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Soapy Wednesday

Mark Trail, 1/16/13

I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to laugh at however Mark weasels out of fishing with Rusty this time, but for now I just want to point out that our intrepid journalist plans to interview a superstar bass fisherman whose name is literally “Rod Bassy.” Get it, because you use a fishing “rod” catch “bass”? This is absurdly on the nose, even for this strip, and I look forward to future characters named Art Smugglerish, Beard Villain, and Corrupt Bald Politician Who Wants To Harm The Environment Somehow.

Gil Thorp, 1/16/13

How can Gil complain that the Thorps need to get a life when they already do fun stuff like have their own private ’80s parties at home on weekends? At least, I’m assuming that’s what’s going on, because Mimi is wearing leg warmers in panel two; she has to be doing it for the nostalgia value, because how could her legs be anything but toasty warm with that out-of-control fire blazing eight inches away from them?

Spider-Man, 1/16/13

“Because that’s what people do in mental hospitals, right? Fill out puzzle books? No? Um, ok, how about: You should be connecting the dots — in kindergarten, after I send you back … to … journalist kindergarten? Damn it damn it damn it, let’s start this whole thing over.”

365 responses to “Soapy Wednesday”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — Today it’s revealed that Miss Buxley is the inspiration for the titular character in a 1970s sexploitation film:

    http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/49402.1020.A.jpg

    But even if talking vavajays aren’t your cup of tea, the cast includes Rip Taylor and Professor Irwin Corey. ‘Nuff said?

  2. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    JP: So, I know it’s called exposition when characters’ dialogue contains new and vital information in order to advance the plot, but what’s it called when they just repeat (again) what we’ve already seen them do and after the story has ended? Judgposition?

    MW: Ah, retirement, a time when people can finally take of the masks they wore their whole adult lives, a time when people can stretch their wings and try new things! For instance, in panel 1, John Dill is pointlessly pointing with his right hand, but in panel 2, that wild man is using his left!

    RxMD: Geez, June! Maybe, like Harry Haller, having a ready way out spurs Delores to see just how much more she can take.

    @hogenmogen (#Y352):

    …how do you say “Occam’s Razor” in the Bandar tounge?

    Guran’s Penis-Sheath?

  3. Old Folkie
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    JP: Sam has a full-time secretary, but the mail just piles up, and he has to open it himself when he gets back?
    MW: Now this is really getting creepy…

  4. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MT “He’s a bass fisherman. I mean, I’ve never heard of him before now, but he’d kinda have to be, wouldn’t he? His parents really left him with few options on that front…”

    GT So it turns out that Gil was Satan all along, returning to hell every night to sip some wine and look over the roster. I would have figured the prince of darkness would be a little more competent of a coach, but I guess you can’t be good at everything….

  5. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    DT-And everyone involved in the murder is dead.

    FC-Insert fat joke here.

    MT-This is will be Rusty’s first chance to actually fish when he isn’t being used as a hostage or Mark getting out of fishing with Rusty.

    Spiderman-J.J. was there too so he must be in cahoots with Kraven too. Officer, arrest that man.

    Gil Thorp-”Nothing like a relaxing fire. It reminds me of the time I burned down the tattoo parlor and killed the owner and his assistant.”

    MW-This story is starting to piss me off. Mary was fine with Dill’s cake at the party and encouraged him to enter the contest. Now she is starting to criticize every little thing he does. This is all coming from the woman who makes unidentifiable lumps of food.

    Love Is-Is Mr. Love Is dead again?

  6. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    9 CL: I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I want to kill these two people. I want to shoot them in the gut and have them writhing on the floor at my feet, bleeding slowly to an agonised death. This is not a joke. I wish to exterminate them.

  7. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MW – Of course, Panel 2 is pure gold and will be snarked to death. But I don’t want Panel 1 to be left out. There is so much here:

    - The fact that there is video of the contest. Wasn’t it made clear that this is a “cake design” contest, not a “cake baking” contest? And yet here we have video of a contestant applying frosting to yet another plain, round, two-layer cake.

    - I guess the whole “Cake Deco” movement in cake design hasn’t made it to the West Coast, yet, where traditional models still prevail. Still, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of room for innovation, except for the already used “Hell, throw some ponies and trees and shit on the top of it”.

    - “I like this contestant’s technique. Notice how she applies the pink frosting with a knife, instead of spreading it with the palm of her hand the way the other contestants do? And she makes sure to hold the cake so that the action is on-camera, even though it makes it very difficult for her to see what she is doing or to apply the frosting properly.”

  8. Alter Ego
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    love is… displaying his medals on the mantelpiece because there was never anything to pin them to.

  9. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Shoe has really got to do a little research into the structure of birds’ beaks and the lack of teeth.

  10. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#6):

    If you think that is bad, try reading the dialogue out loud and pretending this was an actual person you knew who insisted on always talking this way.

    Urge to kill … rising … rising … rising …

  11. Weaselboy
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Sometimes the fruit hangs so low that you don’t even want to bother.

  12. nescio
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Who wants to see Mark Trail recycle Dave Letterman’s Uma/Oprah joke when introducing Rusty’s dog?

    “Bassy, Sassy. Sassy, Bassy.”

  13. Nekrotzar
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    So, Gil & spouse are kicking back, relaxing in front of a warm (if oversized) fire, having a drink, being snuggly — and Gil complains that they are working on the weekend? All those playdown losses are starting to make sense.

    Also: who is here is bass as to be a bass fisherman? If any, speak, for him have I offended.

  14. Mary Worrhless
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Wow.

    That’s all there is to a cake decorating contest, slathering a can of Duncan Hines frosting onto a two layer cake?

    Move over Duff, I am the next Ace of Cakes!!

  15. Nekrotzar
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#13):
    Let me try that again:
    who is here so bass as to be a bass fisherman? If any, speak, for him have I offended.

    Alright, it still doesn’t make any sense.

  16. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#11): Sometimes the fruit hangs so low that you don’t even want to bother

    Maybe switching from boxers to briefs would help?

  17. KreatureFeatures
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Love is … showing her your technique after the DVD ends.

  18. John C Fremont
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#y247): Personally, I think we’re about to find out that John Dill’s technique is to squeeze the hell outta that Charmin. After the DVD ends, of course.

  19. Dagger33
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    “Of course there’s no Rod Bassy, I just love to see Rusty’s spirit get crushed. I’ll be all, ‘I’m so sorry, Rusty, Rod Bassy told me he doesn’t like fishing with people whose first names also start with R.’ Hee hee, this is going to be great!”

  20. John C Fremont
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    GT – Gee I wish I had a blast furnace in my living room.

  21. Jon the Red
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    I think the last panel of Gil looking introspective and in deep thought would be awesome without the dialogue bubble; he’s got that “thinking man pose atop a throne of skulls in Hell” look about him that would be awesome to airbrush onto the side of a van.

  22. Santa Royale With Cheese
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    JP: I was going to rant about the “falling action” in this strip makes glaciers wanna say “wouldja hurry it up already” but instead I think the idea here is that the core demographic for this strip has jangly nerves and they need to be eased s-l-o-w-l-y into the next story arc. And that arc needs to set sail to somewhere where newspapers are on the bleeding edge of information dispersal.

    S-M: I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of some other superhero for Spidey to serve as the plucky comic relief. The cops are filling that role on a temporary basis.

  23. sporknpork
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    And from the fires of the volcano, Gil Thorp and everything that was his life were buried and frozen in the deep gray ashes of the modern-day Pompeii, perfectly preserving for future generations a time capsule of pure mediocrity and failure.

  24. Amos Snarkadder
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MT – “Maybe” … BWAHAHAHA!

    MT2 – I am so hoping Rod Bassy shows up at the tournament and announces in a robotic monotone, “All your bass are belong to us.”
    //Sorry. I can’t help myself sometimes.

  25. Rusty
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    GT: Gil and Mimi stare at clipboards and call it “working.” Swap out the clipboards for ipads and spend your weekend clicking on social media and surfing for porn like modern folks.

  26. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Actually, Rod Bassy’s real name is Bass Roddy. But he never liked it, so he changed it.

    He doesn’t really understand the concept of “opposites”.

  27. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    On this day in 1939, the first Superman comic strip appears:

    http://comicsodyssey.blogspot.com/2011/05/1939-addendum-superman-comic-strip.html

  28. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#7): That isn’t a cake design as far as I can see – it’s a “half cake” design.

    Then again, at least it IS a cake and not a Salvation Army drum or whatever it was Dill had peddled in the pool party.

  29. John Small Berries
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Given that there’s a urologist in the real world named Dr. Cockburn, “Rod Bassy” doesn’t seem so unusual.

  30. Here come the Judge
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    In the last panel of Spider-Man, the cop just seems embarrassed that he is even involved in this ridiculous exchange.

  31. wossname
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    RMMD – I had no idea June was a graduate of the Worth Academy of Platitudinous Meddling.

    DT – Aw hell, when I glimpsed the art before reading the words, I thought there was a severed hand in the box (seen in an X-ray or a silhouette for some reason). Now that would have been cool.

    Frazz – I was going to compare this to Pastis’ tortured puns, but it’s really more like Batiuk’s – start with a putative clever pun and work backward to create a setup.

    FW – That’ll teach you to say you’re blissfully happy in the Funkyverse! Instant smiting.

    MT – How many times can you say “bass” in one strip, Jackelrod? We get it! Bass! Here, try it like this:
    “I’m doing a story on a man named Rod Minnow. Have you heard of him?”
    “Oh yes, he’s a shark fisherman.”
    “He’s entering the state tuna fishing tournament. I’d like to find out how he catches so many catfish. I asked Rusty to go with me. Maybe he’ll catch a mullet.”
    “Oh good, I like sardines.”

    MW – No snark here (although snark is richly deserved), but I’d like to understand the basics of top-level professional cake wrassling. Do they make the cake at home and take the finished product to the contest? Or do they arrive at the contest with eggs, flour, sugar etc. and create it there?

  32. Écureuil Écumant
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT: Tomorrow night, after arriving in town for the bass tournament, Mark’s walking back to his hotel from IHOP when he gets jacked by a street thug named Robd Y’Ass.

  33. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#28):

    I was going to snark about the fact that it appears she is applying frosting to a cake that already has a slice cut out of it, but on further review it appears that it could just be a whole, two-layer cake that has had the edges cut off for … some … reason.

    Or, she could be planning to light up the contest by introducing her new Yellow Cake design, which has already won first prize in the Annual Tehran Enriched Cake Bake competition.

  34. Amos Snarkadder
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    MW – Cake porn. Who knew?

    FC – Okay. I get it that little kids have this different anatomy with odd body proportions that can make them look kinda pudgy. But these Keane Kids – they’re just obese! Is this supposed to be a cute observation about how children quickly outgrow their clothes, or is it that Dolly is just fat?

  35. LUJBEM FEJF
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Marky Mark Trail- Remember Mark, when grabbing Rod Bassy, you want to put your thumb in his mouth and your fingers under his ‘chin’ and this will allow you to hold him up so you can retrieve your lure (Rusty), and also take a picture of him. It also slightly paralyzes him so he won’t jump off and run into the woods.

  36. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    A3G ‘ZZZZZZZZZ’ isn’t a sleeping noise in this case, it’s just Margo’s processor shutting down for the night.

    FW See? SEE? You allowed yourself to be slightly happy for a few minutes and your father has a stroke. REMEMBER THIS, CHILDREN!!! THERE IS
    ONLY SO MUCH HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND IF YOU TAKE MORE THAN YOUR FAIR SHARE KARMA WILL KILLS YOUR PARENTS!

    MW You know, yesterday I would have never thought that watching a video of someone icing a cake could be so creepy. How wrong I was. Thanks Mary Worth!

