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Our precious, beloved children, who are terrible

Curtis and Momma, 11/26/12

Comics artists! It is true that you are old and cranky, and that everything about the young people who don’t subscribe to the paper is annoying. Nevertheless, it is perhaps advisable for you to do a cursory bit of investigation to determine exactly how newfangled the habits and turns of phrase and cultural production of today’s youth are before you lambaste them in the comics pages as irritating novelties. For instance: auto-tune made its musical debut with Cher’s single “Believe,” which hit the airwaves in 1998! This means that it’s a musical production technique that is literally older than Curtis is, and would probably be familiar to his father already. Also, the word “awesome” in its weakened, colloquial sense of “very good” is first recorded in 1961, and was in vogue from around 1980. So have you been complaining about this usage for 30 or maybe even 50 years? Perhaps now is the time to give up on this particular fight!

Zits, 11/26/12

No, your attacks on the young should be universal and timeless. For instance, did you know that teenagers are monstrous, unthinking appetites, whose compliments cannot be taken seriously because they will vibrate ceaselessly in joy at anyone or anything that can sate their endless need?

295 responses to “Our precious, beloved children, who are terrible”

  1. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    9CL is . . . cross dressing.

    HotC: yeah, that’s pretty much a year-round thing.

    Luann: and two hours earlier makes it four times worse.

    R&R outdoes PBS for a bad and obvious pun.

    SBp: it’s BACON!!!

    Bizarro: unseen next panel involves Mace to the face.

    Crank: Hammy just jizzed in his fur.

    JP: gear in the car, junk in the trunk. it’s all good.

    PMP: TMI, dood, waaaaaaaaaaay tmi.

    RwO: proving that soul patches suck.

  2. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . hitting heads, and not really minding.

    *QLUNK*

  3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    MW: You gotta love the fact that amid all the pseudo-textspeak, Dawn still manages to fit in that apostrophe. Sure, use “u” for “you,” but for the love of god, dont fuck with contractions!

    A3G: Margo sits by the phone all weekend waiting for a man to call? Really?

    MT: Listen to Andy, Mark; he’s smarter than you.

  4. teenchy
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (Y#154): Now knowing Gunther’s full name is “Gunther Berger,” I’m almost inspired to dash off a song parody to the tune of the Austrian national anthem… almost.

  5. pugfuggly
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Momma Last night Francis crept into his mother’s room and left a tape playing with a hypnotic suggestion: ‘every time you hear the word ‘awesome’ you will not be able to speak for 2 minutes‘. The next day, he was pleased to find out that he can talk all he wants about his lackadaisical plans for the day without being subjected to Momma’s usual barbs or questions about his employment status. As long as he says ‘awesome’ as much as possible, of course.

    Now that the test-run is over, he can start on the new hypnotic suggestion that causes her to transfer him the money from her savings account

  6. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    A3G-Margo is done playing publicist. She wants to play clinging jealous girlfriend.

    Spiderman-Peter wishes Kraven would have his way with him.

    FW-Does this mean the end of the Les Moore Show I mean Funky Winkerbean?

    FW 2-Hey, everybody! This week Baituk is giving to give us all a lecture about how the lack of letter writing and using of the Postal System is forcing the Post Office to fire people.

  7. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    ZITS – If you read panel 1, as I did, to say “These hash brownies really hit the spot!”, then the rest of the strip makes a lot more sense.

  8. Mibbitmaker
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Momma, Zits: Oh, those kids adults comic strip writers today and their ultra-contrived wordplay!

    Momma: Although born the year the word in the above usage was, and past my kid-dom by the ’80s, I use “awesome” like that alot lately. I put the blame squarely on How I Met Your Mother.

    Curtis: Josh’s point taken, noting that, way before auto-tune, studio tricks were used way back in the ’60s to change the sound of John Lennon’s voice. John Lennon! Having said that, Curtis’s singer, there, is probably using his auto-tune because he has, in fact, no real musical talent on his own. So, Greg Wilkins… point taken.

  9. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

  10. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    ASM – The fan-service here reminds me of the entire recent week in RMMD, during which every panel in every strip had to mention that the clams were free, that all meals, from now into perpetuity, for Rex and June and their children and their children’s children, would be free. It is hard to believe that the author isn’t deliberately playing into the CC trope. Peter Parker’s “sullen, bitter jerk” expression and his job cleaning up elephant shit can’t just be accidental.

  11. Chareth Cutestory
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Zits: And with a diet of chili and burritos, he’s going to be hitting spots all over the bathroom wall.

    ::phone rings::
    Hello? CBS comedy dept? Why, yes, I’d love to come write jokes for you!

  12. Dartpaw86
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8):

    Curtis must be listening to Justin Beiber then.

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Curtis – An actual laugh-out-loud moment in the “Land of the Lost” remake came when Will Ferrell and Danny McBride put their hands on the vibrating alien crystal and sang “Believe”.

    Kids born after auto-tune will grow up thinking that the robot voice is just how good, professional singing is supposed to sound. Not only does it completely dominate popular music, but it has finally removed the last obstacle to restricting pop stardom to pretty people for whom talent is completely unnecessary. There isn’t a commercial break for Nickelodeon that isn’t filled with “awwww-awwww-awwwww” autotuned sounds coming from the star of one or the other of their “ordinary teen becomes overnight pop sensation!!!” shows.

  14. Dartpaw86
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Of course his mom’s a good cook, I mean if my mom made me Hashbrowns, Chili and Burritos in one meal I’d be happy too. ^_^ And 400 pounds.

  15. pugfuggly
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    ASM I’m no arachnologist, but are spider known for their sulking? When I see a spider sitting on my kitchen window, is he using those 8 eyes to gaze sullenly at all the other webs in the yard, feeling inadequate about the quality of mates he’s able to attract?

    A3G Is Evan on his way somewhere, or is deliberately facing the wall just to be even more dickish to Margo? If this storyline ends in any other way than these two getting married, I’m going to be upset.

    FW The federal government’s plan to isolate Westview and its toxic outlook from the rest of the nation started quietly, by eliminating mail service to the infected town.

    MT Could anything be more exciting than a high-stakes fishing tournament in a daily comic? Yes, pretty much anything.

    MW ‘Leaves a text message’? Dawn, the point of texting is to send a message, not to type one out and then leave your own phone on a park bench for the recipient to find.

  16. Powers
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    To be fair to Curtis’ dad, while Auto-Tune was used as early as 1998, that didn’t become public knowledge until much later. In fact, according to Wikipedia, the producers of “Believe” even lied about the source of the effect.

    “Auto-Tune” didn’t become a household name until T-Pain.

  17. Allyson
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Zits: No, no, Josh, et al., you’re missing the point. The cartoon is called “Zits”! Mom is clearly British, and is making merciless fun of her son’s ruined complexion, while simultaneously providing him with a greasy, pore-clogging diet designed to make sure that it remains ruined. The Freudian levels of this strip are mind-blowing.

  18. nescio
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Zits: I’m guessing the comic has been syndicated to the UK and this is just exposition to explain the title.

  19. annieLurk
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#9):
    I love your corgi pics! My favorite corgi moment of all time was her majesty’s actual corgies sending the “queen” and 007 off to the Olympic opening ceremonies – priceless.

  20. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann – I totally agree, Bernice. I totally agree.

    JP – I’m starting to wonder if the whole thing — the out of business lodge, the marijuana operation, the fish — wasn’t a huge plot orchestrated by Peaches to take over Avery’s business. If so, then well played.

    MT – Mark sure is happy about going fishing with his possibly-homicidal abductor! Of course, that’s because he gets to go fishing.

    Curtis – I’ve been annoyed by autotune for much longer than my daughter’s been alive. She’s almost Curtis’ age.

  21. AhClem
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    FW – Let’s see — I’ve already covered cancer, death, despair, dead-end relationships, cancer, dismemberment, vile pizza and cancer. What other personal disasters can I … wait. Layoffs! YES!!

  22. pugfuggly
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Allyson (#17): @nescio (#18):

    Synchronicity!

    So what do they call zits in Britain? (and does that sound like the beginning of a Quentin Tarantino bit?)

  23. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    JP: I love how someone on the Seattle PI comics page said “go for it, Rex!” Ummm, these strips aren’t exactly mix-n-match, are they?

  24. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    3G – Oh, Margo, haven’t you figured it out about Evan yet? Couldn’t you see the danger signals? The suit, the tie, the hair, the nondescript face, the absence of a discernible personality, or the fact he never wears pants? Quit trying to quilt him, Margo!

    Smirky – The heartbreak of cancerlation.

  25. T. Chicana
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Oh, Dawn. Ohhhh Dawnnnnn. That text is going to make things a million times worse than they already are!

  26. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#21):

    What other personal disasters can I … wait. Layoffs! YES!!

    Layoffs? Layoffs…? Don’t be talking about layoffs. Layoffs?!

  27. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Dick – Never mind the Penguin. I just wanted to point out the sinister flag hanging in Union Station. It’s black and white and red all over!

    Nancy – Aunt Fritzi is playing a lot of 1960s stuff? Either she’s getting in the mood for a spate of lachrymose funerary poems as her icons croak off, or she’s got the TV on while her PBS station has a fundraiser.

  28. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @IagoPogo (#y161): Sadly, I keep having days when I need to do other stuff as well. Really need to study for quiz tomorrow. So many art -isms to memorize.

  29. Horace Broon
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I sat in my stupid apartment waiting for you to call … no, wait, I mean my stupid roommates sat in the apartment waiting to take a message.”

    H&J: Someone in the Herb&Jamalverse has figurered out how to use non-specificity … for evil!

    JP: “I figured as much! Last time he went trout fishing he wouldn’t leave until he’d convinced a heroin baron to turn his poppy field into a wind farm!”

    MT: “I’ll happily risk my life for the opportunity to go fishing with someone who isn’t Rusty!”

    SFx: The reason Slylock looks perplexed isn’t because he’s wondering about the question; he’s already solved that. He’s wondering why there’s ice on the outside of the refrigerator door, and if it’s anything to do with the massive cartoon keyhole someone drilled into it.

  30. Horace Broon
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#22):

    Just “spots”, AFAIK, although we’re familar with “zits” from American TV shows, and for all I know it’s caught on among people younger than me.

  31. Greg
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Zits: Nothing adds zest to one’s bowl of chili than two middle-aged people practically sitting on top of one and staring at one’s every gross mouthful. BELCH

  32. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    I hope everybody noticed that I COMPLETELY ignored Lynn bandying my ass about yesterday.
    I have some dignity after all. And I normally charge a fee for having my ass bandied.

    That said, I have a question, off topic, sorry, which I’d like to crowd-source here.

