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I would describe Herb’s TV-watching expression as “aggressively sullen”

Herb and Jamaal, 1/31/13

So, when does a comic make the jump from “funny little joke about life’s foibles” to “horribly depressing”? In the case of today’s Herb and Jamaal, that moment came when the artist decided to add such vivid emotion to Sarah’s face in panel one, as she briefly mistakes Herb’s clumsy reach for the lamp as an attempt to touch her affectionately. Is he going to hug me? Could this actually lead to sex? Haha, don’t be silly, Sarah, you’ve reached a “comfortable” point in your marriage, if you define “comfort” as “a cold, numbing absence of strong feelings of any kind.”

Dick Tracy, 1/31/13

I think traditionally Dick Tracy has used arrow-box-labels to identify the bits of gee-whiz technology the strip’s law-enforcement characters usually deploy. But since things like two-way wrist radios have now been superseded by boring, ordinary cell phones, I guess they’re just now going to be pointing out random objects. Architectural details in early 20th century mausoleums? Skeletons inside said mausoleums, which is exactly the sort of place you’d expect a skeleton to be? Sure, why not!

Spider-Man, 1/31/13

Say, what’s our good friend the Amazing Newspaper Spider-Man been up to since he was physically present when Kraven’s plot was foiled? Well, after finding out that one of his old nemeses was up to his old tricks in San Francisco, he decided to hitchhike from Las Vegas to San Francisco, because of poverty. (Isn’t MJ making decent money as a Broadway actress, enough to subsidize a bus trip or perhaps even coach-class plane travel? Maybe she quite wisely refuses to give him access to her bank account.) Then the guy who picked him up tried to rob him at gunpoint, and then he crushed the barrel of the gun with his bare hands, without the usual seven strips of agonizing about “oh, no, my secret identity,” presumably because whatever happens on I-15 several hours outside of Vegas stays on I-15 several hours outside of Vegas. Today’s strip made me laugh because of how devastated our ne’er-do-well is at the prospect of spending a few minutes looking for his keys in a roadside ditch. I’m thinking if you threaten someone with a gun and he turns out to have superhuman strength, this is probably one of the better possible outcomes?

Slylock Fox, 1/31/13

“So, what’re you doing, bro? I’m just gettin’ baked, makin’ calls on my fuzzy phone, and taking a bath in a tub full of pancake batter.”

363 responses to “I would describe Herb’s TV-watching expression as “aggressively sullen””

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff — I’m not sure what sort of grievance this “Zorro” fellow has with Heathcliff and Mrs. Nutmeg. But he must have been royally pissed at them as evidenced by the twin “Marks of Zorro” he left as his calling card.

    Not to mention the bowling balls he stuffed into their mouths:

    http://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff/2013/01/31

  2. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    “Now I’ll just take your car keys…your tiny, tiny car keys. Are you sure this isn’t a pimped-out riding lawnmower?”

  3. Mumblix Grumph
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    DT: Hey, chubby kid in the background. We appreciate the Babe Ruth cosplay, but you’re supposed to wait until you’re actually at bat before pointing to the stands.

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    The thick black hair growing out of Herb’s nostrils has always creeped me out.

  5. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    H&J What’s even sadder is that the TV doesn’t even seem to be on. So apparently they were just sitting in silence, staring at the wall until Herb decided he couldn’t ever look at his wife fully lit.

    ASM “Ha ha! That’ll teach you not to hold people up. Say, how long of a walk is it to San Francisco?….Really?!”

  6. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    SM: Take that, Mr. Driver-turned-petty-thief! You can’t drive your car, and I don’t have any means of transportation either. …. Yup. So here we are…. You shouldn’t give people rides just to rob them at gunpoint. Right, I said that already. … So, you’re not going to do it again, right? …. Oookayy… Yeah, you never know who has proportionate spider power and who … wait, did I just say that?? Great. Now I have to kill you…. after telling you not to steal. …Awkward.

  7. Downpuppy
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Odd that in the Marvel Universe, Death Valley looks like Long Island.

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: I don’t know too much about graveyard management, but one thing I do know is that if you have a dead body with an abnormally large arm bone, you should prop it up vertically very close to a mausoleum door. That way anyone who opens the door will knock it over and get spooked out. (This post started out sarcastic, then secretly turned into a good idea.)

  9. Droopy Says
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Of course The Amazing Muggerman is upset! Having the proportional intelligence of a human being, he realizes something that has eluded Spiderdick: they’re both stuck here. Together. Listening to Peter Parker whine about missing Oprah, and how he saw Kraven cheat his way to freedom, and how he’s not jealous of his beautiful, talented, wealthy widow-to-be, and how his boss is a jerk . . .

  10. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-You fool now we’ll both have to hitchhike.

    A3G-Take good care of her there is a good chance that I might love her.

    A3G 2-THE Margo Magee? The famous stock car drive, tugboat captain, well known art gallery owner, sought after publicist Margo Magee.

    A3G 3-I’m going back to Margo Magee’s burning apartment to pack an overnight bag for her when she is at the hospital.

    A3G 4-”There is a fire here. You can’t leave. You have to put it out.”

    Crankshaft-Can I crash the trains into each other?

    FW-For Better or For Worse did this sort of thing years ago and it wasn’t fun then.

    Dick Tracy-And the good thing is that the people in the cemetery are dead so you won’t have to hear them complain about you breaking their windows.

    MW-What a fabulous cake. An all pink cake with all pink frosting with all pink decorations.

  11. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    H&J: Comfortable enough in your marriage to completely ignore your wife’s presence, reaching clear through her personal space to turn off a light without an “excuse me” instead of politely asking her “Can you turn off that light, please?”

    Is that a point of pride or something?

  12. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#5): Herb decided he couldn’t ever look at his wife fully lit

    On the contrary, Herb only ever looks at his wife when he is fully lit.

  13. Amos Snarkadder
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    FW – “Eee cooden sen emall.”
    Oh, hell! Now Batiuk is quoting Camus, too.

  14. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    DT: Is that real marble on the mausoleum? Are those cracks, or just veins of dark marble? What kind of woodwork is around the windows? Why aren’t there any signs to point these things out?

    And why would there be windows on a crypt, anyway?

  15. sully
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    What kind of a living could robbing hitch-hikers provide? If they had any money, or credit cards, they probably wouldn’t be humbling themselves on the side of the road, begging for the mercy of a lift from those better-off. This whole plot line would have been far more entertaining if the driver had adopted the old rule of thumbing: “Gas, Grass, or Ass.”

  16. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G Like Aristotle, the EMTs seem to be a little blase about this whole ‘fire’ thing. “Where are you going? Stay and watch, those firemen have some cool new hoses.”

    FW “That’s a good sign: lame, snarky jokes are the first sign of recovery for aging assholes.”

    MT So I guess the assumption here is that ol’ Rod has something in his van and/or boat that will help him win the tournament illegal, but have we considered other possibilities? Like maybe he’s an aficionado of really weird, very embarrassing pornography that we takes in vast quantities wherever he goes? Just puttin’ it out there people.

    MW Hey, wasn’t that cake on of the accessories that came with Malibu Wedding Day Barbie?

  17. Amos Snarkadder
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Luann – Wonderful irony – today’s newsprint was off track, so the lipstick was on Brad’s chin and Toni’s cheek.

  18. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “Yeah, but we caught the lion so we stuck her in the cage, duh.”
    Curtis: Isn’t it a recurring theme that this family lives from paycheck to paycheck? Do you think the homeless shelter will let Greg bring the chair along?
    Luann: Lookin’ good, Brad.

  19. Ranger
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Now is the time for something I like to call “shitting bricks”.

    MW: I’m enamored with John Dill’s clothing choice for this contest. I mean, it is the same shirt he’s been wearing, but now he’s added the bow tie. Genius! Also, I’m not seeing the nature theme on the uniformly pink cake.

    MT: This just keeps getting better. Wants to get in his van, is going with him on the boat. I guess Mark’s last boat experience hasn’t taught him anything.

    JP: Sam’s face in panel 2, PRICELESS. Must be nice to be able to drop everything and go on a cruise.

    3G: Panel 2 sounds a lot like an old style porn line. Even the EMT’s face looks the part.

    Cranky: He’s going to back that train into Keesterman’s mailbox.

  20. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    MT: The biodiversity in in the southern part of the state is amazing.

  21. Little Guy
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    ASM: Did I miss the obligatory self-realization SpideyGuilt that Peter always has whenever he considers using his superpowers?

  22. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    We get to see Marvin react with half-lidded-eyes-of-horror* after another character delivers the “punchline” (such as it is) in today’s strip.

    *This is the Marvin Miller version of Shoe’s google-eyes-of-horror.

  23. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Baldo: Yeah, cars are so passe. These days everyone is into jet packs and transportation booths, right? If anyone made a movie about street racing, for example, it would utterly fail. There’s no way that it would spawn 4 sequels.

  24. Jon the Red
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    I was going to wonder how that mausoleum got there, but then I was trying to figure out just why anyone would care that there’s bones in a place like that. I couldn’t even get all the way through that thought before I realized those bones were right by the front door. What, is the place stuffed full like a kid’s closet? Do bones spill out like Spongebob’s trophies when you open that door?

  25. Mibbitmaker
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    All Dick Tracy Edition

    DT: Well, there goes their childhoods!

    DT: (conversely) The boys: “COOOOL!”

    DT: This is how Geoff Peterson was discovered.

    DT: “Hey, you kids, get off my Forest Lawn!!!”

  26. Dood
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: I don’t get it. Shouldn’t people have been able to see the skeleton through the lead glass window (notable for it’s greater clarity) before?

    Judge Parker: The look on Sam’s face when confronted with the possibility of close-quarters, huband-wife time? Priceless. And Abbey just meow’d up a level.

  27. CanuckDownSouth
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    DT – the new art team still hasn’t figured out that as long as they stay away from the previous anti-Euclidean* shapes, they don’t have to label objects like ‘elbow’, ‘gun’, or ‘sky’?

    *non-Euclidean isn’t a strong enough word for the previous team’s results

  28. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    FW: Ooh, I LOVE it when we get a week or two of “person makes an unintelligible remark which is then translated”! That’s hysterical, no matter what they say! Email! Ha ha! Awesome!

  29. KreatureFeatures
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    FW: It appears that our stroke victim has become like the baby Mimi in Rose is Rose,
    speaking in phonetics which are translated in the last panel to hilarious effect.

  30. Col. Havoc
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    I was going to mentionthat Spidey effectively stranded them both, but then realized that 25% of the previous comments already said that.

    Uh…Boy! That Spiderman sure is DUMB, isn’t he!

    …whew.

    COTW

  31. KreatureFeatures
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Darn you Hogenmogen. Let me try again.

    FW: “God’s way of telling you to slow down”? Fred was barely moving in the first place.

  32. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10):

    THE Margo Magee? The famous stock car drive, tugboat captain, well known art gallery owner, sought after publicist Margo Magee.

    “I thought she was just a legend, a myth, a spook story that New Yorkers tell their kids at night. Rat on your pop, and Margo Magee will get you.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#12):

    On the contrary, Herb only ever looks at his wife when he is fully lit.

    And that’s just ‘cuz her eyes remind him of donut holes

  33. Anonymous
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    DT (panel 4): Half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich——>

  34. Mibbitmaker
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    A&J: Books vs. TV, amirite?
    (loud, exasperated scream)

    Archie: Well, the reruns are getting more recent…

    9CL: Really, their act should get a room!

    FW: Not a bad joke, but ruined by bone-crunching tragedy.

    MW: They’re awfully twitchy for cake-makers.

    MT: Rod’s overreactions are truly hilarious! Funniest strip today.

    JP: Did they just turn into the Lockhorns all of a sudden?

    Curtis: Lady, what the hell is WRONG with you?!
    Oh, look… the parents are showing everyone how it would be if Curtis and Michelle get married (Greg’s Curtis-ness seen earlier in the storyline).

  35. Little Blue Bicycle
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#33): Forgot to fill in his name——> Little Blue Bicycle

  36. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    New OOTS today!

  37. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Jon the Red (#24): I prefer to think it was a premature burial. Poor sod was trying to claw his way out.

  38. Chareth Cutestory
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#14): Lead windows, nonetheless. So, of course, the mausoleum designers wished to monitor their radioactive mummy’s decaying process.