    Also: is this the video from last year’s contest? If so, are contestants supposed to decorate their cake on site, with the clock ticking? God I hope so, there’s nothing that would be as funny as Dill frantically slathering icing on a cake while yelling at Mary as an audience looks on….

  37. Evan
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    I have to assume Rod Bassy will have the head of a fish, like an obscure Dick Tracy villan.

  38. The Grandstander
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH: OK, no one is going to tell me that Karen Moy is NOT writing this story arc specifically for the readers of this blog. Cake design? Really? Honestly, those stooges who throw batting practice at the All-Star Game Home Run Derby don’t serve it up any easier than Moy is doing with this arc. I find myself rushing to read Mary in the morning now just so I can the jump onto Comics Curmudgeon to read all the snark. Hell, I’ve even got my wife into Mary Worth over this one (or maybe she just wants a daily glimpse of John Dill’s manly tuft of chest hair).

  39. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#31): re: MW — For a design contest (where taste isn’t part of the judging), yes, the cake would be brought already baked, in either rounds or long slabs that can be cut onsite into whatever shapes the design calls for.

  40. Widdle Jeffy
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Dolly is ready for The Biggest Loser.

    Not because she is fat but because all the kids are going to compete.

    My money is on Jeffy.

    Place your bets now.

  41. AhClem
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    GT – Since there is so little money to be made coaching high school sports, Gil has started working weekends by smelting iron ore in his fireplace.

  42. seismic-2
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    FW: Ah, another glimpse into life in Westview, Ohio, the city where the Optimist’s Club was counting on the Mayans’ being right.

    A3G: Does Margo still have her boots on? I was hoping she would take them off so that Greg could put them in the closet, see Evan hiding there, and then maybe we could finally learn what’s in that stupid box.

    GT: “We need to find a life! It’s the weekend, and we’re both working.” Gil, you need to find a clue. You are Mimi are high school basketball coaches. High school basketball teams actually play games on the weekend. Didn’t anyone ever explain to you just how this all works, back when you got your teaching certificate by taking that correspondence course from the Famous Coaches School?

    SM Panel 1: J. Jonah has a strange way of trying to get all kissy-face with a Las Vegas cop, but Charlton Heston isn’t having any of it.

  43. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#26):

    Really? I heard that his parents wanted him to become a singer, so they named him ‘Rod Bassey’ after their two favourite vocalists. Of course, he rebelled against them, got into an underground prize fishing circuit and changed his name to ‘Bassy’.

  44. Pozzo
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    So following this formula, I guess Rusty’s last name is “Expectations.”

  45. Tophat
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    “You can’t let Spider-Man go! He was in cahoots with Kraven!! Also, I like your cologne, we should kiss.”

  46. NonnyMus
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Silly Curmudgeon! That’s not an out-of-control blaze! That’s a painting of an out-of-control blaze which Mia and Scott have placed under their mantle in a fit of hipster irony!

  47. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#42):

    re: A3G

    I was hoping that they would just completely forget about Evan and this whole storyline without a word. Then, two years from now, Margo will open her closet and find a dessicated corpse.

    “Who the hell is this?” she’ll ask

    “Oh my god, it’s Evan, the guy who used to work from you when you were a publicist!” Lu Ann will say.

    “Evan? Publicist? Not ringing any bells. Speaking of bells, I’m late for my job at the train station! That choo-choo to Chattanooga isn’t going to conduct itself!”

  48. word-doctor
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MT: Two words, Rusty. “Double Whammy.”
    FC: Two words, Dolly. “Buffalo Bill.”

  49. Froggy
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#34): MW: So are you saying that the woman in the video is going to “accidentally” misplace her spatulas? And that she’s going to have to spread the rest of the icing using a “tool” creatively provided by Ramon the strapping young baker’s assistant? And that after the spreading is completed she’s going to demonstrate the importance of clean up? Because I’m totally ready for that (as is Mr. Dill).

  50. TheDiva
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark decided he didn’t like the whole “being taken hostage” thing, and wants Rusty along to draw the kidnappers away.

    SM: Didn’t Spider-Man used to be better at comebacks than this? He used to be better at everything else, so I’m guessing this would be no different…

  51. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#46): Re; GT

    It is actually a “Cozy Fireplace” screen saver, running on the flat-screen TV that the Thorpes had installed in the firplace, using the money they save from the Athletic Department budget by allowing the local homeless population to step in as pro-bono coaching assistants.

  52. Doctor Handsome
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Rod Bassy doesn’t know that his mysterious rival, Fisherman X, is secretly his half-brother Net.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    all right, why the heck didn’t anybody TELL me that OotS was back in action?!?

    Frazz: that’s almost Pastisian. It’s also not the first time that concept has been used as the punchline.

    A&J: d’awwwww.

    rCdS: *sez ‘hey bugz!’ to the lobsters*

    Lio: win. just ever so much f-n win.

    SBp: *snurk*

    Bizarro: that would have been lame as a lolcat, and is not improved by the format.

    Lockhorns: hipshot Loretta showing off the junk in her trunk. *brainbleach*

    RwO: Forks weren’t invented until the Renaissance or thereabouts.

    6Cx: *SNURK!*

    Retail: *saved the queeksgirl*

  54. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .supporting the troops.

  55. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: So, I’ve never watched a Spiderman movie — does Spidey adopt a fake voice so his boss won’t recognize it when they talk? Because I totally hear him doing a PeeWee Herman voice here.

  56. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53): all right, why the heck didn’t anybody TELL me that OotS was back in action?!?

    I’ve been compulsively checking every few days to make sure it didn’t drop off my radar. Yay, new strips!

  57. un malpaso
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    This should be fun! Some other good names for Mark Trail enemies:

    “Sideburnsy Hateswoods”

    “Mink Trapper” (sounds like a porn star!)

    “Fracker Bribesworth”

    “Shifty J. Nestwrecker”

    “Otter Throttler”

    … etc.

  58. Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#55): Supposedly his mask sufficiently muffles his voice to disguise it from his friends, family and coworkers.

  59. Doctor Handsome
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Are Vegas cops like the guards at Buckingham Palace, or is there some other reason JJJ isn’t getting tased?

  60. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Little known fact:

    Rod Bassy was originally supposed to be called “Kilgore Trout,” but Elrod’s syndicate wanted to avoid a potential lawsuit from Kurt Vonnegut’s estate.

    Incidentally, Catfish’s last name is “Frye.”

  61. TheDiva
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    9CL: First things first: Amos will have to gain enough testosterone to grow facial hair.

    A3G: Must be hard to lie down to sleep when you’re just a torso.

    BRSG: I can’t help it; I’m a sucker for a Noodle Implements gag.

    FW: No, Batiuk. No. Darrin and Jessica have been married for what, ten years now? At that point, if the “I will stand by your side in your time of crisis because we’re married and that’s what married people do” thing isn’t such a given that it doesn’t even need to be thought about, let alone spoken aloud, there is seriously something wrong with the entire relationship and they should probably seek couples therapy. Also, with all the twisted, lopsided mouths in this strip how can you tell if someone has had a stroke?

    Luann: And that was how Luann got caught sexting in the library and was banned for life.

    MW: The more I see of this arc, the more I feel Moy and Giella learned about cake decorating by going to that one aisle in Joann’s. The team to beat will be the one that uses the Elmo-shaped pan.

    Pibgorn: So, the entire Jeannie costume was pointless, apart from the fetish value. Not that I’m surprised. Also, apparently magic is an STD.

  62. Holly Folly
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Ah nothing like the relaxing blaze of pure Hellfire.

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#52): I smell an Aquaman reference in there somewhere. (Yep, something fishy this way comes!)

  64. erdmann
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    MW: The second panel should have featured a guest appearance by Mr. Punch. Outraged that Mary had stolen his line, he could have battered her and Dill with his stick, thus sparing us the discussion of Dill’s “technique.”

  65. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Evan (#37): I have to assume Rod Bassy will have the head of a fish, like an obscure Dick Tracy villan.

    Who are you calling obscure?

    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/18/08252012.gif/sr=1

  66. Dave Dahl
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    MW: “Dear Penthouse Forum: I didn’t think it could happen to me … “

  67. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Dave Dahl (#66):

    MW: “Dear Penthouse Forum AARP Quarterly: I didn’t think it could happen to me … “

  68. I speak Jive
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    9CL – A beard will help disguise Amos’s lack of a chin. I don’t know what the chinless females in this strip can do to compensate. God, I loathe these people.

    Pluggers – Shouldn’t her grocery bag be from the Piggly Wiggly?

  69. Anondod
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Spidey: Kraven requires more skill, intelligence and style from his minions. That’s why he uses trained monkeys instead of Spider-Man.

  70. Anondod
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Anondod (#69): And that wasn’t supposed to be all-bold. Whoops.

  71. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    So, Gil and Mimi represent Cerberus, guarding the gateway to the fiery underworld of playdowns?

  72. MWDG
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MW: I agree with posters that John Dill seems like a total creep. But honestly I think Mary is leading him on. She is basically begging for a Rihanna style beat down!

  73. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#5):

    ”Nothing like a relaxing fire. It reminds me of the time I burned down the tattoo parlor and killed the owner and his assistant.”

    “And then there was that fire at the bootleg DVD store… and let’s not forget Hobart — nothing like a 3-alarm house fire to made a fella ease up.”

    @Weaselboy (#11):

    Sometimes the fruit hangs so low that you don’t even want to bother.

    Funny, Jeff said the same thing about Mary’s boobs.

    @Here come the Judge (#30):

    In the last panel of Spider-Man, the cop just seems embarrassed that he is even involved in this ridiculous exchange.

    I have to wonder how bad a police has to fuck up in the Spiderverse to get assigned Spider-duty. I’m thinking its reserved for the ones who, say, beat the shit out of an alderman’s son, but not quite to death — or the ones who reported it.

    @Amos Snarkadder (#34):

    Cake porn. Who knew?

    See: Cake Wrecks.

    @Amos Snarkadder (#34):

    But these Keane Kids – they’re just obese!

    That’s what happens when your Prepper parents have been feeding you nothing but MREs and astronaut ice cream since the day your were born.

    @pugfuggly (#36):

    ‘ZZZZZZZZZ’ isn’t a sleeping noise in this case, it’s just Margo’s processor shutting down for the night.

    I thought it was her vibrator switching on. She’s got it on a timer.

    @The Grandstander (#38):

    …or maybe she just wants a daily glimpse of John Dill’s manly tuft of chest hair).

    Never show chest hair in the first act unless it’s going to end up in the frosting in the third.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#60): One bird said to Rusty, ‘Poo-tee-weet?’

  74. seismic-2
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    GT: “We need to find a life. You know, one that’s just about to become a death. Because frankly, this whole home-crematorium business just hasn’t been as profitable as I had hoped.”

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @Dave Dahl (#66), @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#67):

    MW: “Dear Penthouse Forum AARP Quarterly Dan Savage: I didn’t think it could happen to me …”

  76. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#y340):

    MS Basic: http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=22961
    MS QBasic: available unofficially at several sites (including the very unofficial compiler), but most commonly found here — http://www.softpedia.com/get/Programming/Coding-languages-Compilers/Qbasic.shtml

    There are plenty of free C, Basic, Fortran, etc interpreters all over the Internet that will work with current Windows versions (too many to list, really). However, for any semi-heavy interpretive/programatic lifting, I’ve switched to Linux versions (specifically Ubuntu)

  77. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#75): MW: “Dear Penthouse Forum AARP Quarterly Dan Savage Wendy: I didn’t think it could happen to me …”

  78. yaoi huntress earth
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    FW: Who wants to guess that the stroke messed him mom up so bad that they have pull the plug on her?

  79. Mibbitmaker
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Late, “busy” morning oversnarpologies…..

    S-M: Later, we see JJJ in a padded cell, in a straitjacket…
    JJJ: “Cahoots! Cahoots!! Cahoots!!! CAHOOTS!!!!!!!”