    Decades ago, I read a Science Fiction story, probably in a magazine, not a paperback. It was about a guy, a polymath, who defeats an invasion by Bug-eyed Monsters from Outer Space. He became a polymath because a deceased wealthy relative of his believed strongly in the value of Education, and was, as a self-made man himself, deeply opposed to the concept of Inherited Wealth. The DWR had set up a trust fund so our hero would have a generous income so long as he was in college. As soon as he graduated, under the terms of the TF, the money would go to charity, and our hero would be left on his own, without a dime.

    Our hero became a permanent student as a result. He would study in one major until he was just a credit or two away from graduating, and then switch to a completely different major. As soon as he came close to graduating in THAT major, he would switch to another, all the while living opulently on his TF income.

    This went on for a long time, our hero collecting almost-baccalaureates in dozens of fields. As the story begins, Earth is threatened by a possible invasion by Bug-Eyed M. from O.S..
    The Government looks in its database, and finds that our hero is the only person on the planet with the diverse skill set needed to defeat or deter the B-EMfOS, and offers him the job. He refuses, happy in his current status. The govt. then gets the university to grant him an honorary doctorate, thereby causing his trust fund income to cease, and, since he had no prospect of getting a job without a bachelor’s, forcing him to accept the job of defeating the aliens.

    Does anyone know this story? I’m nearly positive it wasn’t one of the Big Three (Heinlein, Asimov, Clarke). It sounds kind of like Zelazny, but I don’t think it was.

    Help, please.

  33. Ned Ryerson
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Zits: Walt farted first!

  34. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Quit trying to guilt me, Margo!” Evan’s reaction is certainly understandable – it is clear from the color of his suit, tie, and hair that Evan has had more than enough gilt applied to him already.

    MW: “This is not about your arm! I really like your arm! It’s the one that’s missing that freaks me out!”

    FW: And happy holidays from Tom Batiuk to all his fans worldwide! Readers of this strip from a couple of years ago will recall that Funky had his Dad committed to the Bedside Manor rest home in the week leading up to Father’s Day. This year on December 24 Crazy Harry will first hang the stockings from the mantle, and then himself.

  35. TheDiva
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Doesn’t Curtis usually listen to “that rap junk”? Do rappers use Auto-Tune? Is rapping “on-pitch” that important?

    Zits: Try hitting it with green beans, then.

  36. Digger
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    It appears Curtis gets annoyed when the obvious is pointed out to him. Let’s see how he reacts to this one: “Hey, Curtis, your stupid hat hangs off the back of your head in a manner which defies the laws of physics!”

    Zits: I have doubts about whether teenagers actually use the phrase “hit the spot.” Still, we should be grateful that this strip didn’t go the way of other comics recently and invoke the phrase “we humans.”

  37. Anders Gabrielsson
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Zits: Jeremy’s mom just wishes Walt would hit her spot every now and then.

  38. sporknpork
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    What’s with Jeremy’s parents suspiciously hovering around him, watching his every move while he eats? Do they want to make sure he consumes all the poison?

  39. Downpuppy
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#32): It was Doorways in the Sand by Zelazny. The school was based on Case Western Reserve, or as we called it, ScrewU.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doorways_in_the_Sand

  40. TheDiva
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    A3G: What sort of dread powers does Evan have to reduce Margo to this state?

    FW: Another day in Funkytown–Crazy Harry has no job and Funky has no life.

    Luann: Bernice speaks for all of us.

    MW: Dawn has the patience to type out “misunderstood,” but cannot spare two extra letters to properly spell “anyone.”

    Phantom: “You shot my butt! What the Hell, you shot me in the butt!” ~from the MST3K episode Final Sacrifice

    Pibgorn: Usually you have to go to Greg Evans for this kind of uncomfortable double standard.

  41. annieLurk
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Josh, you managed to pick the 3 comics with the comics featuring the worst artwork ever. Well, Curtis is at least somewhat realistically drawn except for his goofy hat.

    I am old enough to remember the good old days when A3G was so lovingly drawn. Speaking of A3G, I do not get the current story line. Weeks go by from one day to another. How/why/when has Evan gone from kissing Margo to her calling him “baby” and “darling” to his brushing her off?

    A3G and MW must have exchanged time warps. A3G has leaped weeks from day to day, whereas MW plods along with the pie eating and platitudes for weeks (one afternoon in the maryverse).

    And, what the heck happened happened in South Dakota?

  42. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#39): That has to be it. Thanks! I don’t remember it being so complicated though, but the perpetual student bit is conclusive.

  43. Stroker Ace
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Zzzzits – Thin walls in the Duncan house. Jeremy is mocking his parent’s post-coital banter.

  44. Illustrator Steve
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    MT – Make sure you take notes during your upcoming fishing trip with your kidnapper, Mark. Especially noting the methods he plans on using to try and do you in with. Some day those notes may serve as an incentive for you to actually look forward to taking Rusty fishing!

  45. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#39): @Nehemiah Scudder (#42): I knew somebody would come up with it. It was a book, neh?

  46. Pozzo
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Yeah, comics artists — pick a new fight. Have you noticed, for instance, that torn jeans are more expensive than new ones? There’s ample material for comedy in that vein, I tell ya!

    Also, I’m still trying to figure out when “Vocoder” became “auto-tune.” Any thoughts on this?

  47. Marc
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    A3G- “Evan, what’s come over you? You’re acting positively dastardly right now and none of your sentences are making sense!”
    “NO! He’s probably outside.”

    Mark Trail- After tacking on Bill Ellis and island version of Doc to the list of people he would rather go fishing with than Rusty, Mark is now about to bestow that illustrious distinction upon Otto the kidnapper and compulsive gambler.

    Mary Worth- Maybe it’s because I’m someone who spells out every single word and uses puntuation in their text messages, but reading Dawn’s pathetic attempt at texting is making my head hurt.

    Luann- Yes Luann, you’re together. If by together, you mean on opposite sides of the world with no chance of ever meeting up in person again, then sure you’re together. Whatever floats your boat.

    Funky- Batiuk is about to shove another serious topic down the throats of us hidebound literalists. UNEMPLOYMENT!!!!! Of course the layoff couldn’t happen to special snowflake Les Moore. No, he still needs to be employed despite being horrible at his job and never being there half the time, so he can stand around and make shitty puns and act smug that he still has a job.

    Family Cirucs- It doesn’t really work like that; but if you sold Jeffy, I’m sure you could at least make a dent into the cost of that castle dealie.

  48. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Not to be an insufferable geek about music technology, but… Cher’s single “Believe” was actually done with a ring modulator and not with auto-tune. Ring modulation also changes the tuning and produces artifacts, but it’s a different process. Dalek voices are also made by ring modulation.

    For more information about ring modulation, check the internet!

  49. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#46): Vocoder and auto-tune are actually two different things. The first is electronic, and the second (IIRC) is a digital post-signal processor.

    The vocoder has a really fun history, if you’re bored.

  50. Illustrator Steve
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MT – Pop has been working on making that same salad for about one week now. I’m not sure just how he keeps the lettuce looking so fresh and green but I do have one question…WHERE did he get that can of Budwiser that’s sitting on the table? Come to think of it, they never DID check to see what Mark keeps inside that tackle box of his. Now, word has spread around the little village that Mark has been charging the poor villagers $8.00 a can for his warm beer and Otto wants a cut of the action!

  51. bbofun
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    JP- PEACHES! PEACHES! PEACHES! PEACHES!

    (ahem) I’m happy to see Peaches is back- in a new uniform. and hair color. I assume this is when we’ll find out what undeserved reward Sam will get. I’m betting “Producer” credit and a percentage of the gross.

    (whispers) peaches. peaches. peaches. peaches.

    RMMD- The caption has an odd definition of “obscenities”. (Okay, yesterday there was a “!@#$%” but that’s still just one.) (And thanks to Woody Wilson for just using the first 5 symbols across the keyboard.)

    S4th- Are they going to put “Mr. Magoo’s Xmas Carol” on repeat for the whole 5 hours? Because that might not be a recipe for holiday cheer.

    MW- Jim texts back- NO RELATIONSHIP W/ANY1 “RT” NOW? I KNEW IT WAS ABOUT MY ARM! U WLD LOVE ME IF I HAD MY LT ARM AND NOT MY RT! BTCH!

    PBS- I saw this one coming and I still couldn’t stop reading.

  52. Ned Ryerson
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    According to Curtis, “Auto-Tune” is a device. How big is this device? Does it fit in your pocket? Can I go to Sears and buy one of those “Auto-Tunes”?

    Digression: Does anybody recall a stage production of “The Regard of Flight” that aired on PBS back in the early 80s, starring Bill Irwin?
    “Use the Device!”
    “No…it’s cheap.”

  53. anon
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Momma: Hey, now! I’m going to defend Momma here. She knows full well what ‘awesome’ means every time Francis blurts it out, over and over and over. Momma is sick of hearing everything being called ‘awesome’. Daily life, she knows, from her long long life, is pretty mundane and chipper Francis calling the same old things ‘awesome’ grates on her nerves. Even worse, EVERYTHING is awesome!

    Oh, it must be nice to be young, to walk around aglow and tingling with the joy of living, all the world a playground, the sun shining in the sky just for you, the picture on the wall a marvel, the soup bursting with flavor, a much-anticipated game coming up, and a ….well, awesome….girlfriend to share it all with.

    And THAT is what Momma means in the last panel.

    The sun shines, so! The picture is a cheap print from AC Moore. The soup came out of a can. A game on TV is just a game on TV. The girlfriend? One of several who start out awesome, reveal their lack of same, and move on ….there will be others.

    That is what Momma means. Must be NICE to be so happy. Maybe Francis is high.

  54. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#45): I’m pretty sure I read it in Astounding. Most SF back then was serialized in magazines before being published in paperback.

    // When I was growing up in the ’60s, my family had two magazine subscriptions. One was for Reader’s Digest, which my grandfather provided as a yearly gift. The other was for Fantasy and Science Fiction, which my mother got because she was really cool. She’d occasionally pick up Astounding, or Analog from the drugstore, too.

    A well rounded education, I think.

  55. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: The only reasonable conclusion to be drawn here is that Evan’s arms have mysteriously fallen off over the weekend. Any minute now, he’s going to bust out all “IT’S BECAUSE OF MY ARMS, ISN’T IT??!!” And Margo’s will be all, “No, darling, no no no!!! How could you say such a thing? Well, but, actually, yes. Throw those ridiculous things away. I have at least one Vietnamese strap-on here in my purse. You’ll never know the difference, but I sure will.”

