Main content:

“How badly burned are her hands? Can they still strangle?”

Hi and Lois, 2/11/13

You might think Hi and Lois’s art is simplistic, but it can really convey a lot of emotional depth. For instance, panel two shows just what a crushing psychic burden it is for Hi to even consider caring about other people’s family relationships or personal lives. And panel three shows Lois’s numb horror at the emotional desert her husband seems happy to live in.

Apartment 3-G, 2/11/13

“It’s me, Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it. You know I’ve been waiting for years for Margo to finally die and set me free of her tyranny! Is she conscious? Can I finally tell her what I really think about her without fear of retribution?”

Pluggers, 2/11/13

When pluggers duct-tape cardboard sheets over all the windows, they say it’s so the gummint mind-control rays can’t get in, but really they’re just sick of seeing how filthy their house is.

337 responses to ““How badly burned are her hands? Can they still strangle?””

  1. Dartpaw86
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    “A plugger needs to the sun to see, since hell they’re not paying the electrical fee”

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Earl Houndtooth’s wife keeps house like they were living in a furshlugginer pigsty chicken coop.

    Moral: You can take the chicken out of the barnyard, but you can’t take the barnyard out of the chicken.

    @Norm (#y231): How do you come up behind someone in a car and run them off the LEFT side of the road?

    Bob Weber Jr. has been dropping subtle hints for awhile that Shylock Fox takes place in a post-apocalyptic England, and this just cinches it.

  3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    MT: I think I know Rod Bassy’s secret to winning fishing tournaments: He’s the only one who actually goes out on the lake.

    A3G: Wow, that’s some misleading sugarcoating there! Version 1: “She’ll be fine.” Version 2: “She’s a goner.”

  4. Dartpaw86
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2):

    Makes sense. How many “Queens and Counts” live in America?

  5. KreatureFeatures
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark is so jealous of Rod Bassy, it’s pathetic. Hey Trail, stop hounding the guy, and take your son fishing. Nobody wants your stupid bass fishing exposé.

  6. pugfuggly
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    H&L “He told me that he cured his psychotic urge to slice, but I felt it would be better if I didn’t ask if his family made it through the ‘adjustment period’”

    A3G Erm, Tommie? I’m pretty sure that is Margo right there, in the nurse’s outfit. Maybe she’s playing a prank on you, or maybe it’s just that her demonic spirit has taken on a new host body?

    Pluggers who live above the 60th parallel have incredibly filthy homes…

  7. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: Good news: no more “long hair is inconvenient” strips, apparently. Bad news: a character in this strip is strange enough that the sight of a woman’s bare neck arouses him to the point of paralysis.

    ASM: DAREDEVIL: “Oh lord, it’s that jerk Parker! And I can’t just pretend I don’t hear him and try to ditch him, because he knows I have enhanced hearing and he’d see right through me, even as stupid as he is! Sometimes I really friggin’ hate my powers…”

    Luann: She keeps asking if it’s a ring. That is the joke.

    RMMD: JUNE: “Rex is having a really good day, which is why he was acting like an actual considerate human being! He almost never does that, you know. We should all enjoy it while we can, because he’ll be as dickish as ever tomorrow.”

  8. wossname
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Sly – Count Weirdly is on his way to the Vatican! Having just learned that Pope Benedict is retiring, he plans to rig the voting for the next pope and get his candidate elected. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you His Holiness, Pope Reeky Rat XII.

    A3G – Not that I’m not concerned about Margo’s health *yawn*, but I wish we’d get to the part where they figure out that Evan planted the bomb that started the fire.

  9. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#4): Does Weirdly count? (Pun not intended, but not shied away from either.)

  10. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Credit where it’s due department: Agnes made me laugh out loud today.

  11. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#7):

    9CL – You wonder how much of Amos’ typical day is spend in a fugue state, set off by a glimpse of Edda’s elbow or the sound of her sneezing. I wonder if it ever happens while he is driving or walking down the stairs?

    I also have to assume that he has a closet full of boxes of her hair and toenail clippings.

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    There could be tissue damage. It seems a box of Kleenex® brand lavender-scented facial tissue fell on Margo’s head, and the box is currently stuck to her badly burned scalp. On the plus side, however, she smells HEAVENLY!

  13. LP2004
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#8): Re: Sly – the real news coming out of that election will be the exposure of the centuries-old conspiracy to hide all evidence of Popes Reeky Rat I through XI.

  14. S. Stout
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    H&L: In just about every strip featuring Hi and Lois, you could have one extra panel where Lois says she wants a divorce and it wouldn’t skip a beat.

    A3G: “There’s tissue damage so we’re going to have to amputate with a hacksaw. Nothing modern is allowed in this hospital, hence my nursing cap and hairstyle.”

    Luann: Oh Brad, if you think a ring from Walmart and an “exquisite” V-day card will get you sex…well it will, because Evans loves to make us squirm.

  15. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G:

    “It’s ME, Claire!”

    “And you are…. ?”

  16. Revenge4Aldo
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MW Considering that the judging table looks like it’s only big enough for one cake, maybe transporting the cake was the most important part of the competition.

  17. Chareth Cutestory
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: The art details really stand out in this panel! For instance, look at the scratch marks on the door left by a pet anxiously wanting to get outside. Wait, oh no, Pluggers is a topsy turvy anthropomorphic animal world… their PETS are PEOPLE!!

  18. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#4): How many Queens and Counts live in America?

    Dairy Queen.
    Count Chocula.
    Count Count from Sesame Street.
    Queen Latifah.

  19. Dagger33
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Don’t worry, Tommie. Even if Margo can’t speak anymore she’ll find some way to put you down. Quote marks, probably.

  20. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    FC-When they put you in the grave.

    JP-”Look at how high and firm and pert my breasts are. I could rest this coffee mug on them as easily as I could rest it on the table.”

    MW-The judges are wondering why they made their cake all pink.

    FW-I told her to bring me back some beads.

    A3G-”She inhaled a lot of pink smoke. We’re waiting for her to come down to see how much damage has been done.”

  21. RavenHawk
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MW: Apparently, Mary & John have some type of “shining” thing going on.

    A3G: “Come on everybody. Do the Duck Face!!”

  22. LP2004
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Have you called her next of kin?”
    “Well, I was about to, but the custodians wouldn’t let me finish drawing the pentagram…”

  23. pugfuggly
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    FW Ha ha, so it turns out that yesterday’s depressing silent vignette was the end of that particular plotline. No resolution, no lesson, just a painful end of life for an old man who’s family won’t even remember him fondly, if they remember him at all. Having squeezed all the misery out of an old man in a wheelchair, we now turn to pizza-scarfing comic-book man, who’s setting the stage for a stroke of his own. Sunrise, sunset….

    MT I’m starting to get the feeling that the Jackelrod has sold out and is just running an infomercial for his very own Rod Bassy® Lure (as seen in Mark Trail!). This plot will end with Mark punching a Rapala Crank lure in the face and then spending Sunday’s strip going over how the Rod Bassy® Lure is tailored to meet the desires of even the most discerning largemouth bass.

    MW After being exposed to a radioactive pink icing, Mary and her cake-decorating pal John Dill develop the superpower of telepathy! Now, as Meddle Ma’am and Cake-Boy, the wander the streets of Santa Royale at Night, lifting and carrying cakes as they come across them and spreading crusty aphorisms with their minds!

  24. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    A3G: “She inhaled a lot of smoke. But she’s young. She’ll learn that you’ve got to let it out, then pass the joint to the next person.”

    Pluggers: “When the sun shine through the kitchen door…” What the heck language is that? Has Mary Worth started quoting Albert Camus as translated into the Bandar tongue?

  25. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    It’s like Spring Break for band directors. They drink, flirt, get topless, have rowdy threesomes in dirty hotel rooms, wake up in parking lots, yet I’m stuck here attempting suicide by shitty pizza. Can I have another, with extra carcinogens?

  26. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#11):

    I also have to assume that he has a closet full of boxes of her hair and toenail clippings.

    *shudders*

  27. Shran
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    H&L: “Who cares if he has kids, dinner isn’t going to make itself you know!”

  28. pugfuggly
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#24):

    re:pluggers If Joni Mitchell were to write a song about pluggers, I’m pretty sure that would be the opening line.

  29. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    SM: Hey DD, wait up!

    DD: I HATE when they call me that. Just because it’s on my outfit, right? Does everyone go around calling Superman “S”? Do they??

  30. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Hi/Lo — All I’m getting from the Monday strip is that Hi’s friend (a raging alcoholic he calls “Bob”) took the Slice cure. Like we’re supposed to believe Thirsty Thurston Bob would ever allow so much as a single drop of sodey pop
    to touch his blubbery lips:

    http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles17/977838/projects/3937257/a0b5b9f293d3d9686a2a68b47ff4cf60.jpg

  31. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    So is Daredevil flying with his magic nunchucks? They can’t be long enough to span from building to building, they don’t grab a hold of anything, and there really aren’t enough densely spaced skyscrapers in that area to provide a route from A to B for either of them. Magic flying nunchucks.

  32. Revenge4Aldo
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#21): It’s just that John is Mary’s Imzadi.

  33. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#8): I was gonna say: Funny-looking hat, check. Dress, check. Slightly creepy, check. Weirdly’s definitely on his way to Rome for the the papal election.

  34. netbard
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    A3G: So.. lightly pushing the nurse turns a good prognosis into “the patient is going to die”? Remind me to never ask my doctors questions ever again.

  35. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Luann – Ah, the circle of life. One plot line ends, and we rejoice. “Anything but that!”. Then, the next one begins, and we lament. “Anything but this!”

    FW- Harry and Harriette? I left them off my list last week of Batty’s couples who look identical! Isn’t she another lumpy, personality-free doormat who exists only as a straight man for Harry’s wordplay? I smell band camp three-way!

    Wait, no, I don’t smell anything, it’s just the stroke coming on.

  36. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    AD: speaking of Journey. . . .

    HotC: yes, yes I do.