  39. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#25): ““Hey, you kids, get off my Forest Lawn!!!”” – COTW!

  40. AhClem
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10):

    FW-For Better or For Worse did this sort of thing years ago and it wasn’t fun then.

    But at least FBoFW had pot roast.

  41. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    TASM How interesting that there is a stream of blue flowing water right next to the road, out there in the desert, surrounded by verdant foliage.

  42. Lair of Rockwhales
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    What’s even sadder about today’s Herb and Jamaal is that it’s a rerun. How many is that now?

  43. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT: I want to take pictures of the inside of your van.

    Bassy: Why?

    MT: Your stickshift.

    Bassy: Did you say you were from “Woods & Wildlife” or “Woodys and the Wild Life” magazine?

  44. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#38): Even better, since there were windows, the skeletons were clearly visible from the outside all along.

  45. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    DT: Don’t they use coffins, even in a mausoleum?

  46. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#22): Correction: I was talking about Wednesday’s Marvin. (Damn you, Dark Gate Comic Slurper, for updating strips so slowly!)

    @Hogenmogen (#23): And never mind that “Gasoline Alley” — a strip that has always been about guys and their cars — has been running for over 90 years.

    Although the cars are featured to a lesser extent nowadays, it’s still called “Gasoline Alley” — not “Jet Packs and Transportation Booths”!

  47. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Where are you going?”
    “I have to handle her PR.”
    “She’s passed out drunk. And you’re telling me you haven’t ‘handled her PR’ all night?”

  48. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Missing fourth panel in Curtis: Diane gets all huffy because Greg hired the Air Force Thunderbirds instead of The Blue Angels to skywrite “I’m Sorry, Diane, You were right, you’re always right. I don’t know why I defied you.”

  49. Anonymous
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    FW – Boxcar!

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Frazz: *chuckle* well gagged.

    9CL: Burber kisses can give a good Catholic boy a Jewfro.

    Lio: oh wow. that’s getting into the creepy zone.

    SBp: *snurk* simple gag, well envisioned. Greenpeace will be in touch. with torches.

    Bizarro Is . . . about S&M. (and that dynamite looks like a vibrator.)

    Blondie Is . . . .The Outlaw Josey Wales.

    JUMBLE: “Leman Russ” fits, but the drawing needs a turret. (srsly, well done.)

    PMP: The Lockhorns, the Early Years.

    6Cx: it’s only 3 more days. Deal with it.

  51. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .SECRET TUNNELS!!!!

    (with apologies to the The Last Airbender folks who know what I’m referring.)

  52. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    *referencing*

    le sigh.

  53. Hibbleton
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#45): DT: Don’t they use coffins, even in a mausoleum?
    Yes

  54. Guts Dozier
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    So, it looks like it’s finally happened. Sick of being constantly overshadowed and emasculated by police, his wife, and much more competent heroes, Spider-Man becomes a serial killer.

  55. Pozzo
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    I initially interpreted “Whoa! It’s going in the graveyard” to mean “Wow, look at the party in the cemetery! Let’s join it!” But I suppose that would be more of a “Funky Winkerbean” thing.

  56. Horace Broon
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    A3G: Sadly Margo is unconscious, and unable to protest as that fool Greg leaves her in the hands of paramedics, who (all together now) play by their own rules, not ours!

    FW: In Westview, as long as the part of your brain that makes mildly sarcastic quips is functioning, nothing else matters.

    Phantom: “Yes, it was to capture the lion in order to prove it wasn’t a phantom. And that’s what we’ve done. Any other questions?”

  57. jack
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox- That washcloth is EXACTLY the same, That bastard!

  58. wossname
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Hey, where are you going? I’m your long-lost twin! If I take off my glasses you’ll see our faces are identical!”

    Crank – Oh ha ha. The train is going to jump the tracks and run over Keesterman’s mailbox, isn’t it.

    JP – Seriously, in what order is Abbey saying these things? Does “just kidding” come before or after “I want to go on a cruise”?

    Anybody understand what’s going on with Cow and Boy? I thought it was becoming pay-per-view as of Jan. 1, and I coughed up my $12 for the year. But I’m still getting it in my Darkgate feed and I don’t see how that would know that I’ve paid. Are we in a transitional phase to encourage people to subscribe?

  59. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20): LOVE. My life needs more Rocky & Bullwinkle in it.

  60. word-doctor
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Hi/Lois: Ditto, it’s one thing to use your Lincoln Logs 90 degrees off “normal,” but to staff a second story bunker with Central Intelligence Agency personnel? Either you need training or you need to quit huffing Trixie’s diapers.

    SM: “Oh… I guess both of us are now in the middle of nowhere… I’ll help you find your keys.”

  61. Remmy
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    CURTIS: Billingsley has completely lost it. Bitch gets rid of the guy’s favorite chair, buys and expensive new one when the kids need bunk beds, and has Greg groveling for forgiveness and buying expensive stuff despite their small paycheck. Fuck you fuck you fuck you Diane.

  62. Greg
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    H&J: Meanwhile, in panel three, Shoe and the other bird depressives, look on with approval. “Way to go, Brother Beakless!” they squawk.

  63. Oregonian
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: The little lebowski takes a bath.

  64. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Boy, that sure is one smug mug on a guy who’s hitchhiking to San Francisco because his wife won’t buy him a plane ticket because he nearly got trampled by an elephant, and who has insurance for that kind of thing?

    Apt. 3-G:—>MARGO MAGEE
    —>EMT
    —>MUSTARD AND OATMEAL FUMES

    Dick Tracy—>BOX (Get it?)

    Mark Trail: Rod Bassy sure is acting suspicious for a man who has nothing to hide other than 20 pre-caught bass and the odd leather slave or two.

    Mary Worth: The vibrating in today’s strip is unwholesome.

    Mutts: Pro Tip: on Saturday, you’re going to hear a lot about Punxsutawney Phil. Pay this second-rate impostor no mind. The real groundhog is Octoraro Orphie, from down in Lancaster County.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: I hate to be a pedant[*], but Delores seems to have a rather expansive definition of “house” here. Not that Rex minds. He’s already figured out how to bill for this.

    Zippy the Pinhead has an honest-to-gosh pun in it. You don’t see that too often in this strip.

  65. TheDiva
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Jumping in between taking care of sick Divalings, snarpologies…

    DT: Because a crypt with a view is absolutely essential.

    SM: So now they both have to hitchhike with muggers on their way to California!

  66. Froggy
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I want to tell all you people
    Just one thing
    You know there’s plenty of men around
    But just one king

    You can go through life
    Acting mean and sassy
    But you better play it cool
    When you come around Bassy

    And that goes for all you women, normal or odd
    You best watch your step when you’re messin’ with Rod
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
    My name is Bassy, King of Men

  67. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#58): The Darkgate strips are classics, running from the beginning of the series. For the new ones you have to go directly to the Cow and Boy website. Bonus entertainment: read the sidebar advertisements.

  68. Ukulele Ike
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#18): Curtis: Crushing credit card debt. But so worth it. (Seriously, though….couldn’t he have just fixed the dinner that night?)

    MT: Rod has an ice cooler filled with enormous bass in the back of that van.

    Baldo: I don’t like cars, either, but I live in New York City. Isn’t Baldo set in Los Angeles? I hear the motor culture is slightly different there.

  69. TheDiva
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    9CL: I’m starting to think Amos plays the cello to hide his raging stiffy.

    C’shaft: “I can damage something? Why was I not informed of this earlier?!”

    FW: “He’s making bitter, unfunny quips about his misery! Around here, that’s the best possible sign of recovery!”

    Luann: Quite a catch, isn’t he?

    MT: “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me that I can react to in a suspicious way?”

    MW: More pink! MORE, I say! Throw the box on there–that has some pink in it!

    Pibgorn: He’s going to make every single female character wear that Barbara Eden outfit, isn’t he? Also, Brooke’s witty riposte to his critics today amounts to “you smell.”

  70. Ian Beste
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#19): Cranky: He’s going to back that train into Keesterman’s mailbox *boom chicka wow wow* … ewww

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

  72. Austria
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    DT: Either that, or the strip is being drawn by a very, very talented 7-year-old.

    FW: His expression in the second panel says it all. The misery is almost tangible.

    Jump: “Nein” and “non” are good starts.

    Luann: It’s like those “My boyfriend did my makeup” pictures, except gross and unfunny.

    PBS: IT’S THE WHAAAAAAALE!! I can’t even remember his name, but I like him.

  73. Illustrator Steve
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MT – This whole secretive van thing sounds FISHY to me!

  74. Dennis Jimenez
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    SFx – Hey, they didn’t mention that in panel one, the dog is a Jesuit Priest, but in panel two, he’s a Cub Scout Troop Leader….

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Dickless Tracy

    The “mausoleum” in today’s strip is actually Stephen Baux’s Muscle-leum and Fitness Center. Besides the obvious advantage of being located in Naperville’s low-rent district, the view is excellent and the neighbors keep completely to themselves.

    Also, the so-called “skeleton” is legendary funnyman (and current client of Sweatbox) Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton.

  76. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    In case anyone missed my yesterthread posts, I repeat this since I’ve seen no one touch upon this topic yet. After reading it, you may see why: Way to go Team Dill-Worth. A pink on pink wedding cake worthy of some BBW sitting on in a fetish video.

  77. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    DT: Skeleton: I’m keeping this ball. It’s mine now.

    SFx: Is this a six differences puzzle, or People’s Exhibit A in the Sandusky trial?

    MT: I can just imagine the caption that would run with those pictures. “The inside of Rod Bassy’s van. In case you’ve never seen the inside of a van before.”

    Ziggy: Come to Phil’s Aquarium, where we sell fish so weak and helpless, even Ziggy can dominate them.

    Archie: When Veronica says “First it overheats,” she’s not talking about the car.

    Baldo: So Baldo’s car magazines are his porn? Don’t try to open them, Estella, and if you do don’t be surprised if the pages stick.

    GA: Go ‘head and keep the rest of that cat story to yourself, Rufus.

    H&L: Ditto’s line used to be “If you knock down my castle, I’ll kick your ass.” It didn’t work out well for him.

    GT: Indeed, background person, MILFs do rock. I’m not sure Ms Ducey will be impressed by your sign, though.

    FC: It must be said that Jeff Keane exhibits no pride or ego when presenting us with his fictional avatar. That being said, put some pants on the boy for the love of all that is holy.

    Luann: Tomorrow TJ drops in on Brad and Toni, thinks that he’s having his favorite dream.

    M-Dawg: Huh say what? Marmaduke is going around eating vegetables? Does he have a bet running with Asmodeus?

    A3G: Either Margo staggered back to 3-G to retrieve her cigar box of gold krugerrands, or Shulock is covering for one of Bolle’s more major continuity errors.

  78. Illustrator Steve
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT – “Yes, Rod, and I’ve also arranged with the tournament officials to have your van searched while we are out in the boat.”
    “WHAT?!!”
    “That’s right, Rod, oh, one more thing…the tournament officials have asked me to pilot the boat for you.”
    “WHAT??!!!”
    “Now, listen up, Rod. Once we’re under way I want you to stand against the gunwale as I steer the boat and I’ll show you the fishing manuver a fellow in the Caribbean showed me that will knock your socks off!”

  79. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#69):

    9CL: I’m starting to think Amos plays the cello to hide his raging stiffy.

    When I was in middle school/high school I would just grab a composition notebook. Someone thinks highly of himself.

  80. Chip
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    SM: Now watch as Pete gets out, stands there, and levels his thumb for his next ride.

    Pluggers: I would have thought Plugger Mandatory Retirement would be shown on the Obituary page…

  81. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20): and now here’s something you’ll really like!
    (Heh…I like it!)

    Meanwhile, on the beach (no, nothing as exciting as Neville Shute)…

  82. Little Guy
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#23): Not to mention a 21st-Century reboot with IAN FUCKING MCSHANE. No wonder there were two straight-to-Netflix sequels.

    DT: I’m just surprised that the helpful illustrator didn’t expand on indicating the “Ball”, “Bat”, and “Negro Child”.

  83. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#25): DT/Taken/Late Late Show: “Quickly! There’s no time!”

  84. wossname
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#67): Ah, thanks. I was thinking these were new strips thanking the people who contributed huge amounts to his Kickstarter thing.

  85. Droopy Says
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Skeleton, hell, that’s Abner Cadaver. The Moon Maid story will wait another couple of months.

