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“As you know, most fisherman have the blandest, dumbest nicknames imaginable”

Mark Trail, 1/19/13

Here’s a free tip from a semi-professional writer person (and yes, the novel is coming along, everybody!): if anyone in your story says “As you know,” you’ve failed! You’re trying to wedge in some backstory in a “natural” way, but in the real world, people don’t go around telling each other things that they both already know. Try maybe introducing this information by having a character who doesn’t know it learn about it? Or even just have it conveyed by the omniscient authorial voice — there’s no shame in that, if you do it deftly!

Usually, of course, this clumsy technique is meant to introduce some information specific to the narrative at hand, but using it for a sweeping statement like “Most fishermen are good people” takes it to another level. I actually had never even considered that fishermen were more or less likely to be good than members of the population at large until ol’ Bluegill felt like he needed to make such a big deal about it; now I’m troubled by how little we really know about these sinister boot-wearing fish-murderers. Sure, they say their flies are made of fur, feather, thread, or other such material, but do we know for sure they aren’t made from human skin? It would be irresponsible not to speculate. If we went into Bluegill’s basement, would we find horrific kill-chamber? Almost certainly!

Slylock Fox, 1/19/13

Meanwhile, Slylock Fox continues to be the sleaziest comic in the newspaper. I don’t know if spraying a consenting partner with liquid out of your nose technically falls under the sexual category of “water sports,” but the satisfied, tongue-lolling expression on this duck makes it clear that this is no innocent bath.

Gil Thorp, 1/19/13

Speaking of bird perversions, you might think based on Scott’s thrilled expression in panel three that “the peacock” is what the kids are calling penises these days. Sadly, his girlfriend is just referring to an actual, albeit maybe magical, peacock.

263 responses to ““As you know, most fisherman have the blandest, dumbest nicknames imaginable””

  1. Mumblix Grumph
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    GT: HARDER…BIGGER…PEACOCK!

    I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on.

  2. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    As you know, Josh, some of us were wondering about the status of your novel. Obsessing, even.

  3. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#2): Planning violent action, possibly.

  4. Droopy Says
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Jack Elrod conveys information daftly.

  5. lorne
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    So in your novel, Joel, have you had much use for the “giant unrelated rooster” literary device?

  6. Chyron HR
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Now you’ve done it, Josh. Stay tuned next week, where we’ll see Bluegill exposit: “As you know, Mark, most comic strip bloggers are good people, but…”

  7. Lumaca Morente
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @Mumblix Grumph (#1): Third panel guy has the expression usually used in FW when a character hears that he/she is likely to survive. Yeah, we don’t see it very often.

  8. lorne
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Dear god. Please let that white arrow represent the gap between the elephant’s legs.

  9. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#4): Your comment sounds surprisingly like spam. I mean that in a good way.

  10. Anonymous
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp seems to have taken it to a whole ‘nother level of silly, unintelligible plots that nobody in their right mind would care about.

  11. Lumaca Morente
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#8): Eww. Did you have to point that out? Now I can’t unsee it. (Remind me to skip your comments on John Dill’s eventual cake.)

  12. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#10): Wait ’til you see Josh’s novel!

  13. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#12): Calculating odds that this will make COTW….

  14. Baka Gaijin
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Love the giant rooster. Love him even more fricasseed.

    The next decorative flourish on the flat pink cylinder o’nature will be some Georgia O’Keefe inspired flowers. Mary Worth will remain oblivious to Mr. Dill’s intentions.

  15. sporknpork
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    How many passes through Google Translate did the dialogue in Gil Thorp go through?

  16. Here Come the Judge
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Well, it’s already not looking too good for Rusty’s dreams of going fishing with Mark- and it’s all Rod Bassy’s fault! He won’t let them go with him in his boat! I bet Mark has a whole litany of excuses related to why fishing from the shore is bad for the environment, or something like that.

    By the way, if all the character names in Mark Trail follow the pattern of the last few days- Rod Bassy, Bluegill, ect.- we are led to believe that Rusty’s freckles are actually red iron oxide, Cherry is in excellent condition, Kelly is similar to a rubber boot, and Doc is, well, a doctor, or perhaps a place where one might park a boat.

    Come to think of it, Rusty and Cherry each also represents an opposite end of the used car condition spectrum. So much symbolism for a simple comic strip!

  17. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#15): That’s what happens when you outsource a zombie strip to North Korea.

  18. KreatureFeatures
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    MT: That’s Mark Trail wearing a hat in the final panel, right? And that’s also Mark Trail sipping coffee and eating breakfast next to Rusty. And Rusty is probably a young Mark Trail. This strip finally makes sense; it’s all some mushroom-induced hallucination taking place in Mark’s head. That would explain all the giant talking animals.

    FW: Here’s a great strategy for getting top-notch care for your gravely ill husband: sarcastically disagree with the dedicated medical staff trying to save his life. They are bound to work extra hard to save your husband’s life when they see what a jaded bitch he will be coming home to.

    MW: Because, we all recognize Mother Nature at a glance! She’s a young hippy girl with a flower necklace … or an old lady wearing a laurel wreath … or something else … fuck it, let’s crossover with Mark Trail and make a hooked bass jumping out of the cake.

  19. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @Here Come the Judge (#16): Who do you think you are, Albert Camus?

  20. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#18): Who do you think yoiu are, Kurt Vonnegut?
    //Saturday comments are always high quality but note that the COTW tends to be a Friday comment.

  21. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#20): “Saturday comments are always high quality” – not necessarily my comments, however.

  22. bats :[
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Take note, serial strips: today’s RMMD is the way you set up for a thrilling, multi-planel and possibly secksy, secksy Sunday strip!
    Of course, that happens weekly in MT, with neat critters taking priority over silly people sittin’ around talkin’.

  23. bats :[
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    And, of course, the laffs just keep on coming in FW…

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    A&J: my thoughts exactly.

    Lio: “Dad, do we have any chainsaws?”

    PBS: Pig is Wilber Westen.

    SBp: laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

    Zits: fish skeleton!!!

    MG&G: *old lady voice*boooooooooooo!*/old lady voice*

    PMP: KLANG!!!! (leave the puns to Pastis, and the social commentary to Miller.)

    RMMD: if that scream (and June’s reaction face) is due to Rex wearing June’s “too small for a nurse to wear” bikini, I will never say a bad word about RMMD ever again.

    RwO: perky breast powers failed to activate.

  25. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s St. Petersburg Times has an obituary for a local fishing guide by the name of Dean Allen Parks. That’s a completely unremarkable moniker for a professional angler — although the obit also quotes one of DAP’s longtime friends (and fellow fishing guide) Gunner Gause.

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . 3rd world sex tours?!?!? (I got nothin’)

  27. bbofun
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Yes! Yes! MEET THE PEACOCK! (Sorry- it just seems like my prediction for this storyline is coming true.) (I may need a life.)

    ASM- Give credit where credit is due- panel 2 is the best thing I’ve seen all week.

    A3G- “The moon is too bright and the city seems too quiet. Something here feels wrong. Plus, I’m the next James Bond, yet I’m internal monologuing like Sam Spade. also, I’M the next James Bond. Something definitely feels wrong here.”

    DT- Prepare for arrival of Takei in 5-4-3-2-

    FW- If you were all lucky, you wouldn’t be in the black void of doom. Or in Funky Winkerbean.

    JP- Sam’s confused by the term “unintended expense.” “Unintended profit,” sure, but “expense?”

