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If all comics looked like this forever, I wouldn’t be sad

Heathcliff, 12/2/12

Ha, what’s this? Something has gone terribly wrong with the Heathcliff coloring process — and by “terribly wrong” I mean “delightfully right,” obviously. Someone who knows more about this than me should chime in, but I’m guessing what we’re looking at is an image file that only contains some of the Photoshop layers that went into the strip. It’s totally incomprehensible and actually amazingly beautiful, as far as I’m concerned, with the pastel-y vibe and the large, unsettling white spaces on the cat’s faces. This should be hanging up in some little avant garde artspace downtown, but instead it will have probably been “corrected” online to the usual Heathcliff banality by the time you read this.

Mary Worth, 12/2/12

Gosh, whaddya know! Jim’s down at the pier and he’s not panicking or freaking out at all! I guess he managed to cure himself of being a trauma-haunted, semi-delusional control freak with years of therapy with a trained professional by just sucking it up and going down to the pier and realizing it’s not so bad. Problem solved! Now he’s going to point at a bunch of people, just to prove that, despite his missing arm, he can point with the best of them, just like any two-armed man would.

Marmaduke, 12/12/12

Marmaduke didn’t like playing cowboy so much. His task was to send humans down the infinitely deep pit to the hell-dimension that was his awful kingdom, not other dogs. Why did the dogs provoke him? Never again, he thought, as he watched the hat fall downward, ever downward, to the chamber of eternal agony. Never again.

Luann, 12/12/12

Yes, Mr. DeGroot! Burn it. Burn it all! Burn everything down.

206 responses to “If all comics looked like this forever, I wouldn’t be sad”

  1. Dartpaw86
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Jim apparently grew an arm at some point. Because his sleeve isn’t pinned up, it reaches down like an armed sleeve would, and before you say “He can still wear a normal sleeve and still be missing an arm” look at the very bottom of the panel, it bends where his elbow should be.

  2. Dartpaw86
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#1):
    Or he’s wearing a prosthetic arm…

  3. Ringo Beaumont III
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    MW: “We’ll always have pier, us.”

  4. Lenoxus
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    When I saw this Heathcliff (here, not in my paper), my initial assumption was that the lack of outlines would feature in the joke. I was reminded of a number of Calvin and Hobbes Sunday strips in which a new visual gimmick was employed to make a joke like “Stop being so negative” or “You’re looking at this from too many perspectives” or “Sometimes everything is black and white!” So I was mildly disappointed, but then found myself laughing extra hard at the untintentional anti-humor whereby the “punchline” is a meaningless “Kitty Korner.”

  5. Esther Blodgett
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    “Heathcliff” in its corrupted form makes much more sense than “Marmaduke” as it (presumbably) was meant to be presented.

  6. Drahken
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    The heathcliff one is normal on both gocomics and arcamax. It makes little difference though because the only text in the strip is in the final panel and the “kitty korner”. It’s a lame political reference, nearly a month too late. “Sometimes he works across party lines.” (The little blue figure is a small dog and the big grey figure is a bullying cat. Which is rather odd, since heathcliff himself is a bullying cat, so why would another bullying cat bother him so?)

  7. Crankenstank
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    I’d normally say that’s a printing error where the black layer didn’t get passed over the strip, methinks. Except you’re viewing this online so that doesn’t make any sense.

  8. seismic-2
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MW: “Jim! You’re on the pier!!!!”
    “Yes, I’m not afraid of it any more, after I got fitted with this Styrofoam prosthetic arm that doubles as a flotation device! Here, let me show you how the fingers function as signal flares!””

    “Here’s looking at you, kid.”
    “What does that mean, Jim?”
    “Oh, it’s just something I used to say to my sister, before climbing into her bed.”

  9. Ned Ryerson
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Luann: Alright! This is the beginning of Frank’s Wild Years!! (God, how he hated that little dog.)

  10. KreatureFeatures
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#2): I’m picturing an awesome new prosthetic arm, with a sophisticated “pier-fear” defeating mode, and the power to crush dry lime sodas with ease.

  11. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    GA: Gadzooks! That’s an old joke. I’ve been telling that one for decades. I can’t even remember where I stole it from. It’s a good joke tho, and pretty well done here, but now I can’t tell it anymore, because people will think I stole it from Gasoline Alley.

    // Wait… No one reads Gasoline Alley, do they?

    Get Fuzzy: Heh. “Butt Unknown” would be a good screen name. Or “Synonymous W. Power”.

  12. greghousesgf
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    I know I’ve brought this up before here (I think it may have been in reference to Dennis the Menace because that strip does this a lot) but it’s not the fifties anymore and kids don’t play cowboys!

  13. DoktorZoom
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff is fighting pastel aliens in front of a row of post-apocalyptic outhouses? I’m OK with that.

  14. K. Ivan Ruppert
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    When I was a kid in the 80s the whole “Cowboys and Indians” thing was almost completely dead. There wasn’t much of it in contemporary media and kids didn’t play it much. Now it’s 25-30 years later so I can’t imagine kids actually play Cowboys and Indians at all any more, especially since the only westerns in our contemporary culture are dour and grim treatises on the harsh, often lawless lives lived on the frontier.

    I don’t blame him for deciding Marmaduke should be another cowboy and not the mount (As should be the intuitive idea), since if I were in his place, I wouldn’t want to give Marm a reason to eat me.

  15. pugfuggly
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    MW Hmm…you know, I’ve never actually seen Casablanca, but isn’t that quote from the scene when Humphrey Bogart is saying goodbye to Ingrid Bergman, forever, or they’d both regret it the rest of their lives ?

    In any event, here’s short list of other classic movies quotes that wold have been more amusing in that particular speech bubble:

    1. “I AM NOT AT ANIMAL!”
    2. “May the Force be with you.”
    3. “Plastics.”
    4. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
    5. “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
    6.”HEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY!”
    7. “You can’t handle the truth!”
    8. “They call me Mister Tibbs!”
    9. “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!”
    10. “TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!”

  16. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#Y111): Should we presume every stalker is well versed in dialogue from old movies and has
    “Here’s looking at you, kid!” on the tips of their tongues?

    Tsk, tsk! You haven’t been paying attention*, Mr. HO. When last Dawn and Jim met, they had just finished watching “Casablanca” at some art-house movie theater.

    *NTTAWWT, IRT Mary Worth.

  17. Lynn
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#11): It would be a terrible loss to the world for you to be Butt Unknown.

  18. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): Ooh! Can I play?

    “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.”
    “I’m walking here! I’m walking here!”
    “I see dead people.”
    “Is it safe?”
    “My precious.”
    “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend!”

  19. Weaselboy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann: So why doesn’t Mrs. DeGroot reply “we already have one going in the fireplace, you moron” instead of “that sounds lovely”? My theory is that he’s testing her to see how advanced her Alzheimer’s is. If she’s not dialed in right now, he can proceed with the torching of the house. Looks like it’s all clear, Mr. D.

  20. Victory Garden
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    If this were print, I’d say someone left out the black plate. But it’s not, so … who knows. Kawaii, pastelly ghosts in the machine.

  21. pugfuggly
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff Ever wonder why cats sleep so much? Apparently their dreams are awesome peyote-like journeys into a mystical fantasy land.

    Luann I like how they decided to male it very clear that Mrs DeGroot isn`t thinking along the same lines as her firebug husband. Otherwise, I would have just assumed that were both harbouring fantasies of the flaming destruction of christmas, and the joke would be that they are both dangerous lunatics. Which is still funny, just a little dark.

  22. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#Y122): “Demon squirt of runt slime” is a great name for a band.

    Yes, but what genre? Retro-Bluegrass? Alt-Gospel? Gregorian Metal chant?

