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Sorry, ladies, he’s unavailable — emotionally, sexually, you name it

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/13/13

I do really wonder at the plot development process that brought us a Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline that includes a sensitive treatment of breast cancer and its medical, economic, and psychological effects on people without health insurance, but also features sexy strippers getting into a cat fight over Rex. Was it conceived of as a single, organic whole, appearing as a creative vision in the writer’s mind? Is it the result of some synthesis, the product of a debate external (e.g., desperate stakeholders with conflicting visions arguing in a boardroom) or internal (e.g., a devil on the writer’s shoulder shouting “STRIPPERS!” and an angel shouting “CANCER!”)? Whatever got us here, it’s pretty great.

Two things in particular I’m fascinated by today are the waistline of BW’s pants, which seems to improbably dip down in the front to better showcase her washboard abs, and her nickname. I guess it’s pronounced “Bee Doubleyou,” but that doesn’t have any fewer syllables and is more awkward to pronounce than “Brenda Woods.” Plus the lack of periods when it’s written out seems a little odd. Is she maybe saying “Bwuh”?

Spider-Man, 1/13/13

“So it’s much more dramatically interesting this way than if he were, say, defeated by a super-hero, right? Everybody likes it better this way, right? So, um, that was my plan all along?”

250 responses to “Sorry, ladies, he’s unavailable — emotionally, sexually, you name it”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    On this day in 1930, the first Mickey Mouse comic strip appears:

    http://ob7.free.fr/mice_and_ducks/tc/mdl/md3001st.gif

  2. lorne
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    -”But Kraven, why didn’t you just not steal the tiara and live in Vegas as a rich famous magician with a hot sexy wife?”
    -”Oh man, that’s way better. I totally should have done that!”

  3. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    It’s hard to believe that’s an actual RMMD strip and not a bats:[ takeoff.

  4. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    BWs pants issue may have to do with searching for parasites, I’m just sayin’.

  5. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (Y#216): I think that Edda is caressing herself, implying that she wants sex with Amos for their “date”. Amos misunderstands, thinking that she wants him to caress himself, but suggests that afterward they “neck” (has anyone used that term more recently than the theatrical release of the movie ‘Grease’?). It is painfully forced, but when you need 25 strips per month about how oversexed Amos and Edda are, you inevitably have a lot of clunkers.

  6. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Nice to see that Kraven and Sherry left room for their guardian angel between them.

  7. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    I wouldn’t mess with BW. She already has dueling scars.

  8. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    FW – Gah! That look on Funky’s face in panel 3! My teenaged stepson has that look all the time, he can literally be leaving to go to the ski resort for the weekend with his friends, but still have that look of absolute dejection. I call it “POW” face, because he looks like a prisoner of war being summoned for his daily ‘interrogation’.

  9. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): On this day in 1931, Charles Nelson Reilly was born.

  10. pugfuggly
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    RM:MD You can tell that Blond Stripper (Her friends call her ‘BS’!) is serious because she scarfed down an entire plate of hors d’oeuvres before confronting ‘BW’. Anyhow, I’m looking forward to the inevitable impromptu mud wrestling match between these two, even if half the panels are going to be dedicated to Rex yawning and checking his watch.

    ASM “AND SO TO JAIL?” asks the text box “ARE WE GOING TO FOLLOW KRAVEN ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE LEGAL SYSTEM? BECAUSE I CHECKED OUT OUT THIS STORY A WEEK AGO..”.

  11. Doodle Bean
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Oh my. The look of horror on Kraven’s face when the woman of his dreams told him she loved him! Thank you so much!

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#9):

    I always confuse Charles Nelson Reilly with poet James Whitcomb Riley.

  13. Doodle Bean
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Lorne and Lynn both win!

  14. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): A common error. Riley had a beard.

  15. Harry F
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    The real Amazing part about the Amazing Spiderman is that Sherri can go from a two piece vegas showgirl outfit to a one piece outfit. Boy, I hope Stan Lee fires his Continuity Director.

  16. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#14): Riley was in the third row on Hollywood Squares. Reilly was in the second row.

  17. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Peter’s cocky body language here really gets on my nerves, considering that Kraven could almost certainly disarm the cop and clobber Spider-Man with minimal effort, if he so chose.

  18. adhesiveslipper
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    I’m just gonna’ go ahead and start calling her “B-Dubs”.

  19. John C Fremont
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – That’s actually not a half bad drawing of a ’67 F100. I’m not sure how to feel about that.

    Ah, good ol’ Charlie Nelson Reilly.

  20. bbofun
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD- *sniff* I- I don’t know what to say- i don’t know what i did to deserve this–but excuse me *daubs eyes* I’m so very, very grateful.

    9CL- I’m trying to figure out why this doesn’t work that well- the joke isn’t really bad- it’s A) the telling of it- Brooke’s so interested in drawing Edda and showing off his dutch angles and, in the last panel, his use of the panel borders as furniture (which, we know from his Pibgorn commentary, he is EXTREMELY pleased with himself about) that he blows the timing- a hard thing to do in a strip; and B) as a reader, the history of the characters and strip brings too much to the table, so, since they are unlikable, a simple joke turns sour. It’s the problem with any episodic, long-run form- you’re stuck with audience expectations.

    A good example of this was the TV series M*A*S*H*- frank Burns was so unlikable (except as a butt monkey), that when they tried to make him more sympathetic (having Hot Lips drop him, for example), it was still hard for the audience to find sympathy for him. The writers, i think, felt that, and he returned to his old character- and Larry Linville, knowing the character was going nowhere, left the show. (Things were more complicated that that, I’m sure- but that was part of it.)

    FW- Pleasehitapatchoficepleasehitapatchoficeohpleaseohpleaseohplease

    DT- Intriguing- BUT WHAT HAPPENED ON THE MOON? (I suspect Staton and Curtis’ publishers don’t like the whole “moon maid story, so it’s going to be delivered in little bites)

    MW- So, what we all hoped would turn into a depiction of jealousy not seen since OTHELLO has turned int to people braking their arms patting themselves on the back about how noble and selfless they are.

    Or, in other words, “Forget it, Jake. It’s Mary Worth.” [CRANE SHOT PULLS BACK AS A LONELY SAXOPHONE WAILS IN THE NIGHT]

  21. bbofun
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Oh, and about Rexy’s Sexys-

    “BW? Looks more like D-Double!”
    “BW? Looks moe like two VWS!”

    Try the veal! And tip your waiters!

  22. Downpuppy
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Rex is turning into a bit of a werewolf in Panel 4. Do strippers really fight over werewolves in bowling shirts?

  23. Horace Broon
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    JP: Is … is Mrs Judge’s face in the final panel meant to look like she’s plotting April’s untimely death in a freak accident? Because it does.

    MW Man, Dr Jeff’s unloading the passive-agressive snark today: “We both have seperate interests – I cured sick children in third world countries until you made me come home and you need to help this guy with his cake or whatever, which I’m totally okay with!”

    Phantom: “Up until 3 seconds ago, I was investigating your death. Now it turns out the crime I’m looking into never happened and I feel like a prize chump. Is this what it’s like to be Spider-Man?”

  24. John C Fremont
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    A3G – When Margo said, “Time for another toast!!” did anyone else throw toast at their screen and shout, “To absent friends?” Yeah, I didn’t think so. I should probably just go back to bed after I read The Phantom.

    Phantom – Rowr, rowr! As Barry Kripke might say, hewwo, Savawna!

  25. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Poorly-written drek involving hot chicks inexplicably lusting after smug jackass in a bowling shirt? Is this Rex Morgan, or Two and a Half Men?

  26. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#25): *a* smug jackass

  27. TheDiva
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    SM: You would think that a guy who watches as much television as Spider-Man would recognize one of the more popular tropes in fiction.

  28. Zerowolf
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I think her name was originally Brenda Jones, but they realized there was no way they were slipping “My friends call me BJ.” past the censors

  29. Zerowolf
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    FW: No, the discomfort zone, the pressure in my chest is increasing. Say why is the maître d’ wearing a mask?

  30. TheDiva
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: These two are engaged, right? So why are they talking and acting like they’ve been dating for a month tops?

    C’shaft: Crankshaft can’t stand any creature in the animal kingdom capable of showing more disdain than him.

    FW: I’m fascinated (and not in a good way) by Les’ leggings and shorts combo. Did Batiuk pull an old drawing of Les running, realize he was inappropriately attired for the season, fill in the legs with black marker and declare “Voila, yoga pants!” before knocking off for an early dinner?

    Luann: And once again, Tiffany is punished for the crime of looking pretty.

    MW: This is going to lead to yet another failed proposal, isn’t it?

    Retail: Okay, the Comic Strip Critic claims this is the best strip of the past year, so I’m giving it a shot. Don’t disappoint me, Feuti.

  31. PriceCheck
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Give it a rest BW…He’s off limits. Only his wife allowed to compliment him and tell him her name and where she lives.”

    S-M: I think Peter is being sarcastic. “Aw, that’s really sweet, isn’t it? Maybe you should cut ‘em a break–NOT.”

