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But Margo always breathes fire

Apartment 3-G, 2/18/13

Margo wakes up from her asphyxiation coma and just naturally assumes Tommie has dragged her home from yet another blackout bender.

Gasoline Alley, 2/18/13

Rufus needs to arrange a sham marriage in a hurry to secure his inheritance under the terms of a really terribly drafted will, but he can’t find a human volunteer because rich or poor, he’s still Rufus. Still, none of that excuses Joel pimping out his mule. And Becky’s enthusiasm for the arrangement is starting to creep me out.

Momma, 2/18/13

As Gertrude Stein once said of Oakland, “There is no there there.” At least not nearly enough for a vaccination scar.

Gil Thorp, 2/18/13

Oh imagine that, the peacock wasn’t really the magical score-enhancing reincarnation of his tragically dead brother after all, just the wayward pet of some amiable neighbor-doofus. But Scott will say anything to deny the plain truth: “Um, … do you mean today? The sun was in my eyes! Bitch set me up! What was that noise? She said she was 18! My dog ate it! Greedo shot first! I took a wide stance! It’s not you, it’s me! I thought they were tomato plants! I never got your message! She’s just a friend! I was drunk! The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat! How could I have known it was loaded? I swear nothing like this ever happened to me before! The heart wants what it wants! I didn’t see the sign! I was dead at the time — on the Moon, with Steve! Everybody does it! Wait, I was just holding it for somebody! Ida Know! NOT ME!”

– Uncle Lumpy

357 responses to “But Margo always breathes fire”

  1. Mars
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    I don’t remember a female spawn of Mama; I’m only familiar with her son. Does this rerun mean his sister was killed off at some point, or that this is him and he’s really into cross-dressing?

  2. Droopy Says
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Yes, stand around and point fingers while a missile flies toward you. Why not? DareDevil has been poisoned, or something, and he’s talking to Spiderdick. At this point he has nothing to live for.

    Funky Wankerbore: Wow, the Nineties were so chauvinistic, weren’t they? Is Batiuk in competition with Hart LLC for the most use of obsolete jokes?

    Momma: A vacination scar joke? Is scraggly-drawn daughter old enough to have received a smallpox vaccination? Or is this another example of careless non-joke recycling?

    Familius Jerkus: That’s an interesting grammatical construction you have there, Billy. But we’ll giv it a pass if Dolly and PJ are inside those huge snowbals.

    Spiderdick: Um, Parker? Don’t try to defeat the missile by webbing it. At this point all you’d do would be to pull it closer to you, which is the whole idea of a missile attack anyway. And since your webbing was too weak to hold Kraven, I don’t think it will contain the shrapnel and blast from a warhead.

    Phantom: Yes, it’s Lion #4, and she has Kit just where she wants him. Turnabout is fair play, Ghost-Who-Roofies!

    Pluggers: Pluggers have the proportional snooping powers of a Spiderman.

    Spiderdick: I hope the “warhead” isn’t a pop-out flag that reads “Boom!”

    Mock Travail: Don’t any of these people wear seat belts? No? Good. Chop down those speed limit signs!

    Phantom: Unseen panel three: The big kitty scrapes litter over Stripey Butt.

    Mary Mirthless: What do you mean, Mary, you can’t be away from Casino Royale for eight months? Surely you can aford to misss just one of your adventures!

    Judge Parker: Randy is taking his parents on his honeymoon? Good, maybe they’ll finally teach him about the birds and the bees. I assume they know that bit themselves, although I could be proved wrong here.

  3. Faoladh
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    I was not previously aware that Margo was into autoerotic asphyxiation. I was also not aware that Tommie had walked in on her often enough for both of them to be so blase.

  4. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    A3G: What the heck is going on with Tommie’s shirt? Did she glue kleenex to the sides or something?

    //I guess this is what they meant by tissue damage. ::ducks::

    I am mystified by Momma. To the best of my knowledge, the usual places for childhood vaccinations are the arm and, at least for toddlers, the thigh or the butt, and parents don’t really have a say in the location. So now I am forced to consider the question of where Momma did insist her daughter be vaccinated, and why the usual locations weren’t good enough.

  5. Harold
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Guille de Thorpe: Creepy Sexual Predator makes note to self that pickup line #1473b seems to have worked. “Yes, son, they’re magnificent – all blue, like my jacket, and yours! Why don’t we go somewhere more private and maybe you’ll see a pee-cock up close – and maybe even touch it?”

  6. Jon the Red
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    You forgot “the laces were in!”.

  7. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    Momma: Reminds me of the Gilmore Girls line “Thank you for the concept of lunch”. Of course even calling this strip “the concept of a joke” is a stretch.

    Luann: I’m starting to feel the same cringing anticipation when I see Tiffany that I’m sure a lot of people did when Theresa showed up in FbofW. That unpleasant feeling that some sort of sexist tongue-lashing is sure to happen and you will rage at the computer screen for a half an hour.

  8. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    Today’s Rex Morgan is hilarious. I don’t know which I find more entertaining – the strategically flung hand in the first panel, or Rex’s amusing little OMG dance in the second.

  9. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, I guess Brooke and I actually agree on something for once: animal cruelty is bad. That being said:

    “They’re clearly not Yankee fans” makes no sense as a joke. What does this mean? Yankee fans all buy baseball bats because they watch baseball? Yankee fans distinguish themselves from fans of other teams by not hurting cows? Bwuh?

    ASM: A missile. A very, very, very slow-moving missile. Daredevil is sure able to do a lot of talking in between the time it becomes visible and the time it closes the distance and hits him.

    There was an old issue of Deadpool in which Wolverine was leaping at the title character, and in mid-air delivered a long speech. Prompting the following exchange from two spectators:

    “He says much in one leap, doesn’t he?”
    “Excellent observation… I believe lengthy speeches in mid-leap are a form of mutant power.”

    Change a few of the words and that’s very applicable here.

    Garfield: Jon you IDIOT! The only reason Liz was interested in you in the first place was because of your (invisible to the reader) eyebrows! Expect to get dumped the next time she sees you.

    Luann: The joke is that nothing is bothering her. Or that she says nothing is bothering her when something is. It’s funny because…uh, people in real life act this way sometimes, I guess?

    RMMD: OMG, is there anything more narmy than Rex in panel two? It’s like a combination facepalm/covering his eyes with one hand/offering a palmful of money to the horrible evil naked lady to put her clothes back on with the other hand/doing a squat! It is the BEST THING EVER!!!

    If Josh were here I would beg him–BEG him–to start another photo contest with Mudgeons mimicking Rex!

    Slylock: These students are in exterminator school, apparently.

  10. commodorejohn
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Flailing, coughing, blaming the likker, and frantically trying to place herself: I like to think this is how Margo wakes up every morning.

  11. Alison
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    “Luann”: How caring of Crystal to ask Tiffany if something’s bothering her. That means that if Tiff confides in her, Crystal can spend the rest of the week mocking Tiffany for being unhappy.
    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#7): Nailed it; this is just like Therese. Except Therese was even more evil than Tiffany, because Therese didn’t want to be a parent, and in FOOB not wanting to be a parent was on par with being an axe murderer.

    “Mary Worth”: So what is it that Mary can’t leave behind for eight months? She lives alone, she doesn’t work, and all she does all day is bake salmon squares and meddle, which are things you can do in New York just as well as in Santa Royale. In the real world, I would say that she has good reason not to want to leave, because financially it’s too difficult, but hell, no one in the strip seems concerned with *that*.

  12. Mr. O’Malley
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y182): Along the same lines, Charles Babbage wrote to Tennyson, who had written:

    Every minute dies a man,
    Every minute one is born

    pointing out that the world’s population was in fact constantly increasing:

    I would therefore take the liberty of suggesting that in the next edition of your excellent poem the erroneous calculation to which I refer should be corrected as follows: “Every moment dies a man/And one and a sixteenth is born.”

    This figure, he added, was a concession to metre, since the actual ratio was 1:167. Tennyson did eventually blur his assertion to the extent of changing `minute’ to `moment’.

  13. Elk Meadow
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    MW: John’s hang-dog expression in the second panel. Man, they must have stayed up all night to get that right!

    RMMD: And here it took two full days and nights to get that arm and hand just right!

    Anyone else still have a “Charles in Charge” earworm stuck in their heads? I never watched the show, avoided Scott Baio shows all of my life, skipped over it at Sally Forth, and got tripped up when I came here while Sunday was still up. Thanks a lot, Josh and Uncle Lumpy!

  14. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#13): I didn’t listen to the CIC theme yesterday, but I kind of have Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” stuck in my head right now.

    It’s not starting to annoy me yet

  15. Elk Meadow
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:49 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#14):

    Trade you! Please!

  16. Elk Meadow
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    Anyone else catch the Dick Tracy duet on Sunday?

    What was shown in Chicago:

    http://i1340.photobucket.com/albums/o733/RayToler/Capture_zps075f1210.jpg

    What was shown on Comics Kingdom and everywhere else:

    http://assets.amuniversal.com/bc4d3dc0577801301625001dd8b71c47

    (My thanks to Gocomics poster Ray Toler)

  17. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    The current Mad magazine (#520, April 2013) has a 3-page parody inspired by Bil and Jeff Keane’s Family Circus. It’s called “Honey Boo Boo’s Family Circus,” which takes a swipe at the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo reality television series on TLC. The piece is typical Mad fare by writer Frank Santopadre and artist Tom Richmond.

    Elsewhere in that issue is a DEADEVILSCARYCLOWN cartoon — much to the edification (and delight!) of Baka Gaijin.

  18. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:08 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9): I originally parsed “They’re clearly not Yankees fans” like the “Obviously, you’re not a golfer” line from The Big Lebowski, but even in that sense it fails. So yeah. No fucking sense has been made.

  19. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9) said: “‘They’re clearly not Yankee fans’ makes no sense as a joke. What does this mean? Yankee fans all buy baseball bats because they watch baseball? Yankee fans distinguish themselves from fans of other teams by not hurting cows? Bwuh? “

    I don’t get it, either. Of course, the Great Artiste McEldowney would not expect commoner curmudgeons like us to understand his oh-so-sophisticated witticisms. However, this will not stop me from offering up my own interpretation: Yankee fans would not use bats to get a cow to move, because they don’t know anything about cows. They only know about horses, because they live near the broncs.

  20. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#19):

    Yankee fans would not use bats to get a cow to move, because they don’t know anything about cows. They only know about horses, because they live near the broncs.

    I tried not to LOL at that, and failed miserably.

  21. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Momma is an oldie — but never a goodie — from the 1980s.

    @Mars (#1): I don’t remember a female spawn of Mama; I’m only familiar with her son. Does this rerun mean his sister was killed off at some point, or that this is him and he’s really into cross-dressing?

    No, Marylou Hobbs is really Momma’s sole female offspring. If she was missing for a time, maybe it’s because Marmaduke happened to see Marylou in her new bikini.

    And thinking she was a really big bone with a couple of strings tied around it, Marmaduke buried her.

  22. Mr. O’Malley
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#13): I’ve never heard of that person or that show, and I think I want to keep it that way. Sorry if I sound like I’m bragging, but my earworm for the last week has been Laura Nyro’s Eli and the 13th Confession album. I listened to it obsessively when I was younger, and I just listened to it again last week, and it’s been coming back to me with all the parts. Great musicians on that album as well as great songs. Three songs from that that album were big hits for other artists: Sweet Blindness, Stoned Soul Picnic and Eli’s Coming. Good stuff, but I prefer the original versions.

  23. Adam
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:54 am [Reply]

    God knows I don’t have high expectations for Apartment 3-G, but couldn’t they have at least attempted to make Tommie and Margo look vaguely similar from panel to panel? The shape of their heads has changed!

  24. Roy
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:07 am [Reply]

    Momma: routine smallpox vaccination ended in the US in 1972, which means Marylou is at least forty now. Since it is easy to imagine Francis is in his forties, I think the surprising fact is that Momma has realtime continuity, which makes it the first surprising fact about Momma ever.

  25. bats :[
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#2): re Phantom: the visual of the Spirit Lioness burying Kit…priceless.

    RMMD: just about as priceless as this. I bow before Nolan.

  26. Droopy Says
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9): Maybe McEch’s “Yankees fans” line has something to do with hitting. Since these guys are clearly hitting the cow, it could be that the Yankees are renowned for their inability to hit anything with their bats. Or maybe, because cows lack male genitalia, all teams but the Yankees are known for swinging at balls that aren’t there, and, um, somehow this carries over to their fans. Or McEch has bats in his belfry, because it’s really more likely that McEch knows less about sports than I do, and I don’t know anything about sports. Yeah, that’s it.