    Archie: Jughead’s cadging for outdated computer supplies from the local Goodwill surely wins the Saddest Strip of the Day award.

    Judge Parker: I am secretly fearful that literally tits-and-ass is the last we’ll see of Peaches. As long as nobody says “Good morning,” there is still hope, though.

    Luann: The tragic effects of huffing hormones are on display this morning.

    Mary Worth: THIS IS NOT ABOUT UR ARM. IT IZ ABOUT UR OVERUZE OF AUTOTUNING TO MAKE UP 4 UR LACK OF VOCAL RANGE AND LACK OF MELODIC INSITE. PLZ PLZ PLZ BELIEBER ME.

    Pibgorn: There’s such a thing as “slutty” in the McEldowney-verse? How would you know such a thing, if you saw it?

  56. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Poor “Crazy” Harry — when your only character trait is “wacky”, this is what your life looks like 40 years on.

  57. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#55):

    ALSO PLZ DIAL BACK THE MELISMA

  58. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#54): I read every copy of Analog our branch library contained when was 13. That was a youth well-wasted.

  59. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MT: I love the way pop’s warning “but your life” totally bounces off of Mark’s thick skull.
    “Otto wants to shoot you. With his gun. In the head. So that you die.”
    “What do you mean, old man? Stop talking in riddles.”

    MW: After watching Dawn type TXT-SP abbrevs to creepy obsessive Jim, I’m left wondering how much of my soul just died.

    FW: So when and where is Harry going to have his obligatory shooting rampage?

    Archie: The AJGLU3000 makes a Hitchcockian cameo as the object of Jughead’s nerd-lust.

    BC: This little community may be in trouble if its chief biologist considers a pasteboard cutout to be “an innocent animal.”

    JP: The coloring monkeys show a taste for visual puns, using a peach shade for Peaches’ outfit. And peaches’ can, of course.

    HtH: The incensed castle owner says, “What do you mean what’s in my wallet? What business is it of yours?”

    DT: The aptly-named Belle is quite lovely. I hope she knows how to take cover during a police shootout.

    DtM: A rare look at Dennis’ cloven hooves. At what point did Alice Mitchell have an affair with a satyr?

    Luann: Bernice’s parents won’t be happy about her flushing her smartphone down the toilet, but when she explains the circumstances I think they’ll understand.

    SSmith: Snuffy blithely admits his toothlessness. Lukey’s still in denial after all these years.

    H&J: Yeah, well, Sid’s reputation in punk rock was pretty spotty. At least he’s lasted longer in auto repair.

    A3G: Evan is sassing his boss and yet his head is still attached to his shoulders. Where are they keeping the real Margo?

  60. Illustrator Steve
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MT – This whole tournament thing SOUNDS FISHY TO ME, but it looks like Mark is GOING TO TAKE THE BAIT! He may be getting involved in this thing WAY OVER HIS HEAD and end up finding himself in HOT WATER! But, as always, Mark says HE WILL GO WITH THE FLOW since he figures this is a SINK OR SWIM situation!

  61. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#9): Hee. I could have used a little bulldog-bedtime story last night–either to make me sleep or to get my pup to sleep.

  62. Hibbleton
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Andy talks and Pop pisses in the cereal bowl while Mark blathers inanely. Exactly how did that brain-planet from Solaris get a syndicated comic strip?

  63. Illustrator Steve
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#54): “She’d occasionally pick up Astounding, or Anolog from the drugstore too.”

    Would that have been from VonEssen’s Drugstore, Broward Drugs, Wilton Manors drugs, Oakland Park Drugs or from Publix?

  64. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    What is this “hit the spot”, Jeremy? Are you talking in some kind of ecstasy-crazed teenage sex club argot?

  65. Dartpaw86
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Oooh according to the poster in the corner, he apparently likes listening to MC Gandhi

  66. Dale
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    FAMILY CIRCUS

    When I was whatever the kid’s age is, I thought that money just came with being a grown-up.
    The problem now is, of course, that “adults” think that’s how credit cards work.

  67. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    FW The federal government’s plan to isolate Westview and its toxic outlook from the rest of the nation started quietly, by eliminating mail service to the infected town.

    Of course the real important part is eliminating mail from Westview. I assume they’ll be sending in workmen to fill all the town’s mailboxes with concrete.

  68. Dale
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    LUANN

    Good Clock: AM shows up so you don’t have to figure out whether some little dot is on or off.
    Bad Clock: Some hours have more than one digit.

    PBS

    Note to Pastis – Don’t let your law license lapse.

  69. Mibbitmaker
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Luann: And now, another episode of…

    BERNICE HALPER, AUDIENCE SURROGATE

    (when looking up the last name for this comment, I got the unsettling idea that she was the secret love child of TV characters Millie Helper and Jim Halpert)
    (no, I’m not the love child of Ted Forth and Abed Nadir — it’s impossible — but thanks for asking)

  70. Little A.
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Again, I got no response to this question. Not even from Josh or Uncle Lumpy. So here it is AGAIN for the last time this year, probably:

    A3G: This is has been said before here on the site many times (that’s redundant): I can’t follow what is going on, I can tell the three women apart most of the time, but the men all look alike and dress like car test dummies from about 1960. Maybe they are car test dummies from 1960. The plots are awful and stupid, the drawing stinks. Why do we torture ourselves by looking at this strip every day? Why hasn’t it been dropped by every newspaper that still carries it? How many papers still carry it? Why am I wasting part of my life by reading it and commenting?

    By the way a few years ago I asked a question which, to the best of my memory, nobody answered: how can we find out for each strip, how many newspapers actually carry it? Are these numbers available someplace?

  71. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#32): I will be happy to bandy your ass any time, Mr. Scudder.

  72. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    2012:
    Curtis: It’s an auto-tune, dad.
    Curtis’ Dad: These guys can’t really sing!

    1982:
    Curtis’ Dad: It’s “rap”, dad.
    Curtis’ Grandfather: These guys can’t really sing!

    1952:
    Curtis’ Grandfather: It’s rock & roll, dad.
    Curtis’ Great-Grandfather: These guys can’t really sing!

    1922:
    Curtis’ Great-Grandfather: It’s blues, dad.
    Curtis’ Great-Great-Grandfather: These guys need something to disguise the fact that they can’t really sing!

  73. Brent
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Awesome has been increasingly overused in the past decade. It’s fallen from “very good” to almost meaningless… when someone tells me I something is “awesome”, I now think, “Not complete dreck, but there’s nothing specifically good enough to mention about it either”.

  74. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Little A. (#70): Some people destroy their lives by meth addiction. We at this blog obsess over minutia in A3G. Which life would you choose?

  75. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Brent (#73): Yeah, maybe we should start with “epic” vs “brutal”.

  76. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): I thought Tommy James and the Shondells really sounded like that on “Crimson and Clover”.

  77. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    June Morgan RN:
    “Delores, there’s someone here that you should meet! She’s the wife of a guy who did CPR on some old lady at the beach. What’s that got to do with you? Well, she’s been sent to spy on us. Delores, meet Joan… er.. Jeane…. something.”

  78. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

  79. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Little A. (#70): Your question reminds me of a line from the film Stranger Than Paradise (I think). Protagonist meets a carnival sideshow worker at the Atlantic City boardwalk on the offseason, asks him what he does for a living. “In the summer? Bite the heads off rats!” “And in the winter?” “Same!”

  80. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#64): In college, there was a snack bar in a dorm called “The Spot”. The Spot was in the basement of Goodyear Hall, hence the term “The G Spot. When we wanted to go, we’d “hit The G Spot.” I almost wish I was making this up.

  81. Canuckamuck
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    C&M: Curtis grew up and moved out. Dad wondered why he never called or visited.

  82. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#77):

    He performed CPR at least an hour ago. By now, Delores has seen the video on youtube. She has seen the video where PSY is dancing Gangnam Style while Rex performs CPR. She has seen the Taiwanese animation of Rex performing CPR. She has seen the video of Obama awarding Rex the Congressional Medal of Honor. This is the biggest story since that judge fell off a roof!!!!!

    Everyone is going to be at the big party tonight. Who cares about desperate, out-of-work strippers trying to raise money – the guy who did CPR in that Gangnam-style video is going to be there, acting like a dick and handing out smelling salts!!

  83. Calico
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8):
    Don’t for get the ambience gating tricks of the 80′s, used primarily for drums sounds, perfected by Hugh Padgham and Phil Collins, also used on a J. Geils LP from that era and Frida’s “There’s Somthing Going On”, produced by PC.
    (Other examples – Gabriel’s creepy “Intruder” and the overplayed “In the air Tonight.”

  84. Calico
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    *forget* argh

  85. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Little A. (#70):

    … how can we find out for each strip, how many newspapers actually carry it? Are these numbers available someplace?

    I think the syndicates keep those numbers pretty close to the chest unless they’re bragging points (pre-recap Foob, Family Circus).

    As for A3G, not many of the soapers or adventure strips weathered the 1970′s transition from large-format B&W using oil-based inks to bitsy colorized cartoons on unbleached newsprint using washed-out water-based inks. RMMD, The Phantom, and (God help me) Spider-Man are the best of the lot, with a hat tip to new Dick Tracy. But we aren’t going to see the likes of Rip Kirby, Mike Roper with Steve Nomad, or even Winnie Winkle again, more’s the pity.

  86. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Momma: Answer: Yes, my children’s lives are full of awe and wonder and all that childhood goodness stuff. Is that the important question that you broke the 4th wall to ask, or are you just bored in there?

  87. Calico
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#49):
    Ah yes, vocoder, also used on ITAT!

  88. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#63): Oh, what was the name? Was it a Broward Drugs? On 26th Street, just east of Old Dixie Highway and the railroad tracks, by Five Points in Wilton Manors. (Maybe it was Wilton Drugs.) I used to buy Mad Magazines there. There was a closer drug store, just down the street from us on NE 18th by Federal Hwy. The druggest there was really cool. He’d catch roaches and spiders in his storeroom, and seal them in plastic cubes, and give them away to kids. You could put one of these plastic cubes on a glass table, and shove it at some unwary person, and they would ALWAYS freak out. He didn’t have an extensive newsstand, though, so I’m pretty sure it was the one on 26th.

  89. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): Trivia: The motorcycle sound on Meatloaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” wasn’t a real motorcycle, it was done by Todd Rungren completely on his guitar – to disguise the fact that these guys can’t really ride a motorcycle!

  90. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

  91. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#82): The video may have gone viral, but fortunately, I’ve been immunized against that strain.

  92. Steve
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: In Panel 2 Dawn appears to be looking at me, as if her text message is saying that she doesn’t want to date me. I don’t know whether to be happy or extremely happy.