  32. Rusty
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    B.W. is dressed like a superhero. Of hotness.

  33. Zerowolf
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#25): Must be RMMD because this smug jackass isn’t interested in hot chicks.

  34. pugfuggly
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#22):

    Note to self: write small film treatment combining werewolves, strippers and bowling.

    Pitch: It’s The Big Lebowski meets Twilight, except instead of chaste vampires its horny werewolves. Also, lots of strippers.

    Possible titles:

    -Faster, she-wolf! Bowl! Bowl!
    -An American Werewolf in Vegas with hot strippers work on it
    -Bowling for Titties under a Full Moon
    -Wolfie Wolfman’s Sweet Aaaaaaaass Strike
    - Howlin’ and Bowlin’ doesn’t actually rhyme….

  35. Spiff Bereft
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    ASM: So if Peter Parker can get himself bitten by a radioactive woman he can go around reforming hardened criminals as the Amazing WomanMan? He’ll find it a lot more competitive but it beats whatever the hell he does now.

  36. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#30): 9CL: These two are engaged, right? So why are they talking and acting like they’ve been dating for a month tops?

    I suspect that none of Brooke’s relationships last longer than that (for obvious reasons), so he doesn’t realize that there comes a point where “instead of going out, let’s just stay home and fuck” starts to lose some of its lustre. This is why his 80YO and 40YO couples also still spend most of their time waking up on the floor in a heap of discarded clothing. They must all have horrible, crippling back pain.

  37. bunivasal
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    As the scantily clad women squared off to fight over him, Rex saw his chance and jumped into action, groping the crotch of the elderly homeless woman whom he’d been eyeing all evening.

  38. Ursula
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    PV: At last Roger the ruinous steward breaks!! I love this strip. Although I kind of miss Aleta.

  39. Downpuppy
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Nice titles. I didn’t get past Harry Baller & the Jug of Fire

  40. Vince M
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): Well, the former wrote “And the goblins’ll get you if you don’t-watch-OUT! Hrr hrr hrrrr!!!
    If you haven’t seen/heard Weird Al Yankovic’s tribute “CNR”, do check it out on YouTube.

  41. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: Never, ever say to your date “Would you like to neck?” Even if people are still saying “neck” these days (They aren’t, are they? I haven’t heard it, but maybe I’m starting to get old and out of touch), it just sounds a lot worse than “Would you like to make out?” or “Would you like to kiss?” or whatever.

    Also, Amos and Edda are both wrapping their arms around themselves. They’re very cold. Are they gonna die of exposure and bring this strip to an end? Please tell me that’s what tomorrow will bring.

    Funky Winkerbean: Haha, it’s funny because normally people say they’re in their comfort zone, but Funky isn’t comfortable because of his prematurely aged, decrepit body and the intense agony caused by physical exertion of any kind!

    Actually no, I take that back, the joke sucks. But Batiuk doesn’t want us to think his strip is funny, he wants us to think it’s deep.

    *rereads*

    Today’s strip sucks at being deep too.

    Judge Parker: “Yes, I AM looking forward to getting to know April better. I’m looking forward to it very much, oh yes…heh heh heh heh….hahahaha….MWAHAHAHAHA!!! What, why are you staring at me like that? I’m just agreeing with you, is all, the way somebody without any kind of evil or murderous intentions toward her would-be daughter-in-law would do.”

    @Horace Broon (#23): Glad I’m not the only one who noticed.

    Pibgorn: How many consecutive days is she just going to lie there with those swords?

    Slylock: They’re all staring at something off-panel and on the opposite side of the room from your blackboard, Fox. You’re boring them! Stop being so boring! BOOOO!

    Spider-Man: That cop in panel five has his gun drawn even though his suspect is already cuffed. The tendency of every criminal he arrests to never make it to the station, to instead be discovered dead in an alley pumped full of police issue ammunition, puzzles his superiors. That puzzle will soon have one more piece.

  42. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I like the foreshadowing in the Rex Morgan throwaway panels: Blonde Slut calls BW “Brenda Woods,” so you know they’re not friends.

  43. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): Honestly, “Would you like to neck?” is way, way more off-putting than a simple “Let’s fuck.”

  44. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#20): Re. Burns, I felt sorry for him after a certain point, but I agree that the problems with the character started around that time. I think that the people involved with the show even said the same thing I’m about to, which is: watching the guy hit rock bottom and slowly come unraveled wasn’t entertaining, it was just sad.

    FW- Pleasehitapatchoficepleasehitapatchoficeohpleaseohpleaseohplease

    Considering which strip this is, there’s a better than 50/50 chance of that. But even if they don’t, we’re at least done with that “Happy Dance” arc.

  45. Oregonian
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Are we supposed to know what Rex was doing on the beach? Or is he just “masterful” everywhere he goes? (“I watched you standing in line at Starbucks this morning, Dr. Morgan! You were masterful!”)

  46. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

  47. Stev0
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    They call her BW because of her Bugs.

  48. Ned Ryerson
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    After dinner at the Bum Boat, Jeff takes Mary home. – Albert Camus

  49. Percival Dunwoody
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    RM: Her name was originally going to be Brenda Johnson (“but my friends all call me BJ”) but the syndicate put a stop to that?

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    got all 4 on Frame Games. *does Go ME! dance*

    dead tree B&C: guest-starring Sequitur.

    dead tree SG: guest-starring Eva Rose.

    rCdS: GWEEP!

    Lio: has the best monsters. *applaz to Mr. Tatulli*

    NAoQV: show of hands, who else started humming The Lumberjack Song?

    PBS: Pastis is off Mallett’s Xmas card list again.

    SBp: ink blotches ftw. (also, Cool World vibe.)

    JP: Katherine wants to get to know April better. iykwim, aittyd.

    Bizarro: “hold my beer and watch this!”

    DT: a rare Sunday sighting of a Mudlark.

    MG&G: goes all Solange today.

    Ghost-who-gets-the-most: HOORAY! (also, yum!)

    RwO features a clown being shot out of a cannon. nsfbg or not?

    SFx: STILL better than Reply All!!!

  51. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Frazz: This is clever. All the ideas that Mallett collected over the last year that weren’t quite good enough gags, by themselves, for a strip of their own. But cumulatively, it works.

    // “American citizens can use the restroom at any public radio station.” Actually, I think that’s true.

  52. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#5): Thanks. I thought Amos was straitjacketing himself or something.

  53. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    It has been a while since I posted (busy with deadlines), but I wanted to post today and let you all know that todays Mark Trail page on Rhinos is one that I did just recently. It is perhaps my favorite so far for various reasons. I hope you all enjoy it!
    ‘James Allen
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

  54. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    In Panel Three, BW’s boobs lunge up towards her face. “Wait!” they scream. “BW stands for Boobs Arise!”

    Unfortuantely, the helium in them is already leaking out three panels later.

  55. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Aviatrix, Droopy Says:

    Since you both read Gene’s Journal, you’ll probaby enjoy the rather superior – and a lot more involved Ralf The Destroyer.

    I’d recommend you start from the beginning and work your way forwards, since it’s a continuing story.

  56. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#54): Boobs Wild, not Boobs Arise. I should learn not to think of two things at the same time.

  57. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Percival Dunwoody (#49): One of my hobbies is scambaiting. One of my most successful efforts had me calling myself BJ.

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

  59. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Sherman’s Lagoon: I’m a bad person. The idea of gondoliers being eaten by sharks made me laugh.

  60. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#9): Thanks for the reminder. What a multi-talented man. Opera and Broadway shows through The Match Game and Lidsville and the Bic Banana. Truly a renaissance man.

    @Horace Broon (#23) on Phantom: Yes. That’s what it feels like to be Spiderman. That and stale Cheetos crumbs lodged inside his Spandex.

    @bunivasal (#37): Aw, come on. He’s just doing the patented “Crocodile Dundee Female Confirmation” protocol.

  61. Doctor Handsome
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    I like Kraven’s “!” when Sherry says she still loves him. He’s like, “Jesus, lady! I wear leopard-print tights, a gaudy vest with no shirt, and this goofy feather boa thing. My hair and beard are in the style of latter-day George Michael. I’d rather steal a fucking tiara and leave the country forever than be with you. TAKE A HINT.”

  62. NoahSnark
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    And so to jail, where Kraven will be reformed by the love of his cell mate Bubba.

  63. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#61): Sometimes I wish this site had a “like” button.

  64. Harold
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I think “BW” is a play on “VW,” and everybody gets a ride. Or is it because every driver experiences “Fahrvergnügen?”

    When there’s no TV around, Spidey has to make do with passively watching real people talk and move around.

  65. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): “Wanna neck?” Was this a flashback to a Bob Hope World War II movie?

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): That sounds like “Confucious Say.”

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#59): Seeing how much gondoliers charge, it’s more like cannibalism when Sherman eats one.

  66. lawn
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    If Kraven isn’t a “hardened criminal” by the end of today’s strip, there’s something wrong with him.

