once gave JFK a lapdance?

    DT: I’m not surprised by the “hero” and “villainess” being lovers. Since this team mixes in some present day savvy with their deco aesthetic, the interracial aspect isn’t a shock either. But Clarence Williams III and P!nk? That’s kind of a curveball.

  149. tallyHO
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#141):

    Allow me to be serious for a moment.

    (excuse me while I remove my clown nose and pop in my monocle.
    there. A bit blurry but a top hat will clear that right up and I shall look
    sharper.)

    What Weber does with the Slylock comic is produce the most delightful comic strip cartoons I’ve seen. There’s always something going on in every day’s installment. It doesn’t matter if it is some puzzle, quasi-puzzle or a blown up CSI-like crime scene, for kids.

    The drawings are great. They accomplish something very effective while using very simple style to show the reader what is going on. But, like a lot of good things, the simplicity belies its complexity. There’s a backstory in much of what he puts together on a daily basis.

    Well, maybe the backstory isn’t fleshed out but all of the elements are there so that they could be sussed out. It may not be worth anyone’s time to bother but if you just do more than gloss over it, look at everything that is there, it is usual a funny premise.

    For me, I’ve (obviously?) taken time to make fun of Slylock’s mysteries. But, really, I’m actually just keying off of funny drawings. If any of the art was painful to look at, I would not bother to look. But, it is kind of delightful. That is not a bad thing to me.

    Plus, every Sunday you get to see what a possibly artistically-inclined eight year-old considers “cool”. Seriously. We live in the age when a kid can just upload their drawings online to show his friends and kids in general might aspire for some odd level of fame–sometimes, with questionable motivations or solutions for how to acheive said level of fame. And, there are kids who want to try to get their drawings published in Slylock’s Sunday Funnies. That’s encouraging for them. That’s good, too.

    Obviously that kind of platform has existed for decades. Reader submissions obviously fuel “Pluggers”–just like beans and beer do.

    But, I digress.

    It is fun and harmless. Like I wrote yesterday, in a Convo with Droopy*, comics work better when the writer/artist doesn’t take themselves too seriously and the strip too seriously. Realizing the absurdity of the drawings is what helps it make it fun to draw. That’s my opinion, sure. But, that translates well to anyone who sees it, too. While I was saying “serious” strips should lighten up, like “Dick Tracy” is being made, there’s no reason for ones that attempt to be fun or funny to NOT acheive those basic goals.

    The body of Slylock work I’ve seen, holds up rather well. Kudos, Bob Weber! Keep on Keepin’ On!

    *Convo with Droopy. Coming to ABC next Fall!

  150. Sgt. Stoned
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#35): Reeves best line ever, in my opinion, came in the episode “Five Minutes to Doom”: “Lois, sometimes I think you underestimate me.”

  151. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#16): Yeah, I seem to remember Grandad playing with all the kids, right down to PJ. Maybe Keane had to do a retcon because of all the hard-edged topical storylines he’s done since then.

  152. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#27): re A3G: Phew! For a second there I thought you were going to posit that Skyler was Dame Diana Rigg.

  153. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#104):

    I aim to please!
    You’re welcome
    ‘James

  154. Chip Whittle
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148):

    Luann: This just in, Luann wishes their science teacher gave them more info on making out. He sometimes thinks about it, but he’s too pretty to go to prison.

    Um…the only teacher in Luann’s school is Mr. Fogarty. I guess he’s “pretty” if you have a thing for the Muppet customer who keeps getting Grover as his waiter.

    Also, looking that up on Wikipedia because I certainly can’t remember the names of Luann characters has caused me to learn that Gunther’s full name is “Gunther Berger”, and now somehow I hate him all the more.

  155. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#44): Today’s strip made me want to find some bower birds—so cool! Well done.

  156. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Dawn heard that once Jim gets a girl alone in a car, he turns into a regular quadropus.

  157. Uncle Lumpy
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Lacking an arm, Jim holds a decorative object in his beak.

  158. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#147): …Dang. You boys are lucky Cassandra’s in the strip. I get Buford Bull once in a blue moon and meh, not enough chest hair.

    @tallyHO (#149): You basically just spelled out every reason I like Slylock. Weber is a master with that pencil, and he’s able to set up funny and complicated situations with no words other than “Find the six differences between these panels”. And while I think we all love Josh’s “animal police state” interpretation, the cartoons are so silly and whimsical that they’re the one of the only things on the funny pages that don’t need Josh to make them fun.

  159. Peanut Gallery
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#156): I LOL’d.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#157): (Slylock Fox) – In the absence of any remaining lifejackets or raft, Max is employing isometrics.

  160. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    PV — Well, shoot. I hoped we’d get to see Val and Gawain stepping out of their tubs and getting dressed, very slowly. The reappearance of Sir Roger Inexplicable Yellowjacket hardly compensates.