    MT: Note the singular context when Mark talks about Rusty fishing. Kid really thinks he’s going fishing with his old man, the poor sap. “Rusty, good news/bad news. Good news: you’ll finally get to go fishing. Bad news: ….alone.” Cue violins…

    GT: Mia Paige is really really tiny, so, in order to play, she needs to stand on a couple of moderately tall, rickety posts. Good luck with that, MiniMia….

  80. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    for the Didactic Duo and a few others.

    next, in Love Is. . . .

    next, on the Food Network.

    I think that I am spending too much time on the internet. I matched the caption on this otter pic before I even read it. [*]

    happy corgi haz a lap.

  81. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    yup, I was pretty much right.

    So far in 2013, 11 of the first 16 Daily Puppies have been some sort of Retriever or Retriever mix, including the first 6 days of the year, and today’s ikkle Golden.

  83. FeralCanadian
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    A fun new Mark Trail drinking game! Everytime they say some form of Bass/Bassy, add a shot of whiskey to my coffee. So farth thisp marnning um upt too 3 shoutz””””””””mnoknm;lk;okko,;l,,,oijm………………..

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#52): I see what you did there.

    well played.

  85. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    GT — That 3rd panel looks like Gil was a window seat on a Southwest Airlines 737 flying through hell. Who makes fireplace fires that big, anyway?

  86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    this is what happens when you drop acid and watch Ponies. o_O (safe for work, if not for sanity, but on a Tumblr that does include some nsfw stuff.)

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    drat. this.

    not using Preview /fail.

  88. Sequitur
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Psst. queek. Check out the pic here…@Sequitur (Y#308):

  89. Walker of Dog
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    GT: Poor Shelby Hunter is about to be invited into the worst throuple ever.

    GT2: Are they practicing kickball? Are drop kicks allowed in kickball? If not, Scott Fowler needs to find even more extra practice time for whatever sport he’s flailing away at.

    MT: Rod Bassy? Even the porn names in this strip make me sad.

  90. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#89): re MT: I’m convinced that there is a sticky note on the floor somewhere, originally attached to the 1st panel where Rod Bassy is mentioned, that says something like: “EDITOR: Please help me come up with a less lame name for this bass fisting fishing character I’ve come up with, before publication. Thanks JE”

  91. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: They don’t really use padded cells anymore, Peter. Mostly, it’s drugs and talk therapy. Shock treatment is still used for the treatment of severe depression, though it’s called electro-convulsive therapy these days. I’d recommend it for everyone in this strip, depressed or not.

    Apt. 3-G: Does Frank Bolle have to buy Margaret Shulock a drink if she forces him to draw the characters from a new angle? I GOT HIPS INTO THE SCENE, NOW PAY UP, JERKWAD. Does it count as a new character if we see Margo’s exposed midriff? Sick puppies want to know.

    The creative process at Archie: “Dude, look at this strip from ’74!” “That’s gold, baby. All I have to do is update the colors a smidge, and … done.” “What about the ‘Yeah, Baby, Woo’? That seems a bit dated. Do you think we should update it?” … “BWAHAHA!!!” [Terrorist fist jab] “Seriously. Who wants a drink?”

    9 Chickweed Lane: Wimpus.

    The Family Circus: The only reason for Dolly to be so worried about her pants shrinking is the sure knowledge of what Thel does with fat children. The memory of Dance Camp is burned into her very soul, even at this tender age.

    Herman: When I was a kid, this strip was fantastic precisely because the jokes didn’t really make sense. I always assumed that there some kind of bizarre humor that was just beyond my reach. Things haven’t changed much.

    The Lockhorns: Presumably Bunny and John got so crocked last night that they couldn’t stomach the thought of writing a joke, much less seeing one another. So one of them phoned in a mild observation about life from his or her bed, leaving it to the staff to come up with a suitable piece of clip art. And then they went back to sleeping off their bender. See, two can play this game.

    Mark Trail: Edited from the papers: three weeks of Mark walking around saying to no one in particular. “Huh huh huh. ‘Bass.’ Rhymes with ‘ass.’ Huh huh huh.”

    Mary Worth: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Mary Worth taken out-of-context!

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: “A loaded gun is not a good strategy! I’d recommend a handful of pills, such as the pain medication you have stacked up around the room, combined with a fifth of scotch.”

    Scary-Go-Round: Look at the body language in this strip! Just look at it!!

  92. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#79):

    S-M: Later, we see JJJ in a padded cell, in a straitjacket…
    JJJ: “Cahoots! Cahoots!! Cahoots!!! CAHOOTS!!!!!!!”

    Funny as that would be, it’d be funnier still for JJJ to be sporting a yellow polka-dot poly-vinyl muumuu and topknot as he strides past a giant doggie head.

    In fact, Zippy and newspaper Spider-Man might both benefit exponentially from a merger. Keep Bill Griffith on as writer/artist; replace Zippy and Griffy with JJJ and Peter, respectively; make Spider-Man, incomprehensibly, a separate character; and work in the super-villains as secondary characters and/or Dingburg residents.

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#88): I saw that! I squeed. :-D
    (I just hadn’t gotten back to yesterthread to thank you for it yet.)

  94. Red Greenback
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    “Bill wants me to do a story on a man named Garland McIcing! Have you heard of him?”

    “Yes, he’s a cake decorator man!

    “He is entered in the Santa Royale Cake Decorating Tournament, and I am going to try to get an interview with him! – I asked Rusty to go with me… maybe Garland can show him his ‘technique’!

    “I’m sure he’s excited about that! Oh… one more thing Mark.”

    “WHAT is that?”

    “Keep a close eye on Rusty this time, some of those cakes can be big and dangerous! I wouldn’t want you to have to steal a jack and slug a policeman again.”

  95. Legend of the Arctic
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    If they need another option on offense, why not give Scott Fowler a shot? He appears to have the ability to make a basketball levitate with his mind, which ought to be useful in a high school game.

  96. NoahSnark
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    The cop was content to write J. Jonah Jameson off as a harmless kook until he started claiming he was the head of a viable newspaper. That marked him as dangerously delusional.

  97. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Rod Bassy dropped the “e” from his last name after a falling-out with his sister. He still insists that Paul McCartney’s “Live And Let Die” was the best Bond theme.

  98. Legend of the Arctic
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Re: Gil Thorp – If slumping on a couch drinking wine counts as “working,” then I really need to rethink my understanding of this country’s unemployment crisis.

  99. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Agnes: Reader’s Digest. Do they still do that “condensed” book thing? “Removing unnecessary words from literature since 1950.”

    CTH: Now, robots that carry martini glasses on their head – that could be a real breakthrough.

    Frazz: Another Fibonacci gag! If only they could work an Easter Island statue into it.

    Fred Bassett: Unphased? No. “Unedited.”

    GA: I’m no good at cards, but maybe if I kept one of those magnetic travel chess sets in the car…

    Love is…: just creeping me out. It’s like Pluggers. There is nothing they can’t or won’t cram in there.

    // Love is… grave robbers from outer space! Pluggers know inflatable coccyxes aren’t just for breakfast anymore. Love is… an Easter Island statue who plays by his own rules! Pluggers are… comically oversized! Love is… never saying, sorry, it’s the pirate costume. Pluggers know the difference between Homoiousians and Homoousians. Love is… comically oversized! Pluggers speak French with a pronounced Gascon accent. Love is… playing the Budapest Gambit in five minute chess. Pluggers make the two-backed beast, but won’t dance the mortise and tenon. Love is… dancing the mortise and tenon. Pluggers sail Optimist prams! Love is… boiling your hot dogs in beer! Pluggers believe in limited atonement. Love is… total depravity! Pluggers sleep the fabled Odin-sleep! Love is… the last of the mojitos. Pluggers are probably outside. Love is… a moue of remonstrance. Pluggers always quote Albert Camus. Love is… quoting Pluggers. Pluggers eschew floccinaucinihilipilification. Love is… oopus-bumpus in a trebuchet. Dave used to be a Plugger (sigh). Love is… alive, but shouldn’t be.

  100. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    BR,SG: I think you can find at least one monkey over in Spider-Man, Dr. Mel. Oh, and there’s a group of 3 chimps, too.

    MT: Mark, before you cheerfully inform Cherry that you’re taking off again and bringing Rusty—not her—along with you, you might wait until she’s a safe distance from that knife.

  101. Shrug, with the Model T of Jokes
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#y258):

    “It’s rapidly becoming a metaphor for how variety in one’s life is an illusion. You always get grape jelly.”

    Or, as Henry Ford was reputed to say, “you can get any flavor of grape jelly, as long as it’s licorice.”

  102. Lawyerbob
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MT: This conversation, like all Mark-Cherry interactions, works much better if you read it as cosplay and a prelude to sex. In panel one, Mark approaches Cherry with the seductive offer. In panel two, they exchange bawdy words in code, and in panel 3 they head off to the bedroom. The unseen panel 4 would be Mark and Cherry in the bedroom, undressing as they talk about Pops, and then we cut to the long exterior view of the cabin with the giant squirrel or whatever. You can also imagine them as just having had sex. Try it–it will enhance your Mark Trail reading experience exponentially!

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#92): Comrade Denny for President!

  104. Shrug, Chucking In Another Obvious Gag
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Mr Frog (#y214):

    “DT: What secret has Professor Hinkley dredged up which had lain buried at the bottom of a flooded town for over half a century?”

    Well, gee, Mr. Frog, you should know — it’s going to be a frog that sings “Hello ma honey, hello ma baby…” (but only when no one else is watching), isn’t it?

  105. Austria
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    The funniest part of today’s Archie is the second panel. YEAH BABY WOO! I’m trying not to crack up.

  106. Shrug, Being Some Kind of Wise-Glass
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y315):

    “How very interesting. I, as it happens, am a Pirate King. And it is, it is, a Glorious Thing, to be a Pirate King.”

    Isn’t that what Corningware executives used to sing in the board room?

    Oh, wait. *Pirate* king. That’s different. That’s very different.

    Never mind.

  107. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#99): I’m really tempted to quantify a number of the usual misconstrued tropes, and see which ones are most common for a weeks worth of strips. Basically pre-picking the captions, and seeing how many fit.

    “Surprise buttsehks” will be one, as will “some form of prostitution”, and probably “swinging with friends, family and/or strangers”

    any suggestions for another one or two?

  108. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    GT/MT crossover:

    “Now that you brought it up, how about Shelby Hunter?”

    “Hunter? I need someone to shoot baskets, not guns.”

    Oh, and Mrs. Thorp has a glass of wine in her hand and one at her feet. Merlot with a pinot noir chaser.

    The last panel of GT is cool, in the sense that Gil’s completely innocuous suggestion set against the backdrop of a raging inferno gives it an evil twist. I can only read it as “How about …. SHELBY HUNTER! Bwah ha ha ha!”

  109. rich
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I’m still waiting for “When a plugger says ‘Papa’s got a brand new bag’…he’s talking about his colostomy bag.”

    http://twitter.com/#!/RichFeinberg1

  110. Stev0
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    There are so many hilarious things in today’s Gil Thorp they need clipboards to hold the checklist showing them all, but my favorite is panel one: they just can’t hold on to the damn ball!

  111. Walker of Dog
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#90): Another poor bass seduced by the glamour of the big tournament.

    Also, ‘sticky note’? Eww.

  112. Bill
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail, 1/16/13

    What about Busty “Red” Nympho or Hosemedown Imonfire?

  113. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m looking forward to the next story arc — I hope I’ll see it, I’m not getting any younger — where one of Mary’s friends enters the Tour de France on a three speed Schwinn beach cruiser.