  27. bats :[
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Yes, it pales by comparison–as I said, I bow to Nolan (and Wilson, too).
    Oh, hey, I can still get and hour and a half more sleep if I toddle off right now!

  28. gleeb
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    There was a terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to God!

    3-G: So, no effect from the smoke, but the professor’s Greek “scotch” takes its toll.

    ‘bean: Ugh. The band crap seeps into this week, leaving a mopey stain on the carpets. You want more respect, Lefty? Have Batiuk stop drawing you like a 16-year-old boy.

    Dick: And now, the exciting spectacle of a little guy fighting with an octogenarian.

    Loose Parts: Ahab’s leg was made of whalebone. Dave Blazek is a Philistine.

    June Morgan, RN: I love Rex dancing about, holding his hand over his nose so he can claim a good-faith effort not to look.

  29. cholling
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Mule marriage in Gasoline Alley, a woman trying to get a pig to make out with her in a Geico commercial… is bestiality the new gay? Holy crap, Pat Robertson was right!

  30. teenchy
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    GT: Glad to see you touch on it, Uncle, even if the plot has been inane. This Week in Milford is dying with a whimper and hasn’t been updated in nearly a month.

  31. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    There’s this funny thing to say apropos of nothing, when conversation is dead. “What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?” The stick figure daughter of Momma shows us. And the knee nor the bikini is very pretty. Next time there’s a lull in conversation, I’m going to start saying that I can’t imagine a world without Margo.

  32. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-The gangs in San Francisco sure have upgraded their arsenals.

    A3G-Like I just swallowed some of that pink psychedelic smoke that the hippies in Washington Square smoke.

    Dick Tracy-”Stop sweating on me. Do you know hard it is to get sweat stains out?”

    Gil Thorp-”I’ve finally gotten around to looking for my peacock.”

    MW-”My followers would start thinking on there own and I can’t have people not thinking what I want them to think.”

  33. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”Do you like movies about gladiators?” “Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

  34. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Daredevil: I don’t need to tell you, your spider-senses obviously warn you to approaching danger!

    Spidey: Yeah! I’m getting it! I’m totally sensing … uh.. danger. Right! Coming right this way… in a hurry! We should… DO something to … escape this dangerous danger!

    Daredevil: There’s a missle headed this way!

    Spidey: I knew that!

  35. Tom Allen
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Futile as it is to correct “Gasoline Alley” — that’s not how dowries work. They come from the bride’s (er, mule’s) side and go to the husband.

  36. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    MT: I was going to feel bad for Rusty because he has to stand up in the back of the car, but then I remembered that his usual spot is under the car, with a rising tide.

    Curtis: How many times a day do you think Diane has to clean spit-take residue off that table?

  37. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Rex: June! I’ve examined Honey, and using my medical expertise, I have diagnosed her with being a female!

  38. WeatherServo9
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    If everything that’s ever happened in Apartment 3-G to this point has been Margo’s coma dream, it would explain a lot.

  39. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    MW: I don’t get John Dill’s insistence that Mary give up her day job of trimming roses, attending pool parties and eating at the Bum Boat in between crucial-to-society meddles. He can go alone. There’s no requirement at the culinary school that they come in pairs.

  40. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    I’m still not getting this. Daredevil knew about the missle coming in. So he jumps, twirls, flips and swings through half of San Fran to the one spot where the missle was going to hit? Missles don’t have maneuverability through narrow streets and around buildings, and they certainly don’t have a programmed “lock on dude in spandex” mode.

  41. lorne
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    There’s my next trip to jail planned. I’m just going to walk around the neighbourhood with a dumb grin on my face saying “This may sound silly but have you by chance seen a peacock?”

  42. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    A3G-”Like I was at the center of a massive building destroying fire and all I got was smoke inhalation.”

    Momma-”I think that we need to start being drawn by the people who draw ‘Judge Parker’ if you are going to be prancing around in a bikini.”

  43. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    RMMD-”Rex, it’s okay. I don’t think she’s here for you. I think she’s here for me.”

  44. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    If the jokes in Shoe seem to be getting cornier, it’s because one of the newer hires — Doug Gamble — is a former gag writer for Bob Hope:

    http://www.douggamble.com/bio.htm

  45. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Gil: Does the peacock belonging to this guy really make it any less likely that it is the reincarnated soul of Scott’s dead bro? They’re not a native species to the northern American midwest region, so someone had to bring it from India.

  46. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    “Have you, by chance, seen a peacock?”

    “No, but I’ve seen a cock pee!”

  47. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    A3G:
    Tommie: How do you feel?

    Margo: As if the previous panel was a mirror image. Or are we the mirror image? Oh God, we’re in a bad horror flick. And you’re the homely chick that lives at the end!

  48. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie is REALLY trying to be all Juggs Parker today, but comes up a bit flat.

  49. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#4): “Teacher says every time a Margo coughs, a song writing nurse gets her nubby, unfortunately placed wings.”

    @Ratiocinator (#14): Great. Now I’ve got Sarah Brightman & Hot Gossip’s (I Lost My Heart to a) Starship Trooper stuck in my head. Like that doesn’t happen every couple of weeks or so.

    A3G – “How do you feel?
    To be on your own,
    With no direction home…”

    MW – “So now, less than 5 minutes later, you can go up on a steep hill and look west to Santa Royale, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark – that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. That very moment when John Dill’s heart was ripped from his chest and stomped on by a platitude spoutin’ old biddy.”

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#44): Another writer for the Shoe comic — Bill Linden — talks about how he got into the business:

    http://www.mindywrites.com/2012/03/being-funny-for-money/

  51. tb4000
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Panel two is exactly the type of reaction to the female form you expect from Rex Morgan…..M.D.

  52. Old Folkie
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie has found another way to be out of uniform – at least she finally put down her purse.
    9CL: If the brothers used ARod to hit the cow, she would be safe…

  53. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#172): My favorite iron-deprived commenting at GoComics is when they give the characters advice: “Don’t open that door, Luann. Open the other one.” Or when they go on at length about how terrible a free comic is that they chose to click on.

    Oh, wait. That’s us.

  54. Notebooked
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#46): No words. Just applause.

    GT — “I was nowhere near the belltower! I was drugged! Mind-controlled! He said he’d kill my family! He said he wouldn’t kill my family! I swear to drunk I’m not God! It was the Spaniard! I’m innocent, I tell you, innocent!”

  55. Anonymous
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    A3G Margo’s hand takes advantage of a moment of weakness to lead a mutiny against the head. Not today, Righty!

    Momma Come on now, she’s leaning over into the oven right now, one little kick would do it. You could just say she slipped, no-one would investigate…

    GA You know, just by feeding the phrase ‘mule pimp’ into the intenet, we’ve virtually ensured that within 3 years, TLC will have a new reality series about mule fuckers and the colorful characters that pimp to them. Then how will you be able to sleep at night?!

    GT I feel like this is a set-up for a gross middle-school joke, like next he’s going to say ‘Sorry, I meant a cock pee!‘ and then pisses on his shoes, laughing the whole time.

  56. Notebooked
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#44): Wasn’t practically everyone in the business a gag writer to Bob Hope, with or without their knowledge? (…wait, that might have been Bob Monkhouse. I’m getting my Bobs hobnobbed.)

  57. pugfuggly
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#55):

    damnit! that was me.

  58. Amos Snarkadder
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth, you old cake teaser!

  59. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Won’t you let me take you to the Western picture show
    so I can hold your hand?
    It’s not that I don’t like your house,
    it’s just that doggone man
    and the double-barrel behind the door,
    oh it waits for Carl I know.

    So climb up on ol’ Becky’s back
    and let me take you to the Western picture show.

  60. Amos Snarkadder
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    FW – And I know why! It’s because of my arm, isn’t it?

    MT – Well, Bluegill, takes a big Rod to master a big bass!

    Luann – Yeah. I feel that way about Luann, too.

  61. els
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    So… the fact that a vaccination scar – probably about the size of a pencil point – is visible disturbs Momma enough to comment on it, but the fact that HER DAUGHTER’S KNEES BEND BACKWARD is totally jake?

  62. Mibbitmaker
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    A3G: Expressive and appropriate facial expressions and body language?! A look at Tommie’s waist?! This is not Frank Bolle — it’s a Frank Bolle immitator!

    Momma: Wanna make this strip actually funny? Isolate the third panel pic of Momma, sans dialogue, with the typed part below her. Now that’s funny!

    GA: This is beginning to look like really bad anti-gay marriage propaganda. Well, at least Jack Chick’s art is looking a bit better.

    GT: “No, anytime you’re watching NBC — OF COURSE I MEAN TODAY*!!!”

    *(ironically, “Today” is on NBC!)

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Jump Start — I prefer my coffee without feces, thank you very much.

    But I’d like to think at least some of that “five hundred bucks per pound” goes toward funding elephant sanctuaries in northern Thailand, which is where Black Ivory coffee is produced… by elephants.

  64. Amos Snarkadder
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MW – “We can ride this wave higher!”
    There is no possible way, literally or metaphorically, that I want to imagine John Dill and Mary Worth “riding a wave.”

  65. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#62): Conclusion: Marylou is the peacock.

  66. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    #65 is much funnier when it’s a response to els in #61. Or not.

  67. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#56): If there were any jokes to be stolen, Milton Berle (a/k/a “Uncle Milty”) was probably at the head of the line.

  68. pugfuggly
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    ASM Hmmm…a scathing critique of America’s use of drones or just another silly plot device? All I know is that if this storyline ends without Spidey riding that missile like Major Kong, I’m going to be very disappointed.

    FW At the risk of sounding somewhat sexist…..really? Are you patting yourself on the back for breaking the glass ceiling of ‘high school band director’? Maybe it’s just that when I was in school in the 80s/90s virtually every band director I met at competitions was a woman, but seizing the great baton of the patriarchy just doesn’t seem that impressive.

    MT is surely the king of bizarrely constructed sentences. “I could use the money, but Rod has already caught several large bass…so I guess I don’t need the money then? What were we talking about?”

    MW It’s true, the social cohesion of Santa Royale is so weak that if Mary left, even just for a few months, the entire city would be beset by mobs starved for pop psychology and dubiously-sourced quotes. It’s just like last year when Wilbur went on that cruise and caused the Great Southern California Bologne Collapse that affected everything from the kettle chip industry to pimentos ranchers.

  69. bbofun
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    ASM-That is either an enormous missile or one that is very, very slow. In either case, Newspaper Spider-man has NO chance of avoiding it.

    A3G- “I was in a magical land- and you weren’t there, Tommie! You weren’t there, and you weren’t there, and you weren’t there! It was so magical!”

    FW- But- this is a convention for band directors and music teachers, right? why would you bring the band there? Is the band there this year?Are the kids having adventures running around the hotel? Is there ANYTHING going on elsewhere that is even SLIGHTLY entertaining?

    Oh, wait, no. This is FUNKY WINKERBEAN. Nothing entertaining is going on in the whole world. (Dear God, you realize this means another week of music puns, right? There’s not enough gin in the world…)

    GT- And, as Peacock Boy realizes it really is just a peacock, not his brother, resurrected, his entire belief system shatters. He goes through a crisis of faith, and begins to teach others that the world is merely a bleak, mundane place, devoid of all magic, and that there is no other-worldly force watching over us. But then he comes to realize- he improved his game with NO outside help- no supernatural agency was responsible! He needs no god, avian or otherwise, to be happy! He is a a human being, complete, whole- and he can do whatever he sets his mind to!

    MW- John morphs into Droopy Dog when sad.

    RMMD- This strip makes me happy. Rex has suddenly become Jerry Lewis. “We have a sit-u-A-tion! Oh, the lady and the towel and the NAKED! Oyyyy!”

    9CL- “They’re clearly not Yankee fans” makes absolutely no sense in this this situation, and I will give 5 shiny internet pennies to anyone who can prove otherwise.

    Pibgorn- So, remember, children- all women have to bring to the table is sex. But that’s okay, because men will do anything for sex.

  70. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Looks like somebody is going to get a ride in a van.

  71. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#12): Is your ratio backwards? If every moment/minute there is a death, but it takes longer than a moment/minute for a birth, eventually the population will decrease.

  72. LoFoMoFo
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    JP: “Well Randy, in some primitive cultures the marriage bed is always shared with the wife and bride groom’s mother on the first night as a young man’s initiation into married life. And the judge gets to watch.”

  73. Alte Ziege
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex, you’re a frickin physician. Act like one. Didn’t they teach you how to deal with this kind of behavior in medical school? Was your residency in Pathology? What a jerk.