  93. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#82): The question stands before us, is the CPR video more popular than Gil Thorp catching a foul ball in his hat after it beaned him?

  94. I speak Jive
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#93): Nothing is as popular as Queen Bee with the picture frame around her neck.

  95. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): There was a hit 3-Dog-Night song recorded in an empty toilet bowl. They liked the acustics. I forget which hit, but every time I see a toilet sans water, I have an urge to stick my face in and sing something.

  96. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#94):

    “Hey Boy”, featuring Luann and Quill, has more total hits than Justin Bieber. The solution? HIT JUSTIN BIEBER!

    @hogenmogen (#95):

    While we are at it, the booming “drum” sound in the background of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” was created by banging inside an empty elevator shaft.

  97. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95): Was it “What’s it all about, RALPH-ee??”

  98. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#78): You’re just jealous because someone with an internet ordination gets more ass bandying than you do!

    // We men of the cloth should be above such pettiness re heavy petting!

  99. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#Y180): BWAHAHA! Except now I will remember your words every single time I see that thing, eww.

  100. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#90): *Dave* used to get me a room…*Sigh.*

  101. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#98): Who – or what – my ass bandies about is between me, my God, my wife, her doctor, and the veterinarian, thank you very much.

  102. gleeb
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Doorways in the Sand, by Zelazny. Remember, peanut butter is rich in protein.

  103. gleeb
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Why do I always assume a reply is going to include a link to what I’m replying to?

  104. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    CURTIS — Auto-tune, eh? Interesting. Thank you once again, CC, for keeping me in extremely tenuous contact with some of the technological marvels of today, or apparently in this case, the day before the day before yesterday.

  105. Austria
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Arch: “Already.” Wow, you can tell this one’s a reprint.

    FW: Whoa boy, here we go. Another week-long diatribe about the evils of TECHNOLOGY, courtesy of Funky.

    MW: Boy, this entire DAY is just filled with…NOBODY ACTUALLY TEXTS LIKE THIS. Except for maybe 8-year-olds that still think it’s cool.

    PBS: Would anyone believe me if I said I was just thinking about the last PBS “sari” strip over the weekend?

  106. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#96):

    The phaser sounds in Star Wars came from somebody banging on an electric transmission tower guyline with a crowbar. The old sound guys from radio days had a million tricks like that — who can forget the coconut clop, clop of a bandied ass?

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#100): Hearken to this, Pastordan! Lynn is a woman of both perspicuity and perspicacity. She would never bandy your ass! Abandon those feckless dreams!

    // Alas, whilst I am deeply honored, Lynn, my ass is pledged to another!

  108. Marc
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Funky- Come Friday, Crazy Harry is going to……….wait for it……….. GO POSTAL.

    Well, I’m going to go sit in the corner and hang my head in shame for a while now.

  109. Inkwell
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, as a teenager, I often find myself really annoyed with Zits. If it’s not about Jeremy and his friends acting like outdated stereotypes at the expense of any logic, then it’s about the parents talking behind their loser son’s back, like today, trying to rationalize normal behaviors. If Jeremy compliments her, it’s just because he’s a teenager. If Jeremy’s sullen, it’s because he’s a teenager.

    …OK, when I started typing, I figured Zits was a minor irritant that I could say a couple sentences about. I think this is starting to reflect deeper set issues.

  110. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#100): Nah, Dave was strictly an “out in the bushes” kind of guy.

  111. Jamus The Bartender
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95): The song was called “Liar” if i’m not mistaken, and I might be. No idea how I remember that, but I do.

  112. Here come the Judge
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Peaches is back! And, as JP artist Michael Manley never fails to remind us, she’s also GOT back…

  113. Baka Gaijin
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Ha ha! Pluggers suffocating from worsening COPD is funny.

    Peter Parker is man-crushing hard on Kraven the Hunter. When Kraven doesn’t requite Petey’s love, Mr. Parker will end up on his couch watching Lifetime’s “Why don’t he love me” marathon and downing Ben & Jerry’s by the gallon.

  114. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107): I’m glad you are honored, sir. I really do respect you and my lascivious remarks am only jests, because in real life I am so much the anti-vixen that I make Luann look like Karrine Stephans. Please assure Mrs. S. that I am virginal and innocent IRL.

  115. La Cieca
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#7): “Not really. At this age, he’s all pot.”

  116. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107): However, if your “ass pledged to another” situation should ever change –

    //I always went for the nerdy geeks. That’s why I love it here. I’m like a kid in a candy shop.

  117. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#109): Dear self-identified young person, I am sorry for introducing you to adult themes via my correspondence with Mr. Scudder.

  118. Inkwell
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#117): Oooh…. Tell me more about these “adult themes”!

  119. HAnzMFG
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Of all the teenage social critiques presented by Josh, the one in Curtis has to be the most relevant, since anything autotune is an obnoxious travesty that’s become way too popular. Momma’s is bizarre, since her son is hyperactively pointing out everything that is awesome, sometimes in hilariously vague ways, like, “the day is awesome.”

  120. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#110): New t-shirt suggestion for the Curmudgeon Shoppe: DAWN’S GUYS DO IT IN THE BUSHES. ONE-HANDED.

    Or something like that.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#114): Well, that’s all right then. Just don’t go lusting after Pastordan, on the rebound, as it were. He’s really not suitable for a gentlewoman of taste and erudition. He’s an ass of an entirely different color.

    // And I mean that in a sincerely Pickwickian way.

  122. Cloudbuster
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#20): MT – Mark sure is happy about going fishing with his possibly-homicidal abductor! Of course, that’s because he gets to go fishing.

    You forgot the most important part: without Rusty!

  123. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#118): You’re not Chris Hanson, are you?

  124. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    I thought some ‘mudges might be interested in this discussion of how Charles Schultz handled race in the late 60s. As a bonus, it has a compare-and-contrast with a mind-bogglingly racist Dennis the Menace from 1970.

  125. Cloudbuster
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#74): Wow, you’ve guilted me into deleting my comics bookmarks and seeking out a meth dealer.

  126. Snarkotix Addict
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    If Crankshaft commits the sin of Onan, shouldn’t he be struck down?

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#125): Hey, check and see if you can get us a group discount.

  128. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#126): *SNURK!!!*

    be glad that I wasn’t drinking anything, or you would owe me a new monitor for that one.

    +1 internets to you, good sir and/or madam.

  129. Cloudbuster
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): I’m … I’m having second thoughts. I can delete these bookmarks anytime I want to!

  130. Car Test Dummies Club, Sixties Division
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Little A. (#70): We can’t stop reading it either. We’ve tried.

  131. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#54): My father always had subscriptions to adventure magazines like “True” and “Argosy.” Although I enjoyed reading those, I also devoured my mother’s magazines (“True Story,” “Photoplay” and “Redbook” all come to mind).

    And on really cold December nights, we used to burn Yule “Analogs” in our fireplace. (What, you thought “Fahrenheit 451″ was strictly for reading?)

  132. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I’m sorry Jim but your incestuous feelings for your dead sister are getting in the way of my incestuous feelings for my living father.”

  133. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    MT-Mark’s gone fishing with his editor, surrogate father figure Pop, and now he is going to go fishing with Otto. Mark has gone fishing with more guys during this story than he ever will with Rusty.

    MT 2-Didn’t Fredo say the same thing when Michael asked him to go fishing?

  134. ZittyFiction
    November 26th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#22): “Well, what DO they call a zit in England?” “A ‘pus roy-al.” (Eww. Gross… even for Q.T.)

  135. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#109): I find it annoying that Mom Zits, after endless strips of complaining that her son is ungrateful and/or doesn’t talk to her and/or doesn’t appreciate her cooking, is now still feeling blah because she apparently likes to feel blah. I’d like to see a strip about people in their teens that has the same levels of creativity and intelligence and good humor as CUL DE SAC. Fat chance. *sob*

  136. Girl Reporter
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#21):

    FW – Let’s see — I’ve already covered cancer, death, despair, dead-end relationships, cancer, dismemberment, vile pizza and cancer. What other personal disasters can I … wait. Layoffs! YES!!

    Wouldn’t they be the Laydowns?

  137. One Armed Jim
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    thanks fr the txt btch it is hrd to txt one handed thnks fer pointing out another flaw fck u

  138. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#85): Prince Valiant has kept up the visual end too. Given its storybook-like format, it kind of has to. It’s not the only syndicated strip drawn by real artists, but Yeates and Gianni before him distinguish themselves by actually working to capacity.

  139. parcheesi
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    I doubt that the cast of Curtis have any familiarity with the musical catalogue of Cher; Curtis would have discovered auto-tune around 2007 via T-Pain, except not really since he would have been something like 6 years old back then, so actually this joke works. Even better, this would have been cutting-edge around 2009 when those auto-tune rap feuds were happening.

  140. CanuckDownSouth
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#135): My annoyance with Zits is that it used to show some of that promise! I can’t speak for its teen-accuracy, but back in the endlessly-on-the-cellphone era, with Phoebe’s GPA-hunt, the guy with the coffee-as-backpack, RichnAmy, the parents having an often-reasonable POV, and arcs like the Gingivitis concert, it was *much* better than this endless gripe-fest.

  141. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#138):

    Absolutely true, but only when the newspapers give them enough space for the art to show — the compressed “letterbox” version of PV in some papers (and most online sources) doesn’t do their work justice.

  142. Brent
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#119):

    Personally, I find that what’s bizarre about Momma’s social commentary is that I know people that aren’t too far off from that… it’s like they have some sort of “awesome” Tourette’s tic. “Awesome” is the only word they seem to know for describing anything, and everything that’s not horrible they describe as “awesome”.

  143. Girl Reporter
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#140): I loved the Gingivitis concert arc! Thanks for that memory.

  144. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @parcheesi (#139):

    I’m on a Boat would send One-Armed Jim over the edge, and not just from the auto-tune.

  145. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#32): Thanks to @Downpuppy (#39) for identifying that! As soon as I read your description of the hero, I immediately thought, “Gee – wasn’t the hero of Roger Zelazny’s A Rose for Ecclesiastes picked to translate the sacred Martian texts because he was so widely read? I then remembered that in fact Gallinger really wasn’t particularly a polymath, but I had personally always somehow considered him to be, because I always felt that he was based in part on Thomas Young, who was pretty much the epitome of polymaths and who was one of the pioneers in deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphics. Mind you, there’s absolutely no reason at all to think that the fictional Gallinger in any way whatsoever resembles the real-life Young, but I always have thought that, just because.