  114. Red Greenback
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    GT: Here, try these options on offense:
    -violation
    -trespass
    -breach
    -crime
    -fault
    -infraction
    -malfeasance
    -misdeed
    -peccadillo

    You’re welcome.

  115. Mardou Fox
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Mark, Ron Bassy, and Editorbillellis are really in cahoots. Bassy and Editorbill have agreed to help Mark cure Rusty, once and for all, of all this whining about fishing! Oh, BOY, Rusty, do we have an adventure IN store for you!

  116. Mardou Fox
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

  117. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: How much “technique” is required doing a flat layer on a cylindrical cake? I could do that much. The tough parts are sculpting the cake into something imaginitive and doing creative things with icing. If Dill hasn’t already mastered the base coat, what is he doing in the Santa Royale Cake Olympiad?

  118. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Here he comes, here comes Rod Bassy
    He’s a demon with reels.
    He’s a demon and he’s gonna be castin’ after someone.

    He’s fishin’ with you so you better look alive.
    He’s busy revvin’ up a powerful Johnson.

    And when the odds are against him
    And there’s dangerous work to do
    You bet your life Rod Bassy
    Will see it through.

    Go Rod Bassy!
    Go Rod Bassy!
    Go Rod Bassy, go!

  119. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#107): I don’t think I quite understand. Something like the New Yorker caption contest, only with Family Circus, Lockhorns, and Pluggers drawings?

    “Surprise buttsehks” will be one, as will “some form of prostitution”, and probably “swinging with friends, family and/or strangers”

    You aren’t, by any chance, in middle school, are you? I hate to ask, but if that were the case, I’d be kind of uncomfortable continuing this conversation.

  120. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Is it signifcant that Cherry admits that she knows this Rod Bassy character — “Yes, he’s a bass fisherman!” — before attempting to slash her wrist?

  121. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young (#58): That would be cool if every time he spoke, people kept saying “What? What?” or misinterpreting what he said.

    “Kraven’s getting away!”
    “Did he just tell Kraven to have a nice day?”

  122. Shrug, In Awe
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mardou Fox (#116):

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#113): COTW!!!

    Seconded.

  123. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#120): Yes, everyone in LoFo seems to know Rod Bassy. The wife, the kid, the editor in New York City – everyone except the local writer for the sports and wildlife magazine. “Don’t know Rod Bassy? What, have you been living on a desert island for the past few… oh, wait, you have.”

  124. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#117):

    How much “technique” is required doing a flat layer on a cylindrical cake?

    Some, I’d say.

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#76): No FORTRAN, eh? Oh well, never mind.

    // But gosh, if we could just find a good free COBOL distribution Now there’s fun for the entire family!

  126. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#61): Re FW: Wha? Ten years? I thought those two had been married for maybe six months or so, just figuring out this whole married thing. A couple days ago I almost complimented Batiuk for it, on depicting a relationship accurately.

  127. Mooncattie
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Any rebroadcast, retransmission, or account of this contest, without the express written consent of the Commissioner of Major League Cake Designing, is prohibited”…and, just like that, the Worth/Dill gold ribbon winning entry was humiliatingly disqualified and handed to the second-place team, Hot Doctor’s Pink Car Cake.

    MT: It’s quite cute how house-chained Cherry Trail knows all about Rod Bassy, while famous, well-traveled Trees and Stuff nature writer Mark doesn’t have a clue. “He always wins, because he brings his own bass. Also, his deep bass voice lulls me off to dreamland all those lonely nights when you’re not around. I mean, he brings his own bass.”

  128. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Archie: At first I thought that the Andrews were trying to asphixiate themselves in a suicide pact by starting the car in the garage with the door closed. It appears as if the door is open, but the sky has turned sick with radioactive fallout. They are nonchalantly on their way to flee for safety, when a sudden reminder of their son sends them into depression. It was, of course, Archie’s fault that the neutron bomb went off in the first place.

  129. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    OK, now Karen Moy is just screwing with us, teasing us.

  130. Calico
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#129):
    C’ést moi. I had an auto update last night and I did delete cookies today.

  131. Calico
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Also liking how John Dill points in the air with BOTH hands.
    That could be part of his foreplay technique.

  132. Victor Von
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    “How about Shelby Hunter? She’d be pretty good indoor-bonfire-fuel, right?”

  133. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#4): Mark thinks Cherry knows Rod Bassy from reading the Sport Angler magazines he leaves in the outhouse. Cherry is more familiar with him from the magazines she hides in her underwear drawer.

    @Weaselboy (#11): Whatever we did to deserve this, let’s keep doing it, please. I especially like the way the artist left the rectangle of the television set almost completely unobstructed, so that even the least skilled among us can easily replace the image for a mashup.

    @wossname (#31): DT: I knew the university professors didn’t need detective help opening the box, only dealing with what was inside it. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t contain human remains. I like the palm print. Perhaps it’s
    made with the blood of the victim.

  134. Comrade Denny
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Mooncattie (#127): I’m wondering about MLCD’s commentators … do they do the play-by-play guy/color guy combo like other major sports? Do they have the former-pro who shares insightful insider wisdom like “What John Dill needs to do to win this is get some frosting on that cake…”?

    @Calico (#131): He’s just that versatile! “Put the fondant flower there, Mary!” [right point] “Wait! There!” [left point] He’s an un-fucking-stoppable cake baking decor-making monster he is!

    @Victor Von (#132): My other thought this morning was, “PEW! PEWPEWPEW!”

  135. Binder's Butter Beans
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: “So, how’s your technique?”

    “I’ll show you after the DVD is over!”

    *boom chicka wow wow*

  136. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    JP: Excuse me, growing solar power? That’s like … wow, look at it. That’s intense man. The sun, going into the ground, and then … power! coming out of it. … Hey do you wanna go for tacos?

  137. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#134):

    @Victor Von (#132): My other thought this morning was, “PEW! PEWPEWPEW!”

    Was supposed to be @Calico (#131).

  138. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#133):

    I think you have it backwards: Mark is feigning ignorance since he’s obviously more familiar with the Rods in his gentleman’s special interest magazine.

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#76): That Microsoft Small Basic, man, is like 5.7 Megabytes! That’s like fifteen floppy disks! It’ll take up more than half my hard drive!

    // Is it Hercules compatible?

  140. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    When will I learn that you people aren’t kidding when you reference something bad happening in Funky Winkerbean? Will the wife be killed or only horribly maimed in the car accident they get into on the way to the hospital?

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#119): what I was thinking was, pick 5 alt-captions on a Sunday, and then see how many of the next weeks worth of Love Is strips fit which ones. tally up the score on the next Sunday.

    given that I once did “suprise buttsehks” for three days in a row of Love Is strips, and “compensated dating” for a couple in one week another time, I think it would be amusing to see which alt-trope comes out on top.

  142. Horace Broon
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Meanwhile, Evan’s thinking “Darn it, Greg’s just taken a drunken Margo to bed! And now I’m stuck here and can’t dig up any dirt on him for Aunt Cathy!”

    ASM: There was a very clever scene in a comic book recently, where JJJ starts to claim Spider-Man is responsible for an army of Moloids invading the surface world, and then stops because even he realises how ridiculous he’s being. Meanwhile, Stan just rehashes the same schticks he worked out in 1962.

    Curtis: So if Diane’s Frasier and Greg’s Martin, who does that make Curtis? Eddie?

    DT: I’m usually on board with the current creative team, but I can’t get worked up about this one. “We found a murder confession from 70 years ago! It’s like Cold Case, if they started their investigation with a signed confession!

    H&L: That actually makes a lot of sense. Here in Britain, Walls’ Ice Cream was a spin-off from Walls’ Butchers, and according to my dad they used to send the ice cream vans out in the winter selling hot dogs. I’m pretty sure most of the burger and tea vans that cluster around our autumn and winter civic events are ice cream vans during the two weeks of the British summer.

  143. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#138): I was wondering how Mark could indulge his tastes in magazine subscriptions even though he’s always out of town when the mail arrives, but in one stroke I realized the truth and the answer to the oddity @Old Folkie (#3) found: plain brown wrappers, marked “confidential, to be opened by addressee only.”

  144. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#119): oh, and no, I am not in middle school, although my sense of humor often gets stuck there.

  145. Calico
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    The comics I subscibe to seem weird today, but maybe that’s because I have sinusitus, a touch of laryngitis, and am on antibiotics.

    Even in my condition, today’s Zits is just gross.

    Dagwood dreams that he’s actually living in a Democracy, with free speech. He will awaken, only to find he’s still in that horrible Communist compound in North Korea.

    JP – Might that be Chekhov’s Letter Opener?

    FW – Of course.

    FC – Stop eating ice cream and donuts.

    Beetle – Do doctors even use the rubber hammer anymore?

    Curtis – Like son, like father.

  146. Calico
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    *subscribe*

    Oh, and if any of you are bold enough to create, wear, and show a photo of you here wearing a creative “Smoochy Boyz” T-Shirt, I will donate $20 online to a charity of your choice. First post only, as I am not part of the Driver/Parker clan.
    : )

  147. Da Coconino Kid
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125):

    OpenCobol? TinyCobol? Cobol for GCC?

    Now, can anyone recommend a good APL for my Android phone?

  148. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#145): “Do doctors even use the rubber hammer anymore?”

    yes, although I’ve had a few that used finger taps to check reflexes.

  149. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#145):

    JP – Might that be Chekhov’s Letter Opener?

    What, never show a letter opener in the first act unless it opens a letter in the third? Huh … the pacing sounds just about right for Judge Parker.

  150. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m not excited standing here with this metal device in my hand. Oh, I know, I’m holding the wrong piece of electronics.

    Click * Whirrrrrrrr…

    Luann: Oh yeah, now I’m feelin’ it! Oh YEAH!

  151. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): The last time I used FORTRAN was using Ubuntu Linux– sorry. I would think that with enough work you could find an “unofficial” copy of MS Fortran for download (and get it working with Windows), but my 5 minutes of searching only found purchasable versions.

    This — http://www.silverfrost.com/11/ftn95_overview.aspx — is what I came up with, though, for FORTRAN/Windows.

  152. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

  153. hogenmogen
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    So is Peter Parker going to come back with photos of Kraven and Spidey, taken from cameras webbed out of the way someplace?

    JJJ: Hey, I was there, but you weren’t, so how did you get these pics?

    Parker (thinks: I have to throw him off!) Here’s a pic of you and your showgirl friend.

    JJJ: Yes, taken from the perspective of the ceiling. Odd.

    Parker: Here’s a picture of your showgirl from her website!

    JJJ: Anyone could have given me …. woah. She can do that with her… ? How is that pose even possible?

  154. seismic-2
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#125): You want your FORTRAN? We’ve got your FORTRAN right here!

    Ah, for the pristine purity of a well-structured Computed GOTO branch point in your flow chart! The overlay of all sorts of unrelated arrays via EQUIVALENCE statements and the passing to your SUBROUTINEs of everything including the kitchen sink via a well-organized (snicker) COMMON block!

    I tell you, they just don’t write spaghetti code the way they used to. (Now they have much better ways, such as C++ template meta-programming.)

  155. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#142): Love is… an army of Moloids invading the surface world.

    Thanks. Missed that one.

  156. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    MW-Notice how loose her hand is as she spreads the frosting on the cake with a trowel.

    MW 2-That’s how you put frosting on the cake. You don’t just scoop out lumps of frosting and put them on the cake. You have to spread out the frosting.

    Hi and Lois-That is a damn good idea.

  157. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139): If you need Herc, then QBASIC is the only way to go! I’ve got a floppy instance (complete with a stripped-down MS-DOS 5 instance) running one of my shortwave beacons right now on an old 8086 right now. Probably uses more electricity than the transmitter does, so I’ll eventually have to move it to a virtual instance on one of my newer servers.