    // Hi, I’m John Dilliberto, and you’re hearing Echos. Next up, the latest ambient soundscape from world music newcomers, Demon Squirt of Runt Slime.

  23. seismic-2
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18): Jim (falling off the pier): “Mein Fuhrer! I can float!!!”

    Unfortunately, we know that they are stuck in Casablanca, so the last line will be “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Then it will be off to a Charterstone Pool Party, where Mary will have rounded up the usual suspects.

  24. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    I like the missing black ink ‘cuz now there’s no words! (If this could only be done for FW…9CL…)

  25. Weaselboy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#19): Oops, thanks to pugfuggly, I just got that Mrs. DeGroot is only imgagining the fire in the fireplace. Please disregard comment #19.

  26. Notebooked
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    http://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff

    And there’s the real one. The other version looks so much nicer, for some reason. The colors are brighter.

  27. pugfuggly
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18):

    nice!

    Just a few more…

    “Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.”
    “Back…..and to the left.”
    “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”
    “Don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever.”
    “You can either surf, or you can fight!”

  28. Digger
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Thank goodness Josh was here to explain that Heathcliff. For a second I thought I had accidentally dropped acid.

    Luann: So does Mr. DeGroot have a deep, dark, secret hatred for Christmas? Or is he just a lazy asshole who resents that he had to go dig the ornaments out of the crawlspace?

  29. pugfuggly
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#25):

    Of course, the real question now is why are the DeGroots putting up a christmas tree in a darkened room with a spotlight on them. My guess: they’re decorating the ‘special room’ in he basement that they don’t let the kids in.

  30. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#23): HAR!
    I think Jim’s taken these past few weeks to master his fears. He invested in a prosthetic arm and learned that the pier is no place to be afraid to approach. In true Padawan style, Dawn will preen and congratulate herself that she was the one instrumental in getting through to Jim.
    Sadly, she will learn that Jim’s new self-confidence means that he always will assume the “man-superior” position during sex.
    Even more sadly, things go awry one Saturday night when he accidentally pulls off her right nipple with his prosthesis.

  31. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Todays MARK TRAIL is one I did just recently. My sweetheart saw a couple of interesting videos and told me of what she saw… I looked into it and when it was revealed that dolphins call each other by name… well, there was the page! I hope you all enjoy!

    http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

    ‘James Allen

  32. Lynn
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Top of the world, Ma!
    There’s no place like home!
    Don’t call me Shirley!
    You’re a wizard, Harry!

  33. Ed Dravecky
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Just Cowboys? That’s like playing “Cops” or “Chutes” without the Robbers and/or Ladders.

  34. Lynn
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    IE crashed on me and now I can’t do ‘reply’ but I would just like to assure everyone that I have no first-hand knowledge of Mr. Scudder’s Butt Unknown. Only my vivid imagination of such. As a sweet young thing barely out of high school, the (hind)sight of Edward Fox in Day of the Jackal became my gold standard. Not that I’ve had many opportunities to comparison shop. *sigh*

  35. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    I think I saved a Baldo from a couple years back that had the same coloring press problems. I’ll see if I can find the link on my Flickr.

    Anyone remember when Beetle and Sarge had Cyan faces? Good times.

  36. KreatureFeatures
    December 2nd, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#31): Thanks for another quality Sunday strip. I enjoyed the dolphin language discussion, especially because I was just reading about some recent discoveries on this topic. I was surfing once, when a group of passing dolphins submerged, and started teasing me by giving gentle tugs on the surf leash around my ankle. They are smart critters with a sense of humor. I find the funniest part of today’s Mark Trail to be the crushed look on Mark’s face, as he sadly discusses with Andy his declining position on the ladder of mammalian intelligence.

  37. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#36):
    hahahah I’m sure Andy didn’t take it personally!

  38. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Lynn (#34): Oh, well, if you must know what I look like, take a look at Michelangelo’s David. Now imagine David’s older, more athletic brother. Yeah. That’s it. With a beard.

    // I do good drugs.

  39. Doug Puthoff
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    I set up my Christmas tree the other day. It was one of those “Charlie Brown Christmas Trees” about five inches high. I bought it at a Borders “Going out of Business” sale for $2.25 plus tax. It’s nice having a Christmas tree that only takes five minutes to set up.

  40. Alice
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Mr. DeGroot, trapped in a Groundhog Day universe in which his wife would rather spend her time preventing her son and his girlfriend from making love than give her husband some, in which his son is a weenie who won’t ever tell mom to let him and his partner live their own lives, in which his daughter is a flake who’s terrified of a relationship with anyone in the same hemisphere, in which his daughter’s best “friend” is a bitter, nasty harridan who never smiles except ironically, and in which that goddamn dog has never managed to get housebroken…

    …has finally gone mad and is biding his time until he can burn the house down with everyone in it. On Christmas.

  41. ByJove
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18):

    “I may not be a two-armed man, but I know what love is.”

    “I extend to you a laurel … and hardy finger”

    “Now I know what your thinking. ‘Does he he have one arm or two?’ Well, in all this excitement I forgot myself. But seeing as this is the Santa Royale Pier, the most dangerous pier in the world you have to ask yourself ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”

  42. PriceCheck
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I initially found Luann amusing solely based on the oddly labeled contents of the boxes that Mr. DeGroot wanted to burn (Are candy canes flammable? I’d love to find out!), right up until I got to the box at bottom simply labeled “Santa Claus”.

  43. KreatureFeatures
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Mark is probably feeling inadequate and jealous, because of this dolphin skill that he sadly lacks: “A male can “buzz” a female with ultrasonic squeaks, checking to see if she is in season for mating.” I would pay good money to see a weekday strip featuring Mark buzzing Cherry, Kelly, or Senora Momjeans with ultrasonic squeaks.

  44. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    EEE-EEEE-EE! to you, too! That Flipper thinks he can just snap his flukes and get anyone he wants!

  45. Chareth Cutestory
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#27):
    I’ll be back.
    Run! Get to the choppaaa!
    Its not a tumor.
    Hasta la vista, baby.
    Come on, Cohaagen, you got what you want. Give these people air!

  46. Aviatrix
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#18): These are brilliant, and it’s so sad that @seismic-2 (#23) is undoubtedly right, because I would infinitely prefer the next strip to feature Dawn’s misshapenly bloated (although how would you tell) corpse washing up on the beach.

  47. tHE real mARK tRAIL
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#43): @bats :[ (#44):

    Soon, an upcoming sunday page I did on “carrion plants” will run… in it I featured the Titan Arum. Cherry is also in the page, well, I don’t want to give too much away, but I’ve got a feeling there’ll be plenty of comments!
    stay tuned!
    ‘James

  48. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#27): You people are going too high brow.

    “GARBAGE DAY!”
    “Oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man, oh God!”

  49. Chip Whittle
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Alley Oop: You know, if the world is going to end on December 21 Alley Oop’s writers maybe should hurry the plot up a little.

  50. Harold
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Dawn is right to have a look of utter terror at Jim’s sudden appearance, especially since he is so uncharacteristically cheerful.

    Jim: Here’s looking at you, kid.
    Dawn: Jim! You…you’re on the pier! You’ve overcome your fear!
    Jim: I’m not afraid anymore, Dawn. I realized my conflict was about you, not about the pier. You see, you resemble my sister so much, I want you to be just like her. In every way.
    Dawn: But…Jim, your sister is dead!
    Jim: Goodbye, Dawn.

  51. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — Does this strip mean that Luann’s mom forces her husband to assist her with the elaborate decorating of the house for the holidays every year even though he loathes every moment of it? What a lovely family tradition.

  52. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    MW — Just for the record, I wish to point out that flowers do not, in fact, explode out of sheer terror as they are suspended over and then tossed into the ocean. I might, but they don’t.