    Mock Travail: When was the last time that any boating trip went well for Trail? What if he gets shipwrecked again and faces starvation? Survival tip, Trail: bring Rusty with you. You can cut him up for bait and still say you took him fishing.

  86. Dan
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    NOO! THOSE WERE SUGAR-BASED KEYS!

  87. BillJ
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: It’s always important to clearly label your skeletons.

  88. Shrug, Jawing On About Stuff
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y151):

    Q. What do you get when you chaw on a mixture of celery and tobaccy?

    A. Celibacy.

  89. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#29): it could only be better if Mimi shows up as a Junior Candy Striper.

    And speaking of hellish children… (Yes, I was, as a matter of fact. Of course it was yesterday…)

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#26): If the glass hasn’t been cleaned for awhile I can see the skeleton being obscured.

  91. Shrug, Marking the TRAIL
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Previous MARK TRAIL story arcs have had such informal names here as “MySonJohn” and “The Blind Dog Who is Blind” and “The Great Golden Goose Band Adventure.” I don’t recall anyone suggesting a name for the current arc, but:

    Since it involves a fishing contest, and since we’re sure Mark will eventually throw a punch, I propose “Hookers and Blow.”

  92. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    DT-The lead glass window is designed to keep people into the crypt sadly it wasn’t designed to keep people out of the crypt.

    DT 2-Oh no! You broke Old Man’s Baux’s window.

    FW-Is he saying “I am not an animal”?

    MT-That’s Rod’s sex van. You can’t get shots of that. Fishing contest champions get all kinds of groupies.

  93. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    I admire all the various speculations on Rod’s van, but the one that comes to me is that the van is absolutely packed with hungry grizzly bears. Nothin’ fishes like a hungry grizzly!

  94. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    DT-If that is the Baux family crypt then who are these Joe Stanton and Mike Curtis whose names are on the front.

  95. Minneapolis 'Mudge Shrug
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#y221):

    “From some of your earlier comments, I’m guessing that you live in the Twin Cities. Are you entering the contest in St. Paul this weekend?”

    St. Paul? I’ve heard of that place, but as I recall it’s off the eastern edge of the world, which sounds dangerous. . . .

    I presume the contest you ask about is the Winter Carnival Medallion hunt (is it that time of year again already?), but no, I’ve never been tempted. Given the St. Paul street system, even if I thought I knew where the Medallion had been hidden I probably could not figure out how to get there.

    /// O.K., I kid. . . a little . . .

  96. Mikey
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Col. Havoc (#30): LMFAO ! That’s just plain awesome!

  97. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    DT-Is there a chance that the skeleton’s first name is Jack?

    MW-I think Mary is getting a sexual thrill from squeezing that frosting bag.

    MW 2-As the contest is under way the audience is bored to tears. Many wished they went to wall painting competition. Nothing as exciting as watching paint dry.

  98. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    So, when does a comic make the jump from “funny little joke about life’s foibles” to “horribly depressing”?

    I don’t know, but I do know what you call the units used to measure the movement from the former to the latter: Gigabatiuks.

  99. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I think the Count makes a better hero than Rex, don’t you?

  100. Mikey
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT: On Bassy’s van: “Gas, Grass, or Bass. No one rides for free!”

  101. Let Shrug Tell You Something...!
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#y234):

    “Wait, wait – are there still a few soaps on TV? Days and GH?”

    And WWE RAW, WWE SMACKDOWN, TNA IMPACT, and RING OF HONOR WRESTLING. You have to put up with watching (or fast-forwarding through) some wrestling matches now and then if you want to follow the soap opera plots, though.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#99): Well, I’ll be darned. Part of Rex’s leg was amputated and left on the beach!

    // I shall be a lot nicer to the folks at Mark Trail — cutting and pasting stuff is not as easy as it looks!

  103. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Remember when For Better or For Worse halfway undermined Lisa’s death by almost killing off Grampa the day before Lisa was scheduled to kick off? THE LONG-FORETOLD REVENGE OF BATIUK HAS COME TO PASS. BE ALL YE WARNED: THOSE WHO HATH WITNESSED THE SMIRKINGS SHALL BEG MIGHTILY FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH.

  104. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Now I’ll give you a bath too,” Peter remarks grabbing the drive by the throat and throwing him out the window and into the water.

  105. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”We have to hitchhike now and it is rather dangerous to hitchhike. You have no idea what sort of person will pick you up.”

  106. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#71): Re: Meanwhile, in Wisconsin: Yeah, pretty much, though by the looks of it, that shot’s from the 80′s.

  107. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#92):

    Fishing contest champions get all kinds of groupies groupers.

    FTFY

  108. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#81): Oh my! We’re doing dueling beach scenes! (You won.)

    // You use Photoshop, right? I’ve been playing around with GIMP — hate having to deal with Windows. But it’s quite a learning cliff.

  109. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#106): Wisconsin, the Land that Time Forgot.

  110. Tom T.
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: The robber is fearful that by throwing away the car keys, super-strong Peter Parker is getting ready to go all Deliverance on him.

  111. Bi-Polar Shrug
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#y352):

    “Hilarious. The guy who can build a holodeck doesn’t know that penguins and polar bears live at opposite poles.”

    Well, Gary Larson did a classic cartoon about penguin/polarbear interaction

    http://tinyurl.com/ao2jj3u

    so there’s a precedent — except that (a) Larson surely knew better but was willing to go with things for the sake of the visual joke, and (b) Larson didn’t have a holodeck. (As far as I know.)

    ///Maybe Larson’s cartoon needs a head of Count Weirdly popping out of the ether to be *truly* forgivable?

  112. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#32): Margo is Keyser Söze? Ok, makes sense to me.

  113. cheech wizard
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    DT – Is not skeleton. Is zeeba. Taste gud.

  114. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#58): Anybody understand what’s going on with Cow and Boy? I thought it was becoming pay-per-view as of Jan. 1, and I coughed up my $12 for the year. But I’m still getting it in my Darkgate feed and I don’t see how that would know that I’ve paid. Are we in a transitional phase to encourage people to subscribe?

    I dunno. He’s gone webcomic, maybe the $12 is like a requested but not required donation. But you notice, he’s featuring big contributors in the comics. (Todays lucky donor gets squished by Deathbot. How cool is that?)

  115. Marc
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    9CL- I knew Brooke couldn’t go a whole week without inserting sex.

    A3G- Where are you going, ARSONIST?!?!

    Curtis- So Greg can buy his bitch of a wife a thousand of dollars worth of superficial, “I’m sorry” shit, but he won’t spring to get Curtis and his brother separate beds?

    Mark Trail- Rod Bassey doesn’t want Mark to come along because he kidnapped Rusty and is planning on using him as bait. Little does Rod know that Mark does not care for that little troll.

    Mary Worth- Because pink is the most commonly occuring color in nature?

    Funky- Slow down? The guy barely did anything in the first place. I mean this guy made Hi Flaggston look active.

    Luann- Beyond disturbing. Get help Greg Evans. You are one severly fucked up individual.

  116. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#67): Um, no… Darkgate is running the same strip as Cow & Boy website is.

  117. odinthor
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Josh.

    because whatever happens on I-15 several hours outside of Vegas stays on I-15 several hours outside of Vegas.

    I would like to translate this gibberish so that Southern Californians can understand it: “because whatever happens on the I-15 several hours outside of Vegas stays on the I-15 several hours outside of Vegas.”

  118. Voshkod
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    I know everyone expected Luann to sweep this award, but congratuations to today’s Spider-man for winning the award for Most Blatant Introduction to a Porn Movie for January 31st!

  119. Gal Friday
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    MW John Dill lovingly polishes the cake before applying icing–it’s the simple details that mark him as a cake decorating master!

  120. sighing maiden, still sighing
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#84): Hahaha! I restrained myself from making that same comment!

  121. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#112):

    Well, that’s what the badly burned hungarian man in apartment 3-C kept yelling.

    MAR-go MA-gee! MAR-go MA-gee! Se az ördög. Soha nem láttam senkit, mint Margo Magee minden a nyomorult életét, te idióta. MARGO MAGEE!

  122. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#97): “squeezing that frosting bag” – is that what you kids are calling it these days?

  123. Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Nitpick all you want, but I, for one, am almost giddy at seeing Spiderman actually use a superpower that doesn’t involve whining.

  124. Marc
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#117): We do that in Western New York as well. Only we don’t even use the “I”, “route”, or whatever the title of the highway is. It’s just the 90, the 33, the 290, the 190, the 219, the 400, and so on and so forth.

  125. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#116): Sorry, for the miscommunication. I get Cow and Boy on three sites; I read Daily Ink then GoComics (reruns) and often don’t look much at Darkgate anymore.

  126. teenchy
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#82): But for the updated eyes, I would swear that “Negro Child” was Dondi.

  127. Government Cheese
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Luann: So I guess Evans has been watching Eddie Izzard standup routines lately? It’s the only explanation I have for the drag.

    MW: I guess it’s challenging making cakes on vibrating platforms.

  128. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Ever wonder what you miss by not following threads to the better end?

    @Da Coconino Kid (Y343): Baka Gaijin understands! I liked it poured only around the edges. And if I had Red River cereal, I made elaborate channels that it had to be poured through. Keep taking your birth control, people.

    @Peanut Gallery (Y347): The perfect solution. Of course you know he’ll decide we’re all guilty and we’ll end up handcuffed to a mouse.

    @Hogenmogen (Y352): I read it more as he thinks he has set up a fiendishly difficult puzzle for Shylock to solve. Or maybe it’s a live polar bear and he wanted to trick Skylock into thinking it was part of the simulation by making the simulation obvious.

  129. terrapin
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Where are you going? You don’t think you’re getting out of here without a hug do you?”

    Luann: Yeah, this comic is just snarking itself now.

  130. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: Rod Bassy: Most hyper-sensitive bad guy ever. “Nice waders, Rod!” “Are you saying they make my ass look fat?

  131. terrapin
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MT: If Mark were smart, he’d challenge Rod Bassy to a high stakes poker game tonight. My springer spaniel has more self control than this guy.

  132. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Bi-Polar Shrug (#111): I was just thinking about that Far Side comic last night before I even re-read the comment here about Slylock from 08.

    I have a Far Side book where Larson acknowledges that polar bears and penguins inhabit different hemispheres, but he thought it was funny enough to overcome that annoying fact. I rationalized it as the penguins don’t recognize the bear as a predator, since they have no experience with this beast.

  133. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#126): The “Negro Child” in Thursday’s DT looks more like a young Barack Obama to me.

  134. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130): assless waders rather defeat the purpose.

  135. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#82): I was trying to reference the Fast & Furious franchise without saying “Fast” or “Furious”. All 5 of those were released in the 21st century. I was also trying to figure out a way to snark on that “19th Century” comment, and came up empty.

  136. Amos Snarkadder
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @ #130 bb,u
    BWAHAHAHA

  137. Steve
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    MW: I like Mary and John’s chances. Team 1 created a rectangular cake with white frosting and blue letters spelling out “HAPPY BAT MITZVAH RACHEL”. Team 2 baked a pepperoni pizza. Team 3 neglected to practice carrying their cake to the judges’ table, and they are about to walk off a cliff.

  138. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#135): I couldn’t figure out the “19th century” thing. I mean, to me, automobiles and the 20th century pretty much go hand in hand.

  139. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#40):
    I think it was prime rib take-out.
    Boxcar, part deux!

  140. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Let Shrug Tell You Something…! (#101): I’m pretty sure Downton Abbey is a soap opera (even if it is an import).

  141. IsItReal
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: At least we didn’t have to see his little wiener poking out of his pants.

  142. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#108): “’ve been playing around with Gimp” – yeah, I’ve heard that about you.

  143. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Guy With Gun: You busted my gun! You’re a superhero or something?

    Parker: I was hoping you’d notice!

    Guy: So you have a dark personna and frequent angst?

    Parker: Maybe a little.

    Guy: Angst about what?

    Parker: My wife makes more money than me.

    Guy: That’s it? No one in your family was killed by criminals?

    Parker: Yeah, I got that, but I mostly gripe about the money thing. And she gets hit on a lot, I’m pissy like that, too.

    Guy: Wow, you’re lame. I was going to ask if I could be your sidekick, but now… eh, get out of my car. Just go.