  161. IagoPogo
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#35): I dunno, really. Attention Deficit Disorder? Curmudgeonitis? Too much weekday work to bother reading every day? Pick one or all…

  162. Inkwell
    November 25th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    I think the best thing about today’s Slylock is that the people in that raft wouldn’t make room for a little bitty mouse. Basically Max would be dead just from being screwed over so often if he didn’t have Slylock with him at all times.

  163. Little A.
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G: This is has been said before here on the site many times (that’s redundant): I can’t follow what is going on, I can tell the three women apart most of the time, but the men all look alike and dress like car test dummies from about 1960. Maybe they are car test dummies from 1960. The plots are awful and stupid, the drawing stinks. Why do we torture ourselves by looking at this strip every day? Why hasn’t it been dropped by every newspaper that still carries it? How many papers still carry it? Why am I wasting part of my life by reading it and commenting?

    By the way a few years ago I asked a question which, to the best of my memory, nobody answered: how can we find out for each strip, how many newspapers actually carry it? Are these numbers available someplace? Happy Thanksgiving to all snarkers, by the way.

  164. tallyHO
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#162):

    That brings up the simple question of:

    Why the heck were Max and Shylock on the boat in the first place?

    Slylock: Max, I get a good feeling that if we hop on that vessel that is exporting produce to some unknown place, we will complete the conditions needed for a perfect storm. What say we give this a go?

    Max: Enh. There’s nothing good on TV anyhow. Sure.

  165. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Little A. (#163):

    1960′s you say?

    Bobble heads were big back then, and there’s still lots of bobble head action in this strip too.

  166. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    JP — “One of the most sane people I’ve ever met.” After reading this strip for a few decades, I believe that.

  167. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#154): Ah, but the Wikipedia article also says that Mr. Fogarty is the history teacher, so unless the school is really cash-strapped (which isn’t out of the question), he wouldn’t be leading the frog dissections. I’m going on the theory that the science teacher is another faculty member Evans has never bothered to show.

  168. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#166): The quandary may be this; can an insane person declare another person sane?

  169. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#106): I’m with you, although I sort of favor sharks over vultures. My mother’s father was a navy man.

  170. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#168): I think the entire cast of JP lives by the rule of the Cheshire Cat — “We’re all mad here.”

  171. Poteet
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#169): I’d definitely consider sharks if I lived near the ocean. I like SHERMAN’S LAGOON.

  172. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#170): Then those outside the regular JP crew, e.g. Avery and Bea, et al., would be sane since Alice, an outsider in Wonerland, was the only sane one.

  173. Sequitur
    November 25th, 2012 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#172): Wonderland

  174. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Lynn (#71): I don’t think Joke Killer is Tom Batiuk, because he doesn’t write a wall o’ text. I don’t think it’s a fifteen year old kid, because he doesn’t seem that clever. And I don’t think it’s Greg Evans, because I’m sure he’d write something disturbing about a fifteen year old kid.

  175. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#172): I’m willing to believe, in the case of JP, that anyone who wanders onto the set can be counted as a cast member and that they are all crazy. I seem to recall that the Cheshire Cat told Alice that she was mad because she showed up in Wonderland. The fact that Bea became so fond of Avery is a sign of madness right there:-).

  176. Inkwell
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#164): No, no, it was a suicide mission. They intended to sink the ship with Wilbur and Dawn on it (Merry was the 871st person on their “People who look like Dawn” list, and now they’re finally onto Dawn), but got the wrong boat. The only reason they’re escaping is so they can finish their holy mission and die a dignified death, having rid the world of terrible hairstyles.

    …I guess if I’m still joking about the shipwreck storyline, I’m slower than Mary Worth.

  177. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    S-M — That hairy thing on Kraven is bizarre. Sometimes it seems to part at his shoulders and sometimes not. Sometimes it’s tawny and sometimes it’s red. Sometimes it pretty much heads straight down toward his butt and sometimes it flips up in back like Lu Ann’s hair in A3G. Is that hairy thing a wig, or several wigs, or what? Annoyed minds want to know.

  178. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: The wild animal act makes me hope for a riff on the night club scene from “Mighty Joe Young.” Meanwhile, how does Kraven’s showgirl/fangirl end up on his stage in her costume? Isn’t it time for her to be on the job at whatever show employs her as a showgirl? Or is it her night off, and has the manager generously allowed her to borrow her expensive, far-from-durable costume to appear unannounced in another club’s show? How do Kraven’s animals respond to the sudden presence of a new human in their routine? Why did I just give this strip more thought than its perpetrators give it in a monh?

    Jugs Parker: Avery is gone but, alas, not forgotten. Peaches is there, and has anyone remarked on how squicky it is that Avery would name his daughter “Peaches?”

    Mock Trail: Of course Mark Trail smiles at Otto’s obvious plan to kill him at sea. He’s certain that Otto needs him alive to collect the ransom. Unfortunately for him, Otto realizes that Elrod has no clip art for the heavily armed soldiers and police who would show up to deal with him after he kills Trail.

    Phantom: What I like here is the way Stripey-Butt has a whoile quiver of (presumably) tranquilizer-laced arrows. If the first one doesn’t work, will he have time to reload and fire again before the pissed-off lioness can kill him? Dude, wouldn’t it make more sense to use a rifle with a tranquilizer dart, loaded with a commercially-available sedative?