  53. Comcis Fan
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    MW: Calling, texting, e-mailing — Dawn really knows how to tell a guy she just wants to be friends.

  54. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: If Count Weirdly can escape from jail and build a bunch of robot replicas of himself, certainly he can manage the trivial task of shaving himself.

    But can this purported Count Weirdly pass the Turing test?

  55. Little Guy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    JP/ASM: Cleavage, cleavage, everywhere.

    Doonesbury: And just like that, the controversial cockpittable strip of yore has turned into a “Luann/Zits” hybrid.

    SFx: Weirdly doesn’t grow a beard, silly Weber. And even if he did, it would be a goatee, thus proving he’s Good Kindly Dr. Weirdly from the Mirror Universe.

    PV: Medieval ancestors of Malcolm X.

  56. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    9CL — I don’t get it and I don’t care.

  57. Horace Broon
    December 2nd, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    BB: General Halftrack has decided he doesn’t like golf! Hooray! Now if Hi could make the same decision…

    DT: “Back in the other city – the one I can’t name for copyright reasons…”

    FW: And some people wonder how he got his nickname…

    FG Vultan! I really hope he gets to say “WHAT?! Gordon’s ALIIIIVE?!!?” at some point in this storyline.

    JP: That’s nice, Peaches is looking forward to meeting her new stepfather.

    PV: That fox on Rhoda’s head spotted one tell-tale sign that she wasn’t an old man, and had to be silenced.

  58. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

  59. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#44):
    Love to loooove you baaaaybeeee…(repeat 37 times or something like that)

  60. Horace Broon
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    PV, again: Rhoda told Gawaine that she was going to Lockbramble Inn and he said “Wear the fox hat”.

  61. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    MW — This story might be just a little more compelling if we had ever seen any friendship-type common interests besides dead sisters and watery disasters. Do these two like any of the same books, food, songs, politics, TV shows, artists, dog breeds, primary colors, illegal drugs, hair gel?

  62. RavenHawk
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): Had to get in on this, too:

    1. The horror. The horror.
    2. Mein Fuhrer, I can Walk!
    3. Redrum.
    4. Hello Clarice.
    5. I’m mad as hell, & I’m not going to take it anymore!!!
    6. Why so serious?!
    7. What a wonderful day for an exorcism.
    8. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
    9. I’d dance with you, til the cows come home. Come to think of it, I’d rather dance with the cows, & wait for you to come home.

  63. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Brokeback Marmaduke!

    Best. Luann. Ever.

    MW – is this a dream of Dawn’s? I say that because Jim appears to have both arms now.

  64. SurrealKangaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    You have the wrong dates on some of your comics.

    Anyway, Heathcliff is one of the freakiest things I have ever seen. If I saw it in a newspaper I would of figured that it was a mistake that happened only to me and not a nation wide thing.

  65. seismic-2
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I think the finale to the Dawn-and-Jim story arc should not be a piece of famous movie dialog; rather, it should be a famous example of a wordless movie finale, namely Kubrick’s 2001. Dawn reaches out to grab Jim’s extended hand, and she is suddenly drawn into a vortex of strange colors and distorted shapes (OK, that would be hard to distinguish from many other Sunday panels of MW, but never mind.) Dawn finds herself in a completely white Charterstone apartment. She looks in a mirror and sees that she is no longer college-aged but is now much older. (OK, that’s like all Sunday panels of MW, but never mind.) Before her in the white apartment is spread a white tablecloth over a dinner table, and so she sits down for a meal of Wilbur’s mayonnaise sandwiches on white bread. Back in Mary’s apartment, Dawn had demonstrated in a week of unsuccessful attempts to eat a slice of pie that she has in fact never figured out how to use a fork, so here in the white room she naturally knocks her wine glass off the table when she tries to eat. She then reaches for the glass on the floor, and she sees an elderly version of herself in bed. That old woman looks up from her bed, the bomabastic chords of Also Sprach Zarathustra rumble forth, and before her there appears a sacred rectangular monolith. It is a giant salmon square. Dawn reaches for it, and she is zapped into space high above earth, where she sees orbiting above the planet the moon-sized giant floating head of Mary Worth. Fade to black.

  66. Amanda Kate
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Is Mr DeGroot going senile? There’s a fire right there! WTF?

  67. Red Greenback
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MW:

    “I’m peiring! I’m piering! I pier! I’m a pieror! I pier!”

  68. seismic-2
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    OK, how about Some Like It Hot?
    Jim (ripping off his prosthetic arm): “I’m a domineering, paranoid, necrophiliac, incestuous, amputee, control freak!”
    Dawn (shrugging): “Well, nobody’s perfect!”

  69. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#47):
    Yay! Carrion plants!
    I listened to some info about what I think is called the Hagfish the other day on CBC Radio One – now THAT sounds like a true freak of nature.

    In the meantime, I give you this lovely clip (SFW)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rynvewVe21Y

    I didn’t see it, but My Mom said “Day of the Dolphin” was beautiful – I think she cried at the end.

  70. Joshua
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I like Surrealistic Heathcliff. Even in Surrealistic color mode, you can still recognize Heathcliff, you see that he gets into a fight with another cat, and he wins the fight. There are strips that get printed properly which make less sense to me than that.

  71. Joshua
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Amanda Kate (#66): No, the fire on the left is just part of Nancy’s thought balloon.

  72. Ukulele Ike
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#69): Well, I don’t know much about carrion plants, but I like carrion luggage.

  73. Droopy Says
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    I looked at the boxes in Luann, read the labels, and for a moment thought I understood this strip. Then I realized it meant “Miscellaneous Balls,” not “Missing Balls.”

  74. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

  75. Uncle Lumpy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Salieri burned a crucifix because he couldn’t match Laudate Dominum. Frank burns an entire Nativity Scene because he couldn’t stand Hey, Boy.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#72): No, as we discussed before, the earlier Carrion movies were better. Carrion Sergeant and Carrion Nurse were far better than, say, Carrion Cowboy. (Though Sidney James was superb in the role of the Rumpo Kid, in Cowboy).

  77. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

  78. Red Greenback
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#77): Hey Carrion. What’s your “game” now, can anybody play?

  79. This Guy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    reC&H: In its time, this strip was a good example of how Watterson’s dinosaur art evolved to keep up with paleontological research (as much of it filtered down to a cartoonist, anyway.) Now we know those Deinonychus should have feathers. Science marches on…

    GA: Tonight, on Old Ole & Lena Jokes Theater

    H&J: Now he’s all coy about his problems? Mr. “Oh, Woe”?

    Pluggers: Pluggers know the water in the squeegee bucket is dirtier than their windshield because they shit in the squeegee bucket. They’re not gonna go in some terrible gas station bathroom.

    SF: Mother. Fucking. Win.

  80. Foobar
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    “Amazingly beautiful”? You’re like a more insufferable version of that weird kid from American Beauty who films plastic bags.

  81. This Guy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#78): Hey, keep calm and carrion.

  82. Red Greenback
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#81): My carrion won’t fit in the overhead bin.

  83. bbofun
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    I have a feeling the end of this MW story will be Wilbur saying “Forget it, Dawn- it’s Santa Royale” as the crane shot pulls back and a lonely saxophone plays.

    ASM- Obviously, someone’s been paying attention to the Judge Parker/Rex Morgan numbers, and decided what was missing in spider-man was cleavage. just happy they remembered they had MJ available, instead of making Peter wear a low-cut shirt.

    Speaking of which-

    JP- Sam will call her in the morning? So, that’s, what, 4 months from now? (Ah, Peaches- you will be missed…)

    RMMD- Look at June in panel 5- she knows that Honey could do a naked lap-dance for Rex and it wouldn’t affect him in the least.

    Y’know, I can’t help but think that having Honey and Ginger bouncing around can’t really be helping the attitude of a woman with breast cancer. (On the other hand, it’s doing me a world of good!)