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#57): Dear BJ: What an interesting story! I believe we have friends in common. I think your mentor, Bishop I.M. Afarter, was in seminary with me. What a card! He once put forth the proposition that you could petition the Lord with prayer. Petition the Lord with prayer! Petition the Lord with prayer! Hah! You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!

    Of course, we were much younger then. Do give my respects to His Excellency when next you see him.

    // Yours in CUPS, Rev. N. Scudder.

  68. Tom T.
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    It’s pronounced “Bwuh.”

  69. MySpoonIsTooBig
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Given his love affair with seeing pretty women punished in some way, I can only speculate on That Bitch who broke his heart in high school. Who could blame her?

  70. John I. Carney
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#19):

    Ever seen Weird Al’s song about Charles Nelson Reilly? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnapb-30hA

  71. Esther Blodgett
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    JP: This strip has gotten so dull since they stopped marveling at how big the check is.

    CShaft: Dogs and cats are different, amiright? Ba-da-bing!

    Luann: Today’s Important Message is: Beauty is only skin deep, but teenage girls who wear makeup are whores.

  72. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#65): Seeing how much gondoliers charge, it’s more like cannibalism when Sherman eats one.

    What ever happened to “professional courtesy.” (sigh)

  73. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#72): They allowed lawyers to advertise on TV.

  74. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Josh, years ago, when I taught middle-school students (who are generally not too bright) and when my last name was hyphenated and fairly lengthy, my students would ask me, “Can we just call you Ms. W?” It took quite a bit of careful explanation to convince them that “Ms. W” was every bit as lengthy as my actual name.

    I’m not sure what the point of that is, except that perhaps Brenda Woods–or her creator–isn’t much sharper than the average 13 year old.

  75. Joe Btfsplk
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Rex – Well. The quality of artwork in that strip certainly went downhill in a hurry.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#74): Sadly, I think I reached my intellectual peak at age thirteen.

    // Booger! (ha, made you laugh!)

  77. gleeb
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    3-G: The advantage of a Sunday is that Margo gets to get sloshed all over again.

    ‘bean: So, Creepy Les, noticing that his old pal looks twenty years older than Les himself and about to have a heart attack, asks how he’s doing. No one mentions Crazy Harry and his criminal display of his “happy dance” before three children.

    Slylock: Boats float, which is easy enough for me to realize without a huge blue heron waiting to hit me with a yardstick if I guess wrong.

    Phantom: So beautiful and so deadly. The Pirate-killier-who-can-not-die is back!

    Dick: Thanks, ex-railroad cop! I needed a how-to-use-the-bus lesson. Elsewise, they imprisoned people in a lake? That’s dedication to institutionalized racism, right there.

  78. Uncle Lumpy
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    … the waistline of BW’s pants, which seems to improbably dip down in the front to better showcase her washboard abs …

    Such jeans exist, and feature helpful thumb-loops because if you’re thin enough to wear them, they won’t stay up.

    Photo SFW by a fraction of a millimeter.

  79. Uncle Lumpy
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#78):

    And without a hint of irony, their website has a “Privacy Policy.”

  80. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#78): Note, too, that the biggest size is 6. That’s probably for the best, actually.

  81. Inkwell
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    So… the storyline is ending and the guy still isn’t the villain he was foreshadowed to be?

  82. Shrug is Probably All Wet Here
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#y206):

    “MT: How widespread can a species be if a single tsunami almost wipes it out?”

    Depends on how wide the tsunami is . . . There was this thing called “Noah’s flood” that wiped out the unicorns, you know.

    ///Except for the one in 9CL. However, if it hangs around frequently enough, we have hopes that it will all by itself attract another flood, and that this one will also wipe out the Burbers.

  83. Caphi
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Incredible passive-aggressive slam from Dr. Jeff today. “I help sick children in third-world countries, you help white people in condos find bland suburban love – but what matters is we’re both helping people! Now go bake that cake with all your heart while I stay home and not treat kids who have been horribly poisoned because you dragged me away. I know how much you love helping people!”

  84. The Old Shrug in the Moon
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#20):

    “DT- Intriguing- BUT WHAT HAPPENED ON THE MOON? (I suspect Staton and Curtis’ publishers don’t like the whole “moon maid story, so it’s going to be delivered in little bites)”

    *********

    Could be. On the other hand, did we ever find out why Walt Wallet made a sudden appearance in DT to announce he’d won a “Vitamin Flintheart” lookalike contest, even though no one in the strip thought they looked at all alike? (I wasn’t reading DT regularly at the time.)

    Maybe the two non-starter plots are somehow tied together, and the Moon people have disguised themselves and moved to earth where they are making a living running scam lookalike contests and by working as publicity hacks trying to get Flintheart’s career restarted. (It was either them or Margo Magee….)

  85. missal
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#25): Depends. If it’s funny on purpose, it’s Two and a Half Men. If it’s funny by accident, it’s Rex Morgan.

  86. Some Guy
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Spiff Bereft (#35):
    but it beats whatever the hell he does now
    But isn’t what Comics Spider-man does really obvious? I mean, isn’t it just “bumble around uselessly until the villain gives up for reasons totally unrelated to Spider-Man’s actions, and then claim victory”?

  87. missal
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Considering that every woman Rex Morgan meets looks like a victim of botched plastic surgery, it’s no wonder he has no sex drive.

  88. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    FW It’s a comfort to know that in the Funkyverse, no one is ever engaged in any endeavor with any degree of comfort. It’s just all a spectrum of despair and discomfort.

    MW Meanwhile, in Worthworld, Mary and Dr. Jeff engage in a steamy session of mutual congratulation. It’s just all a spectrum of munificence and magnanimousness.

    Luann “I do know where my makeup belongs.”
    Yes, up your ass, where your head is.

  89. Atheist amongst the flock
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug is Probably All Wet Here (#82): The only remaining population is on the island of Java.

  90. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): Not so coincidentally, the title of one of James Whitcomb Riley’s most famous poems, “Little Orphant Annie,” sounds almost exactly like “Little Orphan Annie.”

    (Supposedly, Harold Gray wanted to call his comic strip “Little Orphan Otto,” but his boss insisted he change the main character to a girl. The more you know…)

  91. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @missal (#87): BOTCHED plastic surgery? Botched? Are we looking at the same women?

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#Y160): Ever hang out at Stumpy’s on Federal Hwy?

    // Before it became a gay bar, of course. NTTAWWT.

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#80): Oh, pfui, and pshaw! Some of us like big girls.

    // Has Sir Mix-A-Lot’s work been entirely in vain, then?

  94. John C Fremont
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @John I. Carney (#70): @Vince M (#40): Yes. I love that song. CNR rules!

  95. Trillian
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): “Neck”? Is Amos 80? Hope he’s got enough Viagra.

  96. Walker of Dog
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    On a very special Rex Morgan, BW gets the results of her biopsy. It’s B9.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#78): Wow… THIS close to denim chaps.

  97. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#89): …the world’s largest living lizard, a ferocious carnivore, found on the steep-sloped island of Komodo in the lesser Sunda chain of the Indonesian Archipelago and the nearby islands of Rinja, Padar, and Flores…

    // Wait! What. Sorry, must have dozed off there.

  98. Atheist amongst the flock
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#97): And they scare the bejesus out of me!

  99. Dr. Weird
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#22):

    Rex is turning into a bit of a werewolf in Panel 4. Do strippers really fight over werewolves in bowling shirts?

    Yes, ladies are drawn towards werewolves because of animal magnetism.

  100. seismic-2
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    SN: How did the cops know that Kraven stole the real tiara, or even that it had been stolen? The person who knew that was Spidey, and so far he has been knocked out first by Kraven and then by an elephant, so he certainly hasn’t shared that information with the authorities. Insofar as the cops know, either (1) Sherry the Showgirl has been wearing the real tiara all the time, as the show advertised, or (2) she’s really wearing a copy, but the real one is still back in the museum. So why is Kraven being arrested? For a story line that moves with the pace of a melting bowl of Mary Worth’s Rainbow Swirl ice cream, this strip surely leaves a lot of stuff out.

    Yeah, I know – now if they would only leave the other 98% of the stuff out, then it might actually be tolerable.

    DT: Just how many storylines are going on at the same time here, anyway? Are we finished with the costumed vigilantees, or do they tie into the apparent sightings of Moon Maid? Is today’s new discovery of the submerged artifact related to Mr. Mole’s upcoming dinner date? What the hell was that phone call all about, where the musician escaped from prison using a Pez dispenser? This story apparently does in fact leave out 98% of what’s going, and the 2% fragments that it elects to show us therefore come as just a weird jumble.

    Phantom: The return of Captain Savarna! This could be my most favoritest story of 2013, unless Peaches shows up again in JP to complete the deal for Alan Parker’s screenplay.

  101. seismic-2
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#100): Er, “SM”. Although come to think of it, “SN” makes sense too, given this strip’s signal-to-noise ratio.

  102. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”Do you like how far out I’m thrusting my chest to show that I am sexually interested in you?”