    Lio: all you need is club, club, all you need is club.

    SBp: goes Pibgorn.

    JUMBLE: rope swinging at 8 months along probably isn’t the best thing to be doing.

    RwO: NARF!!!

    SFx: Count Weirdly takes over as Pope!

  37. sporknpork
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure that’s not dirt but tears in the linoleum where that chicken-man-beast spent all night scratching the ground for worms in a desperate, Ambien-induced attempt at late-night binge eating.

  38. WeatherServo9
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Insert joke RE the Pope, Mary Worth, abdication and infallibility here.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .just a fantasy. (can you live this fantasy life?)

  40. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#18):

    Not to mention the incomparable detective Ellery Queen. (Or his distant relative Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow!)

  41. teenchy
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#11): I didn’t think Creatures of Pure Art needed to drive; they just floated down concrete canyons, across pastures, and atop Bösendorfers.

  42. LP2004
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    A3G:Tommie: “It’s ME, Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it.”

    Claire: “Okay, then – she’s been horribly burned, she faces months of recovery in agonizing pain, begging for the sweet release of death, and even after that, she’ll need years of reconstructive surgery before she’ll dare to venture out in public again. Are you happy now?”

    Tom Batiuk: “Yes! Yes!, OH, YES!!!”

  43. wossname
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#10): I laughed at Agnes too, after reading it three times in “Do they really mean what I think they mean?” mode.

    @Hogenmogen (#18): Queen Bee in A3G.

  44. Revenge4Aldo
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    A3G “She’ll make a full recovery” “Don’t sugarcoat it.” “She’s been dead for four hours now. We’ve already divided up her possessions and are taking turns ‘Weekend at Bernies’ing’ the body”

  45. nescio
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: “It’s me Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it!”
    “Sorry, Tommie, I don’t know how to blandcoat something.

  46. Marc
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    9CL- Add back of the neck to the list of Brooke’s bizarre fetishes.

    A3G- This is all taking place in the twilight zone right? I mean I can’t think of any other explanation for all of this.

    Mark Trail- So Rod Bassey wins because he is resourceful. And because of all his success, he is very confident. Well this is the least villainous MT antagonist ever.

    Mary Worth- I can’t help but think that this would be much funnier if they vocalized every thought like in Mark Trail. That would certainly make things awkward.

    Funky- So the one armed bandit is having a threesome with two overweight and deaf senior citizens, and the creepy pedophile is jealous. What, are Owen the Idiot and his dweeb friend not biting anymore.

    Luann- Settle down, it’s not a ring. That would mean plot advancement, and everyone knows that’s forbidden in the world of Evans.

  47. Kristian
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: The last person who called Margo any kind of kin lived to regret it.

    Hi and Lois: Reading “Cured” plus “Slice,” I thought this was about luncheon meats. Which provides the answer about Debby and the kids: “They’re delicious”.

    @Chareth Cutestory (#17): In Plugger world, Soylent Green was a documentary.

  48. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Aldo Nova, straight from the age of big hair and leopard print spandex pants! Awesome!

  49. sporknpork
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Kristian (#47): I thought they made a typo about the guy curing his lice, a particularly difficult battle with kids in the house.

  50. wossname
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#13): Actually let me amend that. It’s the former Reeky Cardinal Rat, henceforth to be known as Pope Malodorus I.

  51. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    otters!!!

    it’s not wise to laff at kittehs.

    new, from Banzai Labs.

    ring ring.

    a certain long-eared samurai. (win)

    ikkle bebbeh otter. *mush*

    TDP is a corgi. ^. .V

    ikkle corgi. V. . V *brainmush*

  52. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: Did she say anything about witnessing ghostly images of famous painters? No? She totally missed out.

  53. TheDiva
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: Does Margo have next of kin? I’d assumed she spang forth fully grown where the blood of Kronos spattered on the Earth.

    Pluggers: Well, maybe if you didn’t shit on the floor….

  54. Meg
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Pluggers know that subject-verb agreement is only for smug elitists with their fancy “basic education.”

  55. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW judges: Yes, you made use great of your theme “Homage to Mature”. That figure is certainly the most “mature” woman I’ve ever seen. I can almost envision the wrinkles in that pink marzipan, the sagging and failing body parts, the loss of bowel control…

    Mary: Ahem! The theme is -

    John: Mature! Yes! Yes indeed! *shut UP, Mary!*

  56. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    This week on The Amazing Spider-Man: Peter Parker tagging along behind DareDevil saying “Hey, wait up! Wait up! Can I tag along with you, huh huh, can I?”

    Apt. 3-G: Don’t trust her, Tommie! Judging by the lips on display in panel two, Claire is a secret clown-nurse, and is in the process of setting up an elaborate joke that will result in you and Margo getting dosed with a seltzer bottle.

    Archie: Since Archie is coming up behind[*] Jughead, wouldn’t he have seen the books on his friend’s back? I have to conclude the ALGJU3000 doesn’t quite understand perspective yet.

    Bizarro and Blondie: Heh, indeedy. (That link was in reference to someone declaring, “I pray that the Pope retires to the Netherlands, so we can read about ex-Benedict’s Holland days.”)

    9 Chickweed Lane: There’s a piano recital nearly every day in this strip. I refuse to believe that the same three people could perform day after day, even in New York City, especially with boners in their pockets.

    Cow and Boy: Dunno about anyone else, but this strip was available for me for about three days after it stopped running in the papers, and now it doesn’t update on Darkgate. Lousy free service, anyway.

    Mark Trail: The boat and the ducks agree: Mark should really use a light-up Rusty if he wants to compete with Rod.

    Nancy: This is a true story: back in 1920-something, my grandfather met my grandmother at a dance in Burlington, Iowa. He told her she was the prettiest Danish girl in town (they were both immigrants), and that he was going to marry her. She told him not to be an idiot. Anyhoo, that was the last time today’s punchline was interesting.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: If this story doesn’t result in Honey Boo-Boo (or whatever the hell her name is) putting a cap in Delores’ ass, I’m going to be very disappointed.

    Last but certainly not least, my latest effort in detournment: Judge Parker meets The Mad Yak.

  57. sporknpork
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Are those top cabinets where pluggers keep the flatware?

  58. Kinghasnoclothes
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    H&L: Forget numb horror–how about THUMB horror. The thumb is on the wrong side of Lois’s left hand! Or maybe all that is left on that hand is the thumb. Then they could make jokes about her gripping the golf club.

  59. Greg
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Apt3G: No wonder Margo is in trouble, she’s being attended by a blow-up doll in panel two. Maybe it’s meant as irony? Baffling irony??

  60. LP2004
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#50): Well, rats! (er, so to speak) – Dan Brown was all set to work the ‘Pope Reeky Rat’ conspiracy into his next book.

  61. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Margo’s next of kin? Dios mio! She shall arrive rapidamente! Ella se ejecutará allí ahora! Sí, con medicina de la gypsy stereotype hispanico!

    Yes, and do not forget Margo’s ultra starched white collar father.

  62. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#56): The AJGLU3K hasn’t been informed of backpacks, either. It’s excusable, of course. Backpacks being such a recent invention. When I was going to college, we just stuffed our books down our pants.

  63. Dennis Jimenez
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – We are young – heart ache to heart ache we stand – Love is a battlefield….

    OK, that doesn’t really appy today – or does it….

  64. TheDiva
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: Is there anything Brooke doesn’t find to be a turn-on? How does he go out in public? Strategically held books? Really baggy pants?

    C’shaft: It’s funny, because sushi is raw fish! Totally gross! Tomorrow: what “escargot” really is!

    FW: Add “batching it” to the list of things no real human actually says, but are common vernacular in Funkytown.

    Luann: Didn’t Brad get shot down on a proposal last year? He and Dr. Jeff need to form a support group.

    MW: How hideous are the other cakes if this one is the clear winner?

    SM: “It’s like he’s deliberately avoiding me or something…”

  65. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Pluggers live their lives through creepy rhymes and mnemonics.

  66. casino LF
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: So Evan is a straight-up murderer, huh? At least, attempted. Kudos, did NOT see that coming. Jesus.

    9CL: seriously, what the hell.

  67. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Luann: Yeah, that’s right. Loser Brad is going to marry a woman way out of his league. What have you got? Video chat and please babysit this annoying little shit so Brad can get his freak on. Yeah, 99% of life is what you make of it. So if your life sucks, YOU suck! Ha ha ha! Welcome to Westview, Luann!

  68. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    I think it’s great that at Mary Worth’s advanced age, she can still reach all the way around to pat herself on the back.

  69. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64):

    9CL: Is there anything Brooke doesn’t find to be a turn-on? How does he go out in public? Strategically held books? Really baggy pants?

    My theory is that he’s so small nobody notices.

  70. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64): I’ve actually used the expression “batching it”. Until today. I’ll stop, I promise! Scared straight really works!

  71. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#62): You had BOOKS in COLLEGE???!!!

  72. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#69): @TheDiva (#64): If he could get it up (or go out in public), he wouldn’t write this strip. At least not in its present format.

  73. Cloudbuster
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    GT: “It’s not right that you’ll share your cock with your girlfriend, but not your team!”

    RMMD: Calling it: Honey goes homicidal over Rex. Dolores dives in front of June to take a bullet for her. “It’s OK, I was dying of cancer anyway. Your family deserves a chance!” *dies*

  74. NoahSnark
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Plugger feng shui states “the kitchen door should always face north or a broom and effort you must put forth”.

  75. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: Has Lois been using the curtains to measure the kids’ heights? These are desperate times.

  76. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#67): Loser Brad is going to marry a woman way out of his league

    Clearly, this is what we are supposed to assume about the dynamic between Toni and The Wad, what with her prehensile helmet of hair and her beak-lips of sluttiness.