    DT- I love this strip. Honestly. those last two panels are textbook good writing.

    SF- WE’VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!

    Cranky- What in holy hell does this mean? I don’t think Crankshaft’s the one going senile.

    9CL- Um… what?

  84. Baka Gaijin
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Harold (#50): If only it would happen like this. It would be a Christmas Miracle.

    @seismic-2 (#65): That’s a rather disturbing vision. Accurate but disturbing nonetheless.

    @Calico (#69): The previous two comments are about Mary Worth and you talk about Hagfish. Hmm. Free association maybe?

    @This Guy (#79) on Pluggers: So that explains the filthy squeegee water. Yuck.

  85. Baka Gaijin
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Slylock, I thought the lack of urine and/or poo stink would have been the giveaway of a robot.

  86. bbofun
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Foobar (#80): Ah, isn’t it cute? It’s a li’l’ troll! Howdy, li’l’ troll! Welcome! If you try, and are respectful to others, you could have a lot of fun here! If not, of course, you’ll have the life force sucked right out of you. Your choice!

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “Go ahead, make my day.”

    “If you want me just whistle. You know how to whistle don’t you? Just put your lips together and blow.”

  88. commodorejohn
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Today is the day where Heathcliff honors all the color monkeys’ hard work work something.

  89. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @tHE real mARK tRAIL (#47): ooooh…I’m already counting the Sundays ’til then! Keep up the fabuloso work!

  90. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#27): “This is February, Spats!”
    “It will be cold… I’ll have to wear my woolens.”
    “Go on. Pull my finger.”
    “That Boss Hijack’s got so-o-ome temper!”
    “Not my planet, Monkey Boy!”

  91. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    3G[insert all my Apartment 3-G comments from this week here, in order]

    Smirky – Crazy’s delusional enough to think he can get money for those books. Let us tiptoe quietly away and let him dream a while.

    ValiantFoxy Lady! [*]

    Sally – Ah, it’s Turkey Day again!

  92. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Slylock sees that fixed grin and realizes that any human being who smiled that much would have debilitating cramps in 17 facial muscles. [*]

    Candorville – “Clarionet [n] – An instrument of torture played by a man with cotton in his ears. There are two things worse than a clarionet: two clarionets.” —Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

    Cul – In fact, I just hurt myself laughing at this.

    Day by Day – I like the art today. No outlines. Not to be confused with Heathcliff.

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Fred – Very, very, very meta today. “The initial excitement soon wears off… …then tedium sets in… …quickly followed by complete and utter boredom! The monotony of it all… ZZZZZZZ.”

    Luann – Luann’s mom wants to have a black Christmas tree this year, or perhaps just a simple exploding tree.

    Mary – Well, that explains it. Jim was getting his head put onto a body with two arms.

  94. Uncle Lumpy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Passing observations on the Sunday Phantom:

    1) Carrying on the weird synthetic racial politics of this strip, the militarist state “Rhodia”, like the old “Rhodesia”, is named after the old colonialist Cecil Rhodes.

    2) Diana is rocking Guran’s earrings. Good to see her hair back.

    3) Hey, dammit — Savarna has a family, in New York. Why not bury her there, instead of some place where the Bandar will kill you for just showing up?

    4) Savarna just stone-cold shot or blew up anybody who looked like a pirate. But since murder is worse than piracy, the Phantom will escalate by taking prisoners WTF? Why not just admit you’re following the 21-generations-old “Ooh, ooh, killing is nasty and the Comics Code people will get all huffy!” Phantom Oath.

    5) Hey, the image on the TV is distorted when viewed from the side! Not the correct distortion, but good on you, artist!

    6) Comedy “Rule of 3″ is in effect!

    7) Guran: “Not only are they vicious murderers, but their politics is wrong!”

    8) “Criminally” responsible? You’re a lawyer now? You and Savarna didn’t free Diana by filing an injunction, buddy!

    I loves me some Phantom, but if Savarna is really dead ol’ Stripey’s better promote Hawa and Kay tout de frickin’ suite. Note: SAVARNA MUST NOT BE DEAD!!!1Eleven!!

  95. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#93): I’ve been skipping the Sunday Phantom, and now I’m really POed to hear that Savarna’s dead! sucks

  96. aravind
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    If you’ll allow me to put on my serious art critic hat and grow out a goatee…

    It’s interesting that Heathcliff has taken the radical artistic step of leaving out all of its black ink only a few weeks after Obama’s historical reelection. That’s not a surprising choice from a cartoon that still reads like it was set in the fifties. What better way to capture the essence of the supposedly “real” America: with canvas left largely white and consequently incredibly inscrutable, but in a seemingly non-threatening way.

    At least it’s more aesthetically pleasant than that one Mallard comic.

  97. Mr. Mxyzptlk
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Amanda Kate (#66): That’s Mrs. DeGroot’s thought balloon!

  98. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#65): BWAHA *head asplodes*

  99. Amateur
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): She’s my sister, she’s my daughter, my sister, my daughter . . .

  100. seismic-2
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    SFx: If Count Weirdly’s lifelike robots are such good replicas, then wouldn’t arresting them be just as important as arresting Weirdly himself? So, well done, Deputy Duck!

    And Slylock – you’d better stay clear of Lockbramble Inn, if you know what’s good for you. Just sayin’.

  101. Downpuppy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Is Count Weirdly human? A green skinned ghoul – or whatever he is – growing a beard just seems wrong. Horribly, hideously, strikes at the core of the mythology wrong.

  102. Shrug, Contemplating Rum, Sodium, and the Lash
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#y128):

    “Speak for yourself. Amphetamines have nowhere the number of calories as peanuts.”

    Since I’m supposed to watch my salt intake, I’ve been buying only unsalted peanuts for the last few years. It didn’t occur to me to check with my pushers to see if they also carry an unsalted amphetamines option.

    // Makes note to self.

  103. Inkwell
    December 2nd, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: I always assumed Weirdly, mad scientist that he is, used some horrifying suction cup device to permanently strip his face of hair. We’ve seen his castle, after all, and I highly doubt it has running water. He’s just as likely to get a good shave in a cave as he is at home.

  104. Calico
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#4):
    The Kitty Korner is rather Zen that way, don’t you think?

    (So funny-we have 3 cats and last night I made a trad T-Giving dinner for 7 people and 3 cats. The young Tortie was the Belle of the Ball, very entertaining and cute while not being a pain in the ass.)

  105. Sgt. Stoned
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#1): MW: Maybe Jim is wearing a prosthetic device. I don’t mean just the arm. ‘ We’ve got the technology. We can put him back together. Better than he was. Better. Faster. Stronger.”

  106. Shrug, Equivocating About Eponyms
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#93):

    “Carrying on the weird synthetic racial politics of this strip, the militarist state “Rhodia”, like the old “Rhodesia”, is named after the old colonialist Cecil Rhodes.”

    When the Marvel comics BLACK PANTHER needed an all-purpose fake white supremicist military state neighbor to Wakanda, it was given the name “Rudyardia.” As a Kipling fan, I thought that was remarkably offensive (and inaccurate in its implications). At least with “Rhodia” there’s a real-world precedent in “Rhodesia,” so it’s not like breaking out a brand new insult.

  107. Baka Gaijin
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Contemplating Rum, Sodium, and the Lash (#101): The CC is not just about comics, grammar, and slide rules. It’s also about medical advice worthy of Rex Morgan, M.D.

    @Sgt. Stoned (#104): Yeah, like I said the other night, why do I read comments this close to bedtime?

    @Shrug, Equivocating About Eponyms (#105): Wait, wait, wait. “Rhodia” was named after Rhoda Morgenstern, Mary Richards’ best friend. I don’t know who this Cecil Rhodes is.