    MW-If Mary is so driven to help people then there is a doctor in Santa Royale whose been dating this woman for several years. This woman is constantly helping people and neglecting the relationship and the doctor is unsure of what to do.

  103. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-And so the day isn’t saved again by Spiderman.

    Spiderman 2-And tomorrow we shall find out that Kraven shares a jail cell with Clown-9.

  104. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#93): Noooo! Say it isn’t so!

  105. Chip Whittle
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Hey, gang, DailyInk.com is giving a weeklong free trial for everyone, so if you want to see the King Features comics at sizes where you can actually read what’s going on, leap now.

    They also have a bunch of vintage comics, like Krazy Kat, the Little King, the 1940′s Phantom, Mandrake the Magician from when it made any sense, The Heart Of Juliet Jones, and…well, Rex Morgan. Also daily Flash Gordons.

  106. Ranger Fred
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox – I do believe the answer is zero rungs since the rope ladder has rotted away after being exposed to sea water.

  107. Chip Whittle
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#20):

    DT- Intriguing- BUT WHAT HAPPENED ON THE MOON? (I suspect Staton and Curtis’ publishers don’t like the whole “moon maid story, so it’s going to be delivered in little bites)

    They found ruins on the Moon, without obvious leads to follow from there, and returned home so Tracy could get back to the Penguin’s Brother there.

    I do want to say I like how the Moon Maid story is being introduced as fragments in other stories. I trust this is going to be a full dedicated story one month (which seems to be about as long as the editors are trusting the new team–I think they can tell a coherent story running longer than that, but understand if the publishers are gun-shy after Locher’s four-month-long Rashomon-and-giant-robots analyses of single moments of time), but by sneaking in a couple days at a time in earlier stories they can make the Moon Maid Returns? story stretch longer and get the verisimilitude of the world having multiple things happening and not being able to just drop everything and investigate a graveyard vandal who turns out to be from outer space.

    Also I do expect the cosplayers thing to tie into the Moon Maid Returns? story, so, if it plays out like I expect–and I won’t be upset if it turns out I’m wrong–the story will have the nice interweaving of hints of the Moon Maid, hints of cosplayers throwing their fantasies around, and then people pretending being an explanation for what’s going on with the Moon Maid. Having the justification for one story appear as a separate, interesting on its own, story is a nice bit of work and I hope they’re up to it.

  108. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @adhesiveslipper (#18):

    I’m just gonna’ go ahead and start calling her “B-Dubs”.

    Those “dubs” are a lot bigger then “B.” Jus’ sayin’.

  109. Ranger Fred
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Why are the seatbelts attached to the windshield? It must be so if there is a crash they’d be able to escape through the shattered windshield.

  110. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#105): Mandrake the Magician used to make sense?

  111. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#110): *gestures hypnotically to convince Hemingwad*

  112. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#110): *gestures hypnotically*

    yes, yes it did.

  113. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    heh.

    ninja’d by lynn.

  114. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#93): That’s interesting. I was recently speaking with a guy who is exploring the possibility with the “powers that be” about doing a comic book featuring a superhero who happens to be a plus size lady. He feels there would be a big audience out there for something like that.

    // I told him I wasn’t sure if there were enough Snuffy Smiths out there.

  115. bats :[
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: all the girls had met June earlier in the day. I’m a little confused that Blondie had set her sights on Rex, since it’s pretty obviious from Mrs. Morgan’s demeanor that she could easily gut any of the girls like a salmon. Bare-handed, to.

  116. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#113): I am honored to be in the same mindset as the honorable Queek!

  117. John
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Anyone got an explanation for both ladies being at Herb’s house, in their dressing gowns, that doesn’t involve Herb having interrupted a much more interesting evening than he and Dagwood had?

  118. Sopia Pygea
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): “Big” audience? Are we supposed to believe you just coincidentally used that phrase?

  119. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#115): Both Blondie and Cookie have their sights set on Rex. What a catfight that will be!

  120. Sophia Pygea
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @John (#117): “Dressing gowns”? What 18th century novel are you visiting this site from?

  121. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#115): OooH! Can we see that bats :[? Can we? Huh? Huh? Please!

  122. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Sopia Pygea (#118): His words, not mine.

  123. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#30): I’m sorry to tell you that the tights+shorts thing is, well, a Thing. I guess it’s better* than men jogging wearing nothing but skin-tight spandex about their nether regions?

    *for various values of “better” depending on the predilections of the observer, the coldness of the weather, and the fitness of the jogger.

  124. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Alley Oop: Oh come on. Who does somebody else have to blow to get Wizer eaten, fer cryin’ out loud?

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Given the shocked expression on Kraven’s face in panel four, I’d say he much preferred forcing boys to share his life as a fugitive. Or perhaps that’s what Larry, Curly and Moe were for?

    Apt. 3-G: I should have guessed weeks ago that this storyline wasn’t about Margo choosing between Greg and Evan at all, but about her secret life as an alcoholic. Or is it about Evan and his aunt scamming her agency? Or about Evan going off the deep end in Margo’s closet? Oh hell, I don’t care anymore. Time for another toast!!

    Herman: In a rare self-instantiating joke, today’s strip was snail-mailed in 1992 and finally wound up at the syndicate last week, simultaneously illustrating the punchline and proving itself outdated in one fell swoop.

    Mary Worth: “Helping children overseas”? Is that what we’re calling it these days?

    One Big Happy: Even by Orthodox standards, this one is a bit late.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: This will end with someone getting knocked off an elephant, won’t it.

    Slylock Fox: Everyone quickly figured out the answer to Slylock’s brain-teaser. The question was, how could they use it to condemn Reeky Rat to a life sentence in the local godforsaken hellhole of a prison?

  125. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#36): He has a grown daughter (who was his model for Edda, apparently… yes, you probably don’t want to think too hard about that) so whatever his issues, being able to sustain a long-term relationship isn’t one of them.

  126. Sophia Pygea
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of all things Pygean, has Savarna lost a little weight, or what?

  127. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#99): Yes, ladies are drawn towards werewolves because of animal magnetism.

    This explains the whole Kraven-showgirl thing, too. She’s not drawn to him sexually or romantically; she’s just pulled into his orbit by a physical force.

    //Come to think of it, this would also explain why Spiderman is so pathetic. He possesses the animal magnetism of a spider, only he got the polarity reversed.

  128. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): The plus-sized superheroine thing? It could work.

  129. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#124): Darkgate and Go Comics show One Big Happys that are old. Here is today’s comic.

  130. exapno
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#30):

    Diva: Comic Strip Critic is pretty much dead on about Retail, although having worked enough retail in my life, I might be a tad prejudiced.

  131. Calico
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#10):
    I’d hate to think if her friends called her “Blond Minx.”

  132. Daniel
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    RM Dr. Morgan appears to be wearing a Reagan mask à la Point Break. What’s going down?

  133. Red Greenback
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Rolly Church of Crete! Halloween-colored Rex is reaching for some guy’s doughnuts!!

  134. bats :[
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

  135. Calico
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#14):
    Ha, subtle! Touché.

  136. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#128): Yeah, it might make it as a web comic. There are some pretty good ones out there. But this guy wants to have a main line comic book. I imagine it’s hard to break into that genre.

  137. Jason1981
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Someone other than Spidey manages to foil Kraven’s plan after Spidey gets his butt kicked? What a surprise. Next, we’ll probably find out that water is wet.

  138. Alison
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Could these people possibly kiss their own asses more? The adoring self-love radiating from Mary in this strip is always painful, but today is extra super painful. Can we please have a battle to the death between Mary Worth and the Morgans? Everyone has to physically fight over who is more perfect until only one is left standing.

    “I’m so great, I got free tickets to an aquarium!” (SMACK)
    “Well, I’M so great, I saved Emily from Goleta!” (PUNCH)
    “Yeah, but I’M so great, they let me eat free clams at a restaurant!” (SLAP)
    “Pfft! I’M so great, I’m going to help an old man win a cake decorating contest!” (SHOVE)

  139. Uncle Lumpy
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#138):

    Then Sam Driver wanders in, drops a bushel of money on the floor, and sneers as they dive to grab the bills.

  140. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

  141. TheDiva
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#123): Ew. Well, I suppose if it prevents Les from sporting the David Bowie in Labyrinth look (and you’re welcome for THAT particular mental image), it can’t be all bad. But I still must say it’s a very douchey clothing option, and I’m not the least bit surprised to find Mr. Moore sporting it.

  142. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#139): Sam Driver giving away wealth? I think not.

  143. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129): Thanks! … I guess.

  144. Peanut Gallery
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    I don’t usually read Spider-Man. Is everyone but me already accustomed to the excessive whitespace between panels? Is this yet another lazy tactic, to reduce the amount of drawing they have to produce?

  145. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#125): He has a grown daughter … so whatever his issues, being able to sustain a long-term relationship isn’t one of them.

    Without digging into his biography further than his very non-informative Wikipedia entry, it only takes about a five minute relationship to father a child.