    RMMD- “Oh my God! He’s showing everyone ‘little Rex!’ Oh, the humanity!”

    MW- Holy crap- it’s love!

    Plus-”Let’s see if it works without it first.” Um- you’re looking at it, right? it’s a puce cake with puce roses. It doesn’t work- trust me.

    And also- “It’s easier to add than subtract.” This isn’t the final cake, right? So, no- you should put everything on it now, then take away what doesn’t work.

    9CL- He’s noticed us, people! He’s noticed us! (Oh, and Brooke? Sometimes, “he who can’t” tries and fails.)

    LOVE IS…cosplay.

  28. Kevin
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Is ‘poolside’ the new ‘roadside’?

  29. pugfuggly
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MT ‘Maybe he’ll tell me what his favourite lure is. Not right away though, because once we cover that and what pound test line he prefers, I’m basically out of questions…’

    SFx No two elephants are the same! Sure, numbers 2 and 5 look similar, but they each have their own specific duck-related fetishes. And while that not make much difference to us, I can tell you that in a couple minutes duck 5 is going to be quite sorry he got paired with that particular elephant.

    GT ‘The more you stress about shooting, the harder my peacock gets. Ooops, now I’m worried about dribbling….”

  30. Lanfranc
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT: As you know, most fishermen are very popular in the community.

    JP: Um. If I were Ned, I’d maybe think about switching banks. Perhaps to one that observes basic standards of privacy, such as not letting third parties access your statements whenever they feel like it. Or sending out concerned letters about your financial situation (I assume) without your consent.

  31. Illustrator Steve
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#18): “That’s Mark wearing the hat in the final panel, right?”

    MT – Yes it is. That’s because Bluegill asked Mark to work his afternoon UPS shift for him while he takes Rusty fishing. Mark figured delivering packages would be better than fishing with Rusty, plus he gets a chance to make a few bucks.

  32. Illustrator Steve
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#4): Your remark would look NEAT spray painted across Jackelrod’s studio window!

  33. Little Blue Bicycle
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    GT: “I need to meet the peacock” means an interview with Hoda and Kathie Lee. Cheers!

  34. Cleve Barrister
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    JP-$10K a MONTH? What college kid gets $10K a MONTH to spend? You mean, so long as Neddie “only” spends $10K a MONTH she’s NOT “excessively” spending? And, what exactly is the “crack, on top of things” secretary doing if she has the records and doesn’t say anything to Sam?

  35. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    I find this very clever and amusing. Baka Gaijin, however, would not.

    Helen Clark spotted at local gym.

    Smart Car like a SIR!

    how Poteet does pest control.

    Overly Dramatic Otter.

    TDP: another Retriever.

    ikkle merlepup. *brainmush*

    Mardi Gras corgi.

  36. pugfuggly
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    ASM “Of course you’ll probably be caught and euthanized, but I’ll mash up a banana on your graves, or at least the medical waste dumpster you end up in!”

    FW Lady, if he were lucky you’d all be living the high life in Rex Morgan or Judge Parker instead of being tortured in this miserable strip.

    MW Now, I don’t want to say that my runner-up comment from yesterday was prescient just yet, but oh-my-f’ing-god-please-please-PLEASE make it a Mary Nudie!!!!

    Pluggers reproduce by parthenogenesis, apparently….

  37. Illustrator Steve
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Mt – How did the comic strip censors miss that big cock someone drew in panel #2?

  38. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MT:
    “As you know, Mark, fisherman are good people, but Rod Bassy is a bad egg. Real bad!”
    “Ooh, I can’t wait to find out what fishing lure he uses!”
    “….Maybe I was unclear on the whole ‘as you know’ thing….”

    GT: She’s going to NBC to get some help.

    SFx: This one would be very different if the syndicate would let them draw an elephant penis and urine.

  39. bats :[
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

  40. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#4): Jack Elrod conveys information daftly daffily.

    FIFY

  41. Walker of Dog
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#35): I’m looking forward to the next pictures in the sequence, when Helen takes a swing at the photographer, then tries to dry-hump him.

    SFox: Eliminate #4: that’s the only version where they haven’t agreed on a safe word.

    MT: “Good luck with that!” Let’s assume Mark meant this sincerely. Otherwise, sarcasm will have entered the Trailverse, and my grip on reality will be lost.

  42. flatlander
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MT: So Rod Bassy is not “good people” yet Mark still wants to get into a boat with him? Didn’t he learn anything from the last story line?

  43. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Pfft. Asyouknow Bob is one of the finest literary characters ever created. FINEST.

  44. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-The Peacock? If you want to see the Peacock you need to be over in “Dick Tracy” not “Gil Thorp”.

    MT-At what point will it be revealed that Rusty has been brought along as a bargaining chip because that is the only reason I can think of Mark bringing him along.

  45. Illustrator Steve
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT – “I’d like to go out with him on his boat.”
    “Good luck with that! One word of advise if you do, Mark. If you see him getting ready to turn the boat while speeding up you had best be tightly holding on to the gunnel!”
    “No problem, I’m an expert on holding onto the gunnel!”

  46. Tom Goo
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    I make things on myself too. Still waiting on those fried eggs.

  47. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    3G – Greg’s horrible secret is casually revealed. When the sun goes down, and the full moon rides high in the sky, he’s one of the faceless, nameless ones: a secret Smurf — an azurethrope — a were-blue!

  48. CanuckDownSouth
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    MW: They’ve backtracked from the 3-tier sketch of basic polka dots to a single tier straight from the beginner’s Wilton “how to use icing tips” class whose most challenging aspect is getting the icing to a precise pepto-bismol pink.

    Makes you wonder whether a more subtle writer-artist war is going on here than the one in A3G: the artist will actually put a cake on-panel, but won’t make it look like anything you’d glance twice at in our era of TV challenges with dramatic life-size cake sculptures or even barely-edible animatronics.

  49. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    A3G-I prefer the old saying of “Just lie back and think of England”.

    Spiderman-These weren’t those nice chimps like in the “Wizard of OZ” these were like those super intelligent chimps in “The Planet of the Apes”.

  50. TheDiva
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    GT: Today’s phrase to work into conversation: “I need to meet the peacock!”

    MT: JK Rowling once said that if she needed something explained, she would usually have Dumbledore or Hermione explain it because they were the characters you would expect to know all this random stuff. Coming at it from the opposite direction, if Mark Trail needs to explain something they should be explaining it to Rusty and his boundless ignorance. Or possibly Kelly Welly.

  51. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: …And he who is a pompous, insufferable ass pretends that he never reads “internet comments boards,” and besides, those beefwits can’t spell, let alone use a thesaurus.

  52. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT-”Good luck with that. I hear he likes women.”

  53. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Rex and the Surfer Dudes Go Poolside”. Now available at seedier video stores everywhere.

    FC: Jeffy goes all Ahnald on a goldfish. This pretty much says all you need to know about Jeffy.

    MW: John Dill wants to create a cake with an image of Mary Worth, to illustrate “the beauty of nature”. That’s … cake of a kind… I suppose… But what if children see it? They’d be scarred forever!

    JP: Yeah, room and board for a struggling college student in a city like Paris can really run up the bills. However, we saw that Abby bought a condo for Neddy on their trip to Paris, didn’t we? She just sat down and wrote a check for something like $750K for it. So with that expense already taken care of in advance, then, you would think that poor Neddy ought to be able to scrape by on a mere… OK, who am I trying to kid. A mere pittance of $10K per month barely makes a dent, when you’re trying to earn your art degree by purchasing the Louvre.