  108. Zerowolf
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

  109. Walker of Dog
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#30): Please rethink your plot proposal. While Ms. Moy will surely thank you for providing enough storyline to get her through next Memorial Day, Mary will strangle you in your sleep for downgrading her to a supporting character in her own strip.
    “Nobody Barney Googles ME!”

    @Sgt. Stoned (#104): For starters, he’s talking to Dawn, so we know the smile is artificial.

  110. Sequitur
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#106): Cecil Rhodes are the first and last names of Cecil from “Beanie and Cecil.” He has a middle name too. His full name is Cecil Goindownda Rhodes.

  111. UncleJeff
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Hi, ‘mudgeons. I need some tech help.
    I installed a new Norton anti-virus system the other day and now, I can’t get the Comics Kingdom-delivered strips like JP and RMMD.
    I’ve contacted CK’s tech help department but haven’t heard anything from them.
    Any theories?

  112. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): I have to say I’m mildly baffled too. I mean, I get that the “joke” is that ballet dancers can’t do anything athletic without being all dancer-y about it, but I don’t see what that has to do with the “spirit of Frisbee.” What would that spirit be? Most of the people I know who play it are perfectly fine about leaping up in the air to snag one (and think of all the Frisbee-catching dogs!). So how is this “anti-Frisbee”? Does McE think that Frisbee is about sitting on a lump on the ground and half-heartedly attempting to toss a plastic disc in the direction of some other poor schmoe, or what?

  113. Cloudbuster
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “Get your paws off me, you damn, dirty apes!”

  114. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#110): Maybe it purged your cookies?

  115. Cloudbuster
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    JP: I don’t think Randy really understands the whole “eloping” thing.

  116. Cloudbuster
    December 2nd, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#111): According to my dog, the spirit of Frisbee requires you to catch it in your mouth and run it back to the thrower.

  117. Sequitur
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: Do you think this Jim/pier thing is like a Br’er Rabbit/briar patch thing?

  118. agony
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @K. Ivan Ruppert (#14):

    I live in rural Alberta, and little kids here play cowboys all the time. .Not fighting Indians and bad guys, though, but riding rodeo and being in country music videos.

  119. Walker of Dog
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    JP: I’ve missed a few days – Sam owns the jet now, right?

    MT: Dogs are one of the smarter non-human species? Dolphins are the smartest cetaceans? Why the need to rank everyone’s intelligence, Mark? Did you try the crossword again?

    MW: Say what you will about Dawn, but she plucked that daisy out of her own thought bubble AND tossed the hell out of it.

    Plug: Well, duh. Gas stations buy that nasty squeegee water from a special distributor, so Pluggers don’t lap it all up.

    A3G: You can tell that Evan is sincerely sorry – in the fifth panel he makes the standard Sad-Puppy Forehead Wrinkle. During the ensuing hate sex, Margo will jab an empty syringe into that exact spot and inflate the wrinkle away, while whispering in his ear “Now let’s make you PERFECT.”

    S-M: Peter’s making eye-contact with us and he looks pissed. Josh, I think your blog has a new lurker.

  120. J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ringo Beaumont III (#3): Beautiful. It’s about time Jim realized that the problems of three little hands don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

  121. Droopy Says
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):1: “Good evening . . . I bid you velcome . . . ”
    2: “It’s alive, it’s alive! In the name of God, now I know what it feels like to be god!”
    3: “Nuts!”
    4: “I know I’ve made some poor decisions lately . . .”
    5: “What hump?”
    6: “Nobody’s perfect!”
    7: *
    8: “Yo, Oedipus! What’s up, motherfucker?”
    9: “Takes me for a nincompoop, that necrophile!”
    10: “TO ZEEE LUMBERYARD!”

    * So I like silent movies. So sue me.

  122. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    MW-Goodbye, Jim. You were a good friend. It’s a shame I had to kill you and dump your body at sea but you rejected my friendship.

    MW 2-”This gray old woman came to me with a slightly used arm and told me to get my shit together because she was tired of hearing your sob stories.”

    A3G-Damn it, Margo. You’re supposed to be a publicist this storyline not a clingy jealous girlfriend.

  123. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-I’m not too surprised by Honey. Jesus was considered a miracle worker and he had a former whore following him around so why shouldn’t Rex have a former stripper.

  124. Peanut Gallery
    December 2nd, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):
    - “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
    - “Oh, don’t cry! You’ll rust so dreadfully. Here’s your oil can.”

  125. Peanut Gallery
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#54): Count Weirdly shaves all the Count Weirdlys, and only the Count Weirdlys, that do not shave themselves.

  126. Uncle Lumpy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#102):

    … some horrifying suction-cup device to permanently strip his face of hair.

    Or maybe (shudder) this.

  127. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#114): That’s a really good point. Just go to the courthouse, already.

  128. igm
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Soylent Green is People!
    Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!

  129. igm
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    She’s my sister AND she’s my daughter!

    Oh my god, that one is creepy.

    Sometimes I scare myself.

  130. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#124): Minced oath! I think you’ve got it, man!

  131. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    MW I’m not sure I buy this seeming transition in Jim. I think he is going to kidnap Dawn and forcibly take her to the Good Eats Diner. A savvy waitress will recognize that Dawn is in danger and offer Rainbow Swirl ice cream to stall while she calls Mary Worth. Dawn will use her superior texting technique to try to alert her father and Mary, but without success because they are technophobes, and can only receive telephone calls between 1 pm and 5 pm. Dawn then realizes she is on her own and must rely on her unique set of skills to save herself. Using what she learned in Psych 101 from her professor, Dr. Warren Argyle, Dawn will lure Jim back to the pier by convincing him he will never be free from his nightmare existence until he reenacts the tragic death of his sister Merry. At the pier, Dawn will send up a signal kite fashioned from a paper napkin and two straws gathered at the diner. She’ll jump in the water and lure Jim in after to rescue her, knowing that she can use her superior swimming abilities to make it safely to shore, while Jim will only be able to swim in circles. Jim is sent to live out his days in a psychiatric hospital, and Dawn follows her father as a feature writer with her own series, “I can’t believe I’m alive, either.”

  132. Poteet
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#111): Thank you for putting it so well. “The spirit of the frisbee,” wha?? ? And if Brooke was just looking for some excuse to draw Edda and Seth doing modified splits in midair, surely there were other options.

  133. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Since I’m late to the party some of these might have been mentioned.

    MW-”I knew it was you all along. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.”

    MW 2-”Say hello to my little friend.”

    MW 3-While in the bedroom, “The Force is strong in this one.”

    MW 4-It’s in the hole.

  134. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#130):

    We are going to be treated to several weeks of flashback where Jim tells Dawn all about this visit he got from Mary Worth.

  135. Chip Whittle
    December 2nd, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Tarzan shuts down a “heavy metal style” rock band that sings “Wo-wo-whoah-ohh”? ‘Zan, you dip, you’re messing with Paul McCartney.

  136. Mibbitmaker
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oh, Lord, this sickening situation is back! This storyline is just destined to be a cross between Oedipus and Vertigo!

    Marmaduke….. he’s just being a first class jerk! Don’t let Marm play in any reindeer games.

    Luann: There really isn’t a true “War on Christmas” so much as there’s a number of politically correct stupidities for everyone to wring their hands about. However, Mr. DeGroot is bound and determined to make it happen. Dammit, he thinks to himself, there’s damn well GOING TO BE a War on Christmas — and I’m going to wage it! He continues about how he’s not above sacrilege in the process (one of the boxes ready to burn is labeled “nativity” after all, and he knows it!). Scrooge? The Grinch?! HAH! Pikers, he continues, just pansies who wuss out in the end! He continues aloud, “I live with this family! And THEIR messed-up friends! I’ve been forged into what I am now. I cannot be defeated! And if I can persuade the miserable likes of Les Moore and any of those furshlugginer Burbers to join me in murdering Christmas, nothing can stop me! NOTHING!”