  144. PB
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Soooooo….either that tub has a leak or that dog has an extra paw we don’t know about!

  145. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Let Shrug Tell You Something…! (#101):
    I’m not into WWF, but I was thinking about the grand old format featuring folks like La Lucci, Chris Reeve, Douglas Watson, Justin Deas, etc.
    I love the Sopranos and Mad Men (RIP Lane!), but don’t watch Dexter or Downtown Abbey, although I’d like to see Boardwalk Empire…I don’t think we ordered HBO.

  146. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Oh, my gf said Breaking Bad was quite good – I have not seen that either

  147. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    FW: “Eee cooden jus kel meh”

    “He could’ve just killed you? Hilarious!” ~smirk

    “That’s a good sign!” ~smirk

    Is it a smirk if the left half of your face droops so it looks like the right half is going up?

  148. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Brad looks like he’s been eating Nature Cake.

  149. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-After being beaten by Clown-9 and Kraven Peter took one look at this guy and decided that he could take him.

    MT-But Mark are you sure you’re ready to go out in boat after nearly being dunked into shark infested water on your recent trip.

  150. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”Hero? I’m no hero. I just did anyone with proper medical training would do.”

  151. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#34) said: “MW: They’re awfully twitchy for cake-makers.”

    The Bad News: The nervous trembling exhibited by John and Mary will cause them to mess up their cake and lose the contest.

    The Good News: John and Mary will win a contract to bake for Shakey’s Pizza.

  152. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138): I thnk maybe Estella is not going to join MENSA any time soon.

    Maybe the strip stepped over its own joke? Baldo lying about the ownership of the magazines, Estella’s non-acknowledgement of the automobile as a current necessity in an increasingly suburban America, the screw-up between centuries? I like when a strip can put together multiple punch lines in a few frames to create semi-chaotic hilarity rather than drag each one out so you get a week of slowly paced mediocrity. But the crazy feeling from sequential punchlines is easily spoiled if the reader doesn’t quite follow what is going on.

    Is Baldo about to get the picture that the girl of his dreams is not all that bright? Would that really matter to Baldo, who isn’t likely to get a full academic scholarship to Harvard himself? If the girl is hot enough, that wouldn’t matter to a teen age boy even if he won a MacArthur award.

  153. 4015 red delicious
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    DT- While the author of this strip correctly identifies the lead glass, unfortunately for the hapless youngsters, he neglects to identify the deadly lead-based paint chips scattered about the steps of the mauseleum… those sweet, crunchy, lead-based paint chips… a dangerous game for the youthful Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama. If he eats those chips, he’ll never be president!

  154. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Steve (#137): Team 4 were under the impression that it was a cake EATING contest, and are waiting to devour the losers. Team 5 is a pair of terrorists preparing yellowcake.

  155. AhClem
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Minneapolis ‘Mudge Shrug (#95): It’s the Second Annual Crossword Puzzle Competition being held at the Hill Reference Library on Saturday. I can’t go this year, but I did it last year and had a lot of fun.

    I’ve lived in St. Paul for 28 years. I still have trouble with the Minneapolis street system (Which ones are Avenues and which are Streets?).

  156. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @4015 red delicious (#153):
    Eat more Kale (chips) kids!

  157. Red Greenback
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    “Wild Cherry” parody—->

    Frost that nature-themed cake white folks
    Frost that nature-themed cake right
    Frost that nature-themed cake white folks
    Lay down that frosting then schlep that ugly pink thing till you die

  158. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#108): I do use PhotoShop. mr. bats :[ tells me about GIMP, not like he ever mashes stuff, though. :) I’ve done this for so long, it’s pretty simple for me, but I’m using only a teensy bit of PhotoShop’s Epic Power.
    (Yeah, so sue me…)

  159. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#158): *imagines bats :[ as She-Ra*

  160. True Fable
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, when I die I sure as hell want to be taken to a mausoleum with windows so they can just prop me up by the door and my kids can wave at me when they visit. “Hey there, Dad!” they’ll say through the glass. Of course I will be waving back because I expect them to rig up a little motor and servo to make my arm move back and forth. It’ll be like the Hall of Presidents Goes To Halloween Town.

  161. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#128): I understand. It’s not personal experience. The closest I get to cereal pickiness is putting the corn flakes in the bowl before the muesli. If the muesli is on the bottom, it turns into Dill-Worth Cake soggy cardboard before I can eat it.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130): COTW contender!

    @Calico (#145): Stay away from Hollyoaks and, um, what’s that other one? The Corrie one. [quick Google] Coronation Street. The former is filled with douchebags of both genders and the latter’s storyline speed is measured in “half-Apartment 3-G’s.”

    @True Fable (#160): Too great. I come for the comics, I stay for the digressions.

  162. bats :[
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#160): and a motorized rockin’ chair, too!
    (Is it True Fable, or is it Walt Wallet?)

  163. Marzipan
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    I’m quite surprised the needless, disgusting filth and continued aggressive incompetence of the chuckleheads on Family Circus didn’t make it today. I guess you can only go that route so many times before the hopelessness of it threatens to suck you into an inescapable despair.

  164. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury-“Some of us have jobs unlike my deadbeat brother-in-law.”

    Curtis-And where did you get the money that you say you never have to pay for all this stuff?

  165. Little Guy
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Let Shrug Tell You Something…! (#101): Not only Downton Abbey, but there’s Grey’s Anatomy, the late Private Practice, and, in a way, Game of Thrones Boardwalk Empire, House of Lies, Mad Men, and Walking Dead (although the soapy parts for TWD are the worst elements),

  166. odinthor
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#124): Yes, we too usually refer to “the” 605 or whatever, without the letter. In California, use or non-use of the “the” is one of the distinctions in usage between longtime rivals Northern California and Southern California (or, more specifically, San Francisco and L.A.).

  167. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#161): You know you’re a plugger if you have to add muesli to your corn flakes.

  168. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    JP-It is easier for him to control his drug cartel from Mexico.

  169. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#94): His wives.

  170. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#103): Wait, Lisa’s death was scheduled and foretold in advance, like Batiuk was staging a media event?

  171. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-”To pay for all this I had to sell Curtis.”

  172. Dood
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy So, Joe Staton and Mike Curtis are the pillar of this “Baux” construct?

  173. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#132): “That’s not a seal. Not a helicopter. Must be an iceberg.” Penguin breadth of experience.

  174. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday Archie, today Beetle Bailey. It’s “update an old gag by adding a cellphone” week in the legacies.

    Q: What is hairy and gets toe-tagged at night in the woods?
    A: I don’t know either, but we have to figure it out in order to understand today’s BC.

    Adam: I feel queasily suspicious that the author didn’t trust his audience to know what bureaucracy was before making a joke about it. And then he forgot the joke.

  175. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#171): …to his Scout leader.” NTTAWWW.

  176. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#168):
    Bubba was invited to the wedding too.

  177. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Archie— Veronica shouldn’t be surprised that Archie’s car broke down. Any vehicle whose passenger door needs to be secured by a hockey stick couldn’t be very reliable.

  178. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    H&J — Isn’t that house unusually tiny? Maybe I’m seeing it wrong.

  179. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#167): No no no. The muesli is probably 40% to 60% dried fruit. You don’t eat it to make you poo, you eat it because it’s sweet and tasty. Many muesli’s (mueslia?) come with chocolate pieces. Mmm.

    @Liam (#171): Diane wouldn’t care as long as her precious Barry is still around.

  180. Bootsy
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    My family mausoleum has a tiny window in the door, but my grandmother explained it was for aesthetics only. Also, any family crypt is going to have skeletons in it. For whoever asked, yes, they do get full up. Cemetery workers, when they open a site for a new burial, have to move whatever’s left of the older inhabitants to make room. A few years ago, (I think it was) Lafayette Cemetery’s wall suffered a lightning strike that knocked bricks loose from the wall, and opened a few of the wall crypts (the walls are about 10 feet thick, and lined with spaces for burial). Legend says there was a skull lying on Washington Avenue in front of Commander’s Palace.

  181. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    S-M — That road ditch is small, shallow, and brushless. You’re a big weeny, Bad Guy. And isn’t Spider-Dork supposed to be in a desert? Where did the puddle and lush green vegetation come from?

  182. Little Guy
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#180): I’ll add that, when we had to bury a family member in a somewhat smallish plot that had already 10-12 names listed on both sides of the tombstone, it was explained that nature and decomposition took care of space. Especially since it was about 40-50 years from first burial.

  183. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#179): Methinks thou protesteth too much.
    //Sure, sure, sweet, tasty fruit. Prunes are fruit, right?

  184. Lumaca Morente
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#179): What is the other 20%?

  185. Dood
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal: Which side of the fence that runs through their house is the couch and the lamp on?

  186. Majicou
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    A&J: While I prefer it to Rose is Rose‘s chronic overexplaining, I’m not wild about this strip’s habit of being bring-your-own-premise.

    FW: What kind of god causes debilitating brain damage in order to deliver some gentle life advice? Oh, right, Batiuk.

    GT: “You’ve started shooting the lights out. What’s different?”
    “Um… well, I’ve started bringing a gun to the games…”

    Marvin: I don’t think the young people text and tweet for the sheer, wild fun of using abbreviations.

  187. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — Some guys can’t carry that off, and Brad, you are one of them.

  188. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#183): You know you’re not quite a plugger yet when you feel ashamed about what you eat for your bowels.

  189. KreatureFeatures
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m looking into my Mark Trail crystal ball, and I’m seeing Rusty trapped under the axle of Rod Bassy’s van, with a rising tide.

  190. Fortean Shrug
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#180):

    “Cemetery workers, when they open a site for a new burial, have to move whatever’s left of the older inhabitants to make room.”

    I’ve always supposed that the old inhabitants in the Chase Vault in Barbados (google “creeping coffins” if you don’t already know the story) were politely trying to move themselves to save others the work, but (being dead) were sort of inept at it.

  191. 4015 red delicious
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    SM- The gun barrel being twisted off the gun receives little more than a palid observation from the criminal. However, the inconvenience of having to spend 2 minutes looking for his keys in a shallow stream of water gets a sharp objection. But, what really colors this guy as being a “special needs” sort is the fact that he would try to mug someone who couldn’t afford a bus ticket.
    Peter Parker: “You know, you’re just a really terrible criminal. I mean like, you’re really, really bad at it! Maybe you should just get a job. You could be a greeter at the Walmart – they give greeter jobs to fellows like you.”

  192. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#181): It’s a pee trench, at a roadside rest stop.

  193. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#186): You should see what Batiuk’s god does if you don’t get the hint the first time.

  194. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#192): Thanks! Obviously I’ve led a sheltered life.

  195. Bootsy
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Fortean Shrug (#190):

    Agreed. The dead are as inept as the undead.

    @Little Guy (#182): Also true. If it’s been long enough, the workers usually only need employ a whisk broom.

  196. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @4015 red delicious (#191): Isn’t there an opening shoveling elephant poop? (note to self: no muesli for the elephant…)

  197. Bootsy
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    On a different note from mausoleums, Luann is as squicky as it gets. Has Greg Evans never even had a conversation with a woman? Or heard 2 people ever speak to one another?

    The “Toni pushes her back against Brad as they sit on the couch and awkwardly joust verbally with each other in what Evans imagines to be a flirtatious fashion” construct is not just unfunny, I believe it is actually anti-funny.

  198. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    MW — I haven’t seen this aspect of nature since I threw up right after a big dose of Pepto-Bismol.

  199. Hart of Johnny
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    I’ll admit it: usually the six differences panels confound me (I’m good for 4-5 most times). I solved this panel and felt smug satisfaction, followed by shame that I’m a dolt most times. Don’t even get me started on the Jumble.

  200. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#174):

    Q: What is hairy and gets toe-tagged at night in the woods?
    A: I don’t know either, but we have to figure it out in order to understand today’s BC.

    I know scientists in my state tag Florida panthers with radio collars and track them using a technology called GIS (short for “geographic information systems”). Like most punchline/jokes, the one in BC is probably the result of a misunderstanding. Or in this particular strip, a case of mistaken identity.

    I assume Caveman #1 tagged Caveman #2 with a “radio collar” because:

    1) In the dark, he thought Caveman #2 was a Florida panther (or some other endangered species of wildlife).