  54. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns: HAHAHAHA…oh, fudge.

  55. TheDiva
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: Today’s “McEldowney-to-Human” translation:
    Thorax: “My critics are stupid idiots for criticizing me! Clearly if they cannot appreciate me they contribute nothing valuable to society, unlike me who graces the world with my wonderful artistic art.”
    Other Guy: “That sounds like the ramblings of a petty egotist who has not learned how to handle feedback–good, bad, or in-between–and who is so wrapped up in his limited, self-centered world that he cannot even begin to comprehend the perspectives of other people.”
    Thorax: “You’re one of them!”

    C’shaft: Crankshaft will suffer a debilitating stroke before planting season, won’t he?

    FW: And speaking of debilitating strokes…”Lady, if he were lucky he wouldn’t be living in this town. But look on the bright side: his grotesque, lopsided facial expressions will fit right in here.”

    Luann: Wasn’t that already decided? Or am I thinking of that clear-thinking go-getter Tiffany, and not Luann the flake?

    MW: ….What was that someone said about Mary Worth wearing nothing but fig leaves?

    Pluggers never venture more than five miles from a Wal-Mart.

    Retail: Hey, I worked inventory in college. The jobs were at hours when sane, normal people were comfortably asleep in their beds, shifts were upwards of 16-20 hours, and they made us wear vests that made the Wal-Mart employees look like runway models. Nobody looks good under those conditions.

    SM: Beaten by monkeys. The LVPD is making Spider-Man look good.

  56. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT-His favorite lure is a big bag of money with a dollar sign on it.

  57. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    MW-It doesn’t matter what is on the cake it will all be pink.

  58. Tom T.
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: I broke my rule and read a Thorax strip, and now I’m paying for it.

  59. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Those who can do, those who cannot draw men whose heads look like penises.

  60. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: And so, Kraven escapes to commit crimes against fashion later.

  61. Dariaclone
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    SF: So, is Sally pregnant?

  62. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    9CL-I know a site that guy can go to since Brooke can’t handle criticism.

    Gil Thorp-Bigger? But you said that it was a good size.

  63. aprilglaspie
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    My God, they’ve put Rex Morgan in the Wicker Man.

  64. Downpuppy
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Love is…indulging his cravings for dress up & teenage boys.

  65. CowKing
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    SFx Okay I have spent way way way more time than an adult should looking at these stupid elephants. But for the life of me I can’t tell the difference between 1 and 3 and it is frustrating me. I’ve been noticing little things over the past few weeks that are hints that I might be losing it, and this is the last straw, I could explain away misplacing things and forgetting important things, but this is a kids game and I can’t do it. Argh!

  66. flatlander
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MW: Don’t forget the shredded coconut. (I can’t get that image out of my mind, God help me)

  67. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    This is where Scott breaks out his spot-on Butt-Head impression. “Uh, hey, baby, you wanna see my peacock, uh-huh-huh-huh…’Peacock’…huh-huh…”

  68. CowKing
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @aprilglaspie (#63): Not the bees! AAAAAHHHHHH My eyes my eyes AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MqTCIDKhU

  69. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Okay, so Neddy gets a monthly allowance of 10,000 – about $120k/year. Meanwhile, the average American child receives about $780/year. Median income for an American family last year was $50,504. Using highly advanced mathematics and reverse-engineering from UFO’s, this allows us to calculate that if Sam and Abbey give Neddy the typical .0015 of their income in allowance, they’re raking in on the order of $7.75 million a year.

    The Driver-Spencers are the top .1%, or too rich to give a shit what happens in this strip.

  70. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: My precious, my precious precious dishcloth will be my muse and guide to nature from now on, you silly old lady…

  71. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    9CL-Those who can’t will use their comic strip as soap box about how great they are and how others don’t recognize their genius and complain about people not recognizing their genius.

    9CL 2-Does anyone have a mirror they can put in front of Brooke’s face because he is sounding like the people is railing against.

  72. Digger
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    MT: I see Bluegill has served up dull little round things to his guests, proving that he is a student of Mary Worth’s cooking. I guess we’ll soon be seeing him in a cake-decorating competition.

  73. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @CowKing (#65): Check the ears.

  74. Downpuppy
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @CowKing (#65): Tip of the elephants left ear is rounded on 3.

  75. endless sky
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: This strip never appeared in any paper I’ve read, so it’s always been easy to ignore. I continue to ignore it online. Try it. Your life will be better for it. And thank you, Josh, for not commenting on it.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois Thirsty must have gotten a new car between 1968 and 1972. The strip started in 1954, so he must have supported Adlai Stevenson, Richard Nixon, Goldwater, and Humphrey. (No McCain sticker?! No George Bush the 1st?) // It would be interesting to sit down with Thirsty with a Big-Box-o-Beer, and really talk politics. He’s gone liberal to conservative to liberal and back so many times, he really must have some perspective!

    JP: Neddy is a student in Paris, on a $120K a year allowance, no rent. Sweet.

    Luann: “I want to help others, so politics or law.” Good thinking. And if you changed your goal to wanting to hurt others, it would work just as well.

    PBS: Pastis must be rolling in the big bucks from Kraft! — Product placement rules!

    xkcd: Really? Fat has 85% of the energy of gasoline, and 62% more than coal? Quick! To the Krispy Kreme! We have an energy crisis to solve!

  77. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): Re: xkcd, why do you think we biodiesel cars that smell like french fries?

  78. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Here’s a different way of understanding the Driver-Spencer wealth (metaphorically).

  79. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G-New York City quiet? The city hasn’t been quiet since September 11th, 2001. Oops sorry about that Greg that hasn’t happened to you guys yet. Spoilers.

    Crankshaft-And your Gardening Angel knows something that it wants to plant.

    FC-You see what happens, Klaus, when you’ve pissed off Seth Macfarlane.

    FW-If he’s not lucky he will become Crankshaft.

    FW 2-”He would be in another hospital. A better hospital.”

    Gil Thorp-The way she says it makes the peacock sound like some sort of crime boss or drug dealer.

    Love Is-They’re wearing clothes. Why are they wearing clothes?

    MT-The rooster in the second panel is an allusion as to what Rod’s favorite lure is. It’s his big cock.

    MT 2-”I don’t need luck. I brought Rusty along with me as a bargaining chip. Maybe I’ll finally be rid of this dead weight once and for all.”

    MW-You already have this all pink abomination that is your cake. Adding anything else to it can’t hurt the design anymore.

    MW 2-”Do you think we used too much pink on the cake? I don’t want the flowers and the garland to have disappeared.”

    RMMD-Now comes the moment of overreacting when we all know that Mark is just demonstrating CPR to these people.

    Archie-At last an honest critique of Mary Worth’s cooking. It’s got to be Mary Worth who else makes unidentifiable lumps of solid color.

    9CL-”He who can take criticism allows others to leave comments. He who cannot take criticism leaves the comment section blocked.”

  80. Jon the Red
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, Slylock Fox turns into a Curtis Kwanzaa story crossed with a sleazy porno. “Thanks for the bath,” the duck told the elephant, “but I don’t have any money! Isn’t there some…other way I could repay you?” The duck’s tongue rolled out of its mouth, its breath heavy. Later, a Slylock mystery will hinge on the fact that ducks have a bone in their tongues.

  81. yaoi huntress earth
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Barry, you never fail to act like you’re half your age.