    Anyway, the real reason for this post is that the story of the perpetual student was an important story arc in the early days of Apartment 3-G! One of the strip’s male characters back in the 1960s (when they didn’t all look alike, of course) was receiving a large grant from a rich uncle so long as he was in college (which I believe is how he came to be in the strip, through knowing Professor Papagoras), and of course he kept gaming the system by switching majors just short of graduation so that he had to stay on for another semester. It turns out that he was using the money not to support a playboy lifestyle but to pay the expenses of a female friend who was suffering from mental illness and was being treated in a private hospital. When Lu Ann found out that the student was staying in school for this noble purpose and that the girl whose medical expenses he was paying was in fact just a friend and not a romantic interest, she fell in love with the guy. What I’m trying to remember is: was this perpetual student / good Samaritan in fact Lu Ann’s future husband (who was killed when his plane was shot down in Vietnam), or was this just a boyfriend before she met Mr. Powers? I sort of think this was in fact her true love, and they got married (resulting in Lu Ann’s moving out and new roommate’s moving in, of course). Does anyone know for sure?

  146. tallyHO
    November 26th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Powers (#16):

    Are you sure it wasn’t Young Numb MC T-Bone who an early stake in popularizing Auto-Tuning when he used it to transform his Rap Diddlies into love songs about the living large?

    // Since I just made up that entire premise, allow me to spite it by saying the rapper’s song “Death by Marmaduke” became even more bone chilling when Marmaduke took him up on the offer.

    R.I.P Young Numb MC T-Bone

    We still pour out forty-ouncers of salt and pepper in your memory!

    //I’ll admit, I think Comic Strip Character, Curtis’ Dad makes a good quip about Auto-Tuning. Back in my day, we used to do that to cars!

  147. Cyranetta
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Based on how she handles silverware, and the fact that the phone looks like it’s about to slip to the ground in panel 2, maybe Dawn has two prosthetics for hands.

  148. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#145):

    Re: 1960′s A3G — good luck digging through the A3G archives: aside from scanned microfilms of old newspapers, there’s no real database that goes back that far. I do remember manchild Newton, a children’s author who had a stuffed hippo (Wilbur?) as his protégé making several appearances.

    When Margofactrix Margaret Shulock took over the strip she asked King Features for background materials, but didn’t get much. So she Googled “Apartment 3-G” and wound up — here.

  149. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#146): I teach a couple of sections of freshman sociology each semester, just for the fun of it and also to keep a roof over my head. We all remember pathetic teachers who try to be ‘hip’ and ‘with it’. I wasn’t hip or with it when I was actually young; having much older parents and siblings, I was more likely to hear The Mills Brothers at my house than Janis Joplin. I had fun the other day, though, because my arms are black and blue from trying to rescue my furniture from the floodwaters. Domestic violence was one of the topics for that class, and I pointed out my bruises, saying, “I look like I was out on a date with Chris Brown.” The students’ reaction was hilarious! First, dead silence. Then, looking at one another in disbelief. Then, “oh, no, she DIIII-UUUUHN!” and some guilty laughing.

    //yes I know they were laughing at me. At this point, I’m used to it.

  150. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#88): Gosh, I guess that should be “druggist” rather than “druggest”. Not that “druggest” shouldn’t be a perfectly good word, being the superlative of the adjective “druggy” and the comparative “druggier”. But that isn’t what I meant. I meant “pharmacist” or “apothocary”. But doesn’t “druggist” sound like someone who is the follower of a political or philosophical movement called “druggism”?

  151. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#145): Whoa! Do you think Zelazny picked up the idea of the perpetual student from A3G? No bad on him, of course, for that, (why not?) but it’s a strange idea.

  152. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150):

    That’s the pharmaciest thing I ever heard of!

  153. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Momma – From what I can tell, “awesome” is one of the only words that her handlers have taught Britney Spears to use when judging on whatever TV kareoke contest she is working for. “You guys were awesome! You surprised me, and I didn’t expect that! It was awesome!” – over and over again.

    I love the “you surprised me, and I didn’t expect that” bit (quoted from a recap) as well. If she expected them to surprise her, and they didn’t, would she be surprised then? Would her surprise then negate her surprise at not being surprised? The answer may surprise you, which would be awesome!!

  154. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (Y#154): Great. If that’s his last name, it means he’s related to my in-laws’ family somehow, and is perhaps one of the innumerable cousins present at family reunions. That’s far too close a degree of separation for comfort!

  155. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Perpetual Students – I went to grad school with someone on their seventh attempt to make it through the preliminary exams. She would attend classes for a year, fail the prelims, and then look around for another major. And she started near the bottom of the food chain – no Physics – Engineering – Civil Engineering – Communications – Sociology descent, it was Liberal Arts all the way down.

    I remember a big stink when the A&S school announced that, after six years in a Ph.D. program, students would be required to submit an annual report discussing any progress toward completing their dissertation. This came from both sides – students desperate to avoid the real world for a few more years, and professors desperate to hold on to cheap labor for a few more years.

  156. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#155): Hey, I resemble that remark! (Where I teach, Sociology is in Liberal Arts. Yet it is a science. Just ask Auguste Compte.)

  157. Anonymous
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#153) – That line of thinking was used on Boardwalk Empire’s most recent episode. The madame of a whorehouse greeted the arrival of a psychopathic gangster by saying “What an unexpected surprise”, to which he responded, “Aren’t they all?” (Please excuse both the redundant descriptions and the possible poaraphrasing.)

  158. KreatureFeatures
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    FW: I feel bad now about last week, when I said that Beardy McPostal should stop moping over his comic books and get a job.

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#152): So a Communist, a Buddhist, and a druggist walk into a bar, and the bartender says:

    1. What is this, some kind of joke? (No, I guess not).
    2. I’ve got a great idea for a cartoon. Wanna hear it?
    3. Now I know how the Pilgrims felt!
    4. So. It has come to this.
    5. I think Otto truly wants to help the people.
    6. Seriously, guys. I’ll need to see some cash up front.
    7. You know, this isn’t a gay bar. In fact, it’s pretty depressing, gloomy, somniculous, and ghastly. In fact, I’m going to inflate my coccyx and lie down for a bit. Help yourselves.

  160. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Zits-But will Jeremy ever hit his mom’s spot? You all know what I mean.

    Curtis-”Back in my day we called it ‘lip synch’ we didn’t have any of this fancy technology and we were happy about it too.”

  161. tallyHO
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150): @Uncle Lumpy (#152):

    This is entirely speculation on my part but the druggiest part of a pharmacists’ job might be the pharma-siesta.

    //hahahaha…ow!…i just cracked myself up

  162. groddeck
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Anonymous #157 was me.

  163. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#159): And yet you constantly bandy your inflatable coccyx at us.

  164. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#163): Why, you are a.. a… a coccyx tease!

  165. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#164): NTTAWWT.

  166. tallyHO
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#149):

    Well, if you got a “no she di’ int” doesn’t that show that someone was acknowledging that you “went there”?

    I’ll admit, for some strange reason, even I know why your quip is funny. And, I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard a song from Chris Brown.

    As it goes, to remain hip in the face of younger generations: I guess teachers, instructors and professors all need to deal with that. You probably don’t want to be like your worst role-models, Professor Snooze Buttons, each and every one.

  167. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#166): In teaching, I try to strike a balance between Charles Kingsfield, Severus Snape, and Peewee Herman.

  168. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#121): I resemble that remark.

  169. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#167): I am very popular among the people. If students can be called people.

  170. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#168): The law, sir, is a ass. The clergy, well, that is, as Himself has said, a horse of a different collar.

  171. Chaze
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#111):
    “Liar” was written by Russ Ballard and originally recorded by Argent. Why do I know this? I was a huge fan of the Zombies, who begat Rod Argent, who formed Argent. You might remember “Hold Your Head Up.”

  172. AhClem
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#155):
    As a civil engineer, I’m intrigued by your degree hierarchy that puts civil engineering below all other forms of engineering. Looking back on my career, I would say that … hmmm, maybe you’re right!

  173. Jamus The Bartender
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): Very well, and happily, thank you sir. :)

  174. Calico
    November 26th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Allyson (#17):
    Well, I hope Mom-Connie feeds him Spotted Dick!

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#167): In teaching, I always modeled myself after Wackford Squeers, with a bit of Thomas Gradgrind, just to add that essential touch of levity essential to effective pedagogy.

    // I was the dickens of a good educator!

  176. Chaze
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    I think the joke within today’s 9CL is rather cute, and I find no fault with it. However, these two young people are constantly dressed in clothing direct from 1952. What up wit dat?

  177. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): Ah. And I was so not cool, I was listening to “Longfellow’s Serenade” on my transistor radio, and I liked “I Honestly Love You” enough to buy the single. I can laugh at myself now. (Also a great single by the great Dion).

  178. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#175): Dotheboys Hall. Would be taken quite a different way today, no?

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#165): It’s ok. People just get jealous. Understandably.

  180. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Brent (#73): There are some words in this world that their meanings have become deprecated beyond belief. When I was in high school, my AP English teacher banned the word “bad”, because — in his opinion — there are so many other words in the dictionary that better describe a situation than “bad”. I have tried to follow that teacher’s example for the last 25 years.

    “Awesome” — for me anyway — has become the new “bad” in my book. I now reserve that word only for use in church.

  181. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Momma-The only explanation for this is that he is on drugs. There is no way any one can live in “Momma” and find things awesome.

  182. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#178): Well, no… I dare not. But you must remember, we didn’t have inflatable coccyxes then. And, mumpsimus. A cordwangler could go decades without meeting a proper splodknobbler, and all that oompus-bumpus would be bogled before you could say, “Mortise and tenon!”

    Thermantidotes were thin, and rangy in those days, and smelled of lemon; and hardly a nadger to be found on the sunlit uplands, nor hoolies neither.

    // But we had each other, arrgh!, that we did! And the rannygazoos, all plump and fine, could not be beat.

    // But I digress.

  183. Liam
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Momma-”That sky is awesome. My hands are awesome.”

  184. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): And if Rod Argent had bothered to stick his head in an empty toilet bowl, he’d have yet another hit on his hands. And other, less savory things on his face.

  185. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    The beauty of the “Momma” joke is that it can be recycled every time the lingo changes. I bet this is a rehash of a 70′s strip in which “groovy” was used repeatedly, and Momma asked if the children of today are grooved. In the 80′s, we used “awesome”, so either this is a reprint or Mel Lazarus went through “bad”, “chill”, “ultimate” and “epic” before returning to the gold standard of “awesome”.

  186. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#182): You’re really sure you want me to stop pursuing you? Because really, at this point, you’re kind of asking for it. I’m just sayin’.