    2) He doesn’t know the difference between a radio collar and a toe tag

  201. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#142): Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

  202. wooddragon
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#84): Re: Cow and Boy: These are new strips, aren’t they? I thought he was going for donations, not pay per view. The folks being mentioned in the comics are the big donors.

  203. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    MW — If John drops dead of a heart attack as he tries to lift the cake and then Mary delivers a whole week of inspirational platitudes at his funeral, I will forgive everything that has happened in this strip for the past three years.

  204. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Baldo— And so the slow, painful, psychological castration of Baldo begins. Eventually, Estella will shame him into giving up his interest in cars, soccer, hanging out with Cruz, and any other guy stuff. At that point she will tell him, “You can be my boyfriend now, but of course, you can’t touch me. You can watch while I’m having sex with my girlfriend, but don’t you dare think of having sex with either of us, or with anyone else for that matter. Masculinity is soooo 20th century!”

  205. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#183): Come to Europe. Find out what muesli really is.

    @Lumaca Morente (#184): Shredded “Le Figaro.”

  206. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Don’t tell her about the peacock. Tell her that you’re on drugs.

  207. Lumaca Morente
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#205): Largo factotum della cita, largo!

  208. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Nah. I’m not doing much. Just sitting around here in my own filth.

  209. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#200): I had prior familiarity with radio neck collars, cadaver toe tags and jokes based on misunderstanding, but two misunderstandings is like a double negative and negates the joke.

    Option #1: Guy wakes up with a toe tag and says, “I have to stop sleeping in the cemetery.” Lame, because there aren’t officials who walk around the cemetery at night toe-tagging stray corpses, but there’s a joke.

    Option #2: Guy wakes up with a radio collar and says, “*Sigh* I think it’s time I shaved.” Lame, because it’s BC but we get it. They mistook him for a wolf or a Florida panther.

    Option #3: We see a morgue full of bodies, all fitted with toe tags, except one who has a radio collar instead. Someone in a labcoat is saying, “She was a wildlife biologist.” Lame, because I just made it up.

    Option #4: Something with a wildlife biologist drugging a grizzly bear and then attaching a toe tag. You can make up the punchline.

    This is what it must be like trying to program the AJGLU 3000.

  210. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#166): Yes! I’m a native Northern Californian, and we’d never say “the 101″ or “the 80.”

  211. Lumaca Morente
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#209): Maybe if we construe it as a ‘Phantom’ crossover? “Gee, one minute I’m in a cage with a piece of meat…”

  212. wossname
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @wooddragon (#202): Re Cow and Boy, I thought the idea was that you’d only be able to read it if you contributed. Maybe we’re having a transition period, to be followed by a “pay up or be locked out” ultimatum. I have paid, but I don’t have to do anything special to access it, so maybe you’re right that he was just asking for donations.

  213. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

  214. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#180): Someone on the GoComics site suggests that a coffin-free skeleton right up against the door represents a premature burial, someone who escaped a coffin, crawled over to the door, but expired before hitting on the idea of breaking a window. I thought it was creepy enough to bear repeating.

  215. greghousesgf
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#68): I’m from California and I can tell you right now you can NOT get around LA if you don’t have a car.

  216. Shrug, Ghost-Who-Snarks
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#211):

    “Maybe if we construe it as a ‘Phantom’ crossover? “Gee, one minute I’m in a cage with a piece of meat…”

    That sounds more like how the troll-guy in PIBGORN would describe his plot.

    /// I *do not* want to even think about a PHANTOM / PIBGORN plot crossover.

  217. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#211): “… and the next minute this guy in purple spandex is trying to dance with me. I have to cut back on the drinking.”

  218. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”You busted my gun and your hand isn’t bleeding and you’re not showing any signs of pain.”

  219. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    DT-Joe Stanton and Mike Curtis pillars in the cemetery community.

  220. Amos Snarkadder
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @ # Poteet
    Well, we have two more days this week in 2-3 panel strips, then Sunday. Team Dillworth has to finish decorating then move that sucker to the display table. Will there be a cliffhanger? Will it teeter ‘twixt heaven and earth all weekend?

  221. Lumaca Morente
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#213): Fiii-iiigaro! Figaro! Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!

  222. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#214): That’s brilliant!

  223. 4015 red delicious
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Panel 1 – “Oh, god. He’s trying to awkwardly force his bulbous, misshapen body onto me. Maybe if I make giant eyeballs, a crooked mouth and turn my hand into a spork, he’ll take the hint and keep his furry upper lip out of my face.”
    You know you’ve reached a comfortable place in your marraige when simple, mundane tasks are mistaken for unwelcome sexual advances.

  224. Lumaca Morente
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

  225. Anonymous
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#220): Since Santa Royale is on the coast I’m assuming the convention center is near the pier. I’m predicting an earth jarring ferry crash into the pier as the cake is being carried. John Dill is confronted with saving the cake or Mary and loses an arm saving the cake. Dawn laments that Dave used to save cakes like that too, sigh.

  226. Mikey
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#220): Since Santa Royale is on the coast I’m assuming the convention center is near the pier. I’m predicting an earth jarring ferry crash into the pier as the cake is being carried. John Dill is confronted with saving the cake or Mary and loses an arm saving the cake. Dawn laments that Dave used to save cakes like that too, sigh.

  227. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Henry-A newspaper? In this day and age. Shocking.

    A3G-Do EMTs dress like that? That looks like a horribly outdated uniform.

    A3G 2-”She’s barely breathing. I undressed her and put her in pajamas and she didn’t react at all.”

  228. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#135) said: “@Little Guy (#82): I was trying to reference the Fast & Furious franchise without saying ‘Fast’ or ‘Furious’.”

    When I see phrase, “Fast & Furious”, I automatically think, “Brad DeGroot”.

  229. Voshkod
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#209): I think you missed one – a wildlife biologist putting a radio collar on what he thinks is a drugged grizzly bear, whilst the bear – not actually sleeping – is quietly putting a toe tag on the biologist.

  230. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Petey’s super hand strength came not from a radioactive spider bite but an overactive jacking-off reflex.

  231. Hogenmogen
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @4015 red delicious (#191): “You’re a really bad criminal. You’ve been easily defeated by the world’s shittiest superhero and I’m not even breaking a sweat.”

  232. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#221): Sorry. I don’t read French.

  233. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#228) meant to say: “…the phrase…”

    Similar to my academic career, I need to publish another article.

  234. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#229): Now that is brilliantly funny. BC doesn’t even get to the level of funny indicated by “Ha ha the bear will eat the biologist” and has no chance of going beyond to the “ha ha bears know what toe tags are and pretag their victims, even though they’re probably going to eat them all, including the toes.” It’s still funny after I explained it to death.

    Can you explain the weird clampy thing that attaches the toe tag to the toe in BC?

  235. tallyHO
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#214):

    Whether that is just “creepy”, sound deductive reasoning or wishful thinking, just don’t tell us that someone else ended up remarking on the skeleton:
    ‘Yeah, I’d bone that!’

  236. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#229): @Aviatrix (#209): I think you missed one – a wildlife biologist putting a radio collar on what he thinks is a drugged grizzly bear, whilst the bear – not actually sleeping – is quietly putting a toe tag on the biologist.

    That sounds like a joke in Chad Carpenter’s Tundra. Carpenter does a lot of snowman gags, and a toe tag figures prominently in one of my favorite cartoons of that type (top example):

    http://eborg3.com/Facebook-Graphics2/Toons/Tundra/Tundra-020110-ToeTag.jpg

  237. seismic-2
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    H&J: You’ve reached a comfortable point in your marriage when you can effectively ignore the person with whom you’ve been living for the past 20 years, when your houses collided in a tornado.

    DT: If that home run had been hit just 2 inches further to the left, there would have been a new skull deposited in the Bone Baux.

    ASM: I call foul. This middle-aged Anglo is not a young Latino male with total color blindness, and no one else would have any reason to drive a teal-green low-rider with teal-green interior.

  238. tallyHO
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Bi-Polar Shrug (#111):

    I see that as part of Count Weirdly’s Charming Deviousness.

    He gives Slylock a way out of this predicaments. He does so by being off by a bit.

    Sherlock Holmes has Moriarty, right? Well, with Weirdly he makes it seems like he loses to Slylock. Yet, obviously a dude with a time traveling bubble and a holodeck and who knows what else, is just toying with Slylock. That he let’s Slylock and Max believe they are brilliant and resourceful is kind of sweet.

    I would like to see how Weirdly deals with humans though. Is he friend of foe to homo sapiens?

    //You know my theories about Nightmare Valley.

  239. tallyHO
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1):
    I had to read this several times before I realized you weren’t explaining an Alan Moore comic book story.

    “The League of Extraordinary Wuthering, Meow-Meow Slash Fiction” or sumptin.

  240. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 31st, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#166): @Marc (#124): It’s a shibboleth, in other words, and given how much migration there’s been from SoCal to Washington, it might have migrated along the people. Or maybe not.

  241. sighing maiden, still sighing
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#232): Try this: “Igarofay, igarofay, igarofay”

  242. I speak Jive
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#128): @Baka Gaijin (#161): My cereal and milk oddity: I have always put the milk in the bowl first, and then added cereal. I believe there was a Far Side cartoon about this.

    @Bootsy (#180): The deceased are not buried in caskets? I didn’t know that.

  243. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#235): Nope, tallyHO, all yours.

  244. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    I just caught up with Pibgorn. I can really see McE believing he is creating a comic with universal appeal: erudite social intercourse for the opera-going cultured folks, kitties and unicorns for the middle class, and barely-clad ladies who will bang anything for those stinky people who program computers. Mock him all you like, but he does know how to draw pretty pictures.

  245. Alison
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: This is strange. I wonder how far it will go.

    TONI: “Here, Brad, put on this slinky pink dress for me so I can see how it looks. Great! Now put on my pantyhose and stilettos. Nice! Now, my bra! We can stuff socks in it and pretend they’re boobs.”
    BRAD: “Uh huh ha ha… somebody said ‘boobs’…a female person said ‘boobs’ next to me…haa ha…guuuhhh…” [Breaks into a nervous sweat]

    “Mary Worth”: Talk about phoning it in. “John and Mary prepare. The contest begins”. That’s the whole strip? This arc is going to last at least three more weeks, at this rate, even though we all know already Mr. Dill will win.

  246. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244): Oh no, not kitties. That’s the only thing that could tempt me to return to PIBGORN, so I’m going to try not to think about it. LALALALALA…

  247. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    MW – So help me out here….the theme of the contest is supposed to be “Nature” isn’t it? How does a Pepito-Bismal colored tier cake remind you of nature? What am I so obviously missing here?

    Luann – This is getting even lamer than Mark Trail and the last Anne Eyefull arc. And that’s saying a lot!

  248. Mibbitmaker
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “Ah… Hello, Rod. Lovely day t–”
    Rod Bassy: “NOTHING!”

    Jeez, when Frasier Crane once said “…that bitch Diane!”, I never knew he was referring to Curtis’s mom!

  249. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#246): There are no kitties today. Scantily clad women captured inside a computer program: yes. Pretty woman doing a mindmeld with a penis-headed man: yes. Penis-headed man’s memories of training a “flower girl” to be a stripper: yes. Kitties: no. I haven’t checked 9CL yet.

  250. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#247):

    The Dill-Worth cake is titled ‘Nature gives me Diarrhea’.

  251. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Far be it from me to defend someone so ostentatiously guilty, but common courtesy would demand that you check with the person you want to ride with before getting the OK from the tournament authorities.

  252. commodorejohn
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#249): Brooke is one of the two newspaper-comic artists (Greg Evans being the other, natch) who have that special gift normal only found in the world of webcomics, of being able to make me feel like I’m going to contract a smorgasbord of venereal diseases just reading the synopses of their comics.

  253. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#251):

    Then again, Mark is a bone head after all.

    // Solid bone, through and through….it can even deflect speeding bullets!

  254. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    January 31st, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#252):

    But nothing sexual ever happens in the Luanniverse, so there’s no need to worry there!

  255. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#246): Don’t worry; there are no cats in Pibgorn. Yet.

  256. Peanut Gallery
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @jack (#57): There’s a tiny corner of it sticking out from the back of the kid’s hand in panel 1.