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#77): I quite like the previous “Hand Sanitizer” one, and who doesn’t like trebuchets?!?

  83. MySpoonIsTooBig
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    MT- To make this arc more amusing for me, I will just imagine Hank Hill in Mark’s place and just imagine him happily absorbing every boring detail. Actually, a King of the Hill/Mark Trail crossover has an astounding potential for the Humor of Boring which I can not get enough of!

  84. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36):

    Of all the phrases that I can imagine must exist somewhere on the internet, but still hope are exceptions to Rule 34 and have never actually been written, “oh-my-f’ing-god-please-please-PLEASE make it a Mary Nudie!!!!” would be pretty high up on my list.

  85. Chaze
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I fully expect Rod Bassy to match the Rock Hudson character from “Man’s Favorite Sport,” ie a fraud. That movie was released in 1964, which makes it pretty much a contemporary of this strip.

  86. Doctor Handsome
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    “As you know, Mark, most fishermen are good people. Not like those shitbird golfers.”

  87. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#77): …why do you think we biodiesel cars that smell like french fries?

    I figured McDonalds just paid those guys to drive around to gin up business.

    // Hm. I have sudden, inexplicable urge for MickeyDs!

  88. Chaze
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    I heard that Kraven is gonna hook up with Kim and Kanye. Along with the “K” thing, they all share a fashion sense and desire for propriety.

  89. Doctor Handsome
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Tom Goo (#46): Now I can’t stop picturing her eating fried eggs off her belly like an otter.

  90. Pogo the anthropomorphic
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#79): Love Is-They’re wearing clothes. Why are they wearing clothes?
    John Ashcroft has a photo op in Monday’s strip.

  91. Pogo the anthropomorphic
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Love is….. Conquering more land for the empire.

  92. Doctor Handsome
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp answers the question: What if Johnny Test went to Degrassi?

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#84): …have never actually been written…

    Until now. I hope you are proud of yourself.

  94. Doctor Handsome
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Slylock Fox is already being adapted into a Kevin James/Rob Schneider vehicle by the good folks at Happy Madison.

  95. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Pogo the anthropomorphic (#91): I too thought at first the outfit had a kind of British Raj empire builder look to it, but now I think it’s just a fireman suit. Now, had he been wearing a sword instead of an axe…

  96. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Luann-”Why do I have to do this horse training job in Tijuana?”

  97. Baka Gaijin
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#53) on Judge Parker: Ha ha! Purchasing the Louvre. With the way France’s economy is going, it may consider that sale.

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#59): Explains Herb and Jamaal too.

  98. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    JP-Living in Europe can be very taxing.

  99. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#59): Wasn’t that a Slylock Fox “How to draw…” thing?

  100. Aviatrix
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Jon the Red (#80): Too bad it’s a kids’ strip. I’d like to see them make it relevant that the duck has a spiral penis that it sheds after mating season.

  101. KreatureFeatures
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Suggested quotes for Mary Worth:

    “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
    ? Salvador Dalí

    “We made too many wrong mistakes.”
    ? Yogi Berra

  102. KreatureFeatures
    January 19th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    … or for me, either way.

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#101): I suspect that the Dali quote is bogus. I can only find it on dubious sites like brainyquotes, and it is never attributed — where, or when, or to whom he said or wrote it.

    Therefore, you are right: It is perfect for Mary Worth.

    // Probably it was Albert Camus anyway.

    // I never check the veracity of Yogi Berra quotes. It wrong to do so.

  104. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Excuse me, Dill, but when was the last time you brushed your teeth.”

    MW 2-If there are going to be any leaves on this cake I hope that they will be mint.

  105. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @yesterday’s Baka Gaijin (#34):
    Salmon square squeezin’s.

    Oh my fjord!

    You are probably right.

    //but unicorn blood is magic! Why just a little spritz makes the world fill up with wunnerful, wunnerful moosiks!

    he lives in the bland down under!
    Six feet four
    and buns of thunder!
    Only Mark Trail
    Speaks his language
    They leg wrestle
    like squirrels a mating
    and then eat
    a salmon square sammich.

    //men without hats, men without work or yahoo serious? I’m not sure. my aussie cultural encyclopedia ( i.e. a beer coaster collection) is missing some sections.

  106. Uncle Lumpy
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#17):

    That’s what happens when you outsource a zombie strip to North Korea.

    “As you know, Mark, most Space Conquerors are moved by loving concern for the people.”

  107. gnome de blog
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    I say we Barney Google the whole Spencer-Driver gang and concentrate on Needy’s adventures in Paris with Cedric the Butler and April working it like a claw – she’s a spy, right?

    Oh, and Sociology Girl too.

  108. un malpaso
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Re Josh’s MT comment:

    There actually are people who go around telling each other things that they both already know. These people are called “severe Alzheimer’s patients.”

    Interestingly enough, the Venn diagram connecting them with the average Mark Trail readership is a perfect circle. BAM!

  109. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#105):

    argh.

    now that i look, my canadian cultural dictionary (a barely used roll of Brawny Paper Towels) is missing the entire section on ‘Eh?’. Now it just goes from beer to der.

    Thankfully, my Swedish Chef –> English Dictionary is chock full of nuts.

    Drat! My Russo dictionary doesn’t seem to have Rene Russo’s telephone number in it.

    Mein Hinterland Encyclopediagamarung seems to be outdated. Not that I’m saurkrauten about it.

    My little Black Book au Francais–i.e. La Wee Wee Biblio Avec Moi–now that is a useful resource.

    //oh wait! is this a site about the best ever comic strips in the world?! Where are my manners?
    Dagwood is also called Durwood! Apparently Blondie’s side of the family are witches and warlocks!

  110. Esther Blodgett
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    I *finally* have some free time to spend here, and I’m confronted with bird-based sexual perversions at every turn. Giant cocks, sexually depraved ducks, whatever the hell “meet the peacock” means… I’m really glad to be here, is what I’m saying.

  111. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    MW Remember that margarine commercial a few years ago? The one with the line, “It’s not nice to fool meddle with Mother Nature!”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLrTPrp-fW8
    That’s how I picture Mother Nature. If Mary is the inspiration for John Dill, wouldn’t she be more like “Yenta Nature”?

    FW Lucky? Lucky in Westview? *snicker*
    No, you can be Funky, Crazy, or even Less, but no one is “Lucky” in Westview. Ever.

  112. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    The moon is too bright,
    the city too quiet.
    Something feels wrong –
    a box-enclosed schlong?

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

    Who’s in the closet?
    Who’s drunk on muscat?
    Who dreams of Eric -
    Who reads this comic?

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

    Someone plays James Bond
    with a ditzy blonde
    to be his girlfriend -
    can Magee contend?

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

    Evan betrays her
    Greg undresses her
    Which one will she choose -
    Will she take the booze?

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

    Somewhere waits scheming
    while you are dreaming
    Aunt Kathy, falsest
    of the publicists.

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

    The moon is too bright,
    the city too quiet.
    Something feels wrong –
    a box-enclosed schlong?

    Don’t be foolish—you’re just tired.
    Close your eyes and dream about Margo.

  113. Sequitur
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Somehow that cake in Mary Worth makes me think of this.

  114. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    MT-Most fishermen are good people except for those dirty lying bearded fishermen who need a taste of your fists.

  115. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#35):

    Helen Clark spotted at local gym.

    BWAHAHAHA!
    Thanks for the reminder – we should never forget Helen Clark! (Who does her hair? The old girl is looking good!)