    Back in the day, I even used this same setup (I’m a sucker for computer nostalgia, so I kept the unit all these years) to develop and run a weather prediction model. At double-precision, it would only take 48 hours to crank out a 24-hour prediction! Fortunately, I was able to run it on one of the college’s new 386s when it came time to demonstrate.

  158. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#154): I never had the patience or attention span to write real spaghetti code. The best I could do was write elbow macaroni code. It was confusing, but short.

  159. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#153): I had completely forgotten that Peter Parker was ostensibly taking photographs. I didn’t even see him with a camera.

  160. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MT-Rusty’s excited like one of those retarded little puppies that can only run around in circles and will pee on the carpet.

    MT 2-Rusty’s so excited he’s been in his room for hours polishing his fishing rod.

    Gil Thorp-”Isn’t this relaxing. Sitting here by a roaring fire contemplating who we should kill next.”

  161. Downpuppy, Marker of Snails
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#145): How dare you question the hammer technique of a Doctor with a genuine strap headlamp?

  162. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#154): Good old-fashioned programming techniques have pretty much gone by the wayside, IMHO.

    I had the (mis)fortune once of teaching an Intro Programming for non-IT majors (mostly business and medical students). I thought I’d be a good boy and make sure I taught basic flowcharting. Of course, my student-assistance (an IT major) had never seen a flowchart or the template used to make all the nice graphics with (he’d never even heard of a slide-rule either, but that’s another story).

    This boy, who was supposedly proficient in C++ and VB, also couldn’t make heads-nor-tails of the QBasic I chose to use for the class. He’d never heard of storyboarding or testing the logic on paper first. What do modern programmers do, just start typing and adding pre-made modules until the errors all disappear?

  163. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158):

    10 PRINT “Mudges Rule!”
    20 GOTO 10

  164. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#6) & @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#10): So what you’re saying is, McE’s perspicacious dialogue imbues his characters with such semblance of life, you feel compelled to interact with them.

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#157): Did you install the 8087 math coprocessor? That could easily cut your 48 hour computation for a 24 hour forcast to 36 hours or less.

    REM I don’t remember if Qbasic supported a math coprocessor. You might have to do an Assembler subroutine call. And I can’t find my Learn Qbasic in 24 Hours book, minced oath!

    REM I never did finish that… always fell asleep by hour 18, and had to start over again.

  166. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158):

    We have an in-house application called the Plasma Secure Transfer Application – PSTA. The original developer had left the company, and during the recent upgrade we ran into a lot of issues with the code – parameters being hard-coded, redundant sections that should have been subroutines. We finally had to declare a moratorium on “spaghetti code” references in order to finish the project without having to kill anyone.

  167. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#163): Or, if you prefer:

    number=0
    while [ "$number" -lt 10 ]
    do
    echo “Mudges Rule\c”
    done
    echo

  168. Gringo
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Rod Bassy” is actually just an alias for Rad Bossy, a fishing license scofflaw and fugitive from Santa Royale, where his sister Mary goes by the alias Worth.

  169. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165): Yes, I did have a coprocessor installed. Plus, I overclocked. Double-precision of the gravity constant (out to 14 decimal places) really slowed things down.

  170. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#166): Any bets that the developer’s name was Wally?

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#162): …just start typing and adding pre-made modules until the errors all disappear?

    Microsoft Foundation Classes, for the win!

  172. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#35):
    Remember Mark, when grabbing Rod Bassy, you want to put your thumb in his mouth and your fingers under his ‘chin’

    Like Moe would do with Curly. Mark learned how to handle ruffians from the master Stooge.

  173. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action (#97): Rod Bassy dropped the “e” from his last name after a falling-out with his sister. He still insists that Paul McCartney’s “Live And Let Die” was the best Bond theme.

    Although he’s not in the business himself, Rod comes from a musical family. In fact, Grandpa William “Count” Basie bequeathed his entire collection of yachting caps to “That No-Account Grandson of Mine” (as he was affectionately known).

  174. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#144): oh, and no, I am not in middle school, although my sense of humor often gets stuck there.

    I’m old, so my sense of humor sometimes gets stuck in Junior High. Is that more sophisticated, or less, than Middle School?

  175. seismic-2
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: Remember, this is a cake design contest, and so we see from the video that one of the top designs last year was… round. Yes, a round cake! Circular, even!!! The innovation, the unprecedented audacity – where on earth did she get her inspiration? I hope there is an interview with her at the end of the video. I also hope the interviewer asks her about pi.

  176. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#167): Have you seen the collection of Hello World programs at http://www.helloworldexample.net/ ?

    Fun. Just fun, is all.

  177. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#174): the answer to that is so simple, a child of 5 could answer it.

    *somebody go and get me a child of 5!*

  178. Ratiocinator
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Hello everybody, my name is Ratiocinator and I’ll be handling the “McEldowney-to-Human” translation today.
    AMOS: I’m growing a beard! Somehow, I got the impression that my lack of a beard was making you censor yourself, and now you won’t have to!
    EDDA: I really appreciate it, and can’t wait to swear up a storm and talk dirty to you.
    AMOS: Do it!
    EDDA: Now don’t you have the cutest little whiskers?
    AMOS: Holy shit, I can’t believe how horrible you are at this.

    Pibgorn: “He gave me magic powers by fucking me silly.”

    SM: “And I was here! Oh no, that means that I was in on it too!”

  179. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#175): I reloaded the strip where John Dill enters the cake “design” contest, to view the multi-page entry form in high-res. The rules forbid unusually-shaped cakes, and icing in any colour not between white and pink.

    //The latter rule also applies to the skin of the contestants.

  180. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#166): Heh. Maybe not an execution… but something condign. Perhaps, if you gathered all the programmers in a hollow square, like in the old western TV show Branded, tore off the offender’s epaulets (you all wear epaulets, right?, and cargo shorts), and broke his keyboard in front of him.

    As a warning to others.

  181. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#175): John Dill is going to bust out a trapezoidal cake with two-tone tan-on-taupe frosting and script (“Ce n’est pas un gâteau.”) and FUCKING BLOW THEIR TINY LITTLE MINDS!!!!

  182. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#170):

    No, Wally was assigned to the project but always had an excuse for not attending the meetings.

    The actual developer was, however, who you would get from central casting if you were looking for a “software programmer”. Starting writing code for pay in High School, skipped the college degree since he was making enough money writing code for the Local Community College, interpersonal skills of a Dark Ages monk, refused to do documentation because he was too busy writing the code. He finally resigned over a bitter, years-long dispute as to the value of Cognos as a reporting tool.

  183. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#179): It’s to prevent a repeat of the year when everyone brought chocolate dick cakes.

  184. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180):

    Not a TV Western, more like one of the cheap ones they used to film in Italy. They had a term for those, I believe….

  185. Hibbleton
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    MW: Technique?! She’s smearing it on! Just like every cake that’s ever been iced!

  186. Mr. GEEEE
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    It’s unfair to blame Mark for making that comment about Rod Bassy in the first panel. He obviously could not have done it, because HE HAS NO MOUTH.

  187. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#183):

    It’s to prevent a repeat of the year when everyone brought chocolate dick cakes.

    Uhmmm… NSFW — or mealtime.

    Okay, I’ll stop linking to that site now.

  188. Reedzilla
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    re: Gil Thorp
    “And we need to find a life! Who can we push into this gaping Hell-maw to satiate Beelzebub’s unholy cravings?”

  189. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180): I had intended to add a link, for that show, you know, for the kids.

  190. Revenge of Chesnut
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Cherry honey, that’s cute you tried to grab Mark’s attention by dyeing your hair an absurd maroon shade, but it’s clearly not working. Maybe if you changed your name to “Rod”?

  191. Majicou
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    BC: Is it because of his peg leg that the third line doesn’t scan?

    Frazz: Simpsons FoxTrot did it.

    FW: That moment when snark becomes not snark.

    MW: That ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it.

  192. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#178):

    This is fun! Let me try!

    A: “I’m becoming increasingly insecure over my masculinity. For example, I notice that you treat me like a child who you are afraid to swear in front of. Thus, I plan to grow a thick beard in order to prove myself.”
    E: “So, now I should feel free to express myself openly, without censoring myself due to the fact that I think of you as less than a man?”
    A: “Yes”
    E: “Awww, it seems as if you are incapable of even that token gesture.”
    A: “I refuse to acknowledge this, but am deeply ashamed nonetheless.”

  193. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny for President (#187): You’re right! Three* of those cakes would qualify the Santa Royale Cake Design Contest Rules. That must be why John had to submit a photo with his entry form.

    //*Yes, two are identical, but I’m sure there will be many identical cakes at the competition. Well, identical except for technique.

  194. bats :[
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#2): “really boring now that the Spirit Lioness isn’t in the strip”?

  195. Voshkod
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#179): Very nice.

  196. bats :[
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#20): I think it’s a hell maw, but I also think we can work it into being a living room feature.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#182): He finally resigned over a bitter, years-long dispute as to the value of Cognos as a reporting tool.

    Pshaw! It was because of his inflatable coccyx, wasn’t it?

  198. A New Day
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m also amused by the fact that Mark is going to “try to get” an interview with this well-named man. I suppose it’s not a stretch that a bass fisherman would be famous in Lost Forest, but any such fisherman would surely give his best tackle to meet the world-famous writer and adventurer Mark Trail. It’s called Internal Consistency, Mr. Elrod – now try again.

  199. Jack
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Note that the Chicken Woman from Pluggers, who is working in the public library today, appears to have a second job in Shoe as a pharmacist.

  200. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    SLAPPPP!!!!! is what we’ll hear when Mary Worth finally sees what Mr. Dill’s “technique” is.

    What causes J. Jonah Jameson’s eyebrows to make like McDonald’s Arches? Trained larcenous monkey grabbing his balls, tiara shoved up his non-prehensile rectum, bitten by a non-radioactive spider?

  201. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#200): Clown-9′s missing joy buzzer?

  202. Hibbleton
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Meanwhile, on Zygloid IV, descendants of the humans brought back from earth millennia ago behave like beings neither Zygloids nor humans can fully comprehend.

  203. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#201): Oooh, good one. How about The Shockers, uh, never mind.

  204. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#194): No shit! And to think we’re not any closer to finding out who’s behind the cyber-lions, and thus, no nearer then end of this story!

    It’s one thing to spend a week or six lingering on Kit wrestling well-muscled (and oiled) latinos; combat-dancing with lithe Asian gangsters, or trading blows with a beefy black men in abandoned prisons — such scenes are the natural, ahem, climax, to the slow-building tensions in the plot’s rising action — but this stuff with lionesses and underage princesses, well, I guess, it’s just not my scene.

  205. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

  206. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Will Rod Bassy tangle with Rusty’s Sassy?

  207. Sparkle Plenty
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: I think Rod is just his nickname. Short for Elrod. His real name is J. Elrod Bassy, IV.

  208. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

  209. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

  210. stu
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Today’s “Mark Trail” makes more sense if you imagine Cherry saying her lines with the deepest possible amount of sarcasm. Okay, that makes EVERY “Mark Trail” strip better…

  211. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    By the way, since when is it up to ransom-money-obtainer Editor Bill Ellis to determine what would make a really good story?

  212. bbofun
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    DT- this arc takes it’s inspiration from the tV series Cod case Files. Or Cold Case. Or, if you’re British, New Tricks. (That last one’s actually quite fun, featuring three great older British actors, including Alun Armstrong, the original Thernadier in Les Mis.)

    Pibgorn- Or maybe you got magic powers because he turned you into a Genie, ya twat!