    You find, however, that when you ask yourself “what is someone like her doing going out with someone like Dirk?”, or “why is someone like her settling for someone like Brad?”, there usually is a good answer somewhere. We’ve seen her threaten other women who she feels were mean to Brad. We know that she has this “niece” who she raises as her own, even though the backstory seems pretty sketchy. Brad marrying her would be like buying a new house in Florida … in 2007. It looks good when the market is at a peak, but five years from now it will be run-down, making strange noises, and much more high-maintenance than it initially appeared. And, he will soon discover that other homeowners still stay there whenever he is gone.

  77. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo’s next of kin is her mother, so Tommie needs to bone up on her Cartoon Spanglish.

    MT: To read Mark Trail is to step into the world where the sentence, “Yeah, you just said that,” does not exist.

    FW: Yup, Comic Book John is living it up with two slices of the world’s sickliest pizza. What could be better?

    9CL: I’m a neck fan too, but there comes a point where these two flat out shouldn’t work together so as to avoid ran unprofessionalism.

    Agnes: Ooh, nice throwaway from Trout in the first panel.

    RMMD: “He hasn’t wet himself once today.”

    BB: Man, Lt Peachfuzz is absolutely no good at reading the signs.

    DtM: Why Dennis would associate Chez Wilson with the tourism jingle for Las Vegas is probably something I shouldn’t ponder too much.

    SSmith: Hootin’ Holler is so poor that even money trees in dreams only sprout low quality counterfeit bills.

    S-M: Ah, I see. Daredevil is scheduled to swing into a deathtrap, but he’ll be delayed from it due to Spider-Man asking him a stupid question. So Spidey will save another hero’s life in his characteristic way: inadvertently.

    M-Dawg: Marmaduke loves the smell of ball sack in the morning. It smells like victory.

    SFx: The puzzle is kind of a gimme, but I’m fascinated by the idea of a mad scientist’s condo timeshare. I’ll know I’ve made it if they ever send me an invite.

    Lockhorns: Thanks for the vote of confidence, I guess?

  78. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Ancient plugger secret: “A shadow of a cleaver on the floor means General Tso is at your door.”

  79. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    MT: The plot seems to be that Bassy is only good because his partner Catfish is underwater, hooking fish on the line during the competitions. But if he hooked dead ones, wouldn’t Mark notice, since they’re not wiggling at the end? Does Catfish swim around, catch live ones with his bare hands and hold them tightly while jamming the lure into their mouth? Does Catfish have a bag of live bass that he takes with him and places the lure into so catching them is easy? Where do these bass come from? Does no one notice that Catfish walks away from his car carrying a bag of scuba gear and a fish tank?

  80. Mibbitmaker
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#56): re: 9CL: They definately have boners in their pockets, because I’m certainly not glad to see them.

  81. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: Good to hear that Bob’s mistress is doing OK.

  82. Stroker Ace
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Does Pluggers think that Dirt Devils are evil?

  83. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @casino LF (#66):

    So Evan is a straight-up murderer, huh?

    Maybe now his terrifying aunt will take him off publicity sabotage and put him on wet works.

  84. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    JP:
    Knock knock

    Who’s there?

    Thalia

    Thalia who?

    Thalidamyde.

    Har!

  85. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#82): Cats live in fear of brooms. Maybe chickens do, too.

  86. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#70): @TheDiva (#64):

    FW: Add “batching it” to the list of things no real human actually says, but are common vernacular in Funkytown.

    I’ve heard it at least once before in my life, when my dad used it, and he was born a few years before Batiuk. So it’s something people of that generation and maybe the one that followed said, but not Comic Book John’s, as far as I know. (I’m guessing he’s in his early-to-mid forties.)

  87. Dartpaw86
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9):
    That’s who I was implying ;-)

  88. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#50): Actually let me amend that. It’s the former Reeky Cardinal Rat, henceforth to be known as Pope Malodorus I.

    No. I don’t think that regnal number is correct. Weren’t several of the Renaissance popes Malodorus as well?

  89. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#71): Stone tablets with the occasional papyrus scroll. The amazing thing was that we had pants.

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#56):

    I have to conclude the ALGJU3000 doesn’t quite understand perspective yet.

    Can’t quite get the hang of gravity, either.

  91. Ratiocinator
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#87): Ah yes, sometimes I am dense. >_>

  92. Dartpaw86
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Claire: Margo is perfectly fine but Doctor Andrew Tissue is being throttled and insulted by her as we speak. So he decided he wants to pull the plug, have you called her next of kin?

  93. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MT: I use a Rod Bassey lure that glows in deep water so Catfish can see it ..I mean so THE catfish can see it.. er… I mean the BASS… Hey! Look at those ducks over there Trail!

  94. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Thalia is, of course, Thalia Menninger, played by Tuesday Weld in “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.”

  95. Leo de Janeiro
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: “sweep” = “peck”

  96. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @Leo de Janeiro (#95): And “Oh, dear” = “Buhgawk!”

  97. Hibbleton
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: The nurse who just came from visiting Margo is wearing those plastic lips you get in CPR kits. I thought Margo was only figuratively toxic?

    Pluggers: “When the sun shine through the kitchen door..” I wonder if this was submitted as a “Confucius says” gag?

  98. Mibbitmaker
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    H&L:
    Lois: “Honestly, Hi…”
    Hi: “Hi.”
    Lois: “Hi. Honestly, Hi, golf, golf, golf! It’s like living with a comic strip cartoonist! …A mildly male stereotype comic strip cartoonist.”

    Pluggers: Trixie Flagston, this is your future! (well, except for the being a chicken thing…)

    A3G: Claire just went from Up With People to Funky Winkerbean in nothing flat!
    Well…. except for the flat drawing, flat writing, flat characterization, flat facial expressions……

  99. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#29): Daredevil’s been trying to hide the fact that he’s the allegedly deceased founding bassist of the Ramones.

  100. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog — Don’t get your vowels in an uproar, Karl:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Bleeker/

    Incidentally, February 11, 1938 is when BBC Television produced the first ever science fiction television program, R.U.R. The BBC television version of R.U.R.* was based on a Czech play first produced in 1921 and introduced the word “robot” to the English language (as well as science fiction as a whole).

    Unfortunately, no copies of the 38 minute adaptation are known to exist today.

    *R.U.R. stands for “Rossum’s Universal Robots,” an English phrase used as a subtitle in the Czech original.

  101. AhClem
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#68):

    I think it’s great that at Mary Worth’s advanced age, she can still reach all the way around to pat herself on the back.

    For the sake of everything holy, do not use “reach … around” and “Mary Worth” in the same sentence ever again. Thank you.

  102. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I’m not sugarcoating it! If you want sugarcoating in spades stop in at the Santa Royale Convention Center. Ha! Ha! Seriously,though, its really bad . We’re transferring her to Westview…”

  103. BeanMachine
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    eMail: pluggermail@aol.com – because Pluggers are the only ones still using AOL email addresses. I have to admit, I kind of admire the dedication to consistency. Well played, Pluggers.

  104. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    MT: Now lets move to the really deep water. I’m just going to use this flashlight as a sinker to get er way down there…

  105. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#94): Neddy says that Thalia’s husband is handsome too. Either it’s not Chatworth Osborne, Jr., or money just has that effect on people.

  106. Perky Bird
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    So Rod Bassey claims his secret to winning is just “knowing where the fish are” and using a glow-in-the-dark lure? I was hoping his secret involved him dressing up like a giant sexy lady bass and seductively wriggling his fins to the tune of “Baby Got Back.”

  107. pugfuggly
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    MT ‘Whoops! Sorry Rod, my camera went off accidentally while you were, uh, bending over the side of the boat. I’ll just erase that shot….later….’

    ASM Is Daredevil giving that crowd of onlookers a fascist salute? Well, at least he didn’t call the city ‘Frisco’.

  108. Mibbitmaker
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#100): High holy day for Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy, and Geoff Peterson (my favorite robots, at least).

  109. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#89): Perhaps the Rt. Ven. is suggesting that you are so young as to have only ebooks as texts.

  110. gleeb
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#88): They wanted to Malodorous, but couldn’t get it past the censer.

  111. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#94): Judge Parker: Thalia is, of course, Thalia Menninger, played by Tuesday Weld in “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.”

    I was thinking she was the Queen of Latin Pop:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thal%C3%ADa

    Any reason why a singer/songwriter/author/actress couldn’t be a doctor, too?

  112. Mibbitmaker
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: Everything’s a turn-on with those two (and Brooke)! They won’t stop lusting all over each other until they’re dead. No, scratch that — their corpses will continue on until they’re buried or cremated. No, scratch that……

    BBailey: Lt. Fuzz, ‘Mudgeon.

    Curtis: Even Oedipus is saying, “Give it a rest, you little, insufferable brat! It’s getting too creepy for me!”

    Love is… saving the role playing for later.

  113. pugfuggly
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#108):

    No-one ever remembers poor Cambot.

  114. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    A3G-”I’m not Lu Ann who we have to tiptoe around and use euphemisms and puppets when we try to explain things to her.”

    MT-Those aren’t big fish, Mark, those are big ducks. Can’t you tell the difference? And you call yourself a wildlife person.

    MW-That judge is actually hungry. To get through this competition he smoked some weed before coming over.

    Spiderman-”Oh great it’s Spiderman. I bet I’m going to have to bail his ass out at some point.”

    FC-When you are old enough to know that you’re cold you’ll be burning hot in hell.

  115. Chip
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    OK, so I read Superhero comics, and I’m willing to suspend disbelief a bit to move the story along (hey I believe Spiderman to be a superhero,) but what exactly is Daredevil swinging from? His cane/nunchuck thing isn’t more than 10 feet long, is it? They’re so high above the rooftops, that there CAN’T be light poles, signs or anything to swing from! What the HELL!?

  116. Chip
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m looking forward to either of TWO conclusions to Mary’s cake-baking adventure:

    a: They WIN, and Mary has to fend of his awkward proposal of marriage and the request that the next cake they make together be their wedding cake;

    or

    b: They LOSE, and I get to see Mary make that AWESOME face again as she scowls at the judges!