  116. bats :[
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

  117. DaveyK
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I think the censors at Gil Thorp took the word “hard” out of the second word balloon, and forgot to replace it with something else, for fear that otherwise it was simply impossible to read this dialog as referring to anything other than penises. Sadly for them, it’s still impossible.

  118. Baka Gaijin
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#113): I’d have thought Mooch burying his poop in the cake would be more appropriate.

  119. I speak Jive
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Sounds like Brooke is working up to a hissy fit and is about to bring out the sock puppet again.

    Bizarro – I run into these people every time I go to the grocery store.

  120. Aviatrix
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#109): I guess that’s the best he could do for an alias. What intrigues me about the strip is that Dagwood has a basement, and a hobby other than napping and eating. Have we ever seen Dagwood in his workshop before? I love the combination of modern safety glasses with that old-timey radio.

    //Maybe the Bumsteads have a fallout shelter under their house.

  121. hogenmogen
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#69): You have to remember the exchange rate isn’t very favorable ($10,000 is 7500 Euros), and even when the Euro and the dollar are on par, things are more expensive in Paris. So she only has like $6000 per month of effective spending. That’s slave wages.

    Actually, when I went to school, aside from tuition, I probably spent $10k on books, food, rent, clothes and entertainmnet – in total.

  122. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    MT: Shortest Woodsy Wildlife story ever:
    Delta Wood Bomber.”
    -by Mark Trail

  123. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 19th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    Apologies if someone else has already noted this, but apparently, Albert Camus is commenting on Mary Worth on the Seattle PI site. No wonder he keeps generating quotes for her: They’re in cahoots!

  124. hogenmogen
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    As you know, Bluegill, it’s not polite to wear your hat at the breakfast table.

    As you know, CCers, Rusty never gets to go fishing. He’s going to be left on shore as Mark, Rod and Catfish go off in the boat. The fact that he could fish from shore doesn’t dawn on the little mongrel. How sad.

  125. Ukulele Ike
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    JP: Hey, I was a student in Paris, too, back when I was 19….trying to cram enough of the language into my head to complete my Comp Lit major at Yale.

    I recall sharing a tiny studio apartment off the Rue LePic on Montmartre, with one large sprung mattress and a two-burner stove, and feeding ourselves on five or six bucks a day. Which meant lots of baguettes and three-franc bottles of plonk. Once every couple weeks we’d treat ourselves to a greasy spoon like Restaurant Chartier (http://www.restaurant-chartier.com/www/visit/filsdesans.php), where a plate of the Choucroute Garnie — a pile of steamed sauerkraut, two frankfurters, and a boiled potato, a Strasbourger would blush with embarrassment — set you back about four bucks American. And a three-franc bottle of plonk.

    So, yeah, I guess Neddy’s having herself a fine ol’ time. Say bonjour to La Tour d’Argent for me, Neddy!

  126. Majicou
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#119): [9CL] It’s like when a toddler is preparing to throw a truly massive tantrum–you can just tell.

  127. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-Rachel, my wife doesn’t understand me like you do.

  128. Ukulele Ike
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Oooops, wanted that to be a menu link.

    http://www.restaurant-chartier.com/www/visit/atable.php

  129. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    MT-”What’s this yellow stuff we’re eating? All we ever eat is pancakes.”

  130. Aviatrix
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    As compensation for the devastating lack of actual cake design in Mary Worth, I demand that the story reveal that Dill murdered his wife, knowing that Mary wouldn’t be able to resist meddling in his bereavement. He made up the cake design dream on the spot. That explains his complete ignorance of anything related to cake design, and how he could be responding to Mary’s domineering interference with anything but hostility. I’ll leave it to Moy to decide whether his ultimate goal is to win Mary’s love or to bury her in a shallow grave.

  131. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    MW-”A few sniffs of this ether soaked rag and I’ll have enough inspiration that Mary will look good as Mother Nature.”

    GA-These guys are so slow that Rufus’ draft notice to go to Vietnam has finally arrived.

    DT-”Can we finally lay to rest the mystery of this Jimmy Hoffa fellow?”

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#120): Have we ever seen Dagwood in his workshop before?

    Oh yes. Dagwood is a woodworking hobbyist, though it hasn’t come up in awhile. Surprisingly, he’s pretty competent at it too — I remember strips where he’s built good looking bookshelves, and dressers and such. There is a running gag (running over decades, that is) that he is often frustrated in his projects because Herb has borrowed so many of his tools.

    The woodworking hobby hasn’t come up that often recently. There was a time, in the ’50s and ’60s when suburban dad’s like D. Bumstead would, several times a year, try to build some project or other from Popular Mechanics. It was a regular guy thing.

    Woodworking is still a pretty big, but the people involved are much more serious, and it’s more expensive to play. New Yankee Workshop kind of stuff, if you’ve ever seen that show.

  133. Aviatrix
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    We’ve been assuming that in panel two Mary is talking about the candy figurine. She could be considering adding John to her swingers’ group. Look at her eyes in panel one: she’s not sizing up the ridiculous pink cake.

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): dads – that darn apostrophe key of mine is sticking!

  135. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    Beetle – I won’t have you say a word against Halftrack’s robo-call gal. That’s Rachel discrimination!

    9He who can, deals with criticism, ignores it, or uses it to improve himself. He who can’t, has regular little hissy fits self-righteous outbursts against unnamed individuals on the internet. [*]

    Dogs – Yeah, tell me that’s not a piece of frozen poo.

  136. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    Smirky – And if he was Lucky Eddie, he’d be a Viking.

    Liberty Meadows – The repeat cycle here is getting smaller and smaller. Soon it’s just going to be the word “Jump!” repeated endlessly. Then just “J!”

    Mary – “I know just where to look for inspiration for a candy figurine of Mother Nature. Mary! Cuz she’s a candy ass!”

  137. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Pearls – A friend of mine came up with a whip-wielding superhero, many years back, and was looking for a better name than “Whipmaster.” I suggested “Jack the Whipper.” We never spoke of it again.

    Prickly – Drones are kind of a hot topic today. Mentioned in Mother Goose and Grimm, and then this one’s been droning on and on for days, changing the punch line slightly in ways that would make Slylock tear his head fur off.

    R=R – what the breaded and fried fuck

    Family – Even the goldfish, with its one-minute memory and life spent in a barren and tiny bowl, thinks Jeffy’s slipped off the shallow end and shuffled off to Gumbo Land.

  138. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#y43): The rooster in the second panel is an allusion as to what Rod’s favorite lure is. It’s his big cock.
    As you know, they call him Rod because this one time, they were trying to fish, and he just kept showing everybody his rod. Wouldn’t stop. His real name’s Dick Biggles.

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#125): … a plate of the Choucroute Garnie — a pile of steamed sauerkraut, two frankfurters, and a boiled potato … set you back about four bucks American. And a three-franc bottle of plonk.

    I see your love of French cuisine still remains strong!

    // Thanks for the link. I’ll bookmark it.

  140. Calico
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    My condolences Josh, I heard that Earl F-in Weaver F-in passed away last night.
    ^$%#%@*&!
    http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/01/19/earl-weaver-1930-2013/related/

  141. Calico
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Earl’s classic spoof rant, unearthed years ago
    (NSFW or Kidz-he had quite the potty mouth)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWQbN0jFo_k

  142. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#138): “So, where the hell was Biggles when you needed him last Saturday?”