    ASM- Actually, JJJ could turn this all around just by suggesting it was Spidey who stole the necklace.
    Cop- Yeah, how did Kraven steal the necklace while he was here? He must’ve had an accomplice!
    Spidey- Yeah- it was the chimp!
    Cop- A chimp? A chimp stole the tiara from the high-tech security at the museum?
    Spidey- Yeah! I saw the whole thing! I followed him to the museum, followed him inside, watched him steal it, and followed him back here!
    Cop- Wait- YOU followed him into the museum?
    Spidey- Y–yes.
    Cop- you realize that’s illegal, right? And you didn’t stop him- or even call the police and report a crime in progress?
    Spidey- W-well, I just wanted to see if my theory was true- that the chimp had been breaking into people’s homes as training for the tiara robbery.
    Cop- How would that train him to avoid the elaborate security measures at the museum? And, once the chimp broke into the museum, that would prove your theory, right? So why didn’t you stop him? or, as I said, call the police? We’re gonna have to take you downtown, buddy.
    [JJJ laughs in triumph, then takes his showgirl back to the hotel for a night of wild celebration.]

    MW- Oh, John’s gonna show her his “technique,” alright. He’s gonna show how he applies the smooth frosting to the warm surface with his “special tool’, using long, smooth strokes. And then he changes the rhythm and shape of the strokes, causing peaks and valleys of sweetness to form.

    And not one thing in that paragraph was meant figuratively.

    GT- Why are Mia and Scott practicing? He should just show her his peacock. Literally.

  213. bats :[
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @FeralCanadian (#83): Mark: “Oooh! There’s a game? Can I play?”
    Maybe, Mark, maybe…

  214. bats :[
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

  215. Mibbitmaker
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Lio: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!

    9CL: Any one of the Peanuts gang: “…Vulgar of the vulgate?”

    Curtis: Hey, Mr. W, you know who was that demandingly attached to HIS chair? Archie Bunker! As an African-American, can you really know that and carry on like that?

    FW: Looks like Batty’s destroying another character from the original era. I’ll take the Mr. Fairgood from the 1972-1974 FW collection I got about a month ago over the soon invalid/corpse any day, thank you very much, Batty!

    Zits: You guys kidding? Even the gang at Cheers wouldn’t even discuss that crap!
    (….maybe Carla……)

  216. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#203): Everybody knows the Shocker is just a second-rate Electro:

    http://www.samruby.com/AmazingSpider-ManA/Large/AmazingSpider-Man046.jpg

  217. Calico
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny for President (#187):
    Safeway (down South of where I am now, but grew up with one in Annapolis) for the awful win!

  218. Peanut Gallery
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    On the subject of names like “Rod Bassy,” I give the prize to Artist formerly known as Ben‘s “Gunno Deer.”

  219. Red Greenback
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#133): Okey Dokey.

    Did someone say something about Junior High humor?

  220. Peanut Gallery
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#52): Excellent! Now, all you have to do is deliver that line in a loud, breathless stage-whisper every single time Fisherman X appears in a panel.

  221. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#215): re: Zits: Are you sure?

  222. Cyranetta
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    So now we know why Dr. Jeff never seems to get anywhere with Mary — he never showed her his technique.

  223. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Cyranetta (#222): Since Dr. Jeff practices his technique on Vietnamese orphans, it’s probably for the best.

  224. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Cyranetta (#222): Is the Hokey-Pokey a technique?

    You put your right finger in…out…shake it all about…

    So it is!

  225. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#215): “…Vulgar of the vulgate?” It is an unnatural locution, but correct. “The coarsest language used by common, usually uneducated people.” The billingsgate of beefwits. The rude ribaldry of rubes. The juvenile jocosity of jobbernowls, jibbering jests of the jakes.

  226. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#225):

    Not to be confused with the Nattering Nabobs of Negativism.

  227. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#219): I refuse to admit that I snorted with laughter at that.

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#219): Very good. Did you know that “el rod” is Spanglish slang for the penis?

  229. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    If J. Jonah Jameson was Bugs Bunny, he would have kissed the cop by now.

  230. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

  231. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    MT – Rod Bassy, Bass Fisherman? I suppose that he has a cousin named Gun Deery, Deer Hunter.

    SM – Shouldn’t JJJ recognize Peter ParkHisLardButtOnTheCouch’s voice?

    // Sorry if I’m repeating any one; I haven’t been able read all the other comments yet.

  232. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#231):

    Or better yet, Bo Deery, Bow (& Arrow) Deer Hunter.

  233. seismic-2
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#219): Great. Now we have a new mental image to contemplate, every day when we see jackelrod’s balls.

  234. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#189): Those of us who were in 6th grade when “Branded” was running in syndication remember the immortal lyrics, “Stranded…stranded on the toilet bowl…”
    //just thought I’d raise the level of conversation here.

  235. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail:

    “Have you heard of him?”

    “Oh, you mean Ol’ Slippery?”

  236. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#231): Don’t forget their ne’er-do-well cousins, Booz and Cooz Hound.

  237. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Da Coconino Kid (#147):Now, can anyone recommend a good APL for my Android phone?

    No, but there is an excellent BASIC dialect at http://laughton.com/basic/ for Android.

    // Really. Check it out.

  238. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Love is….So the little guy is dead again? And just where did they stick those medals on him when he was around?

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#237): Sorry, that should have been:

    REM Really. Check it out.

    /* I gets confused */

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#238): And just where did they stick those medals on him when he was around?

    How do you think he died… ?

  241. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I realize I’m coming in late to the party, but did anyone seriously think that the village elders in their grass skirts might have implanted that electronic device in Ms. Lion? (Picture them in scrubs over their grass skirts, honing their stone scalpels…)

  242. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#241): Actually, you know could have done it? Guran.

    He’s got the jungle juice to put the lion under and the know-how as the Phantom’s right hand, plus technological resources in Skull Cave, to perform the operation. I’m for serious, guys. LLONGO VILLAGE WAS AN INSIDE JOB!

  243. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny for President (#242): OMG! No frikking way, man!
    //never trust those short guys…

  244. Alter Ego
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#107): Porn and sexting have come up frequently.

  245. Dennis Jimenez
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Why am I not at all surprised that Gil Thorp has a hell mouth in his home….

  246. Sigivald
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    “This is absurdly on the nose, even for this strip”

    That is named after an outdoorsman named “Mark Trail”?

    You should have always expected that.

  247. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y316):

    Ah….RPN! I Loved using my HP-15C in college and really got into the knack of using it to solve messy engineering and scientific formulas. I always got a kick out of it when somebody not familiar with RPN asked to use it and then wondered where the equals key was. I still have that little gem.

    We also had a desktop plotting HP calculator in the Engineering Office at school. I don’t remember the model (and can’t find a picture of it on the web), but it was the size of a modern desktop computer displayed the contents of all four stack registers with Nixie tubes, and was hooked up to a large plotter that we used to graph functions.

    I also have a bunch of RPN calculator Apps on my iPhone and iPad, most of them emulate various HP calculators.

    // In the Advanced Physics Lab, we had some classic old equipment such as an very old (circa 1930s) HP signal generator that was the size of a dishwasher and had an oven with a crystal oscillator inside!

  248. Red Greenback
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    The Crazy World of Gilbert Thorp.

  249. Ranger™
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): But even if talking vavajays aren’t your cup of tea, the cast includes Rip Taylor and Professor Irwin Corey. ‘Nuff said?

    I was surprised to find that Professor Irwin Corey is still with us at the advanced age of 98. Oh, and according to his Wikipedia entry:

    “One notable fan of Corey’s comedy, despite their radically different politics, was Ayn Rand.”

  250. Ranger™
    January 16th, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    FC — Tomorrow: Dolly’s first menstrual cycle and Billy’s first arrest for DUI.

  251. Peanut Gallery
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158): Macaroni code would be code in multiple languages, right?

    public class Foo {
       Procedure Bar ();
       begin
         INTEGER I
         10 FOR I = 1 to 10
         printf (“%d\n”, I);
         20 NEXT I
       end;
    }

  252. Peanut Gallery
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#162):

    What do modern programmers do, just start typing and adding pre-made modules until the errors all disappear?

    Don’t be ridiculous! The product’s got to be shipped long before all the errors disappear.

  253. Mike V.
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp That’s not a fireplace, it’s a window! You see, the Thorps are re-entering Earth’s atmosphere in their swanky space capsule. “We spend all weekend orbiting the world in our flying sex pad, and all we do is talk about work! We need to find a life!”

  254. Dood
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Who are Rod Bassy’s competitors? Reel Trouty? Ferrule Muskie? Bobber Crappy? Treble Pikey? Splitshot Perchy?

  255. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#254): Don’t forget Sinker Snakehead.

  256. Ranger™
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#254):

    Theodore Sturgeon
    Kilgore Trout
    Red Herring

  257. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#254):

    Gil Carp?

  258. Government Cheese
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yes, yes! I’d like to show you my technique! Moo hoo hahahahahaha cough cough wheeze….(Vincent Price collapses on the floor clutching his chest).

    (Wilbur, however, is stalking the group the two through the window eating a ham sandwich)

    (Dr. Jeff is somewhere thinking of Mary while soaking in a hot tub with Chinbeard).

  259. pugfuggly
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#254):

    We put our faith in….

    Leader Walleye!
    Creel Bowfin!
    Jig Pumpkinseed!
    Fly Steelhead!
    Bob Johnson! No wait…

  260. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#254):
    Rod Bassy’s ladyfriend would be Carol Canepole.

    @Dood (#254):
    Whit Wiggler

  261. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#257): And Poach Koi.

  262. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Does Jackelrod let his great grandchildren name his characters?

  263. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Happy (belated) birthday to actor/comedian Charles Elmer “Rip” Taylor!!!

    Rip was born January 13, 1934, which makes him 79.

    Website: http://www.riptaylor.com/

  264. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    MT-Rod Bassy is a fisherman? I thought he was a bass player in a rock band.

  265. Daniel
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    GT This is the most tasteless Keiji Nakazawa tribute I’ve seen to date.

  266. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#264): That’s his brother Slap Bassy.

  267. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#232): With their able assistant, Schottsie McFourprong.

  268. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny for President (#266):

    Waitasec! Is he any relation to Trashy Bassy from down in Tallahassee?
    He’s in the waste removal business.

    Not to be confused with the waist removal business. That’s just what some magicians do with saw, boxes and assistants. Which reminds me of another potential competitor for Rod Bassy:

    @Dood (#254):

    The formerly obese Slim Cast.

  269. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Your wife is safe with Tonetti, He prefers spaghetti. — Albert “Gay Divorcee” Camus

    // And he’s the GOTO man when it comes to coding!

  270. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 16th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#259): Don’t forget the token “ethnic”/assassin, Sashimi Fugu.

  271. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-So was you Jonah. So was the showgirl. So were people in the audience. Where does it end? Will you want everyone arrested? It wouldn’t surprise me with a guy who patterns his look after Hitler.

  272. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#251): You should consider entering something in The International Obfuscated C Code Contest.

    That, or take up cake decorating.

  273. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”Do you think Shelby Hunter would be interested in a threesome?”

  274. Brock Twist
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    It’s dollars to doughnuts that Rod Bassy a) has a beard or sideburns and b) is using unscrupulous means to catch bass. Mark may as well spark him out the moment he meets him – because there’s punching to come, and it will save Rusty from being kidnapped and kept in Rod’s boat, forced to watch others fish while his freakishly flesh-coloured tears drip silently down his monstrous face.

  275. Chip Whittle
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#225):

    “…Vulgar of the vulgate?” It is an unnatural locution, but correct. “The coarsest language used by common, usually uneducated people.” The billingsgate of beefwits. The rude ribaldry of rubes. The juvenile jocosity of jobbernowls, jibbering jests of the jakes.

    You know, I was just thinking, remember a year or two ago when 9 Chickweed Lane revealed that Edda had a deep and abiding love for the nattily mauled English of Leo Gorcey and the Bowery Boys movies? Yeah, Brooke McEldowney doesn’t either.