  117. Chip
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    MT: OK, so I’m a scuba diver, (as I’m sure that’s what ‘Catfish’ is doing- looking for the glowing lure and putting the big fish on the hook that they keep in their van,) but I’ve been over a hundred feet down in both fresh and salt water, and I can tell you that it doesn’t even START to get dark at that depth. So the whole “glow in the dark lure” bit is a bunch of crap.

  118. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#108):

    More R.U.R. trivia: the play’s American premiere was at New York City’s Garrick Theatre in October 1922. It ran 184 performances, a production in which two of the robots were played by Spencer Tracy and Pat O’Brien (making their Broadway debuts).

  119. Uncle Lumpy
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    A3G — I’m on pins and needles waiting for the grand Aunt Cathy / Gabriella smackdown.

  120. Gringo
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Wait, we went from “looking for a good outcome” to “call her next of kin?” in one panel? Didn’t realize this was Westview General Hospital and Crematorium.

  121. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Luann-It’s a ring for TJ. Brand wants to take their relationship to the next level.

  122. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    A3G-Ding dong the witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch.

  123. RavenHawk
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#32):Ah, I see. It all makes sense now.

  124. Cloudbuster
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#117): But if you’re in pretty shallow water near a silty bottom, like a catfish, and you stir up the silt, you can pretty quickly get to where you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

  125. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Bob Stewart practiced his slicing on Debby and the kids.

  126. Gringo
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Luann: If there is a ring in that box, it’s gotta be one of those giveaways that come with the kids’ meal at Weenie World, right?

  127. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    MW “That judge seems pleased…”
    No, John, you can’t count on appearances. Judges are like babies; they could be pleased, or it could just be gas.

  128. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G — A lot of smoke? A lot? Apparently Margo was carried to a real fire and left there for a while after she was taken out of the vaguely interesting but totally unthreatening wafting-wisps-of-burning-incense situation in A3G.

  129. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#126):

    Luann: If there is a ring in that box, it’s gotta be one of those giveaways that come with the kids’ meal at Weenie World, right?

    Yes. A “weenie ring.”

  130. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    MT — “We giant waterfowl may be tragic victims of color monkeys who don’t know what ducks look like, but at least we can spot the air bubbles from that scuba dude down there, unlike that alleged-human idiot who calls himself an outdoor writer.”

  131. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#117): Is it possible that Catfish needs to see the glow in the dark lure in order to make sure that he’s hooking the fish on the right lure, and not the competitors’ lures?

    And, dark or not, have you ever gone looking for a tiny plastic thing in a lake of that size?

  132. Uncle Lumpy
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#129):

    A “weenie ring.”

    B-wad has to keep replacing his ’cause they fall off.

  133. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — Thanks for supplying the enthused curiosity, Luann, because a lot of us readers don’t care.

  134. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    Tommie: Don’t sugarcoat it, Claire, meaning I want you to violate HIPAA for me.

    Claire: Hipaa- – potamus? Hipaa and groovy? Hipaa hippa hooray?

    Percival Dunwoody, idiot time traveler from 1909: Tommie, this is 1964, HIPAA won’t become law for 30 years! Hey, wanna jump one week into the future so you can get 50% off Valentine’s Day cards?

  135. Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann. Wait. Typically, Toni says Shannon’s around because she’s babysitting her “niece.” Now she needs a babysitter to watch the kid? How dense are these people?

  136. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “It’s me, Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it. I want a chocolate shell around a nougatty center!”

  137. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#117): Also, aren’t largemouth bass usually shallow water fish? I mean, is this a bass tournament or a lake trout tournament? And if the water is shallow enough for bass won’t Catfish’s bubbles be clearly evident? Maybe Catfish has a Rod Bassy Brand Helium Rebreather Scuba Kit?

  138. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: Yeah Trail, I’m using my glow in the dark Rod Bassy lure. Its called the “BassWiper”!

  139. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#67):

    Luann: Yeah, that’s right. Loser Brad is going to marry a woman way out of his league.

    Out of his league… out of his… hmmm… that wouldn’t be the League of Childish Nebbishes vs. the League of Incestuous Cockteasers, would it?

  140. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#138): BWAHAHAHA!

  141. Marc
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    FW- Comic Book John is batching up with a couple slices of za. Next stop, the vendos!

    Luann- Knowing Greg Evans, it might be a ring, but it’s probably a purity ring. Symbolizing that no one in this strip will ever have sex. Ever.

  142. Dale
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2):

    SLYLOCK – left side

    People run/get run off on the right. They overcorrect and end up on the left.
    On a good day, they park in someone’s front yard.
    Not the very goodest day, they hit a mailbox.
    Bad day – oncoming traffic. Quite common.

  143. Gringo
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: How surprised will anyone be if Catfish’s full name turns out to be Lennay Kekua? And Rod Bassy is really Ronnie Tuiasosopo?

  144. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#116):

    They WIN, and Mary has to fend of his awkward proposal of marriage and the request that the next cake they make together be their wedding cake.

    John Dill is too cheap for that! That pink pillar of pulchritude is the wedding cake. He’s going to propose and expect Mary to marry him on the spot, a la Gina and Bobby. (By California state law, cake design competition judges are permitted to officiate at contestants’ weddings.)

  145. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    MT: Hey, Rod, what are all those bubbles in the water?

    Bassy: Fish farts.

    MT: There certainly are a lot of bubbles.

    Bassy: The bass pass gas from their ass en masse. Satisfied?

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#136): Claire plays for the other team, so a better question might be:
    “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”

    @Dale (#142): Um, okay, but what did you think about Monday’s Pluggers?

  147. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#31):

    I was wondering about that, too.

    It still makes more sense than if he were in a cross-legged sitting position, moving from building to building all by the power of skillfully using Magic Oars.

    //he’s a daredev-il!

  148. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#144): No room for a groom figurine on top. Oh well. The statue of St. Mary will just have to do for both of them.

  149. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#137): In the long extensive history of cheating at bass tournaments, no one has ever cheated this stupidly and elaborately before. With any luck, Rod Bassy and Catfish will get a reality show out of it.

  150. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#145): Marvelous!

  151. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#141):

    Luann- Knowing Greg Evans, it might be a ring, but it’s probably a purity ring. Symbolizing that no one in this strip will ever have sex. Ever.

    We need to be grateful for the small things. Consider that the last time someone had sex in this strip, they produced Shannon.

  152. comcis fan
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Nurse Claire might have made a smoother transition from the “looking for a good outcome” sugarlying to the “have you called her next of kin” reality. Like, “We’re looking for a good outcome but her cat’s stuck on the roof, with lung damage.”

  153. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#126): it’s gotta be one of those giveaways that come with the kids’ meal at Weenie World, right?

    Is there a bandage on his finger from when Shannon bit him as he tried to snatch the ring away from her? I’m waiting for TJ to indignantly insist that “you can’t take away a child’s plastic ring once she sees it! You are evil!”, then go deep undercover as Brad’s Best Man until he can come up with an iPhone recording of Toni saying “I cheat. But I cheat smart! This is Toni Daytona”.

    @Marc (#141):

    My guess is that Toni will turn down B-Wad again, leading to some minor questioning of the relationship before the Stasis Quo is once more reaffirmed.

  154. Ian Beste
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#4): Don’t forget Duke of Ellington, Count of Basie and Earl of Hines.

  155. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-Jeez — Claire appears to be a non-Caucasian wearing ghastly whiteface makeup, so I assume Tommie is trying (and failing!) to make a racially insensitive “white chocolate” joke.

  156. Ian Beste
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#143): Good one. Got samoa?

  157. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#111): “Any reason why a singer/songwriter/author/actress couldn’t be a doctor, too?”

    it’s a requirement for The Hong Kong Cavaliers.

  158. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#154): Not to mention “Earl of Sandwich” — one of my favorite eateries here in town.

  159. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64):

    MW: How hideous are the other cakes if this one is the clear winner?

    Well, there’s that one on the floor. But I wouldn’t count it out just yet.

  160. Not-Pope Dan
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#70): Another true story: my brothers (ages 43 and 50) have been living together for over a decade. Now the older brother is getting married to a woman from Peru and the women in the family have decided that they’re going to throw her a shower before she even arrives in the nation to de-bachelorize their duplex.

  161. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119): Or Aunt Cathy vs. pistol-packin’ Roberta from the loony bin. Add Greg “James Bond” Cooper with a fire ax, and you’ve got a three-way show-down worthy of Eastwood, Wallach, and Van Cleef!

  162. terrapin
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    MT: So the theory here is that Catfish is scuba diving deep in the lake, hooking pre-caught bass onto Bassy’s line, and then swimming after the boat to the next ‘hot spot’ and repeating the process? That…that’s a lot of trouble to go through to win a bass fishing tournament. The prize must be huge! Like…72 virgins huge!

  163. Not-Pope Dan
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#154): And Prince…of Purple, I guess?

  164. Pope Ramalamadingdong
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Hey guys, I’m looking for a new gig. Got any insight?
    BTW, I thought “Leo de Janeiro” was a cool nom de plume. Too late to snag it. . .

  165. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Well now I’ve seen everything!

    Snuffy Smif is wearing a sock on his head! You would think only a drunken cuss would choose that kind of nightcap!

  166. yaoi huntress earth
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#112): It’s going to be interesting when Barry gets older and the running to mommy stops getting cute.

  167. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#162): Bass-tournament first prizes are often boats. I’m pretty sure Mark would pick a boat over your alternative.

  168. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Now that is just Weird!

    So, Count Weirdly is on his way to Vatican City? On this day of days?

    Dude’s in control of everything?

    All Hail Count Weirdly!

    We neglected worshipping you and your mighty flying Orca Death Plane!

    Go, Count Weirdly!
    Go, Count Weirdly!
    Go, Count Weirdly!
    Gooooooooooooooo!

    Slylock is out of luck today! This is Weirdly’s world. He just lives in it!

  169. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#165): Bananas are my preferred nightcap. Unfortunately, the darn things keep falling off my head.

  170. Hyhybt
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    I’m sure the name is a coincidence, but when I saw the first panel of today’s Hi and Lois, my first thought was “that’s strange, I thought he died a few months back.”