  146. Peanut Gallery
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): Of course, that’s it! I was confused because they left out the attribution.

  147. mstgator
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Back away from Rex, Brenda… unless you want your friends to start calling you BM.

  148. Shrug, Comic Book Geek
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114):

    Big Barda?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Barda

    The only other plus-sized female serious superhero (sort of — no super powers, but led groups composed of folks with same) who comes to mind was DC’s Amanda Waller

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Waller

    and I see that in the New 52 revamp (which I am studiously ignoring as best I can), she is apparently no longer plus-sized. Ptui.

    Ma Hunkel (the Golden Age Red Tornado) was played for laughs. I don’t recall ever laughing…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Tornado_%28Ma_Hunkel%29

  149. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): The cop, too, is wondering what exactly Spider-Man does. He’s not letting down his guard until the guy is either unconscious or safe in front of a TV.

  150. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Comic Book Geek (#148): Impressive. Not my cup of tea but then again I like falling out of trees (my favorite Chuck Barris line).

  151. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Comic Book Geek (#148): There’s also She Hulk.

  152. NuAnn
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    The picture of Brooke McEldowney makes me think Elliot is based on him; if Juliette is based on his wife then that makes the strip either way less or way more creepy, depending how you look at it.

  153. Elk Meadow
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    9CWL : 9CWL: It’s the cartoonist’s salute to David Bowie, who turned 66 this year. The 1977 Christmas special with him had his doing a musical number from the back with his hands doing the same thing that they’re doing in the strip today. At least that’s what I think is going on.

    At the :55 mark
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejJmZHRIzhY

  154. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#153): Eh, it makes as much sense as anything.

  155. TheDiva
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @NuAnn (#152): Honestly, the only way I can tell Elliot (whose name I could not have told you until you mentioned it) and Amos apart is by which Burber woman they’re constantly fawning over, so I’m inclined to think they’re both author avatars. And yes, I prefer not to examine the implications of that too closely for the sake of my own sanity.

  156. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @NuAnn (#152): I guess the answer would be not to look at it.

    The test may be in 60-70 years to see if people are still talking about 9CL like we talk about Pogo or if nobody talks about it at all like we don’t talk about Grandma.

    //My apologies to Old Man Muffaroo if he talks about Grandma.

  157. Arabella
    January 13th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: Don’t be so sure that we’ve gotten past the Crazy Happy Dance. Often the Sunday strip is not a part of whatever is going on in the dailies, so we may be right back in the Comix Shop tomorrow. But we can always hope that we’ll move on and relegate Harry and John to the unseen-character background.

  158. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    It’s not just Brooke who uses his daughter as a model for his squick-inducing female character. Apparently Greg Evans is kind of proud that Luann is based on *his* spawn.

    Why do these two hate their kids so much?

  159. Ranger Fred
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Tanks a lot, Jughead.

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Comic Book Geek (#148): At least Marvel still has Fred Dukes (a/k/a The Blob) as an example of a plus-sized man:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blob_%28comics%29

    I don’t count Daredevil/Spider-Man villain Wilson Fisk (a/k/a The Kingpin) whose “fat” is apparently solid muscle.

  161. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Archbishop Afarter – he got promotion for helping distressed businessmen’s daughters in West African refugee camps – sends you greetings, Rev Scudder. He also wants to know where you hid “the key to the secret bookshelf”. He seemed to think you would know what he was talking about..

  162. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#102):

    ”Do you like how far out I’m thrusting my chest to show that I am sexually interested in you?”

    “No, I really, really don’t, because I’m g–married, married, I mean I’m married!”

    @Aviatrix (#149):

    The cop, too, is wondering what exactly Spider-Man does. He’s not letting down his guard until the guy is either unconscious or safe in front of a TV.

    That can only mean he’s figured out who’s underneath the mask!

    Well, if Peter’s as good at protecting his secret identity as he is at everything else, I guess that’s not so shocking.

  163. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#158): Brooke reproduced?

    God damn it.

  164. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#163): Yes. His hand gave birth to a bouncing, baby finger.

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#161): Oh. Well. So, I.M. Afarter is prancing about in purple socks, while his old seminary pal is still a mere Rev.. You can tell old I.M. from me that he knows perfectly well where the key is, and he knows perfectly well that the key is for closers.

  166. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”So do I still get paid?”

    A3G-”Santa’s been drinking heavily because living with Mrs. Santa is a living hell.”

    A3G 2-And this is why Margo isn’t allowed into churches anymore. She’ll take a drink every time she hears a church bell.

    FC-Sadly this was the start of the Keene children’s obsession with cleanliness and washing their hands many times a day. It was said that PJ spent all day in the bathroom trying to get his hands clean.

    FW-”The sharp tingling pains running down my arm has finally died however I’m still suffering from chest pains.”

    JP-”Brad Pitt? That name sounds so made up. It sounds like the sort of name that you would use for a character based on an actual celebrity when you can’t use the real celebrity’s likeness or name.”

  167. Alison
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#158):
    Lynn Johnston also based Michael and Elizabeth in “For Better or For Worse” on her own kids, and even gave the characters her own childrens’ middle names as first names. She made up April though. As the strip progressed, it became more and more obvious that Lynn really hated April a lot, which I think is interesting, because she was the only main character who was completely fictional.

  168. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#156): I Remember Mama, and I also remember Grandma(ma). Does anyone else remember Frank Beck’s “Bo” (a popular strip back in the day)?

    http://www.raggedclaws.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/frank-beck_bo_wake-up-junior_p1of1_big-shot-comics-n31_jan1943.jpg

    No relation to Bo Obama or the Face of Boe.

  169. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160):

    …I don’t count Daredevil/Spider-Man villain Wilson Fisk (a/k/a The Kingpin) whose “fat” is apparently solid muscle…

    just because The Kingpin keeps telling people that doesn’t mean we should believe him.

  170. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#163): Tom Batiuk also has a son. Wanna make something of it?

  171. Illustrator Steve
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#92): “Ever hang out at Stumpy’s on Federal Highway?”

    I don’t recall a place by that name. Then again, I’m thinking back to the days of the 60′s and 70′s. Our main hang out was the Egg and You at the corner of Federal highway and NE 26th street next to Wilton Manors. A close friend of mine’s family (Katsikas) owned and operated the restaurant and in addition to being a popular breakfast and lunch place (still is today), it was open late in the evening.
    A favorite place to get a cheap beer in the 70′s was Grady’s Bar on south Andrews Avenue across the street from the old Broward General Hospital. We would sit in a booth and watch the cockroaches crawl out from behind the old framed photgraphs hung on the wall. On week nights they offered free platters of cheese and crackers and draft beer for a quarter.
    There was a place near the old Sears on Federal across from King Oldsmobile named Lester’s bar. In the late 60′s they had some great deli sandwiches. My friend that still lives in Ft. Lauderdale would be the one who knows just about every good bistro, tavern, bar and club in town. He and his wife owned a yacht management agency for many years in Ft.Lauderdale. When I visit we go to places I had never heard of when living there. One bar we visited along A1A is, or was, named Adobe Gila’s, appearantly to sound like the title of the old TV show Dobie Gillis. When visiting there we usually dine out at Chuck’s Steak House on Commercial Boulevard and also the Chuck’s on 17th street Causeway. About ten years ago we went to a party downthere at a place somewhere in the NW section called Tequila Sunrise. It may have been on nort Dixie highway.
    …any of those places ring a bell?

  172. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sophia Pygea (#120): I’m with @John (#117), they are totally wearing their dressing gowns. The identical hem length and bows and coordinating slippers are a little odd, but they don’t negate the fact that the men’s wives are together in sleepwear or less.

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#116): so, post moar corgis!!!!

    *laughing*

  174. Sequitur
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#171):Oh, the Egg & You! Well sure. It is still there, I think. Dad would often take us there for a treat! Wasn’t there a Royal Castle nearby, too? There was a pizza joint also, can’t remember the name, had the greatest fluffy crust…

    Stumpy’s was on NE 18th Street, across from Bo’s barber shop.

    // Don’t stint on detail. Our fellow curmudgeons are fascinated by this stuff.

  176. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#171): I shouldn’t say this, she never knew, but I had such a crush on Debbie King, Oldsmobile King’s daughter. She was, of course, the most popular girl at Fort Lauderdale High, back then.

  177. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#123): It seems like some people think exercising gives them permission to dress in, well, really bad taste.
    //And by bad taste, I mean insufficient coverage, articles two sizes too small, anything in spandex/lycra, and workout clothes with revealing tears and holes.

  178. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#171): There’s a chain called Adobe Gila’s. The closest one to where I live is in Orlando:

    http://www.adobegilas.com/

  179. Debbie King Schmerzphal, living on the edge of the Everglades in a loveless marriage
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#176): Well, now I know it.
    //I’m not nearly as popular now as I was back then. *sigh*
    ///Call me.