  143. kanomi
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Like Josh’s inexplicable late-game romance with Heathcliff, we can only assume that this latest Mark Trail storyline will be all sound and fury, signifying something. Something over there…

    Wasn’t Michael Vick important NFL guy once? He made dogs fight? To the death? Mark Trail likes animals? The steadfast refusal of these crap comics to address even six year old issues is frustrating.

  144. The Ridger
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    ASM I would pay good money for them to spin off a strip featuring Kraven on the run with three chimps and the showgirl. Especially if they took to fighting crime. And extra especially if the elephant came, too.

  145. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    MT: We haven’t even seen Rod Bassy yet and a local has already told us in no uncertain terms that he’s evil. Ann Eiffel’s sportsman brother, perhaps?

    GT: “Meeting the peacock.” “Going roadside” for a new generation.

    Curtis: Interesting. Now we know for sure which parent Barry will side with if he’s only able to manipulate one at a time. And now I think I’ll join Greg in prayer, specifically for amnesia.

    MW: That’s not inspiration, John. It’s delusion. There’s nothing natural about Mary Worth.

    FW: If you mean you wouldn’t be in Funky Winkerbean, I can’t argue with you.

    BH: Stanley blames the same people for everything. Now for a long time he was torn between scapegoating the Jews and the Mexicans, but finally…

    9CL: “There’s a beefwit born every minute.” – Albert Camus

    RMMD: What happens when the shallow end of the medical profession dives into the deep end of the pool.

    GA: For one, out and out conscription hasn’t been in place since Vietnam. For two, I’m assuming the armed forces still have some kind of standards.

    H&L: Confirmation that Thirsty has had the same car since 1972. Frankly I’m disappointed not to see an Alf Landon sticker up in there.

    Blondie: Dagwood’s nom de call-in makes me want to pour one out for Agnes Moorhead.

    FC: If Merriam-Webster are looking for a picture to illustrate “captive audience” they’re in luck.

    A3G: “Just close your eyes and dream about Margo. And relax. Bolle only draws us from the waist up, so no one can see what your hand is doing.”

  146. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#138):

    I heard wrong then.
    I thought it was Dick Biggens.
    um…emm…eh.

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#144): Actually seeing Kraven in today’s flashback made me regret that Hostess – whether or not it continues to exist – doesn’t do those one page superhero ads for Frut Pies anymore.

  148. Stroker Ace
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    MT – The was a porn star in the ’70′s by the name of ‘Rod B. Assy’. Coincidence or conspiracy?

  149. pugfuggly
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#84):

    Are you saying that just by writing ‘Mary Nudie’ on this blog I am condemning the world to a Mary Worth porn? Because if that’s true I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself….!

  150. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    And a three-franc bottle of plonk.

    Plonk.
    Is that an appropriate name for the results of drinking it?

  151. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#111):

    If Mary is the inspiration for John Dill, wouldn’t she be more like “Yenta Nature”?

    Well Mary is a mother, but her grown son never shows up and is rarely spoken of. Take that as you will.

  152. The Ridger
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I think June’s supposed to be wearing her famous not-a-bikini-after-all under that hoodie, but the color monkeys have instead given her the oddest-looking pants ever.

  153. Peanut Gallery
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): H&L – The lost cause he’s referring to is his car. He doesn’t care what’s on the bumper stickers, they’re just the only thing holding the rear end of the car together.

  154. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): Re H&L: I didn’t see Mondale either. Bush the 1st is excluded, I’m assuming, because like Carter he won before he lost.

  155. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#27):

    DT- Prepare for arrival of Takei in 5-4-3-2-

    Oh my!

  156. Sequitur
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft is stuck again on the Darkgate. Maybe it wouldn’t get so boring if it were recaptioned!

  157. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#148): …And you would know this, how?

  158. Calico
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#150):
    Sounds like a French country song. : )

  159. Calico
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#150):
    I found this – sounds like French slang for “Blanc.”
    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/plonk

  160. Pogo the anthropomorphic
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#159): You skipped the 2nd definition
    n. Chiefly British Slang
    Cheap or inferior wine.

  161. Downpuppy
    January 19th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#148): On the train yesterday, I was between Broad Assy & Bad Gassy. Yes, they smelled of elderberries.

  162. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”Meet the peacock” is that anything like “Ride the snake” from the Sixties.

  163. Zerowolf
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: It’s easier to add gthan to subtract, and dividing by fractions is a real pain in the ass.

  164. Zerowolf
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Now this all makes sense, Greg is really Dumbass Smurf.

  165. Écureuil Écumant
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    MT: It’s been much too long since the last time I saw Elrod’s water tower.

  166. Zerowolf
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Remember Ed, this is the Batuikverse, any season is a perfect season for pushing up daisies.

  167. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Dariaclone (#61): That’s what I was wondering. Everyone assumes that the first sign of it is barfing in the mornings, but overwhelming fatigue often shows up before that.

  168. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#119): He’s been having more and more of these fits lately, too.

    //Do you think he reads this site? Or is there another community of smartass commenters who are yanking his chain? Or is he getting a whack-ton of mean email? Inquiring minds are curious.

  169. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#167): It occurs to me that, out of context, this could apply to many things.

    Such as reading Funky Winkerbean or Luann, say.

  170. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#155): I am SHOCKED that it took as long as it did for someone to make that reply.

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    The great thing about Albert Camus:
    One can make up quotations untrue.
    It may be unfair
    To the late great Albert,
    But since he is dead, he can’t sue.

  172. John C Fremont
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Back in my day, Plonk was Ronnie Lane. And we liked it that way.

    Now get off my lawn!

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#170): Well, it just felt like something was missing. ;)

  174. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#165): if you know what I mean, and I think that you do. . . .

  175. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Pogo the anthropomorphic (#160): @Calico (#158):

    In my mind it “sounds” like a something a drunken French speaker would say in making fun of what they are drinking while backhanding a beach ball off of their chin (with fingers splayed).

    “Give me some more of that PL-AAHN-K, mu-el!”

  176. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#175):
    I’m serious!
    More plonk, mule!

  177. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#171):

    The great thing about Albert Camus
    (known to each and every great shamus):
    to him can be pinned
    a multitude of sins
    every fake quote done by one of us.

  178. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#173): *gigglez*

    well, SOMEbody had to say it. I managed to restrain myself, but glad to see it regardless.

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#177):

    What I like about Rt. Ven. Pasdordan,
    He’s a spirit of poetry man.
    No slave to conventional rhyme,
    (A slant rhyme works just fine)
    And if it doesn’t work he’ll find something that can.

  180. Illustrator Steve
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    MT – Mark must take that little tea cup with him wherever he goes.

  181. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#125): So on those special occasions when you went to the greasy spoon restaurant you dined on rather more substantial fare than you routinely ate back in your apartment, but you drank the very same wine. The food changed, but the plonk’s constant.

  182. Droopy Says
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#9): It could be worse. I could sound surpassingly like Jack Elrod.

  183. JLow24
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Our local paper publishes the Sunday comics on Saturday (apparently no news happens on Sundays, so they cut that edition), and I can safely say that tomorrow’s Rex Morgan has the most awesome panel in the history of comics. Even better than “More zippers, mule!” It will be emblazoned on T-shirts and mugs for years to come.

  184. Peanut Gallery
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#95): Hmm, what kind of sword would be appropriate for a British Raj– (everyone on CC yells “NOOOO!”)

  185. Anonymous
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#181): Well played, sir. Well played.

  186. Majicou
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#185): That was me.

  187. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#179):

    The great thing about Albert Camus
    Know to every great Shamu?