  171. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    A & J — I know I’m not the only one who wishes branches that small could support feeders that large, but they can’t. Curse you, laws of physics.

  172. tb4000
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Relax, I know how much you and Nancy would prefer Brad be giving that ring to you, but that ship has sailed.

  173. Mibbitmaker
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#166): “MAAAAA!!! My girlfriend got pregnant by me for no reason!!!”

  174. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64):
    Exactly!
    @Hogenmogen (#70):
    Whaaaa?!?
    @Ratiocinator (#86):
    Whatchutalkinbout, Ratiocinator?

    The phrase “batching it” sounds like it has a negative connotation. I’m sure upon hearing it, it would throw most people off guard. It “sounds” far too similar to “catching it”. And, then there’s the other “b” word…

    I don’t like it. No, sir! Using the phrase is like trying to squeeze Maxwell the Yellow Mouse Fellow* through a doctor’s office without the physician wondering if Max’s name was “Jaundice Mouse”.

    *which is likely the reason why Cassandra and Slylock forego chomping on the little, bowler hat wearing guy, Dr. Maxwell T. Ratson, sidekick to The Great Slylock Fox!

  175. Yorkshire Shrug
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#62):

    ” When I was going to college, we just stuffed our books down our pants.”

    Luxury, luxury! You had pants! And books! I used to have to take notes by chiseling runes onto rocks, and then stuff the rocks in my breechcloth!

  176. Duck Season! Shrug Season!
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#115):

    “what exactly is Daredevil swinging from? His cane/nunchuck thing isn’t more than 10 feet long, is it? They’re so high above the rooftops, that there CAN’T be light poles, signs or anything to swing from!”

    *************

    Daredevil is swinging from some airborn giant ducks, who got bored hanging around Lost Forest and went off to see if San Francisco was more the sort of place for size-queen, swinging birds. (Lots of assless chirps out there.)

    The giant ducks who weren’t in to That Sort of Thing (NTTAWWT) moved to the Twin Cities and hang out at the Mallard of America.

  177. casino LF
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#83): Alas, he botched it! Aunt Cathy will mock him soundly, no doubt.

  178. Shrug, Disappearing in a Time Paradox
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#141):

    “Luann- Knowing Greg Evans, it might be a ring, but it’s probably a purity ring. Symbolizing that no one in this strip will ever have sex. Ever.”

    If only it could be made retroactive.

  179. Lumaca Morente
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#143): That would be a sweet little story. Rod Bassey really thinks he is the ‘all that’ of bass fishing when in actuality, tiny, elf-like Catfish is showing his faithful love by swimming under the boat hooking bass on his adored one’s line. Awwwww.

  180. Dave Dahl
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#16) – Perhaps it’s a race? That would explain a lot, sort of.

  181. Lumaca Morente
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Not-Pope Dan (#160): I’m glad you recognize, Father, that ashes are an imposition.

  182. Shrug, Easing Into It
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @comcis fan (#152):

    Wake me when we get to the “we’re moving Margo to a farm in upstate New York, where she can run and play and chase rabbits all day long” part.

  183. neographite
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers’ souls are so deadened that they have given up on basic grammar. Maybe losing the battle against undocumented aliens has sunk in for these these Animal-Americans. I foresee the defeat of the English Only movement.

  184. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    apt3G
    So Tommie is really thinking: “I ain’t gonna work on Margo’s Farm no more!”
    ?

  185. Gringo
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Pope Ramalamadingdong (#164): Hey guys, I’m looking for a new gig

    I’m sure there are positions at either Notre Dame or Penn State universities that Your Holiness could ably fill. Something like Prefect of the Shower Room?

  186. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Let us also note the inky blackness of the world’s end coming down on the Flagstons like a giant shoe in panels 1 and 3.

    3G – Wow, puff, puff, pass, Margo! So that’s really it – a super skunk overdose.

    Pluggers-this is like a really lame rhyme from “A Prarie Home Companion.”

  187. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Easing Into It (#182):

    The above one should have been reply to yours.

  188. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119): Dare we hope for a defenestracion.

  189. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#188): There should be a question mark at the end of that line, (almost) needless to say.

  190. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Pope Ramalamadingdong (#164):
    Yeah, heard you were having trouble walking and are feeling weak. Sad. But 85 IS 85…we all can’t be Jack LaLanne or Kirk Douglas.
    “Have a cup of coffee and catch your breath”

  191. Anonymous
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#63): I just heard that song in the supermarket the other day, no joke.

  192. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#184): Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care…

  193. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#189): Pluggers have trouble with punctuation, too.

  194. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#190): I’m calling shenanigans. Everybody knows Ramalamadingdong is a girl’s name.

  195. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#168): Oh man, you’re right. Is there a puff of white smoke emanating from Count Weirdly’s death saucer?

  196. wossname
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#161): I’ve been hoping that the gathering of Margo’s next of kin will include pistol-packin’ Bobbie. At first I thought, naw, that won’t happen – Margo hates her. But then I realized – Margo hates everybody.

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#193): What are, you implying<

  198. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#117): …it doesn’t even START to get dark at that depth.

    That would depend on the turbidity of the water, wouldn’t it? I’ve been to lakes where you lose all visibility past a fathom or two.

  199. blammers66
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    “How bad is she, nurse?”
    “Not bad. A little smoke inhalation. She’ll make it.”
    “It’s me, Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it!”
    “There’s some tissue damage. Did you call her next of kin?”
    “Don’t beat around the bush with me, nursie!”
    “OK. She needs all new organs. What blood type are you?”
    “It’s OK nurse, I can handle the truth!”
    “Fine. She’s on life support.”
    “Just give it to me straight, nurse!”
    “Oh for Chrissakes. She died twenty minutes ago.”
    “Enough of your medical mumbo-jumbo, nurse! What’s the prognosis?”

  200. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: When warmeth gets the springtime weather, it’s time to molt those crappy feathers.

  201. Nehemiah, Protoplasmic primordial blob of Yorkshire
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Yorkshire Shrug (#175): … used to have to take notes by chiseling runes onto rocks, and then stuff the rocks in my breechcloth!

    You had rocks? And chisels?

  202. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn – Is up for the day. I must have missed the point where they wrapped up the plot with the Internet Troll and the series of genies being banished to World of Warcraft, because we have had this fourth-rate retelling of 1001 Nights going on for a few weeks now.

  203. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Thre greater Apartment 3-G meta-question: Should Nurse Claire leave her hat on?

  204. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Pope Ramalamadingdong (#164): I don’t believe you. Everybody knows that Rama Lama Dingdong is a Buddhist monk.

  205. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    “She inhaled a lot of smoke.”

    “Don’t sugarcoat it!”

    “Ok, the smoke didn’t do much. She’s drunk off her ass.”

  206. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#205): Take two…

    “She inhaled a lot of smoke.”

    “Don’t sugarcoat it!”

    “Ok, the smoke didn’t do much. She’s so drunk the lab technician poured her blood sample into a shot glass.”

  207. commodorejohn
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    For some reason, today’s Pluggers reminds me of the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales. I want to see it rendered in Middle English verse. Oh, Angry Kem, wherever have you gone?

  208. Chip Whittle
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @BeanMachine (#103):

    eMail: pluggermail@aol.com – because Pluggers are the only ones still using AOL email addresses. I have to admit, I kind of admire the dedication to consistency. Well played, Pluggers.

    I think the fact that Pluggers weren’t able to get “pluggers@aol.com” for their email address is the most Plugger-ish thing about the Plugger email address.

  209. wooddragon
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#56): Re: Cow and Boy, it’s only updated 3 (or maybe 4) times a week, so there the same comic hangs there through the weekend and Monday, then it’s updated Tuesday – Thursday or Friday.

    I’m getting new comics on my Darkgate feed when he posts new ones…

  210. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Who will play Henrietta in Pluggers: The Movie? Maggie Smith?

  211. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah, Protoplasmic primordial blob of Yorkshire (#201): Oh ho! You had opposable thumbs! Luxury! Back in MY day, we wallowed in the primordial ooze and recorded our lessons by leaving microscopic fossils of our friends in the cooling lava flows!

  212. Dood
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#211): You had lava flows?

  213. bbofun
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#73): Re:RMMD- And her dying words will be- “Name your son- Phoenix!” (Okay, am I the only one to remember her stripper name was Phoenix Riesing?)

    I’m actually hoping that Rex DOES get shot, but is able to talk June through the procedure to take the bullet out, making him an even bigger hero. Oh, and he’ll talk Honey into dropping the gun and giving herself up to the cops, and recommend a good psychiatrist.

    Well, actually, I’m hoping that Rex gets shot and dies, and they rename the strip “June and the house of strippers. But that seems unlikely.

    @Hogenmogen (#31): @Chip (#115): COMIC BOOK NERD POWERS ACTIVATE!(The glasses got broken, and are out for re-taping)- Daredevil’s “billy club” (which is what it’s actually called” is an amazing piece of engineering. Some how, at the touch a a button, it can shift from nunchucks, to two separate staffs, to a longer staff, to a weapon with a 10-ft chain between the clubs, to a grappling hook, with over a hundred feet of wire between the staffs. It’s also contained knock-out gas capsules, a radio, and various other devices (although most of those haven’t been used since the ’70s). So, yeah- it’s pretty much Batman-tech.

    A3G_ “Don’t sugarcoat it! I’m not one of these rubes we bilk money out of everyday by giving them false hopes!” “Um, Tommie? We’re in the waiting room. The families of a lot of our patients are right here…” “I don’t care about these sheep! TELL ME!”

    FW- At first, not recognizing exactly what Comic-Book Guy was doing in panel 1, i took “batching it” as being a reference to “batching out’, which is what you do the credit-card machines at the end of the day. It made no sense in context, of course, but, hell, it’s Funky Winkerbean. Then I figured it out, although I’ve never heard the term before. (And what the hell’s up with the way he’s holding the pizza in the last panel?)