  187. Thibault
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: As one with a bit of audio chops, I’m bothered by the premise of the “joke” here. Auto-Tune was originally intended as an electronic band-aid for poorly trained singers. The response time of the effect would be set relatively slow, so that if the singer failed to hit the note exactly, or wavered while singing it, the box would subtly steer the note to the nearest chromatic 1/2 step. In the past few years, it’s use has changed to that of an actual effect where the response time is set to nothing, so if a singer sings a smooth glissando over 4 full chromatic notes, that smooth sweep is turned into 8 immediate steps as the singer’s note crosses over to the next 1/2 step. Sounds like a robot. Also sounds like crap!

    Since we know from history that Curtis likes shitty music (that “rap” junk!), anything that he would be listening to that would employ auto-tune would almost certainly be using it as an effect, not a band-aid and thus the “joke” makes no sense. But, it’s Curtis, so whatever…I’m over it now.
    [/rant]

    //Whatever it’s application, auto-tune is a crime against music and humanity, and I will be front-and-center with a torch and pitchfork on the day it is finally banished from the earth! Oops. Guess I ranted a bit more, huh?

  188. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    “My new chick is awesome”
    WTF?? Who talks like that?

  189. Uncle Lumpy
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Thibault (#187):

    So, this being the Internet, somewhere there’s an auto-tuned version of Tony Bennett singing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”, right? Because that would be awesome/horrifying.

  190. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    Margo: I waited by my phone all weekend! True, it was my cell phone, which I would have had on my anyway. But because of you, I set it to vibrate and stuffed it in my panties! You owe me some courtesy!

  191. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#188):

    “My new chick is awesome”
    WTF?? Who talks like that?

    A poultry farmer on his first acid trip?

  192. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#191): Much better than my guess, which would have been, “Sammy Davis Junior in 1967″, except he probably would have said “a ringa-ding-ding” rather than awesome.

  193. Peanut Gallery
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – That’s not Delores! It’s Helen Clark!

  194. Thibault
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#189): Oh my God I hope not! For if such a thing exists, and I were ever so unfortunate to hear it, I would be left with no alternative but to drive knitting needles into my ears!

  195. Baka Gaijin
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#174): Hey! I had a nice warm spotted dick tonight.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#182): Whut the…? Are those actual words in that post? Did Dr. Seuss do things to you as a child?

    @Thibault (#187): Don’t edit yourself. Let us know how you really feel.

  196. hogenmogen
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Easy on the draw, I just want to break his skin…..
    …oops, nailed him in the spinal column. Ew, that half paralyzed lioness isn’t going to look good on my “friend of the jungle” record. Think, Walker, think! Can I find an indigent stereotype to blame?

  197. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#195): It is the language of love. On my home planet, when a male speaks to a female of his plump, fine rannygazoos, the deal is done.

  198. Baka Gaijin
    November 26th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#197): Sir Mix-A-Lot likes big rannygazoos, he cannot deny…

  199. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#197): Heh heh! We humans are so complex!

  200. Aleph Null
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    I heard something like Auto-Tune back in the 40s. It was called “Sonovox.” I thought it was awesome.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH-krlgo2e8

  201. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#198): Sir Mix-a-lot loves the inflatable coccyx.

  202. This Guy
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#182): Eventually, the content of these threads will change into something like the Tamarian language (or if you prefer, the Ascian language from Book of the New Sun), consisting entirely of references to past threads and utterly impenetrable to oustiders.

  203. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#202): I think of the dear Reverend as a male Chanda Bell.

  204. Master Softheart
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Best use of “awesome” in a comic: Doonesbury dream sequence where a dead character returns briefly from heaven, describes God as “what the word ‘awesome’ used to mean before people began using it to describe pizza.”

    If anyone can find a link to that comic not protected by the GoComics paywall, you will have Softhearted thanks.

  205. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#203): I’m talking Thurber. He speaks Wodehouse, I am more fluent in Thurber.

  206. Peanut Gallery
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): Back in the 60′s, studio tricks were used to give voices depth and richness. Nowadays, Auto-Tune is used to make voices sound like a defective Furby.

  207. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#205): Or I am more thurbent in Fluer. I think I’ll go home now.

  208. Thibault
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Aleph Null (#200): That’s a lot more like the guitar-voice thing Peter Frampton used. Very interesting, though!

  209. lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#204): What a wonderful line! Was it Lacey Davenport, or her husband? (I remember actually crying when Lacey Davenport died. Just a pen and ink drawing. Crazy, isn’t it?)

  210. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#197): Do you, too, feel homesick when you look up at the stars at night?

  211. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#210): You know, it’s spring now on Aldeboran IV.

  212. Daniel
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Zits Connie’s being ungrateful, inconsiderate, and an asshole.
    Momma OH GOD I SEE DEATH IN THE LAST PANEL.

  213. commodorejohn
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): Big, big difference between using something for effect and using something to cover the fact that you just can’t hold a God-damn note. John Lennon could actually sing. (In fairness, there are musicians today who do use Auto-Tune for effect purposes – they’re just a lot fewer and farther between than the lazy hacks who employ it to cover for their lack of basic ability.)

    (Conversely…I can’t think of an example off the top of my head, but I’ll bet there were artists in the ’60s who used studio effects to cover for their crappy performances…)

  214. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#202): Great Googley Moogley, I barely got started! Have you not seen Muffaroo on a roll, or Uncle Lumpy when the fit is on him? Nor others here, at the very mention of whose ‘nyms semioticists tremble, and their bowels loosen?

    // I dare not mention Lateral Pencil Guy, who, thank Grabthar, has been strangely absent lately.

  215. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#205): Ok. You heard a seal bark. Gruntled now?

  216. Peanut Gallery
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#124): Special extra credit assignment for legacy cartoonists: Invent a caption that would allow that Dennis the Menace cartoon to be re-run today.

  217. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#140): Good heavens, you’re right. There was a time when I read ZITS because it was, well, fun. I hope it will rise out of the current funk zone into the fun zone again.

  218. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#205): I’m glad that your grandfather wasn’t here.

  219. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#205): Thurber, Wodehouse. Has no one any more time for Peter Benchley or Will Cuppy?

    Or if we must stick with merry manglers of the mother tongue, El Viejo Herrimann, who could chop up a Latin root, combine it with a piece of Navajo slang, and serve it up with a garnish of Louisiana French Creole gibberish?

  220. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#209): I cried when her husband died while birding.

  221. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#219): I liked Peter Benchley’s dad…

  222. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#221): Sorry, I meant his grandfather. Dag nabbit.

  223. popamatic
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Winkerbean: Ha, Ha! It’s so funny!!

  224. Lateral Penguin
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#214): So soon after Thanksgiving, I’m handicapped by having that song stuck in my head. The one that goes “Dumb ways to diet, so many dumb ways to diet…”

    Life is stochastic.

  225. Master Softheart
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#209): My memory fades, but my instinct is to say that it was Andy Lippincott appearing briefly to Joanie Caucus. The comment sounds more like something Dick Davenport would say, I admit, but the memory refuses to attribute it to him.

  226. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#109): Yeah, it’s sort of annoying, isn’t it? I mean, the whole “joke” of the strip basically boils down to Teenagers, Ain’t They Weird? As if teenaged human beings weren’t human beings dealing with a stage of life that’s awkward and difficult and which every adult has been through, and instead were some strange incomprehensible species that’s sort of human, but not. It’s funny when it’s about Jeremy being a weirdo, but sort of tedious when it’s doing the hur-hur teenagers! thing.

  227. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#226): And Chad, the older brother, has disappeared completely. That’s kinda creepy.

  228. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#176): In a normal comic strip, written by a normal person, it would be because the characters have a thing for retro fashion and like to shop at thrift stores. In this case, it’s because McE is incapable of drawing women as anything other than Frau Frump or torch singer, and men as hapless shlubs, and his aesthetic is stuck somewhere in the mid-century.

  229. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#126): HAR!!! I was just thinking today’s strip wasn’t funny even though I’ve overfilled birdfeeders myself, but you made a silk purse out of that swine’s ear.

  230. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#227): Yeah. It is. O.O

  231. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#228): As I recall, these two are refraining from bonking until their wedding. Perhaps dressing as Frau Frump and Sir Shlub helps keep their genitals safely separated.

  232. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#231): Alas, I’m afraid not. They’ve been drawn this way for years, even when they were teenagers. It’s pretty sad.

  233. Alison
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”:

    “Bernice! Quill and I are a couple!”

    “Oh my God! You mean he’s moving back to the USA?”

    “Um…well…no. He still lives in Australia. But we’re a real couple!”

    “But he still lives in Australia. And you’ll still only see each other using Skype. And you can’t even physically touch the guy.”

    “Uh, yeah. Umm, but we’re a couple!”

    “Don’t ever wake me up with a phone call again, Luann.”

    *Click*

  234. Chaze
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    I realize that Cher used a vocoder on “Believe” but I had no issue with it because I knew the woman could sing and that her vocalizing with it was almost an attempt to sound like a musical instrument.

    To me it all went south with Kanye West. But, then again, most things head south with Kanye.

  235. Horace Broon
    November 26th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#42):

    Two other books with perpetual students with trust funds (but not the flitting from one subject to another, or the alien invasion) are Doctor in the House by Richard Gordon (about a med student who simply keeps failing his exams and retaking the course) and Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett (about a student wizard who keeps just failing his exams, because the pass mark is 88% and he loses the money if his marks drop below 80%).

    Actually, come to think of it, Victor Tugelbend does help defeat an alien invasion (from the Dungeon Dimensions, natch). Pretty sure Richard Grimsdyke doesn’t, though.

  236. Chaze
    November 26th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#232):

    Take a peep at Sunday’s 9CL. Edda is dressed like she’s a cast member in The Sound of Music.

  237. gnome de blog
    November 26th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    One look at Peaches’ butt, in that dress of that particular color and it’s easy to see how she came by the name.

  238. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    @Lateral Penguin (#224):

    Smear your lips with Crazy Glue,
    Fill your refrigerator with doggy poo,
    Acai berry will be your friend,
    You got tape worms coming out your end.

    Dumb ways to diet…

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 26th, 2012 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#235): Doctor in the House? Was that a book, too? I remember it as a endless BBC radio (and I suppose, tv) series, that I caught on occasion. There was a movie or two, no?

    // All that stuff is mixed up in my head with the Carry On series.

  240. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#221): Dammit. I always do that. Robert Benchley. Though Peter was funny in his own way…

  241. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#239): I remember Doctor in the House as a quite funny British sitcom about medical school. It was syndicated in the USA back when local stations were scrambling to find filler to put in the 7:30PM time slot, after the FCC had ruled that network TV couldn’t start prime time until 8:00EST. Anyway, you’re right – it was a British movie back in the early 1950s, starring Dirk Bogarde of all people.