  137. Anonymous
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    H-Cliff: Saw the finished product. The upshot is that Heathcliff sympathizes with some dogs over the cats who push them around. Or that feline-on-canine sadism is his thing and he doesn’t appreciate biters.

    MW: Hey, that looks like Jim. Only he’s got two arms and he’s not a psychopath.

    WofI: What does an autocratic ruler care about the jobs report? Just do what his kind have always done about unemployment and send the excess workers off to war.

    FW: From firsthand experience I can tell you that selling books—unless you’ve got some bona fide rarities—will only bring you a pittance. Harry would be better off enjoying his USPS severance pay and filling out the application for his inevitable gig as a Montoni’s busboy.

    SFx: Sweet. All Count Weirdly had to do was bring a battery powered razor into the cave, slip Slylock a fifty to make up a nutty cover story, and he’s scot free.

    MW: Hey, that looks like Jim. Only he’s got two arms and he’s not a psychopath.

    Dogs of C-Kennel: Sorry dog groomers. Whatever Prozac does for you, it doesn’t fill you with overwhelming ecstasy. Keep shopping.

    S- M: Don’t look now, Peter, but Kraven seems to have sent his chimps to your room to steal your nipples.

    Garfield: If your household pets take things they don’t approve of and shove them up your ass, you should probably find a support group.

    H&L: No one else in the family pays attention to Trixie, and it’s not even clear that they live in the same house at this point. Luckily she’s self-sufficient enough to find John Denver YouTube clips, so maybe she can feed herself too.

    RMMD: Honey was a little too quick on that denial. So Delores is onto something and she’s got a crush on Rex. The poor, poor girl.

    Shoe: Seven years of bad nuts? Someone needs to see a urologist.

    S4th: I have a hard time believing that Hil wouldn’t at least have grown up with the DVDs in the house.

    Baldo: “Ah well, what are you gonna do. I’m sure it’s not a fire hazard or anything.”

  138. Curm
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): What’s in the baawwks?…WHAT’S IN THE FUCKIN’ BAWKS?!

  139. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#136): What. The. Fuck.

    I never authorized the dumping of all my cookies and sign-in info, but it happened anyway. Anyhow, that snark is all mine. For better or worse.

  140. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#134): Sonic Assault don’t know who their messing with, but I’m pretty sure it’s Jack Lord in torn Speedos.

  141. tallyHO
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#16):

    So, I missed the nuance.

    At this point in the (slow as molasses) storyline, it is gonna be hours before it is revealed that Jim has a hidden baseball bat attached to his left side.

    Run, Dawn Dream-Daisyplucker, Run!

  142. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#75): I can relate.

  143. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, a comment of mine is lodged in the spam trap and Josh seems to be otherwise engaged. Can you get it out please?

  144. Uncle Lumpy
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

  145. I speak Jive
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):
    “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
    “Goodness, what knockers.”
    “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

  146. Walker of Dog
    December 2nd, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#5): Marmaduke would be much easier to follow if they included the death toll.

  147. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#134):

    We are going to be treated to several weeks of flashback where Jim tells Dawn all about this visit he got from Mary Worth.

    Like the Ghost of Gloominess Past?

  148. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

  149. BacchusBoomerang
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Mr. DeGroot hung his wild years on the nail he drove through his wife’s forehead. . .

  150. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#144): Thanks, man!

  151. Harold
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): “I blame…society.”
    “It was the salmon mousse!”
    “The FLOWERS are STILL STANDING!”
    “It’s a madhouse! A MADHOUSE!!!”
    “We have such sights to show you.”
    “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

  152. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Had no time to snark today, but here’s a technical discussion of how color separation is done for the Sunday funnies these days. I think it’s pretty interesting, but then, I’m a dweeb.

  153. Steve
    December 2nd, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): “Yippie-ki-yay, Mary’s neighbor.”

  154. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “I was born a poor black child.”
    “It’s good to be the king.”
    “The Dude abides.”

  155. Red Greenback
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    -”Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

    -”YOU’RE out of order! YOU’RE out of order! THE WHOLE TRIAL IS OUT OF ORDER!!”

    -”You tell your guys in Miami. Your friends. It’d be a pleasure. I kill communist for fun. But for a green card, I gonna carve him up real nice.”

  156. Sequitur
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): “I knew I shouldda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.”

  157. DariaFoxendorffer
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    If you haven’t seen “Boardwalk Empire”‘s finale, you won’t believe who makes an appearance (hint: he was AWOL from his strip for 5000+ days).

  158. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @BacchusBoomerang (#149): Waits reference FTW.

  159. Liam
    December 2nd, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “I’m not even supposed to be here today.”
    “I just wanted to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.”

    MW-I hope Jim is looking at her. Last time we saw him he was missing an arm and not his eyes.

  160. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):
    “God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see.”
    “Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I have ever known in my life.”
    “They’re totally crazy, irrational and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.”
    “Say what again motherfucker! I dare you! I double-dare you! Say what one more goddamn time!”

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @DariaFoxendorffer (#157):

    You mean the scene where Gyp sings “Barney Google”?

  162. bats :[
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

  163. Gal Friday
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “The Germans wore grey, you wore this kind of sickly magenta . . . “

  164. DariaFoxendorffer
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Rocky Stoneaxe (#161): That’s the one! If the writers troll here, let’s hope they don’t take a cue from Batiuk and have Dead Gyp louse up the show.

  165. DariaFoxendorffer
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#161): That’s the one! If the writers troll here, let’s hope they don’t take a cue from Batiuk and have Dead Gyp louse up the show.

  166. Gal Friday
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

    “Bond, James Bond.”

    “Oh, behave!”

  167. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    (Oversnarpologies: I’ve been buried under freshman prose all weekend, and I’ve not read any comments except queek’s usually fabulous Satursquee.)

    MW: Only one thing can redeem this story: Jim’s chipper affect and unfolded sleeve indicate that he now has a prosthetic arm and can therefore fling Dawn over the edge of the pier and to her death.

  168. northernlurker
    December 2nd, 2012 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    1.Listen to the music of the children of the night. How sweet they sound.”
    2. The Hills are alive to the sound of music.
    3. Soylent Green is people.

  169. seismic-2
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    “Dawn, why can’t we be more than just friends? It’s because of my arm, isn’t it? I want the truth!!!”
    “You can’t handle the truth! Of course, you can’t handle much of anything else either, you know, on account of your arm.”

  170. Amateur
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    MW: Well, there’s the arm. I suppose it’s a prosthetic one — but how awesome would it be if Giella just happened to forget that Jim was missing an arm?

  171. bats :[
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15): My late (paraphrased) entry in “Insert Better Movie Quote Here.”

    I hadn’t seen “Casablanca” until a year or so ago. I’d recommend it, but then, I also get annoyed and stubborn if somebody just goes on and on about how dare I’ve missed such a classic yadda yadda…

  172. seismic-2
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    For the Mary Worth holiday special Jim was going to go down to the pier and drown himself, but then he remembered that every time a bell rings, a paranoid domineering incestuous necrophiliac amputee gets his arm. It’s a brutal-ful life.

  173. Droopy Says
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Hurry up wih MJ’s shocked look, because she may have forgoten that Kraven is a criminal who is undoubtedly planning a crime.

    Jugs Parker: Oh, come on, Horny, when was the last time anyone in this strip objected to wasting a fortune on trivia? You know damned well that when they start throwing rice at the wedding, it will turn out to be a GMO that will make you rich and famous by ending the famine in Rhodia.

    Phantom: Good move, Ghost-Who-Scampers. You outweigh the lionness, so when the branch breaks, you’ll fall to the ground and break several bones, making it easier for her to feast on your marrow. We cat lovers admire your dedication to feeding our fluffy friends!