    So, what do we think? Will this be a week of CBG “batching it,” showing how pathetic his existence is without his wife? Or will we switch to the “spring break (in February?) for band directors” and endure a week of music-based puns? Place your bets- either way, we all lose!

    DT- Sweatbox looks older every time we see him. Obviously he needs the blood of children to renew his youth.

    9CL-Why does Edda need a page turner ONLY when it would lead to a joke? Last week, during all the long-hair nonsense, she didn’t. Hmmmm- it’s like Brooke doesn’t even care about consistency.

    PIGBORN- Shutupshutupshutup!

    Luann- Brad is, of course, proposing to Toni because, as you may remember, they were strongly implied to have taken a shower together at the end of the hateful “make-up” week. This, of course, mean Brad has seen her naked, and honor demands that he marry her. (Please note- I’m not suggesting they’ve had sex- that would be wrong!)

  214. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    ASM:Looks like Spider-man is Dare-Devil’s “Banyan” character…

  215. Cloudbuster
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Yorkshire Shrug (#175): You had chisels? And breechcloths? That’s when I knew we were on the inevitable path to decay, when kids decided that notching a thigh bone with a rock and going around naked wasn’t good enough for them.

  216. bbofun
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#202): No, it’s all part of Brooke’s big “Arabian Nights” fantasy arc, drawing together great literature, ’60s’ sitcoms, anime-style sword play, and his hatred of his critics into one big incoherent mess.

  217. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#141): I think its like Kanomi-san stated in his Tokyo Funny Pages mashup page a few years ago. Tony is a fireman futanari.

  218. Majicou
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#212): Oh, we never used to have lava flows. The best we could manage was a disk of gas and dust we hoped would condense into a planet one day.

  219. Baka Gaijin
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): Oh ha ha HA! Much better than the actual storyline will be.

    @pugfuggly (#23) on Mary Worth: Spreading crusty aphorisms? Yucko.

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#56) on Apartment 3-G: EEEEEE!!!! EVILSCARYNURSECLOWN!!!!! [QLUNQ!]

  220. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    “Batching it” is a term I heard every now and then when I was in high school. But that was long ago in the era when it was generally expected that everyone would get married at an early age, so “batching it” was an anomalous enough situation to merit a term to describe it.

  221. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: Stop, Weirdly, you can not share time with another being!

    Weirdly: I can save time in a bottle. My words can make wishes come true! I can save every day ’til eternity passes away, and I can spend them with you!

    Slylock: You are in violation of the natural laws!

    Weirdly: Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars caress my dreams! I am a traveler in both time and space, to be where I have been!

    Slylock: But sharing time… it doesn’t even make sense!

    Weirdly: If I did not travel back and forth in time, you’d never have gotten that WWII era Messerschmitt 262 for Christmas.

  222. Shrug, Yorking Up a Reply
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah, Protoplasmic primordial blob of Yorkshire (#201):

    “You had rocks? And chisels?”

    Well, I *say* rocks — actually it was petrified dinosaur dung. And by “chisels,” I mean my fingernails.

  223. Cardinal gleeb
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Pope Ramalamadingdong (#164): Dang it, now I gotta go to conclave right when were finding out how Sweatball is connected to the mudlarkers’ finds! We better get out in time to see how the Lion-who-Cannot-Die saga ends.

  224. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @wooddragon (#209): Okay, I thought he was sticking with a five-day-a-week schedule. Thanks for the tip.

  225. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#220): I’ve only heard it in terms of a married man having the house alone for a period (an overnight or a week). No wife, no kids – ie: going back to the semi-Neanderthal existence he once enjoyed as a bachelor.

  226. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Posers. In my day, we had to wait for the unified matter field to break up into hydrogen and helium atoms[*] before we could get down to any larnin’.

  227. Peanut Gallery
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#8):

    Pope Benedict is retiring

    He says he wants to spend more time with his Holy Family.

  228. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    I’m really hoping that by “tissue damage,” Claire means “Margo’s developed a bad case of Hulkism. Expect her to turn huge, green and bitchy any minute any now.”

    “Don’t sugarcoat it, Claire!”

    “Okay, bitchier.”

  229. Shrug, Mostly Hydrogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#218):

    YOUR gas and dust had already formed into a DISC? Well, that’s nine tenths of the work done for you right there! WE had to collect the atoms one by one, smoosh them together, and form them into discs ourselves!!

    And you know, when you tell this current crop of wet-behind-the-ears astrophysicists about this, they don’t believe you!

  230. Shruglock, Being Foxy
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#115):

    On second thought, I have another theory as to what Daredevil can be swinging from: Count Weirdly’s space/time/fold window.

  231. Nehemiah, Protoplasmic primordial blob of Yorkshire
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#218): But when you tell kids that theses days…

  232. Fragrant Fred Flintstone
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Yorking Up a Reply (#222):

    Wait, YOUR dinosaur dung was PETRIFIED??

    Luxury!

  233. Hogenmogen
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Mostly Hydrogen (#229): Right, and where do you think those heavy elements CAME from? My class project was to assemble carbon, oxygen and iron out of hydrogen and helium in the heart of a supernova!

  234. bats :[
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#20): Yep, you know it’s gonna be a good week when even the commercials have a positive, perky spin.

  235. Baka Gaijin
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#82): Don’t you know? All dogs hate vacuums. Half the Pluggers are dogs. Thus, Plugger homes are filthy because they fat lazy pigs.

    @Chip (#117): OMG! You’re telling me a weekday Mark Trail has an inaccuracy? Now I know why the Pope abdicated.

    @Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#135): How dense are these people? Spiderman dense. Mark Trail dense. Not quite Keene Kids dense.

  236. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#225): Re: “Batching it”.

    Shades of the argument that, without God to scare us, we would run around all day long murdering and raping everyone we could find.

    I know that when my wife leaves town for a few days, I stop wiping my ass, or even using the toilet. I just walk around naked and let nature take its course. Sort of like Marvin.

  237. Girl Reporter
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    We don’t see the sun much this time of year ’round these parts, so I have to admit I had a flash of recognition at what Chicken Lady meant. A few Januarys ago we bought a three-piece sectional sofa. It wasn’t until a good week after it was delivered that sun came in the living room windows and I finally noticed that the upholstery on two of the pieces was “celery” and the third was “sand”.

  238. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#233):

    I didn’t even have a class project, as we were all just an undifferentiated singularity containing all the matter and energy in the universe.

    (if you can go back further than that, I have a Nobel Prize for you!)

  239. Higgs Bosun
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#238): Tom Batiuk and I have our eyes on you, young whippersnapper. I am looking down through the atmosphere at you right now.

  240. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#194):
    Hell, a woman should be Pope. My opinion.

  241. AhClem
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#233): You had atoms? We had to crawl under our desks for big bang drills to prepare for when it actually occurred.

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#238): …if you can go back further than that, I have a Nobel Prize for you!

    Funny, you don’t sound Swedish.

    // But then, I’m not very good with accents.

  243. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#240): In Catholic Church, opinion has you.

  244. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Higgs Bosun (#239): OMG! You are…? It can’t be! Really? You are Count Weirdly! Wow!

    // Big fan! Can you sign this monitor for me?

  245. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

  246. Girl Reporter
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Mother Girl Reporter took me to a production of R.U.R. in 1970. I was really young and it went over my head. I don’t remember much about it, except there was a lot of talking and it was really really long, especially because the actors playing robots moved slowly and spoke in monotone. The set was a bare stage with scaffolding, platforms and stairs, and the actors wore black turtlenecks. No medallions, ‘though, it wasn’t Shakespeare.

  247. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    SlyFox and the Count – now THAT is a coincidence.

    Curtis – Barry will be perfect with that future Wall Street job.

  248. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#243):
    99.9% of the time, yeah.

  249. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#247): I picture Barry more as chief acolyte to the new Pope, if you get my drift.

  250. Higgs Bosun
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#244): I briefly glanced in your direction and feel I should inform you that every time you do what you’re doing right now, one of my angels dies.

  251. Higgs Bosun
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Do not taunt Higgs Bosun. You fools.

  252. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#8):
    Ha, I didn’t see your comment until now!
    I’d actually prefer Max Mouse as the next Pope, if Mary Worth cannot be nominated (because of her lack of a phallus and her actual respect for young boys and girls) for “The meek shall inherit the earth.”

  253. Peanut Gallery
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    H&L – Subtle reference to Bhob Stewart?

    love is… Subtle reference to “Paper Moon”?

    That’s quite enough subtle references for one day.

  254. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Higgs Bosun (#251):
    Actually, Higgs-Boson for Pope! The X factor and all. : )

  255. commodorejohn
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#225): Neanderthals were able to form fully functional social groups which included women, and therefore could not have suffered from the kind of acute gynophobia implied here. I believe the term you’re searching for is “overgrown frat-boy.”

  256. Higgs Bosun
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#254): The ‘xx’ factor. But how could you tell?

  257. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Pope Ramalamadingdong (#164): I thought “Leo de Janeiro” was a cool nom de plume. Too late to snag it…

    “Sam Francisco” is still available as a nom de plume. But I’m not sure about the coolness factor.

    @Lumaca Morente (#181): @Not-Pope Dan (#160): I’m glad you recognize, Father, that ashes are an imposition.

    I wish someone with insider knowledge of the Apartment 3-G Universe (Margaret Shulock? Frank Bolle? Bueller? Anyone?) would tell us if the current “Margo Magee Gets Deep-Fried” storyline culminates on Ash Wednesday, February 13.

  258. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#255): Ha, ha, until I went back to the original comment, I thought you were talking about the Catholic Church…

  259. Higgs Bosun
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#257): I may switch to “Miss Ogyny”

  260. Majicou
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Mostly Hydrogen (#229): Well, of course, we had it tough. We had to wait for the energy of t’ inflaton field to give rise to quarks and gluons. Aye, but we were happy in them days.

  261. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#253): H&L – Subtle reference to Bhob Stewart?