  276. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Do you swear? Do you make racial slurs? Have you stopped bathing? Stopped using deodorant? Stopped shaving your legs? These would help you with offense.

  277. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Brock Twist (#274):

    Oh. I think it is safe to say that Rod Bassy has a mullet.

  278. Comrade Denny for President
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Brock Twist (#274): I understand that bass might go for doughnut, but dollars? The Rod Bassy must be one shady character if can pull off such a scam!

  279. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Rod Bassy winning fishing derbies with dynamite or frozen fish is just a front for his international jewel smuggling business. You wait, Mark will investigate and discover his real name to be Diamond Ring.

  280. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#277): Gotta love the fact that we haven’t even met the guy yet but we already know his hairstyle, facial hair grooming habits, ethics and wardrobe.

  281. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#280):

    It’s Mark Trail. Character design is very limited.

  282. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    MW-Don’t you want to rewatch the dvd with the commentary?

    JP-Yep. Avery changed them from the successful and profitable business of growing pot to the risky and unsuccessful business of solar power.

  283. Liam
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @Brock Twist (#274):

    Don’t forget that Rod Bassy will also look like Mark.

  284. Ratiocinator
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#192): It is fun, isn’t it?

  285. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii
    Commando

    Aaaah! My (eyelidless) eyes!

    164. Aviatrix

    And kinetically violate and disrupt the structural integrity of their corporeal entities with an aim, with malice aforethought, of terminating their earthly existence.

  286. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#283):

    @Brock Twist (#274): Don’t forget that Rod Bassy will also look like Mark.

    Except Mirror Mark will sport a mustache and a goatee. Which means “our” Mark will have no choice but to punch out Mirror Mark’s lights.

  287. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 16th, 2013 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#282):

    MW-Don’t you want to rewatch the dvd with the commentary?

    They’ll probably watch that, then the director’s cut, then the version dubbed in Spanish before we get to see John Dill’s “technique.” Sometime in February.

    @Comrade Denny (#73):

    See: Cake Wrecks.

    Worst King Cake. Ever.

  288. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    MT: I think it’s funny that Cherry has heard of Rod Bassy, but Mark hasn’t.

    ASM: Well, I thought it was pretty clear that Spiderman was doing everything possible to help Kraven get away. He sure wasn’t doing anything to capture him!

  289. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#280):

    One aspect which has not been determined is his preferred choice of transportation.
    Past Mark Trail villains have limited choices but the choices are appropriate for the villains.

    In the past year, there’s been two sets of crooks who’ve used canoes. There was one pair who used a plane. There was the kidnappers who had a funky little truck and a plane. I so wanted the drug smugglers to float on a happy, green cloud but they were one of the pairs of crooks who used the canoe.

    So, you’d think that some form of fishing boat will be used by Rod Bassy. But, he could use a rubber raft, an olde timey, sticks and twigs raft or he could Ride The Tuna! Any of those things are possible.

    We. Shall. See.

    Commence, Elrod. We await your challenge.

  290. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    MT Panel 1/Cherry: I swear on first glance I read that as:
    “Yes, he’s a bad ass fisherman!”

    @Aviatrix (#140):

    When will I learn that you people aren’t kidding when you reference something bad happening in Funky Winkerbean? Will the wife be killed or only horribly maimed in the car accident they get into on the way to the hospital?

    Well, no one has lost a limb lately. And she can’t get cancer in the car. Probably.

  291. Droopy Says
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#55): So, I’ve never watched a Spiderman movie — does Spidey adopt a fake voice so his boss won’t recognize it when they talk?

    I watched the first Spiderman movie . . . I guess it was the first one . . . and I can’t remember if Parker spoke while in the Spiderman costume. I’m pretty sure he spoke while out of the costume, but I can’t remember what he said. Or what anyone in that flick said. But I did have the volume turned up on the TV, and I could hear the explosions and crashes, so I must have heard the dialog. Or was there a silent version of Spiderman, playing on TCM with a Carl Davis orchestration? That might explain it, as much as anything about Spiderman has an explanation.

  292. Downpuppy
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#289): Bass boats are powerful, expensive motorboats. Whether this helps in catching fish, I have no clue, but competitive bass fishing is closer to NASCAR than it is to Avery chasing Old Hardy.

  293. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#292):

    I hadn’t thought of bass boats. Makes sense.

    I think I mentioned something about how the names of these upcoming characters were like those of pro wrestlers and how they probably have loud music for their entrances.

    Obviously, that was just taking it a bridge too far. But, a bass boat–if it what I think it is (without looking) and based on your NASCAR reference–should come onto the scene with light, fanfare and themesong:

    ooka chaka
    ooka ooka
    ooka chaka

    I’m hooked on a feeeling!*

    *i’m sure someone’s already mentioned that song by now.

  294. Peanut Gallery
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#272): I’ve seen some of those Obfuscated C contest winners, and they were pretty mind-boggling. I think I’d have better luck with the cake decorating.

    For example, here is my “Many Happy Returns” cake.

  295. Froggy
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#290): It could have been worse — you could have thought that Cherry was saying that he was a sweet sweetback baad asssss fisherman. After a tragic casting incident this brother is on the run from “the man.”

  296. Droopy Says
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Okay, what does Mark Trail mean when he says he’ll “try” to get an interview with Rod Bassy? How hard is it to interview a bass fisherman? Is the Great Man surrounded by hordes of wildlife writers, groupies and sycophants? Or is bass fishing really that demanding? “Sorry, can’t talk now, I have to stand here in my waders and wait for a nibble from a bass. Call my secretary for an appointment, I think I’m not fishing at ten AM next Thursday. Maybe then I can tell you about the agony of hooking a trout by mistake.”

  297. bats :[
    January 16th, 2013 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

  298. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    GT: Trust the Thorps to take after-dinner lounging to x-treem levels. Their fireplace (barely) contains a raging conflagrations that threatens to swallow their entire house. All the better for Gil to look like a pensive Lucifer.

    MW: Look at these two wanton sinners, watching a generic Martha Stewart clone frost a cake and taking notes. Poor trusting Jeff never suspected that Mary and John would descend to the food and lifestyle porn level so quickly.

    FW: Marriage, dorm, what’s the difference? In Westview they both end badly.

    BH: Stanley is counting on the utter collapse of the economy and society, when his hoard of snack foods will become a priceless commodity.

    9CL: The Vulgate is a Latin translation of the Bible. These two dipshits may have gone to Catholic school, but they sure as hell didn’t learn anything there.

    Archie: Archie left his iPod in the dock, loaded with wav files from the Austin Powers movies.

    RMMD: “Now a loaded husband? That’s a good strategy!”

    BB: Miss Buxley’s backstory isn’t much discussed, but apparently she was conceived when a showgirl had a brief romantic fling with a vibraphone.

    HtH: Uh-oh, Eddie. You won’t remain Lucky for long if you keep turning your back on Hagar when he’s in his moods.

    Blondie: Dagwood half-sounds like he’s badmouthing capitalism. I know it’s 2012 and Dithers bitches about Facebook and everything, but don’t be surprised if the Bumsteads get a visit from J Edgar Hoover’s boys.

    Shoe: Henrietta Beek is a good Plugger woman, Loon. She’ll brook none of your hippie nonsense.

    H&J: Sarah likes putting self-destructive ideas in her idiot son’s head. She should have coffee with Mama Keane sometime.

    Marvin: “Did you go number one or number two? Quite honestly you could be dead and rotting and my own diaper stank would block you out.”

  299. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#290):
    Mark: Which creel is yours?
    Rod Bassy: It’s the one that says “Bad Motherfucker.”

  300. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#248): I had to think on that one for a moment, but then…

  301. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#217): Muchas gracias, Cal.

  302. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    //Y’know. I’m really hoping Conrad Bain didn’t die from a stroke.

  303. Baka Gaijin
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#209): Oh.

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#247): An oven with a crystal oscillator inside, perchance to make the brownies come out extra tasty?

    @Aviatrix (#280): It’s not rocket science, it’s Mark Trail. It’s not hard to grok Mr. Bassy’s look from the total available in the clip art catalog. There are only, what, 3 facial features templates, 4 hair configurations, and 2 wardrobe choices for men in the strip.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#298) on Beetle Bailey: Makes sense, as far as “sense” goes in Beetle Bailey.

  304. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#303):

    Makes sense, as far as “sense” goes in Beetle Bailey.

    That is a necessary qualifier, yes.

  305. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#303):

    It’s not hard to grok Mr. Bassy’s look

    It would be kind of cool and groundbreaking for the strip if he were a giant, cannibalistic half-man/half-bass.

    But, you are right.

  306. Majicou
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#294): But the cake will only return once–unless, of course, it was called in a loop that calls it each iteration.

  307. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#305):

    Hell. I’d love to see Mark go to interview Rod Bassy and upon seeing him, Mark will have an adverse reaction and just swing for the fences knocking out the monster, toot sweet!

    //does anyone actually say “tout de suite”? Other than in comedies on TV and in the movies?

  308. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#302): While some might say your jest was in poor taste, I say “Diff’rent Jokes for Diff’rent Folks!”

  309. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#307):

    Upon being confronted by o-fish-als from the Competitive Bass Fisherman’s Association for his conduct during the interview, Mark issues a statement:

    “I don’t know came over me. My conduct was unbecoming to a journalist, especially one of my tenure and stature. I…I…

    “I like to believe that I am good friend of wildlife everywhere. (pause) But, but…
    That thing is INHUMAN! It’s not an ANIMAL! It is WORSE than an animal! Not even Doc would GO that far!”

    //setting myself up for the let down, gently, softly….

  310. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#308):

    Good sir, I wasn’t joking. I actually fear the jokes which would result if that turns out to be the cause of his death.

    But, y’know, maybe once…once a week for while there, I, too, made a quip or two about how the kids would arrive home from school to their penthouse and find that Dad was sitting there, not moving, and the theme song would play out.

    That’s how the show *could* have ended its run…but, that was too long ago. Joking has no place in the world. Things are different now.
    Conrad Bain is gone.

  311. tallyHO
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#310):
    and the theme song would play out….

    And then as the song ends, Arnold would utter for the last time* something he said often. This time the pint-sized ragamuffin would add a twist:

    “Whatchu talkin’ bout, themesong?”

    *did the guy ever get a break from saying that catchphrase? people probably bugged him to place messages on their answering machines for years.

  312. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#298): The Vulgate is indeed a particular Bible translation, but the word vulgate also refers to the tongue of the common people, whatever that might be. I’m guessing that in 300 AD putting the texts in Latin was considered making it available to the common people, the hoi polloi ignorant of Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic. So “vulgar of the vulgate” is just “rude words of the common tongue.” Personally I’d prefer “vulgarities of the vulgate” in the comic, and the Latin anatomical terms in bed.

  313. Sgt. Stoned
    January 16th, 2013 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    BB: Oh, shoot! I was expecting a Sharon Stone moment here.

    MW: John’s inner Aldo is coming out.

  314. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#307): My mother says tout de suite, which, given the traditional fate of all daughters, suggests I probably do too, even when speaking English. But you don’t hear the de. Well actually you don’t hear the second t, but you hear the d instead so the whole thing sounds like “toot sweet,” just as you wrote.

  315. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#300): Arthur Brown – I completely missed that connection. Funny, there was I time when I thought that was so cool. Now, it seems impossibly silly. Especially in b/w. That flaming helmet! That implausibly skinny, unmuscled physique, one wonders he has the strength to hold up the microphone, much less prance about. We had some good drugs back then, didn’t we? (A shame we were so stoned we consumed the entire stock, and forgot the formula to make them.)

    And the name! Which seems more plausible, “Arthur Brown, certified public accountant,” or “Arthur Brown, God of Hellfire”?