    A3G: Nice hospital. Margo has shock lung, unconscious, no monitors, no ventilator or even supplemental O2, a drink glass sitting on the bedside table of an unconscious patient. They deserve a nurse with Tommie’s skills.

  74. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Is there a pun in there? Are they just making fun of female flutists? Was the real punchline supposed to be Dinkle saying “Some of those Westview chicks should be playing the skin flute. Heh heh.”

    Editors: We saved your job AGAIN, Batuik.

    Batuik: But it’s not funny this way.

    Editors: Your fans are used to it.

  75. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Alte Ziege (#73): They teach a med-school course on how to deal with naked strippers in your hotel room? With your wife there? I should study up and teach that course. When my wife walks in, I’ll say “But, Honey, I’m doing research!!”

  76. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Oops, I commented on FW from days ago. Damn you Darkgate, for not updating on time.

  77. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: Wizer discovers what it’s like to be Margo Magee’s boyfriend.

    The Amazing Spider-Man: I can imagine we’re going to spend the next week with Spidey and Daredevil bickering like an old married couple while the missile floats gently toward them like the Graf Zeppelin. The onlookers below will go from shock to amusement to checking their watches and finally leaving in disgust, assuming they can read about it in tomorrow’s Chronicle.

    Apt. 3-G: Tommie, having used up all her excuses for neglecting her friends, has decided to just Dougie into random rooms. She’s surprised and a bit disappointed to find that one of them contains Margo.

    Bizarro: Fact check: Benjamin Franklin died before the main city in the District of Columbia was named “Washington.” Washington himself was still alive, and wanted the place to be called “Federal City.” On the other hand, he wanted the district to incorporate Alexandria, Virginia, where he and his family just happened to own real estate. Also, the place was originally settled 4,000 years ago by native tribes. Who knew?

    9 Chickweed Lane: No, I’d say if you’re in New Hampshire, they’re Red Sox fans. If they lived in the north of the state, I’d say maybe they were Expo fans, but nobody was an Expo fan, ever.

    Frank and Ernest: Has a much better baseball joke than McEldowney. What? Don’t act so surprised.

    Heathcliff: Given the Romney joke in today’s strip, we can estimate that Heathcliff’s lead time is at least three-and-a-half months.

    The Lockhorns: More fact checking: dunno about a SWAT team (they’d probably use ATF or FBI teams), but the IRS does in fact employ police officers.

    Mary Worth: Any minute now, Mr. Whipple is going to start quoting “Light My Fire.”

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Rex: I never saw a peacock! June: Eek! Honey: Eh. Sure, why not.

    Oh man, the awesome is starting up again on Scary Go Round.

    Slylock Fox: 9, the tenth took me way longer than it should.

    IIRC, Ziggy‘s bird’s name is Josh, and yes, Josh has way more Twitter followers than him. Well, maybe not Ziggy Marley.

  78. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: “In fact hair of dog would really hit the spot right now.”
    “Margo, where did you hide that flask?”
    “A girl’s got to have her secrets.”

    Momma: “I think you’re a character in Momma, so skimpy swimsuits are entirely pointless.”

    MW: John Dill has a definite Vincent Price thing going on today, which determines the voice in which I hear his dialogue. Inevitably he’ll start baking and decorating huge cakes with his enemies buried inside.

    C-Shaft: Well at least he’s cracking people up inside the strip.

    9CL: Look at the thick beards on those no-goodniks. Brooke may find his true calling when he eventually takes over Mark Trail. Of course within the first month readers would be overdosed on Mark/Cherry sex scenes.

    RMMD: Notice that Rex doesn’t even bother with the “not what it looks like” protests because duh! There’s no way in Hell it could be what it looks like, and June knows it.

    BB: The more popular expression is “scared the pants off of…” For some reason they didn’t go with that one.

    GT: Better come clean, son. That peacock is wanted in six states for passing counterfeit fifties.

    DtM: “Thank God I only have tiny little coals, because real eyes would really be hurting right about now.”

    SFx: Miss Fox thinks that Slylock put a plastic spider under her ear, but just for asshole fun he threw a real one on there.

    Lockhorns: Tomorrow’s panel will show Leroy and Loretta firing M16s at a black helicopter, I’m guessing.

  79. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#77):

    If they lived in the north of the state, I’d say maybe they were Expo fans, but nobody was an Expo fan, ever.

    Aw, c’mon. The Expos have to gain some points for hiring Spaceman Lee after he proved too cool for the Sox.

  80. Mark B.
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Pooch Cafe: is that a ‘They Live’ reference? Really obscure, and I’m amazed I got it. John Carpenter must be grinning this morning.

  81. Lenoxus
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    A3g: Note the grammar. Margo doesn’t feel like she has a hangover, she feels like she is one. Like someone who moonlights as Death, “Margo Magee” is in fact the personification/avatar of hangovers; people don’t really get hangovers, they get Margos. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

  82. Hibbleton
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I think it’s safe to say Honey’s not carrying a concealed weapon.

  83. Marc
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    9CL- Because Yankees fans have never seen a cow? Beats the hell out of me.

    A3G- It appears that the alien inside of Tommie is desperately trying to escape. I guess she’s as bland and boring on the inside as she is on the outside.

    Mark Trail- You know, a sudden, hard stop would be a good way to send Rusty flying through the windshield. Just saying….

    Mary Worth- I don’t know why but John’s crushing disappointment face is hilarious to me.

    Funky- “But we still have a long way to go when it comes to hiring more one armed band directors.”

    Luann- Oh good, another opportunity for Crystal to act like a giant, uncaring bitch when her supposed best friend needs somebody to lean on.

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Frazz: *snurk* it’s mid-winter “Planning Day” at the local school here today.

    AD: gunpowder jokes? really?

    Doons: redaction is funny, amirite?

    rCdS: can’t mention the wine, but it is shown. *gigglez*

    Lio: *snurk* complete with a hairslot in the helmet.

    SBp: guest written by Sequitur.

    Blondie: sponsored today by ESPN Classics.

    DT: Mole is good at ground-and-pound.

    JUMBLE: “Bloody miracle” doesn’t fit.

    MG&G: /headdesk

    Ghost-who-improved-by-bats :[: awaits improvement.

    RMMD: ROFL! nicely censored by composition.

    RwO: works for the upper Midwest as well.

    SFx: sorry, too busy looking at the foxy teacher.

    Retail: *snurk*

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .getting all liquored up together.

  86. TheDiva
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oooh, tough luck, Tommie. Should have pushed the pillow in her face while you had the chance.

    GA: I’m going to ignore the general squick of the main plot and ask, why does this man have a corncob pipe wedged in his facial hair?

    GT: Today’s phrase to work into conversation: “Have you by any chance seen a peacock?”

  87. Northernlurker
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I’m part of the good doctor’s reaction is that he’s never seen a hardwood floor before.

  88. Will
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    A3G: This strip confuses me. We saw a few wisps of smoke and a couple of feeble flames, but the dialog said that Greg got severe burns and Margo had smoke inhalation. Then in the hospital, the head nurse made it sound like Margo should have the undertaker in to measure her up for a coffin, but today’s strip shows her without any ICU-type medical equipment and thinking she has a hangover. Which is it?
    H&L: The holiday is Washington’s Birthday.

  89. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#77):

    Mary Worth: Any minute now, Mr. Whipple is going to start quoting “Light My Fire.”

    Or, maybe…
    Boom laka-laka-laka, boom laka-laka-laka…
    *cue the sax solo*
    I wanna take you higher…

  90. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Will (#88): Yes, I agree. Wouldn’t you expect Margo would at least be a little crisp around the edges?
    And who did her hair?

  91. Joshua
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    GA: I don’t know how the will was drafted, but married normally means legally married, not entered into a fake interspecies marriage. And there were, in fact, about six women who were willing to marry Rufus to get a share of his inheritance. Rufus rejected them because they were all “too greedy, money hongry an’ downright long in the tooth!” But then, Rufus himself is willing to marry a mule on the belief that it will get him $100,000, so who exactly is the greedy one here? I keep hoping for a strip where Rufus will go to a preacher who will tell him, “No, you can’t marry a mule! Forget about it!”

    Note to Rufus: Have a prenup written and marry a human being.

  92. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    DT — I’m relieved now that it looks like Mole will survive his encounter with Sweatbox. Because no Whac-A-Mole is good Whac-A-Mole!

  93. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#68):

    At the risk of sounding somewhat sexist…..really?

    You don’t really sound sexist. Becky is playing martyr over having been slightly more of a statistical anomaly than she is now.

  94. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78):

    Inevitably he’ll start baking and decorating huge cakes with his enemies buried inside.

    “The Beauty of Premature Burial”
    The man really knows how to work a theme, doesn’t he?

  95. Chip
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Welcome Uncle Lumpy!

    A3G: Margo IS waking from a bender! If you recall: It’s New Years Eve (Day, now) and she had a snoot full! Happy New Year!

    And not to pile on, but Rufus had a bunch of willing ladies who were all after his money! His choice was Miss Melba, who’s out of town. Kind of Scary that his second choice is a mule!

  96. Cloudbuster
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    9CL: As a horse and cattle owner, I’ve started this post over three times so far. There’s so much I’d like to say on this issue, but suffice it to say that McEldowney’s cartoony caricature of the evil cattle owners does nothing to help the situation. Abuse is bad and I don’t tolerate it. It’s also true that people who don’t work daily with thousand-pound-plus animals that have the ability to pulverize you in the blink of an eye aren’t qualified to understand exactly what qualifies as abuse. A large-animal veterinarian would be someone who obviously would be qualified. But McE isn’t a vet, he just has a character who is one. A veterinarian has many legal, legitimate options for dealing with witnessing a case of animal abuse. I can view the exact same situation in my minds eye and McE is writing it exactly as I can imagine it being written by someone who isn’t actually experienced with handling cattle. It’s very frustrating for me to read.

  97. TheDiva
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    9CL: Because…Yankees fans don’t hit cows? Yankees fans would have used another blunt object to hit a cow rather than risking damage to their precious bats? Yankees fans would have beaten Brooke with bats instead? (No wait, that’s just humanity in general.)

    C’shaft: The only way I want to see Crankshaft in Driver’s Ed is as a featured player in one of those cautionary filmstrips.

    FW: Maybe that’s because he didn’t look like a teenaged boy.

    Luann: Oh, goody. I was reading last week’s strips and thinking, “You know, all this treating Luann like a super-special snowflake even though she’s an ungrateful brat is nice and all, but what we really need is some aggressive and hypocritical slut-shaming of Tiffany to go along with it.” Good to see Evans is on top of things.

    Marvin: Marvin’s worst nightmare is a sentient pile of shit. Is anybody surprised?

    MW: “You don’t understand the pressures of my life, John! I have roses to prune! Pithy quotes to deliver! Jeff’s proposals to reject!”

    Retail: Admit it, you wouldn’t be able to resist either.

    SM: He has the proportional stating-the-obvious ability of a spider.

  98. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#91): This is Rufus we’re talking about. I’m not sure he’s even allowed to use a knife and fork, so requiring him to enter into a marriage contract is just asking for trouble.

  99. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96):

    yes. i raise cattle, too, and sometimes you have to do something that you know would look bad to a layperson, so to speak… and sometimes the vet has to as well.

  100. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Joshua (#91): It’s telling that it never occurred to Rufus to ask Gertie
    (Uncle Walt’s caregiver) to “marry up” with him. Which means even Rufus
    has standards.

  101. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

  102. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

  103. Marylou Hobbs
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63): According to Wikipedia, Black Ivory coffee is “produced by twenty elephants at the Golden Triangle Asian Elephant Foundation, an elephant refuge that cares for rescued elephants. 8% of coffee sales go to the Golden Triangle Asian Elephant Foundation, which is used to fund the elephants’ healthcare.”

    I hope this puts your mind at ease, Rocky.

  104. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#52): *SNURK*

    well played, Red Sox Nation, well played.

  105. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Yep, big kitty, the guy in the Spandex with the mask is the same one who repeatedly shot you with drugged arrows and then cut your neck open. Bon apetit!

    A3G: Who is drawing the strip today? I might believe that Frank Bolle chooses to show us that Tommie stuffs her bra with Kleenex that has now slipped out, but I find it hard to believe that he has finally forgotten what Margo looks like. I could swear the person in the hospital bed is Mary Worth’s old nemesis, Nola Woolverton.

    FW: Maybe they assumed Becky was the chaperon because all the other band leaders at the convention had always been taught that you use two hands in conducting, and you use both hands particularly in teaching children how to play their instruments? Actually, that could go a long way towards explaining the Westview band’s unique sound, just sayin’.