  180. Droopy Says
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#144): The huge white spaces between Spiderdick panels makes sense. By making the panels smaller, you waste less ink and less paper. Making it harder to see what’s going on is a bonus.

    Has anyone noticed that the Kraven story could have been improved without Parker’s presence? Pissy Peter didn’t do anything but hang around, watch TV, chase a monkey and get caught. He stopped a rampaging elephant, but that elephant only went ape because Spiderdick got thrown around like a nerf ball during a fight. Kraven was arrested by a cop who already seemed to know about the tiara theft. The story would have been far more interesting marginally less ridiculous if a Vegas detective had noticed the strange thefts, connected them with Kraven’s interest in the tiara, and actually done something in a law-enforcement way.

    And what happened to the blonde animal handler who met Pissy and MJ on Long Island, at the start of this story? Why did she vanish? She would have made a more credible love-interest/victim than Showgirl Sherry. It’s like dead-tree Spiderman requires a minimum number of plot holes, and dropping the handler for the showgirl helped create them.

    For that matter, how did Kraven plan to escape? “I am Kraven, he who speaks of himself in the third person, wears a garish costume and stinks of lion-cage sweepings! Ignore my presence!” And how was he going to pawn the priceless tiara? “Priceless, shmiceless! What am I, Midas? Croesus? I’ll give you fifty bucks for it.”

  181. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger Fred (#106): Great thinking. You got me thinking about other options. There are no rungs because Reeky Rat stole them.

    @Chip Whittle (#105): Thanks for telling us. If they update the strips on a timely basis, I’ll spring for the subscription. I’m already paying for GoComics. DailyInk has almost everything else I read.

    @Sequitur (#108): Agreed wholeheartedly and whole handedly. Wait, no, that sounds wrong. OK, “agreed wholeheartedly and they’re much more than a handful.”

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#124)on Slylock Fox: See above. Great minds and all that.

    @Alison (#138): Come on now. It’s that whole “kissing up to the target market” thing. Kiddies’ comic books used to show the good little girls get showered with gifts for being good little girls. Showing old people getting gifts for acting like old people follows the same logic.

  182. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): Fisk still counts as “plus-sized” IMO. Here’s my logic:

    When I was a kid I went to this other kid’s birthday party and one of the things in the gift bag his guests got after it was over was a Spider-Man digest which contained a reprinting of ASM #50, or the Kingpin’s first appearance. I forget what I got the kid for his birthday, but in retrospect I think I got the better deal considering that the story is both pretty good and very significant.

    In that story, Fisk sees Spider-Man fighting a bunch of his goons and attacks him. Unlike the Spider-Man Josh covers here, Peter is able to dodge the Kingpin’s first few attacks and disarm him, but then Fisk nails him in the stomach with a left hook that doubles him over. Then we get this exchange.

    KINGPIN: You made the same fatal mistake as everybody else who faces the Kingpin! You thought of me as nothing more than a helpless, slow-moving fat-man–

    SPIDER-MAN: *Whew!* One thing’s for sure–helpless you’re not! But you’ll never convince me that you’re really skinny!

    And as he says that last line he recovers and jumps out of the way of Fisk’s followup attack, whereas the comic strip guy would probably just get pummeled. But I digress…

    My point is that Fisk looks like a fat guy, so people are gonna make cracks about him being a lardass (even people who know how dangerous he is have been known to do that, although not necessarily to his face), and he’ll have the same trouble getting dates (granted, he did get married and have a son, but who knows how many women rejected him because of his appearance before Vanessa?), and so on. He has to deal with all the stigma that somebody who really is fat would, with the only real differences being that most obese people can’t buy and sell New York City (or so I assume) or kick the ass of everybody who makes fun of them.

    Oh, btw, as the fight between Kingpin and Spidey progresses, here’s one of the things that Spidey says:

    “Look alive, lumpy!”

    I choose to interpret this the following way: Uncle Lumpy and Wilson Fisk are one and the same. The Lumpy we’ve seen in pictures here, who looks nothing like the Kingpin? He’s an impostor, hired by the real Lumpy/Fisk to ensure nobody suspects the truth.

  183. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

  184. Ratiocinator
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): Well, McEldowney has a tendency to kind of be an asshat. (Or beefwit, if you prefer to talk like he does.) So I can only hope that the apple got carried far, far away from the tree, by a tornado or something.

  185. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#145): Less if there’s a turkey baster involved. So I hear. From those “my man left me but I still want his baby” stories in The Daily News.

    @Sequitur (#156): The origin story of Mr. Weston, revealed. What a maroon!

  186. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#184): It would probably destroy the entire space–time continuum if Brooke’s daughter and Tom’s son got together and had a kid of their own.

  187. seismic-2
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Comic Book Geek (#148): Thanks – I was trying to remember Amanda Waller’s name. I haven’t read SS in the New 52, but I had heard that she was now svelte, and many folks didn’t like it.

    Although DC doesn’t have any super-heroines whose anatomy is comparable to, shall we say, Bouncing Boy’s, some of them are at least tall and heavy although not “pudgy”. For instance, we have seen that some of the Amazons are bigger than Wonder Woman (who herself carries considerable musculature on her 6’0″ frame), and Lady Frankenstein is something of a giantess. Of course, her body weight is enhanced by her having four arms.

  188. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#182):

    Or perhaps Wilson Fisk is a grown-up Lumpy Rutherford:

    http://www.memphisfilmfestival.com/Guests2006/lumpy1.jpg

  189. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#187): Of course, her body weight is enhanced by her having four arms.

    Well, four armed is fore-warned.

  190. seismic-2
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#186): Their progeny would be Brad DeGroot.

  191. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

  192. Sgt. Stoned
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Ah, yes, America–where general practitioners are treated like rock stars! BTW, most real strippers would be bartering blow jobs for drugs with an MD.

    BB: Let me see, a desert in the vicinity of a camp named “Swampy”. Somebody flunked third grade geography.

    Zits: Nah, men don’t bite their fingernails. We use tonail clippers on ‘em.

    MT: It would be nice if you showed us some of those photos, Elrod.

  193. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Rev Scudder – my life was changed by this important message from Mr Fakmit Uday.

    Maybe yours will be too!

  194. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#192): Camp Swampy was the site of an ill-fated U.S. Army experiment (in the late 1960s/early 1970s) with the herbicide/defoliant Agent Orange.

  195. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    3G – “More Zimas, mule!”

    SlylockAn octopus has three hearts!
    Slylock Fox is turning into a bridge column so gradually, nobody but me has noticed it.

    Snuffy – Last panel: Snuffy needs eye bleach after seeing that it’s true about bears in the forest.

  196. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#176): It’s no joke. The more physically demanding your activity, the further your attire is legally permitted to deviate from public norms. There’s some evidence that the graph is symmetrical for women, explaining why females who do absolutely nothing at all are photographed going commando in dresses that come down to here.

  197. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Fred – So. Yorky is somehow capable of thought, but is unable to put his thoughts into words in a thought bubble. So Fred has to re-think his thoughts for him. It’s not that Yorky is noticeably stupider than Fred, but Fred is the star of the strip, and it’s in his contract that no other animal is permitted to verbalize its thoughts but him.

    Hägar – There’s a myth that if a Viking ever says something funny, his helmet’s horns will drop off. Mythbuster status: Permanently unverifiable.

    Mark – “Because it is so rare, little is known of the Javan Rhino, and what is known is often riddled with errors. It lives in a carpark near Brixton, where it survives on s’mores and Pixy Stix, which it shares with its attractive wife and wacky mailman.”

  198. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Mary – I call BS on today’s epigram. Mary Home never said “After dinner at the Bum Boat, Jeff takes.” In fact, I can’t find any quotable Mary Home at all. It’s just like Albert Camus said!

    Pluggers – You’re a plugger if you see no irony in singing “Born to be Wild” in the same kind of pickup the guy was in who blew Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper away in Easy Rider.

    @Baka Gaijin (#y217): Seeing =/= associating.

    Charles Nelson Reilly – Here’s how I like to remember him. Intro cut — he was on a talk show, as he so often was, and some bimbo actress said something about him not being a real actor. Roll tape!

  199. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#181): Yes, they do. So do we.