  257. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#238):

    Actually, given that he can travel through time and conjure illusions at will, is it not possible that it was Weirdly himself who took the animals out of the forest and gave them intelligence, free will and clothing to make them into the human-like creatures that inhabit the strip today? Did he teach those animals to read and write, to farm and work, and to live in harmonious multi-species communities? And did the animals, reveling in their newfound abilities, then turn their backs on him, turning him into an embittered recluse who tortures his own creations, yet can’t bring himself to eliminate them because, deep down, he still considers them his….children?

    And is projecting this much backstory onto a children’s puzzle comic the sign of any known mental illness?

  258. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244):

    Mock him all you like, but he does know how to draw pretty pictures.

    No, he doesn’t. Or at least, I have yet to see evidence of it.

  259. odinthor
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#252):

    I’d like to see Greg Evans and Brooke McE. switch, and draw each other’s strip for a week.

    Hm. Perhaps “like to see” is not quite the expression. More like, “look upon with a combination of dread and horrified curiosity.” Which, um, would call for a few further adjustments later in the sentence. It would also call for several weeks in therapy.

  260. Anonymous
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Lair of Rockwhales (#42):

    Thankfully one of you pointed it out.

    http://joshreads.com/?p=6779

    Upon seeing that H&J strip there today I was hoping Josh’s line would be about “reaching a comfortable point in being a comic strip author” with the link above provided.

    Disturbingly, Josh was more to the point in the previous analysis.

  261. Mr K Martin
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    FUNKY WINKY: And then the Witch Doctor he told me what to do. He said that:

    Eee cooden sen emall
    Ting Ting Walla Walla Bing Bang!
    Eee cooden sen emall
    Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang!

  262. Sequitur
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#258): I have to agree with pastordan. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but I’m holding no bee so I see no beauty.

    …………………………………………….

    Mommy? What did Mr. Sequitur mean by what he just said?
    Hush, child. Don’t talk to the insane.

  263. Red Greenback
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    True story: About 20 years ago, a buddy of mine was unloading his shopping cart at a grocery store in Malibu when he heard a cheerful voice over his shoulder say “Hey, muesli! Good stuff.” My friend turned to agree with his fellow muesli fan, and it turned out the cheerful voice was attached to none other than Dick Van Dyke!

  264. Zerowolf
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G: The building is on fire. Where do you think I’m going, to decorate a cake?

  265. Sequitur
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#71): Thanks for showing that, queek. After the kids use it I don’t have to worry about them being on my lawn. If they survive it they get a chance to ride my merry-go-round with my special friends!

  266. tallyHO
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#257):

    Now see, oddly enough I wouldn’t go too deep into it with the psychology of Count Weirdly.

    He’s a scientist of some sort so it just stands the cartoon logic of the strip seems to make it clear that the civilization he lives in is one which he is one of the very few humans. Considering the other humans are also ne’er-do-wells, the animals would seem to be be very much in charge of things. However, Weirdly, even unlike the Witch, seems to have too much going in his favor to just accept his lot in that civilization.

    Now, I will agree that there would need to be some form of nurturing and that a guiding hand would be needed for the mix of forest and jungle animals to evolve so quickly that they feel the need to roam their environs partially clothed.

    It doesn’t really make any sense that they approach their evolved state like that but if Count Weirdly is some form of role model then his influence may stem from the fact that he does wear a mask, a top hat and a nightgown. So, the civilized critters choice’s for attire make sense. How they developed and allow a class system to exist is beyond me though.

    Whether or not some form of illness can be diagnosed in someone trying to divine raisons d’etre in a children’s comic strip is something which I don’t know for certain. However, I can say this: to create a potentially humorous comic strip it is probably good to get in that frame of mind.

  267. Anonymous
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#234): Although my religion generally prohibits reading B.C., I did look at it. The clamping thing is some sort of cattle tagger, it looks. So it makes some sense. Why they’re putting a radio tag on his toe, as opposed to a toe tag on his ear, remains a mystery for the sages.

  268. Sequitur
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    The question is does Weirdly take off his mask when he makes love to his wife?

    You didn’t know he was married? Here’s a shot of Mrs. Weirdly.

  269. Voshkod
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    And 267 was me.

  270. Voshkod
    January 31st, 2013 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#236): Those weren’t bad. Somewhat Far Side-y, but what single panel comic isn’t these days?

  271. Droopy Says
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#209): It looks like toe-tagger guy is wearing a cowboy hat. Or what the drones at Hart LLC imagine a cowboy might put on his head. That would make the tag a means of identifying cattle. Those tags are stapled to the ear, so it’s no surprise that BC would have one stapled to a man’s foot. Neither is it a surprise that Peg Leg Peckerwood doesn’t wake screaming in pain when his toe is pierced. I’m not sure what the joke would be. “Maybe it’s time I invented shaving?” “Maybe it’s time to stop eating so much beef?” “A BC cowboy is a total absurdity, and the absurd is funt, so laugh, damn it?”

    Maybe it’s an effort at genuine caveman humor. There was a scene in Quest For Fire where one Neandertal dropped a rock on another’s head. Everybody, including the victim, falls down laughing. Nah, that can’t be it. Nobody’s laughing here.

  272. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#266):

    He’s a scientist of some sort so it just stands the cartoon logic of the strip seems to make it clear that the civilization he lives in is one which he is one of the very few humans.

    Are you suggesting that this whole strip takes place in some kind of dystopian future, where humans have suffered some kind of awful tragedy that has reduced the human population to the point that the only people left are self-sustaining mad scientists and mystics with supernatural powers? Because that puts a really creepy underlying atmosphere on every single panel of this strip, especially ones like today which I now must assume is actually depicting some kind of animal museum diorama teaching young frogs and birds about the (nearly) extinct species whose civilizations once ruled the planet.

  273. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#247):

    You need to go outside more often. Pepto Bismal pink is everywhere. You need to admire the pink colored sky and feel the pink grass between your toes.

  274. Sequitur
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#270):

    Somewhat Far Side-y, but what single panel comic isn’t these days?

    Ziggy. Ziggy is never Far Side-y. It’s mostly Far From Having Pants-y.

  275. Zerowolf
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#247): “How does a Pepito-Bismal colored tier cake remind you of nature?”

    The discovery that clear mountain stream you drank from wasn’t quite as clear as you thought.

  276. Wizard of NIMH
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#257): And is projecting this much backstory onto a children’s puzzle comic the sign of any known mental illness?

    It is an open question as of now. Do continue commenting, please!

  277. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244): @pastordan, lazy professor (#258): At the very least he does have an eyecatching design sense. Those Nicole Cignet ads in Chickweed could, with a little tweaking, fill space in Vanity Fair.

  278. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Wizard of NIMH (#276):

    Why do I feel like I’m being spammed by an ELIZABOT?

    Or is that just another sign of paranoia…? I’m just going to go…grab the….tin foil…

  279. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#266): @Sequitur (#268): That is a mask Weirdly’s wearing? I thought they were super hipster eyeglass frames.

    // Been looking around to see if I can get a pair like that. No luck at Cafepress. Yet.

  280. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#268): For a moment there I thought that rather than just leaning against that chest of drawers, she was part of it, making her some sort of furniture-centaur.

    @Droopy Says (#271): I must say I missed “cow ear tag” when I was thinking of various reasons for attaching things to the bodies of the unwilling. I think that simply increases the size of the chart of possible things that could be funny, rather than making this funny. If you’re going to make an ear tag joke you have to attach it to an ear, otherwise it’s absurd or incomprehensible (depending on your drawing skill). On the other hand, it’s funny when you say it.

    @tallyHO (#266) & @pugfuggly (#257): You guys just made me add Shylock Fox to my feed. Now to see whether the six differences challenges help fend off dementia or the semi-clad animals conundrum brings it on.

  281. Cloudbuster
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#253):

    I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to call Mark “bonefish” because of that time he was kidnapped while fishing for bonefish!

  282. Cloudbuster
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    H&J: I’ve never been in a relationship so comfortable that I felt compelled to crawl on top of someone to turn off a light instead of saying, “Hey, could you turn off the light?”

  283. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#189):

    seeing Rusty trapped under the axle of Rod Bassy’s van, with a rising tide.

    Rusty: But Doc tells me lakes don’t even have tides. How can this be happening?
    Rod: Just not your lucky day, kid.

  284. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    McE is a pretentious twit working out his creepy issues in his comics, but I have to admit his drawings are well done, often stunningly so. I’m separating the subject matter from the execution, but even the grotesque drawings (75-80%) show what he wants them to show.

  285. Cloudbuster
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#282): …Unless I was just using the light as a pretext to crawl on top of them. Which is exactly what’s not happening here.

  286. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    The description text for Slylock Fox says he “teaches young readers about art, nature, pets, self-esteem and health.” I already learned how to spell “Slylock” correctly. I look forward to more enlightenment.

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#284): Exactly. With other cartoonists you look at the art and say “what?” For McEldowney the question is generally “why?”

    @Cloudbuster (#285): Unless he’s really bad at drawing her look of passionate anticipation.

  287. Old Folkie
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @Minneapolis ‘Mudge Shrug (#95): Only went to St Paul once – got so lost I had to keep my eye on the Foshay Tower to find my way back to “Minaplis”

  288. tallyHO
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#272):

    A Dystopian Future?

    Of course that is something worth considering. Personally, I prefer to not consider it because it means that rats living in trailers evolved and decided to put on human clothing left behind after the Anthro-pocalypse.

    That’s too much for me to handle without getting creeped out.

    And, since some of the characters had odd hats and might wear leisure suits, there’s already so many wrong things being shown. How do they choose their identities in choosing their attire? If they do choose their identities then how far fetched is it that their attire matches their personalities? I mean, look at Slylock.
    Another for instance: how much of a stretch is if for Max to get an urge to reenact scenes from “A Clockwork Orange (or Yellow)”?

    If Weirdly is dosing both him and Slylock, who the hell knows what little Maxwell would do under the influence of chemicals? And, Slylock wouldn’t know a damn thing either.

    I prefer to look at whatever the hell is going on in the strip as being separated from the rest of the world. But, who knows for sure. They do drive cars! So if the rest of the world’s infrastructure remains then they could get around….but…

    I bet they know that a Possum driving a car down a road still counts as roadkill even if a semi-truck just hits the car the Possum is driving. There must be some survival instinct at play here.

    Oh yeah. I should point out that there is Weirdly, the scientist, Wanda(?), the witch/mytic, and then there is that smarmy mofo, (? Smeddly ? or what ever his mustachioed mug is called). The latter guy seems to be the weakest link and the most likely to be caught and tried in that damn kangaroo court system those animals have set up. At least Wanda can control the weather, or claim to control it.

    Lastly, for now, Slylock seems to believe he is the top fox in that chicken coop.

    De-Loo-Shun-Al. There’s no way he’s in charge. There’s something off about that never-doffed suit and cape-wearing fox.

    There’s just way too much that Weirdly has in his favor to alter the course of human and critter events for his station in life to be taken lightly.

  289. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 31st, 2013 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: The January 3 strip is beautiful (yes, I had to go back that far. Perhaps my 75-80% was a tad low). He does things with water, shadow and smoke that no one else in the daily strips even attempts. Still a jerk, though.

  290. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#289): I think he should swap with the A3G artist for a couple of weeks. Wouldn’t you like to see McE’s version of three young women forced to flee their apartment in the middle of the night? And if McE is going to go on a kick of not drawing lower halves, might as well give the job to a pro.

  291. Jamus The Bartender
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: A few years back, I read a story in Hellblazer when John Constantine was hitching a ride to London. After doing some blow with a couple of hippie chicks, he got a ride with a scary guy who wanted to bad touch him. And, because ” magic is all around us” and all that, Mister Bad Touch wound up with a razor blade jammed in his face. I mention this, not because I want to see Peter with a razor blade in his face, but it would perk up the story.

  292. Anon
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    I’m not about to go wading through years upon years of archives to find it, but I’m pretty sure today’s H&J is another repeat.

  293. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#245):

    … we all know already Mr. Dill will win.

    But the excitement! The tension! The exhiliration!
    //It’ll be a real thriller-Diller!

  294. KreatureFeatures
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#283): “… lakes don’t even have tides …”

    Hmm, good point. Maybe Rusty’s enormous moon-shaped head exerts enough gravitational pull to create a local phenomenon?

  295. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#293): Well, and if Mr. Dill lets Mary down, he’s going to find himself in a real pickle. I mean, disappointing Mary Worth? That’s just not kosher. He’ll need to stay cool as a cucumber!