    Mock Trail: Will Trail still have lost his fishing rod tomorrow? How will this effect his bet?

    eohS: Mentos and Pepsi? Coming dangerously close to the present, aren’t we?

    Pluggers: Pluggers neglect their personal hygeine until even they find it obnoxious.

    On The Fasttrack: Dethany has seen things decompose faster than a 14.4k modem? Who knew she was a Jugs Parker fan?

    Flatulence Alley: Charlotte, who is obviously doomed to marry Booger in another dozen years, has just realized why he never joined the rocket science club.

  174. Victory Garden
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    Have you ever heard of earbuds, Luann? And ball gags? oh wait.

  175. tallyHO
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    @Amateur (#170):

    I know they only give the strip two panels. You’d think that in one of those two panels the “surprise” of Jim being shown with two arms would be communicated by Dawn.
    But, apparently, this surprise which is sprung on the reader is worth teasing out until Tuesday. That’s when the reader will discover if Dawn realizes he has two arms or if the artist realizes he only has one arm.

    Bravo!

    Apt. 3G Yes. What is so special about Margo Magee?
    Maybe it is the way a photo of her appears in Greg’s apartment. Maybe it the the reflection of that photo in the shot glass he ignores as he takes a pee into the fireplace. What is it about her that makes a man’s mind wander like that? And, what makes her so special that a larger, probably not a rival, agency wants to squash her just as she’s starting up?

    Hmmmm…say! What’s that over there? Why is it a squirrel, with Ziggnuts in its …..ew!

  176. tallyHO
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    marktrail
    Super Friends Narrator:

    Even though Land Aquaman is in unfamilar waters, he still has his telepathic powers. Using them, he tells a nearby water bird to jump up from its haunches and to launch and attack on Otto.

    Meanwhile….

  177. tallyHO
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    Super Friends Narrator:

    Meanwhile, across town, Slylock Fox and Maxwell Mousington have just arrived from failing to capture the Real Count Weirdly. Another case awaits them:

    The Deep Mystery of the Missing Snow Shovel!

    Mawell’s mouse hands are too cold in this rapidly changing climate of Nightmare Valley. So, to ensure he doesn’t get hypothermia, he dons a parka. Unfortunately, it means he can’t use his trusty magnifying glass to do some sleuthing.

    However, Slylock Fox is always in his element. Once again, he goes without shoes. But even this bitterly cold climate is too much for his handpaws, so this time, he wears gloves!

    Meanwhile….

  178. tallyHO
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#161):

    WT Double F?

    He’s back in Snuffmeister Smif’s strip, too!

    Was this a well-oiled, cross media extravaganza coordinated by the ne’er-do-wells at King Features Syndicate…which worked with a show about bootleggers? (am I right about that? it is a show about bootleggers, right?)

    I’d exclaim: shoot my grits and griddle me up some possum then pour me a shot of that rye, then some whiskey then some hooch, then some white lightenin’ then…go gets me a pillow, oh prodigal pal!

    I’d exclaim that but I won’t. (it is likely too late for anyone to read this as Monday is here for some and almost here for others).

  179. tallyHO
    December 3rd, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#178):

    Maybe that should be WTFF?

  180. Elk Meadow
    December 3rd, 2012 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    @aravind (#96):

    ehT kcuD!

  181. Elk Meadow
    December 3rd, 2012 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):

    I’ve seen the rains down in Africa….

    Oh, wait, that’s not TOTO! TOTO! TOTO! you typed.

    Never mind….

  182. seismic-2
    December 3rd, 2012 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    MT: Tomorrow, in another vicious attempt to murder his hostage, ruthless homicidal kidnapper Otto will take Mark to a restaurant for a particularly bad bowl full of Rainbow Swirl ice cream.

  183. This Guy
    December 3rd, 2012 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#15):
    “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”

    “This piece is called ‘Lick My Love Pump.’”

    “He say you brade runner!”

  184. commodorejohn
    December 3rd, 2012 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    Apropos of absolutely nothing, this took shape inside my brain this evening and wouldn’t go away until I’d gotten it down. I therefore present it for your perusal. Read in your best Johnny Cash imitation.

    Well, I guess y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’.
    Know what the psychiatrist diagnosed me with.
    Well, I’m here tonight t’tell ya the true story.
    An’ on account o’ reasons that will become clear in the course ‘f it,
    I gotta do it in the good ol’ talkin’-blues style,
    Which requires me, by regulation, to call this number
    THE NIGHT THE ALIENS ABDUCTED BOBBY ZAWINSKI.

    Thank you.

    Her name was Lou ‘n her eyes were blue;
    her roots were black ‘n she stood six foot two
    Well, I took one look at ‘er ‘n then I knew
    She was gonna be a peck o’ trouble.

    Well, Lou looked at me with that look ya can’t read
    But it means yer gonna wake up in a truck stop in need
    of a shower an’ a shave an’ a paper to read
    ‘Bout whatever went down last night.

    Well, I’m a moral man, an’ I started ta pray,
    an’ I started lookin’ ’round fer a way ta get away,
    A’fore this brazen temptress started puttin’ on display
    Whate’er she’da got in the way o’ wiles.

    But much to my surprise, it wasn’t like that at all,
    Lou just stood ‘n stared at me an’ I watched her cigar fall
    to the floor where she smushed it ‘neath the callous-ed ball
    O’ her mighty left foot – bare, it was!

    An’ Lou stared on, ‘n I turned to look behind,
    An’ a bright white light flared up ‘bove th’ burnt-out sign
    Of the Circle K, jus’ across the old Soo Line
    from the laundromat we was standin’ in the whole time!

    Well, we knew right then ’twas a ship from outer space,
    come to steal the kids ‘n kill the cows ‘n liven up the place,
    An’ the look that I’d seen on Ms. Lou’s face
    didn’t mean a dang thing – hey, I said ya couldn’t read it!

    Well, the spaceship flashed ‘n it made a “Pac-Man” sound,
    An’ Lou looked at me, an’ we both looked around,
    An’ we knew that waitin’ out there on the ground
    Was a welcomin’ committee o’ who-knows-whats!

    An’ it made the sound again, an’ we found we was behooved
    To the ladder detachin’ from a prev’sly-hidden groove
    In the belly o’ the beast, so we got on a move,
    An’ I *knew* I wasn’t gonna get my laundry back.

    Well, all’s I could think ’bout was that kid from “Jaws”
    who worked fer th’ power company ‘n wound up in the claws
    O’ some big-head baby alien things with cripplin’ flaws
    Like only talkin’ in music – g’luck with that!

    But the folks that came to greet us was as happy as could be;
    Kinda some sorta Oriental kids, ‘least they looked like that t’ me,
    ‘Cept for the space pajamas an’ the double-jointed knee
    ‘n the total lack o’ human facial features!

    No, on second thought, they wasn’t like that a bit;
    they just got some kinda disguise thing that made that look like it,
    Or they matched some patterns in m’brain that Orientals seemed t’ fit,
    Or heck if I know! I’ll draw ya a picture after!

    Well, whatever they was they was hospitable as folks
    And Lou ‘n me were talkin’ to ‘em ‘n we all was crackin’ jokes
    ’bout the weather an’ the country an’ the Venusian Artichokes
    ‘tho they kinda dominated the conversation.

    But they told us they’d come down to Earth to show us all the Light,
    An’ not the one that lit this empty parkin’ lot at night,
    But the cosmic hocus-pocus that would lead us all to right,
    ‘n usher in a new age of peace ‘n love an’ all that stuff.

    Well, they took us both aboard ‘n they struck up a little song
    An’ it sounded like a choir, ‘n it sounded like a gong
    An’ it kinked m’consciousness back aright where it’d prev’sly been wrong
    ‘n as near’s I can r’member it went somethin’ like this.