  242. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#148): I too remember child-man Newton’s several visits to New York during Apartment 3-G‘s heyday. I can’t recall his first name (nor does it matter, since it’s impossible to think of him as anything other than “Phigg”), but I do seem to recall that the two stuffed animals who always accompanied him (they were the characters in the series of books that he wrote, and he apparently regarded them as real) were Wilbur the donkey and Wendell the hippo. Every time he would return to the A3G-verse I would have to re-learn that, since that was the same time-frame in which Mr. Westin was taking up residence at Charterstone in MW, and of course once you’ve seen him chow down on a plate of sandwiches it’s hard to imagine that “Wibur” was in fact not the hippo.

  243. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#204), @lynn (#209): Perhaps my favorite Doonesbury strip was the one in which Lacey Davenport had just died, and her late husband returned to earth to accompany her to heaven. As they walk away into the mists, he says “Let’s go meet God.” She asks him, “What does God look like, dear?” and he replies, “Eric Clapton. But he maintains it’s just a coincidence.”

  244. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#216): Invent a caption that would allow that Dennis the Menace cartoon to be re-run today.
    “Check it out, Dad! Joey thinks he’s Al Jolson!”

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#219): Thurber, Wodehouse. Has no one any more time for Peter Benchley or Will Cuppy?
    Never read any Peter Benchley, but I have a half dozen or so books by his Robert Benchley, the majority of which came from the library of the hospital at an air force base. A new surplus store opened in town, in the 70s, and they had all these great books. I was concentrating on the cartoon books — hardback, oversize collections of Charles Addams and George Price, among others — but Benchley was a particular interest at the time. I think I have one book by Cuppy. On the other hand, nobody’s mentioned H. Allen Smith, and I have nearly everything he wrote, lacking the sports anecdote books and I’m not sure what else. I should look for those online.

    @Master Softheart (#225): I wanted to attribute that to Andy as well, though I don’t recall the strip. I know I have it in the next room — it would be on the CD-ROM that Trudeau put into The Bundled Doonesbury. (I think they’re all online at his web site too.)

    @gnome de blog (#237): Really love her peaches. Want to shake her can.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#239): Somewhere or other — online, maybe — I bought a mammoth DVD set of Carry On movies, and it’s not even complete. It’s complete enough, though! It has all the ones I remembered, and more, and a documentary that at least mentions and shows clips from the ones that aren’t in there. CARRY ON CLEO is the one I remember watching with my family on TV ages back. CARRY ON NURSE would be the one I saw the last half hour of the first time we were in England. CARRY ON REGARDLESS is one I stayed up late for (KLZ used to have “Carry On Theater,” but not for long enough, alas) only to have the last five minutes simply get chopped. I didn’t find out what happened until I got the disks. Was it worth it? Well, not by itself, no, but I’m glad to have them, just because.

  245. Shrug, Apparently Fellow-Traveller of Spam
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nickolas Kalchik (#y190):

    And this Kalchik spam survivees even after Uncle Lumpy (presumably) deleted Shrug’s #25 on the Thanksgiving Eve metapost For No Good Reason!! Even though another Mudge had already commented on it:

    25. Liam
    November 24th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gabber About Gobblers (#25):

    Sorry but I’m the one throwing frozen Jolly Ranchers.
    *********
    Sob.

    (All I said was something like “Hey, whichever floater is throwing frozen turkeys, stop; those things hurt!”) Apparently I was assumed to be a spammer for the Frozen Turkey Industrial Complex.

    Of course, you know, this means war…

    Hail, hail Fredonia! Land of the brave and [deleted]

  246. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#20):

    “MT – Mark sure is happy about going fishing with his possibly-homicidal abductor! Of course, that’s because he gets to go fishing.”

    Of course he’s happy he gets to go fishing…..He doesn’t have to fish with Rusty!

  247. Peanut Gallery
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#238):

    No more comic-strip foods; they only make you thicken
    (such as Peanuts, Pickles, and Popeye‘s chicken).
    Whatever Rhymes with Orange is all you’ll eat,
    Until even salmon squares seem like a big treat.

    Dumb ways to diet, so many dumb ways to diet…

  248. Shrug, Staring at a Syndicate Stone Wall
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @Little A. (#70):

    “By the way a few years ago I asked a question which, to the best of my memory, nobody answered: how can we find out for each strip, how many newspapers actually carry it? Are these numbers available someplace?”

    As far as I’ve ever found out, the information is Proprietary — meaning that the syndicates know, but have no intention ofing share that knowledge.

    I’ve sometimes thought a Good Internet Deed would be starting a blog where people listed what comics ran in their local papers, so mere readers could start to get a handle on the data. Any volunteers?

  249. The Ridger
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#188): “My new chick is awesome”
    WTF?? Who talks like that?

    Someone trying to get on his mother’s last nerve?

  250. Peanut Gallery
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#244):

    “Check it out, Dad! Joey thinks he’s Al Jolson!”

    You win! They’d still get hate mail, but at least there’d be plausible deniability.

    I’ve got H. Allen Smith’s Low Man on a Totem Pole and Life in a Putty Knife Factory, both of which I first read when I was a kid. His books were hugely popular in their day, and almost forgotten now. My local library has none of them.

  251. Old Folkie
    November 26th, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#49): I’m amazed at the stuff I learn on this website.

  252. Shrug, Staring at a Syndicate Stone Wall
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#151):

    I think there were real-life examples of Perpetual Students on trust funds or some such prior to APT 3G, and certainly prior to Zelazny’s DOORWAYS IN THE SAND; when I was in college in the 1960s some of my classmates knew of one such, who had finally been forced into getting his bachelor’s degree and immediately entered graduate school to pass away another couple of decades.

    /// Yes, this was a FOAF story as I heard it, but seems plausible enough.

    //// If I had had an independent income, I might have gone for something similar myself. Though there are some majors I don’t think I could have handled even if money and time were not a factor.

    ////// I probably could have whipped the hecky-darn out of the famous rumored major of Underwater Basket-Weaving, though.

    //////// At least, if I ever had managed to learn how to swim. Or weave.

  253. Shrug, Who Heard What Syd Said
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#195):

    ” Whut the…? Are those actual words in that post? Did Dr. Seuss do things to you as a child?”

    He’s just talking out of his Rumpo.

  254. Shrug, Who Has His Memories of Mirth
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#219):

    “Thurber, Wodehouse. Has no one any more time for Peter Benchley or Will Cuppy?”

    I assume you meant to say Robert Benchley rather than Peter, and in that case, hell yes to both of them. Also Corey Ford (all of his early works) and Cornelia Otis Skinner.

  255. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#251): We are all prisoners of the jail of underemployment here, which leaves plenty of time for, shall we say, research.

  256. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Please to note my title change, everyone.

  257. Sgt. Stoned
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Momma: Francis’s bell-bottom pants are very…what the word the cool kids are throwing around these days?…GROOVY! Yeah, they’re very GROOVY!

    MW: It’s not about “ur arm”? Dawn, you cruel minx! Of course it’s not about his arm. It’s about the arm he doesn’t have!

  258. The Mary Meddler
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    MW – What’s the sound of one hand clapping? I dunno, but it’s probably the same sound as a one-armed man texting.

  259. Lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    I myself, in addition to Thurber, am partial to O.W. Holmes. The physician, poet and writer, not the jurist (who was his son). And, for low-class reading, I likes me some Alexander Woolcot.

  260. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @annieLurk (#19): That was indeed precious.

  261. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    we now know what Brenda Starr has been up to.

    if Gary Larson was still doing The Far Side, this strip would be of a corgi.

  262. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    For queek: Sleepy-time squee!

  263. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley (#256): As long as we’re talking Benchleys, let’s put in a good word for Nathaniel, who wrote a lot of books, including the one that was turned into the film “THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING.” I never read the book, but I had a brief crush on that young Russian sailor in the movie who had the fling with the American girl. Yowza.

  264. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    November 26th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Mark: It sure is great to be back in Lost Forest with you, Cherry, and…(looks at Rusty) everybody!
    Cherry: Hope you like these pancakes!
    Rusty: Mark!
    Mark: Well, that kidnapping sure made a good story! Especially the part where that seagull helped me escape! They made me go fishing! Hear that, Rusty? They MADE ME GO FISHING! I caught a big bonefish!
    Cherry: That reminds me, Mark. Ranger Tom Martin stopped by. I let him use that little cabin out by the…
    Rusty: Mark!
    Mark: You know, those simple island people lead a pretty nice life; just fishing, eating, and…
    Rusty: MARK!!
    Mark: Yes, Rusty?
    Rusty: Mark can you take me fishing, please?
    Mark: You’re not listening, Rusty! Hahaha! What a stup …no, listen, Rusty, I was just saying how the bad man MADE ME GO FISHING! Get it? He MADE ME GO FISHING SO THE LAST GODDAMN THING I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS GO FISHING OR TALK ABOUT GOING FISHING!! GET IT??
    Rusty: Uh..OK, Mark, sorry…
    MARK: OK, but I don’t want to hear about this AGAIN!
    Doc: Want me to hit him for you, Mark?
    Mark: Anyway, like I was saying, Pop and me, used to go fishing to feed the whole village! Pop was this old guy, kinda like you Doc, except he isn’t senile and doesn’t pee his pants on a daily basis! Kidding, Doc! Pop and I would go out fishing, every morning just before dawn. The ocean is so calm early in the morning, and the way the clouds reflect on the water…it’s really pretty, Cherry! You’d like it! Yeah, the sunrise over the ocean, the salt air! Fishing! There’s nothing like it!
    Rusty: Can you take ME fishing, Mark?
    Mark: What? What did you say? LET ME HEAR EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING ASKED ME, NOT ONE MINUTE AFTER I SAID I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT FISHING!!