    GT: “Um… do you mean Today?” You’re dating yourself, kid. The Today show dropped the NBC peacock a long time ago.

    FW: Maybe Yankee fans with baseball bats are incapable of hitting the cowhide? Yeah, I got nothing either.

  106. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    9CL — I’m baffled, too. Maybe “Yankee” here means “New Englander”? But that doesn’t really take the jokiform utterance any closer to humor.

  107. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#105): Er, that should be 9CL rather than FW, obviously. But I still got nothin’ either way.

  108. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#2): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#36): @Marc (#83):

    MT – The day Jackelrod choose to make seat belts exempt from mandatory use in the southern part of the state was the same day the lost forest automobile company started manufacturing those silly looking cars with roofs tall enough that adolesent mutants could stand up inside them while traveling. And yes, just as Marc touched upon in comment #85, Jackelrod was recently spotted at a confessional while admitting to thoughts of how easy it would be for Mark to stomp on the brakes and watch Rusty go sailing by.

  109. Missal
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Momma: A 20-plus-year-old strip that still isn’t funny. Now we know that Mell Lazarus WASN’T ahead of his time.

  110. Not-Pope Dan
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#89): Perhaps:

    Teachers keep on teachin’
    Preachers keep on preachin’
    World keep on turnin’
    Cause it won’t be too long…

  111. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @WeatherServo9 (#38): The truth is even stranger. All of Apartment 3-G has been imagined by Blaze while staring at a snow globe.

  112. Mikey
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#106): Clearly this a plea for help to bats [: Someone needs to help this strip make sense once in a while.

  113. pugfuggly
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#93):

    You don’t really sound sexist. Becky is playing martyr over having been slightly more of a statistical anomaly than she is now.

    When did she start teaching? I can’t think of a time in recent memory when a woman music teacher would have raised the eyebrows of even the most reactionary misogynists. Unless maybe she did her teaching practicum in Saudi Arabia or something? That would certainly explain the ‘male chaperone’.

  114. Not-Pope Dan
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Oh, man. Now I gotta get me some Stevie Wonder. How do I not have “Higher Ground” in my collection?

  115. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    MT – “Still wanna go fishing, Rusty?”
    “Oh, boy oh boy!! CAN I Mark? Can I, CAN I?!!!”
    “Sure, Rusty. See that fishing spot straight ahead? Well, all YOU have to do is keep standing in the back seat and as I approach the fishing spot I will hit the breakes and you will be fishing in moments!”
    “Oh, BOY OH BOY!! I am SO excited and happy that the big smile on my face makes it hard for me to keep my eyes open!”
    “It would probably be a good idea to keep them closed, Rusty!”

  116. The Ridger
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#113): Yes, when I was in junior high in the 60s our band director was a woman.

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9): ASM: A missile. A very, very, very slow-moving missile. Daredevil is sure able to do a lot of talking in between the time it becomes visible and the time it closes the distance and hits him.

    What a clever idea! I used to work with naval anti-missile defense systems. All modern close-in defense systems are designed to work in fully autonomous mode. The system has its own radar, and if it detects an object approaching the ship at more than a hundred knots or so, it will automatically engage and destroy it. If you could design a missile that could fly very slowly, it would simply be ignored by Phalanx or RAM missiles. Diabolical!

  118. AhClem
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    A3G – The day after being admitted to intensive care for asphyxiation coma, Margo is lying comfortably in bed with no tubes, oxygen, IV drip, EKG monitor or any other sort of medical equipment. When I get sick, please send me to this miracle hospital, costs be damned!

  119. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#118):

    The day after being admitted to intensive care for asphyxiation coma, Margo is lying comfortably in bed …

    An entire Margo can be regenerated from a single intact cell. This is why one should be very careful with explosives when she is nearby.

  120. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    When multiple Margos regenerate, they fight one another until only the strongest survives. This has happened many, many times.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#106): The only way it makes sense, to me, is that “Yankee fan” is intended as a synecdoche for baseball enthusiast. Therefore, the two farmers have baseball bats not because they like playing baseball, but because baseball bats are well suited to fustigating other things, like cows.

  122. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#15): Sorry for making you wait, but here ya go, and hope it helps!

  123. Chyron HR
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    9CL – The joke is that the men are beefwits.

    (No, I haven’t seen today’s comic, but I still feel pretty secure in my assessment.)

  124. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MT – “Here, Bluegill, why don’t you try one of MY lures tommorow? Maybe it will bring you luck.”

    “But, all this is is an old silver foil gum wrapper, Mark. As a matter of fact it looks like the type of gum wrapper that people chew to quit smoking. I don’t get it, Mark.”

    “Hey, those gum wrappers have done some amazing things like sending bush pilots and beautiful widows off to prison while my fishing buddy, er, I mean an innocent victim (Mark chuckles sarcastically) was set free from prison! Looky here, Bluegill, all you do is simply wrap the foil around your hook, drop it in the pond and you’re good to go!”

    “COOL! So, you’re saying this foil gum wrapper lure can win this tournament for me and afterwards I can use it to be set free from prison after murdering Rod Bassy?”

    “Um, something like that, but only if you hire ME to do the investigating part, plus I will have to arrainge extended stays with you in your prison cell until you are released.”

    “COOL! KEEN, NEAT-O! YOU da man, Mark Trail! Yessirree, YOU da Man!!”

    “THAT’S why they pay me the BIG bucks, Blugill! See? THERE’S one of my BIG bucks now, COME HERE BOY, that’s a good boy!!”

  125. TheDiva
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96): McEldowney is just approaching the issue of livestock care the way he approaches everything else: by assuming his designated protagonists are right and good and justified in everything they do, and anybody who opposes them is an uncouth brute who needs to be put in their place. It’s nothing personal, you understand.

  126. Austria
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    This is the most beautiful Rex Morgan in many a moon.

  127. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Am I the first to point out that Gil Thorpe’s peacock wrangler looks like the biological father of Mark Trail’s Rusty? Not to mention Alfred E. Neuman?

  128. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9):

    If Josh were here I would beg him–BEG him–to start another photo contest with Mudgeons mimicking Rex!

    The part where somebody mimics Honey would be fun too, but I think I’d get slapped a lot trying to find a volunteer.

  129. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#12): I remember reading that somewhere, but I didn’t know that Tennyson had actually changed the line. I think “moment” works better aesthetically anyway.

    I once wrote to Joni Mitchell, care of her record company, concerning the line in Big Yellow Taxi that goes:

    They took all the trees and put ‘em in a tree museum
    And they charged all the people a dollar and a half just to see ‘em.

    I pointed out that the correct word for “tree museum” is arboretum. It would scan the same, and be more elegant.

    She never replied.

    // Some folks just can’t take a constructive suggestion.

  130. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Apropos of a recent discussion between Nehemiah Scudder and myself, a retired Lego mold.

  131. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#123): Beef hits by beefwits? Yeah, probably.

  132. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#22): Oh man, that album takes me back to freshman year of high school. Haven’t put it on in ages, maybe I should. Such an underrated talent.

  133. odinthor
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    #2. Droopy.

    Judge Parker: Randy is taking his parents on his honeymoon? Good, maybe they’ll finally teach him about the birds and the bees. I assume they know that bit themselves, although I could be proved wrong here.

    Remember about the hundred monkeys, the typewriters, and the complete works of Shakespeare? . . .

  134. Ian Beste
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): Ah, clearly Amerikanski rocket designer is not knowing of new Russian SS-N-36 “Saunter” low-speed wander-and-smack missile. Is brilliant!

  135. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#77): Yay, Scary Go Round!

    Remember, kids: Use the phrase “going walnut” at least once today!

  136. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#102): Exactly the trope I thought of, although I’d never looked at the page before this and didn’t know it had the exact quote I quoted.

    Still able to kill Willing Suspension Of Disbelief if it’s too blatant, though. (Standard TV Tropes warning is in effect for clicking on that link, and queek’s.)

    @Droopy Says (#26): I had to check on this to be sure since I haven’t followed baseball in years, but the Yankees did very well during the last season. And unless they had really great pitching to make up for it, that means they didn’t have trouble hitting the ball. So it’s most likely the last thing about Brooke just not knowing what he’s talking about.

    @cholling (#29):

    Mule marriage in Gasoline Alley…

    One very good reason to marry a mule, or at least to stay on its good side if you don’t swing that way, is that mules are well-known for their ability to provide you with all the zippers you could ever need.

    @Hogenmogen (#40):

    Missles don’t have maneuverability through narrow streets and around buildings, and they certainly don’t have a programmed “lock on dude in spandex” mode.

    Comic book technology is amazing, isn’t it?

    But really, if the Kingpin literally “poisoned” Daredevil by injecting him with something that let the missile home in on him (nanites or somesuch, I don’t know), why not just inject him with poison and make him die that way? It would be a lot less expensive.

    @els (#61): I think she’s just glad that her offspring doesn’t have Giant Garfield Character Eyes.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78):

    …Mark/Cherry sex scenes.

    Those words do not ever go together in that combination! Not unless we’re talking about a completely different Mark that has even a tiny shred of a libido.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117):

    …The system has its own radar, and if it detects an object approaching the ship at more than a hundred knots or so, it will automatically engage and destroy it…

    Of course, and Daredevil has a “radar sense”…it all adds up! The Kingpin is a GENIUS!

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#128): You’ll never know until you try! ;)

  137. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Maybe that leisurely paced missile coming toward Spidey and Daredevil is actually the Goodyear Blimp. Even with an angry, stressed out Bruce Dern at the helm, it still has a pretty weak top speed.

  138. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    SM: That’s not a missile. It’s one of those silver things that my wife has, just bigger. She’d really get a kick out of this!

  139. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96): @jim, some guy in iowa (#99): Thanks. I can hardly wait til we get to the part of the story where we learn that her only option was to steal the cow.

  140. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    GA — For one brief shining moment a few days ago when Becky looked shocked/horrified upon hearing Rufus’s proposal, I thought that GA contained one intelligent mammal. So much for that.

  141. SurrealKangaroo
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Is Momma too fixated on her daughter’s vaccination scar to notice that her knee is bending backwards?

  142. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#101): Why didn’t anyone explain that dating rule to me before now?!

  143. Gal Friday
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G Um, Margo, it’s not like a hangover, it is a hangover–you were dumped in bed drunk. . .

  144. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

  145. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#144): I didn’t say that! Well, I did, but I meant it that Spiderman said that. Like I was speaking for Spiderman, you know? Really. I didn’t mean that …. You darn well know what I didn’t mean.

  146. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    A3G — The sad thing is that Tommie uses “It’s me — Tommie!” even when she visits her parents, having learned the hard way that it’s necessary.

  147. Ian Beste
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96): I am in complete agreement here. If one is raising cattle, one is making a living off them. They are your stock in trade, your live stock, hence the term. You do not, as much as you can, damage your stock. Cattle don’t have much in of natural defenses. The horns, yes, but they are a close-in, last-ditch defense. Cattle are big, not too graceful, not terribly smart (at least compared to goats, but, to be fair, smarter then sheep), generally peaceful and respond to threats by running away. Even with bulls, in my experience you have to do something to annoy them to get them to come after you. You control cattle by polling the horns, putting them in a halter, or, if not in a halter, by standing off a little distance and herding them. This can be accomplished from horseback or by the use of quick, well-trained dogs. If necessary in a close-in situation, you use a cattle prod, today mostly in the form of an electric tool that uses a sharp jolt of a non-lethal amount of electricity. (Yes, I’ve seen cattle-roping, and while it isn’t pretty, in one situation it was immediately necessary because a steer had gotten loose and run into a horse barn, panicking the equine occupants.) You do not use large bludgeoning devices that might break bones, damage the skin or underlying tissue or cause internal bleeding. That is stupid stock management. Large-animal vets, trained from vet school to be aware of the economic aspect of animal care, are well-aware of how cattle and other livestock are handled. (I’ve heard small-animal vets comment negatively on the economic emphasis.) In fact, a vet is a in a good position to correct bad animal-handling by pointing out the cost of such handling whether in dollars or cents or in potential legal problems.

  148. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#116): “when I was in junior high in the 60s our band director was a woman.” – what gender is she today?

  149. Jeff Lichtman
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Gertrude Stein was writing about the house in Oakland where she grew up, not the city of Oakland as a whole. She had returned and found the house was gone, thus, “there was no there there.”

  150. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Daredevil: A missile headed this way!

    SM: What are we going to do?

    DD: I suggest forming an exploratory committee to present the options to an independent coucil!

    SM: Appointed, or elected by the board?

    DD: Since time is of the essence, appointed, of course!