  200. Illustrator Steve
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#175):
    Recalling all those old places brings back many great memories of while growing up in Fort Lauderdale. It was a great place to grow up back then but today it seems to just a lot of gridlock traffic jambs, especially along Oakland Park Boulevard. And what’s with that huge Sawgrass shopping complex out near the staduim? I swear, the road that circles around it must be three or four miles long!
    …Speaking of stadiums, when I was a kid they built a baseball stadium in the laet 1950′s as the winter home for the NY Yankees. There was another stadium near it called Lockhart Stadium. Our next door neighbor was the general manager of Pier 66 and had season tickets for the Ft Lauderdale Yankee Stadium. They were for front row seats directly behind the Yankee’s dugout. In the early 1960′s we would watch all the great Yankee players coming and going to and from the dugout during ther winter games and practices. One evening game in 1961 or 1962, I watched Roger Maris as he headed back to the dugout and gave the finger to some guy heckling him about the 61 home run thing. A lot of old fans were upset with him for breaking the Babe’s record and there I was as a 12 or 13 year old witnessing them shouting at Maris as he flipped them the bird! Joe Demaggio was retired by then but he had some sort of manager role there and you would see him walking the along the fence in uniform. My friend (the guy who inin yacht management today) walked over to the fence and Demaggio came over to him and posed for a photo with him. He also autographed a ball for him, which we were told was rare at that time for Demaggio to do. To this day my pal Bob has that photo of him and Joe Demaggio and the ball Demaggio signed on display in his home. Memories, memories,memories. What a great place that was back then! By the way, remember the famous UPSIDE DOWN HOUSE at the entrance to the city of Sunrise? I have a picture I took of it when it was first built to draw folks out to see the new homes being built there in 1960. They actually had a new 1960 Pontiac Bonniville convertible mounted upside down on the inverted carport floor. Incredible!

  201. bbofun
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): Actually, if you read that article, you’ll see that The Blob is no longer fat, having lost his powers. He’s now a weight-loss guru, despite having lost the weight only because it was a function of his powers.

    Marvel also has Pink Pearl http://marvel.wikia.com/Pearl_Gross_(Earth-616), who was an international terrist who traveled the world as the fat lady in circuses, and Big Bertha http://marvel.wikia.com/Ashley_Crawford_(Earth-616) , who can change from model-thin to hugely fat, gaining strength and resistance to injury.

    JP- “Look at Brenda Woods throwing herself at him! Her airbags have deployed!

  202. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#200): I think I read that Crankshaft arc.

    I think I must be reading Crankshaft too often, seeing as the ad today asks me if I am a “Male Catheter User?”

  203. seismic-2
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#201): Hit woman Pink Pearl, AKA “The Eraser”. She’ll rub you out.

  204. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    And it seems that Illustrator Steve’s wall ‘o text is not entirely hallucinatory ramblings. I have found documentation of his upside-down house, and other upside-down houses, too.

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#201): Correction noted.

    Does anyone know if William “Fat Marvel” Batson still exists in the DC Universe or has he been retconned out of existence?

    http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/William_%22Fat_Marvel%22_Batson_%28Earth-S%29

  206. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger Fred (#159):

    Wasn’t “Tanks-a-lot” Jughead the nickname he got after he kept unsuccessfully trying to stage a one-person theatrical production called “The Hamburger Monologues”?

  207. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#205):

    It was like Fawcett ran out of good ideas early on and then decided that the creative output would still work if they came up with a bunch of weird and bad ideas and just stuck with them like they were really good ideas.

    Case in point, Mr. Mind. The Smartest inch worm in the world was an evil genius that wore aviator’s goggles and swore to defeat Captain Marvel. A li’l green inchworm is a nemesis of The World’s Mightiest Mortal (at least i think that is what Cap’n Marvel is called*)

    * and before anyone brings it up, yeah, there’s a dozen characters named Captain Marvel. I don’t understand why that is either.

  208. Ranger Fred
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#206): You, sir, are quite convivial in your utterings.

  209. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    I swear before the living god that 179 was not me, and bad lynn has ceased to appear here since December 31, as I vowed to the aforementioned living god. Still, it’s nice to be remembered *sigh*

  210. lynn
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    Note how boring I am in the absence of my antimatter-world twin. Sigh.

  211. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#174): *snurk!*

  212. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#210): *imagines goatee on lynn*

  213. Ukulele Ike
    January 13th, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#175): // Don’t stint on detail. Our fellow curmudgeons are fascinated by this stuff.

    He’s not kidding, either. Do go on!

  214. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 13th, 2013 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Which of course stands for “Russ Meyer Made Dis.”

    S-M: Good for Spidey! He’s shown that even if he can’t do anything in the stories where he’s ostensible the hero, he can at least sort of comprehend them.

    FC: PJ is all “See how much attention you twerps get when I have conjunctivitis.”

    BH: Harriet just confessed to poisoning Stanley for the last twenty years. That’s something I haven’t even read in The Lockhorns, although Loretta may just be waiting for Leroy’s liver to collapse on its own.

    BB: What is it they say? If you meet the Beetle on the road, kill him?

    DtM: Dennis’ old school male entitlement in the last couple of panels is funny, but not for the reason he thinks. Boy’s forgetting he doesn’t have the size advantage at this point.

    Baldo: “You couldn’t have picked a better time… than when Castellanos just gave up and started pasting in all his backgrounds.”

  215. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#192):

    BB: Let me see, a desert in the vicinity of a camp named “Swampy”. Somebody flunked third grade geography.

    To be fair, both Camp Swampy and the strip itself date from another geographic era.

  216. bbofun
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#205): @tallyHO (#207): It’s two! Two! Two answers in one! [don comic-book nerd glasses] [realize I am already wearing them]

    “Fat” Marvel no longer exists. neither doe “Uncle Marvel”, Billy Batson’s vaguely Frank Morgan-ish uncle (who was portly, as well), who would occasionally don a “Capt. Marvel” suit, although I don’t think he ever had actual powers. In fact, there basically isn’t a “Capt. marvel in the current “New 52″ DC Universe- instead, Billy Batson is now “Shazam”- who’s pretty much Capt. Marvel.

    Why, you ask (or at least I’m going to pretend you did)? Well, about 40 years ago, long after Capt. Marvel had ceased publication (due to a long-running copyright suit between DC and Fawcett), Marvel Comics decided “Hey, we’re Marvel Comics! We should have a Capt. Marvel!” Unable to get the rights to the Fawcett character (and/or fearful of litigation) they created their own, who was moderately successful- and, in those days, that was enough. Eventually, they killed that Capt. marvel, and a succession of others have taken his place (oftentimes mainly to keep the copyright on the name). It’s currently held by the former Ms. Marvel.

    Meanwhile, DC decided “Hey, Capt. Marvel was a really good character- let’s get him!” and first “rented” (honestly) then bought the character from Fawcett. But, since Marvel now had the copyright on the Capt. Marvel name, DCworked out an agreement with them- DC published Capt. Marvel stories, but wouldn’t use the character’s name as the title of a book. They called their comic “SHAZAM!”

    In the years since, they’ve re-booted the captain several times, trying to figure out the level of silliness/seriousness he should have. Recently, because of (apparently) renewed hostility from marvel over the name, they decided to drop the name completely.

    WHEW. Now, just don’t ask about Capt. Marvel/Marvelman/Miracleman- that’s REALLY complicated!

  217. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Comic Book Geek (#148): A little more obscure and short-lived, but when Alan Moore was doing Top Ten for his America’s Best Comics imprint, one of the heroes in that book was Irma Geddon. Basically Kathy Bates with Tony Stark’s armor.

    //Anyway, if someone does a decent strip with a plus-size heroine, I’m checking it out. (Almost wrote “plus-size heroin”, but that’s close to being a contradiction in terms.)

  218. Baka Gaijin
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    * * * APARTMENT 3-G ALERT * * *

    TO THOSE WHO HAVE WEAK HEARTS,
    AVOID APARTMENT 3-G ON MONDAY.
    SOMEONE MAY BE GOING ROADSIDE.
    AND I MEAN IT!

    * * * END ALERT * * *

  219. Consul, the Almost Human
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    PBS 1/14/13: Very nicely done

  220. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Sunday Phantom: Totally called it. A skeleton in or near the wreck of Savarna’s ship =/= Savarna’s skeleton. Especially not if you know her.

  221. Baka Gaijin
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Strips

    “Rod Bassy?” “Rod Bassy?” If this weren’t Mark Trail, I’d think I was reading a porno.

    I would be so happy if Daddy Curtis sat on and smothered his youngest son. So so happy.

    Sara, if you want to know why the cheesy fingerprints stop at Chapter 3 of the book, pull down his drawers. You’ll see why.

  222. Morgan Wick
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    “I do really wonder at the plot development process that brought us a Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline that includes a sensitive treatment of breast cancer and its medical, economic, and psychological effects on people without health insurance, but also features sexy strippers getting into a cat fight over Rex. Was it conceived of as a single, organic whole, appearing as a creative vision in the writer’s mind? Is it the result of some synthesis, the product of a debate external (e.g., desperate stakeholders with conflicting visions arguing in a boardroom) or internal (e.g., a devil on the writer’s shoulder shouting “STRIPPERS!” and an angel shouting “CANCER!”)?”

    Or maybe the prospect of a cancer storyline made the writer of Rex Morgan instinctively look for anything to lighten the mood, lest it be the first step in the comic’s inevitable downward spiral into Funky Winkerbean territory.

  223. Morgan Wick
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Also, if you just saw this RMMD strip out of context you’d think the blonde girl was Rex’s wife or girlfriend. Look out, June: looks like one of the strippers is an out-and-out wannabe homewrecker. Of course Rex will be completely immune to her charms, but still.

  224. Majicou
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @NuAnn (#152): Who’s “Elliot”? Is that Older Nebbishy Guy? I’m actually surprised that the Burbers allow their men to retain individual names.