    Mark: WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

    Mark: That’s what I thought. Anyway, Cherry, there were so many sea turtles, dolphins, birds and even whales, it was like being on one of those nature shows! What an experience. And, boy, do those bonefish put up a fight! The big ones can really wear you out!
    Cherry: Tell me about it. By the time Ranger Tom Martin left, I was exhau…I mean, I’ve heard you talk about bonefish before..
    Mark: I know you’re not fond of eating bonefish, Cherry!
    Doc: That’s not what Ranger Tom Martin says.
    Mark: Is Ranger Tom Martin still here?
    Doc: No, he’s probably outside!
    Mark and Cherry: Oh, Doc! Hahahaha!
    Cherry: After you finish your pancakes, I made some pie!
    Mark: Everyone likes your pie, Cherry! Ranger Tom Martin won’t stop talking about it! I even have other guys telling me how much Ranger Tom Martin likes your pie!
    Cherry: Well, he can’t get enough of it while he’s here, I can tell you! Morning, noon, and night!
    Mark: That’s nice. Hey, Cherry, remember that widow Sanchez and her daughter Ava? That was before I tracked down those goose-banding religious nuts! Anyway, Ava was living on the island where I got taken captive! Small world, huh!
    Cherry: A child, living without her mother?
    Mark; No, she’s uh. older now. I mean, she looks like an adult, you know, womanly. The sweetest firmest little knock… Not that I looked, of course…but she has a kid, and she takes care of the house really well!
    Cherry: You lived with her?
    Mark: Well, I suppose, technically, yes.
    Cherry: And did you…
    Mark: Cherry, please listen..I…Look… AHHH! YES! YES! SHE MADE ME DO THINGS! JUST LIKE YOU DO! DON’T MAKE ME talk about it please. You know I don’t like it.
    Cherry: yes, I guess I do. It’s just…
    Rusty: Mark? Don’t get mad, please!
    Mark: OK, Rusty, what is it? Are you going to ask me to take you fishing?
    Rusty: Don’t get mad!
    Mark: Tell you what, Rusty! I’ll take you fishing!
    Rusty: Yay!
    Mark: I will take you fishing, but not today!
    Rusty: That’s OK!
    Mark: Not tomorrow, either!
    Rusty: OK!?
    Mark: I’ll take you fishing as soon as the trauma of being forced to go fishing wears off!
    Rusty: Yay!
    Mark: Unless I have to leave on another story first!
    Rusty: Oh. (30 seconds of silence) Oh! (sobs)
    Mark, Cherry, and Doc: Hahahahaha!

  265. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#259): Can’t go wrong with some James Wolcott, either.

  266. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#262): F-N SAVED!!!

    *squee*

  267. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#263): That was a heckuva movie, an ABC New Year’s Eve favorite, if I recall correctly…

  268. Poteet
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Staring at a Syndicate Stone Wall (#248): I couldn’t do the blog part, but if someone else did, I’d be willing to list the comics in a couple of newspapers, as long as I wouldn’t be dragged away in chains.

  269. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#263): His career never quite survived Barbarella, did it?

  270. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 26th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#259): I keep meaning to purchase The Portable Woolcot and that other one-volume Woolcot book. I’m afraid to say The Woolcot Reader because that might be that book he edited of mostly stuff by others, which I have. Again, it’s something a quick trip to Abebooks would probably get me for eight dollars including shipping, but I never get around to it.

    @Poteet (#263): That book was around for a while. We had a paperback of it, unless it was a novelization of the actual movie, but I’m guessing it was the original novel. I know I read bits of it, but I don’t actually remember whether I read it all. I don’t recall, but I expect I had to choose between remembering which books I really read in the sixties and remembering the cigarette jingles on TV, since I know I still remember the jingles. And the song about being an acne pimple.

  271. Francis Hobbs is awesome
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#131): And on really cold December nights, we used to burn Yule “Analogs” in our fireplace. (What, you thought “Fahrenheit 451? was strictly for reading?)

    Your puns are awesome!

  272. Lynn
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#270): I have “Long Long Ago” (which contains the heart-wrenching eulogy for the guy who founded The Seeing Eye). There’s also While Rome Burns(his own stuff), As You Were (which I think is a compilation from the Stars and Stripes, not his own work), The Woolcot Reader, The Woolcot Second Reader.

  273. seismic-2
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    My favorite “awe-some” story is the apocryphal one about John Wayne.

  274. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 26th, 2012 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#131):

    “And on really cold December nights, we used to burn Yule “Analogs” in our fireplace. (What, you thought “Fahrenheit 451? was strictly for reading?)”

    Well, fine, as long as your copy isn’t on a Kindle or iPad!

  275. Algonquin Fan
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    I think it’s Woollcott, folks. And I like Dorothy Parker also.

  276. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @Elton Strudwick (#275): Your witty post makes me very interested in Burberry for some reason. Spam A Lot.

  277. Droopy Says
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Three chimps? Didn’t Parker originally count four of them? Have we just established that his mathematical skills are worse than proportional to those of a spider? Or is he too dim to realize that the other chimps are understudies?

    Jugs Parker: Still going on about Avery and Bea, to no effect. This strip finally did it: it broke the space-time cotinuum and turned the Avery arc into a loop.

    Mock Trail: So this is the scene that follows the closing cedits in Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” in which it is revealed that the birds are actively plotting to take over the world, one naturalist at a time.

    Phantom: Does the Bandar drug have the ability to miraculously sterilize and heal a shallow arrow wound? Would Stripey Butt have had better results with a generic drug?

    Family Circus: Dolly is getting an early start on her lack of parenting skills.

  278. Mr. O'Malley
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    @Thibault (#187): has the story right. As I remember, Auto-tune came out in the early 90s, originally as an effects box, but later as a software plugin. But Auto-tune abuse didn’t come along until a few years later.

    “Crimson and Clover” was done by running the vocals through a guitar amp using a lot of tremolo. It sounds rather similar to flanging, a technique originally done by running two tapes in parallel at almost but not exactly the same speed. The Beatles used it. But it soon became available as an electronic effect.

    Roland made a digital voice processor, the DVP-1, back in the early 1980s. It would do robotic voices as one of its effects, but it used synthesized vowels rather than pitch-corrected ones. I’m not sure how much it got used on recordings, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me Enya had one.

  279. tallyHO
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#278):

    It would do robotic voices as one of its effects, but it used synthesized vowels rather than pitch-corrected ones. I’m not sure how much it got used on recordings,

    Domoarigato, Mr. O’Malley!
    Domo
    DOMO!
    Domo
    DOMO!

  280. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 5:49 am [Reply]

    @Algonquin Fan (#275):
    Friend of Dorothy, eh?

  281. Ed Bob
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    Anyone else having trouble with comics kingdom?

  282. Mr. O'Malley
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:15 am [Reply]

  283. gleeb
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Ah, like Binito Moosoolini, the former Italian Leader. I guess Tarzan never went up against the Fascists, or Crazy Harry would know how to spell his name. Can’t say I know what Batiuk’s excuse is, though.

    Rex: “I saw a strip-dancer crawling along the edge of a straight razor…that’s my dream.”

    Spidey: Like I said before, the third chimp is the understudy.

  284. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#244): …a mammoth DVD set of Carry On movies…

    I think I have that set (how many mammoth sets could they have issued?).

    I think the first ones, Carry On Sergeant, and Carry On Nurse, were the best (that’s usually the case, isn’t it?). But of the later ones, I thought Carry On Screaming was quite good.

    Kenneth Williams was a hoot – he simply couldn’t be unfunny if he tried.

  285. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#284): Kenneth Williams was a hoot – he simply couldn’t be unfunny if he tried.

    Sorry, I guess that’s a terrible thing to say about an actor. And the poor guy evidently had a rotten private life, and eventually committed suicide.

    On the other hand, imagine: “Kenneth Williams is… Hamlet!”

  286. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#280): Friend of Dorothy, eh?

    If all the friends of Dorothy were laid end to end, well, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

  287. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#285): Not everyone agrees that Kenneth Williams committed suicide. IMDb says the actor may have died from an accidental overdose of sleeping pills and painkillers (he had ulcers).

  288. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#287): Really? Maybe so. It actually struck me as odd that a person would off themself at age 62. One would think that if you were really miserable, you’d do it sooner. And if you had managed to hang on until your sixties, you were probably used to misery, and would just tough it out at that point.

    But, folks is queer, don’t you know.

  289. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Frazz: I lol’d.

    laCuc: that, that almost makes sense!

    Lio: ooops

    Luann: Luill, definitely Luill.

    R&R: heeee! big dog elbownose, I miss it.

    Zits: Sarah as Overly Attentive Girlfriend.

    JP: big “heart” nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

    MG&G: /facepalm.

    OBH: been browsing Autocowrecks again?

    PMP: stealing gags from Dilbert. (I think I’ve been at that meeting.)

    RMMD: guest-starring the Winkerbean funk!

    RwO: *applaz*

    Retail: alas, poor Cooper.

  290. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    o FRACK!

    sorry for the missed tag.

    *self-flagellates*

  291. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . spanking games.

    (bats :[, can you add a red hand-print to Little Naked Girls asscheeck?)

  292. return man 2
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Nice share, thanks.
    return man 2 http://returnman2.blogspot.com/

  293. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#88): “….so I’m pretty sure it was the one on 26th street.”

    Being east of Old Dixie highway and the FEC railroad tracks, I think it may have been a Broward Drugs store. I seem to remember Wilton Drugs being further down Wilton Manor Drive. Regardless, it’s nice to recall those days when I drove my ’59 Chevy convertible through that area on my way to work at Publix Market in Wilton Manors (it was the old Publix, since rebuilt, right across the street from Barton and Miller’s dry cleaners). That was a long time ago and that entire section has changed so much. It’s very nice but so different from what it looked like in the 60′s and 70′s.

  294. anon
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    9CL FASHIONS: The clothes look somewhat ‘retro’ and they could have come from a thrift store, or a vintage store. But the characters, you have to remember, are NOT middle-class mall rats, but live a rather good life in New York City. And I can assure you, their clothes cost big big bucks. Take the old-fashioned hats, the berets: we here out in Walmart land point and laugh, haw haw! But if you leaf through any issue of New York Magazine, you will see little photos of some dumbass thing you might have seen in the back of your mom’s closet, now featured for sale at some pricey boutique. (the J. Peterman catalog is chock full of florid examples!) New York Mag will show a picture of a mundane beret, and underneath: “keep your hair on! don’t let winter breezes dis-tress you, find these one-of-a-kind hand-knitted berets, made by local artisans from recycled cashmere sweaters, at the Snob Boutique, 156th and 8th Street. ($120). And so it goes – nothing ‘trendy’, but what some conservative upper-class private school type might wear in their 20′s, ironically, but costing more than your grocery bill for a month.

  295. anon
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    9CL FASHIONS continued…When Edda and Amos are strolling the streets of New York, you will see her in a finely tailored long wool coat and expensive high heeled Italian leather boots. Not an Aeropostale puffer coat and duck boots. Amos dresses like Clark Kent, mid-50′s, and Florsheim wing-tips. You won’t catch him in a baseball cap, t-shirt with a wolf screen printed on the front, and baggy pants fallin’ down. Though he might perk it up with a hand-knit silk and linen scarf ($300) from Snob Boutique’s annual sale.

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