  296. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Aviatrix
    A3G is supposed to be a sexy comic, and in my dim recollections of the 60s, it was, with the girls frequently changing clothes and lounging around in lingerie. McE could bring that feel back, provided someone else was doing the plotting and writing.

  297. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#295): And earn his bread and butter.

  298. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury-Take that younger generation who is living off the hard work of your parents generation; the generation that fought so hard to bring democracy to Vietnam.

  299. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#296): McE could make Mark Trail sexy with no change to the plotting. Cherry and Kelly would get wardrobe makeovers and Catfish would turn out to be a sexy lady, too. There woudn’t be a pair of mom jeans in sight, and Mark would carry a composition notebook, not necessarily for journalistic purposes.

  300. Voshkod
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#274): Ziggy is like the Far Side. In the same way feces is like chocolate. There’s a distant similarity to casual observation, but woe to he who licks before he looks.

  301. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    For queek: So. Many. Puppies!

  302. Ukulele Ike
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#259): Remember the Sunday Luann from last month, where Toni was dressed up as a sexxxxy Santa’s Little Helper? I have a feeling Brooke’s done a couple dozen “personal interpretations” of it, for his own artistic edification.

    DT Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx, one of the nation’s premiere garden-style boneyards, has an enormous mausoleum famous for having home-style windows with plain glass in them, sheltered by pretty (and dusty) silk curtains. The effect is a bit….grotesque.

    Side note: If the cemetery groundskeepers in Dick Tracy are connoisseurs of Weimar Republic architecture and design, do they call today’s gravesite the “Baux Haus” ?

  303. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    Love is… letting your girl friend smear lipstick on your face.

    Note to Brad DeGroot: You’re doing it all wrong.

  304. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#259): That would be a worthy experiment, yes. Certainly, there are similar themes in both their work, and it would be interesting to see their handling of their character’s sexuality reversed.

  305. Dale
    January 31st, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL needs to show us some contest rules.

    Can the organizers stick an observer in any boat? He’s going to be in the way.
    The observer needs to sign a non-disclosure agreement. The contestant may have skills that he wants to keep secret.
    If Rod loses and he’s the only one with an observer, lawsuit follows.

  306. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#302): Is Baux Haus pronounced “bo ho” “box house” or “bowz howz”? I’m still trying to figure out how denizens of this comic strip would be pronouncing Baux.

  307. Sequitur
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#300): “Licking a Ziggy” must be some sort of euphemism.

    I’m not sure what it means but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to get caught doing it.

  308. Peanut Gallery
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#278):

    Why do I feel like I’m being spammed by an ELIZABOT?

    Tell me more about such feelings.

  309. Peanut Gallery
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#278): Mark Trail interviews someone more his speed:

    > Hello, I am Eliza.
    * I’m Mark Trail… I called you about an interview!
    > Did you come to me because you are Mark Trail… you called me about an interview?
    * It seems that way!
    > Come, come, elucidate your thoughts.
    * Do you mind if I ask you about your fishing technique… and how you manage to catch so many big fish?
    > We were discussing you, not me.
    * How many tournaments have you entered and how many have you won?
    > Oh… entered and how many have me won?
    * Do you think you’re catching more fish because of your lure or because you know where to fish and at what depth to fish?
    > Perhaps you would like to be catching more fish because of my lure or because me know where to fish and at what depth to fish?
    * Not at all, but the way you reel in the lure is often as effective as the type of lure you are using!
    > Perhaps you would like to be using?
    * Do you think you can win this tournament? There are a lot of good fishermen here!
    > You’re not really talking about me, are you?
    * You’re pretty good at winning tournaments!
    > Does it please you to believe I am pretty good at winning tournaments?
    * I’m taking some pictures to go with my article about you!
    > How long have you been taking some pictures to go with your article about me?
    * I’d like to get some shots of the inside of your van!
    > Why are you concerned about my van?
    * I’ve arranged with the tournament officials to go with you in your boat!
    > Oh… in my boat?

  310. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#278): Highly recommend this book for anyone into ELIZA: Galatea 2.2. Good, solid science fiction without all the annoying “I-got-bit-by-a-spider” twerps. His first novel, Three Farmers on Their Way to a Dance, is also brilliant, if for no other reason than featuring an accurately-depicted Henry Ford as a main character.

  311. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and I do not concede the point. McEl sucks as an artist, though admittedly he’s pretty good at perspective.

  312. Aviatrix
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#311): So who do you think has the best comic strip art, of the strips usually covered here, not something we’ve never heard of who posts between midterms at deviantArt?

    //Oops, that sounds way snarkier than it meant to. I wasn’t accusing you of being a hipster, honest.

  313. Poteet
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#273): I’ve tried, really I have. In my mind’s eye, I have reviewed the pink of Rosa carolina (wild pasture rose), the pink on the breast of the redpoll, the pink of an Iowa winter sunset, and the pink of prairie phlox. But none of them really look like the cake. The cake is definitely Pepto-Bismol pink, and while it may succeed as a culinary celebration of the element bismuth, gazing at it brings on a vague but definite sense that my tummy is not well. Excuse me.

  314. Peanut Gallery
    January 31st, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    This is kind of addictive. Just one more and then I’ll stop:

    * Poor Randy… all he wanted was to quietly get married!
    > That is quite interesting.
    * Loose lips sink ships… no pun intended!
    > You are being a bit negative.
    * It must be tough on April knowing he’s going to die soon!
    > Can you elaborate on that?
    * You can bet on it!
    > Oh… can bet on it?
    * I wonder why he’s dying in Mexico?
    > Have you asked such questions before?
    * Maybe April’s dad lives in Mexico because he can’t live here!
    > You don’t seem quite certain.
    * This sounds intriguing!
    > I see.
    * I want to go on the cruise, too!
    > Why do you want to go on the cruise, too?
    * Relax, counselor… I was just kidding!
    > Say, do you have any psychological problems?

  315. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#312): *misses Baretto.*

  316. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dave Dahl (#y354): Chicago Tribune 86?d the Helen Keller Argyle Sweater and subbed in a 2009 Argyle making fun of Clay Aiken.

    Making fun of a blind person — even a famous (during her lifetime*) blind person like Helen Keller — can be fraught with risk. And why risk a potential firestorm to ridicule someone who hasn’t appeared on American Idol or who isn’t a Kardashian?

    Frankly, it’s too much to expect the average Argyle Sweater reader to connect “cartoon” Helen Keller with the Helen Keller portrayed by Patty Duke in a 50-year-old Hollywood film.

    Or am I underestimating the intelligence of the average Argyle Sweater reader?

    * Keller died in 1968.

  317. Liam
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jaamal-”Honey, can you think quieter. I can’t hear the tv over your thinking.”

  318. gwell
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#302):

    You know, I’ve had a lot of idea for pranks for my own funeral, but I really like the idea of instructing the funeral director to leave me propped up against the mausoleum’s window (apparently this is a common feature of mausoleums? who knew!). Imagine: a little old lady on her way to pay her respects to her late husband Maurice and there I am, what’s left of my forehead pressed against the glass, leering at passers-by with a manic, rictus grin.

  319. pugfuggly
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#288):

    So I guess Smedley(?) represents a third class of human survivors who manage to survive in this new animalocracy with trickery and theft. I think it’s those people I feel most sorry for, since they are exposed the most to this new order where animals go through the motions of obsoleted human activities (birds flying planes, for e.g.) without knowing why. Look at the poor frogs, who aren’t even certain how they reproduce anymore, making up alibis about the broken legs of their infants they’re sure they must have, even if they can’t quite recall what they look like.

    Well, enough crazy for tonight….

    @Peanut Gallery (#308):

    Dr. Sbaitso, I presume?

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#310):

    Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll put in on the list of books I really need to read once I manage to pry myself away from the internet.

  320. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#312): Tom Yeates, who’s been doing Prince Valiant for about a year, is phenomenal, even stipulating that he’s got a week to work with. Dick Tracy‘s Joe Staton is also very good, although as befitting Tracy art he’s got one foot in a very cartoony approach.

  321. Morgan Wick
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal turned into Funky Winkerbean so slowly we never even noticed. (Or maybe it’s trying to be Pluggers?)

  322. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#312): ‘Sallright. Wouldn’t be the first time.

    Now, remember: you asked.

    To start, let’s be clear here #1: dude’s a better draw-er than I ever will be. So Mr. McEldowney, if you’re trolling these threads, you can take that feather and put it in your fedora (I know you have a fedora).

    Let’s be clear here #2: it’s terribly, terribly difficult to be a “good” artist in the space allotted in papers these days. You really have to be on the money with line, design, and color, and not many people can nail all three, much less consistently like Herrimann did. So saying “McEldowney sucks” is a bit less savage than it sounds. They all suck to some extent because they have to, and let’s face it, there’s a *ton* of crappy artists working today, lots of people worse than McEldowney.

    And let’s be clear #3: McEl does have some things going for him. Like I said, he’s good at perspective, he’s really good at characterization through line, his figures move and flow like real people. He’s less skilled at design and coloration – too many goddamn gradient fills in the background – and when you put it all together? Well, it looks better than Garfield, but it’s hardly what I’d call “beautiful.” Serviceable, is more like it.

    Having said all that, in terms of pure technical skill, I’d put Bill Griffiths, Patrick McDonnell and Richard Thompson at the top. Nobody – nobody! – works a crowquill pen like Griffiths. I’ve never seen a colorist as adept as McDonnell. Thompson was such a great generalist, and a unique style. I’ll miss his art.

    All three of those guys are relatively old-fashioned in their techniques, which generally suits my tastes. But let’s talk about people who – like McEldowney – go in for more modern, computer-assisted production. The many strips associated with Giz of Menage a 3 (and Lord, there are a lot) are absolutely hack-work, but she’s a master at the human form, far more supple, natural and sexy than McEldowney. Scary Go Round by John Allison is a fantastic all-around showcase. For design, there’s Spacetrawler by Christopher Baldwin, or Sinfest by Tatsuya Ishida, an example of somebody who nails it day after day.

    And if you’d like a straightforward, “traditional,” dead-tree comic, Dick Tracy and Rex Morgan aren’t bad, but – I can’t believe I’m saying this – the artwork in Judge Parker is actually really good. Look at today’s strip, how it handles space, how the word balloons and layout propel you forward, create a sense of dialog that comes to an abrupt stop in Abbey’s gibes. They’re very subtly telling a story that doesn’t need wordy narration boxes to get its point across.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention some friends in all of this, though they’re not really household names. I knew Paige Braddock of Jane’s World in seminary, and if you don’t read the strip, you should, just to get a sense of what she can do with the human figure. Erik Johnson is more of an illustrator than a straight-up comix guy, but he’s plenty good at both. I went to high school with him and Mark Hirschler, who’s also mostly an illustrator, but can do a comic strip when he wants to. Mark did a hilarious caricature of me a few years ago, and here’s another take on it. Oh, and as long as we’re dropping names: Erik, Mark and I were in the same class as Maria Schneider, who used to draw Pathetic Geek Stories. You might know her as Miss Jean Tisdale from the Onion.

    Enough, sorry to gas on so long. Teal deer: there are a ton of better artists than Brooke McEldowney.

  323. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#294): Certainly the close-ups Josh shows us could give one that impression.

  324. Calico
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#179):
    Yay, I can post after losing power for 5-6 hours! Crazy high winds here.
    The Diane / Barry “My Poor Baby but I’m furious at my husband” thing is becoming a bit uncomfortable.

  325. DaveP
    January 31st, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Looks to me like it’s Spiderm…. oops, sorry, Peter Parker’s HAND that needs a bath. How long has he been hitchhiking?

  326. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#283): @KreatureFeatures (#294): If they’re as big as the Great Lakes, they do have tides. Now, they’re not that big, granted, and one may perhaps wish to quibble at calling these particular inland bodies of water “lakes” instead of “seas,” but there are indeed tides on the Great Lakes.

    @Poteet (#313): The pink it is closest to, in my mind, is that of the galah. As in, ya silly galah.

  327. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#314): @Peanut Gallery (#309):

    You…you…you are making these comic make fun of themselves! What say you Sir?

  328. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#313):

    Barf well Poteet, barf well.

  329. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#322): As someone with several hundred webcomics on feed, you are very much correct that there are a ton of really talented artists out there, and sometimes they even combine their art with amazing storytelling and plotlines. (And yet, somehow, these people survive with comments enabled, and actually get along with their fans. Huh.)