  188. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#180): MT – Mark must take that little tea cup with him wherever he goes.

    That’s true. It was a gift from his mother. He has a custom made metal case for it, lined with foam rubber. He also takes that water tower with him, for his specially distilled water, to preserve his precious bodily fluids. The tower and tank are cleverly engineered to fold up and fit in the back of his DeSoto station wagon.

  189. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#181): 6.626068 claps.

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#187): Keep on, it’s a whale of a verse!

  191. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#187): I think I get you:

    The great thing about Albert Camus
    (known to each and every great shamus):
    to him can be pinned
    a multitude of sin
    and most every quote anonymous.

  192. Peanut Gallery
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#125): “In this wonderful place, favourable for sweet nostalgy, fifty billions bellies have been satisfied since its creation.” Wow! Clearly, that restaurant carries nice material.

  193. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    The great thing about Albert Camus
    was his love of that fish called Shamu—
    all through the Arctic night
    he’d write and write and write
    existentiel Valentines beaucoup.

  194. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#193): Dammit. No spellcheck on TextEdit.

  195. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#191): I think we have a keeper.

    Now about those swords. British Indian Army cavalry swords varied greatly over the course of the 19th century…

    // What is that bright light I see, that heavenly music? Is that a beloved dead relative beckoning?

  196. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#149):

    Are you saying that just by writing ‘Mary Nudie’ on this blog I am condemning the world to a Mary Worth porn? Because if that’s true I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself….!

    You won’t. Three days at the most before we track you down.
    //Assuming we don’t claw our eyes out first.

  197. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#193): The Rev. Scudder seems to be indisposed. I would never say, of a holy man I respect so much, that he is gibbering and drooling, but clearly he needs some rest.

    The thing is, Camus always denied being an Existentialist, like his sometime friend Sartre. He identified himself as an Absurdist.

    // Silly, what?

  198. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#189): 6.626068 claps.
    So, this photon goes into an h-bar…

  199. Majicou
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#198): I’m not to fermion the concept of these physics puns, but I thought I’d give it a spin. Am I being relatively successful?

  200. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon (#197): One more, then I’ll take your advice:

    Albert Camus
    loved Shamu—
    he’d fulfill whatever her wish,
    even write a clerihew—
    for that fish.

  201. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#199):

    Quite quirky, but your response does have strangeness and charm.

  202. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#199): Dirac and to the point, yes!

  203. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#200): Uncle Lumpy says a whale is a fish, so that’s good enough for me!

    // Pithy and piscine!

  204. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    FW: If he was lucky, he’d still be in the ’70s and ’80s.

    Ziggy: “Hey….. it’s company.”

    MW: Cake-making Mr. Whipple continues… “Yes, Mary, you will be my Mother Nature! ‘It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!’ suits you, my friend. Then, I’ll have the beginning of my plan to reassemble all the great TV commercial characters from the 1970s. The two of us will only be the start! Now, if I can only find Euell Gibbons…..”

    9CL: “He who can’t”, eh, Brooke? Well, if you ever look here (and it’s getting clear that you do), I suggest you click my username…… See? To whatever degree it applies, I can! Plus there’s plenty of talented people here, as you can see in the mash-ups and the poem/song parodies, etc.
    Point fails, Brooke.

  205. Calico
    January 19th, 2013 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#204):
    Ah, thanx for the laughs. 70′s ads are awesome in their tackiness.

  206. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#201):

    That should have read:
    Quite quirky quarky, but your response does have strangeness and charm.

    Damned autocorrect!

  207. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#206): No, I caught it — it’s ok — I thought you were being subtle.

    // Sorry.

  208. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon (#203): In poetry, perhaps, but I don’t think Uncle Lumpy concerns himself overmuch with DNA. (Nor should he.)

  209. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): Hi & Lois Thirsty must have gotten a new car between 1968 and 1972. The strip started in 1954, so he must have supported Adlai Stevenson, Richard Nixon, Goldwater, and Humphrey. (No McCain sticker?! No George Bush the 1st?) // It would be interesting to sit down with Thirsty with a Big-Box-o-Beer, and really talk politics. He’s gone liberal to conservative to liberal and back so many times, he really must have some perspective!

    Or perhaps Thirsty is an apolitical opportunist with no allegiance to a
    particular party or ideology.

    He probably gravitates to whichever candidate puts on a public rally with free food (and beer!) to attract potential voters like himself. But chances are, Thirsty isn’t even registered to vote. Or if he is, he’s too lazy to actually go to the polls.

    And the bumper stickers are there to hide the numerous dings on his car.

  210. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#195): Okay, somebody’s going to have explain the whole Raj/sword thing to me, and the “more x, mule!” I’m not up on my Curmudgeon memes.

  211. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#204):

    Now, if I can only find Euell Gibbons….

    He died of “natural” causes.
    //Nature can be a bitch.

  212. Majicou
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#202): Good, I wouldn’t want to string everyone along with puns that were way off from the standard model.

  213. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

  214. seismic-2
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#212): Nope, you went looking for a particle pun, and you really lepton that one!

  215. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#213): *snicker*
    Didn’t he eat tree bark or something odd like that?

  216. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#211): Are you acquainted with Scott Shaw’s “You-All Gibbon” character from the 1970s?

    http://www.lambiek.net/artists/image/s/shaw_scott/shaw_pigfoot1977.gif

  217. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#151):

    Mary has a grown son? Why do I get the feeling the he is like Sheridan in “Keeping Up Appearances”.

  218. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#217): or Norman Bates in Psycho

  219. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#210): Sorry, you’ll have to talk to Uncle Lumpy. He’s spoken to me quite sharply about explaining stuff to you.

    // And, of course, he was quite right. The fault was all mine. I was wrong. I see that now.

  220. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#216): No – but now I’ll have to know more.

  221. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#219): Bastards! I shall commit more light verse until somebody spills!!

  222. Majicou
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#217): “Oh, how psychic of you to ring mummy! Daddy and I were just talking about you. You need how much, dear?”

  223. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#210):

    … and the “more x, mule!” I’m not up on my Curmudgeon memes.

    Yes, something I just had to know, too. My life has been so much richer since I search and found:
    http://joshreads.com/?p=158

  224. With Cat As My CEO
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    JP: Sam Walton’s granddaughter only paid her roommate $20K a year to do her homework for her; leave it to Neddy to hire a top consulting firm. Bain et Compagnie SNC, 50 avenue Montaigne, 75008 Paris sounds about right for a Driver.

  225. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#223): Ah, thank you. Right, that’s one down. What about the Raj, then?

  226. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#209):
    ding ding ding ding ding!

    and you know he was drunk when he slapped the stickers on it.

    //at least that’s what she said.

  227. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#209):

    It wouldn’t surprise me if he applied them AFTER the election results came in!

  228. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#225): Raj?
    I dunno. I think it may have been Mary’s pet name for Albert Camus.
    “More salmon squares, Raj?”

  229. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    (Parenthetical note: That Punch cartoon I scanned has gotten 3200 views since I tweeted it. Scoff if you will, but that’s pretty good for somebody with like 30 people following him.)

  230. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Crap. Closed the parentheses but not… oh, well. If this is underlined and a different color, we’ll just have Uncle Lumpy come around with the Pine-Sol and a mop.

  231. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m the only one who can’t tell the elephants apart because of the repeating, blissed-out duck, right?

    //oh, slylock! you sly fox, you!