    AIY~ADA, AIY~ADA, DEKE DEKE AIY~AIY~DEKE
    YA-CHADA YA-CHADA ADELAI ADELAI
    NA NA NA~ NA NA~ ADELAI~AIY~ADA!

    Well, it sounds kinda silly when I sing it, y’know?

    An’ the music that they sang us kinda overwhelmed m’brain,
    ‘n it felt to me like I was likely gonna go insane;
    Kinda doomed to spend m’life locked up ‘n starin’ at the rain
    From a rubber-padded room in Wauwatosa!

    Well, m’consciousness was engulfed, an’ the next thing that I knew,
    I was lyin’ in a truck stop with a memory of Lou
    With an expression on her face like she was turnin’ twenty-two
    Which was a good thing for her, ’cause she was fifty.

    Well, I had a shower, had a shave, an’ read the local rag,
    ‘Bout some late-night myst’ry aircraft that’d gone out on a jag
    And’d knocked down thirteen phone poles and’d made a heifer gag
    At the Johnson dairy out past Weyauwega!

    But the worst part of it all is that I got that stupid song
    With its hippy-dippy music ‘n its goin’ on too long
    An’ its consciousness-expansion kinda scriven really strong
    Into m’brain, ‘n there it does remain!

    An’ now it plays inside my head on unending repeat,
    ‘n it makes me see the cosmic oneness that really ain’t that neat
    All caught in th’ Universal Dance, ‘n it makes me tap m’feet,
    An’ that’s just inconvenient, in most comp’ny!

    An’ now I’m hounded by the sorts who read about this stuff,
    All comin’ t’ seek m’wisdom, an’ they just can’t get enough
    An’ they talk o’ music of the spheres, an’ it’s gettin’ awful rough
    Jus’ tryin’ to handle all these gol-dang pilgrims!

    So now I chase it out with the good ol’ talkin’ blues,
    An’ that sets m’mind to rest again fer another day or two,
    ‘n I never did find out what ever happened to Ms. Lou,
    An’ I never got my laundry back, neither!

    So the moral o’ this story, ‘n you can take it straight from me:
    If ya ever see a spaceship, you jus’ let them aliens be,
    ‘Less you wanna go around ‘n be a walkin’ human key
    t’ some sacred secret myst’ry – just forget it!

  185. Cloudbuster
    December 3rd, 2012 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    A3G: “What’s so special about Margo Magee?” has to be the ‘Mudgeon straight line of the week.

  186. Cloudbuster
    December 3rd, 2012 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    FW: I had this theory that Batiuk’s life has revolved around these characters so long and so intimately that they are like family members to him; he empathizes with them regardless of their behavior. He had simply forgotten that he needs to periodically give the readers some actual reason to empathize with them. But then I read the horrible malapropisms and I realize that this can only be the work of pure evil.

  187. Cloudbuster
    December 3rd, 2012 at 4:56 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#127): Exactly.

    e·lope
    [ih-lohp]
    verb (used without object), e·loped, e·lop·ing.
    1. to run off secretly to be married, usually without the consent or knowledge of one’s parents.
    2. to run away with a lover.
    3. to leave without permission or notification; escape.

    The point of eloping is to *avoid* conversations like the one taking place today. You elope to present the marriage as a fait accompli and short circuit all the talk and drama about what kind of wedding you ought to have, or whether you ought to get married at all.

    You don’t go to one of the people most invested in the fancy wedding and tell them “We’re thinking of eloping.” That’s just deliberately creating the drama and stress that eloping is supposed to avoid. It makes the eloping a double slap in the face, because not only did you deprive Dad of the big wedding, you did so after he directly told you how upset he’d be if you eloped. It’s also a slap in the face to April. “You told your dad? What part of ‘eloping’ don’t you understand, Daddy’s boy?”

    What a dick move.

  188. Owen
    December 3rd, 2012 at 6:38 am [Reply]

    Dawn mourns the loss of her friendship with Jim by thought-ballooning the face of an entirely different man, one hitherto unseen in the strip, and presumably one with whom she will be quite happy to be more than ‘just friends’, due to his possession of two fully functioning arms (not shown).

  189. Liam
    December 3rd, 2012 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#171):

    That’s alright. I saw it once and don’t understand the appeal of it.

  190. gleeb
    December 3rd, 2012 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    3-J: Late at night, Greg is still at a bar…wait, that’s his apartment? Is he using a dresser as a “bar”, leaning up against it as he talks himself out of having figured out exactly what Evan is doing?

    Barney Google: I see why he was dropped. He never talks and he’s not as active as Henry.

    ‘bean: Batiuk’s story of Stuff That Doesn’t Happen continues. He’s making the same errors of fact, so there’s nothing new there. But he expects me to find “tinkle-down” a cute name for the failed national economic policies of the past 40 years. If it were original with him, maybe.

    Judge & Ex-Judge: If only you knew someone down at the courthouse, you could pull some strings and get a judge to quietly marry you.

    Mary: Yep, his arm grew back. It must be that, because prosthetic limbs don’t exist in the comix, do they, Batiuk?

    June Morgan, RN: The problem with introducing a character like this is that without significant backstory, it’s too easy for the reader to just wonder why her friends don’t just drop her like a snide potato.

    Dick: In lieu of advancing the Moon story, allow the writers to prove once again their encyclopedic knowledge of past Dick Tracy stories.

  191. hogenmogen
    December 3rd, 2012 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Brave, brave, brave
    brave Sir Phantom!
    When danger reared its ugly head
    he bravely turned his tail and fled
    Brave, brave, brave
    brave Sir Phantom!

  192. hogenmogen
    December 3rd, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MW: If Jim got a prosthetic arm permanently welded in full-bore pointing mode, it would free up his other hand for more useful stuff. Like masturbation. To pictures of his dead sis.

    On second thought, just point with your flesh hand, Jim. Let the prosthesis hang sullenly at your side.

  193. tb4000
    December 3rd, 2012 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    RMMD: 12/3/12 – Delores is like Cancer Margo. I’m going to start calling her Cancer Margo.

  194. hogenmogen
    December 3rd, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#137): “MW: Hey, that looks like Jim. Only he’s got two arms and he’s not a psychopath.”

    He’s pointing. It’s that intense pointing that gives him away every time. The style, the fervor. He even points in a friendly greeting. No waving “hi”, this man POINTS it. So many comics on the pages, but ask yourself “Who else can point like that?” He can shape-shift like any of them, but he’s got points.

  195. SilverKey
    December 3rd, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#1): The appearance of Dr. “Jim” Connors marked the beginning of a bitchin’ Mary Worth-Spiderman crossover.

  196. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 3rd, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Barney Google & Snuffy Smith: Holy shit. Twice in a single year? Google was last seen Feb. 26, this year, and the last visit was fifteen years earlier.

  197. Kibo
    December 3rd, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    I have harnessed the magical power of color separation to de-blackenize the Comics Curmudgeon logo. Behold an even paler Josh!

    http://www.kibo.com/pickup/comics-curmudgeon-logo-no-black.jpg

  198. Kommisar Keen
    December 3rd, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    In a fair and just world, the only text in this Heathcliff strip would be “SHORYUKEN”

  199. Tea
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Sunday strips are typically delivered and stored in two files– a black lineart file and a color file. The black and white file is saved at a much higher resolution than the color one to produce cleaner, sharper lineart. The files are merged by the printer (or by the digital delivery system). So Heathcliff didn’t get merged properly!

  200. Rich
    December 29th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    I feel sad that I’ve been neglecting the Curmudgeon for so long and missed the comments on this page. But I wanted to toss in my own movie-related quote for MW…

    “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one-armed man.”

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