  225. Aviatrix
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Monday Phantom: Where was his horse through all that lion cuddling?

  226. Aviatrix
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    MW: I hope they drag out the cake design reveal for the whole story line, never letting us see what they are working on, but drop little hints so we can all go mad trying to figure it out. My top three guesses right now are (a) symmetrical three layer white cake with pink frosting depicting deer and trees, (b) white and pink iced layer cake with the astonishingly edgy move of having the top layer displaced a little bit, to leave room for a bird on top, or (c) a bright blue–the colour of men’s pants–cake shaped like a dolphin jumping over a wave.

  227. Majicou
    January 14th, 2013 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Last Snark of SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

    reC&H: This illustrates one of my principles about art. I can’t provide a complete set of criteria for what is or isn’t art–I don’t think anyone really can. But I can provide a necessary (but not sufficient) criterion, which I call the “you didn’t do anything test.” If you didn’t do anything, it’s not art. John Cage’s 4’33″? Not art. Blank canvases hanging on walls? Not art. A bunch of fucking garbage you decided not to clean up and call an “installation”? Not art. A signed urinal? NOT ART.

    GF: I’m not sure if I should point out the age-old not-truity that the Eskimos have many words for “snow,” since it’s Satchel. Still…

    PBS: I was going to say “Hey, how did Jef Mallett get in Pearls?” until I realized that is exactly the joke.

  228. tallyHO
    January 14th, 2013 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#216):
    WHEW. Now, just don’t ask about Capt. Marvel/Marvelman/Miracleman- that’s REALLY complicated!

    What you wrote sounds about right. Though, I didn’t know that DC didn’t buy Fawcett until the 70s (they got everything plus the kitchen sink, huh?)

    Wasn’t the uncle named Uncle Dudley and he was also Uncle Marvel? I’m almost certain I’ve read stories in which he had powers, too.

    As for your last statement, quoted above, I am sort of familiar with that. Marvel Comics had/has Marvel Comics U.K. and when they started that up it was after Captain Marvel was being published, right? So, Marvel Comics got on the publishers case and the character (and his Marvel Family, too?) got a name change to Miracle Man, right?

    I’ve read the Alan Moore Miracle Man comics and the Three Ages ones Gaiman wrote. That was when Eclipse Comics, an American publisher, bought the property or just had the rights to publish it. Somehow, from what I’ve read, the copyright on the characters was actually up for grabs and no one really owned them. Yet, Todd McFarlane (a comic book artist/publisher/co-owner of Image Comics) bought the rights and eventually Marvel Comics bought the rights from him. Which is where Ms. Marvel was re-christened Captain Marvel, right?

    What I don’t know is whether the stories Eclipse published are owned by Marvel Comics or by the writers and artists who did them. I’d look all of this up but it does little good right now.

    As it goes, I’m pretty sure superhero comics are messed up, logically, and when viewed as a business. That’s not even getting into how Fawcett got pinched by DC back in the 40s, when DC was called National Periodicals (or sumptin), and it tried to get Fawcett to stop publishing Captain Marvel because it was too close to the Superman character in terms of the powers the character had/has. It is all as silly as following a soap opera comic strip. (i’m (buegrudeoningly) looking at you, Mary Worth, sitter in cars, meddler of cake decorators and the wayward uncouth)..

  229. tallyHO
    January 14th, 2013 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#218):

    It looks like the drawing guy took a Barbie Doll and a Ken Doll and posed them for the two panels.

    Awkward!

  230. Droopy Says
    January 14th, 2013 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Exactly how did Spiderdick help to arrest Kraven? Kraven was obviously on his feet when arrested, so Kraven didn’t trip over him. Causing a woman to fall off an elephant that you have (accidentally) panicked is “help” only in the sense that “the French Army helped Mexico establish Cinco de Mayo as a national holiday by losing the Battle of Puebla.”

    FW: Is this foreplay, Cancerville style? Please don’t let them reproduce.

    Phantom: And when it comes to immortal hoaxes, lady, you’re listening to an expert.

    Family Circus: Given that the melonheads are marching in lockstep, I’m going to guess that Grandma’s stories somehow always mention Sing Sing and Alcatraz. Which would explain much about the Keane Kompound.

    Mock Travail: Trail his going to investigate two fishermen named Rod Bassy and Catfish? I’m really glad this strip is turning into Dick Tracy. Maybe Rusty, or at least Sassy, will get killed in the insane crossfire when Trail and Bassy tangle lines.

    Pluggers: Why wouldn’t the Plugger man mention his mom’s cooking? She and his wife use the exact same recipes, copied from the backs of Hamburger Helper boxes.

  231. Mr. O’Malley
    January 14th, 2013 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#227): I believe that John Cage’s 4’33? requires the opening and closing of the piano lid, so it must be art after all.

    I wasn’t so sure about not putting out your garbage for a month, but surely convincing someone to pay you 5 figures for a month’s worth of garbage is a rare skill, and possibly a kind of art.

  232. Majicou
    January 14th, 2013 at 5:06 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#231): I was speaking of Cage himself, not the “performer.” Of course, as I said, it’s necessary but not sufficient. If you want to get technical, Cage did write “TACET” three times on a sheet of paper, but eh. Not really what you’d call much of a creative endeavor.

  233. Majicou
    January 14th, 2013 at 5:07 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#231): As for the second point, well, they are called “con artists“, so perhaps you’re on to something there.

  234. Little A.
    January 14th, 2013 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    CURTIS: Either he sat on a rat, or on Barry. Same thing, actually.

  235. seismic-2
    January 14th, 2013 at 5:51 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#231), @Majicou (#233): In 1965 a 22-year old poet named Aram Saroyan was paid $750 for having a “poem” published in The American Literary Anthology, edited by George Plimpton. It consisted of a single “word” :

    lighght

    As you might expect, the payment (perhaps the highest rate per word in the history of poetry?) generated quite a kerfluffle (would darark be worth $500?), particularly from people who had produced similar “poems” by means of typographical errors but were never remunerated for doing so.

  236. gleeb
    January 14th, 2013 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Isn’t Darrin the “technology Batiuk doesn’t understand (i.e. anything after 1982)” whipping boy? Why doesn’t he have a DVR?

    Dick: Yes, it takes a university education to figure out how to use a pry-bar or a hammer.

    Thorp: She doubted The Peacock. She missed her shot. The Peacock will not be mocked.

    Doones: Again checking in with the only long-time employee of the Washington Post to not get a large buyout settlement when they laid him off.

    June Morgan, RN: A loaded gun in a house regularly full of beer-soaked guests? Nothing could possibly go wrong!

  237. lynn
    January 14th, 2013 at 6:54 am [Reply]

    In Curtis, I like to think that Greg’s behind has grown large enough that he’s stuck in his chair.

  238. lynn
    January 14th, 2013 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    More likely he has discovered Diane’s crack pipe. Or Curtis’ porn DVDs. Or Barry’s incontinence issue.

  239. Little Guy
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    Blondie: So, he’s watching “The Soup”?

    PBS: Took me a while to figure it out. Am I a bad person, or should I blame it on no coffee?

  240. Little Guy
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    yRMMD: There’s a frong singing backwards in her pants?

  241. Little Guy
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#240): There’s a frog singing backwards in her pants?

    Then again, I take it back. “Frong” sounds like she has Victoria’s Secret Underroos. Anything to sell to the Gen-Yers.

  242. Droopy Says
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#236): There’s actually a good reason to have the case unlocked at the university. It’s an archaeological dig, and if the box is opened in front of witnesses there’s less chance of an accusation of a hoax.

  243. Beetle Bumstead
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#22): From my angle, it looks more like he’s about to spread his fingers Spock-like and say “Live Long and Prosper, Bwee! I’ve got a Vulcan mind-meld to do.”

  244. cholling
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    If only Funky Winkerbean were considerate enough to give us strippers with our cancer. No, scratch that, the strippers would probably wind up being Les and Funky, just to fulfill the misery quota.

  245. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 14th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @cholling (#244):

    FW – No strippers, but today’s strip features a woman with a hairstyle rarely seen outside of a 1980s porn movie.

  246. Arabella
    January 14th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    FW: This must be the year we’ll visit with the minor characters. What kind of lame story will these two have? Then on to Wally and his girlfriend. After that, it’ll be back to all Les, all the time.

  247. Illustrator Steve
    January 14th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#204): @Aviatrix (#202):
    “Hallucinatory ramblings”? “Crankshaft arc”?

    This is the reaction I get for sharing some very pleasant past memories with a person who grew up in the same town as I did and graduated from the same high school as I did? I doubt that even photos or other means of proving myself would change the mind of a narrow minded skeptic, nor would it be worth trying.

  248. Jon Pertwee as Dr. Who
    January 14th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    I knew a guy named Brandon Wolfowicz once, who also went by “BW” but we pronounced it “Bee-Dub.”

  249. HCV
    January 14th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    The “CANCER!” angel of course answers to the name “Tom.”

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