  232. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#229):

    Is he punching out morse code with his…? er…his…Master Code-in-ator?

    //his is a hands-free unit!

  233. Liam
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#218):

    If Mary’s son was like Norman Bates then that means that he’s dressed up like Mary and the real Mary Worth is a rotting corpse somewhere. That would explain this strip quite well.

  234. Peanut Gallery
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#225): You missed Monday’s epic discussion of sword types? (Triggered by this ill-fated innocent remark.) It wasn’t as big as the slide rule thing, but it was right up there.

    Thanks to today’s Love Is, in which the artist clearly intended a firefighter but the color monkeys apparently are huge fans of “Roger of the Raj,” I tried to goad Scudder into restarting the sword discussion, but unfortunately he’s hearkening to the better angels of his nature. For now. Heh, heh, heh…

  235. Uncle Lumpy
    January 19th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#219):

    He’s spoken to me quite sharply about explaining stuff to you.

    GOD DAMN IT!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#229):

    Ah-yuh, all tidy now.

  236. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#229): I have to admit I shared it on Facebook. I didn’t use a telegraph, though.

    //For all the many, many hats I own, none of them so far have a radio spike on the top.

  237. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#213):

    Well, many parts of a pine tree ARE edible, don’t cha know?

  238. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#234): Ah yes, I saw that, but wasn’t around for it in real-time. Too busy doing…something. I have no freaking idea what.

  239. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#235): Why you want me to be so ignorant?

  240. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#237):

    Cripes! My Minnesota accent is getting into my typing!

  241. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#239): You see, Grasshopper, your ignorance is like a delicate flower, it must be nurtured. Someday, in the fullness of time, you will understand, and thank us.

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#237): “Parts of the egg are excellent, my lord!”

  243. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#235): Thanks! That was above and beyond. I was only begging for a cleanup if I was somehow infecting everybody who commented after me, so, again, thanks.

  244. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

  245. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 19th, 2013 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#234): Oh, minced oath! I had no idea it was THAT bad. The version of “Love is…” that I saw on Darkgate is in b/w. Yes, there is an Errol Flynn Charge of the Light Brigade tinge to it, but he’s obviously a fireman.

    But, great Cthulhu!, the colorized version you link to changes everything. Khakis? Why is “The Man Who Would be King” bearing a tomahawk as a sidearm? Bizarre!

    That’s really a classic screw-up — it goes in the archives.

  246. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#236):
    none of them so far have a radio spike on the top.

    I didn’t notice those the first time. They might also double as Low-Hanging-Fruit-Pickers.

  247. tallyHO
    January 19th, 2013 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#244):
    It didn’t occur to me to go there. But, now that you mention it, it does make the cartoon funnier.

    The thought that they are sitting scant feet apart and receiving vibration notifications is shockingly moderne.

  248. Sgt. Stoned
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    MW: Actually, the opposite is true. It is easier to overwrite and edit than to underwrite and then try to think of everything you might have inadvertantly omitted. Also, sculpture is essentially subtracting pieces from a block of stone until the figure emerges.

  249. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail:

    Pistol, Stamen.
    Stamen, Pistol.

    That mentioned, who’s Mark’s co-lecturer?

  250. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    That last panel of MARY WORTH…that’s a laffer.

    It looks like a variation on the thing that happens in some older movies when a guy and a gal begin galavanting in a montage from one activity to the next, falling deeper and deeper in love with every passing event until they just end up looking tired and happy.

    Oh, John Dill, you old Picklemeister you, you are ever the romantic!
    Will this all end up with Mary on John’s giant sheet cake bed?

    //sorry if I broke the conversation earlier. not that what I’m adding will resuscitate it.

  251. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox:

    My guess Shady is being set up to lie. Slylock is good at forced confessions.

    What gets me is that juror number one, the Purple Dog, seems to be sniffing Shylock tail.

    // Rit’s a riving!

  252. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Slylock’s Magical Mystery Torn Paper Theater Presents:

    The Guest Drawing of the week looks about as good as I…oh hell, the whole damn thing is tiny. TINY!

    It is why I don’t know why Shady Shrew is guilty. I just know he’s guilty!

    The Guest Drawing looks like the Love Is.. couple as Goths.

    Slylock’s Fractured Mirror Mystery:
    Is that a cowboy playing a yellow large mouthed bass or is it a tiny tiger shark?

  253. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean:

    I looked over the past week’s strips. I don’t know who those people are.
    All I can tell is…

    knock knock

    -Who’s there?

    Death?

    –Death wh—Oh, you are looking for the Funky Winkerbean strip.

    You’re right. How can I can get to that?

    –I blocked out the directions.

    Shucks.

    –You ain’t missing much, dude.

  254. tallyHO
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Spider-Forum…

    (am i the only one who has had problems getting the embiggening version of Comics Kingdom strips to load? it’s been like this all week.)

    Spider-Man.
    OK.
    He’s in Vegas and has been in Vegas for months. Moonlighting as a janitor and spying on the buffest pimp this side of a 70s movie.

    All this time spent dealing with one enemy…just like he did with Clown-9…means that there are other Spider-Man arch enemies out there just getting away with stuff. That’s not to say that the one’s Spider-Man is dealing with directly are not getting away with stuff. At the very least each is just kicking his arachnid enhanced ass.

    Pick and choose your battles, Parker. Pick and choose.

  255. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#168): McE has his mail screened so he need never see anything he dislikes. But he just can’t resist coming over here to see what we say. He uses the parodies for plot ideas.

  256. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: First, if three wild chimps attacked the cops, the cops would shoot. They’d be insane not to. Second, how did Kraven and Showgirl Sherry negotiate his escape while he was being escorted, in handcuffs, by the police? She must have said something to make him change his mind about prison. And what is it that kept cops from shooting a fleeing, murderous fugitive?

    FW: Can that aphasia be contagious? Please?

    Family Circus: When did Jeffy develop the power of linear thought?

    FW: When you find that English-translation button, send Batiuk a memo, with a cc to McEclowney.

    Pluggers: It would be funny if the card categories were marked “Cheap Bastards,” “Slobs,” “Whiners” and “Idiotic Nostalgia.”

    Shoe: Perfesser, this weather is so bad that even the birds are walking. When the weather gets better, birds–you know, like you–will fly on their own. And the “joke” isn’t funny, because the FAA is obviously part of the DoT.

  257. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#255): McEch uses ideas? We really do live in an age of wonders.

  258. Alice
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:51 am [Reply]

    Bit late in the game here, but…

    Luann: Why has Evans, these past few days–and Saturday especially–made the title character even more vapid, immature and annoying than usual? Has his unconscious realized what a mess he’s made of the comic over the last…I dunno, eon…and is now secretly directing his conscious mind to sabotage it?

  259. Maughta
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    George Takei on Dick Tracy?? Oh Myyyyyy!

  260. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy-With special guest appearance George Takei.

    Archie-Reworked first two panels: “I’m going to earn some extra money shovelling blow,” Archie. “You shouldn’t have any trouble trying to find a blow job,” Archie’s dad.

    MW-That’s not talent. That is just a generic looking all pink cake.

  261. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Why’d they name the guy after a pacific atoll whose claim to frame was a vicious battle where nearly all the Japanese defenders were wiped out, and over 1000 US Marines were killed in action?

  262. Mardou Fox
    January 21st, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Wow, panel 2 of Mark Trail today explains a lot. The speech balloons of Mark and Bluegill appear to be coming out of the old State Mental Hospital.

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