    SM: I move that you, Daredevil, chair the ad-hoc group to issue two requests for proposals. One must be an environmental impact survey, and one is to a feasilbilty study.

    DD: I accept, and second the motion.

    SM: All in favor?

    DD: Ay-
    BOOM

  151. Marc
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G- How can anyone in their right stand to be around Tommie? Between the total lack of personality and the haircut, I feel like counting the holes in ceiling tiles is more exiciting.

  152. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#147):

    All that, plus I have never heard of farmers anywhere who would deliberately piss off their veterinarian.

  153. Here come the Judge
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    How does Momma use the burners on the top of the stove?

  154. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#130): Hah! 120 million bricks. Cool. Where’d you find that?

    So, at 25 cents for a 2×3 brick, that mold made Lego $30,000,000.

    // I realize, that while it is possible to buy single bricks from Lego, few people do. But I’m using police narcotics methods of calculation. If the cops catch a guy with 2.205 pounds of pot, for instance, they figure that a single joint could be sold for ten bucks, somewhere, and each joint would have 0.5 grams of marijuana, so that’s a $20,000 bust.

  155. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark is trying to play the naive, unsuspecting, open minded journalist, but he’s really running around with a non-objective axe to grind. He’s friends with one of the contestants, and he’s on top of Bassy like tar on the bottom of a shoe.

    “Rod, I’ll just come along with you while you fish today!”
    “Rusty, let’s just non-chalantly take pictures of Rod Bassy’s car!”
    “Rod, excuse me as I casually ask probing questions about your fishing success!”
    “Rod, I look forward to watching you fish tomorrow!”
    “Rusty, make sure you take pictures of the inside of Mr. Bassy’s car, including the contents of the trunk and glove compartment! Check the oil level, registration information and dust for fingerprints so we can run them against Interpol’s forensic database!”

  156. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#154): Ten bucks for a joint? Wow, prices really have gone up since I…. since I.. heard about prices… from unnamed sources with whom I did not associate.

  157. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#154): “police narcotics methods of calculation.”

    I’ve seen that in action. 1 kilo of coke seized at local airport = $1 million bust.

  158. mary_worthless
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    MOMMA: This really helps to DATE Momma’s strips. Smallpox vaccinations haven’t been given in the US (routinely) in over 40 yrs. I have a scar (age 58). My 40-yr. old son does not. FWIW.

    A3G: here’s Margo, who is in such a condition that a nurse suggests that Tommie notify her family. No IV or other lines, no monitors, no nothing….but sheer MARGO!

  159. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Anyone could write up a “vet kidnaps abused animal to protect it” story. But only McE could do it in the most pretentious, overly-dramatic manner possible.

    “Dear friend, I have grave news for you, news that may involve criminal acts!”

    “Oh, goodness. Surely, this is the most serious matter to ever occur. Immediately, I must call my daughter so that she, too, may soak in the drama!”

    “Daughter! Hop a caboose and come up now! I don’t care if you finally found a new job after being fired from your last one for running off at the spur of the moment for no good reason! This could be important!”

    “Now, where was I? Oh, yes, the drama! Lay it on, and let no cliche be left behind!”

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#156): I was making a guess that you could sell a joint for ten bucks at a hip trendy nightclub in Manhattan. I might have been low-balling it.

    // It has been a long time since since I, um, heard any reliable information on the subject, also.

  161. debussy fields
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    MW– “Two weeks ago you would have jumped for joy if someone had told you we’d win the big prize. Now you want more.” “Yes, Mary, I do want more. I want to go to New York, to ride waves I’ve never before imagined exist! I see myself as the toast of the town in the Big Apple. As a guest on Oprah. As one of the Republican crazies running for president in 2016!” “John, I think you’d better calm the fuck down.”

  162. Joshua
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Roy (#24): The third panel of this strip is marked “OLDIE FROM THE 1980S.”

  163. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#93):
    Yah. If a male nurse is mistaken for an orderly, can I get my own comic strip?

  164. The Ridger
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#139): And leave the calf behind, apparently. Although that’s par for the course with dairy calves, though can BMcE really know that?

  165. The Ridger
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#148) Dead, actually.

  166. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): The Pentagon’s classified weapons department called to speak with you. They said something about sending a car for you along with an armed homeland security team. Probably no big deal.

  167. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    GT: Panel 4 dialogue: “No, I mean April 14, 1974, you dipshit.”

  168. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#142): guys-only rule.

    if the lady shows up sans pants, it’s generally considered a successful date.

    ;-)

  169. The Ridger
    February 18th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#165): And the current band director there is a man.

  170. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#165): Well, that’s right in keeping with the tone of FW. (Couldn’t you have prepared us a little for this news instead of just blurting it out? ‘She hadn’t been very well lately…’ or something. Geesh.)

  171. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#152): Interesting point. In some parts of the country, there are shortages of large-animal vets, and deliberately pissing them off would seem imprudent. I know a vet who works mostly with companion animals but has helped another vet do cattle work. She has met some maddeningly clueless and irresponsible cat and dog owners, but the farmer equivalent, not so far.

  172. Hogenmogen
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#136): I can’t believe it took this long for one of us long-time CCers to pull “MORE ZIPPERS, MULE” out of the closet. Damn. It’s like an earworm, but it’s just a phrase, boucing around in your head until you throw it at someone in a fit of incomprehensibility. Tonight at dinner, Mrs. Mogen will ask if I want any more broccoli. “MORE ZIPPERS, MULE!” And I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

  173. Cloudbuster
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#147): Spot-on. They aren’t quite as graceless as they are stereo-typed as being, though. Especially young cattle and bulls (nursing cows are handicapped by their udders).

    One of my steers is bottle-raised and quite friendly, whereas most of my cattle are shy of human contact. He’s the dangerous one, because he’s not afraid of people! He’ll get it into his mind that he wants to play with you. What a steer calls “play” we call “Oh God, is that my femur poking out?”

    I’ve had to pick up whatever comes to hand and smack him on the nose with it, because it’s just dangerous to my life and health when a thousand-pound steer wants to frolic with me! You have to stop him before it gets to the point where your lying there with a broken leg and some cracked ribs and he’s standing there wondering “Why you not playing with me anymore?”

    But for the most part, you just work with their natural instincts. Lure them towards things you want them to go toward with grain. Gently herd them toward things with horses and dogs (or we use non-electric stock sticks or paddles). When you want them to go into a chute or squeeze gate, you want to make any other direction look less pleasant than the gate. Mostly noise and crowding, but sometimes a little physical discomfort, such as with a cattle prod or crop. But certainly not by doing physical damage!

  174. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#152): Thanks for your excellent classic list under GT, by the way. If you ever see GOOD PEOPLE, you can add “Who threw that bird at me??!”

  175. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

  176. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#21): @Joshua (#162): You are right! They actually labeled it “oldie from the eighties”!

    I hadn’t noticed it before. (I have trained myself not to look at Momma too closely, if at all.) Well, give them credit, they are decent enough to tell us when they are recycling, unlike some other allegedly humorous strips. But why in the world, if they are too lazy to come up with a new gag and drawing, didn’t they find an old one that was actually funny?

    // Oh, yeah. Nevermind. There AREN’T any.

  177. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#168): …and if a lady shows up WITHOUT pants it generally considered an even better date!

  178. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#175): I used to have a waffel iron that looked just like that!

  179. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#147):

    agreed. i get a kick out of the idea small animal vets are a bit put off by the economic emphasis, though. one of the vets that works on my cattle told me a story that happened during his preceptorship at a small animal clinic. he was told right off the bat, ‘if these people don’t already see their cat/dog/whatever as part of the family, it’s your job to see that they do’. the example he gave was once, an elderly woman came in with a semi-tame street cat that had was sick or injured, and she wanted the vet to put it out of its misery. instead, she walked out with the cat, several hundred dollars worth of vet bill my source was sure she couldn’t afford, and a handful of paperwork to fill out so said bill could be put on a payment plan.

    *that’s* the kind of vet i can see working in mc eldowney’s world

  180. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#13): “Anyone else still have a “Charles in Charge” earworm stuck in their heads? ”

    You need to do what I did to deal with these situations. You need to figure out an Earworm Antigen. You have some repulsive song from your past that you built up an immunity to over the years, and intentionally “infect” yourself with that song. Said song will obliterate the current earworm and your natural immunity to the original earworm will enable you to kill it normally.

    (I also thought of using a matter/anti-matter analogy for this concept)

    For me, said Antigen was Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”.

  181. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): GA — For one brief shining moment a few days ago when Becky looked shocked/horrified upon hearing Rufus’s proposal, I thought that GA contained one intelligent mammal. So much for that.

    Poteet, Poteet, Poteet, have you learned NOTHING from my discussion with The REAL Mark Trail yesterday?

    The current Rufus is NOT a mammal — he’s actually a mutant chromodoris reticulata (with a disposable penis) from Japan. Joel named the talking sea slug “Rufus” after he found him clinging to a dock that floated over here in the wake of the 2011 tsunami.

  182. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#142): Meh, if one of my dates wants to break that rule, I’m okay with it.

  183. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: “Randy explains what happened with Katherine and the Judge!”

    That right there, in that terrible little narration box, shows every single thing that’s wrong with strips like these.

    Hey Wilson! WE WERE THERE!

  184. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#136): You have to remember that Mark Trail will have been reconceived as a Creature of Pure Art, and Cherry as his Muse. (“What? Nature writing? Yeah, I guess I can work with that.”) Basically Mark 2.0 is Peter Kiesl with dark hair.

  185. Bill
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MAMMA: Looks like someone had troubled getting all of the paper off of a drinking straw.

  186. Majicou
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Uh… maybe they were Mets souvenir bats, but we weren’t told that?

    Frazz: Ha ha! It’s funny because she’s fat and is therefore a terrible, useless person.

    @Tom Allen (#35): Quite–the original thinking being “Well, we’ll never get this worthless flesh-incubator off our hands unless we bribe some sucker.”

  187. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): Ah yes, you’re describing the missile that penetrates defenses by moving so slowly that no one ever detects that anything has changed. Its code name is “A3G”, and it uses stealth technology to make its lower half invisible. It carries the infamous “Evan” warhead that emits deadly pink smoke when it explodes. Only James Bond can thwart it. (I believe it is being described in a DARPA briefing in today’s Doonesbury.) Expect Daredevil and Spiderman to experience its detonation some time around June 24.

  188. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#186):

    9CL: Uh… maybe they were Mets souvenir bats, but we weren’t told that?

    I think this is about as plausible as any explanation we try to come up with is gonna get.

  189. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#181): I’m willing to buy that, but some other sea slugs might object:-).

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#177): And if both parties show up without pants, it must be Love!

  191. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#180): Thanks! And awaaay we go with “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero.”

  192. Calico
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#88):
    Just gotta suspend disbelief for a while, I guess.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMFKz7IRPnA
    : )

  193. Majicou
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#187): The slow blade penetrates the shield.

  194. bbofun
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    In all the talk about today’s MOMMA, what with how it must be an old strip because people don’t have vaccination scars anymore, etc., i think one point is being missed- Momma is upset that Marylou’s scar is visible because of her skimpy bikini.

    Think about that. Where is her vac-scar(TM) located, then? Did Momma have her children vaccinated in some place other than their arms?

    I apologize for making you think about Marylou’s body. But @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#180) put “Wake Me up Before You Go-Go into my brain, so I’m a little bitter.

  195. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#178): I used to have a waffle iron that looked just like that!

    Had to retire it after 120 million waffles, though. It still worked fine, but I was so sick of waffles by then.

  196. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#179): In some cases, trying to convince people that a certain cat/dog is part of the family may not be appropriate. But I can understand why the advice is often given. My vet encountered a couple who would routinely (they had done it several times) adopt a kitten from a newspaper ad, let it grow up in their house until it was a year old so their kids could have fun with a kitten, and then dump the year-old cat out on some gravel road because it wasn’t a kitten anymore. They apparently thought this was a normal, typical thing for parents to do. After that and other encounters along the same line, my vet is still sane and calm. I wouldn’t be.

  197. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#180):

    The worst earworms (like Charles in Charge) end on a note or phrase that serves as a lead-in to the beginning. Good antidotes end conclusively on a phrase that doesn’t: the Old Spice jingle usually works for me.

  198. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#164): I just reread 9CL *headdesk* and it seems to imply that although the Smuckling brothers have cattle, they only have one cow. Seems a bit unusual to me, though I’m willing to be educated. The vet calls the cow “Twinkly” (maybe the Smucklings call it “Our Only Cow”), so maybe the vet calls the left-behind calf “Little Star.” I’m starting to wish that Brooke had stuck with the unicorn.