    Good Lord! [choke] I think you’re correct about furshlugginer Bhob.

  262. Leo de Janeiro
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Duck Season! Shrug Season! (#176): If those giant ducks from Lost Forest are anything like the giant ducks from Lost Forest that I know, Daredevil had best not refer to their home as “Forsto”.

  263. Peanut Gallery
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    JP – This being a lawyer’s household, naturally they start the day off with a nice bowl of Kafka Flakes. They’re just the thing to prepare you for a trial.

  264. bats :[
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    It’s cold and rainy outside. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

  265. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#264):
    You have given us more probable information about these two than the actual strip has in weeks.

  266. endless sky
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Pickles: Earl, Earl. Don’t you know when Opal says “I’m cold” she really means “Would it hurt you to once in a while show me a bit of affection like a HUG? But I guess the cat will be OK.”

    Now if Opal went out of town and left Earl and the cat to fend for themselves, they would definitely be “batching it.” This seems like the demographic that would use the term, not Funky or Comix John.

  267. Calico
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

  268. Dartpaw86
    February 11th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#154):

    I might as well add the Dukes of Hazzard to that list.

  269. TheDiva
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Because Scheherazade, being female and all, could never have come up with so many great stories on her own and must have got a man to concoct them for her in exchange for sexual favors. Get a life, therapy, and/or bent, Brooke.

  270. endless sky
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    FW: Funky and Comix John. What a Valentines Day this will be! Uh, it’s just two days away, and there’s not a love story in sight. The newly-weds seem to have disappeared, Ann Fairgood regrets giving up her potential to marry Fred, married Darrin seems smitten with his newly found “sister”, Funky’s wife is out of the picture, as usual, Becky has left John for the joys of band camp. Cupid is taking a holiday here.

  271. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#257):
    “Sam Francisco” is still available as a nom de plume. But I’m not sure about the coolness factor.

    I don’t know, dude.
    If he Sam Francisco is the living embodiment of The San Francisco Treat, he’ll be alright. Lack of coolness would not be an issue for him…or for her.

  272. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#264): Mmmm, bats:[work!

  273. Uncle Lumpy
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#270):

    Dead Lisa is everybody’s Valentine, but she celebrates in October.

  274. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#64): No fucking shit. “Batching it”??? I’m certain that tubbo’lard there is always botching it, but this is as bad as ‘vendos’. Or ‘solo car date’. WTF, over.

    How does this crap get past editors?

  275. Majicou
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#273): Yes, her feast day is around then, isn’t it? It’s a holy day of obligation for everyone in Westview. There are hymns and readings extolling Dead St. Dead Lisa as the only person ever to die of cancer, and then of course they ritualistically sacrifice a pizza on a pile of empty liquor bottles, lighting the great pyre with a vintage comic book.

  276. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#269): And that too. This just an excuse for him to draw a chick sticking her tongue down a guy’s throat. Somebody needs to tell McElboner about slipshine.com so he can draw what he really wants to draw.

  277. The Woman With The Odd Brown Hair
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[(#264): Some stand proud where Fame insists
    The best belong, at “Finalists.”
    But some of us are forced to dally
    Out of sight in “Loser Alley.”
    Having dropped our sea-blue cake,
    No retrieving that mistake,
    With a crowbar we shall tarry,
    Waiting for a shot at Mary.

  278. Sam Andreas
    February 11th, 2013 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#257): “Sam Francisco” is still available as a nom de plume. But I’m not sure about the coolness factor.

    Well, if changing your name to “Sam Francisco” fails to shake things up, whose fault is that?

  279. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @blammers66 (#199):

    Very funny!

    Leslie Nelson fan perhaps?

    // And don’t call me Shirley!

  280. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

  281. Etymological Shrug
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#274):

    It’s a perfectly cromulent word, though old fashioned. I hear it now and then, mostly from my older relatives. The OED says in part:

    bach, v.

    Pronunciation: /bæt?/
    Forms: Also batch.
    Etymology: < bach n.1
    N. Amer., Austral., and N.Z. colloq.
    intr. Usu. of a man: to live as a bachelor; to live alone and do one's own cooking and housekeeping. Also with it.
    Thesaurus »
    Categories »

    a. N. Amer.
    1870 Repub. Daily Jrnl. (Lawrence, Kansas) 29 Jan. (D.A.), They ‘bach’.
    1878 I. L. Bird Lady's Life Rocky Mts. (1879) ix. 156 The men don't like ‘baching’, as it is called in the wilds—i.e. ‘doing for themselves’.
    1888 Cent. Mag. Jan. 412/2 He had always ‘bached it’ (lived as a bachelor).
    1898 Lett. fr. Canada vii, in Times 22 Nov. 6/1 ‘To batch’ upon the prairies represents perhaps the minimum of pleasure in existence.
    1927 P. H. Pearson Prairie Vikings 13 For two years they ‘bached’ as huntsmen along the creek banks.

  282. Jamus The Bartender
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#31): Um, yeah, those “magic nunchaku” are designed to be used in Hell’s Kitchen, with buildings closer together. San Francisco, not so much.

  283. Jamus The Bartender
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    A Short List Of Changes Made With Count Weirdly As Pope

    –Confessional booths replaced with time-travel cabinets to eliminate confession of sins. Actual sins would be eliminated in one visit!!
    –Rosary beads with built-in cameras the size of peas just in case….well, just in case.
    –Popemobile replaced with that sweet jet!
    –Area in church for rowdy kids replaced with holodeck technology showing noisy kids just what happens in Bible times to sinners who have angered God.
    –Host crackers…..31 delicious flavors!!
    –STEM CELLS FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!

  284. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#270): Cupid is taking a holiday here.

    Not so. Things are beginning to heat up between Nancy and Sluggo:

    http://www.gocomics.com/nancy/2013/02/11

  285. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#234): Perky post bats [: !! I think the artist got a new 45 degree triangle for his drawing set….

  286. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#273): I live in Austin which is full of live music and all kinds of bands. God help me but I think “Dead Lisa” would be a good band name. I’m horrible. (yet it makes me smile!) “Thanks everybody! We’re ‘Dead Lisa’ !!”

  287. Poteet
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#286): Ooh, maybe we can come up with a list of songs for that band! I’ll lead off with “Dead Flowers.”

  288. endless sky
    February 11th, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#286): @Poteet (#287): “Tapes from Beyond” “Malpractice Memories” “Bye, Bye, Les”

  289. Daniel
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers is not helping my budding stomach bug.

  290. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#287): “American Pie” by Don McClain (sp?)
    “Country Death Song” Violent Femmes
    “I just Died in Your Arms Tonight” (Westview Band literal version)

  291. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#287): Poteet! Brilliant! This is like shooting fish in a barrell or fishing for bass with a Uranium powered glowing lure and helium rebreather syatem to conceal the bubbles and truth from a way too trustworhty outdoors writer and his hideous ward….whew….

  292. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#288): I’m assuming “Bye Bye Les” is a remake of the Cars “Bye Bye Love”? :-)

  293. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#286): @Poteet (#287): @endless sky (#288): “Dead Lisa” would naturally be playing in the Death Metal genre.

    // Tho they could be emo. And there is a strong folk and country-western tradition of songs about death & dismemberment & suffering & sorrow & murder & woe in general. Maybe Gregorian chant: That’s probably due for a come back. I can see Dead Lisa dirges charting like crazy.

  294. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#292): Or the different song by the Everly Bros. of the same name.

  295. endless sky
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#287): “What doesn’t kill you – will eventually”

  296. Anonymous
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers For those who have followed Pluggers from the beginning, we know that Chicken Man represents our unfounded fears, our “the sky is falling” moments. When was the last time you said “Oh Dear.” when you thought you would not live to see another day?

  297. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”She inhaled a lot of smoke. Of course this is the Sixties or are we in the Seventies either way it’s most likely cigarette smoke. You know how fashionable smoking is in this time period that we exist in.”

    MW-”I saw the other cakes. They were of different colors instead of one solid color and actually looked like nature.”

    FW-You do know what happens on Spring Break don’t you? And you are quite comfortable with her leaving you behind?

    Spiderman-”Hey, DD, it’s me Spiderman. Remember me? We met at that superhero mixer.”

    Curtis-”I love you so much, Mommy, that I want to kill Daddy and marry you.”

    Crankshaft-”I don’t like that Jap food” is what he is really thinking.

    Pluggers-”Pluggers know that when the sun shines through the kitchen door that it is time to sacrifice someone to their god to keep the sun shinning.

  298. Sam Andreas
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#286): Well, there’s this band, which releases albums like this one.

  299. CanuckDownSouth
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    FW – doesn’t Comic Book Guy have Rana at home, the adopted daughter of Becky and her MIA husband, which made it all the more misery-porny when he returned and was expected to move on as if his wife and kid didn’t mean anything to him anymore? She was younger than Summer and so should still be at home going to high school.

    Or, you know, she’d be around if the authour cared about actual continuity rather than focusing on mashing in an estranged daughter to up the Misery Index just because another character was supposedly divorced before appearing in the strip. (Hint: married couples without children can legally divorce!)

  300. Liam
    February 11th, 2013 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Margo is going to be the best looking person to ever died from third degree burns.”

  301. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#245): I am not in the least surprised that people couldn’t tell the difference.

  302. Mikey
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sam Andreas (#298): That’s cool, but just too easy. In Winkerville, death is woven subtley into the fabric of..well, death…

  303. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

  304. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#303): I heard about that. Why didn’t they just raise the price?

  305. agony
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    I just frigging hate all this long distance romance crap in Luann. Sulking because she won’t get to romance with Quill so she might as well watch the kid – arrgh!

    Luann, Quill is not your boyfriend. You are sixteen years old and he is on the other side of the world – that is not a boyfriend. That is an *excuse* not to have a real boyfriend.

  306. Baka Gaijin
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#257): I remember “Sam Francisco”. Great episode.

    // Apparently I Love Lucy, too.

    @bats :[ (#264): Next time, the phrase is “not bumming my boat.” More Mary Worthian.