  179. Master Softheart
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#13): You know, if someone had asked me earlier this week what comic strip would have the most heart pounding action involving a knife-wielding hero on a sinking (or sunken) ship, I would have put my money on The Phantom. The fact that I was dead wrong tells me that Count Weirdly should update his life insurance the next time he goes up against the darker and grittier reboot of Slylock.

    But mostly it tells me that Kit Walker should have recruited Slylock and Max to help spring Diana from Gravelines prison – because you just know that whoever killed Savarna made some kind of absurd logical error or hinged their plan on mistaken information about marsupials or something that would have let Slylock avoid the watery grave. And honestly, even if they hadn’t, seeing Kit discovering a cartoon Fox’s skeleton in the sunken India Voyager II and swearing revenge would be about the most hilarious thing to ever appear on the comics page…

  180. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#177): The hairy thing on Kraven’s shoulders is an alien parasite, similar to the Titanian slugs in Heinlein’s “The Puppet Masters” but covered in a layer of fur. It changes colors and stands up when it becomes sexually aroused by Parker’s coy little cowlick.

  181. Chip Whittle
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#167):

    Ah, but the Wikipedia article also says that Mr. Fogarty is the history teacher, so unless the school is really cash-strapped (which isn’t out of the question), he wouldn’t be leading the frog dissections. I’m going on the theory that the science teacher is another faculty member Evans has never bothered to show.

    Google Image search indicates he’s also their English teacher, though, or his desperate plea to abandon his sapience makes even less sense than usual. I’ll take the “only teacher in school” interpretation.

    Also, the Wikipedia entry on Luann contains brief recaps of the many dropped plots or forgotten characters and make me really, really want to punch the comic strips. Furthermore, the Wikipedia entry on Luann is more than six thousand words long, which makes me want to somehow punch the abstract concept of information.

  182. Baka Gaijin
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Strips

    Get out the Ben & Jerry’s and Jennifer Anniston movies. Peter Parker has a man crush on Kraven the Hunter. This won’t end well.

    At this point, Bernice wishes it was Aunt Flo calling instead of Luann de Groot. Yes, I went there.

  183. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    A3G: Where can I order my “Quit trying to guilt me, Margo!” sweatshirt, coffee mug, and wall poster?

  184. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    BMar’ma’duq: So the Hellhound’s effort to bark out a summoning spell is thwarted by one of his mortal servants. It becomes apparent that some vengeful wizard trapped the demon Mar’ma’duq in canine form, leaving him to endure the humiliating life of a household pet. Payback is a bitch, dog, and it ain’t the kind you can mount!

  185. Damien
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    “[...]inside his tiny cranium”
    Judging by the shape of his “skull”, I’d wager his brain is actually inside his nose.

  186. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    Sunday Phantom: Stripey-Butt? That’s Savarna’s secret boyfriend. Her private quarters were private for a reason, dude.

  187. Dale
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:01 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#178):

    MARK TRAIL makes so little sense it hurts to think about it.

    Otto has offered a bet that has no benefit to him. The ransom shows up, Mark goes free. That’s what we expect from a standard ransom situation with honorable participants. If Otto loses the bet, he gives the ransom back and his supporters and employers kill him.

    What we haven’t been told is what happens if Mark doesn’t accept the bet.

  188. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:53 am [Reply]

    do you realize @Dale (#187): I wonder what Elrod believes will happen if Trail accepts the bet. Elrod, do you realize this will make your hero a gambler? The youth of America will see that their hero wallows in vice! The children, Elrod! Think of the children!

  189. Droopy Says
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#188): “do you realize”? Huh? Crap. Every time I accidentally brush this laptop’s touchpad, it does something weird to me.

  190. Lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    I ownder what time zone Nickolas Kalchik is in. However: Monday’s Phantom – wrong of me to LOL at panel 2?

  191. gleeb
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: This weak-armed man is allowed to drive a school bus. And it’s funny.

    ‘bean: Yes! Batiuk takes on unemployment in late middle age! The impossibility of finding a job, when one has only a narrow set of skills. The young punks who do hiring these days! The necessity for the crappy pizza joint to carry yet another of Funky’s hangers-on! This is gonna be hideous ad ridiculous!

    Sam Driver, Diner!: Finally, Sam will get to eat.

    Dick: OK, we’re back in Chicago. Can we talk about the Moon now, huh?

  192. CanuckDownSouth
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth‘s attempt to use texting abbreviations while also keeping the message completely clear is so hilariously sad that I can only conclude that even inanimate autocomplete computer programs go mad in that lavender-soaked nonEuclidean world.

  193. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    new thread!

    saved by Preview!

  194. Dean Booth
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what the birds in Shoe taste like, but the jokes taste like “Why did the chicken cross the road.”

  195. TheShadowUU
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    If I’m not mistaken, The Professor Is making his move on toupeed bird guy at said “last call”. Any port In A storm and all that.

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