  199. Islamorada Girl
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    GT: Another great excuse I hear covering murder trials: “He needed killin’”.

  200. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 18th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#194): But I gave you a way to counteract the debilitating effect of Wham! right there in the message you referenced!

    Besides, you can’t outgross me. I’m pretty damn immune. After all, I was the one who pointed out, when seeing a book cover of Tom Batiuk’s Saintly Lisa doing her self-exam, that it’d be a lot more fun and visually stimulating to see Holly helping her husband Funky examine his precancerous prostate.

    You’re very welcome.

  201. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    A & J — A pleasant, sane strip about feeding birds with a nice, not mean, cat angle. Arlo is the Anti-Crankshaft.

  202. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#166): @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): The Pentagon’s classified weapons department called to speak with you. They said something about sending a car for you along with an armed homeland security team. Probably no big deal.

    Was it DARPA? No doubt they wish me to assist them in their research. Maybe I’ll get to meet that Doonesbury girl.

    // I love that old Brit euphemism: When a suspect is picked up by the police, he is said to be “assisting them in their inquiries.”

  203. Calico
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#196):
    My gf’s daughter and her partner live in a cul-de-sac with quite a bit of land and a garden, and earlier this year daughter saw 2 bunnies eating basil and clover-they were able to take the little one, but the larger one was probably eaten by a fox.
    The small female bunny is doing well chez elle, and her name is “Perline.” : )
    I believe they were discarded easter gifts-sad.

  204. Doodle Bean
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    What kind of hospital has nurse’s in starched caps and no respiratory support equipment for smoke-inhalation patients who might have lung damage??

  205. Doodle Bean
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Doodle Bean (#204): D’oh! *nurses

  206. Calico
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    I meant to say “earlier last year.” Tempus Fugit.

  207. Shrugos, the Shoulders of Fate
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @els (#61):

    “So… the fact that a vaccination scar – probably about the size of a pencil point – is visible disturbs Momma enough to comment on it, but the fact that HER DAUGHTER’S KNEES BEND BACKWARD is totally jake?”

    Poor kid is the result of a brief liason Momma once had with Torgo.

    ///The Master did not approve. He said that even Torgo should be able to do better.

  208. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    9CL: BTW, good thing Amos wasn’t around, since the phrase “Whaling her from behind” would give him a messy spontaneous orgasm.

  209. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    For earworm relief, try this. It’s a bit rough, but overall a good replacement for what ails ya.

  210. Mikey
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    9CL: maybe they have the bats because Brooke’s head is poking out of the cow’s ass. They’re Red Sox fans and they know Brooke is a Yankee fan or that he writes Pibgorn…

  211. Shrug, whose totem animal is the Snark
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#65):

    “Conclusion: Marylou is the peacock.”

    And the walrus was Paul. Suddenly it all starts to make sense.

    ///Nope, false alarm.

  212. Borborygmy
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#195):

    @Illustrator Steve (#178): I used to have a waffle iron that looked just like that!

    Had to retire it after 120 million waffles, though. It still worked fine, but I was so sick of waffles by then.

    Plus, with body mass approaching ten Plugger units, the IAU was considering granting you dwarf planet status.

  213. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78): I can’t tell which thought entertains me more: 9CL and Pibgorn drawn by the Mark Trail team, or the other way around.

  214. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Today, on an All-Boob-Jokes Edition of Snark from an Alternate Universe:

    BFD: Why are we’re getting another week focusing on the new neighbors? Wait just a minute here… Rocky = rocquefort, Bree = brie, plus Colby, Jack, and a poodle named Camembert… they’re all named after cheeses! This is a backdoor pilot, isn’t it? What’s it gonna be called, “Have a Gouda Day”? Bartlet, you are such a hack. Oh, for sake of the theme: Nice rondeles on Colby there.

    CtC: “No, but if you keep standing that way, I’m sure something will go off soon.”

    FMAM: “Now, if this were a legitimate comic strip, the female has ways of shutting Lunk down.” </akin>

    JitC: Go for it, Jeff! When else are you going to have the chance to ask out a babe whose chest changes size from frame to frame? Who knows what else those magical things can do!

    Littleton: Mr. Snyder, I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don’t you put the computer stylus down and have a seat over here.

    PBD: Check out the prow on that schooner! She’ll shiver his timbers! I’d buckle her swash any day! I bet she’d give you a jolly rogering! [desperately looking for a double-entendre for "Arrrr" here]

    TF: And for contrast, we have this strip, in which a pair of hemispherical boobs is the only way to tell the female characters from the males. I was going to say this is one step above XKCD on the art spectrum, but stick figures would be a step UP for this strip.

    YOG(MD): Christ, what a boob.

  215. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96): Agreed. The vet is acting like an impulsive child, and McE is treating the cow as if it’s this sweet and pleasant creature that has big eyelashes, instead of something that could hurt you quite badly even by accident. (My mother has horses, and I like horses, but I was also raised to have a very healthy respect of large animals with hooves and the skittery reactions of prey.) McE is probably the sort of person who tries to feed the elk at national parks, is all I’m saying.

    What do you suspect that someone handed a PETA flier to McE when he was out wandering the street the other day, and he decided to make a cartoon about it?

    Also: WTF is up with the Burber, in that her reaction to hearing of a brutal beating of an animal is to crack strange jokes about it? It’s like a surreal version of Funky Winkerbean or something. All we need now is the smirk.

  216. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Tom Allen (#35): Unless you’re Jewish…

  217. Shrug, with a Flat Note
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#105):

    FW: “all the other band leaders at the convention had always been taught that you use two hands in conducting, and you use both hands particularly in teaching children how to play their instruments? Actually, that could go a long way towards explaining the Westview band’s unique sound, just sayin’.”

    It also explains their favorite tune from THE MUSIC MAN, “Thirty-eight Trombones.”

  218. Shrug, Shooting Off His Mouth, but Slooooowly
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117):

    DEATH ARMS by K.W. Jeter (which I’ve not read) apparently features such:

    “He is pursued by a “slow bullet,” a missile that follows its intended victim reciting his rights before killing him.”

    Doesn’t Iain Banks’ “Culture” sf series also have something of this sort?

  219. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#123): You couldn’t possibly know how accurate you are, though Twinkly does look more like a milk cow to me.

  220. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#191): I picture Family Circus with “Billy Don’t Be Hero”. How about “Johnny Get Angry”, with the refrain, “I want a brave man, I want a cave man” – Alley Oop, or BC?

  221. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#194): Actually the smallpox vaccination left a pretty sizable mark; in fact, if it didn’t produce a mark, you got revaccinated. My mother’s smallpox vaccination site had a scar the size of a quarter (mine is hard to find, though also on my upper arm). Some mothers asked the doctor to vaccinate their daughters on the upper thigh, thinking about the days of sleeveless dresses and formal gowns. I used to work in a hospital in the 80s and everyone had to show proof of vaccination. Had many a woman hike up her skirt to show me the scar which is called a cicatrix, folks.

  222. Government Cheese
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m a little late in the game to Sir Lumpy’s anecdote regarding Charles in Charge, but I’m hilariously reminded of something my high school teacher Spanish teacher once told our class about the show (and I have no idea how this came up in class, but it did) – she stated “I don’t understand how people can like that show – it makes no sense. Who the hell would want to have some rooty kazooty kid and his mentally handicapped friend take care of their daughters and dork son?” To this day, I have always felt that no words could be truer in regards to CIC.

    I WANT CHARLES IN CHARGE OF ME

    Anyway,

    MW: “I can’t leave this life here in Santa Royale, Dill Pickle, I mean, I have so MUCH going on! Pool parties, Dr. Jeff’s erectile dysfunction, Wilbur’s IBS, the list goes on! Besides, I know I would be quite the catch in New York, all those men looking for sexy cougars like me! A lady must protect herself.”

    Luann: Her underwear is too tight- that’s what’s bugging her.

  223. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Worst earworm ever: Running Bear and Little White Dove. (You’re welcome.)
    //Back in my freshman year of high school, I had “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” stuck in my head for weeks and I wanted to SHOOT MYSELF.
    ///uh oh…

  224. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — for some reason, Rex’s reaction reminds my Capt. Picard — http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab8/hobbit_bucket/smilies%202/Picard-But-She-Said-She-Was-18.jpg

  225. I speak Jive
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#221): I had to be revaccinated several times when I was a child; the doctor had to give me a temporary certificate so I could attend school. The last attempt finally took, according to the doctor, although I do not have a scar.

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): The worst earworm ever is anything by Lou Christie, especially “Lighning Strikes.”

  226. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    NS: Why candles? And how does he keep them lit on the side of a mountain? Nonpossible.

    Speed Bump: WTH? Whiskey Tango Hotel? I just don’t understand kids these days. // They are, like, fubar.

  227. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#225): I had blessedly forgotten Lou Christie, possibly due to the electroconvulsive therapy I underwent to remove Cher from my brain.

  228. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#227): things to be grateful for: Cher and Lou Christie never recorded together. Or so I hope.

  229. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Marvin— The return of a now-malevolent Squishy?

  230. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    someone mentioned earworms?

  231. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): I’ll see your Running Bear and Little Wite Dove and raise you a Pink Shoe Laces.

  232. Baka Gaijin
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#17): WAAAAH! I can’t get Mad here. I can get mad here, not Mad, the magazine.

  233. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#194): Did Momma have her children vaccinated in some place other than their arms?

    I know of at least one person who has a vaccine scar on their butt cheek.
    Yes, I’ve seen it… DADT.

    Although Sonja doesn’t look at her daughter’s butt when she says that her vaccine scar is showing. Conclusion: Marylou Hobbs is so flat even Momma
    can’t tell her front from her back.

  234. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#127) said: “Am I the first to point out that Gil Thorpe’s peacock wrangler looks like the biological father of Mark Trail’s Rusty? Not to mention Alfred E. Neuman?”

    He’s a distant relative at best, because he lacks that distinguished gap-toothed smile and has those peculiar flat ears.

  235. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): Ha! Do the words “Tonight I celebrate my love for you” mean anything to you?

  236. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#231): That’s a cute song, and it occurs to me that Dooley is the original ironic hipster, imagine! I sometimes taunt my big brother (born 1941) with “White Sport Coat and Pink Carnation” and I think it would be possible to do a mash-up of the Pink Carnation and the Pink Shoe Laces.

  237. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#235): I see your Roberta Flack and raise you Minnie Ripperton.

  238. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): “Running Bear and Little White Dove” isn’t half as bad as Cher’s “Half Breed.”

  239. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#238): Nothing is as bad as anything Cher ever recorded.

  240. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Please, no more Cher, or I’ll need another round of ECT.

  241. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#223): @Lumaca Morente (#223): Worst earworm ever: Running Bear and Little White Dove. (You’re welcome.)

    And then just transition into Blue Swede’s version of “Hooked on a Feeling”.
    OOOGA-CHAKA OOOGA-CHAKA OOOGA-CHAKA!!!

  242. lynn
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Poor Minnie Ripperton! “Looovin’ you…is easy ’cause you’re beautiful…” Sigh. Then I found out that IRL Mr. Scudder looks like Franz Kafka. NTTAWWT.

  243. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#231):

    “Dodie” was the name of Steve’s stepdaughter on My Three Sons. Which sorta makes me wonder if her mother was playing a Dodie Stevens song when the kid was conceived.

  244. lynn
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Brutal. Just brutal.
    //goodbye again.

  245. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#241): God damn it. Now I’m not only hearing ooga-chaka in my head, but it’s accompanied by that freaky dancing baby from Ally McBeal.

  246. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#241): Man, don’t you step on my Blue Swede shoes.

  247. I speak Jive
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    There is one “singer” worse than Cher, and today is her birthday! Yoko Ono is 80 today.

  248. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    JP-Katherine sounds like the sort of person who will be micromanaging your wedding night. “No no no. Do you call that stimulating her? It looks more like your stuffing a turkey than arousing her.”

    MT-”If I can’t beat him at fishing I’ve got a friend by the name of Mr. Tire Iron that will beat him.”

    Marvin-”I’m the Ghost of Potty Training Yet to Come.”

    MW-”I have an unfulfilling life here that I just can’t give up.”

  249. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    MW-”The only way I could give up my swanky lifestyle here is if my New York counterpart was suddenly hospitalized for being in a massive fire.”

  250. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#244):

    Brutal. Just brutal.

    That’s life for you.

  251. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#243): This shows a somewhat disturbing relationship with “My Three Sons”.

  252. Baka Gaijin
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#247): Even in quotation marks, I don’t think rational people would consider Ms. Ono a singer.