    @Jamus The Bartender (#283): Long-form COTW contender!

    @agony (#305): The term you’re looking for is “beard” in the Urban Dictionary sense.beard

  307. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#304): Probably because they thought people wouldn’t pay a premium price for Marker’s Mark. Well, they should know.

  308. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#257):

    Sam Francisky? How did you come, you drove or did you flew?

    Hitchhiked on the back of a truck you say?

  309. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#307):
    Maybe. But, no one is saying that they can’t still raise the price, too.

    The claim that I read is that it is selling really well. But, supply can’t keep up. Perhaps that is true. Perhaps it is an excuse.

    I’ll cut it slack for announcing it instead of just doing it. While I haven’t drank any of it in years…(hunh…yeah, years)….people were willing to pay for it anyway. Perhaps some people just won’t put ice in it or add water to it.

    Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if an ad agency capitalizes on that option alone.

    “Don’t worry about adding a spritz, we took care of that for you. Just Chill and Drink up!”

  310. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#308): You sound just like J.C. Dithers’ cousin Sid.

  311. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#307): But will people pay the same amount for a worse product? Assuming that less alcohol is worse, which I do.

  312. commodorejohn
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#311): I admit that I’ve never had Maker’s Mark, but I gather from my coworkers with more of a “spent college getting hammered” history that it’s the kind of thing you drink primarily for alcohol content (not as bad as Wild Turkey, apparently, but still.) Given that, I’d think the last thing you want to do would be dilute it.

  313. seismic-2
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#309): Wild Turkey, which has for decades made its 101-proof bourbon iconic (with the number “101″ displayed in large font on the label), also sells an 81-proof bottling, but at least they have the decency and common sense to sell that watered-down stuff at a cheap price. (Wild Turkey maybe gouges you a bit on their 108.4-proof “Rare Breed” mixture of 6-, 8-, and 12-year-old barrel-strength bourbons, but they are soon forgiven after you’ve downed a few drams.)

  314. Jamus The Bartender
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#306): That would rock. None of my stories ever got in, but those have a lot of lines…..

  315. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#313):
    First of all, we should rationalize this sub-topic based upon the fact that it is Mardi Gras season AND that Count Weirdly seems to be angling for the job of Pope.

    I was unaware of different types of Wild Turkey.
    @commodorejohn (#312):

    People who drink liquors/spirits are sometimes pickier than most consumers.
    The reason I bring that up is because as time passes, many perishable products change so that producing them are cheaper. Sizes get smaller, fillers are added, ingredients are substituted.

    In small part because of the drought last year, corn prices are going higher. Corn is used in too many things and that is bad enough. So, there is a shortage given that demand.

    Bourbon is apparently mostly derived from corn.

    Like I mentioned, people who drink are pickier than someone just looking for a microwave burrito or enough pork steaks for a family. They can obviously be price conscious but that can change as they can afford better or not afford better.

    So, speaking as a person who’s been to many a bar and paid a lot for watered down drinks, I’d say some people may not be too picky. They may stick with the brand or downgrade or upgrade with Maker’s Mark. But, I am sure that the company may maintain its customers. In addition to consumers buying it by the bottle, bars and restaurants buy spirits, too. So, we’ll see.

    I don’t think watering it down matters too much. Apparently there are better brands. And, some people might not mind that it isn’t as “harsh” as the cheapest drink.

    Happy Mardi Gras! Which comic are you giving up for lent?
    Me, I’m giving Ziggy the old heave ho!
    Okay, that’s an annual tradition. I just can’t quit Ziggy!

  316. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#315):

    They can obviously be price conscious

    What I meant by that section is that food prices are constantly going up and the products aren’t the same. I’d need to don a booster powered thinking cap to come up with a food product, or food stuff product that hasn’t changed. Heck, it could even be the packaging, like a bottle or how it is wrapped.

  317. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 11th, 2013 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#313): The nicer Wild Turkey brands are pretty nice, really (I had a bottle of Russell’s Reserve once and enjoyed it quite a bit). I think Maker’s has done brilliant marketing, and the distillery-tour experience there reinforces it: They’ve made themselves into “the” bourbon, so that people who drink it believe they’re drinking something really special. It’s fascinating.

    @tallyHO (#309): Put ice or water in bourbon? Never. (Yes, a drop of water in cask-strength Scotch is fine–but not in bourbon.) And don’t serve it in a snifter—or a “pussy glass,” as I think of it.

  318. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Yipes. I’m not nearly the snob that I sound like in that last comment. Too long a day, I think. Or not enough bourbon.

  319. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#315): as a note, most bourbon (and other booze) tends to be 80 proof.

    Makers Mark is 87 proof, so dropping it down to the standard level isn’t a huge shift, but it’s still a bummer.

  320. tallyHO
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#317): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#319):

    You never know how people drink it. I know people who will mix bourbon with soda.
    And, nah. You didn’t sound like a snob.

    80 proof?
    At least the bottle will still have wax on it!

    Again, I haven’t drank it in years but I do know people who do and do so because to them it is better than other crap. You know the rationalization.

    As it goes, I actually prefer good beers. But, I can’t drink as many beers (good or cheap) as I once could. Which makes no sense.

  321. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    I usually can’t afford much in the way of good booze these days, so my bourbon is usually Jim Beam when I feel the need. That being said, if I’m splurging, I’m going for Turkey 101. or, if I win the Lotto, Bookers.

    Still, I wouldn’t turn down a shot of Maker’s Mark if you’re buying, not by a long shot.

  322. Cloudbuster
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#218): Back in my day, we only had a singularity, and we were lucky to have that! Kids today … get off of my incredibly hot, dense proto-lawn!

  323. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#322):

    “@Majicou (#218): Back in my day, we only had a singularity, and we were lucky to have that!”

    *Sigh* Things were so much simpler back then……I’m younger than that now!

  324. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 11th, 2013 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    PBS, Rip Haywire, XKCD – Best comic strips out there!

  325. Droopy Says
    February 12th, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Wow! DareDevil hit Spiderdick so hard, he bent his exclamation point!

    Funky Whatsit: A joke about a staff infection would be more fitting, as Batiuk plays Johnny One-Note.

    Family Circus: NSFBG! Or diabetics, or technophiles, or eugenicists.

    Mary Mirthless: His first contest and John Dill wins first place? If that don’t take the cake!

    Pluggers: Yeah, the kid is really going to rat out Grandpa, who anyway probably learned worse words from the kid.

    Mary Mirthless: “And now the judges ask the spectators for a moment of silence, to honor the swift and unexpected deaths of all the other contestants.”

    Phantom: “I usually think inside my skull, where I keep my pea-sized brain, but that’s not important. Where are we going to put the Phantom? Inside the cage with a lion which turns out to be the very same animal he saved just last month, and still feels grateful for the way he repeatedly jabbed her and operated on her without pain killers?”

    Mock Travail: We see here how Trail’s life is fraught with philosophical problems. Should he continue to ride with a man who is, somehow, cheating? Is it moral to write a story which will either advertise a commercial product, or lead to scandal among the fishing community, who you know are good people? Can Trail in good conscuience unleash the Fists o’ Justice on a man who wears glasses? Above all, where is Rusty amid all this excitement?

  326. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 12th, 2013 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#325):

    Pray tell oh Wise One, from where do you see the future? My sources are still bond to today, yet you see all, before we do! Praise be to your snark!

  327. Droopy Says
    February 12th, 2013 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#326): I do it with the help of my friend, Count Wierdly. He’s been in my debt ever since I pulled that stake, er, thumping great splinter from his chest.

    http://www.azcentral.com/thingstodo/comics/

  328. seismic-2
    February 12th, 2013 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#318): Oh, go ahead – be a snob. You’re entitled, every once in a while, to share in the Parker-Driver-Spenser lifestyle, for at least as long as it takes to sip some of the good stuff. So, cheers!!!

  329. Clint Brawny
    February 12th, 2013 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    Is Dagwood now George W. Bush?

    “I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for this audio cookbook to remain playing.”

  330. Dale
    February 12th, 2013 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#325):

    MARK TRAIL

    I asked about this days ago.
    Any story Mark writes won’t be published for months.
    If Mark can prove that Brassy cheats, does he go to the judges?
    Yes – his story will be worthless.
    No – prizes will have been awarded. contestants dispersed. evidence destroyed.
    “Mark Trail covered up for a cheater just to get a good story.”

  331. Droopy Says
    February 12th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#330): If Trail writes a story, it’s going to describe how he caught Rod Bassy. Odds are that it won’t mention talking ducks, Rusty or other oddities.

  332. Droopy Says
    February 12th, 2013 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: If Sweat Box gets any creepier, he’ll have to move to Cancerville and start teaching high school English.

  333. gleeb
    February 12th, 2013 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Sure, we’re meant to think the dog is saving his little house from a Crankshaft-style crushing, but I think he’s actually fleeing from the death duck on the tree stump.

    ‘bean: Even though it’s twisting the knife in the ironic wound of being a deaf ex-bandleader, Dinkle likes getting away from Cancerdeathville, as who wouldn’t?

    Sophie’s Accusing Eyes!: If she’s not covered by that insurance, blood will flow!

    Spidey: “Get away, you smell like something off the back of a truck!”

  334. comcis fan
    February 12th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    MW: Boy, all that hard work and believing in ourselves and determination really paid off. And cake-lifting practice, too. Let’s celebrate at my place with some white pie!

  335. Dr. P and the Women
    February 12th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “She’ll be fine.” “Don’t sugarcoat it!” “Start making funeral plans.” “Jesus, sugarcoat it a little!”

  336. Lenoxus
    February 13th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure that “Have you called her next of kin” is a sarcastic reply to the insinuation of sugar-coating.

  337. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    February 15th, 2013 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth, Feb 15: Mary sez, “John … just shut up and kiss me! I can’t wait to get out of this one-horse town, leave that dweeb Dr. Jeff behind me, and bite into the Big Apple with you at my side!”

Comments are closed for this post.