  316. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#314): Toot sweet. And that’s how M. Larousse and Mr. Webster pronounce it as well. Meaning suddenly, or all at once. I never use it, it sounds silly to me, like cocaine cut with too much sugar.

  317. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Say, this class is really cramping my ability to keep up with the CC in a timely and entertaining way. I can’t read 500 comments in the short time before I go to bed. So here’s some comments that may well duplicate others here. Then again, maybe they don’t! So at least there’s that.

    Beetle – January 16, 2013. The day the first queef was depicted in a family comic strip. Next frontier, necrophilia. I mean, between adults who don’t go around naked all the time.

    Archie – It took fifteen seconds for the tubes to warm up.

    9 – I have a favor. Talk briefly to me.

  318. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Dick – A murder confession from almost 70 years ago? Oh boy! Now Dick can close the file on one of his cold cases, from back when he was in his thirties.

    love was… …remembering how he screamed when they pinned on the medals.

    Mark“I’m sure he’s excited about that!”
    Man, when did Cherry get so sarcastic?

    @Mr. O’Malley (#319): I was a big fan of the show. I even recorded the sound from the TV when they reran the series. That and Monty Python. The Python stuff, I have on video now, but still no Dream Machine. (Remember Albert Brooks’s “Famous School for Comedians”?)

  319. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#316): Yes, I know, this is Canada, so I know how it sounds and how to spell it. If the question being asked is “does anyone say tout de suite?” then yes, I do, but if the question is, “does anyone mispronounce tout de suite such that it has three syllables?” then no, no one I know of.

  320. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#294): I love that cake!

    // Mrs. Scudder embroidered me a t-shirt, with </war> on it. My hippie tee.

  321. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#298): The Vulgate is a Latin translation of the Bible.

    Yes, it is. It is also a word meaning the speech of common, uneducated folk. In St. Jerome’s time, that happened to be Latin. McE is using the word correctly. As I have pointed out here, several times, McE, whatever his sins against art and language and general decency, does know how to use a dictionary. If you think he is misusing a word, double check it yourself. The connotation he uses may be obscure, but it is there. I’ve never caught him out like that.

    // I think Aviatrix also pointed this out, as I did much earlier this thread.

  322. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#312): That is true, and I had a feeling someone (Mr. Scudder, maybe?) would point it out. Of course then there’s the matter of Edda making unsupported assumptions about Roman commoners she’s never met.

  323. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#319): Ah, thanks for that. I try to avoid gallicisms in conversation. It is a bête noire of mine, as I always mispronounce them.

    // Sur Internet, personne ne sait que vous êtes un chien. — Albert Camus

  324. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#321): Sorry, would have included you in the last response if I had scrolled down before. I admit to being a little quick on the trigger in this case. Paradoxically if I were more of an obsessive hater – which I’m not, really – I probably would have been more careful.

  325. Aviatrix
    January 16th, 2013 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#323): In Canada we like to say that such expressions lend a certain quelle heure est-il to the discourse. We like to say that because it’s hilarious watching Americans nod sagely, not recognizing that we haven’t said the expected je ne sais quoi.

  326. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#324): So you’re a lackadaisical hater? Whom or what do you hate, when the quixotic urge takes you?

  327. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#312): (Removes tall Abe Lincoln hat, bows.)

    // Once you break ‘em in, those stovepipes are pretty comfortable. Warm too, I suppose the extra volume of air helps the insulating quality. In the future, I think everyone will be wearing them. Again.

  328. Gringo
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    FW: In a T’eo-esque twist, denizens of Westview discover that not only did Saint Lisa not die, she never existed at all

  329. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#325): quelle heure est-il

    Fulgent! I shall be adding that to my little list.

  330. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#324): De nada. He’s a tricky bugger, is our Mister Brooke!

  331. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    I tried to share the hilarity of uniformly round and pink cakes illustrating the ‘beauty of nature’, but my friend had no trouble enumerating round pink things that he thought beautiful au naturel.

  332. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#331):
    Oo la la!

    @Aviatrix (#319):
    No. I was just asking if people actually use the phrase. When I wrote it the first time, I just wanted to ensure people did not misread it. For the second time, I thought it best to spell it correctly. Just cuz.

  333. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#329): Pronounced roughly, “Colour it eel.” Or maybe “Killer et eel.” And being a request for the current time.

    //currently purple minutes past moray here.

  334. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    331. Aviatrix

    Sans habiliment, those are hill-a-rious.

  335. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail
    Do’h!
    How could I be so wrong? If all of these friends of Mark and strangers to Mark are named after fish, it only means one thing and not what I anticipated. This isn’t about fishing tournaments, Mark is leading poor Rusty into his heretofore secret club of fish fornicators!

    // Hi, my name is Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as “Two Thousand Leagues Beneath the Minor Leagues”, “The Bridge Over the River Kwazy” or “The T-shirt From the Black Saloon”.

  336. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    The new MW is out. They’ve skipped the technique demonstration and gone back to the kitchen where we learn that either the cake batter itself is pink, or John ices his cakes before they cool. I’m not sure what that’s a metaphor for, but I’m sure it’s dirty.

  337. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#333): Pronounced roughly, “Colour it eel.”

    Damn, I knew my 128-crayon box of Crayolas was missing something. Now I’ll have to order the 256-crayon set, just to get that one.

  338. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Dick: George Takei is supposed to make a guest appearance in this arc. I hope he has enough sense not to wear a red shirt.

    Spiderdick: Some court-appointed psychiatrist is in for the weirdest seventy-two hours of his life. But maybe, if he’s good enough and determined enough, he’ll uncover the meaning of that Hitlerian mustache.

    FW: In the Batiuk household, a loud clunk and scream from the bathroom signifies the regrettable end of writer’s block.

    Mock Travail: “You see, Bambi, everyone was at a house of ill repute and he caught a disease that turned his gills blue. But revealing that he had a rare STD would have nixed his career at UPS, so we started telling everyone he was a fishing guide. Now excuse me while I dump Rusty with him.”

    Pluggers: The eternal question: is that moon setting or rising? If it’s setting, it can’t be all that late in the evening. If it’s rising, it’s way too early in the morning to expect anyone else in the parking lot anyway.

    Pluggers: Too cheap to join the AAA, or too arrogant in their imaginary automotive prowess to join? It’s your call.

    Pluggers: Once, just once, I’d like to see a gibbous moon in a comic. To be followed by the inevitable “Huh? Whuzzats?” from people who never notice the moon has more phases than left-crescent and right-crescent.

  339. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#333): quelle heure est-il — Am I embarrassed! I thought it meant, “Which whore is sick?”. The answer was, Il est deux heures, meaning, as I thought, “The two whores are sick.” You can see where a fellow might be confused.

  340. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Today’s Spiderman almost answers the long-standing question “What are they smoking?” If only we knew how to pronounce that symbol on the floating bong!

  341. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#338):

    Once, just once, I’d like to see a gibbous moon in a comic. To be followed by the inevitable “Huh? Whuzzats?” from people who never notice the moon has more phases than left-crescent and right-crescent.

    Here’s one I found for seismic-2 a couple of years ago. The difficulty of drawing a gibbous moon seems to come into play. There’s a first quarter later in that series.

  342. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#339): That kind of confusion is why I never order french fries with cheese curds and gravy.

  343. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#342): I thought that was your national dish! (Have you tried the Springfield, Illinois’ horseshoe – very like that).

    // A whore’s shoe? Take it away, waiter! I ordered a putain.

  344. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    FC: Jeffy needs to be shown how to make snowballs, because he can’t figure it out for himself. Actually, Mommy did show him how once, but now he’s forgotten, it was so complicated. That pretty much summarizes all you’ll ever need to know about Jeffy.

  345. bbofun
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    MW- Ah, John is making his famous “puce velvet cake.” Yum!

    A3G- Man, you can almost hear his erection deflating, can’t you?

    JP- A) Why is he getting mail from his girlfriend’s adopted daughter’s bank at his office? Is he in charge of her trust, or something? It’s not like he’s an attorney, right?
    B) On the other hand, we all know what it says (no matter what it really says, this is what it says)- “We are sorry, but it appears we have made an error- in your favor, of course. But it will require you to come to Paris to receive a large check- at our expense, of course. And we’ll throw in some danger and intrigue and sexy ladies along the way.”

  346. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#341): Thanks! The only other gibbous phase moon I’ve ever seen in artwork is here:

    http://tinyurl.com/awpshjg

    “Tsukudajima from Eitai Bridge” by Hiroshige. 1857. That’s a long time to go without anyone even trying.

  347. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#341): Yes, thanks! I have often felt that somewhere in their artistic training, all aspiring cartoonists should be given a diagram similar to this one and told to follow it regarding the times of day when the moon rises and sets for each phase. They should also be told about how high in the sky the moon appears depending on the latitude and the time of the year and about how to adjust the appearance of the moon’s phases depending on the latitude (at least to the extent of reversing left and right for the Southern Hemisphere!), but I would settle for at least simply getting the rising and setting times right. Of course, we know that will never happen, because too many artists think it just looks so much better to have the full moon close to the horizon. even if the scene take place late at night. (They think it also looks better to show the full moon rising over the ocean, even if the scene is in California.)

  348. gleeb
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Yes, when her husband didn’t pretend he was in pain, Ann Fairgood became worried. Well, that’s what you get for coaching a winning basketball team, Ann. The Happiness Police will track down your ass.

    Sam Driver, literate!: The slumping European financial atmosphere has caused fewer huge deposits into Neddie’s bank account than usual. Naturally, Sam is concerned.

    Archie: Winsor McCay did it so very much better.

    Dick: And here’s our villain, who’s main point is that he’s really sweaty. Still, he’s not Mumbles, so that’s good.

    F-: I’ll take the World’s Worst Grandpa over Ed Crankshaft any day. He knows and embraces that he’s terrible. Ed pretends he isn’t, even when deliverately being so.

    Mark: Rusty got his name the same way, after stepping on a record number of rusty nails. Lucky they don’t call him Tetanus.

  349. Little Guy
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    MG&G: *starts the slow clap*

    ASM: Oh, you silly New Yorkers and your preemptive convictions. Don’t you know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

  350. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#336): You know who LOVES pink cakes? Fans of the Smoochy Boyz.

  351. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: It’s funny because the rest of us would use our cell phones to call AAA. Pluggers have no use for those newfangled wireless thingies.

    Ha ha ha.

    You’re fucked, plugger! FUCKED!!

  352. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    MT: And you really don’t want to know how Mark got the nickname “Old Goat”.

  353. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    MW: “Well, let’s get crackin’, Mary — this huge brick of Silly Putty isn’t going to frost itself!”

  354. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    MW: Pink? Is it meat or is it cake? Maybe it’s meatcake.

    George Carlin would approve.

  355. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#306): In the real world, yes. But with frosting, all things are possible!

  356. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    MW should give in to popular demand (like Mark Trail did) to give the players in this new story arc new names to work in tandem with the world of competetive cake design.

    Mary takes “Sugar Frosting”
    John Dill switches to “Piper McIcing (a.k.a. ‘The Ice Man’)”
    Their arch-rival goes by “Cherri Toppyng”

  357. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#356): or DT villains.

  358. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

  359. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#320): Excellent idea! But I wouldn’t be able to wear it. For comfort, I insist on tagless T-shirts.

  360. Little A.
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    MT: Fly fishing for bluegills? Bluegills are related to sunfish, you catch them with little pieces of worms or little dough balls, with rod and reel, or even with a piece of string tied to a pole — at least, that’s how we caught them when I was a kid. Who the hell ever heard of fly fishing for bluegills?

  361. Vince M
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#346): Neat – gibbous is so underused. I did notice Ian Fleming used it more than once in his James Bond stories. There’s probably also some 3/4 werewolf references out there somewhere…

  362. The Old Bamboo
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Toot Sweet! The tweetable, eatable, sweet!

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