  253. gojira
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    An earworms debate? Submitted for your consideration, the “Love Is” of earworms: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnk8SKD9zcA

  254. kanomi
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “But seriously, what are you doing?”
    “Slinging meth to tweakers, duh.”

    Spider-Man: An immovable missile meets irresistible exposition.

    Rex Morgan: If Honey really is a fabulous TG stripper “not like other girls”, I’ll write an erotic comics fanfic about them – completely without nude presidential candidates.

  255. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    9CL – the Smuckling brothers are not Yankee fans. They only have the bats because they are trying out for a local production of The Warriors, which is casting for people to play members of the Baseball Furies gang.

  256. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @gojira (#253): Hysterical that the video starts with a commercial for “bad dog breath”, lol!

  257. Alice
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I know this is an outlier opinion here, but Crystal is in fact one of the only Luann characters I actually like, the others being Tiffany and Knute. Sure, she can be caustic, but unlike Bernice vis-à-vis Luann, Crystal has a way of getting Tiffany to plant both feet on the ground, and talking her into doing the right thing (like with the pageant fundraiser). Also, their banter reminds me of Penny and Aggie, from the webcomic of the same name, minus the sexual tension. (Given that Evans insists on taking years to bring even opposite-sex couples together, there’s no way he’d nut up and do a same-sex pairing. But I digress.) I get why people don’t like Crystal, though, so I’m not saying anyone has to agree with my take on her. I’ll just add that I think she and Knute are the closest the comic has to a relaxed and happy relationship. (Even if Evans won’t sack up and show them kissing, apparently reserving kisses only for cliché New Year’s Day strips.)

  258. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Alice (#257): We hate Crystal because she’s in the comic strip Luann.

  259. AhClem
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Regarding earworms, I offer the Donna Summer disco version of “Macarthur Park.”

    Game, set, match. You’re welcome.

    (The only problem is that whenever I suggest an earworm, it plants itself in my brain and takes contr … AAAAH!! MAKE IT STOP!!).

  260. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Fire the Big Guns!

  261. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @gojira (#253):

    Wasn’t that in the Simpsons episode when Homer and Marge meet or was it the episode when Bart was born?

  262. AhClem
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

  263. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#260): Oh, well, if we’re just talking bad singing, maybe you had to live in the Philadelphia area to remember Philadelphia Flyer Dave Schultz singing “Penalty Box”. Think of a much-worse version of “Backfield in Motion”. Novelty earworms? I present http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oOzszFIBcE

  264. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#232):

    WAAAAH! I can’t get Mad here.

    You can’t eat the whole meal but you can get a taste at their website.

  265. bats :[
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

  266. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#195): I’d be willing to bet that Mark Trail could eat TWICE that many waffles, plus 240,000,000 pancakes to go with them. Looks like a long night over a hot skillet and waffle maker for Cherry Trail.

  267. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    I am so annoyed that I can’t find a youtube video of Clodagh Roberts’ “Jack in the Box” earworm.

  268. yaoi huntress earth
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#96): But cattle farming is a job for beefwits, not creatures of pure art so Brooke doesn’t have to look up anything. *sarcasm mode off*

  269. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    9CL: With a name like Smuckling, they have to be good, right?

  270. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

  271. Illustrator Steve
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#202): “….when a suspect is picked up by the police, he is said to be “assisting them with their inquires””
    Maybe it’s because the police report forms they use during questioning only have the choice of two boxes to check off…ASSISTING or RESISTING. If they check off the ‘resisting’ box it takes 18 months to complete the form before the suspect can go home.

  272. Jim in Wisc.
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Luann: So, is Evans having another flashback to half a century ago, when that cute cheerleader rejected his clumsy advances? So, now he’s going to use his bully pulpit to exact his revenge on her, by exposing her shallow vanity?

  273. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Earwigs can become contagious.

  274. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#247): There is one “singer” worse than Cher, and today is her birthday! Yoko Ono is 80 today.

    Worse than “Tiny Tim” (Herbert Khaury)? How soon they forget…

    Happy 80th birthday, Yoko!

    @Lumaca Morente (#251): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#243): This shows a somewhat disturbing relationship with “My Three Sons”.

    It’s no more disturbing than a mutant sea slug (with a disposable penis) “marrying up” with a mule.

  275. gojira
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#261): I don’t know, but that song sure was on NY radio stations every 20 minutes or so when it first came out. If it was played that often country-wide, I’m not surprised whoever produces “The Simpsons” remembers it, too.

  276. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#274): Aw, Rocky. You can’t mention “Tiny Tim” without giving a link!

  277. Lumaca Morente
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#274): Ok, that is much more disturbing, but I think the trend is that you seem to ponder some disturbing subjects. Let us know when you start imagining Becky and the sea slug with Fred MacMurray and the boys.

  278. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 18th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Earworm for the win: “Hey, Boy”.

  279. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

  280. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#53):

    My favorite iron-deprived commenting at GoComics…

    They should read Popeye. Spinach is a good source of iron.

  281. Ratiocinator
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#261): I remember! The episode had Homer and Marge listening to the song while driving, shortly before Homer proposed to her, which makes it the one where Bart was conceived instead of the one where they met in high school.

  282. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#243): Perhaps the writer for “My Three Sons” was a fan of comedienne Dody Goodman, who had been a regular on the Tonight Show with Jack Paar in the late 1950s. Although she is nowadays perhaps best known for playing the mother on “Mary Hartmann, Mary Hartmann”, Dody Goodman had been something of a cutie earlier in her career.

    Or maybe the writer had previously worked on “Dobie Gillis”. Or would later become a Doobie Brother. Or felt the soon-to-be-cancelled series was a dodo.

  283. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#247): Woah ees ovah, eef you want eet!

  284. Majicou
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#281): “The guy she was singing about must’ve been real happy.”
    “Actually, she was singing about God.”
    “Oh. Well, he’s always happy. No, wait, he’s always mad.”

  285. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#284): Cosmic Muffin or Hairy Thunderer.

  286. Ukulele Ike
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#22): I empathize with the pain you must be feeling on getting no feedback to your Laura Nyro post, 260 posts ago.

    I started listening to Laura about six years back, and I find that absolutely NO ONE — even here in music-mad hipster Brooklyn — remembers her or knows anything about her. I get strange looks when I talk about how brilliant New York Tendaberry is.

    (Since you mention the great musicians on Eli…Zoot Sims plays the blues tenor solo on “Lonely Women.” I really, really love Zoot Sims.)

  287. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#82):

    RMMD: I think it’s safe to say Honey’s not carrying a concealed weapon.

    He should give her a “cavity search”.

  288. Zerowolf
    February 18th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Ed teaching driver’s ed? This will be the only high school in the country where no one wants to get their license.

  289. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#159):

    And don’t forget: She has cookies too!

  290. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#288): My only hope is that Sophie Spencer-Driver will be one of his drivers-ed students. As soon as he starts in with his asshattery, Sam and Abbey will simply have him shot along with the other couple of dozen peasants they dispose of daily.

  291. The Doctor
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Beetle wasn’t scared out of his socks. It’s all a part of an elaborate homoerotic performance, and Beetle has just started the stripping portion of the act.

    Blondie seems surprised that a TV station can show something that isn’t happening live. Although I guess we should give her and Dagwood mad props for even knowing what a television is, let alone that they have a station other than 3, 5, and 8.

    Haha, Lucky Eddie’s eye exam consists of him not running the Viking ship into rocks. He failed, and now he will be executed for damage to the ship.

    It looks like Dot and Ditto were like, “no school! Were going out to play!”, and Lois was like, “Wait, do you know why you have the day off?”. That’s the only logical explanation for the twins’ expressions in panel one.

    Haha, Ziggy’s bird Josh has Twitter (R) (TM) followers! Get it? Because he’s a BIRD!!!

    Hey, Wiley, what is a “gunpowder room”?

    Of course, Honey doesn’t DROP her towel, that couldn’t happen, but it just “falls to the floor” after Honey “lost” it. Right. Oh, wait. What am I thinking? This is Rex, and I don’t think any woman would willingly get naked in front of him.

    Mary Worth has no life. She just doesn’t want to spend any more time with that creep John. Oh, and “We can ride this wave higher!” We can go to a statewide cake carrying competition! I’m sure they’d have a lot worse insults than “granny” though, and Mary wouldn’t be able to handle that…

  292. NonnyMus
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    At Manhattan General, they just toss you in a set of white jammies and toss you into a bed… no matter what is wrong with you.

    At least the nurse’s caps are always clean and starched!

  293. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#203): Yay for warm hearts and rescuing discarded pet bunnies. And I like the bunnie’s name.

    I’m enough of a sucker for rescuing-abandoned-pets stories that McE could possibly win me over with a good one, at least temporarily. But this stolen-cow story will probably just make me rant. Alas.

  294. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#281):

    I remember Homer and Marge talking about the song. Homer thinks she is singing about a guy and Marge thinks she is singing about God.

  295. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y182): The good doctor carps unfairly, insisting on a term of art in a conversational setting. Just as a spherical billiard ball may properly be called round, I’d say an off-round one could be said to be elliptical without doing harm to the fabric of the language.

    Uncle Lumpy – As fine a set of excuses as I’ve heard since that great scene in The Blues Brothers. It fair puts me in mind of one of my own humble efforts.

  296. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @The Doctor (#291):

    Re RMMD: Honey also doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to cover herself back up with the towel either!

  297. hibbleton
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Marm: Milkshake? Bread? At this point, the Englishman can no longer care.

  298. Zerowolf
    February 18th, 2013 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Please may Margo’s next words be, “What happened to the Professor?”

  299. Zerowolf
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#82): fembots are a concealed weapon. Yeah, Bay-Be!

    //Just in case you didn’t get the reference, probably NSFW.

  300. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#298):

    “What happened to the Professor?”

    He’s probably outside!

  301. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#273): Earwigs? There’s a horrid thought.

  302. hibbleton
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#299):
    Fembot , meet manbot, aka Mark Trail.

  303. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”It’s not a peacock. My girlfriend thinks it’s a good size.”

  304. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#298): A3G: Please may Margo’s next words be, “What happened to the Professor?”

    That would be wonderful. And then Tommie would burst into tears, “How could I have forgotten about the professor? Again!”

  305. Droopy Says
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#301): If my ears go bald too, I will not wear an earwig!

  306. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#305): Well, I suppose there’s no need to bring up merkins, then.

  307. Zerowolf
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    MW: There’s a million stories in the naked city, Mary’s just won’t be one of them.

  308. tallyHO
    February 18th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    maryworth

    The freakiest thing about Mary’s involvement in that absurd cake decorating contest has to be that prior to that all she did was make this bland-looking pies.

    If she doesn’t up her game as a result of this experience and produce more delicious looking pastries then….

    waitasecond! Hold the phone! Put the mule out into the pasture and tell her to gather more zippers! Call Aunt Patootey and tell her get off her duff, find the Professor, the Skipper and Mary Ann, and get the hell off the island!

    Mary Worth just had a Great Accomplishment! So what’s her angle here? Is she foregoing the trip to New York because she wants a bigger slice of the cake? Does she want more than Five Grand? Is she angling to get the entire 10 Grand?
    Is her goal to buy her own Bum Boat, or, a boat for her bum? If the latter is the case, I can’t see it being a dingy.

    I could see Mary buying herself an engagement ring and trying to hornswaggle Blandy McBlanderson….(Reverend Doctor Jeff?) into thinking Mr. Whipple proposed to her. So, she would try to make her beau jealous to get him to propose to her. He’d never be the wiser either. All Mary would have to do is say how she and John Dill–he of the sweet, sweet pickle– grew closer and formed a bond that no sugar daddy could break…unless Doctor Jeff could up the ante on the carat of her rock.

    Dang, that’s cold!

  309. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#301): Earwigs are indeed a horrid thought, but aren’t earworms supposed to be the larvae that develop and feed on your brain after the earwig burrows its way deep into your auditory canal and lays its eggs there? Oh wait, maybe that happens only in old EC comic books. Never mind.

  310. TheDiva
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#288): Or the only county where not taking Driver’s Ed would be beneficial to getting your license.

  311. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#276): I always thought Tiny Tim was the missing link.

    @Lumaca Morente (#277): Fred MacMurray and his sons were a bunch of Goody Two-Shoes. Uncle Charley, on the other hand, was probably a serial killer when he wasn’t pretending to keep house for the Douglas clan.

  312. Alte Ziege
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#75): No, actually they do teach you how to deal with sexually aggressive and suggestive patients. First don’t get into the situation by having the door open, not being alone with a half-undressed patient, or have another person in the room. Second, don’t make a big deal about it if there is a suggestive comment or act. Rex’s conniption fit only reenforces her behavior. Bad move, Doctor.