    Some examples, just off the top of my head: The Lost Side of Suburbia; Red Moon Rising, The Abominable Charles Christopher*, Endtown, Family Man, and Spindrift. Hell, if you want pervy well-drawn comics, you’re better off with Oglaf (which you can Google up yourself as it is VERY NSFW) which combines excellent drawing skills with naughty stuff that’s actually funny.

    *Their server is down at the moment, but it’s really worth waiting for.

  330. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#287):

    “Only went to St Paul once – got so lost I had to keep my eye on the Foshay Tower to find my way back to “Minaplis”ManyHappiness.

    // Though if you do head over to St. Paul (my birthplace) which is in both the Eastern AND Southern part of the state, make you go to Cossetta’s and The Nook!

  331. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#330):

    Rebooting…

    “Only went to St Paul once – got so lost I had to keep my eye on the Foshay Tower to find my way back to “Minaplis”ManyHappiness.” Fixed that for ya!

    // Though if you do head over to St. Paul (my birthplace) which is in both the Eastern AND Southern part of the state, make you go to Cossetta’s and The Nook!

  332. Uncle Lumpy
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#306):

    Is Baux Haus pronounced “bo ho” “box house” or “bowz howz”?

    BALIX HALIS

  333. Mr. O'Malley
    January 31st, 2013 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    ASM: If only he has a set of handcuffs, we may get a reprise of the ending of McTeague.

  334. LurkerMan
    February 1st, 2013 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy, who plays baseball in the fucking winter? Honestly, if that chick hit a homerun like that, her hands would be stinging in pain from the bat. When was the last time a Dick Tracy writer played baseball in cold weather? Or at all? Wait, never? Ok, then.

  335. tallyHO
    February 1st, 2013 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#319):
    That’s character’s name escapes me.

    But, yeah, the guy with the pencil-thin mustache in the Slylock strip is the cockroach of that skewed animal kingdom.

    What I wrote earlier…ug…
    It should have been funnier.

  336. tallyHO
    February 1st, 2013 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Earlier, upthread or yesterday, someone mentioned the roommates in “apt. 3G”
    Unless I am wrong, this entire rescue by Bond James Bond is happening on Christmas morning.

    Luann and Tommy are both out of town, unlike that lame-o Margo–who wanted to parrrrty. Party to her doom!

    In Friday’s A3G:
    We need a hero. Why not make it two?
    If we had heroes what would they not do?

    In Friday’s Mary Worth:
    Oh. My. God!
    No one is dead yet!
    (don’t read it if you value your sanity. it is too late for me.)

    In Friday’s Mark Trail:
    “I’d like to cover up the cooler filled with giant, farm raised bass and stow my partner Cletus’ SCUBA gear in the hideyhole spot before you start with the clickity-click, Trail!”

    (Rod Bassy, sweat shooting from his brow like buckshot, looks into the sky and thinks: “Geez, I hope them ducks aren’t onto my scheme!”
    Duck says, “Quack!”)

    In Friday’s Dick Tracy:

    Correction: She wasn’t afraid of graveyards until the thing that happened that made her afraid of graveyards.

    In Friday’s Dennis the Gossipy Menace:

    “Oh do tell!
    We all know your husband makes a fortune off of selling my dad the taaaackiest sports jackets!”

  337. Chip Whittle
    February 1st, 2013 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    @LurkerMan (#334):

    When was the last time a Dick Tracy writer played baseball in cold weather? Or at all? Wait, never? Ok, then.

    Actually, baseball in the winter, on ice, was a popular spinoff pastime in the 1860′s and 1870′s, because apparently everybody was really nuts back then. But the difficulties of stopping quickly while ice skating is why baseball today allows you to overrun first base. You can’t overrun second or third, though, as a compromise between the traditional stop-on-the-base and the ice baseball go-ahead-and-overrun necessity. Also, I did not make that up.

  338. tallyHO
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#337):
    Well, it was before TV was invented and people did drink a lot back then. So, yeah. Why not play ice-ball?

  339. Aviatrix
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#322): Do you wear the hipster glasses, and black clothing?

    At any rate, I’ll bet if McE or any of your choices wanted to show a car key being thrown irretrievably into a body of water, they’d manage something readers wouldn’t mistake for a puddle or ditch for two or three days running. Or is Spider-Man trying to make its eponymous hero look smart and industrious by depicting others unable to reclaim a car key from a puddle?

  340. Name
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    In Thursday’s Hi and Lois, CIA appears on Ditto’s block. A hidden message?

  341. tallyHO
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#339):

    Wow.
    I just read Spi-der Dumbman.
    A while ago, I jokingly wrote that he should choose his victories wisely.
    Wow. He can’t beat an arch-villain or a clown villain without the intervention of the police and a convenient elephant but he can take out a car driving crook.

    Wow. Keep it real tough, Spidey.

  342. Droopy Says
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#302): Baux Haus was great. “Boris Karloff’s Dead” is a classic.

    Spiderdick: What’s going to feel even better is when the Amazing Muggerman finds his keys, then comes after Parker at a hundred MPH. As for that lame-ass comeback, take a hike!

    Flunky: Stroke Guy will have to talk to that harridan every day? The only way that will help him is if his wife gets so angry about her lack of a life that she has a stroke of her own.

    Family Circus: Daddy will start going to the gym as soon as he recovers from that small yet significant (and sadly delayed) bit of outpatient surgery.

    Mary Mirthless: Look, it’s Mary as St. Francis of Asinine!

    Mock Travail: It’s so appropriate that the ducks speak for Rod Bassy, because this sory is for the birds.

    Phantom: Keep talking, Twitchy Desk Jockey, you can drag this out until Walker needs to go home for dinner.

    Pluggers: Significantly, Pluggers never complain about their morbid obesity.

  343. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Crap! Now I feel like Brooke McEldowney’s public defender, although my “defense” was only that he’s a talented artist without good taste or a sound mind. Having checked the comics referenced by the Pastor and Rana, my response (self-edited because I’m on a t-break and my mood is, uh, not what I’d like) is only de gustibus non est disputandum. With the exception of the Suburbia one (which looks to me like a leprous Dr. Seuss) none were as grotesque as Pibgorn, but then none had the fluid grace that I like in McE’s drawings.

  344. Droopy Says
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#339): You’d think that Spiderdick would have used his strength to hurl those keys for a mile. If that really is a stream, the Amazing Muggerman should be able to spot the key in a moment. Even if it’s really a muddy puddle, a few minutes of groping should let him find the key.

  345. Droopy Says
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#343): McEch can draw quite well, and he can always express what he’s feeling. The former is good; the latter is often nauseating. He really should stick to Solange.

  346. Dale
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Does MARK TRAIL really believe that reader interest bit or is it just a lame excuse to snoop? Bassy seems dumb enough to believe it. Otherwise his response would be something like, “You got to be bleeping bleeping me!” or “You are a very stupid man.”

    I read a lot of articles by Jason Lucas. Never did I wonder what was in the back of his car. But those were simpler times. His car was probably a station wagon or a horse.

  347. Aviatrix
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    BC: A few weeks late, but funny. Especially as the blades are attached to the soles of his bare feet. And on the subject of winter sports…

    @LurkerMan (#334): I don’t play baseball, but I’ve played hockey. Why is it that much colder to hit a baseball than to hit a hockey puck? The hockey gloves look really thick, but mine at least were really only padded on the backs and almost worn through at the palms.

    MW: Called it! John is sneaking his Mother Mary figurine onto the cake. But now I fear he’s going to propose marriage.

    MT: Today’s conversation would sound plausible if two days of bizarre paranoia hadn’t preceded it, and were it not for the creepily colour-reversed mallards supplying half the dialogue.

  348. bats :[
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    And if I’ve learned anything today, it’s TIP YOUR WAITRESS. ;)

  349. Aviatrix
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#346): I can see it being relevant. Maybe it won’t make the final cut, but if he’s doing a profile that lets armchair fishermen put themselves in the shoes of the great Rod Bassy, then taking a peek at the fancy equipment in his custom made van could be part of the fun. They’ll let the ducks tidy it up a bit first, of course.

  350. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#343): I have to admit that part of my irritation with McE and his comics is that it’s clear he is capable of good, even great work – he has the necessary artistic skills, and when he’s edited and focused, his stories are interesting and quirky (if you look at Pibgorn from about five or ten years ago, you’ll see what I mean). The problem is that he’s a guy who can turn out intelligent, witty, and well-drawn comics… but he’s been sliding into self-parody in a way that’s often as much sad as it is pervy and creepy.

    If he were merely a hack I’d just shrug. It’s the failure to live up to his potential that I find most frustrating about the guy and his two strips. They all could be so, so much more… and they’re not.

  351. Baka Gaijin
    February 1st, 2013 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#241): I’ll try that next time I’m at the Louvre. Watch for me on CNN in their “International Incidents” segement.

    @Alison (#245): Let’s flesh out your timeline a little.
    1. Today (Friday) is prejudging; Mr. Dill’s anxiety sweat alone solves the southern California drought.
    2. Tomorrow they win. Mr. Dill hugs Mary in an inappropriate way but she doesn’t notice due to the endorphins released by the smug happiness that her cake is better than everyone else.
    3. Next Week: Mary bloviating to Toby about how to be a good winner while walking on a path; following week, same topic with Dr. Jeff and the shape-shifting couch at home; the third week Mary cornering someone at the SantaRoyMart in the adult diaper section, stealth bragging about winning cake contests.
    4. Fourth Week: (not on your schedule) Scene inside Charley Smith’s apartment, TV on and garish pink cake being squashed under a gigantic woman’s ass.http://joshreads.com/?p=16166#comment-1388476

  352. Dale
    February 1st, 2013 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#349):

    The van looks like a piece of junk that needs washed (that’s how they talk in Pittsburgh).
    Actual travel equipment: mattress and ice chest.
    No reason for a fancy array of fishing gear except in his tackle box. The top layer hides the bottles of rotenone and curare.

  353. Baka Gaijin
    February 1st, 2013 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#307): “Licking a Ziggy” is what the girls who “go roadside” refuse to do.

    @Calico (#324): Even Oedipus is getting creeped out.

  354. JudgeDeadd
    February 1st, 2013 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: At first, I thought the ball actually flied so fast that it killed someone inside the building and instantly stripped all the flesh off their bones.

  355. The Doctor
    February 1st, 2013 at 4:24 am [Reply]

    Josh, check the H&J you posted. It’s giving me deja vu, I think it’s a rerun. I even remember that you made a similar joke about asking her to turn off the lamp instead of reaching over her. And we wonder why the newspaper comics are failing…

  356. Ratiocinator
    February 1st, 2013 at 6:21 am [Reply]

    @The Doctor (#355): Turns out that you’re right.

  357. gleeb
    February 1st, 2013 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    3-G: Well, clearly not, since you two at least, are on the top floor of this building.

    ‘shaft: On the way out, he’s gonna kill Keesterman’s dog, too. Christ, what an as= uh, I mean, and it’s funny!

    ‘bean: Now all the years of resentment that Batiuk never ever alluded to before last week will have their vengeance.

    A&J: Weak. He offers up a piece comix history, but where’s the sneering contempt for hidebound literalists?

    Dick: Bones in a boneyard! Who’d have thunk it?

    Mary: Yes, it’s a story of fondant and romance, which will inevitably end in John Dill driving off a cliff, drunk on vanilla extract.

    Rex: Another day, another nose to look up into.

  358. gojira
    February 1st, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    S-M : I’m no gun expert, but wouldn’t the gun still be functional even with the barrel torn off? If someone tore and shredded my gun barrel, I would pull the trigger for all its worth, to try and keep him from tearing and shredding me. Actually, since Peter dozed off and James Gandolfini drove to a deserted side road to rob him and he wouldn’t have the slightest idea where he’s at, wouldn’t he need to hit Google way before that guy? Oh, well, I still like this better than the Spid-Octopus travesty they’re doing in the comic book.

    Mary Wroth : Okay, they’re going through the tedious process of assembling a cake in a timed situation in front of an audience that obviously wants to catch up on its Zs. Would you still take the extra half-hour or so to mold a recognizable Pepto Bismol Mary from scratch? Oh, well, that last panel still gave me the best laugh I’ve had in a while.

  359. blammers66
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