  313. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#282): The writer for “My Three Sons” was actually a fan of Howdy Doody. He named Dawn Lyn’s character on the show “Dodie” because of her wooden acting.

  314. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#304): Let’s cut Tommie some slack. After all, it has been sob a very rough sob day for her.

  315. Mel aka Mel
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    RE Yankees/Cows — Wikipedia sez:

    The mascots and personalities of the Staten Island Yankees were among the first to have a major following in the low Minor League system. They have been featured in TV shows and magazines in both the U.S. and Japan, and invited to guest appear at many East Coast Minor League stadiums. They have won honors from several independent baseball magazines and organizations.
    The original Staten Island Yankees Mascot is Scooter “the holy” Cow. A combination of NY Yankees shortstop, Phil “Scooter” Rizzuto Phil Rizzuto, and his commentating catch phrase “Holy Cow!”. Scooter debuted for the Staten Island Yankees when the franchise relocated from Watertown, New York in 1999. In the summer of 2003, the Baby Bombers debuted Scooter’s brothers Red and Huckleberry. Since then, Scooter and his brothers have been a staple at SI Yankee games, leading fan rallies and between inning on field games. The three cows, have known to have a “stooges” like relationship, often with the two “newer” cows “Red” and “Huck” teaming up to trick and trap Scooter. The Mascots are even featured in the team’s annual baseball cards.

  316. Sgt. Stoned
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Why, someday we could be bakin’ pink cakes for the President of the Yoo-nited States!”

    Momma: My vaccination scar is on my arm. Just where in Hell did Momma have her daughter vaccinated–and for what?

  317. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#311):

    Fred MacMurray and his sons were a bunch of Goody Two-Shoes.

    You’re sneaking another earworm in here, aren’t you?

  318. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#313): The writer for “My Three Sons” was actually a fan of Howdy Doody. He named Dawn Lyn’s character on the show “Dodie” because of her wooden acting.

    He named the character AFTER he had seen the actress portraying the character act as that character? So, the first few episodes, she was known as “ol’ what’s-’er-name”, or “thingamajig”?

    // Or did he just presume, on the basis of her earlier work, that she would be ligneous in this role as well?

  319. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#317): I thought you were trying to get us to listen to this little Frank de Vol ditty. I’m glad it turned out to be the Caroline Munro video instead.

  320. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Surefire earworm killer: sing “The Lonely Goatherd” (from The Sound of Music) to the tune of “The Girl from Ipanema.”

    Yo. de-lay. delay. hee ho…

    You’re welcome.

  321. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Jeebus, if it isn’t strawman day:

    FW: Oh, female band directors! This should be the plot for an episode of “Maude”.

    9CL: ooooo–eviltron rednecks, beating defenseless bovines. McEldowner knows his audience of spinsters, doesn’t he?

    Sexorgan, MD, Which is almost living up to the name this week. I think I want that first panel as a poster. I do like how June sees right through the bullshit.

  322. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    FW-Thank god we have moved on since those dark and unenlightened days of last year.

    Crankshaft-Just don’t fail the blonde whose dad is a lawyer.

    MT-And that is what you get for buying things from late night television.

    MT 2-”I could use the money. I can’t go back to prostitution.”

  323. Liam
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”June, make the naked woman go away. You know how I’m scared of them.”

  324. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#319): Before listening to that clip, I was able to hum the theme music, despite never having seen even one episode of the show. When I was a kid, I would watch practically anything if it was animated. So I watched the opening credits of My Three Sons and then changed the channel as soon as the live-action part came on.

    I drew the line at Yogi’s Gang, though. Even I had some standards.

  325. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#142):

    She gets too hungry for dinner at eight,
    She like the theater and never comes late,
    She never wears pants when she goes on a date,
    That’s why the lady is a tramp.

  326. Poteet
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G — It has been observed by several Mudges that this hospital is completely devoid of modern technology. Perhaps this is the hospital in DOWNTON ABBEY and Margo and Tommie have been transported through time and space to afflict the inhabitants of early 1920s Yorkshire.

  327. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#325): Yesh! The only Frank Sinatra song about a Cocker Spaniel!

  328. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#326): We were told some days ago that this scene is set in “Manhattan General”.

    I believe that is a life insurance company.

  329. Baka Gaijin
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#298): No one knows. The last anyone heard of him was that he’s taking a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour.

    * written before I read @tallyHO (#308).

    @Sgt. Stoned (#316) on Momma: On her hoo-hoo. It was a good old-fashioned immunization of mercury for, uh, sores.

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#320): The last time I drove into Salzburg that song came on the iPod, completely randomly. In shock, I almost ran over a von Trapp.

    @Peanut Gallery (#324): Having seen far too many episodes, I wish I’d stopped at the station identification preceding the opening credits.

  330. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    I would like to see how Nick and Nora of Thin Man fame would handle the Rex Morgan scenario.

  331. Peanut Gallery
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#330):
    Nora: “For heaven’s sake, dear, put on a robe before you catch your death of cold!”
    Nick: “This calls for a drink!”

  332. zerowolf
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: if Honey really is a transexual, then June has finally found a woman that is man enough for the both of them.

  333. Sequitur
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#331): Yeah. Something like that.

  334. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): Or did he just presume, on the basis of her earlier work, that she would be ligneous in this role as well?

    Check out some of Dawn Lyn’s earlier work and decide for yourself. For example: she played “Decky Ortega” in a 1971 Gregory Peck film called Shoot Out.

    Gregory Peck, incidentally, was Ed Dodd’s inspiration when he did the original character design for Mark Trail.

  335. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#280): Heh, indeedy, though that was deliberate, not a typo.

  336. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#320): By far the worst earworms I’ve run across are the ones conjured from ancient television ads:

    Brylcreem brylcreem brylcreem!
    Brylcreem — a little dab’ll do ya
    Brylcreem — you look so debonair
    Brylcreem — the girls will all pursue ya…
    They love to get their fingers in your hair!

  337. Droopy Says
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#306): Damn, you just earwormed me with that old song:

    “My, my, you baked me a merkin pie,
    give me a piece and I’ll give it a try,
    but good old boys were watching on the sly,
    saying ‘We are from the FBI . . .
    ‘We are from the FBI . . .’”

  338. seismic-2
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#336): Fearless Fosdick considered the jingle for Brylcreem’s rival, namely Wildroot Creem Oil, to be irresistible.

  339. Droopy Says
    February 18th, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): The writer may have seen the actress during auditions. But, “My Three Sons” being what it was, it’s possible the show didn’t give the character a name at first. It may have been like the father character’s job, which was so obscure that one episode had Soviet spies try to discover what the man did for a living (and it still surprises me that the show had that much humor about itself.)

  340. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#330): I would like to see how Nick and Nora of Thin Man fame would handle the Rex Morgan scenario.

    Nora: “Asta, give Honey back her bathrobe. She needs it more than you do!”
    Nick: “That reminds me… my martini needs a couple of olives!”

  341. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#330): “Oh, that’s tacky! That’s REALLY tacky!”

  342. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#295): @Nehemiah Scudder (#y182): The good doctor carps unfairly, insisting on a term of art in a conversational setting. Just as a spherical billiard ball may properly be called round, I’d say an off-round one could be said to be elliptical without doing harm to the fabric of the language.

    “…a spherical billiard ball may properly be called round,”

    True, but “round” doesn’t really have a precise mathematical definition, unlike “elliptical”. Elliptical has to do with two dimensional shapes; ellipsoidal with three dimensions. You probably wouldn’t, to use a more precise analogy, call a spherical billiard ball “circular”.

    I didn’t mean to suggest that Asimov actually made a big deal about it. It was just a breezy lead in, as I recall, to one of his F&SF mag science articles, dealing, as you might guess, with the shape of the Earth. Asimov was, of course, a passionate Gilbertian.

  343. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#324): Partly, it’s easy to remember My Three Sons’ theme music because it’s based on Chopsticks. Then there are the great lyrics from the ads on Nick at Nite:

    They’re My Three Sons
    Yes, My Three Sons
    They’re My Three Sons
    On Nick at Nite!

    They’ve got a dad!
    His name is Steve!
    He’s got a job!
    He’s really tall!

    And then there’s Bub!
    He makes them food!
    They’ve got a dog!
    They’re My Three Sons (on Nick at Nite)!

    Truly, it was a golden age of TV reruns. I also miss HOW TO BE SWELL.

  344. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    tacky.

    Prof. McGonagall was a dish in her younger days. just sayin.

  345. Mr. O’Malley
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#286): Since I got that earworm I discovered there is a biography of her that apparently gives personnel lists for all of the recordings, so I’ll have to track that down. Zoot Sims, great player.

    I can’t imagine a sixteen year old writing something like “And When I Die”.

    Of course if Charles Babbage had been around, he would have wanted her to change it to “There’ll be one and a sixteenth children born in this world to carry on”.

  346. Mr. O’Malley
    February 18th, 2013 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#263): How can you talk about singing hockey players without “Honky the Christmas Goose”? Is that on YouTube? Dear Lord, it is!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#274): Tiny Tim was a pretty good ukelele player, and he had an encyclopedic knowledge of vintage pop music. He certainly brought Nick Lucas back into the spotlight.

    Tiny Tim was a big Leafs fan, and I’ve often wondered in years since whether it was him who played the role of the “CHUM Witch” whose hexes were credited (at least on that station) with giving the Leafs the 1964 Stanley Cup. But it was all so long ago and there doesn’t seem to be much information available.

  347. Majicou
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#344): Great movie. You won’t find a cast like that anywhere else (as far as I know. Here comes someone to correct me.)

  348. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#346): The poem of Tennyson you mentioned earlier is one of my favorites, the Vision of Sin. It deserves to be quoted a little more fully:

    “Slip-shod waiter, lank and sour,
    At the Dragon on the heath!
    Let us have a quiet hour,
    Let us hob-and-nob with Death.

    “I am old, but let me drink;
    Bring me spices, bring me wine;
    I remember, when I think,
    That my youth was half divine.

    “Wine is good for shrivell’d lips,
    When a blanket wraps the day,
    When the rotten woodland drips,
    And the leaf is stamp’d in clay.

    “Sit thee down, and have no shame,
    Cheek by jowl, and knee by knee:
    What care I for any name?
    What for order or degree?

    “Let me screw thee up a peg:
    Let me loose thy tongue with wine:
    Callest thou that thing a leg?
    Which is thinnest? thine or mine?

    “Thou shalt not be saved by works:
    Thou hast been a sinner too:
    Ruin’d trunks on wither’d forks,
    Empty scarecrows, I and you!

    “Fill the cup, and fill the can:
    Have a rouse before the morn:
    Every moment dies a man,
    Every moment one is born.”

    “Let me screw thee up a a peg.” There’s a phrase to work into your daily conversation!

  349. FOOBed again
    February 19th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

  350. Droopy Says
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#349): I didn’t think my post was that devoid of content! Just the same, I have to admire the way you responded in blank verse.

  351. Baka Gaijin
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#340): Ah, Asta. What a personable scamp of a dog, quite unlike Asda.

  352. seismic-2
    February 19th, 2013 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    Early morning alert: if you haven’t seen the first panel of Tuesday’s RMMD yet, then get your computer ready for a new screensaver.

  353. Morgan Wick
    February 19th, 2013 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    I was going to wonder whether alcohol has ever been hinted at in Apartment 3-G before, then I remembered Margo and either Greg, Evan, or both had some fun with it earlier this storyline. A3-G is now my favorite of the soaps, though if most Rex Morgan, M.D. storylines involve scantily-clad women, it may join it.

    Oh look, Momma has completed its pass of the TDIET Memorial Centenary Line!

  354. Illustrator Steve
    February 19th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#348): “”Let me screw thee up a peg”. There’s a phrase to work into your daily conversation!”

    I love it! I will use that line Tuesday while in meetings with the general contractor who will find out about MORE major changes my client wants for the house I designed for her that’s being built!

  355. Korin Vallance
    February 20th, 2013 at 6:23 am [Reply]

    My god, what’s the Smiler from Transmetropolitan doing in Gil Thorp.

  356. renting a dumpter
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Collecting recyclables varies from community to community, but there are costs, and
    recycling schedule las vegas doesn’t keep up with the annual consumption of paper goods, according to the Wisconsin Bureau of Public Health. Drop your phone into the EcoATM, and the waste can be utilized or gotten rid of due to this process.

  357. ??? ??
    September 10th, 2013 at 3:04 am [Reply]

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